Wandering About the Church

A Friendly Church

2014-12-17T12:50:00.002-05:00

Most of us think we are. I have never had anyone say “You should come to my church. We are very unfriendly but you would love it!” Makes us smile to even think about it doesn't it? I even was at a church once that had on the sign in front and on their bulletin “The Friendly Church!”

I put together a seminar years ago on seeing ourselves as others see us and have offered it over the years in different places I have served. One of the things I work to help churches I serve either as a pastor or consultant is how they are perceived in the community. When I was teaching marketing years ago I used to talk about in the eyes of the customer “perception is reality” even when it is not what we want it to be. That is true with a product, a service, a church or even an individual.

A few days ago I received the following message from a former member of a church I served. “Thought of you yesterday. How you always told our Church to be open and welcoming to people walking in for the first time. Ben and Kim bought a house outside Anywhere. They had been going to a very welcoming and loving Church in Sometown since Sam was born and was baptized there. They decided to try the Methodist Church in Anywhere this Sunday. Kim works weekends so it is Ben usually alone with Sam. Not a good experience, Sam is 18 months old and talked sometimes during service, people turned and stared at him, not smiling or welcoming. After service a few older couples came and welcomed him. No young couples or middle age couples. I'm very sad about it, he said he won't go back, felt very uncomfortable. I pray so hard my children will raise their children to know and love God with all their hearts and then something like this happens. Thank you for opening my eyes years ago to being welcoming to others coming into the Church for the first time. :( “

I wish I could say this is an unusual occurrence but the fact is that this is the most common experience people have when they visit our churches. So much of what we do is focused on those that are already “inside” the church we don’t even notice it would be meaningless to someone “outside” the church. The problem is that we sometimes welcome people into our buildings but not into our churches. The building is always the place where the church, the people, gather and even if we do a great job of inviting people into the building, integrating into the people is far more difficult usually unless we are intentional about it.

Of course this is an unusual occurrence in another way in that someone entered the building without being invited by someone that was already there. Would the experience have been any different? We need to be prepared to build relationships with people as soon as they connect with the church in any way. Today that is more likely to happen outside the building than inside. Remember, the church is a gathering of follower of Jesus wherever you are.

Are you prepared to extend a welcome to your church?

Special Interest Leadership

2014-12-03T06:58:00.000-05:00

I like most leaders have always said I have special interests. The main interest is leading people to know Jesus Christ. The great commission in Matthew 28 is “¹⁹Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, ²⁰teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” I have spent the last 40 years of my life learning about and helping others learn about Jesus.

In my work on the fringes of Conference leadership I have always said that I believe we need renewal in two areas, renewal in our churches and in our families, and that will only come when we point people to the teaching of Jesus. As I have studied John Wesley over the years I see a man of many interest but his ministry was grounded in the scripture of the Bible. Using the traditions of the church, his experience with faith and works he used reason to bring a message of hope and reconciliation to the world. That hope was always Jesus!

Today in one of the denominations that came from the roots of Wesley, The United Methodist Church, I see a church often led by those with a special interest that they are willing to point to at all costs even when it points away from Jesus. Think about how we elect leadership! Do we look at those that have a relationship with Jesus Christ and that shows in their daily life and leadership? Do we look at those that have taught us what it means to be a disciple of Jesus and how to grow in our faith? Or do we elect based on their willingness to support our special interest, whatever it is? How many of our General and Jurisdictional candidates will be elected because they represent some segment of the church, rather than how they reflect Jesus to the church and the world. Will those elected leaders than go on to rewrite our Book of Discipline to make it possible to invite people into discipleship in the life and resurrection of Jesus or will they need to represent their special interest? Will those same representatives go on to elect new Bishops because of their leading in making disciples of Jesus or will they elect based on the color of their skin, gender, nationality, or their support for some special interest group?

Over the last 20 to 30 years I have watched us continuously to elect delegates and leaders so that we look like we are a diverse denomination and claim it is so that voices can be heard. Is that really the reason? Shouldn’t the voice that we focus on be the voice of Jesus heard through the Holy Spirit? Shouldn’t we be electing leaders that will lead us toward Jesus?

Let me be clear, I still like everyone have special interests, I have spent my life studying renewal of the church and the family. I understand what it is to be passionate about something and I hope you are too. I hope our first passion is our relationship with Jesus and how everything else in our life will come to reflect him to the world. The cost of that will be great! Jesus told those that were wanting to follow him and be his disciple that they would be set apart. In the Sermon on the Mount he said “¹¹“Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. ¹²Rejoice and be glad, for your reward in heaven is great; for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

John Wesley knew what it was to live out this verse and he left this world with the final words “Best of all, God is with us.” I am praying for you my friends, that you may be drawn deeper into the love of God through Jesus Christ and that wherever our paths take us in the end each of us will know that “Best of all, God is with us!” Be blessed my friends.

Elders – Called to Wherever, Whenever and into Whatever

2012-04-20T13:59:00.001-04:00

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the role of the elder in the United Methodist Church. When I started the journey to becoming an elder at the age of 38, after 20 years in management, I decided that I was willing to fully commit to the sacrifices and challenges of living out the life of an elder. I started out as a local pastor serving a small country church and for eight years I served that congregation while working full time including 7 years on our Conference staff and going to seminary. As I think back on those years as a local pastor I realize how much my ministry was impacted by the elders that had been the pastors of the churches I attended and then while serving at Emory Chapel I was surrounded by a number of elders with many years of experience and wisdom. While I believed the work I was doing was important and I thought of myself as committed to the church, I knew that with the bulk of my income coming from other sources, living in my own home in the community of my choosing and living more than 30 miles from the church I was not connecting to my church or community in the same way that many of the elders around me were able to.

I am very aware of the cost to a church or group of churches to have an ordained elder as their pastor. There is a minimum salary, a reimbursement account for ministerial expenses, hospitalization, pension, a parsonage including the utilities, office space in the church and the parsonage. Today the cost in many places is close to or more than $80,000 a year. That is a lot of money. We are finding it more and more difficult for a church to support this kind of pastoral care in many places. Is the problem the cost of the pastor or the faithfulness of the church to make disciples for Jesus Christ?

While many around me saw the call on my life to pastoral ministry I fought that call for more than 20 years. The truth is I liked having some semblance of control over my life, where I worked, where I lived, who I lived near, the people I spend the bulk of my time with. One of the things I liked most was the ability of people around me to see me for more than the work that I did. They seemed to be able to separate my work, be it managing a business or non-profit or teaching, from the many other things I did in my life. I was involved in a local church, lead many Bible studies, coached and officiated for numerous sports, became active in local politics as a candidate, public servant and campaign worker. I belonged to numerous organizations and groups that brought richness to my life that usually were unrelated to most other areas of my life.

While I was involved in many other activities I have since I was a teenager tried to live my life to have an impact for the Kingdom of God in every one of those areas. Since I decided to offer my life to God and follow Jesus and his teaching at the age of 16 my life has traveled many paths, some I am proud of and some that I wish I had made different decisions. For years I studied the Bible, lead Bible studies and served my local churches in many ways. I belonged to two United Methodist churches before I entered the ministry, a mid-sized urban church and a large rural church. I was raised in the country in the midst of the steel industry and the heart of unions when they were extremely strong. My dad was a steel worker for more than 35 years and one of the hardest working men I have ever met and a union member. As I began my faith journey as a young teenager I was surrounded by Christian people that struggled with what it meant to follow Jesus on a daily basis. I can still remember my grandfather poring over his Bible at the kitchen table and debating what passages meant to daily living with many that entered his home. Interestingly I can never remember him going to church. His wife, my grandmother, on the other hand never missed a Sunday and took her two daughters, including my mother, with her and the church would shape their lives in many ways that I would only come to appreciate years later. I was impacted by the faith I saw lived out.

As a child growing up in my rural community we were C&E Christians, Christmas and Easter attenders in church. While we did not attend worship regularly my mother taught me the Bible stories and read to me from the Bible before bed many nights. I grew up with the stories of the Bible. When I was 14 we began attending church but that is another story! Not only did we begin to attend church but I was required to attend Sunday school and MYF (Methodist Youth Fellowship)! We had an Associate member of the Annual Conference as our pastor and He continued to challenge me to give my life to Jesus and follow Him and at the age of 16 I knelt before that congregation and offered my life to Jesus. On that day I didn’t know what that would mean. It began my journey of faith that continues to evolve and grow today.

That fall a young man, Walt Hehman, a seminary student, would become my pastor. We would travel with him as he completed seminary and was ordained an elder in the United Methodist Church. Walt would guide my journey in faith, get me started in District and Conference activities, and become a vital part of my life. For 7 years he helped to mold me in so many ways. It was through him that I began to see the cost of being an elder and pastor. He would tell me that I would one day be a District Superintendent. I would laugh and tell him that I wasn’t going to be a pastor so he never had to worry about that. I wasn’t willing to set aside my goals, making money and gaining power, to serve a church that required you to go wherever, whenever and into whatever you were sent. For the next 20 years I would go to college, begin a business career, get an MBA, teach at the college I graduated from and continue to minister and grow in my faith through those avenues. During the whole time I was doing ministry in the name of Jesus as I attempted to live out what he had taught.

After fighting the call to ministry for more than 20 year my pastor ask me if I realized that I would never accomplish what God was calling me to be and impact the world until I was willing to give up my life and follow Him and he saw that as a call to full-time ordained ministry. Believing that there had to be another way I agreed to start the process of exploration into the ordained ministry fully expecting to reject the call. The truth is I tried to find a way to being ordained without giving up control of my life either to God or those placed in authority over me, DSs and Bishops. I have learned that I cannot serve the church until I am able to give up that control and allow God to work in and through me. Over the next 9 years I would serve a small church, go to seminary, work on our Conference staff and join the struggle to make disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world.

In 2004 I was ordained an elder in the United Methodist Church. On that day I vowed to go wherever, whenever and into whatever God called me through the direction of my DS and Bishop. At that time I was serving two churches as pastor and on the staff of a third in my home community and felt I was effectively building the Kingdom of God through that season of my ministry. Then I received the call to go to the City of Erie, PA and pastor an intercity church. I was a country boy and felt most comfortable in rural and small town settings but because I had said I will go wherever, whenever and into whatever my Bishop called me to I went. In response to a challenge from that Bishop I worked diligently to make disciples there and build the Kingdom of God. To say that they were the three most difficult years of my life might just be an understatement. The cost to serve there was high but I believe God called me to that place for a season so that both I and the church could grow.

Now that I am back in a rural and small town serving two churches I have been doing a lot of thinking about the cost to the church and to me and my family of serving the church as a full-time elder and member of the Annual Conference. Most people don’t realize that when we are ordained we no longer hold membership in a local church but in the Annual Conference. We are appointed to the community in which we serve so that the “world is my parish” can be lived out. When I go to an appointment I have to be willing to go into whatever community my Bishop wishes me to touch, go whenever they send me, and serve whatever community to which I am sent. I do not get to choose where to go, what my income will be, what kind of house I will live in, what school my children will attend, and I am usually called to be far from my family and friends. Others decide how the house I live in will be cared for, what they are willing to do to help the church and I will be evaluated on their willingness to follow the Jesus. The cost to me as and elder to go wherever, whenever and into whatever I am sent is a cost that most will never see.

As we enter General Conference there will be discussion as to if we should keep the “guaranteed appointment” or not. I would gladly give up the “guaranteed appointment” as long as I get to give up the wherever, whenever and into whatever! The question will be whether the authorities, Bishops, District Superintendents, and churches are willing to give up this power and right to have a pastor that is willing to go wherever, whenever and into whatever.

We need to make sure we look at the costs for every decision we make.

A Contemplative Mood

2011-06-01T11:15:00.000-04:00

I am sitting on the front porch this morning after reading for an hour or so and feeling the need to contemplate many things in life this morning. I have been thinking about family, marriage, children, the challenges of step-parenting, the role of pastor, ministry today, Annual Conference, Ordination, recovery from surgery, the start of PT, summer and the need for renewal.

There is a fresh breeze blowing this morning after a couple of extremely hot days and it feels good to enjoy the breeze. Just as the breeze coming across the porch brings fresh air and cooler temperatures I am reminded that the wind of the Spirit brings fresh ideas and thoughts when I spend some time with God and contemplate what He is doing in my life and the world around me.

I have been thinking a lot about Annual Conference as we prepare to head to Grove City next week and at one point I was wondering if I would be able to go as I recover from shoulder surgery and have found it much more difficult than I anticipated. I was expecting a few days off and to be back in the saddle and running and now almost three weeks after surgery I am still not allowed to drive and starting PT today with what I now think might be a painful experience. It has made me slow down and given me a lot of time to think and reflect on what is going on in my life. Annual Conference has always been an important time to me to reconnect with friends and colleagues from across western PA and beyond and the idea of not being able to go brought out mixed emotions in me that I didn’t expect. While I look forward to seeing friends and colleagues I don’t find myself the least bit interested in most of what else goes on during those days. Don’t get me wrong, I love the worship with 2000 people and the sense of once a year being connected to my United Methodist brothers and sisters in Christ in Western PA but really wonder if time and resources we spend there is good fiscal and time stewardship today.

This morning I have been thinking a lot about ordination. My first experience with ordination goes back to the 1970s when Walt Hehman, my pastor at the time, was ordained and we took a bus load to support him at one of the churches in Pittsburgh. I still have pictures of that day and remember the sense of God’s Spirit in that sacred place and time. Over the years we have moved from the multiple ordination services to one at AC and from the chapel to the large meeting space. When I was commissioned in 2004 the service was on Saturday night and my family and friends came, but I was in a new appointment and the fact that it was at Annual Conference and Grove City College I think made people from the churches feel it was not important to be there. I distinctly remember during the communion service my station being at the back of the hall and if my family and friends had not come back there would have been no one to serve because there were so few people there. Now we require the clergy to be there so there is a large crowd but still limited participation from the laity. Is it time we ask the question “Is this the right place to hold ordination?” We spend an extra day at Annual Conference, at least those that are required to be there, most of the laity still go home, and while I am still touched by the service I really wonder if that is where it belongs. What would happen if we took it back to multiple locations, maybe three, and encouraged or even required clergy from the area to be there, would we get more participation from the laity that matter most to our ordinands? I wonder how many feel that same sense of the sacred place that I felt at Walt’s ordination.

I am thinking about those that are retiring after a lifetime of service to God, the church and the Western PA Conference and the need to move from having a retirement service to giving them a few minutes to share a reflection to save time for what? Maybe there should be a retirement banquet that family and friends were invited to that would celebrate this momentous occasion in the life of those that have given their life for the church. While it would not likely draw thousands, would it draw those most important to those whose life is being celebrated?

I guess what I am really contemplating is what needs to change to meet the needs of Christ’s church today? I know that for some I am stepping on holy ground! Sometimes I wish the Holy Spirit would just allow me to be a follower and go with the flow but that has never been where I felt lead.

I am contemplating my personal journey as well. The truth is today I am tired and would like to rest but there is a disruptive Spirit moving in me that says that I need to continue to reflect on how God is working in my life in this season and what is God calling me to change as well. When I think of the changes that have occurred in my life over the last three years I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving and a sense of awe while wondering where it is all leading. Three years ago at Annual Conference I met Kerry, my now beautiful bride; just going to show that something good can come out of Annual Conference. Two years ago I moved on June 30^th to Cambridge Springs and on July 10^th Kerry and I were married so we could start our life together here in a new home. It also meant that I had two teenagers in the house again including a teenage girl for the first time in my life. You talk about the stress inventories. I think I had them all!

The move here to Cambridge Springs has been a tremendous blessing to all of us. The kids have settled into a new school and are doing very well inside the classroom, in athletics and with new friends. Neither of the two churches I serve have a history of being pastor centered so they both have wonderful ministries that go on and allow me time to connect to the community. It has also made it more difficult to get them to look at new ways of doing things and I am learning to go about ministry in different ways. It is hard to believe how social media has impacted my ministry here and the role it is playing in ministry to the community. I would be content to retire from this place of ministry as I see God work in and through His people here.

I have never been afraid to try something new and risk it failing, at least in the eyes of some. I am finding that traditional ways of doing ministry just simply don’t work anymore. I am struggling to discover what those changes are that God is calling me to make in order to serve Him and to make and grow disciples for Jesus Christ. I know that I need to make changes, but sometimes that is hard when you have been doing something for so long. As I look for new ways to preach, teach and disciple I find many that still want the old ways to work, and age has nothing to do with who wants that, and there is a fear about what making changes will mean for us. I am finding that younger generations don’t put the same value on face to face contact, want most things to be personalized for them, and I don’t know how to be most effective while meeting the needs of a diverse community.

Now ending my second year of marriage and being a stepfather has opened my eyes to a whole new world that is out there that the church has often ignored or made to feel unwelcome. As I have read and attended seminars on step-families I find that we are not prepared to meet the needs or understand what happens when the nuclear family is broken by death or divorce. I have had my eyes opened in ways I never imagined as I learn to build new relationships with people that I am now related to and responsible for and the unique challenges that presents. I am blessed by a wife that is willing to learn on this journey with me and we are growing in so many ways. Some statistics say that 85% of those under 18 today will be a part of a stepfamily in their lifetime. At the same time only about 5% of those in our pews is a part of a stepfamily. I am spending a lot of time thinking about what that means and what I can do to change both of those situations.

As I sit here recovering from surgery two years after an accident I have had a lot of time to think and reflect on what is important. God continues to amaze me in the blessings I experience each day while at the same time realizing that my body isn’t what it used to be. I heal slower and seem to add a new doctor each year. Some parts don’t work like they used to and some hurt far more than they used to. I find it harder to lose weight each year and finding time to get the necessary exercise gets harder and harder. I have also learned when I get that exercise and eat right I feel better and some of those parts work better. Finding the balance between ministry work and personal needs is always a challenge as it is for everyone. While I try and practice what I preach, at times it is very difficult to live a healthy lifestyle. I am looking at my life and asking what I need to change and what the costs of those changes are likely to be.

This afternoon as I start physical therapy to restore my shoulder I anticipate there will be a certain amount of pain I will have to go through in order to rebuild my shoulder and it will be up to me how long that will take. While I can’t rush the process I also can’t get lazy and be afraid to work through the pain to get where I want to be. Isn’t that true of so much of life?

God is doing a work in me right now. I am praying each day that I will receive a little more insight in to His ways and feel the Spirit moving in me an stirring my spirit so that I continue to grow in my faith and relationship with Him. I thank God for this time of contemplation and while I am not sure where it will lead or if anyone will be touched through me I will continue to seek to serve Him with all that I am and all that I have.

Disconnected Leadership

2010-12-02T07:10:00.001-05:00

I am laughing! This morning in my inbox was a connection to my Conference with a weekly e-news email. The title of one of the articles was Disconnected Connection?, and guess what, the link to the article didn't work! It is hard to stop laughing as I sit here thinking about it.

I spent many years in management and teaching at the college level before becoming a pastor. I went to a Christian College, Geneva College, where I learned that my faith needed to be lived out wherever God took me. I graduated with an Accounting, Business Administration degree and went into the world of management for a small family owned business. As I think back on it the collision between my faith and what I saw in the business world challenged my faith in many ways and for me made it stronger. I failed many times to live out my faith but every time I learned something from it. First I was invited back to Geneva as a speaker and after completing a Masters Degree in Business at Robert Morris I was invited to become an instructor there. I had the opportunity to challenge my students to go through the same struggle I did between living out their faith and living in the midst of what is often an evil world. The one thing I learned well there, both as a student and an instructor, was that I needed to stay connected to the world if I wanted to influence others for Jesus Christ.

I have spent my entire career working diligently to connect people to meet their needs wherever they are and to connect them to an awesome God that I have been called to serve. Over the years I have learned that I must always be willing to listen to many voices and at times most closely to those that are telling me what I don't want to hear. Leadership that fails to listen will fail to lead.

The article I was trying access was about our denominational Call to Action and the "recommendation to consolidate general agencies and the perceived disconnect between the agencies and local churches." Thus my laughter at a broken connectional link! When I was teaching marketing I often used the phrase that in the marketing world "perception is reality" and taught my students that if you wanted to sell your product much of your success would be based on the perception of your product and that would be the reality that you had to work from. My perception in my denomination is that the connectional links at all levels of leadership are so broken that those at the top are clueless about the perceptions in the pew.

Every day it seems the demands of our leadership conflict with the perceived needs in the pew and are completely out of touch with the view of those that are not sitting in pew. Several years ago when I moved to a new community I did what I thought I should do and began to spend time connecting to those that were not a part of the church I was serving. I began hearing two things very clearly. The first was that they continually referred to the church I was serving using the phrase "that is the church that used to" meaning that they were connected in some way to that church by what it used to do but no longer did. The second phrase that I heard was "we don't want to be a part of organized religion" and it took me awhile to figure out what that meant. I learned that it meant that they didn't want to be a part of an organization that its leaders said one thing but that their perception of what they did in their daily lives in reality didn't match up with what they said.

Many books have been published outlining what this means and I won't go into that here but the gist is that the local church is out of touch with the perception of it in the community. The sad thing is that I believe that many of those perceptions are the reality. We as leaders at all levels most of the times don't want to hear about those perceptions. We say "they are not reality" and "That is not who we really are" but, my friends, it really doesn't matter, perception is reality.

My perception of our denominational leadership is that they will develop a "Plan of Action" and demand that we execute it no matter how connected it is to the communities in which we serve. My perception is that many of those leaders are so busy developing ways to "teach us" how to be the church that they have lost touch with not only those in the pew but those that they are demanding that we reach for Christ. I am sure that many of my perceptions are wrong and I know that every one of those leaders is working as diligently as I am on what they see is important. What I also perceive is that what we have been doing as a denomination isn't working to make disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world, out mission as a church.

I am very aware that these are my perceptions and that I don't have the full picture that the leaders have. My prayer is that we will begin to see a breakdown of the endless meetings, paperwork and time consuming demands that keep all of us disconnected from the communities we are called to serve. It seems to me that we have a call to action
"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit,
²⁰teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20

Leaving FaceBook?

2010-11-29T17:58:00.001-05:00

This morning I just finished reading a blog post that one of my FaceBook friends posted on why they were leaving FaceBook. I often question if the time I take for FB every day is time well spent and thought maybe this would provide me with some more reason to leave a world that at my age is not in my comfort zone much of the time. As I read the article it struck me that the very reason they were leaving were the reason I feel compelled to stay.

The truth is that I never wanted a MySpace page or a FaceBook account that would become one more thing I had to do each day or monitor. Several years ago one the youth in my church ask about having a MySpace page for the youth group and since I knew nothing about this media I thought I should at least check it out and see if it had any value. I went out and created a personal account and then began to connect to the other people that I found had pages as well. With those from different generations, especially the younger ones, I started to see the world in a new light. It began to open my eyes to how they connected and how thin many of those connections were. I began to realize that I had lost touch with what was happening in the world outside the church and I started to become very aware of why my church was not connecting to those outside the church building. I sure didn't like much of what I was reading but it did make me think, and for me that is always a good thing.

I started with a MySpace account and when FaceBook became popular I opened one of those accounts too. I have found FaceBook far more valuable today than the several other networking sites I am also on. I have just under a thousand "friends" on FaceBook. The interesting thing to me is that when I look through the list there are only a few, less than 20, that I couldn't tell you how I know them and where we made our first connection. Not that I am under any illusion that they are close friends or in some cases more than an acquaintance that I made somewhere in my life. Some are professional connections or people I have met through others.

This morning's blog had me asking if I was on FaceBook for me or for those that are my "friends." As I thought about it I have eliminated many of the things that I find as simply distractions for why I joined in the first place, the games, the applications that are for fun and all the question or survey stuff. I simply block all those apps as soon as they appear on my screen and I don't even have to see them anymore. All that I have left for the most part is the posting written by my friends or links that they find interesting. I also ignore any link that doesn't tell me why I should look at it in a personal note from that person since I have found that helps me stay away from virus type problems.

There have been two times that I have been encouraged to continue using FaceBook even though I often wonder if anyone is paying attention to the stuff I post. First, last year at the churches Annual Conference, a gathering of pastors and lay people from our more than 850 churches in Western PA, many people came up and told me that they made decisions on what to read based on my book reviews that I usually post and several mentioned appreciating the links and articles that I pass on from my friends. The second event was my class reunion this past weekend. Several people came up to me and told me that while we were not close in high school they really enjoyed reading my posts to FaceBook and the information that I passed on. Each of them mentioned that they had never commented or said anything on FB but that they wanted me to know that I had touched their life in some way.

I have spent my life trying to help others connect to one another in ways that will help them grow in many ways, their faith, their profession, their family or their joy. I have found FaceBook to be an excellent way to help others in that way and so I will be staying on FaceBook until there is a better way to touch the lives of my friends in an interesting way.

A Tale of Two Visitors

2010-11-19T08:41:00.001-05:00

Today I am thinking about the many training events I have done over the years to help churches become more welcoming. I was at a cluster Charge Conference the other night and heard a member of a small discussion group talking about that training to the others. It caught my attention because it had been years ago that she had attended the training and made me wonder if it had made a difference for her church. Later that evening I ran into her and she told me that someone from her church that was there had talked about how welcoming the church was when she came and that was the reason she stayed. The former seminar attendee had said that it was the result of the work they had done after attending the seminar and that was why she had mentioned my name in the group.

I was reminded of an experience that I had while serving one of my earlier appointments that I may never be able to get out of my mind. One Sunday morning as the congregation gathered in the sanctuary for worship and I was in the pulpit getting something settle I looked out and noticed two visitors entering the sanctuary a the about the same time. One was a gentleman that had made a very substantial donation toward a project that we were working on and his gift allowed that project to be completed. The other was a young lady that attended an Alcoholics Anonymous group that met in the church and I had made contact with while she stood outside smoking a cigarette one night and invited to join us or an event that was happening there that evening. Each had a very different background and story.

The gentleman had been a child of that church when he was a boy. His mother had played the piano and given him a love for music and many of his memories where of running around that church while his mother rehearsed or played while he was a small boy. That had launched him on a career that had taken him as a professional musician to many exciting places. He had played with some of the biggest bands in the country, for network TV and on movie scores that many of us would recognize. He had apparently done very well financially and now in his mid 90s had returned to the place of his childhood and the place where he had roots. He had wonderful memories of that building and the place he remembered it being. One day he stopped in the church office after returning to live in his childhood community and expressed a desire to make a gift to the church in memory of his mother. Over the next eight or nine months I visited with him and he attended church a few times when his friend would bring him and we built a relationship that I realized was for him based on the memories he had as a child. One day his financial advisor called and asks me to visit with them that he was ready to make a gift in memory of his mother. When I arrived we had a brief conversation and then they presented me with a check for $20,000 in memory of his mother towards a project that had been on the boards for a long time but the funding was not there for from the congregation. His gift made the completion of that long time dream a reality and the project was completed.

It was during this same time that I first met the young lady under very different circumstances. As I mentioned I had met her while she was attending an AA meeting in the church and I learned that she was in a half way house after being released from a court ordered drug treatment facility. She had made many bad decisions in her short life and had been separated from her family and friend and was struggling to overcome several addictions. She was living in a room at the housing facility where she had very little in the way of possessions and even her freedom of movement was restricted. I had learned that she wanted to know what it meant to be Christian and if she could still have a relationship with God and if Jesus could still love her with all the evil that she had done. I had invited her to come and experience God's love for her with us in worship.

On the Sunday morning that they both appeared I watched as a group of leaders of the church surrounded our gift giver with lavish attention and escorted him to a seat, praised him for his gift and made sure he was made comfortable. At the end of the service he was invited to the area where a fellowship time was held and refreshments where available and several people again made sure all his needs were met and he was the center of attention.

At the same time the young lady entered the sanctuary and almost no one greeted her and some looked at her with a look that made it pretty clear they did not approve of her appearance. She sat quietly and observed the attention being paid to the old well dressed man a few rows in front of her. I noticed at times throughout the service that she would have tears running down her cheeks as she silently wept and it was very obvious that she was struggling with her emotions. At the end of the service she wondered alone down the hall and into the fellowship area where again she was ignored or at most a brief greeting and then a turning away as if her disheveled unkept appearance might rub off on someone. After a few minutes I noticed that she was gone from the fellowship room and went to look for her. I found her sitting alone quietly in the back of the sanctuary weeping. As we talked my heart broke for her as she talked about the need for human connection and a friend during these difficult days. That was the last time I ever saw her in Sunday morning worship.

I have often thought since that morning about which one was more likely to be Jesus visiting our time of worship of Him. How many visitors are we getting that I or the pastor or anyone else in the church knows what their story is? How many times does Jesus visit with us and we are distracted by something?

What would happen if this scenario played out in your church? What would happen if Jesus entered your doors as one of the hungry, thirsty, sick or poorly clothed people of the street? It will always be food for thought for me.

Why Do They Call Me Pastor?

2010-11-18T16:02:00.001-05:00

Sometimes I find it fascinating when someone refers to me as their pastor that I have so little connection to. The last couple of days have really gotten me thinking about this.

Yesterday I had a phone call from a woman that was crying and when I answered she ask, "Is this the pastor?" She then asks the question "Where in the Bible does it say that I can't commit suicide?" How would you have answered that question? Several times during a lengthy conversation she referred to me as pastor. I am not even sure where she got my number or if she had any idea who she was talking to. She would not identify herself because she told me she didn't want me to send someone to her that would put her in the hospital. I did my best to help her connect to a God that loved her enough and still loves her beyond her wildest imagination.

Webster's Dictionary defines a pastor as a priest or minister in charge of a congregation. What does it mean to be in charge of a congregation? How can I be in charge of a congregation if I don't even know who they are?

This morning I got a call from a lady that first contacted me several months ago because her and her husband had been married in the church I now serve many years ago. At that time he had lost a leg and there was a question as if he would even survive. He did survive and the people from four local churches got together and built a ramp into the trailer that they lived in so he would be able to come home. This morning's call was to tell me that he had been taken back to the hospital, would have surgery this afternoon and may lose his other leg if they cannot get blockages opened up. She ask me to come to the hospital and see them, which of course I did. While I was there relatives came in and she introduced me as their pastor.

Over the years of my ministry I have been introduced by many people as their pastor. Some because they belong to one of the churches I serve, some because I have spent extensive time with them and some that I feel that I have just had a passing acquaintance with. What makes them think of me as pastor?

As I have reflected on this I think of John Wesley's words that "The World is my Parish!" and that as a United Methodist pastor I have always said that was how I felt as well. If that is true then everyone in the world is a part of my congregation. When we are appointed at Annual Conference our bishop always talks about the "communities" to which we have been appointed. I work hard to connect with that community and am often called on to minister to people that sometimes I have never met or had very little contact with.

I remember one time getting a call from a local funeral director asking me to do a funeral for a lady because the family said she had requested that I do her service. When he gave me the name it was not one I was familiar with and I ask if he was sure it was me. He assured me that they had asked for me by name and church. I agreed to do the funeral but did not know who she was till I arrived at the funeral home and realized that my only contact with her was when she came to eat dinner with some lady friends at our fundraising dinners. I was touched but felt bad that I had not connected with her in a much deeper way.

The world is my parish and I am humbled to think that so many may think of me as their pastor with so little interaction with them. I am finding that many are crying out for a spiritual leader that will help them find a connection with a God that they often time find elusive, and that we as pastors represent that connetion for them. I pray that I may continue to touch the lives of those in my community, "world," and that many may see me as pastor, a link to a God that loves them.

Where Have All the Leaders Gone

2010-09-24T09:43:00.001-04:00

There has been a lot of talk lately about the lack of leadership in a number of organizations I am involved in including the church. I hear complaints about the lack of those that are willing or able to step up to be effective leaders. In our Conference we talk about our pastors needing to be faithful, fruitful and effective leaders but at the same time we complain that there are so few. Is anyone asking the question "Why are there so few leaders today?"

During the fall sports season I have been watching our kid's football and volleyball teams, professional baseball and professional and college football teams. The thing that I notice that is different between the victors and the losers is that there is a leader on the field of play for those teams that stay together and win. After years of coaching a number of sports as well as often being asked to provide some kind of leadership in many of the organizations I have been a part of I have been asking myself why some step up as leaders and others seem to fear that role. The truth is that the coach can teach and encourage but at some point must leave the team in the hands of the on field players that are in the trenches and the leaders must take the risk of stepping up and leading from the middle of the action.

It is very clear to me that all leaders are not the ones that show up on paper, are asked to be leaders by the coach, pastor or Bishop, but those that are willing to take the risk of failure, embarrassment or even their way of life. If we want to make a difference in the place in life God has brought us to then we must be willing to step up and lead and develop other leaders along the way.

Webster defines a leader as "a person who leads." To lead means to "direct by going before or along with, to guide by influence, to show the way by going before." When I think back over my life I have experienced many leaders, most of whom I didn't think of them as a leader along the way. They travelled the journey of life beside me or lead the way as I learned new skills or ways of doing things. Many times that meant that they had to at some point allow me the freedom to do it my way and to allow me to fail without fear. I have found that many of those that provided me with the greatest leadership were not those that were placed above me in a position but those that were willing to invest in me as a person. I can think of many I have learned from that worked for me, were my students, or that I coached as I encouraged them to challenge me and make me think in new ways. I continue to learn from the churches I am called to lead as pastor by continuing to listen and encourage questions and feedback even when it is difficult to hear.

I believe there are far more leaders out there than we are willing to admit at times. I have heard a number of those that are placed in leadership positions complain that there just aren't enough leaders out there today. At the same time I hear many complaining that they are not given the permission to lead. I think both are simply wrong. Too many of us are waiting for permission when real leaders take the risk to lead even when it means that others are upset or there is a cost to that leadership. Others of us are afraid to allow someone to lead when we think we may not be able to control what they do and again what it might cost us. The mark of the true leader is the one that takes the risk and leads the way and is willing to pay the cost of leading. Each of us has the opportunity to provide leadership wherever God takes us. Are you willing to be all God wants you to be and take the risk of being a true leader today?

Triple the Number of District Superintendents

2010-03-07T19:45:00.001-05:00

Ever wonder how a DS could be better connected to their churches and pastors? How about if we tripled the number of DSs so that in Western PA they would each serve about 30 churches?

Now before you get to excited and start talking about how we could never afford that hear me out.

What would happen if a DS actually served as one of the pastors in a cluster of churches and was expected to preach at least 40 Sundays a year? Even with 4 weeks' vacation and a week of serving at a camp for a week they would still have 7 Sundays to be in other local churches or travel for connectional business. What it would do is mean that not only was the DS living in the community in which their pastors were serving but they would have opportunity to know the churches and pastors at an unheard of level. They would also be able to keep in touch with what it means to serve at the local church level and meet the demands of local church ministry.

I have joked for years that when a new DS goes to Lake Junaluska for training in August after they start their sentence, I mean term, that they get a lobotomy and when they come back they no longer know their colleagues, friends or remember much about what it is like to serve as a local church pastor. Having spent many years in management before I became a pastor I understand the need to draw lines and separate yourself from those that work for you. I also know how important it is to keep in touch with those same people and to find ways to remain connected to those in the trenches.

Years ago when I was teaching management courses at the college level and managing a chain of auto parts and hardware store, there was a management technique that was being promoted that was called management by walking around. It meant that even senior level management would go out to the work place and talk to those closest to the customer or the production. While managing the chain of stores I made sure I practiced what I taught in my classroom and spent a lot of time talking to the people in the warehouses, on the sales floor and talking to my customers. I often learned things that I would have never learned sitting in my office or in meetings with other management staff.

The money we would save on housing and part time service as a DS would help us bring a new level of commitment to the local church that would have strong leadership of some excellent pastors that are often put in this leadership role. The Conference would no longer have to be in the parsonage business. It would mean that there needed to be more on line communication between the Cabinet but I believe that they would be far more effective when they did gather around the table if they were in intimate touch with the pastors and churches they supervise.

I am just asking us to be looking outside the box when we decide how to fulfill our call to "make disciples for Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world."

Bullying

2010-03-05T21:47:00.001-05:00

Last night I attended the Book and Buffet book discussion of Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult (I review it in Books Worth Reading Blog) with the PENNCREST school district. This was a part of their anti-bullying program and I was invited as a member of the faith community. It was great to meet people from the district and to know that they are working to deal with the problem of bullying in our school district.

I wonder how many of us are dealing with reality when it comes to the problem of bullying in our schools, athletic programs, and even our churches. This was brought home to me last week one day when I got a call that there was a fight going on down the street and when I drove up there were two young men in a fight and about 40 or 50 kids standing around watching including several that were videotaping the fight. I would like to think that we grow out of that kind of behavior but I am not so sure.

Bullying was not something we heard much about when I was a kid. Sure, there was the big kid that picked on the little kid from time to time but it had to be really obvious for anyone to even notice. Today our kids are learning that threatening remarks like "I am going to kill you" or "I am going to beat you up" are no longer acceptable. Things that we learned you just had to put up with if you were like me and small and weak such as being shoved in a locker or picked on by bigger boys was just part of growing up. Today we recognize that those actions do not have to be part of growing up.

I remember one of the older boys that I rode the bus with would give me a hard time and I would give it right back to him. More than once he punched me in the stomach and hurt me but I would have never thought of telling anyone. There was an older girl on the bus that used to give him a hard time about it but nobody ever said anything to anyone in authority.

Bullying can happen to girls too but it may be far more subtle and harder to see. Many times it is related to relationship issues and isolating someone, teasing or making fun of them.

For this to change in our local schools there will have to be change in some of our homes as well. How often do we treat children that do not meet our expectations or dreams with less respect than the ones that do. How often are we aggravated because our children are not living out our dreams for them.

I will be doing a lot of reflecting over the subject of bullying and hope you will too.

Leadership

2010-02-26T09:58:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I posted a question on FaceBook "does a leader need permission to lead?" This is not the first time I have posted this question either on FaceBook or on some other forum and I am always intrigued by the answers I get to that question. A number of things prompted this question this time. I am often prompted by a young person commenting on young people not being allowed or asked to be in leadership positions. Last week I was in a meeting with my Bishop where he talked about the lack of leadership in our Conference and the need to develop leaders that will take us into the future for the health of our church. I have been reflecting on that ever since and wondering about the number and quality of leaders in our Conference.

The first question I posted asks about who my FaceBook friends viewed as leaders in our Conference. I expected to start getting quick responses with names and maybe a story or two about how that person leads in their local church, District or the Conference or maybe even in the community in which they live. I knew that I would get some of our elected or appointed leaders included on that list such as the Bishop, District Superintendents and Conference elected leaders but was hoping that I would get a list of others that we viewed as leading us. I also hoped to see some names that I didn't know who they were and learn about how there is vast and great leadership in our Conference. It was not to be. There was almost no response and only one name I didn't already know.

This morning I spent some time looking at the definitions related to leadership and they are found at the end of this article if you are interested. While it can be a position or an office I would hope that those we choose to be leaders would be capable of leading! The first definition of the word lead is to guide on a way especially going in advance, in other words, breaking new ground, finding new paths and looking for new ways of getting somewhere or getting something done.

There seems to be a fear mentality that is pervasive not just in our churches but in many of our communities. We are afraid to step out and try something new or that might fail. We are afraid to break new ground, learn something new or take a different route. The fact is if you want to be a leader you can't wait for someone else to give you permission, tell you how or where to go, you have to lead the way!

The hard part is the risk we must take to lead and many of us are not willing to take the risk of rejection or pay the cost of doing something that might fail. As a Conference we are desperate for leaders, clergy and lay, which will take those risks and maybe even fail. It is not enough to call for change, ask others why we are not doing something to bring us to new life, or complain that someone else isn't doing what needs done for the church to be healthy. Believe me, I know how hard it is to lead but I also know that I have no right to complain about others when I am not willing to take the risks of leadership myself.

Years ago when I was thinking of running for school board someone ask me if I really thought I could make a difference very clearly believing I could not. My response was "I don't know but I know that sitting at home on the couch I will never make a difference and maybe it was time I took the chance that I might make a difference."

We call ourselves Christian, little Christ, and Jesus was a great model for us as one that took risks to make a difference in the community. He was often rejected by the appointed and elected leaders, at times by the people, but He made a difference that affects us yet today in so many ways.
How might you be being called to be a leader?

Lead·er·ship Pronunciation: \ˈlē-dər-ˌship\, Function: noun, Date: 1821, 1: the office or position of a leader 2 capacity to lead 3 the act or an instance of leading 4:leaders.

Lead·er Pronunciation: \ˈlē-dər\Function: noun Date: 14th century 1: something that leads: as a: a primary or terminal shoot of a plant b: tendon, sinew c plural : dots or hyphens (as in an index) used to lead the eye horizontally :
ellipsis 2 d chiefly British: a newspaper editorial e (1) : something for guiding fish into a trap (2) : a short length of material for attaching the end of a fishing line to a lure or hook f: loss leader g: something that ranks first h: a blank section at the beginning or end of a reel of film or recorded tape 2: a person who leads: as a: guide, conductor b (1) : a person who directs a military force or unit (2) : a person who has commanding authority or influence c (1) : the principal officer of a British political party (2) : a party member chosen to manage party activities in a legislative body (3) : such a party member presiding over the whole legislative body when the party constitutes a majority d (1) :
conductor c (2) : a first or principal performer of a group 3: a horse placed in advance of the other horses of a team — lead·er·less \-ləs\ adjective.

Lead Pronunciation: \ˈlēd\ Function: verb Inflected Form(s): led \ˈled\; lead·ing Etymology: Middle English leden, from Old English lǣdan; akin to Old High German leiten to lead, Old English līthan to go Date: before 12th century transitive verb 1 a: to guide on a way especially by going in advance b
: to direct on a course or in a direction c: to serve as a channel for <a pipe leads water to the house> 2: to go through : live <lead a quiet life> 3 a (1) : to direct the operations, activity, or performance of <lead an orchestra> (2) : to have charge of <lead a campaign> (3) : to suggest to (a witness) the answer desired by asking leading questions b (1) : to go at the head of <lead a parade> (2) : to be first in or among <lead the league> (3) : to have a margin over <led his opponent> 4: to bring to some conclusion or condition <led to believe otherwise> 5: to begin play with <lead trumps> 6 a: to aim in front of (a moving object) <lead a duck> b: to pass a ball or puck just in front of (a moving teammate)intransitive verb
1 a: to guide someone or something along a way b: to lie, run, or open in a specified place or direction <path leads uphill> c: to guide a dance partner through the steps of a dance 2 a: to be first b (1) :begin, open (2) : to play the first card of a trick, round, or game 3: to tend toward or have a result <study leading to a degree> 4: to direct the first of a series of blows at an opponent in boxing.

Definitions in this article can be found at http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/.

The Challenge for Church Leadership

2010-02-22T09:10:00.001-05:00

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about the challenges faced by those that are leading our church today, especially the United Methodist Church in which I serve as a pastor. During this season of appointment making in our system I always wonder what goes on in the cabinet gathering as they look at churches and pastor that either want to have a change or they have determined need a change.

Years ago when I first started on my journey to become a faithful, effective and fruitful pastor my District Superintendent, Glenn Kohlhepp, challenged the pastors and churches of the Butler District to pray and work together to become what God wanted them to be. He said there were too many pastors waiting for that next great appointment that would use their ministry skills and pay them what they were worth and too many churches waiting for that next great pastor that would bring in those young families and meet all the ministry needs of the congregation. It was time to stop waiting and begin working together, praying for each other and becoming all they envisioned for their future and to make it happen. I think that was maybe the best advice I ever heard as a pastor and have tried to live that out in each of my appointments. As a superintendent he lived that out as well, striving to make sure each pastor and each church had the resources they needed to be all they could be. I was always amazed at how well he came to know his churches and the pastors of the District and was not afraid to encourage or hold us accountable. He was also never afraid to recognize his weaknesses or call on others when he needed them.

What would happen if the Bishop and cabinet began holding churches and pastors accountable for fulfilling the mission that is the mission of every United Methodist Church in the world, "making disciples for the transformation of the world?" What if we told every church that in 3 years they could not be spending more than 40% of their budget on pastoral support, were expected to have a mission budget looking beyond their walls that was equal to 40% of their annual budget, the expectation would be for them to take in new members on profession of faith equal to at least 15% of their membership with an equal number of baptisms and that all apportionments would be paid in full?

What would happen if every pastoral move was expected to be a parallel move? In other words, when we move we would move at a salary no more than we are currently making, membership would be similar and the only way to improve our situation was to grow the place we were at, including starting new communities of faith?

While the numbers I used were arbitrary and would need modification I think that we need to start looking in new directions for the church to come alive as only God can do. It would take providing training and support for churches and pastors and we would have to recognize that some churches would close, some pastors would go to other careers and it would cause havoc in many places. Would it be worth those costs if many churches began to catch a new vision for making disciples for Jesus Christ?

I look forward to working on goals like these in my churches that God has given me the honor of being their pastor.

Virtual Church

2010-02-18T07:07:00.001-05:00

I have just spent the last hour looking at virtual churches from around the world! Some will laugh at this innovative way of reaching out into the world for Christ but I realize that if I want to expand my horizons I must be looking way out of my comfort zone for ways to connect with the unchurched world. I first became aware of the virtual church years ago when the Methodist Church of England created the Church of Fools. I have to admit I thought of it as an unimpressive video game and moved it to the back burner on my information matrix. Now I know that was a mistake.

I am reading a book called SimChurch by Douglas Estes that is giving me so much to think about what the next horizon will be. I know that many in the church today will decide that the virtual church is a passing fad or small market. Estes tells us that less than 1% of the 70,000,000 people living in the virtual world are being reached for Christ. Somehow that is a segment of the community that we cannot ignore. There are full internet communities out there. Since most of this world is still beyond the imagination of most of us old timers (that was hard to write) we will have to spend time learning about the innovations while at the same time remaining grounded in the scriptural foundations upon which the church was built.

There is a portion of the church community that will want to ignore this opportunity because it is evil or unholy in some way, just as I am sure there where those that wanted to ignore the printing press because the Word was meant to be written by hand. I am sure there were those that found the voice coming over the radio instead of in person as the voice of evil and thought that television would never impact the worship life of the church community. We all now know that these forms of communication are not inherently evil but can and are used to reach people for Christ and still have a tremendous impact on our churches.

Be aware! You will have to learn a new language to enter this world. One you many find more difficult than Greek, Hebrew or even English!

Why Blog?

2010-02-17T06:57:00.001-05:00

I have not written in my blog since December 2008 and that was one entry so it has been almost 2 years since I was writing regularly. When I started writing someone told me that I was being "provocative" and that in reality was the purpose of my blog. I wanted to give us things to make us think differently and outside the boxes we tend to want to put ourselves in. At the time I was serving a church that when I went there told me they wanted to be different and reach out into the community for Christ. They wanted to change and needed leadership to make that change come about. The reality was that those that controlled the money and held the power only wanted to appear to be willing to try new things. They were willing to allow something new as long as it didn't change anything they did or threaten their way of life and allowed them to be comfortable. I was so badly beaten up there that I lost the energy to write and be willing to put my ideas out there for others to read. I guess I feared the additional attacks.

Now that I am serving two new churches that others have led through the painful process of challenging ways of thinking I am starting to feel loved again and ready to take some risks here in my blog so that others can give me feedback and we can challenge one another. I read extensively, follow many on FaceBook, and use many other avenues to try and keep up on what is happening in the world to make disciples for Jesus Christ. Many of the ideas I write about here will be meant to provoke conversation and at times I will know that some people will not like what is here. I am ok with that!

I hope that those that read will think about what I am writing and become a part of a conversation that will further the Kingdom of God by finding new ways or refreshing old ways to make disciples for Jesus. I plan to write at least once a week and look forward to hearing from you.

Different Generations, Different Communications

2008-12-29T10:32:00.000-05:00

I am in Wampum visiting with my 74 year old mother for Christmas with Kerry and the kids. This morning as we sat around the table having coffee I had a very revealing conversation with my mother that point toward why the church is in trouble. We deny that change has taken place and that new way of communicating can be as effective as the old.

I was talking about how I have connected to so many people through the use of the internet and spend most of my time communicating with the younger generation on line. I very seldom see many of this generation in person except at social events or disciple growing opportunities. They do not very often attend traditional forms of worship. Many, however, will attend our service that is geared to helping people connect with each other and God through the use of more modern music and very non-liturgical worship. My mother thought it was terrible that I would take the time to type and spend all that time in front of the computer.

My mother is a church secretary and has served in that capacity through three very different pastors with very different approaches to ministry. I told her that even while I have been here since yesterday I have had communication with three of the younger generation from the church and they have all been on line. She proceeded to tell me how different the three pastor’s approaches to ministry have been while she has worked there. The first pastor, who has now been retired for number or years, and the second pastor, closer to my age, would come into the office and get on the phone and contact people by phone. They would call people and even pray with them on the phone, make an appointment to go see them and then later in the day go and visit them. The new pastor, one of our younger pastors, comes in and gets on his computer and spends the whole day in front of the computer.

I started probing about what the difference was in the makeup of the congregation in worship. This is a congregation that I have on occasion worshiped with including the Sunday after my father’s funeral in that church. During that service, very traditional with more modern elements, I noticed that there were a number of college age and many younger couples with children. The congregation is slowly changing to include many younger people. There is a cost to that change taking place that will make many very uncomfortable.

You see, this younger generation, communicated with modern technology including the internet, cell phones, texting and will include many new forms of sending a message that those of us of the older generation will have to either accept of not be able to connect. I have to admit that I am as uncomfortable with these changes as most of my generation. It has been a conscious decision on my part to find ways to communicate with these generations and find ways of sharing the gospel with them. I do know that like in every generation I have to build relationships with them in order to be able to do that. It means that I have to learn new technologies and spend time using that technology to stay connected and build those relationships.

My mother’s reaction was that it was ridiculous to spend hours on the computer doing that and that I should spend time with people. I told her that I stay connected with people all over the world this way including relatives and friends throughout the United States and friends in other parts of the world including Russia, Israel and several other countries. I pointed out that she uses her computer to connect with some of those same relatives and her friends. She told me that she checks her computer once a day at the end of the day or maybe three times a day if she is here all day. I ask her if she uses her phone to connect with people and of course she said yes. I can remember her being on the phone for hours when I lived here as she talked with her sister that she had just spent the day with or with one of her friends. I ask her why she answers her phone when it rings or why she doesn’t just leave it go to voice mail and check it once a day or three times a day when she is here. Is there really a difference?

I wonder how many of those that still use old technology remember when we used to go and actually visit people and spend time sitting and talking. When I was a kid we went frequently to visit friends and relatives and stayed connected that way. I notice that most people don’t do that anymore. You see we all adjust our way of living to do what we are comfortable with and then at some point often decide that we have changed enough and that allows others to pass us by. Most of us wouldn’t think of not answering our phone but think that those that use instant messaging or text messages should ignore those methods of communication.

I have also noted that even those that use new technologies will sometimes hold on to old habits without thinking of them. For example, when I am IMing with someone over 40 they often get offended if they think or assume that I am also IMing with someone else as if we were having a private phone conversation. Yet I often have many conversations going at the same time with those of younger generations that include many gaps in them and are picked back up as if there hadn’t even been a pause. It is a different way of doing the same thing we have always done, communicating.

Does the church really want to reach younger people? Do we want people that are different then us in our churches? Are we willing to do what it takes to reach generations that communicate in different ways then we are comfortable with? God will reach the new generations with the good news that Jesus is the way to a relationship with God and the peace that is hard to understand. There are churches that are overflowing with young energetic worshipers. Is your church communicating to the generations that it says it wants or does it only want those that will use the telegraph to connect? Does that question make you as uncomfortable as it makes me?

Parking or Passion

2008-05-16T07:29:00.000-04:00

I keep reading that parking is one of the keys to a successful church. I wonder if that is really true!

What got me to thinking was a trip to the mall last week to pick up something. I had to park several rows out from the nearest entrance and it was pouring down rain. I noticed that there were cars parked in many areas of the lot a long distance from the doors. People had to walk at least a block if not more to even enter the building.

Why are people willing to walk that far to enter the mall? I think the answer is simple! There is something in there they are willing to make the journey to enjoy or experience. Anyone who shops at the mall knows that it doesn’t have most convenient parking or the best prices. I think there are a number of reasons that people go to malls to shop. One is that they hope that they will find what they are looking for when they get there. It might not be the cheapest available or the easiest to find but they will go to the malls because there is a good chance what they want will be there somewhere. They also go there so that they can see their friends or maybe make a new one. If you don’t believe me, sit in the middle of the mall sometime and watch people interacting with each other. And lastly they like to buy from certain stores because it fits the image they want to personify.

Many people come to our churches expecting to find something there! They expect to come and experience God or too connect with friends. They are looking for something special when they come. Sometimes they want to be there and remain anonymous. The one thing that they all come looking for is acceptance and a sense of hope for the future. One other thought, are they concerned about the image they will have if they become part of your church?

Are people not returning to our churches because there is no parking or is because they don’t feel there is hope that their needs will be met? What would happen if every member of our churches parked far enough away that there were always open spots for visitors? When I worked in a retail store in the city I was told that if I was found parking in front of the store I would be looking for a job. Those spaces where for customers. I find it interesting when I see key leadership getting to the church early so they can get a prime parking space. Or worse yet, a reserve parking place right by the door for the pastor and other key leaders of the church.

More importantly what happens when they enter the door? Even Wal-Mart has someone great you when you enter the store. I find that many people enter our doors and are so uncomfortable because they don’t know what is expected of them and what they did expect is not there. I am amazed how often those attending for the first time are ignored or even have negative comments about them. In leading a seminar on being a welcoming church I send the participants out to visit other churches and report back on the experience. In one case, a young lady was criticized by a lady about how she was dressed. We need to learn to treat all that enter our doors with radical hospitality if we want them to return.

The fact is that parking is not the reason our churches are not full! It is the lack of passion for making students of Jesus. When we begin to become passionate about inspiring people to build a relationship with Jesus and therefore teaching them how to connect with God our churches will overflow with people even if they have to walk a block or two. Does your church inspire people to walk?

Still Learning

2008-05-13T08:17:00.001-04:00

Last Sunday we celebrated Pentecost and Mother’s Day with a brand new organ as part of the service. It is an electronic organ that delivered on its promise to sound like a pipe organ that it replaced. I was amazed as we listened to it for the first time. Someone said to me afterward, “You can even hear the air going through the pipes!” The fact is that you can hear the air going through the pipes because each note is a digital recording of a pipe organ. It is amazing!

Even more amazing to me was a conversation that I had with our organist on Monday morning. She had worked very hard to provide excellent music for us with only a short time to practice on the new organ since the final installation had only been completed at 2 p.m. on Saturday. As we talked she told me how excited she was to start taking lessons on the new organ. Her instructor was going to start coming to the church to give her lessons.

You might not think much about that, but we will celebrate this December her 40th anniversary as our organist. She has been an organist for 70 years. It is wonderful to see the excitement in her about learning new things. Made me reflect on that fact that many of us think that our learning is over when we finish school and that we know what we are doing. When I was teaching at the college level I always told my students that my goal was that I would inspire in them a desire to be lifelong learners. I couldn’t teach them enough in the short time we were together about the subject matter to make it relevant for the rest of their lives. They would have to continue to read and seek out knowledge in whatever field they decided to pursue.

In the 35 years that I have been a Christian, I have learned how little I really know. The more I learn the more I understand that I am only touching the tip of the possibilities. I read extensively and almost every book I read leads to at least one other book that I want to read. I am always looking for that tidbit of information that will make me a stronger disciple and disciple maker. Like my organist I want to continue to learn and be inspired so that I can find new ways of connecting to the world around me.

This week I have learned new things about an organ, been inspired by a woman to never think I know enough, and have grown more excited about the possibilities of what God has to teach me yet.

Willing to Die

2008-05-04T18:49:00.000-04:00

In Luke 24 Jesus tells his disciples “whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake, he is the one who will save it.” As I was reading that passage in a book by Bishop Schnase on risk-taking mission and service, it got me to thinking about what would happen if our churches began to live out that challenge by Jesus. Many of us challenge our congregations to live a risk taking life and to trust God to meet our needs. We don’t hesitate to ask our people to stretch in their giving and to respond to needs of the church.

I believe that Jesus was challenging us to live fully for God. If we try and hold on to even a small piece of our life then we haven’t decided to trust God with everything we have. Are we willing to trust God in the church enough to realize that some things, even churches, need to die to self in order for the church to know new life?

In order to serve God fully we must be willing to die to self and live fully for God. That means the old self must die so that new life can come. Jesus tells us that the willingness to give up our life for his sake would mean that we saved our life. I have always looked at this as a promise related to eternal life. Now I am beginning to think that Jesus was also talking about this life as well. When we die in living for ourselves so that we can really sell ourselves out for Jesus we must give up things that seemed so important to us in the past.

My life has changed dramatically as I have learned to die to self in order to serve my God in all areas of my life. That change has not always been easy and at times it has been very difficult for me to give up some things. Every time I have watched some part of my life die in order to more faithfully serve my Lord I have found that I understand anew that my life has been saved.

What would happen if our churches began to live as if it believed their life wasn’t their own but God’s? What would it mean for the church to die to self so that it might live? Would it mean that we had to give up thinking about what we like? Would it mean giving up thinking about how to use our money to keep the doors open and how we can impact the world for Jesus with it? Would it mean thinking not about how we can connect with God in our church but how we can help people not in a relationship with God connect to God?

The church is not a building, but the people that make it up. When we think about that we realize that for the church to die to self we must die to self. If the church is going to live it must be living for Jesus. When the church, the people, live and love like Jesus they begin transforming the world in the name of Jesus. Others can’t help but be attracted to the life of those that have been touched by the hand of God. All it takes is a willingness to die!

Come and See

2008-05-03T13:43:00.001-04:00

I am getting ready to use the words of Jesus when he was asked where he was staying, “come and see”, in a series of messages for the Haven service on Saturday nights at Kingsley UMC. On Saturday night we do worship differently than most of us are used to. We call it Worship that Rocks! In the 21 months that I have served this church and I have been fascinated to see many people that would never enter a traditional service. It has been growing and we are seeing new people almost every week. Like most services many people are not there every week.

For the first time in my ministry I have gotten a complaint that I never thought I would hear. “Why isn’t the service longer?” is a complaint I hear on a regular basis at this service. And it is already a service that goes over an hour on a regular basis. There are other churches coming and at least three other churches have started services using ideas they have gotten from the Haven.
As I talk to new people each week I always ask how they heard about the Haven. Almost every time they tell me that someone told them they needed to “come and see” what was happening on Saturday nights at the Haven. In one case a young woman that I met on MySpace and invited to join us came one night last fall and brought a friend with her. They started coming on a regular basis and soon her friend was bringing her sister. A couple of weeks ago her friend brought another friend and the sister brought two friends. I went out to dinner with them afterward and her friend’s friend that was there for the first time was telling me she was thinking of a couple of friends that she wanted to invite to “come and see” what we were doing.

We also started doing a Karaoke Night one Friday a month and an Open Mic Night one Friday a month. These nights allow us to reach out and meet people that are not connected to a church. On Monday nights we offer free guitar lessons. On Election Day we open the Haven across the hall from the polls and offer coffee and pastries. Every election it has led to a connection to at least one person that visits us for something at the church. One afternoon I had to leave for a short time and when I got back one of the poll workers that I have gotten to know was giving a voter a tour of the Haven and telling them that they had to “come and see.” We are connecting in ways that are outside the ordinary. It has led to a number of stories in the paper.

As I think about it people were frequently telling others to come and see Jesus. At times they were telling people to come and see what Jesus was doing, healing, teaching or praying. They were excited because of something they had experienced with Jesus. They couldn’t help but want to go and tell others what they had experienced and witnessed. They didn’t have to make anything up.

How many of our churches are doing things that people are telling others “come and see”.

More importantly, what is happening in our churches that people connect with Jesus in such a way that they can’t wait to go and tell others to “come and see” what God is doing in this place? Every day I see God working in the lives of people in amazing ways. We have been attracting people that many other churches have made to feel unwanted and rejected. God is at work in our midst and it is exciting to see.

My prayer is that people will continue to hear what is happening in our midst and they will “come and see” what God is doing. If that is not happening in your church, what would have to change to get people excited enough to want to tell others?

Wake Up Church

2008-04-13T18:10:00.001-04:00

We keep pretending that we know what we are doing don’t we? Those of us that have been a part of the church for many years act like we know what we are doing. I don’t think so anymore. Sometimes, I think most of us are completely clueless as to how to impact the world for Jesus.

The other day one of my friends posted the following blog:

I’ve been doing alot of thinking lately, not just in the ’I’m turning 30
this year’ mode, more general due to some situations I’ve been involved in
throughout the past few years. I haven’t come up with much so far, just
rethinking who I thought I was. For instance, I used to consider myself a
Christian, but I don’t claim to be that anymore. I do still believe
God exists, but due to my own experiences with the church and with ’fellow
christians’ I have no desire to be lumped into a group with most of them.
I can’t tell you how many meetings I’ve been to with Ministers and District
Superintendents and Bishops who sit there bitching and moaning about, "What
can we do to start bringing more people back into the church?! Oh!
Let’s have another rummage sale!" Here’s a thought, start actually acting
like christians when you’re outside of church (for that matter, start acting
like it when you’re IN church!) And for clarification, this DOES NOT
mean browbeating people with your own judgements on their life or cramming your
beliefs down peoples throats. If you’re really a christian, people
should be able to see it in the way you act towards others and in the way you
live your life. The Methodist Church has this great advertising
campaign, "Open Hearts, Open Minds, Open Doors" unfortunately, in the 29
years I’ve been affiliated with the church I have only seen one church that
even comes close to living up to this. I don’t have a point, like I said,
I’m just bitter about some stuff lately and I feel like
ranting. I’ll probably add more to this over the next few days
but for now that’s all I have the energy to write.

If we think this is just someone that doesn’t know what they are talking about or not aware of what is happening in the church, think again! This is a preacher’s kid, (PK) that has lived the life at home and paid the price for the demands in the church in ways that we can’t even imagine. I don’t blame them for feeling this way. This is their experience and it is real. They have lived the life of a pastor from the inside and now are looking at it from the outside.

As I read the comments on her blog by others her age they were all in agreement with her on what the church is like today. They put on some of their own stories as to how the church has no idea how to connect with them and doesn’t appear to care. We can continue to ignore this kind of reaction or we can decide that we are going to start asking what needs to change for us to become a place of trust, grace and hope again. This is what I have been reading about his generation in the last few months. I have been out finding ways to connect outside the church with this generation and what I hear is not encouraging.

In the book UnChristian by Kinnaman, published by the Barna Group, is a detailed study of those between 16 and 29. It confirmed what I have been hearing in these conversations. They feel they cannot trust the church. We preach and teach one thing and then live another way both inside and more importantly outside the church. I love the title of a book by Dan Kimball, They Like Jesus But Not the Church, that talks about this generation and how they view the church.

In my message at the church I preached at this morning I started by saying “Good morning church!” There was a resounding “Good Morning” in both services. I was speaking at another church as part of a pulpit rotation. I wonder if we understand that we are the church to those that are both in and outside the church, especially to those outside the church. When we proclaim ourselves as the church we better be prepared to be the church both inside and out of the building.

As my friend tells us in their blog, and I hear when I talk to so many outside the church, we are not known for being the face of Jesus to the world. Does anything have to change in your church for the world to see the grace and love of Jesus?

The New Old Boy Network

2008-04-11T06:38:00.001-04:00

I need to spend more time with our younger clergy! What a breath of fresh air!

Last week while having lunch with one of our younger clergy, I was refreshed to see they were not buying into the new old boy network. Yes, I said that right, the “new old boy network.” I can remember about 15 years ago talking about the old boy network and thinking that I was not a part of it. I was shocked to realize that I had allowed myself to become a part of a new old boy network. The interesting thing is the new network includes women so I guess I need to find a new name for what looks just like the old but with a different group of people. Maybe I should call it the “old church network.”

While sharing lunch they shared with me their frustration in not having anyone to share their ideas with and talk about them. It was clear to me that they felt that the “more mature” clergy didn’t have time for them or were not truly supportive of their ministry. I think what really is happening is that we are not listening to them and helping them develop their ideas. In the Lewis Center report this week it talks about the need for younger clergy in our system so that they bring the energy and the ability to connect to their generation.

I have watched excellent younger clergy come through the system, be ordained, and then leave for another denomination or become disillusioned and leave the ministry completely. There are not enough young clergy entering our system to fill the needs of the future church. We need to make changes and begin to listen to our younger clergy friends. Wait a minute; we need to make sure we have younger clergy friends first. I plan to make sure I connect with more of this new generation and learn from them.

What got me thinking about this was a suggestion from my young friend that we should appoint younger clergy in clusters where they can support one another and share ideas, problems, joys, struggles and the life of ministry. Wow! What a novel idea. Who would ever think of appointing clergy to an area where there is a support base and the ideas to touch the world could feed off of one another? It would be wonderful to be appointed in the middle of one of these clusters so that we could learn from them. Guess that would be a novel idea too, us old timers, learning from the young.

Oh my, just writing this is making me feel old. My presence here through MySpace, Facebook and now blogs is starting to open my eyes to new possibilities. I hope some of my new young friends will continue to open my eyes to new worlds that I have been missing. I hope some other members of the new old church network will join me on this journey.

The “Used To” church

2008-04-08T17:32:00.001-04:00

When I first arrived at Kingsley UMC in August of 2006 and began to go out and meet people in the community, I constantly heard about things that the church used to do. People would tell me that they used to go to that church. They remember when we used to have concerts. They used to be part of the youth program. They used to go there when they were kids. I started thinking of it as the “used to” church. We were better known for what we used to do instead of what they were doing now.

Some churches haven’t figured out that they can no longer be known for what they used to be. The decline of the church has come about mainly because after years of doing what it took to make disciples they started getting comfortable and forgetting what they were about. Instead of making disciples and growing the Kingdom we stopped being creative and began to work at keeping ourselves happy. We are quickly reaching a point where we can no longer afford to do that. Unless we refocus we will become the church that used to be on that corner, in that town or in that building.

Some of what needs to be done is we just need to let people know what we are doing. It is a real mistake to assume that people in your community know what you have going on. When I do my church welcoming workshop I send people out to the nearest locations that people would stop and ask directions at. Places like gas stations, convenience stores, the police or fire station or even people on the street that you would hope know where you are located. This is a real eye opener for many of them. Most come back and report that not one of them could identify them by name.

I have learned that I need to make connections with the local media, school districts, police and fire departments and community groups in order to reverse a trend of disconnect with the community. This does two things for me. First, it allows me to begin to learn what they see as the needs and assets of the area that they live and work in. Second, it allows me to begin to share the story of the church I serve. My job then is to help the two organizations to find ways to work together and make a difference in the lives of people.

The truth is that you don’t have to be doing a tremendous amount of work to start becoming known as a church that is doing things for your community. At Kingsley, we have made sure we take advantage of our connections with the newspapers, radio and TV stations to get our name out there when we are offering an event or new ministry. We are also doing other things to build visibility and connect by hosting community groups like the neighborhood watch, girl scouts and AA. We are doing some creative outreaches like Open Mic Night and Karaoke night in our coffee house ministry area. Signs are also a key communicator.

Last fall we started a new program after school for kids in the 1st through 6th grades we call STARS. This program provides for some help with homework and then using the arts, we help the kids learn new skills and build new friendships. They learn musical instruments, songs, drama and arts and crafts along with sign language and dance. We have had two performance nights where the community had a chance to see the kids and the kids had a chance to be the star. During our last term we had over 30 kids involved and the night of their performance we had between 175 and 180 people show up for the show. What a wonderful way to connect to the community.

This week one of the mothers of one of our “stars” called and asked if I would conduct her wedding this summer. This will give me an opportunity to connect with them during premarital counseling and the wedding in ways that would have never been open to me before. People are beginning to come to us with ministry ideas and opportunities. It is an exciting time.

Every week we have visitors to one of our three very different services that we offer as a result of our work to connect with the people of our community. Some will stay and others will continue to look for their faith connection in other places but we have had an opportunity to touch their lives here. It has been a long time since I heard the words “that is the church that used to” and now I hear people talk about what we are doing or refer to it as “the church that always has something going on in it.”

What is your church known for?

Marrying into the Church Family

2008-04-06T19:19:00.001-04:00

How many times have you heard of a congregation referring to itself as a family? I have been thinking of the dynamics of this lately as I have worked with a number of churches that are in conflict or struggling to do ministry. Just because someone becomes a member of the family does not mean that they are made a part of the family life.

I had one man tell me he had married into the church family more than 20 years ago but had never really felt like he was accepted. He had obvious leadership skills but held no official office or leadership positions. This was in a church that the leadership told me how tired they were since they had to do all the work and there was no one else to do it. It was interesting that when this man and others were asked, they were thrilled to take a leadership role.

We all know someone that has married into a family but was never really treated like family. They are invited to family functions but are not asked to be part of the decision making in the extended family. They are expected to help when something needs done and be present at all events but it is made clear that their opinions are not that important. This can go on for years without change.

In the church we have people marry into the family and we also adopt people and call them part of the family. But what are the limitations that are placed on people before they are allowed to assume leadership in the church family. Is there a need to have been there for years? Does someone have to die? Is there some ritual or level of financial commitment that need to be met before you are allowed to enter the leadership ranks? Are we open to new ideas or new ways of doing things.

We need to be continually looking for those that have joined in with the family but have never been made feel like a part of the family. Until we do we are missing tremendous resources that God has placed right in our midst. There are many that are in our church that may not be able or want to be a part of the leadership, but would make excellent resources to do ministry. Sometimes we even ought to look at the black sheep of the family and see how they can be used by God to reach people. If we believe that each person is a child of God then we need to look for new ways for them to be a part of a healthy family life.

Usually when I tell the church leadership that I am finding that their church includes people that have been there for years but still do not feel like a part of the family, they look at me like I am nuts. They want to know how anyone could not feel a part of their family. After all, they have been welcomed and we are friendly to them. They never volunteer to do anything and become a part of the life of the church. We don’t think that we may have to ask them the first, if we truly want them to feel like they are a part of the family. We think the responsibility is theirs.

When I do my “Welcome to My Church” seminar I am always amazed how many people think the fact that they feel friendly they are welcoming to outsiders. Someone asked me the first day of one session how we were going to talk about being friendly for nine hours. When I ask her if being friendly and welcoming was the same thing she thought for a few seconds. “Why do I think that you are going to tell me that it is not?” That was the beginning of a learning experience. We need to look at the assumptions we are making and then see if we can’t find ways to truly bring people into the family of God. What kind of family would your church be if Jesus came to visit?

Urban Legends

2008-03-29T08:49:00.000-04:00

Today I received another of those e-mails that passed on a claim that some company was producing a product that was a danger to our lives. As I do when I have time I ran it through Google and quickly found that it had no basis in fact. One thing I have learned is that I NEVER pass them on unless I can document them as fact, no matter who they come from. I often have great respect for the person that sent it to me and know that they are people of integrity and someone I trust. When I take the time to do a little checking I find that about 99% of these are not based on fact or only tell part of the story. I often send an e-mail back documenting the fact that this is a hoax.

This got me to thinking about what happens in the church. Someone we trust tells us something about someone else in the church and because of who it came from we assume that it is true. We then pass that story on as fact to someone else. How many times have you seen one of these stories spread throughout the church body and cause great harm? How many times have you later learned that the story was in fact not true or only part of the story? I have been both hurt by these stories and seen the destructive power of the untruthful word. And, if I am honest, I have passed some of these on myself.

I am slowly learning, after 50 years, that I need to take a few minutes to check out a story before I assume that it is true and pass it on. Call the people that are supposed to be the source and find out more about the story. It is amazing what happens when I talk to the people that will be hurt if I pass this on without checking it out. I almost always learn there is more to the story. When I take the time to do this I save myself the embarrassment of later having to go back and say I was wrong. Or worse yet, ignoring the fact that I passed on something that wasn’t true and if and when others find out my integrity is hurt.

Many times when I start checking out one of these stories I find that someone that is unhappy has gone to someone and told a story that was meant to hurt. We all know someone that if we want a story passed on we can go to and know that it will become part of the gossip mill within minutes. As often happens in any organization that person passes it on and maybe adds something to it or “forgets” a fact. Once it gets to those that are respected and trusted it starts to be treated as truth.

At one time the church was known to be a place that you could come to seek out truth. When people become a part of your church, is the way that people treat each other tell them that this is a place of truth? In the internet world these e-mails have become known as urban legends and are fairly easy to check out. How much effort would it take to check out a story before we passed it on?

As a pastor in my denomination we have a committee known as the Pastor Parish Relations Committee (PPR) that is to be my support group in the life of the church. I always tell them they are to be my eyes and ears to the life of the congregation. I also tell them that I will listen to any complaint that comes to them as long as the source is identified. If the source is not willing to be identified then I will not listen to the complaint. This often causes anger and resentment, but I cannot deal with things I cannot get to the source of. If I do not do this then I have to guess where it might have come from or treat everyone as if they are the source. This is not fair to anyone.

Before I entered the ministry I served in many roles in the life of my church including lay leader and chairman of the PPR. One thing I learned was that the person that came to me with a story that they didn’t want to be identified with usually was not based in fact. When they said they didn’t want to cause trouble, I knew that was exactly what they wanted to do, and if I passed on that story I had to then own it.

In the internet world these stories have become known as urban legends. The church is full of its own urban legends, some that make it look better and some that destroy it.