Woman’s Day Magazine asked me to participate in a story about breast cancer bloggers. I hope that you will read the article and that you will visit the four other breast cancer blogs that were included in the story.

It was really a great opportunity for me to spend some time reflecting on the experience of blogging about breast cancer. Goodness knows, I reflect on the breast cancer experience often enough– but reflecting on blogging about it?  Well, that’s a bit of a different twist.

By and large, writing this blog has been really good for me. But every so often, it just isn’t. And then I disappear for a while. Which is why I don’t typically think of myself as a good breast cancer blogger. Good bloggers don’t disappear for a while. That’s kind of the cardinal rule for blogging:  consistent posting.

Once, after kind of a lengthy absence from posting, I wrote a post about the unfortunate fact that sometimes breast cancer bloggers stop posting for tragic reasons.

But I think that breast cancer bloggers are probably willing to cut each other some slack. We understand that life is complicated and that we have an obligation to protect ourselves from stress whenever possible.

If there is one thing about my breast cancer blog that I am proud of it is this:  I have replied to every single email from a breast cancer survivor who has reached out to me.

Like it or not, pink is everywhere during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Everyone who has been impacted by breast cancer seems to have an opinion on the pink month. Some of us are quite conflicted about it. Why not bring the issue to your journal? After all, your journal is the perfect place for exploring conflicting emotions. Here are some prompts to get you started:

• How do you feel about Breast Cancer Awareness Month? Do you embrace the awareness activities or do you cringe over the constant reminders?

• How do you feel about all of the pink products that companies push in October?  Does it seem great that a portion of a product purchase will go toward the cause? Or does it smack of insincere marketing?

• Does breast cancer get too much attention from the media? Do you think that Breast Cancer Awareness Month is effective?

• Do you think that the media do a good job portraying and explaining the realities of breast cancer?

Recently, I introduced this prompt in a journaling workshop for breast cancer survivors and it really sparked a great discussion. Attention all you marketers out there: people are all over the place on this one.

My local newspaper runs an annual Breast Cancer Awareness supplement. I was interviewed for one of this years’ articles, “Dealing with Diagnosis.” The article profiled three women:  a woman who was diagnosed in 1999 at age 34, an 11 year survivor who is also the medical director of a local breast health center and yours truly. My part was about how journaling can help you through the process.

The article highlighted different approaches that people have to coping with a breast cancer diagnosis.  After all, just like there is not just one type of breast cancer there is certainly not just one way to cope with the disease.  It’s no surprise that different folks find solace through different means. But there seem to be some common steps on the path toward that sometimes elusive feeling-of- healing:  be proactive about your health, exercise, volunteer and share your story in some way.

The article is not online, so here is one of my quotes:

Survivor is a misunderstood word. It’s a useful word to describe a piece of my identity, but there is not some magical point of graduation.

When do you become a breast cancer survivor?  That’s a point that gets bandied about now and again. Is it the day of diagnosis? After treatment is completed? After you are cancer-free for X amount of time? Some people embrace the term and others seek distance from it.

As a self-proclaimed word nerd, I find this quite fascinating. Here is the National Cancer Institute definition of a survivor:  One who remains alive and continues to function during and after overcoming a serious hardship or life-threatening disease. In cancer, a person is considered to be a survivor from the time of diagnosis until the end of life.

For me, the five year mark isn’t too far away. I’m at 4 ½ years. What does that mean for me?

I think it means that I get to move from a once-every-six-months oncology visit to a once-a-year visit. But I don’t know that for sure. In October, I will have the chance to ask Mr. Oncologist.

I do not feel safe from recurrence but I do not worry about it regularly, either. When I hear about someone’s breast cancer recurring ten…fifteen years later my insides shudder. A shadow passes over me. Then I push it away.

Not because I have excellent coping skills, but because I have come to terms with the fact that worrying about recurrence is pointless. Except for taking care of myself, there is nothing else to do. There are no proactive steps to take or treatment decisions to make. I like the checklist to minimize the chances of recurrence offered by Life After Early Breast Cancer. It reminds me that finding time to exercise and trying to protect myself from stress is not selfish.

And if the beast returns some years from now, perhaps there will be new treatments available for me by then.

My youngest child is now almost 10. When I was diagnosed in March 2006 he was only in preschool. He’s still just a little guy who needs his mom, but at least I have passed an important threshold: he would remember me. That makes me feel good.

My quality of life is OK; I know lots of people who deal with more aches and pains and limitations than I do. My energy levels are normal and my hair long and thick. I am concerned about my bone density but I am researching the situation and I’m not (yet) in a panic about that.

Lots of people think that the five year mark is some magical moment when you can consider yourself to be “cured.” It is not. But daily dwelling on a someday-maybe event? I can’t. I don’t.

We are always trying to answer the question “What causes breast cancer?” Rightfully so, but I also like  the flip side question.  “What does breast cancer cause?”

Breast cancer causes career changes.

I’ve seen it over and over again.  There are so many women who make radical career changes after breast cancer — a few of them have been profiled on this blog (here and here for example).  And then there are also plenty of women who tweak their careers after the diagnosis.  And while I don’t find this too surprising  (if getting slammed with this disease doesn’t lead to a bit of introspection then what would?), I still find it  fascinating.

I’m in the process of completely revamping my career.  One of the blogs that I read regularly is Penelope Trunk’s career blog .    In a recent post, she noted the realization that “any career shift is about learning and exploring until you land in the right spot.”

I started out as a mechanical design engineer.  Then I went into the business development side of things, which in my little corner of the business world meant being a liaison between engineering and the customer, developing marketing strategies, and negotiating contracts.  Stuff like that.  And traveling.  Lots of traveling.

Then, for a myriad of reasons, I embraced the stay-at-home mom gig.  I never would have predicted that phase, but if you are reading this blog you probably have some connection to breast cancer and you know that life can be unpredictable.

While I was a full-time stay-at-home mom I did a little bit of freelance writing.  Not a lot, but it was enough to know that I don’t totally suck at writing.  Now that my kids are older I am building up my writing business with clients in health, wellness and engineering.  And I am teaching journaling workshops to all kinds of people:  cancer survivors, caregivers, people trying to quit smoking, people trying to figure out a career change.  I recently launched a new blog called Journaling with Jayne.

Last but not least, I have gone back to school to study Medical Device Product Development.  The lead story of a recent ASME magazine was called “Treating Cancer as a Mechanism.” Quoting from the article:  “Nanotechnology and nanoscale mechanical engineering may soon lead to a revolution in oncology.”  No kidding, I just about cried when I read that.  It brought home that I can put my engineering background to use in the fight against cancer.

So I’ve put myself on the path to somehow be a part of that revolution.  Studying nanotechnology, the FDA approval process, quality control procedures for medical device manufacturers, imaging technology…Lovin’ it.

Kathy McEvoy is coming up on her five-year Cancerversary. When she was diagnosed with early stage breast cancer in 2005, Kathy was a busy executive in corporate America. Today, she is the owner of Celebrate In Pink, a company that offers lovely partyware and stationery with a breast cancer theme. What I love about Kathy’s story is that her breast cancer journey has included a career change that makes her feel like she is on her true path. It’s so inspiring!

In June 2007, Kathy participated in a breast cancer walk in Washington, DC.  She had planned a luncheon for afterward so that she could relax and celebrate with her friends and family. She wanted to use paper goods with a pink ribbon theme, and was surprised to discover that none were available.

Kathy had the idea right away to design and offer partyware with a breast cancer theme. But like all good things, it took time to go from idea to reality. She quickly started working on the design process, and the company was officially incorporated one year after that  Aha!-moment-luncheon.

Kathy McEvoy

Now I want to share with you how I came to know of Kathy and Celebrate in Pink. It was through Twitter that I first “met” Kathy. I really liked what Kathy was doing with Celebrate in Pink, and I invited her to appear in a blog post. Through our email conversations, we discovered that we have at least one mutual breast-cancer-Survivor friend.

And why am I bothering you with this back story? Because if by chance you feel like you are going through breast alone, then I  want you to know that there are lots of us out here– some recently diagnosed, some many years out. And while we know that you didn’t want to join our club, I hope that  you can come to realize that you are part of an amazing, embracing, empowering community.

Kathy has offered this blog’s readers a discount coupon code.  Enter SAVEME10 at checkout and you will receive a 10 percent discount on your order. A portion of the company’s sales are donated to women in need of financial assistance who are undergoing breast cancer treatment.

For more info about Celebrate in Pink, LLC:

Website: CelebrateInPink.com

Twitter: @CelebrateInPink

Facebook.com/CelebrateInPink

Karla K. Morton (Photo credit: Walter Eagleton)

As promised, here is the second part of an interview with Karla K. Morton.  Her recent book, Redefining Beauty, is a book of poems that explores Karla’s breast cancer journey.

You are traveling around Texas as the 2010 Texas Poet Laureate, and you’ve come to be known as the Poet Warrior. Congratulations! What has that experience been like for you?

I do think that “survivor” should be replaced with “warrior.”  We all have our demons, no matter what they are, and this book shows us that we can take control, even if it’s just the smallest control — in prayer, or shaving our own heads and not letting our hair fall, or choosing to smile and joke and laugh when we’re going through this hell.  This is what being a warrior is all about.  We are all afraid, but we walk onto that battlefield anyway.

I have been having so much fun in my Little Town, Texas Tour — I don’t believe in coincidences.

When I first got the call naming me the 2010 Texas Poet Laureate, it was the exact date of my first cancer surgery nightmare a year before.  It was if God was saying, “Oh no, I’m not finished with you yet!”.

And I thought, okay how can I give back?

So I thought of the kids — I first learned about the title of Texas Poet Laureate when I was in school, and I remember thinking, “Wow.  If only I could be that person!”.  It inspired me in so many ways.  So, I thought  I would take it back to the kids.

I am traveling to schools and communities all across the state, and, for just an hour or two, poetry and the Arts are the center of attention.

Schools have no budget, and the only thing I ask of them is that they hold (and judge) a poetry and an art contest about their town.  Texas has such a sense of place about it, and I want to foster that in kids through the Arts.

Each town I visit, I am writing a poem about, and then choosing the kids’ winning poetry and/or artwork from each school — that way kids all across the state have a chance to be published!  And nothing inspires writers more than seeing their byline — their name and work in print!

Along the way, I am honoured to be a part of any place that would like me to come to speak or raise awareness or funds for the fight against cancer.  If I know of an oncology center, I like to leave a couple of books for their libraries, and for the schools’ libraries as well.  Cancer touches every one of us in one form or another.  I have attended events and fundraisers such as “Look Good, Feel Better,” Silver Spurs, church support groups, Ft. Worth Stockshow “Rodeo Goes Pink” and others.  Any chance I can, I love to support all these groups.

The landscape of Texas is present in a few of the poems. You bring the scalding Texas sun into “Radiation” and describe a delicious weekend in “Padre Island, Texas.”Are you a native Texan?

Oh, what a great question!

Absolutely!  I am a native Texan, and as Texans, that sense of place stays with us wherever we go.  It gives us immediate roots; a feeling that we are a part of something greater than ourselves.  I use this feeling in my work, drawing in the culture, the landscape, the people.  We are all, together, Texans.  We support and love our State and everyone in it!

The landscape is so freeing, and so diverse.  We have the thicket, the plains, the ocean, the hills, the prairies.  We have physical beauty at every turn.  In “Radiation,” the feeling is the sun.  It burns everything except these cactus succulents, who are nourished and healed by the sun.  During my own radiation treatments, I was so thankful for these plants of aloe vera.  They gave their own lives as they soothed and healed my burns.  Then the sun, in turn, would heal their wounds from me.  Also in that idea, was the radiation itself.  It scalded the skin around my wound, but ultimately brought healing effects to my body.

I am in love with Texas, and relate to this land in so many ways.  Traveling around on my Tour, I just can’t help but fall in love over and over and over again.  How could you stand on the edge of the Palo Duro Canyon and not know that God is there?

And last –but certainly not least—who are your favorite poets?

Wow, that’s a tough question because I have so many favourites!

I love everyone from Byron and Shelley, Pablo Neruda, Ed Hirsch, William Stafford, Wendy Barker, Naomi Shihab Nye to Dr. Seuss and Shel Silverstein.

Two of the poets who have influenced me most, I think, are both Texas Poets Laureates — Alan Birkelbach and Walt McDonald, and Walt is the one I reach for as a triggering point — when I feel a poem coming on, and want to bring it out.  Walt’s poems, many of which are set in West Texas, touch me deeply.  I also like his storytelling ways, which is my style as well.

The amazing thing about other poets is that I learn from all of them.  I am constantly discovering incredible writers!

Wow, I am so grateful to Karla for her time!

To learn more about Karla K. Morton, visit her website. Redefining Beauty is available from the publisher, major online booksellers, and it is in Texas bookstores.

A note of disclosure and thanks to the publisher , Dos Gatos Press, for providing me with a copy of the book.

Redefining Beauty by Karla K. Morton

I am thrilled to present an interview with Karla K. Morton, Poet Laureate of Texas, author of Redefining Beauty, and a self-described breast cancer warrior. This collection of more than forty poems explores Karla’s journey through breast cancer and is accompanied by striking, black-and-white photographs of a beautifully bald Karla.

When did you start writing the poems for this book?

Well, it took me several weeks to get over my shock.

In our amazing health-care system, I was able to go from diagnosis to lumpectomy surgery to port surgery to my first chemotherapy in three weeks.

It wasn’t until chemotherapy when I could breath again.  My friend, Margaret Chalfant, then told me there was no way fear and faith could exist in the same moment, and I began thinking about this, which led to my decision that I don’t have to be afraid, which unleashed my mind into fighting mode.

I began all sorts of armament, from cowboy boots, to cussing to writing.  And, it is in writing that I was able to get through this awful time.  I think it was that second chemo when I began this book — not realizing I was creating a manuscript, just writing to get myself beyond the fear.

It’s fear, I think, that is your worst enemy.

And my friend, photographer Walter Eagleton, who did the pictures for my first book, “Wee Cowrin’ Timorous Beastie”, wanted me to come into his studio for pictures when I was bald.  He wanted to document this time in my life.  Again, we had no idea we were creating a book, this was his gift to me — and what a beautiful gift!  (hey, and I was lucky enough to have a great head — you never know what kind of head you have until you have no hair!!!)

In one of my favorite poems, “The Other Side of the Storm,” you write that “my wounds have begun to heal” and that “the seas have finished thrashing.” I love the imagery in those lines, and I can certainly relate to those deep feelings. And yet, as breast cancer survivors, we have to deal with fears of recurrence. Has your writing helped you process and contain those fears?

Thank you for that!  I love to hear which poems touch people!

Well, I think living as a warrior is very much like living on the beach — a beautiful, magnificent beach.

Ah, what a glorious glorious life we lead, and we can drive ourselves crazy by wondering if another hurricane is going to strike tomorrow.

I believe God has my best interest in mind — He has given us all a life of beauty.

We have to live in the moment and believe, truly believe that all is well.

Next Up: Part 2 of the interview. Find out what it is like to travel around the state of Texas as the Poet Laureate who is also known as the Poet Warrior.

To learn more about Karla K. Morton, visit her website. Redefining Beauty is available from the publisher, major online booksellers, and it is in Texas bookstores.

A note of disclosure and thanks to the publisher , Dos Gatos Press, for providing me with a copy of the book.

Of late, this is the question that drives me. Because as long as I am doing stuff that only I can do then I think that I am on track. And this isn’t just about delegating or about learning to say “no” to the opportunities that float my way that turn out to only be appealing upon first blush. Let’s break it down.

Work

Only my husband and I can provide for ourselves and our children. That is work that only we can do. It is up to us to pay our bills and feed our kids. So work – regular work – gets a solid check mark. Actually, I am work-obsessed right now. But that’s another post entirely.

Volunteerism

I like to volunteer. I like to be involved in projects and sometimes I like to be in charge. Right now I am into face-time and only accept committee positions after very careful consideration.  Over the years, I have been a board member, an event chairperson, and a fundraiser chairperson many times over.

As far as being a parent volunteer, I want to do what gives me face time with my youngest son and his classmates. My other two boys are a lot older so I am down to one kid who likes to have his mom show up at school.  My son likes for me to be there and I like getting to know all of the little people that he spends time with. Therefore, once a month I help him and his classmates check out their library books. And once a month I sit with them, one-on-one, and help them review their multiplication tables. Sometimes I drive on field trips and help with classroom parties. With one exception (one fundraiser) I am not in charge of anything and I am not on any committees.

I also volunteer for several cancer-related organizations (currently a team captain for a fundraising walk, active in a support group, and speak one-on-one with newly diagnosed breast cancer patients)  and one professional organization (on one committee) so I think that has to be enough. But I like all of it– and I don’t want to give any of it up– so I guess that it is OK.

Working Out

Can’t delegate that one!

Truly Free Time

Free time is good for the soul. Reading, hanging out with friends, and going to the movies all rank high on my priority list so don’t get the wrong idea – I am SO not above relaxation and guilty pleasures. But I like to work on things, too. I want to work on organizing my photos and writing my family stories and I keep telling myself that this is work that only I can do (and it is…no one else could or would do this except me) and I still don’t get around to it. I used to do a lot of scrapbooking but I kind of lost interest once it became such an industry.  I used to do genealogy research but I think that I need to just focus on the memories and stories inside my head. After all, “anyone ” can pick up my genealogy where I left off. It’s just a research project. But no one can write my stories except me.

Helix of Joy

Each month, The Poster Cause Project has a limited release of a poster and donates 50 to 100 percent of the proceeds to a charity.

Twenty-five prints of “Helix of Joy” by Sket One were released on January 12, 2010 and 50 percent of the profits will benefit the National Breast Cancer Foundation.  Described as a “visual artist with an old school urban background,” Sket One is both a graffiti artist and toy designer.

The 11 × 17 posters sell for $25 and printed in full color on high quality 100# stock.

Good stuff!

I just bought one.