Jessica D'Amico's Blog

snowy steps

2012-01-20T19:25:00.001-06:00

snowy steps,
originally uploaded by jeda21.

It took me three hours to drive 17.9 miles from work to home this afternoon. It's only snow. It's pretty. It sparkles.

Moon and purple skies

2012-01-20T19:23:00.003-06:00

Moon and purple skies,
originally uploaded by jeda21.

Horse and late afternoon light

2012-01-20T19:23:00.001-06:00

Horse and late afternoon light,
originally uploaded by jeda21.

Favorite Quote of the Day

2012-01-20T11:05:00.003-06:00

"The tree which moves some to tears of joy is in the eyes of others only a green thing that stands in the way. Some see nature all ridicule and deformity ... and some scarce see nature at all. But to the eyes of the man of imagination, nature is imagination itself." ~William Blake

Say No to SOPA

2012-01-18T08:04:00.000-06:00

Check out the post on my Computing and Interwebs Blog: Say No to SOPA

A New Age for Me

2012-01-15T10:03:00.001-06:00

Once considered hippy territory, new age has now fallen under the more politically correct--and sometimes (but not often enough) respected--earth-centered religion...but a rose by any other name is still a rose ^^

My passion for occult and scary anime as a toddler, later blossomed into an interest in horoscopes, numerology, and tarot. My parents were creeped out by how peaceful and joyful I became whenever I was watching my weird tv programs as I grew up. They tried to ignore their fears that I might become a serial killer or psycho.

In my teens, I began reading books on mysterious and occult topics, my all time favorite, hands down, was and still is The Very Scary Almanac (1993). I devoted all spare time to reruns of In Search of, Night Gallery, The Hitchhiker, Tales from the Crypt, Friday the 13th The Series, and Tales from the Darkside--even a little Outer Limits. Well, the list goes on.

There were also new shows, like Sightings, and tons of UFO and haunting themed programs--don't get me started on how important the SciFi (now SyFy) network launch was to me, or how relevant the X-Files became for me in the 90s. But there were quite a few duds in the bunch...anyone else remember the alien autopsy fiasco?

I've always had a sense of dejavu when going to certain places which I dreamt of before, sometimes years before! The flashback to a dream and the sensation are quite unnerving sometimes. Other times, my mom and I have had the same sensation while something is happening or we're in a new place together, sometimes very old places, and we look at each other in understanding. My mom has always been sensitive to the atmosphere in particular places.

In recent years I've expanded my reading to more factual resources--notwithstanding the first step in any research I conduct, which is Wikipedia--and interestingly enough, have been incredibly drawn towards green (sometimes called hedge) witchcraft. I enjoy the combination of homey cooking and recipes, natural healing oils and balms, and the union and respect between the individual and the environment s/he is in.

I learned of a local earth-religion based shop in our vicinity and have made it a growing habit to visit, especially for their workshops or fairs. They have great metaphysical workshops, a gorgeous little gift shop stocked with handmade goodies from local artists and practitioners, and a crystal themed tea room. I'm currently learning about runes there. The set I won in 2009 hasn't really been brought out since, and you really must build a connection and understanding of your tools if you are to journey together.

I think my yoga practice over the last 9 months has had something to do with this recovered interest in deepening my spiritual research and reading.

Seemingly at odds ^^; I've started going to a nearby progressive church. My first event was their annual winter solstice candle vigil. I'm telling you, I've never been in a room of people who are so peaceful and happy to be in each other's company. That's what I call a reenergizing and healing experience. That experience was the main reason I decided to continue being active there. I hear they have an earth-centered religion group that hosts outdoor events in warm weather seasons. I can't wait!

Two of my personal goals for 2012 include educating myself in areas that inspire and ignite my inner fire/passion, and bringing/welcoming fellowship and friendship in my life. I think I'm on the right path on these two goals with this church. I'm thoroughly enjoying this new year's journey.

Cheers to learning and new friends!

A Winter Day's Art Meanderings

2012-01-14T18:45:00.001-06:00

Got a chance to check out North Central College's Schoenherr Gallery at last, after a long time.

The current exhibit, Vantage Point, was a lovely collection of watercolors, graphite sketches, and giclee prints.

Barry Skurkis drawings of ocean mammals and penguins superimposed on a space view of earth or the moon were amazingly rich in hue and vibrancy. I particularly liked the ocean turtle, of course, since I love turtles.

Justin Aram's work had a great comic strip look to it, but with very rich colors. It reminded me a little of the animation series that spinned off of the Dexter television show.

Micah Farritor's drawings fascinated me, as they reminded me of a number of works shown on MTV's old Liquid Television. There is a touch of moodiness and eeriness to his scenes, but the detail and texture make you peek in closer to absorb all the details.

Adam Henske's work reminded me of tattoo art, tokidoki, and skater tee shirts. I loved the urban and modern feel to the decaying popular art/culture characters. His use of color or shadows and blacks create vivid work that would look great on a tee shirt or iPad cover, or just as well on the walls of a gallery.

Kevin O'Brien had some really nice views of Chicago in a realistic but a little naif approach. I really enjoyed the landscape viewing North Michigan Avenue from the Gold Coast, and the Wrigley Field crowd scene. It must have been a nice switch for him to capture compact and busy urban scenes and landscapes, compared to the gorgeous and expansive sights of Wyoming, where he opened a gallery.

I missed going to Schoenherr, so I'll be glad to keep abreast of North Central College's upcoming exhibits and sparing a few minutes to check them out.

Reservoir-Flooded Villages of the Catskills

2012-01-12T12:06:00.001-06:00

As I was commuting to work this morning, a story on NPR (In Russia, Modern 'Revolution' Comes At Its Own Pace) captured my imagination. The detail that caught my attention is as follows:

"In 1941, Soviet dictator Josef Stalin carried out his plan to build a reservoir along the Volga River. Thousands of people were ordered to move their homes or face being submerged."

Can you imagine having to move an entire village or city, because the area it was in, needed to be flooded for a reservoir? Your ancestral home, probably built with your great-grandfather's very own hands, and those of his friends and family? All your earthly possessions? The china/silver/wedding dress/knickknacks that your family's been passing down, generation to generation? Harsh!

This brought back to mind 1) the Chernobyl disaster, and 2) Zorin's master scheme in A View to a Kill *obscure movie reference* But in a serious vein, I did a little research online and learned that the world has a long history of flooding for reservoir development (Real Drowned Towns). As a matter of fact, I recall a news article a few years ago about this happening in China (What cost as China tames mother river?).

New York state is an excellent example. Not to diss NY, rather, it is one of the urban centers that has the most lessons to teach us about urban space and systems. As it so happens with so many other topics, NY state has an interesting history when it comes to reservoirs.

Apparently, the Catskills Mountains reservoirs project back in the early 1900s caused a number of small villages to be submerged, for the good of the masses down in NYC. There is a neat website in memorial to the flooded cities and villages, called "A memorial to the towns that were sacrificed for New York City" -- a little dramatic perhaps, but nonetheless factual. The reservoirs helped, and still help, NYC support the water needs of over 8 million residents.

The New York reservoirs include the Catskills Mountains reservoirs, the Delaware reservoirs, and the Croton system (more here "Hudson Valley Reservoirs"). That is an amazing feat of engineering and manipulation of natural resources. Which reminds me of the Hoover Dam.

So, all of this reading got me thinking: is there anyone out there who did an underwater photographic survey of the flooded villages, to determine and document any remaining structures? Kind of a la Robert Mallard's RMS Titanic expeditions?

I need to explore and research more about this topic, but this would make for a fantastic photography or even thesis project for someone. Meanwhile, I'll keep checking this Scubaboard.com bulletin board.

Resources:

Deepwater DVD: the True Story of the Ashokan Reservoir
Books on drowned towns (fiction, noir/crime, real drowned towns)

New Favorite Artist: Martina Nehrling

2012-01-12T08:42:00.005-06:00

photo of artwork by Martina Nehrling from Really...WTF

I was reading a new favorite blog, Really...WTF, and discovered a new favorite artist, Martina Nehrling.

Martina is a Chicago-based artist that likes to capture the chaotic whirlwind of day-to-day life using an amazing, Van Gogh type of style. She uses short lines one next to each other, sometimes outlined in a complementing color, to create patterns, shapes, and textures in her paintings.

The best way, and my first gut reaction at seeing her work, is that Martina's paintings are what would happen if Missoni created paintings.

photo of artwork by Martina Nehrling from Really...WTF

I love the texture, the complexity, the vibrant colors, the movement, and the...dimension--initial simplicity until you approach a piece to inspect it more closely.

Love, love. Thank you.

Favorite Quote of the Day

2012-01-05T13:06:00.005-06:00

One of my favorite blogs, Pasasge des Perles, today had a most excellent post (God bless the lonely people) on loneliness and our perception of the term, and of lonely people. Here is the quote she closes with, along with her suggestion we read a related NY Times article (The Joy of Quiet).

“ Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. An intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best you'll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way.” - Janet Fitch, White Oleander

Quote of the Day

2012-01-01T22:31:00.002-06:00

"When you cease to fear your solitude, a new creativity awakens in you. Your forgotten or neglected wealth begins to reveal itself. You come home to yourself and learn to rest within. Thoughts are our inner senses. Infused with silence and solitude, they bring out the mystery of inner landscape."
- Anam Cara, p. 17, John O'Donohue.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-01T21:20:00.003-06:00

Did you have a good passing of the old year into the new year? Did you make plans already for the new year? Any resolutions?

Let's keep our chins up, shoulders back, and wind in our hair. Let's make this year the best one yet.

Cheers! ^^

Gavin DeGraw - Not Over You

2011-12-30T21:21:00.000-06:00

This song reminded me of my grandmas when I was listening it today on the way to the gas station--of all places. I'm taking it one day at a time. Some times it's easier than others.

Favorite Photos of 2011

2011-12-30T11:43:00.004-06:00

Here's a slideshow of my favorite photos of 2011 from my Flickr collection.

I picked my top favorites, even if the quality may not always be as good as I'd like, the sense of the moment was strong and needed capturing.

Looking through them I regain a sense of what the year was like. This was one of the hardest years yet for me, because I lost two people who were close to me. I'm hoping 2012 will be gentler on me.

Ain't Aurora Pretty?

2011-12-29T20:05:00.001-06:00

Downtown Aurora IL Sunset,
originally uploaded by jeda21.

Sunset view of the Aurora IL skyline and the fox river, from the US Post Office on Broadway.

Self Improvement Via Bookkeeping

2011-12-29T08:55:00.001-06:00

A couple of weeks ago I signed up for an accounting for non-financial people seminar for late February. I'm planning on making 2012 the most financially precise year I've had to date, both personally and professionally.

Photo: Kirktaxconsultant on Flickr

What on earth do I mean by "financially precise?" Well, I have been increasingly diligent in maintaining good personal budgeting and financial records over 2011. I want to make sure 2012 is even more so.

Practicing good personal financial "hygiene" translates well to your organizational and budgeting skills at work.

Having already taken at least three accounting classes in my long school-going history, and hating every minute of it, the seminar I signed up for will serve as a much-needed refresher of the guidelines behind correct bookkeeping and budgeting.

To help give me a little advantage, ahead of the seminar, I've searched online and found a great tutorial (Learn Accounting & Bookkeeping for Free) website. I'm only on the first intro page, but I'm loving it! The person who wrote this seems to have a knack for instructing others clearly. I'm enthused and ready to get at the meat! Let's see how long I can keep this up for ^^;

I can be a little anal about the discomfort I feel at realizing I have a weakness. However, this propels me forward into better acquainting myself with the subject matter.

I wish programming was so easy to get into, because, by now, I'd already know how to program! Well, maybe one day ;o)

DJ Earmworm 2011 Mashup

2011-12-27T15:05:00.001-06:00

Antiquing We Will Go

2011-12-27T14:48:00.000-06:00

On Christmas eve a friend and I went to Berwyn, IL to try our luck at a little antique shop that had advertised on Amazon Local.

We arrived at Exquisite Revisit (my Yelp review) just after lunch time, and entered to see what we could find. After a little perusing, past souvenir and antique/vintage glassware and table ware, and girdles (!), I finally spotted some Fiestaware jackpot items. I immediately grabbed a turquoise plate, a peachy small bowl, and then asked the nice owner lady to take down a yellow bowl from up on high. I was able to get the yellow bowl reduced because we may not know if it is really Fiesta, as it lacked the usual labeling on the bottom. All together, I spent just over $27 for three great pieces for my collection. I was especially happy with the turquoise plate because it goes with a small saucer I bought when I was in college, and the small peachy bowl was a design I was trying to find for ages.

The owner let us know she has a display at a nearby antique emporium in Forest Park, and that there would be plenty of restaurants there to try our luck for lunch. So we headed there next.

We arrived at the Forest Park Emporium (my Yelp review) with gurgling stomachs, but decided to press on after we found a great Sushi and Thai restaurant across the street, next door to a classic bakery and coffee shop. The Emporium had an amazing array of dishes and settings, as well as apparel, furniture, books and magazines, and toys. It's definitely a grand collection of various antique specialists. We decided to go eat, but when we got back to the Emporium they had closed for the day. I was a little sad, but their prices on some items led me to believe they were overpricing a little. For example, there was a Fiesta green mixing bowl that caught my eye, but that I put back on the shelf immediately upon seeing the price. It was probably part of a nesting set and it was being priced exorbitantly.

On our way back home we took a detour to visit Naperville's Affordable Antiques & More, where I found a great drawer dresser for my bedroom, that I may need to revisit soon and finalize whether I want it or not. Their odds and ends sale room is a spectacular treasure trove of excellently priced items. There's a lovely kitchen table and chairs that I keep giving a thought to, but that I'm afraid I won't be getting in the end. They also have a ton of recent fiesta pieces in this room. The space in this store can be considered cluttered by some, but to me it s invitingly arranged. There are many excellent pieces of vintage and antique furniture, as well as jewelry and a little bit of apparel here and there.

More recently, I happened on a little antique shop when I was least expecting it as I drove back home from Harner's in North Aurora. The little but amazingly well stocked Past and Present Shoppe is another store which features displays of collectibles and vintage items from other sellers. I found a spectacular, vintage and repainted white three-drawer dresser for my kitchen. I didn't like the drawer pulls (green and white and a little crazy) so I asked and was able to obtain a considerable discount on the piece. Best of all, once the drawers were taken off, it was a breeze to place in my car's cargo area. The piece turned out to be much more solid than anticipated, as it is solid wood. One of the best features are the outward tilting legs. I'm now on the search for some decent drawer pulls, but I may very well end up making my own if I don't find any at a good price point. I don't really want the cost of the new pulls to exceed the discount I got on the piece. We'll see what I can pull together.

So now, of course, I'm planning on listing a variety of antique shops in my area and making pilgrimages to each in a very near future. I think this is an excellent way to spend chilly winter weekends, and I know that I won't spend a cent unless I really find something that moves me. This is a great hobby all of a sudden ^^ but I will need to start taking a ton of photos to go along with my posts, as just writing about my discoveries isn't as helpful as seeing things visually. Will snap to action, if you will ^^;

Cheers and happy antiquing!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2011-12-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

May you find ways to smile, do good to others, and find joy in the small things this season, and all year round. May your heart feel like it's bursting at the seams with unadulterated giddiness. May you eat delicious delicacies.

And above all much success, health, and fabulous discoveries and adventures to you and yours in the year to come.

Remembering: When You Shouldn't Be a Teacher

2011-12-24T07:38:00.005-06:00

In my career as a student, I have seen too many instances when people that had absolutely no business being a teacher, or in a leadership position dealing with children, do harm with or without intending to. Some of those instances were traumatic for the victims, and those who had to witness them.

When I was in first grade our teacher, maestra Monica, back in 1981-ish, used to employ a particularly dreadful technique, directly associated with a reading and analytical thinking exercise. She used to cause a lot of psychological pain on the students by humiliating them when they made a mistake.

At a chosen time in class she would flip the blackboard over and reveal the paragraph exercise. She would have a paragraph written out, which we needed to copy into our notebooks. However, the trick was that some words within the paragraph were garbled, supposedly, a couple of letters put in where other letters should go in their stead. Our task was to correct these garbled words as we were copying out the exercise.

At the time of reviewing the exercises we wrote out, she used to take an inordinate amount of time to bully to the point of tears, those students who made mistakes. She was merciless. Then, upon getting the student to start hiccupping and/or crying desperately, in shame and anguish, she used to embarrass them by forcing guilt about their crying in class.

Thinking back, I believe the teacher was frustrated with her thankless career, and wanted to extol the anguish into her students. Not really as a reflection of how ignorant and hopeless the students were, but more as a function of how she really felt about herself. She was acting out her own feelings towards herself.

This practice, of bullying people into the point of tears when they committed a mistake, seemed common at the time, as my own mother used to employ similar tactics at home. I believe that guilt used as an instrument of correction comes with the territory, in a Catholic country. Guilt as an authority device is a strong motivator for some.

Another experience which troubled me, earlier yet than first grade, was when I was placed in a Catholic kindergarten class for a very short period of time. There, our teacher refused to answer my question of when we were supposed to come back in from recess. I remember lingering to a nearby room to play the car stunt minitrack, with that classroom's teacher trying to get me to go back to my own room. I also remember my teacher coming in after some time incredibly furious that I had strayed, and grabbing me by the arm all the way back into the right classroom.

I didn't remember what my fellow students looked like, to follow them, and I had forgotten where our room was. I didn't like to be around my teacher because she was unpleasant and impatient.

Someone complained to my mom that I was unruly, after the event, because I remember she had a talk with an authority figure at the school and I ended up leaving after three days, or at least it was within the first week. I felt bad for my mom but I realized I didn't have any business belonging to that school.

Back when I was that small, kids used to get very sick at school. Gee, don't they do now too? But my mom has stood by this statement. She has said there were schools that you were more likely to get very sick at, and so she kept me out of those.

That's some sort of rationalization for something, that I've often wondered about, and never received any clarification on. But it's not that important, so I don't really care. However, the result is that instead of going to the same school, within walking distance from where I lived, I had to commute an inordinate amount of time since a very young age. This incessant, unavoidable commuting seemed to stay with me for a majority of my life.

During a recent discussion, my mom and I realized we don't remember at what time I got out from school when I was in Italy. My grandmother probably came to pick me up, as my mom worked rather far away. I remember sometimes my grandfather would come with my grandmother. Those were real treats, because I dearly loved my grandfather. And now that my grandmother's gone, and my grandfather's been gone a long time, we won't ever know at what time I got out of school when I was in Italy.

When I went to the College of DuPage to get a cheap certificate in Marketing, in 2003, I met a professor who was anything but equipped for the role. He used to assign indecent numbers of chapters in the book for us to read for homework, then answer the questions on a sheet of paper at the end of the chapter. The painful bit, was that we spent the entire class going from student to student reading the chapters paragraph by paragraph. That is the biggest waste of my school-going money I ever experienced.

I understand that professors must sometimes follow the curriculum as it is given to them by their department chairs. I understand sometimes that professors don't have the time to add useful tidbits to the class to make it interactive and multidimensional. However, to be lazy and just read a book, and nothing else, then why charge people for the privilege of what they're perfectly able to do at home?

I could have bought an older edition of the book off ebay at a lower price (instead of the overpriced bookstore) and proceed to read it on my own, at my own pace. I could have looked the book's accompanying website to learn more and find useful material to support the topics. I could have looked up articles on Google News about the companies and topics discussed in the chapter case studies. I could have done a far better job than the professor did.

There were no assignments and no real purpose or use or benefit in taking this class with this particular professor. He should have done something more productive, and something he actually had a passion and a talent for rather than waste our minds and time. Oh, it was a marketing class by the way. And our professor was Irish. I sure was honest and straightforward when it came to the class review. Oh, you can bet your sweet rear end I was.

After many years of Catholic school, I have been witness to religious sisters teaching students, and the various techniques and philosophies they apply to their task. Some sisters have a gift in relating and caring for others. These are the few. Some others are politicians and the particular role they're in is just a stepping stone to where they want to get to--so they have very little time for building rapport with students. These career sisters are also few and far between, thankfully. Others yet hate students, children, their teaching role, the work that goes along with it, and will make certain and sure that everyone is as miserable as they are. Regrettably, there are a high number of these sorts of sisters. So much for Christian charity, the vow of service, and comforting those in need.

When you have to study a subject that doesn't come easy because it's the first time you ever heard of it, when you need some one-on-one to work through some difficulties, and when you have a lot to juggle during a busy school day, the attitude and behavior (and philosophy) of the people who guide and teach you shape your experience much more than the students.

In school, we are taught to do everything our teachers say and to be respectful. We tend to look towards those in a role of authority in school with hope, with esteem, and with obedience. When these individuals let you down, it's very hard. It's no wonder there's a teacher shortage.

A Note on Leadership from a Dissenting, Conscientious Objector

2011-12-24T06:56:00.002-06:00

I observe leaders and I am let down by them continuously. I have been experiencing this phenomenon since I was in first grade--disappointed by how my teacher acted with my classmates. I've never found the role of blind, mute follower an easy path to walk. I'm the dissenting, conscientious objector.

People sometimes get carried away by their title and role. They see the power and appreciation, and popularity granted to them by being in a leadership office or role. They forget, the most fundamental rule, that they are not there for themselves--they're not special-- they're there to serve an urgent need in that particular group or community. Leadership is a role of service.

What does it mean to be a leader? You are supposed to be sociable, lead a group to a particular goal--and then another--breathe and eat the group's philosophy, be earnest, and be trust-worthy.

Your energy level will translate into people's opinion of your group and your group's achievements. You are the evangelist for the group with external entities, and the cheerleader internally to stimulate and propagate the mission and objectives.

I would imagine that an insatiable need to learn and improve would help a leader be the best s/he can be. However, one's own personal and professional journey should not be mirrored in a flip-flopping of philosophy. Imagine changing goals, metrics, and leadership style on a periodical basis, depending on what new inspiring book the leader is reading. You should be the constant, running on high, percolating your group to forward momentum.

You need to build a ramp for your group to advance on, never mind whether you initiated the group, or you are leading it onward from another beginning. This is why it's so important to lead as a role model.

Whenever someone from a leadership standpoint behaves in a manner unbecoming, you'll never be able to glue your reputation back together again, dear humpty dumpty, no matter how hard you try. You can only work towards optimizing people's short-term memory, and the out-of-sight-out-of-mind principle. But that's a dirty way to live.

I may not question leadership openly, as people (both the leader and its followers) become incredibly defensive when leadership is questioned, but I certainly ask a lot of questions internally. And my character observations are usually spot on.

Many people direct and channel their disappointment in a bad leader as nay-saying, negative comments, mud-slinging, and more. You can tell these are child-like reactions by the earnestness and force with which the insults fly out of people's mouths. Hate the president? Hate a political party? Hate the draft? It's so easy to mud sling.

But very few take action to actually fix the problem of a bad or inadequate leader. No one steps up to unite the people and select a new leader. It's always more comfortable to be led than to lead. People are guilt-tripped into not speaking up, standing out, and leading a different path. Imagine what would have happened if Martin Luther hadn't led a few into a new religion? Where would millions of people worship today? Leadership definitely doesn't come naturally.

It's perhaps a preponderance of unlucky leaders that are dragged into their role, kicking and screaming, that has created a leadership wariness in the population.

And let's not confuse loud-mouths and busy-bodies with leaders. Just because someone is loud and acts with assuredness, and people don't question enough and follow blindly, it doesn't mean they're a leader. No, it just means there's plenty of sheep happy to be led into slaugther. Otherwise, how would you explain the Greek Sorority and Fraternity business? When so few are ready to act, it's so easy to be lazy and follow...

A leader plays many roles, but the important stance of quick-thinking, stability, and permanence are among the most important. People must get comfortable, but not too comfortable. You need to move forward and build momentum, not become stuck in a rut. Adaptability and progressiveness are insurmountable traits that somehow a leader must wrap his/her arms around.

What do you look for in a leader? Or more importantly, what do you do once you realize a leader is not up to the challenge?

A Note on Professional Etiquette

2011-12-24T06:27:00.000-06:00

There's a woman member I know from work, not personally, who floods her acquaintances with seasonal history emails (halloween, christmas, easter) and sends respective e-greeting cards. She already follows me on LinkedIn, but when she started following me on Twitter I blocked her. That's a bit much.

This woman would otherwise seem to be of a religion which does not celebrate neither Halloween, nor Christmas, nor Easter. However, she did seem unaware of proper conversation boundaries, when, at a dinner, she began regaling us about her giving up a daughter when she was very young, and then building a relationship with this daughter and re-establishing a rapport to this day. She seems to think that providing financial offering of good will is an appropriate relationship builder with her daughter. When in reality, people give up children for adoption for much more than just financial need. This completely gratuitous (and unwanted) regaling of personal information took place during a networking dinner. I felt embarrassed for her, that she kept talking even though most people at the table were gaping at her open mouthed.

It's easy being a big fish in a little pond, and yet I'm always fascinated by people playing the little fish in a big pond as if they were playing your heartstrings on a violin. Does this actually go anywhere, I wonder to myself.

What is the purpose of regaling unwanted personal information to professional contacts? Playing the woman card? Playing the "was from a low social status, but look at me now" card? I really don't want to know that a business woman didn't have enough sense to prevent a pregnancy in her very, very early life and then now makes the situation a playing card in her professional life. It's embarrassing, yeah? Boundaries, people, boundaries.

And what's the most troubling is that I had to work with her twice, once she fumbled things up but eventually got the gist of her role at the very last eleventh hour second. The second time I worked with her, she dropped out of her volunteer opportunity out of the blue and without a proper excuse, right when it was most felt and caused the most damage. There's just no accountability, ownership, and sense of responsibility for people, I swear. I mean if you know you might have a difficult time, give a heads up so people can prepare, or even better, prepare a plan B so people aren't left out in the lurch.

I no longer hold any type of respect, nor need to socialize with someone who is irrational and floods professional contacts' inboxes with distribution list emails.

If you truly want to build a rapport with a professional contact, create communications that show a personal and professional interest in that other person. Build a connection based on a similarity, build trust by being reliable, build professionalism by being a role model of how you wish your relationship to be.

Not everyone is a good communicator, nor a good networker. However, some at least try. They get help to build up and shore up parts of their professional and personal repertoire where they realize they are lacking. Some people are unfortunate that others let bad behavior slide by, without any discussion for lessons learned. Turning a blind eye with no repercussions for unprofessional behavior may very well be breeding a species of professional that is soul-less and non-trust-worthy. That, my friends, I find inconsolable. My heart breaks, but I learn to go on. Though it's easy to give in to the feeling to want to give up.

I find that type of behavior unwanted and embarrassing. Common professional courtesy seems to be a thing of the past sometimes.

Her need to pursue people for whatever use it may be (reporting back on other people's behavior, networking, pushing their social and professional boundaries, etc.) is abnormal. I refuse to accept and smooth out relationships of this sort because it's fruitless and ROI-less for me.

Goodbye strange woman, may you fare well.

Review: Merry Christmas (Joyeux Noel) Film

2011-12-23T23:10:00.002-06:00

I had the pleasure of watching this film at the DuPage Unitarian Universalist Church earlier this evening. I had heard of the cease fire for Christmas eve during WWI in 1914 for years and years from my mother.

The movie showcases so many different themes: leadership, how doctrine must be absolute in order to succeed, charity, how disconnected leaders are from the front lines, how soldiers must never see the human side of their enemy, how politics sneak and distort, how bad of a lip syncer Diane Krueger is... ^^;

When the group of people around me began discussing their thoughts about the movie, most of the individuals spoke up about politics and government corruption. This has been a very hot button for many people in recent years, and it looks like it's too fresh a wound.

Everyone agreed the cat was a great device, and the chocolate bar scene was a perfect example that it's always so hard to trust another person. We also agreed the ending was more of a foreshadowing device than a real conclusion to the film.

The conversation ranged from historical facts to anti-government opinion, and it was fascinating hearing the give and take in the group, with most people agreeing with each other and there being no escalation -- something which is unusual these days, but a welcome experience to witness.

One person was extremely out of the box, and right on the nail when she said that this could have perfectly well been a silent movie, because people's expressions and body language helped communicate so much. This may have been a function of her difficulty in reading the English subtitles when people were speaking French or German. Even then, she was perfectly right, you could feel the tension among the characters, and then, later, the camaraderie.

Someone else mentioned that the children in the beginning, narrating their respective doctrines in a monotone reminded them that hate must be taught, it doesn't come naturally. Someone said that was what Oscar Hammerstein II said when he wrote South Pacific: you've got to be carefully taught.

One thing I noticed was people mentioning the first amendment (freedom of speech) after they mentioned their sincere opinion or critique about the political themes in the film. Obviously they thought they were being extreme in some of the thoughts they were sharing. Even though it was clear we all had the same attitudes and shared values about many of the things that were being discussed. It almost felt like they were trying to excuse themselves. Isn't that interesting?

This brought up a question in my mind: are we really free if we have to excuse our opinion by a postscript reminding everyone of our freedom of speech? We have a right to gather in public and to express our views, let's not be shy about it. If you are going to be out of the box, work it and be proud.

Cold Weather Green Activities

2011-12-22T07:47:00.001-06:00

As if the Huffington Post had read my mind, they put up a post today titled Winter Solstice: Cold-Weather Green Activities To Enjoy This Season.

Squee!

Snowy Winter Getaway Dreams

2011-12-20T20:08:00.001-06:00

There's something about a Chicago-style winter that always leaves me in the lurch. It's either too cold, not cold enough, too windy, not snowy enough, or too snowy. Too many potholes...the list of rants goes on.

A true and proper winter, in my mind, is one of those where you have tons and tons of snow outside, lots of warmth and coziness inside, and plenty of nature-related activities to keep active: hiking, snow-shoeing, skiing, ice fishing, ice skating, sledding, horse sled rides, etc.

Mind you, I'm really only good at the hiking part, when we start talking practicalities about those outdoor wintery nature activities. I did try skiing back in ye olde times, but I'd well and truly need a refresher about now.

Being stuck in a remote resort such as the one featured in The Shining would be absolute heaven to me. No psychosis involved whatsoever. No, no. Only wood paneling, gorgeous views, large windows, and cozy beds.

Unabated by practicalities, my winter wonderland daydreams get me into a sort of restless cabin fever. Just imagine, me thinking of a proper winter getaway--with all the trimmings--in the middle of an honest to goodness Midwestern winter. Yes, amazing. Even with all the cold we get here, I would still like to get me a winter getaway. Go figure. Oh and don't get me started about my Scottish vacation fantasy...that's for another post.

Of course, I'm thrilled when I get one of these manic, obsessive episodes, because they come so rarely and they inspire me in such longing and emotion that it's actually quite charming. A high with no controlled substances involved can be sort of fun, on occasion ;o)

So today, suffering from one of these feverish, longing spells of mine, I began researching Canadian getaways and cottage resorts around the Great Lakes. Purely educational of course...This is all informative and for use at a later date, as I currently don't have the privilege of enjoying time off from work, at least not until the new year.

The good news is that during today's search I was finally able to rediscover that fantastic Canadian resort of my teenage dreams, the Fairmont at Lake Louise up in Alberta of all places.

I don't remember when I first saw the classic photo of a large, majestic squarish building with French-style pointed roofs and turrets. Nor do I recall where I saw the first image that would be forever seared in my mind. What I remember is the spectacular urge to go there some day and which still persists today.

Surely, there are plenty of similar grand resort buildings adjacent to a body of water in the world, and yet I somehow got obsessed with the idea of going to one such place in Canada. As a matter of fact, I'm sure there's a similar resort somewhere in the province of Quebec.

But my imaginary fantasy vacation would not just take place at any time of year, but must be in winter. The logistics alone of getting somewhere rather remote, in the midst of Canada's glacier-created park can be incredibly complex. Imagine having to drive a snow cat of the same dimensions as that in The Shining just to get to the corner store!

But let's forget about the practicalities for a moment. Back to day dreaming. Such an adventurous winter romp would entail plenty of healthy, outdoor time to enjoy the spectacular, surrounding nature. I'd procure guide-led walks and hikes, historical themed tours, museum visits, local culture immersions, delicious square meals to help build up stamina, lots of laughing and giggling at sporadic intervals, and hot restorative beverages, gorgeous stone wood fireplaces to sit in front of, and plenty of hot steamy showers and soaks to recover from the chilly weather outside. Just writing about this is making me leave my body in blissful visualization. Ahhhh. ;o)

Honestly, I've been thinking about these types of getaways since my early teens...I've had plenty of time and practice to think up all the details and activity lists ;o)

I'm sure that a physically-demanding and active vacation out in nature is actually something that would do a world of good to my psyche--especially this time of year and after the recent happenings in my life. I'm more than eager to take it upon myself to get into a trip like this, and yet it would be so much more fulfilling if I were able to share it with someone of similar inclinations. *sigh* One of my favorite sayings is that I would never get to do the things I'm passionate about, if I were to wait for someone to come along and do them with me.

Alas, since there is neither an open pocketbook nor a similar soul to share this planning with, all I am left with is the infinitely amusing and longing daydreams that I will hopefully one day make come true. That will truly be a blissful day.

Here's to happy and healthy winter dreams, be there sunshine or feet upon feet of snow. I raise my cup of imaginary gluhwein, cheers!