JC and ME

DISTRACTION!

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:33:00 +0000

Does anyone remember the sweet television show called distraction? It was a trivia game show where three contestants would have to answer questions while also being well "distracted"

For example to 'ring in' to answer a question one may have to pee to make their buzzer go off. sound disgusting? I think it's awesome. However I'm trailing away from my original thought.

It didn't take long for me to become distracted once school was out. I had a couple big things happen. First I moved into a new apartment, away from my old roomie and all by myself. This move has been exciting and enlightening at the same time. My only complaint is that even though I was looking for JC, looking for him all over, I never did find him during my move, and for that I am sorry because I was hoping to make a few badass post out of my move but instead, I got nothing.

Oh wells, there is always next time. JC up up and way!

Uplifting E-mail from my Father

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 19:11:00 +0000

No not 'the' father, but my father, Robert Danko. This man has done it all. Literally has lived off the land, cheated death numerous times, survived life endangering illness, served in the Army, been a photographer, moved around the country, had a family and now is still rockin' out each and every day. He along with my mother, who are still happily married after thirty years are my lifeline. Without them I would probably be dead due to lack of life experience. They have have put up with my irrational disregard for rules, and laws for that matter, while gritting their teeth and still loving me. (I hope!) The end result was they churned out at boy, currently 23 years old, about to finish his 5th year at university and embark on his 6th. I am forever thankful and grateful for their hard work and dedication. Ultimately my goal is to someday provide for them in the same why they did for me growing up. I digress.

I went home to visit this weekend because I had a rental car with infinity miles. I had a stellar time with mom mom and dad. They make life worth living, and i feel sorry for anyone who doesn't feel the same way about their parent's respectively. Upon returning to Columbus I had to go to work, and it wasn't until this afternoon that I had a free minute to check my e-mail. My father had sent me an email in his classic form, many thoughts, one long paragraph. Anyway, he had mentioned JC and ME so I wanted to pass on the tidbit to you my loving audience.

"I had another JC and ME experience...[your] Mom has an old,cheap,little "Infant of Prague" JC statue she found somewhere and it is the very same thing my folks gave me for a gift when I was 9 or 10. Kept it with me for years. Mine disintegrated in Texas and I hadn't thought about it till I saw this one and if it wasn't for your site/project it would have never crossed my mind. I think you are on to something kiddo. I'm looking for JC everywhere these days, and will be keeping my camera with me."

Go Dad.

I'll take a Philly cheese with a side of JC

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sun, 25 May 2008 20:39:00 +0000

Philadelphia is the 6th largest city in the United States with a population of 5.9 million. Being the first industrialized city in the United States was quite a feat, and can be seen in almost every part of the city.

One thing I did notice however is a lack of JC. The east coast attitude seems to be one of get out of MY way I'M busy. Quite selfish and cold. This could be the reason that JC ain't spilling out of the pores of city murals and statues.

A lot of artwork seems to be based on a few things; the industrialization of the city, African American influence, the liberty bell, and Ben Franklin. Take for example the picture to the left. Here I am looking out my hotey window at the Ben Franklin bridge to Camden, the most dangerous city in the United States. Even more crime ridden and scary than Detroit, the armpit of Michigan.

It seems that JC pops up everywhere, but this weekend has been in hiding. I'll keep my eyes peeled as I rage the last concert here tonight, Lotus headlines then it's early to bed, early to rise, fly back to Columbus. Maybe I'll see JC on the plane ride home, maybe he'll sit next to me so I can repent.

Artist Statement

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:08:00 +0000

One very human response to serious and dire situations is humor. By using humor we are able to lighten our fears and burdens in our hearts with laughter. Laughter is the best medicine, or so I've been told. Laughter's cousin, the smile is just as important, and it's amazing how pointing a camera at someone makes them smile.

The dire situation that is the state of our world today is very sad and depressing. Children are starving, wars are being fought, and morality has plunged especially in the Catholic church. So what are we to do with all this negative input, how can anyone be happy when so many horrors are taking place, now. Now. And Right now.

JC and ME is an alternative approach to the negativity being fed to us by traditional media outlets. JC and ME flip-flips the negative and puts a positive, humorous spin on the role religion, and specifically Jesus, plays in our society. I feel people should smile when they are confronted with Jesus rather than to fall into a religious stupor. This is why I propose to take pictures of myself with Jesus, this makes me smile, and I want others to feel this same joy by conducting their own photo shoots with JC.

Get serious, get JC and ME.

Thou Shall Not Covet Your Neighbor's Wife

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Tue, 20 May 2008 21:02:00 +0000

Okay, so the ninth commandment states that you shall not covet your neighbor's wife. Pretty simple, if she's married, do not make an attempt to brake the sacred bond of marriage. At least that is what I would consider those words to mean in today's society. Apparently that is not so. If I were to look at a married woman with lust in my eye I have already committed adultery. Holy shit. That's a little harsh, no? I've met some hot wifes while spending the last 5 years of my life as a server at country clubs. Lots of botox and silicone, you might think you were in Cali if you didn't know any better. However I digress from my point.

The commandment says neighbor's wife, nothing is mentioned about fiance. Now more than ever marriage is a option that often ends in years of misery before a divorce finally sets free the two trapped parties. And that's what marriage is after all, a trap, just one you are comfortable being caught in. So in the event of a proposed marriage, one that has yet been made legal, is it (let's not use the word sin, i hate thinking petty things are sins) wrong to desire your neighbor's fiance? After all that sacred bond has yet to be made and perhaps this is just how the cards of life fall.

It's like making that full court buzzer beater to win the championship game, you have to make the most of the time you have. I know I will. Will You?

Chocolate Jesus Part Deux

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sun, 18 May 2008 17:34:00 +0000

I find it most difficult to concentrate during the warm spring months. The air is nice and cool while the sun is mellow and warm. It makes for a combination of lazy days and wild nights. Factor into this school work and you can see the equation does not add up properly. While trying to find the delicate balance between end of the quarter work and some nice R and R I figured I would elaborate on Chocolate Jesus a little bit more. For example; did you know that one nude Chocolate Jesus sculpture contains 485,000 odd calories? If you are like most Americans and stick to a strict 2000 calories a day one Chocolate Jesus would be enough to sustain you for 242 days. That's like almost a year. kinda.

This is a book. Chocolate Jesus by Stephan Jaramillo. I couldn't find like an official webpage or anything, but he's basically a dude, who has written three books. Going Postal, The Scoundrel, and Chocolate Jesus. Chocolate Jesus is a story about Wilbur Bea, the son of Mrs. Bea who built a candy empire from the ground up. Wilbur has been appointed CEO or some shit, but as long as his mother is still alive he is second in command. Anyway he enjoys hookers and booze and living frivolously. I imagine somewhere Jesus candy is made from chocolate, but the Amazon.com preview only spanned 8 pages.

Emaculate Confection

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:22:00 +0000

Here I thought I'd google Chocolate Jesus and see what fun I could have; two hours later I've only gotten to YouTube.com and I have to leave for class. Here are a few gems I found, and I'll probably post more later on this evening.

JC and ME Photoshoot Number 3

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Fri, 09 May 2008 21:42:00 +0000

Every now and then one stumbles upon greatness by accident. This is no exception. I got invited to a playboy party in the east residential area just off campus. It was a little cold and rainy that night but despite the weather I ventured off to what I hoped would be at least an evening full of scantly clad bunnies running around doing jell-o shots and maybe a pillow fight? I wasn't too sure but remained optimistic as I walked up the twenty or so steps that led to the house occupied by 8 women in their early 20's. I had a 6-pack of Newcastle Brown Ale in tote because I won't lie, when I do decide to hit of a college party the beer selection makes me want to vomit. I digress.

I walked in, and just like any college party the kids were lined up to play a disease sharing game called beer pong. The whole idea behind this game is that when it is your turn to play you fill up 10 used plastic cups with a small amount of beer in each. Apparently 2 beers is the normal to fill up the 10 cups to the desired level. They then proceed to throw ping pong balls on the disgusting floor, returned by spectators then "sanitized" in cups of water that everyone who plays dips their unwashed hands into. It's quite disgusting and refuse to play personally. Navigating the bodies I made my way to the back deck where I was greeted by a bunny named Katie and to my surprise, trying to get his mack on was JC himself! I knew it was him instantly, this robe, beard, and most of all the NATTY LIGHT gave him away. I insisted on a few pictures and JC obliged. What a nice guy! I asked him if he could turn the natty into something better to which he replied, "Don't concern yourself with that, let's smoke this spliff that Tupac gave me before I left Heaven."

JC gots the hookup! signed!

JC Got Me on the Oval

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Wed, 07 May 2008 16:54:00 +0000

Would you like to get to know God personally? This is a concept that Christians often preach to others. The idea is that as people we never can reach God, he's just too far up there, but this is why Jesus was sent to earth, to be a connection between God and the people. So realistically a personal relationship with God is not possible via the protocol previously mentioned.

Yesterday I was sitting on a bench on the oval just outside of Hopkins and Hayes halls. I was approached by two young guys, one with a beard and some needed to shave stubble, and one that was schlepping a backpack. As they walked up to me all I could think about was being at a festival, and seeing these two guys approach offering hash, or LSD, instead they offered their drug of choice, JHC.

Now I must give it up to these guys, they just wanted to have a conversation, and were pretty low key on the preachy stuff. They handed me a stack of pictures and asked me questions like which pictures represent your current state of life? which pictures represent your relationship with God? etc. etc. I answered and we had a wonderful conversation about God, Jesus, life, spirituality, conflict, and economics. All and all these guys were just high oh JHC and were walking around talking to strangers.

Anyway, they were members of campus crusade for Christ at OSU, so I figured if JC took the time to have them come to me, the least I can do is raise awareness of their cause weather or not I support it.

CCFC @ OSU Events:

May 8 - Are Christians Hypocrites?

May 15th - Are Christians Anti-Gay?

May 22nd - Are Christians Judgmental?

(All events are located in Independence Hall @ 8:00pm)

Fear Mongering

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Mon, 05 May 2008 15:08:00 +0000

Perusing the fine internets today I came across a site that I can't figure out how I ever missed. GodTube.com This literal slice of interweb heaven yielded a gem when I watched the first video I found. I think the title is called "what if?" but is should be called "Fear Drives Religion."

If anyone finds any special videos on there I encourage you to share them on this blog.

Mentioned Again on E-Mails from Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sat, 03 May 2008 03:38:00 +0000

After making a post about Gay Jesus here on the blog, I made a comment on a post at E-mails from Jesus only to have them turn my comment and link into another front page post. I guess with JC by my side this blog will become a success.

I really want everyone to take a humorous look at this 2000 year old figure which still dominates the lives of millions of people, because without noticing the humor in it, we realize how fucking scary this whole religion thing really is.

Pregnant Woman Sees Jesus Image in Ultrasound

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Fri, 02 May 2008 02:15:00 +0000

When an Ohio woman looked at an ultrasound she expected to see a developing fetus. Instead, she saw what she believes to be an image of Jesus Christ.

Monet Sledge, from Lorain, Ohio, got an ultrasound in preparation for her first baby and was shocked when she saw what appeared to be an image of Christ on the Cross. MORE.

So I guess this is the ultimate JC and ME ever.

OMEN'D

Repenting Made Easy

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 20:13:00 +0000

Have you sinned? Do you need to tell someone, anyone, GOD? Try iGod, Repenting Made Easy.

I asked if God was on drugs and he replied, "No, I'm on disk." o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o!

Jesus Answers Prayers

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:51:00 +0000

I was at home a few nights ago praying for success with my BFA review when I decided to toss in a little add for JC-and-ME during my prayer session. Apparently the BFA outcome is still up in the air, bu JC himself commented back on the advertisement I stuck in my last prayer session.

From http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/2008/04/what_the_cluck.html

What the cluck?

[You already know this] but I run a little blog called JC and ME located at http://jc-and-me.blogspot.com

I was wondering if you had been there Jesus, and am I doomed to an eternity of hellfire, or will I be up there with your father and Colonel Sanders eating popcorn chicken?

Please, pray for my soul Jesus.

Tim

Dear child,

I'm happy to see you've finally accepted those voices in your head as me. I have indeed visited your site and that banner looks nothing like me.

So while you're welcome here, you'll have to room with the Colonel. Don't mind the hundreds of peckers. Just don't sleep with your mouth open.

All my love,
JHC

Posted by Jesus H. Christ on April 24, 2008 9:53 PM

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:37:00 +0000

Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter was a movie released in 2001 tagged under, Action, Comedy, Horror, and my personal favorite, Musical. The slogan is also a doozie. "The first testament says "an eye for an eye." - The second testament says "love thy neighbor." - The third testament ... Kicks Ass!!!"

Okay, well I really don't have many more adjectives to describe this little slice of cinematic heaven, so check out the official trailer I scored off youtube.com if I have begun to peak your interest.

Gay Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 18:16:00 +0000

Pictures depicting Jesus being fondled and the Apostles groping each other have caused outrage after they were displayed in a museum attached to Vienna's Roman Catholic Cathedral.

The museum has been forced to remove the most controversial picture, in which the Apostles engage in what the artist describes as a "homosexual orgy".

The exhibition, entitled "Religion, Flesh and Power" featured works from sculptor and artist Alfred Hrdlicka, who turned 80 this year and is widely feted in his native Austria. MORE.

Basically what has happened here is that over time the human race has become more tolerant of those who are different from oneself. Black Jesus is accepted and celebrated. This is apparent in the artwork, and the marketing of toys, etc. Some sparks flew when the female Jesus hit the streets, and one might conclude this is because although women are equal to men in today's society, certain aspects such as high ranking jobs, and larger salary pay are still not equal in the business world. Only very recently has the homosexual community been able to embrace and celebrate who they are without undue ridicule and harassment. This is a good step forward for the gay community, however they are leaps and bounds behind the progress that the women's rights movement took, and the liberation of African American's after the horror that was the American slave trade. There seems to be a direct correlation between public acceptance of minorities and the images depicted of Jesus. At least that is what I am able to conclude from the JC research I have conducted thus far.

JC Spotted, uh, um, uh.

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 02:37:00 +0000

I about lost control of my pee when my roommate pointed me to this picture. Now that's JC spotted in the least likely of places.

Threat Level Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 21:00:00 +0000

Well this was just too sweet to not post. The website http://www.threatalertjesus.com/ claims their invention, receives a signal from the Department of Homeland Security and illuminates Jesus's Halo to the proper color. At the time of this post we were threat level yellow, or elevated, shown by JC's yellow halo. I want one, and at just $19.95 it seems like a steal.

Fun JC Links

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 21:46:00 +0000

Before I make the next photo shoot post, well I need to take some pictures. Since I have yet to do that I wanted to pass along some fun Jesus Links I've found. All of these links will apper in the Internet + Jesus Links section to the right.

http://www.jesusdressup.com/ -- Um, dress up a crucified Jesus in Wizard of Oz clothing. I'm sure there is a joke in there somewhere but I don't want to get stuck by lightning on this sunny spring afternoon.

http://www.itsjesuslol.com/ -- Odd hand drawn Jesus pictures with funny captions added to them. Hit refresh/reload to see a new picture.

http://www.winkingjesus.com/ -- Winking Jesus. I guess this was some sort of internet hit I missed out on some years ago. JC didn't wink for me, and both response buttons are just add links.

http://loljesus.com/ -- LoLJesus.com does all the things I'm afraid to. Horribly offensive content within!

http://www.jesusswimming.com/ -- A calm flash of Jesus swimming and swimming and swimming.

http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/ -- I always knew he was. I hear he's voting for Obama too.

http://www.atheists-for-jesus.com/ -- A social networking site designed to bring together both believers and non-believers for stimulating conversation about Jesus.

http://rescuingjesus.org/ -- The blog and podcasts associated with the Atheists for Jesus website.

http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/ -- E-mail either Jesus or Satin and they may write back on their joint blog.

JC meets JayZ

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:02:00 +0000

Okay so when I was doing the previous post I wanted to think up something clever for the next time. Being a fan of Hova I realized that JC and JayZ rhymed. With a certain nonchalance I figured I'd make someone laugh when they read the title, and I would photoshop some sweet pics of JC and JayZ. I first found http://www.jesusandjigga.com, however the page seems to no longer be functional. My next stop was to Henry's Rap/Hip-Hop blog which had the following tidbit of information....

It appears that people have been taking Jay-Z's self-annointment as God MC way too seriously. In what is sure to set christians off, a new book and an accompanying website seek to marry the worlds of Jesus and Jay-Z (Hova, if you will). The website, JesusandJigga.com, claims that the book is "for anyone who is searching for a way to understand biblical applications outside of the four walls of a church."

"This isn’t my idea. It’s what Christ commands us to do," says the author Eric J. Dolce. "I think that one of the main problems Christians have had is that we have viewed many of the popular stars in film, music, tv, etc. as the enemy," he adds.

Cool. Go Hova.

Well naturally I fine tuned my search terms for Jesus and JayZ, Hova, etc. and I was surprised as to what I found. Rolling Stone Magazine had an online link from 2006 about a preacher accusing JayZ of Devil worship. The YouTube video embedded on that page no longer works, however I found a working video below....

Naturally I was a little skeptical that such a chiseled entrepreneur such as JayZ would put so much on the line by saying murder murder jeeesus in one of his songs. Apparently I wasn't the only one to not believe the preacher man. Some message board lurking yielded the information that the song was Lucifer off the Grey Album.

BOOM. The preacher man may be right that it is Hova's voice, but the Grey album was a DJ Danger Mouse remix. Or DJ sampled Hova saying the words six, six, six, murder, murder, and Jesus. He then made an interlude track and played the vocal sample back words.

Upon further research in the .nfo file that came with the Grey album it states for track 11....

11. "Lucifer 9 (Interlude)" � 2:01 (Reveals a satanic message if played backwards.)
* Samples "Revolution 9" and "I'm So Tired"; Also, "Ave, Lucifer" by Os Mutantes

The Satanic Message is the one in the Youtube video and if you are like me, and still skeptical, here is the section of the song that contains the message that I personally reversed.

If the above embed is not working you can download the .mp3 I made.

I think that any bad wrap that Hova has taken because of this is unjust, if anyone, it is DJ Danger Mouse that should take the heat on this one. Signed!

Next time:
JC and ME photo shoot #3

JC and ME Feedback

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:45:00 +0000

I said feedback but I was just being nice. I meant propaganda. So this random stranger, Rebeca Topacio (no contact given) took the time to protest my adventure here by e-mailing me a super duper sweet power point presentation from like 1993. Fear not however, the message is still the same....it's hasn't progressed in over 2000 years.

Next time:
JC meets JayZ

Female Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 18:15:00 +0000

When searching for information about Female Jesus I came across this book. Sounds like a good bedtime read, no?

Jesus Is Female
Moravians and Radical Religion in Early America
Aaron Spencer Fogleman

Apparently this group of individuals, the Moravians, allowed women to hold the same roles in the church that men do, and they also believed that Jesus was female. This basically pissed off the Protestant establishment and havoc was the result. Interested in more? You can order the book.

Some feel that just representing Jesus as a female is wrong. Here Jesus is shown on a cross wearing booty shorts and is topless exposing her rack. From what I understand in Australia...... (.au right?)

"A local theatre company had angered Christians in the lead-up to Easter by portraying Jesus as a semi-naked woman on the cross. Happy Dagger Theatre’s production of The York Crucifixion tells the story of the four soldiers who crucify Christ, but female actor Renee McIntosh has been cast in the role of Jesus." (From http://blogs.thewest.com.au/)

I never knew that people would get all bent out of shape by giving JC inside parts instead of outside ones. I suppose tradition resists change, and religion is tradition. Change is progressive, so I ask, what has the church done that is progressive lately?

Next time:
Some Feedback

Self Promotion

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 02:30:00 +0000

I decided to give myself a promotion to supreme ruler of San Margherita, the little Italian neighborhood that I currently live in. Just don't let the Mob know. The other bit of self promotion I wanted to do was for my upcoming Bachelor of Fine Arts review here at the Ohio State University. I am applying to the Art and Technology program with hopes of graduating in the next year with my BFA. This review basically determines my future at Ohio State, but despite this fact I have tried to remain calm and prepared. My review is April 25th and I'm going through my portfolio review website with a fine tooth comb. Let me know what you think.

Next time:
Female JC fo sho.

In the Spirit of the Season

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:29:00 +0000

When I first started this blog I did some serious Jesus picture research and thought I had seen damn near all Google images had to offer. I completely forgot about the stoner's of the interwebs with their bongs in hand thinking of clever things to add marijuana too.

In a holiday celebration I realized the link Hope sent me was just in time for 4/20. Since I'm no longer a freshman in high school I didn't even realize this until well into the afternoon. I again became pumped about making a new post about JC to the 420, and putting off the female Jesus thing even longer was just an added bonus.

Searching Google images I found a sweet WWJS picture I just had to share with everyone. I stole this picture from Clint's blog.

Next time:
ASL? 14/F/Heaven

Jesus Downloads MP3's

noreply@blogger.com (Timothy S. Danko) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:28:00 +0000

Well I was up at Scarlet and Grey Cafe tonight to see EOTO perform. I ran into a bunch of my friends and danced my ass off. It was a great time.

Upon returning to my apartment I perused my comments in a narcissistic manner and noticed my friend Missy left a fabulous link that made me literally LoL.

Did you all see that? This is totally for real and totally legit. The website (http://www.crossmp3player.com/) claims the following:

"Listen To Bible Audio ... Enjoy Your Music ... Display Your Faith Anytime and Any Place With A Cross Shaped MP3 Player."

Holy smokes it's also preloaded with a sweet 17 hours that encompasses the entire New Testament! Can you say marathon? I wonder how angry people would get if somehow an entire shipment of cross mp3 players went out loaded with Marilyn Manson by "accident."

Next time:
Female Jesus!