What does it truly mean to be patient?

I have always thought that I am a patient person.

I am able to keep my temper under control and I deal with negativity in the most positive way I can.

But crisis teaches you a lot of things about life and most importantly, about yourself.

I learned that love and patience takes infinitely more than that.

Patience is compassion.

Instead of demanding or begging for things to be okay, it helps you to feel another person’s pain and understand what they are going through.

It helps you to be forgiving of other people who judge you.

Patience moves you to understand the frailty that comes with being human.

It understands that everyone fails.
When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it.
It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under pressure.

In the end, love and patience  is a demonstration of faith that healing will take its course and everything will be alright in His perfect time.

Do you know what true love really means?

I always thought I did but I realized that knowing how to love is much easier than actually doing it.

True love takes more than saying “I love you,” doing kind things or feeling thrilled about one another.

The personal challenges I have been going through are teaching me that love is a daily decision –  a conscious choice every moment of your life to be loving, to be patient and to be kind among other things.

It is not the easiest thing to do especially when pain and pride get in the way.

But God has taught me so many times that a heart that loves must be filled with humility.

I realized that God allowed me to have this  challenging life situation to teach me the most important thing I could ever learn: to love unconditionally.

Today I am beginning my 40-day love journey.

I am learning NOT to follow my heart.

I am learning how to lead it.

I took him for granted.

I hurt him a lot of times.

Traded him for other people and things I thought made me happy.

He tried to make me feel he loves me so much, but I was too selfish to even see.

Then my mistakes caught up on me.

I ended up hurting him and hurting myself.

Now wounded and tired, I am humbled as I find my way back home.

I finally realized true love lies in him.

Now I am going back to HIM.

***

It took a painful lesson to teach me that I need God in my life.

For the past years, I lived as if I didn’t need God.

I labeled myself a non-practicing Catholic.

I never went to Mass.

I could count the few times I really prayed.

I just thought I could go on with my life just fine.

I could handle any problems that come my way.

I don’t need a God to help me.

And then it hit me.

I blindly failed a trial that tested my faith.

Instead of seeking out God, I trusted my own understanding.

I allowed myself to suffer the searing pain in my heart.

I beat myself up black and blue.

But God continued to love me.

He sent me an angel to gently push me in the right direction.

***

Yesterday, I returned to the Victory Fellowship.

It had been an emotionally draining week.

I was exhausted and I needed some place to find strength again.

In the midst of people praising and worshiping God, I started to cry.

I felt as though God was speaking to me right there:

“I am your healer,
I am your refuge,
I am your strength.”

The reading from the Bible couldn’t have been more apt.

Because just like the loving father who welcomed the prodigal son when he came home, God welcomed me back in his home again.

It dawned on me that “his grace is greater than my sin.”

He loved the sinner and the saint in me.

And for once, I felt truly free.

I was freed from pain, anger and confusion.

And in their place, I found peace, love and compassion.

***

It took me awhile to get here, but God, here I am.

Thank you for healing my broken heart and making it whole again.

Lord, I have done everything I could do,

Now I leave it in your hands and put my faith in you.

Photo: steve

I dashed inside the the comfort room desperate for the hand dryer.

My hands were frozen stiff because of the extreme cold in our office. The hand dryer was my only hope for relief.

Just then, another girl entered through the door and slipped inside the first cubicle.

A few minutes later, I could hear her stifled sobs.

I tried to ignore her and just concentrate on defrosting my hands.

But a couple more minutes passed and she still hasn’t stopped sobbing.

I was tempted to knock on her door, hand her a tissue and comfort her.

But I held back and headed for the door.

Just yesterday, I was in that cubicle too, having a good cry.

I guess all of us need time to cry alone.

Cry

I used to hold back my emotions because I saw crying as a sign of weakness.

But I learned that sometimes it’s okay to cry because it helps hasten the healing of heartache.

I think it’s okay to feel sorry for yourself, wallow in your self-pity, and wail “Poor me! Poor me!”

At least for a day.

Then get over it.

How do you heal a heartache?

No one is going to come down from heaven and tell you, “it’s okay, it’s time for you to heal now.”

No one can save you from pain.

It is up to you to choose to save yourself.

1. Take responsibility for your life. No matter what other people do or say to you, it is still your choice on how you would react. If you are broken, its because you chose to break yourself.

2. Make a conscious effort to heal. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. Stay away from people who feed your ego and self-pity.

3. Accept the past for what it is. If you continue to dwell in the past, think of the past, and talk about the past, what do you gain?

Unnecessary self-inflicted pain.

There’s no use trying to change the past or looking forward to a happier future.

The only thing you have is now.

The only thing you can change is now.

If you want to be happy, choose to be happy now.

Choose

Remember that it is always your choice.

There is nothing scientific or superhuman about it.

You simply make a choice.

If you continue to suffer, it’s not because you CAN’T heal.

It’s because you DON’T WANT to heal.

Because if you really wanted to, you can do it right now.

That’s a weird thing about adults.

Somehow, we get a certain kick out of being depressed and hurt.

As Eckhart Tolle would say, it’s the “pain body,” it’s the ego who needs pain to feel alive.

Life seems much more interesting when you’re suffering some kind of heartache.

That’s why there are  a host of angsty songs that make you cry and feel even more miserable.

But when you think about it, you can simply make a choice.

Just take a cue from the kids. They are much more emotionally mature than we think we are.

They forget easily, they forgive wholeheartedly, they laugh heartily, and they always, always choose to love freely.

***

Time for you to listen to your own advice.

Photo credit: Wolfsoul

“May mga kanta ako para sa inyo… “Light On” tsaka “Come Back to Me” ni David Cook. Am listening to it. Naisip kita. Ipaubaya mo na sa ‘kin ‘yung “I’m Yours”. Lol!”

She was referring to my cellphone’s ringback tone, a sign of my fascination with Jason Mraz.

I’ve always made it a point to check a song’s lyrics before actually listening to them.

So off I went to Google David Cook’s songs.

And A was right.

(”She said / He said?”)

These two songs did hit home.

—

“Light On”

Never really said too much
Afraid it wouldn’t be enough
Just try to keep my spirits up
When there’s no point in grieving
Doesn’t matter anyway
Words could never make me stay
Words will never take my place
When you know I’m leaving

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

You know we’ve been down that road
What seems a thousand times before
My back to a closing door and my eyes to the seasons
That roll out underneath my heels
And you don’t know how bad it feels
To leave the only one that I have ever believed in

Sometimes it feels like we’ve run out of luck
When the signal keeps on breaking up
When the wires cross in my brain
You’ll start my heart again
When I come along

—

“Come Back to Me”

You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you’re becoming someone else
Don’t recognize the face in the mirror looking back at you

You say you’re leaving as you look away
I know there’s really nothing left to say
Just know I’m here whenever you need me I’ll wait for you

So I’ll let you go, I’ll set you free
And when you’ve seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

Take your time, I won’t go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I’ll keep your things right where you left them
I’ll be here for you

Oh and I’ll let you go, I’ll set your free
And when you’ve seen what you need to see
When you find you, come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I’ll be right here waiting to see
You find you, come back to me

I can’t get close if you’re not there
I can’t get inside if there’s no soul there
I can’t face you, I can’t save you
It’s something you’ll have to do

—

The thing about life, you can’t just hit “Pause,” “Fast – forward” or “Rewind”.

You can either press “STOP” and let the song of your life come to an end or…

just let it “PLAY” and hope that this time, the lyrics will be sung just right.

“Good morning, Ma’am!”

I looked up to see the security guard with a full smile.

“Good morning.”

I mumbled with a half-smile. I guess my emotions froze for a moment because I was used to being ignored by guards and ignoring them as well.

I would often just present my bags without even looking at them and just breeze through after a quick check.

But this man seemed genuinely happy to greet me and very enthusiastic about his job.

After he checked my bags, he looked at me again and gestured with his hand toward the station entrance.

“Thank you po!” he exclaimed.

This time, I was able to say a more cheerful “Thank you” with a full smile.

In fact, I continued to smile even as I waited for the train to arrive.

That might have seemed an insignificant gesture to him, but for me it meant more than that.

It was a brief connection but I felt the real happiness that emanated from this person. And somehow, he was able to rub some of that on me.

See there is so much kindness around us if we only care to recognize it.

You never know how even just a smile could make a whole world of difference to somebody.

Later that evening, as I went to the train station, I looked for the same security guard and was preparing to greet him “Good evening!” but there was another person in his place. He looked stern and gruff.

But I didn’t mind.

After he checked my bags, I looked at him and said “Thank you!” with a smile.

He simply looked at me expressionless.

But I was feeling too good to care.

The next time around, I’m just going to keep saying “Thank you!” with a smile on my face.

Who knows, that other person might just smile back.

Have you witnessed a random act of kindness today?

Photo by: Paul Linton

Value your present by creating your happiness every moment.

Be happy every chance you get.

How easy this will be depends entirely on you.

You can choose to be happy.

Right here. Right now.

There are so many things you can be thankful for.

That alone is enough reason to be happy.

Expand your view of life.

Delete the bad.

Absorb all that is good.

Give up everything that is not working in your life.

Bad habits. Self-serving attitudes.  Ingratitude.

Drama. Resentment. Anger.

Bad memories. Negative thoughts. Vile words.

Let go of the toxic people who poison your life.

Take in everything that will nourish your spirit.

Form good habits. Reach out to others. Be grateful.

Laugh. Let go. Be happy.

Create good memories. Think good thoughts. Speak encouragingly.

BE, HAVE AND DO LOVE.

Open your heart to the amazing people who bless your soul.

You already know all of this.

All you’ve got to do is remember.

Photo by: JPhilipson

When the pain of the past haunts you or when the fear of the future comes to you, shake them off, close your eyes and say: “NOW.”

It’s almost like a forceful mantra that brings you back to reality, the only real thing there is — the present moment.

The past is gone, the future is yet to happen and you don’t hold them in your hands. Dwelling or focusing on what has happened or what is yet to happen just wastes the possibility of the present moment.

The only thing you can ever hold in your hands is the present moment.

The only thing you can ever do is make something happen now.

Whenever the tough times hit or when you find yourself in a challenging situation, keep in mind the three choices that you have (and this means, you always have a choice in everything):

- get out of the situation
- change the situation
- or accept the situation for what it is.

Realize that the main cause of your pain is resistance to what is.

Remember that when you fight life, you always end up losing.

Of course, it’s always easier to be in pain, to cry and feel sorry for yourself for all the things that happened in the past.

It’s even easier to get engrossed in dreams of things that you want to happen in some far – off time you are not sure when.

Either way, you are trapped and nothing changes.

It maybe hard to change a situation and even harder to get out of it.

It feels like change takes so much effort than dwelling or dreaming.

More than that, it demands that you get out of your comfort zone, maybe even dare you to do something you’ve never done before or face the possibility of getting hurt.

It may also feel like the hardest thing to do would have to be to accept.

You may think that accepting, in a way, feels like surrender or defeat.

And your ego never likes to be defeated.

It always has to be right. It always has to win.

But when you decide to accept all the things that had happened in your life and you surrendered to what is happening now, you realize that you have not lost. You have won over your pain.

With acceptance, you gained peace.

You became at peace with yourself.

With acceptance, you gained understanding.

You began to see your life situation in another perspective.

With acceptance, you gained faith.

You believe that everything is as it should be.

Everyday, try to focus yourself in the now, change the things you can change and accept those that you can’t.

Tempting as it is, try not to dream of some remote fulfillment in the future. Remind yourself that there’s no point in being happy someday.

Instead choose to be happy today.

Yes, happiness is a choice.

When you look for happiness now, when you gratefully accept every moment, you’ll see life for what it truly is…

A present.

And start living again.

When that moment comes, you feel free to start over.

You become wiser.

Stronger.

You learn to forgive others.

More than that, you learn to forgive yourself.

In the end you realize, life is much too precious…

to waste

…dwelling in the past,

…nurturing pain,

…keeping grudges,

…and harboring anger.

Instead you make that choice to spend your days…

…valuing the present moment

…striving for healing

…letting go

…and loving.

In the end, you know that no matter what other people may say or think…

what matters is you know your self-worth.

In the end, you discover who your real friends are.

The ones who truly know, understand, accept and love you for all that you are.

In the end, you re-learn to value your family.

The ones who truly love you… unconditionally.

In the end, you appreciate once again the gift of endless laughter, warm hugs and sloppy kisses that only your little ones can give.

The ones whom you can sacrifice for just so they can live.

In the end, you feel the true meaning of love…

and you know the one whom you give it to.

The one who gives his heart and soul to you.

When life gives you a second chance to find your way…

you take a step toward that path and brush all your fears away.

In the end, you begin to understand that life may not be perfect…

but it could be wonderful and so much more…

because now you know… what and who you are living for.

I don’t know if I will ever be whole again.