Jeff Church

Beautiful Baby Is Here!

2012-04-20T08:06:00.000-06:00

This post is a tad late as our focus has turned over to the baby; simply couldn’t find the time to jump on the computer to make a post. I will give a rundown of the birth story with a much better story coming soon from the lovely, strong, beautiful and talented Wife Lady.

So, the last post covered the successful version that got the little baby turned into the correct position. That seemed to have kick started things, as labor pains began just 3 days later and over a week before the due date. We went to visit friends in the hospital that had just had their beautiful little girl at noon on Saturday the 14th, and Lauren was just then beginning to have some cramping but nothing to serious she assured me. Later that evening we went to a birthday party for a longtime friend and pre-labor began, and we informed our Doula Kyndal of the situation. On our way home from the birthday party, we were falling into the prelude and rented a movie and got Lauren setup with some things to keep her hands busy… not really necessary. As we quickly found out, Lauren wasn’t going to have the typical pre-labor scenario as her contractions were right around a minute long, and roughly four minutes apart for what would be the next twenty hours. Home from the party, and now 1am we made the call again to Kyndal, and she ended up coming over in the middle of the night because the contractions were so close together and intense. By 8am, we all agreed to go in to get check and determine where Lauren was at, only to return home to labor for another 10 hours until returning to the hospital Sunday evening and being admitted at 4.5 cm.

Lauren is a rock, and for the next 7-8 hrs I fully understood that men cannot do what I witnessed that evening and morning. All natural birth, no meds, no IV, nothing but a hep-lock just in case. Rock. Late into the evening, Lauren had only progressed to 5cm, and our doctor asked if we would like to have her water broken to spur along progress. All of our reactions were the same, kind of that ‘ehh’ look across the board and Kyndal informed us of the pluses and minuses of the procedure. God made Himself known in the next hour, and showed that He was in total control of the situation. We made the decision to see where Lauren was in 1 hour; if she hadn’t progressed then we would discuss further. 1 hour later, 7cm as I could picture God being with Lauren simply saying “I got this.” Into the early morning hours, my roll as the husband and soon to be dad began to feel less important as I simply had no words that I felt would comfort Lauren so I sat at the edge of her bed and prayed. Kyndal knew, and kept going with Lauren keeping her focus and praying with her. At 3:29am, our beautiful baby girl was born and had to spend about 20-30 with the NICU team due to some meconium in the womb.

Happy and healthy we all were up in our recovery room just a few hours later trying to function on no sleep for the past two nights. We truly appreciated our doctor, our delivery room nurse, our nurses in recovery but of all that support most importantly our Doula Kyndal. Kyndal was such an important component of our successful natural birth, and Lauren was a stronger women because of her. My wife is absolutely amazing, my new baby girl is incredible and God is SO FAITHFUL to prayer and showing Himself and making His presence known in our lives.

Wherever He leads, we will follow. “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

Scary Moments Turn To Pure Joy

2012-04-12T08:05:00.000-06:00

I have taken some time off from the blog, and yes I know I really just got started. It is amazing how you realize that you can run out of stuff to talk about before the baby is born. The Wife Lady is just now at 38.5 weeks, which means that we have a countdown of 1.5 weeks left until the due date. The amount of kicks and movements have been amazing over the past number of weeks and we have all of our items in order, bags packed for the most part and our 1 route to the hospital mapped out (if you know our proximity to the hospital you can chuckle at that). There are just a few more things that need to be done; I have to get the car seat installed and ready to go, and lastly, I have to get my heart ready.

My heart was tested this week as we found out that our beautiful little baby was breech, and were forced with the decision of whether or not to have the doctor manually turn her less than 18 hours after we had found out… needless to say, I wasn’t mentally prepared for this. We talking about it all day, and opted to wait a week to allow her to turn on her own. The day came, Tuesday of this week and she had not turned, so we were scheduled for a version procedure yesterday. I have to say, I was the mess and the mommy was the rock. We went in for the procedure and were happy to be accompanied by our great doula. My wife is one of the strongest people that I know; the procedure happened, she was calm and collected, the baby was turned successfully to which mommy was ecstatically happy followed by the statement, “it really wasn’t that bad.” No pain meds for her either as the doctors hands nearly disappeared into her belly to move our baby girl to where she needed to be.

All of that is done for now, small contractions are beginning to happen and every time that my wife makes a peep I just sit there and stare at her waiting for go time. God is amazing for what He is doing in our lives, getting our baby turned was truly an answer to prayers.

Where Are You Placing All Of Your Focus?

2012-01-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we celebrated my Grandmother’s 80th birthday, and it was a great celebration of her life with all of the family. Prior to the event it made me think about the role that grandparents, parents and other play in the development of their children and the soon-to-be new little grand-baby. We take so much time out of our day to focus on work, hobbies, reality TV, so called role models, politicians and forget to focus and be grateful for the things, and people in life that truly matter. How much time have we spent in the past month watching political debates, or reality TV shows and not focusing on those people that have been instrumental in shaping our lives from the minute that we entered this world? I would say entirely to much, and I am as much to blame as anyone else. Ask yourself this question: when it is all said and done, did it benefit you more to catch the episode of The Biggest Loser or to spend that our with your grandparents, parents or even on Skype/FaceTime with a sibling?

The more I have thought about this over the past few hours it makes me kick myself for having wasted so much time on things that truly do not matter. This may be my first call to action post since the inception of this blog… quit being that person that puts so much time and effort into activities that have no redemptive value. Step away from the TV and spend time with people that are important in your life. Sooner rather than later for dads-to-be, this simply is not an option… your little one needs you, they don’t need to hear ESPN or video games echoing through the house while dad wastes more and more time. Shut that stuff off and read, sing or simply be with your newborn, be with family, friends and most importantly with Christ. All of that time spent doing those things will be so very beneficial; your little baby will thank you later, your family and friends will thank you now and Christ was asking you yesterday.

Simply be without ______________, and spent time with _______________.

Hospital Tour and The Nursery

2012-01-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

This last weekend, the Wife Lady and I went and toured the hospital where we will have our little girl. Through the first half of the tour, I was mainly checking boxes and mapping out the locations. Basically playing the man role, wife goes here, car goes here, husband eats here, etc. We made our way into the 2nd floor birthing rooms, and it started to get a little bit more real seeing where we would be in three short months. We then went up the elevator to the 8th floor, the “recovery floor”. What the nice nurse didn’t tell us before we made it to the top floor was that it included the nursery.

That was an amazing dad moment for me. We stood at the window of the nursery and saw 3-4 tiny little babies that the nurse was carry for. We even saw one of the little ones get her hand and foot prints taken! This event took me to the next level in being ready to be a dad, and I can’t wait for that day when our little girl is here. Those of you that are already parents most likely had a moment like this, but I can’t imagine what it is going to be like when I am holding her… you know what ice cream does on a hot summer day?

Also, not but two days later, late in the evening I felt her moving around but it was much different this time. It was more than just bumps, and I could actually feel true movement such as an elbow, knee or foot. It was amazing; not sure that I have gasped that many time in the span of two minutes in my entire life!

Grow strong little girl, with perfect arms, legs, heart and lungs and we hope that you can hear our voices when we pray for you every night.

Paint, Furniture and the Countdown

2012-01-05T08:03:00.000-07:00

It has been a few weeks since the last post; have been having a bit of a brain freeze on content but some requests for a new post spurred me into action. Over the last few weeks we have been making an effort to get the nursery all put together, and I busted out my man card, glued some pink frillies on it and went to work putting together some furniture and painting an accent wall. The wall turned out great, as you can see from the photo! Now it is just a matter of getting everything organized in the tiny confines of 900 sg ft.

When it was just the two of us (anyone else think of Will Smith?) we seemed to have plenty of space, the only thing that I felt we were lacking was a garage, as we have a measly carport with lack of storage space. With baby girl on the way, we are making things work and taking lots of things that we don’t really need to different charities. So, with paint on the wall, furniture popping up in white and pink and a great maternity coat wrapped around the belly we are nearing the point of starting the countdown. Today we are at 109 days left, but I will start the official countdown when we hit 100 days.

Today is my birthday but I keep finding myself thinking about our little babies birth and how much more important that is. Ah, how times change from back in the day when birthdays were everything and you thought about them all year long; now they come and go, and you are officially a year older. I told Lauren this morning that I only have 365 more days in my twenties, however, I have said for many years now that I have no fear of being 55 with grey hair… I liken it to having more knowledge and wisdom.

With that, kick away little one and may you continue to grow and develop by the perfect design of our Maker. We are praying for you, and He will continue to watch over you until we get to meet you face to face.

Tiny Little Space Taker-Upper

2011-12-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

This last week has been great, and busy. Which means that I haven’t posted anything up for a while. My best friend was in town for a week, the one that has been in Hawaii for the past 3 months. We were out to breakfast one morning with @jeremyseick and @monmouthking when the conversation came up about how much space a little tiny baby can take up in her new nursery, which then led to realizing just how much space she takes up in my heart. Our little baby is 21 weeks along, and already I have more love for her than I knew I could have. I can’t even imagine what it is going to be like when I hold her for the first time!

This has to be just a little piece of understanding God’s love for us. We have no way to comprehend God, and His remarkable and unending love for us but I have to believe that the love that I am feeling for my unborn little baby is something like that. No matter what we do, how far we stray, or how distant we become from God, His love for us is unending and unbreakable. This is the love that a new dad must have; there are going to be tough times and struggles in the future as a dad, and I must always remember I am loved by God and as His follower I will show that same love to my child. Do we test that love we receive from God? Generally yes, and will our family’s love be tested at some point down the road, sure. Will it ever be broken? As God’s love for us will never be broken, neither will ours.

Help! I’m An Overwhelmed Dad

2011-12-03T08:01:00.000-07:00

Over the past few days, through the Thanksgiving holiday we were unbelievably blessed by family with gifts, baby clothing and any other item that you can think of. We were very appreciative of all of these things that are going to make our lives even that much better when the baby arrives. With all of these amazing gifts and showings of generosity then started the feeling of being overwhelmed with change. Much of this change comes with the drastic change in the amount of items that have been entering the house, and also the number of items that must leave the house to make room. Over time, there have been thousands and thousands of new dads that have experienced this I am sure, but it made me start to think about actions that can be taken to alleviate some of that stress and feeling of being overwhelmed.

My first course of action was simply removing the old; if it hasn’t moved in 3-6 months, just get rid of it. This is an obvious sign that you don’t care about it, and certainly don’t use it. Choose a corner of the babies nursery that that are working on organizing and dedicate that corner to these items, which I would suggest be taken to a charity of your choice. From my experience, the item in a home that tends to get to this point the most often is clothing. Aside from holding onto certain clothes because of the change in seasons, get unattached from those items you don’t wear and get them to someone who can truly appreciate them.

Break a sweat. I will be the first one to admit that I don’t do this nearly enough, but when I get into a workout by the end I feel like a different person. It is amazing what a little adrenaline and sweat can do to change the outlook on your current situation. Now don’t go out there and get a gym membership, not necessary. Just take 15 minutes and utilize those stairs in your house if you have them to get your heart rate up and then finish it off with as many sit ups and push ups you can accomplish. Handled.

How many times have you simply stopped and thought about the good things that are going on in your life? Oddly enough, when you change your line of thinking your stress seems to dissipate and you can find yourself feeling better in no time flat. This one works for me; I stop and allow myself to realized how blessed I really am.

Maybe give these a shot, or search around and find some others that might work for you. This is going to be one of the most amazing times in a new dads life, don’t let stress take away from that.

Change “Black Friday” To “Match Friday”

2011-11-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Today doesn’t necessarily bring out the best quality of a person. Seeing fights in stores, and people dashing for things that, ultimately, they don’t truly need. I wrote about this issue in a previous post, yet now that it is the day my feeling towards consumerism and black Friday have not changed. Lauren and I took the opportunity this week to get involved in a charity effort with a local business to provide items for a family; without this effort they wouldn’t have had anything for Christmas this year.

The more and more I hear about all of these epic sales that happen after Thanksgiving it makes me want to have less and give more. Consider this, a new game for the PlayStation 3 can cost upwards of $60 and those that play it will most likely lose interest in a matter of months, or possibly weeks. I can see that there are really two options; take that money and do something better with it, or go ahead and buy that game but match the amount to do something meaningful for someone else. There was a great post at Mama Goes Natural that displayed a perfect example of this generosity, make a purchase but match it.

Let’s make a concerted effort to change ‘Black Friday’ to ‘Match Friday’, and maybe by next Thanksgiving we can really make something happen. Thanks to @MamaGoesNatural for a great post, and inspiration!

The Mashed Potato Incident Of ’87

2011-11-24T07:58:00.000-07:00

Since today is Thanksgiving, I thought it appropriate to tell a little story. Back in the day, I was arguably the world’s most picky eater. There were a few times that I sat at the dinner table much longer than the rest of the family because I wouldn’t eat my food, and plates must be empty before you leave the table. I tested this rule, and as you can see from the photo it became to much for me to handle on that infamous Thanksgiving of 1987. As a four-year-old, I am not sure what I intended to accomplish by taking the plate of mashed potatoes and styling my hair, possibly a new trend? I know one thing for certain, I didn’t eat those mashed potatoes that day, but I most certainly never did it again!

Happy Thanksgiving to all who read this new blog. I am thankful for the opportunity to have such a lovely wife, a healthy baby on the way, and amazing family to share the journey with.

Where In The World Did My Baby Come From?

2011-11-23T07:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat an thought about where your baby is actually coming from? I am not talking biologically or physically, but historically. Heritage seems to be a lost focus these days, possibly because there is focus on efforts to be a proud American. We all came from somewhere, and I find it fascinating to think about the roads traveled to get to the point of the new life that Lauren and I are about to bring into this world.

Family from Germany, Sweden, Nicaragua and England and a few other locations went through a course of events for us to get to this point. Shovels moved dirt to build foundations for home to protect those families, jobs were worked everyday to put food on the tables of those before us that ultimately led to our existence. For instance, take my family tree as an example. What would have been different over the course of time if my Great-great-great Grandfather Wilhelm wouldn’t have made his way out of Germany in 1866? There are so many other examples of points in time that could have made a drastic difference to our existence. I believe the photo is circa 1880.

I will admit that this post topic may sound a bit over the top, so what it the takeaway? Show appreciation to those that gave you the opportunity to have your new little baby; parents, grandparents and other family members should get a little thanks from you this time of year. Think of how much those older than you would appreciate you telling them you are thankful for all of their hard work and perseverance throughout the years, after all they are the reason you are where you are today.

Break Down The Walls Into Daddyhood

2011-11-22T07:56:00.000-07:00

This morning I had a thought about the roll of a dad to his kids, and was reminded of an episode of Mad Men. In this episode, Don Draper had made his way to the hospital with his wife and was split off to spend the evening in the waiting room. How times have changed; now it is expected that the dad-to-be be present in the room, coach his lovely wife and the newest one that I have heard, catch the baby. I am not sure that I will make it as far as catching the baby, but I will most certainly be in the room providing all of the encouragement that I can. I will say this; I like the steps of action that are being taken by more and more dads these days, mainly focusing on the issue of being present and breaking down the stereotypical walls of the past such as just mentioned, or simply putting to much interest in yourself or others outside of your own home.

I myself am going to make a very concerted effort on a daily basis to put the needs of my wife and baby before mine. This, in my opinion, is one of the most important factors in the transition to daddyhood. I had said a few years ago before we had decided to start having children that I was still just to selfish to take that leap. By this I mean that I still wanted my time to go golf, or that extra little bit of money to buy something that I had wanted for some time. That selfishness has subsided, and it is important that it does to place the needs of the better 2/3 of my life first. I can’t let my own hopes and dreams hamper the future hopes and dreams of my new little one, for example, am I going to be on the PGA Tour anytime soon? Absolutely not, so I should view taking some time on the golf course as a privileged when I get to do so, not as something owed to me.

It’s not about me anymore. It’s not about you anymore. Break down that wall of selfishness, wants and unreachable dreams and focus on the dreams of that beautiful little baby because they are going to have dreams of their own. I should mention that time to yourself is important and even therapeutic, so you should give yourself a little me time here and there; just don’t start building up that wall again.

The Fear Factor Of Pregnancy

2011-11-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Fear. I would guess that every soon-to-be dad in the history of time has experienced some kind of fear, whether it be all the new, financial or what have you. I haven’t really experienced fear on those levels, mine has been a reoccurring thought about difficulties during the birthing process. As a man, there is always the urge and effort to solve problems or fix a current situation. With the birthing process, and the fear of complications I find my mind racing about things that can be done to fix or solve those issues, even though they haven’t happened yet. It is also a issue of fearing the worst; what if I lose my wife, or my baby or both? Just typing that made me tear up a bit. How would you even go about coping with something like that?

I feel like I have some grounds for this fear, as my wife has a condition that she has been dealing with since she was 12. Lymphedema is a condition where “lymphatic obstruction is a blockage of the lymph vessels that drain fluid from tissues throughout the body and allow immune cells to travel where they are needed. Lymphatic obstruction may cause lymphedema, which means swelling due to a blockage of the lymph passages.” [1] What does this mean during pregnancy that is the catalyst of my fear; because of this there is an increased amount of leg and feet swelling, increased possibility of bed rest and lastly, an increased chance of blood clots.

With Lymphedema, there is always an increased risk of infection with a scratch or cut, and an increased chance of blood clots simply because the fluids within her legs simply doesn’t get pumped back out like mine. The daily solution for this is compression hoses that must be worn at all times, aside from sleeping.
I am a worrier when it comes to this issue, however Lauren continually tells me that it will be OK and nothing is going to happen… she is an amazing and strong woman. I am sure that she is right and assures me that there are many other women out there that have Lymphedema and have had next to no complications with child birth, however, there is always that fear of the worst in the back of my head. I will continue to do what I can for her, and continue to pray about the situation; God knows, and I know that He is looking over our home and looking over my amazing, lovely wife and the life that she is growing inside of her.
[1] Reference: U.S. National Library of Medicine

Our Baby’s First Movement

2011-11-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

Tonight as we were driving home from my parents house, Lauren said that our little baby was moving for the first time! There had been other moments that she thought she could feel something, but this one was for certain. This was one of the best moments, the only downside was I couldn’t feel it on the outside of her belly. She described it as subtle rolling or vibrations of movement; when she said rolling I could just see my little baby reenacting an Ozzie Smith back-flip out on the diamond.

As I mentioned in a previous post, we are going to have a chance at learning the gender of the baby this coming Tuesday and the first movements aren’t making it any easier to wait. So many friends and family have been guessing that it will be a boy, but I haven’t really been leaning one way or the other. All I want is a healthy baby, boy or girl makes no difference to me. Although, I have told Lauren that if we do have a girl it is going to be really hard for me to learn to discipline down the road; I fold when Lauren gives me a cute face can you imagine the cheap suit that I will be if it is a daughter that is making the same cute face? Forget about it. Now, if we have a boy I can see myself saying ‘go to your room’, but I will probably have to work on a few more potent lines.

It’s a good thing that God lined this whole parenting thing out giving us enough time to grow and learn right along with our little one, wouldn’t you agree?

Manners For Kids; Learn From Dad

2011-11-19T07:54:00.000-07:00

This week seemed to be the test of manners everywhere I went. Whether it be at the coffee shop, market, gas station, driving or crossing the street it seemed that I was more acutely aware of dads unconsciously teaching their kids bad manners. For example, dad walks into the coffee shop with little one and makes it to the order line just about the same time as another lady. What does the dad do? Jumps in and doesn’t let the lady go first; kid learns inadvertently that you are first, nice lady is second. Bad move.

At the market, two parents are going about their business for the most part in the soup section with their little one. We stroll by, and all of the sudden they start to argue. Now I am not saying that arguing never happens, however in this particular instance it was the way that the dad was treating the mom right in front of the kid. Not to mention the scene that they were making in a public place, which in my opinion fits into the issue of manners and maintaining your space and composure in a public place. Result, kid learns that those actions directed at mommy are OK and that being a train wreck in a public place is also just fine. I have instances where I can get short with Lauren when we aren’t on the same wavelength in a conversation, but it is a matter of awareness and correction.

I don’t know that I need to go into more detail about a few other things that happened this week, you get the point. Dads out there need to realize that their little ones are soaking up every action that that make, and every word that they say. Can you really expect your son so grow up and be respectful and courteous to their mom if dad doesn’t? Ultimately it leads to the ‘if dad does it I can do it’ scenario. Flip that statement around, be good to your wife, their mom. Display manners to those in that coffee shop, at the market and elsewhere. Then, the ‘if dad does it I can do it’ turns into a much more positive statement; dad opens doors, I can do that too.

Let’s Make Bed Rest A Vacation

2011-11-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

There had been some thought and discussion over the past 17 weeks about the possibility of bed rest for Lauren, but I hadn’t really put much thought into what that really meant. As the weeks go by, it is actually important to put some thought into it which was where my mind was at this evening. What can I do to make the increased time at home reasonably enjoyable? I am sure that there are so many different things that could be listed to make this time better for her, but these are some of the things that I have come up with that are relatively easy and for the most part inexpensive.

First, think about her comfort level. This could mean so many different things, but for my purposes that means plenty of blankets and pillows. She can always shed those blankets if there are to many, and pillows will always come in handy for her to situate herself in the most comfortable way possible. Mix it up, soft, firm and body pillows are a few examples of those that you can through into the mix.

Entertainment is also an important part of getting through bed rest. Think about what your wife likes to do; in my case that would be reading, whether it be books, magazines or blogs, make sure that there are plenty of options within reach. Movies and television shows will also be important to keep handy; sometimes zoning out to a Fred Astaire classic can make the time pass. Also, sometimes she might not want to focus on something but also may not want to sleep to which the answer is music. If you don’t have some form of iPod player with remote, it will be money well spent allowing her to sit and chill with whatever genre of music fits the particular moment.

Room temperature and air movement. As mentioned before with the remote to control music, also deploy this tactic with a vertical heater and fan. Allowing my wife to change the temperature on a whim will be important because as I understand it, no particular body temp/feeling stays the same for long. Why the fan? Some people, including myself, dislike stagnant air and prefer to have some kind of air movement in the room. If this is the case with your better half, employ the fan… with remote of course.

This one should have possibly been listed first, and that is food. This one will rest on the dude for the most part; be an on-call husband and make it happen, which will include runs to the fridge and store. Some things can be left within reach such as crackers, dried fruits or other non-perishables that she may have a hankerin’ for. Keeping food in that belly is important, not only for healthy growth of the baby but also to keep nausea down, and to subdue some of that bed rest cranky pants. Point of clarification: “bed rest cranky pants”, not a medical term and is perfectly reasonable for understandable for the mommy-to-be to get to this point; dudes should, and will understand.

Lastly, natural light is also important. Now put your eyebrow down, not natty light. Getting plenty of sunlight will make her feel a little better about being on bed rest, and will also get her a little vitamin D which is important for everyone. I myself lack the vitamin D during the winter months, getting to work in the dark and then driving home in the dark. Open up those window blinds and let the rays shine in.

Keep in mind that there are many different levels of bed rest, and these would be for the case of full bed rest. Just a few thoughts, and some of the things that I will be doing if bed rest actually happens. After all, she is the most amazing person in the world and why wouldn’t you want to do these things. On top of all of that, she is going to be doubling the amazing in a short while!

Hey Dads, Take Over The House!

2011-11-16T13:24:00.001-07:00

As a dad, the best thing to do when you get home from work is to sit back on the couch, put on your favorite show and completely zone out. Obviously this is not true, and however enticing this may be it really isn't the thing that should happen when you get home. Sure, loosen the tie and chill for a minute to gather yourself from the work day, but then jump into action and give the pregnant beauty a little down time.

I am learning that the most valuable phrase during our pregnancy has been, "go sit down, I got this." With this phrase, I am becoming a master a doing the dishes and cleaning the bathroom. These are some of the small things that are going to make your wife not only happy, but comfortable by giving her the time to just sit and be. She is working on growing the best thing that will ever happen to us, the least we dad's can do is roll up the shirt sleeves and do a little something around the house.

Now, all of what I just said is first trimester stuff; 2nd and 3rd trimesters are a completely different ballgame. We aren't there yet, but I realize that some heavy lifting will be involved. Dad is going to be doing some cooking, more cleaning, more runs to the store all rolled together with a heavy dose a back rubs. To be continued...

Thanks! Now Get More Stuff

2011-11-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

As I sat at home today trying to get over a cold which was given to me by my lovely wife, I couldn't help but scowl at the TV. With Thanksgiving right around the corner there are a number of department stores that are now going to be opening not only early, but Thanksgiving evening early. So, go ahead and power down that turkey smothered in gravy and run down to stand in line.

It is amazing to me how so many people get into the culture of snatching up more, and more stuff when they really don't need it. Let's use this scenario as an example; you currently have a 32" flat screen TV at your house which functions perfectly and does the job. However, Superstore has a 55" flat screen TV on a black Friday sale for an amount that you just can't afford to pass up, $699. It is going to be so much better when that TV is in the house, just the thing that we need to round out the thanks.

Don't get me wrong, I have fallen into the consumer spotlight a few times... I guess that is why is blog is called 'makingofadad' not 'alreadyperfectdad'. I continue to learn, grow and understand what is important and what isn't. Would it be better to take that new TV money and do something for your kids, or in my case drop it into a college savings account? With some charities that work to find and produce water for those in need, it can take as little as $20 to give one person clean drinking water. Your new TV is equal to clean drinking water for 34 people. Food for thought; possibly get gifts this year that are less than you would have purchased in the past, and use the rest for a college savings account or to help others. Maybe we could learn a lesson from that person that would find far more joy in a glass of water than the newest consumer electronic.

A Very Valuable Lesson

2011-11-14T21:11:00.001-07:00

So we just had a great evening with our church small group, which is our core group of peers that we meet with on a weekly basis. The main discussion tonight was taking what you have, and trusting, knowing and believing that God is going to be there to pick up the rest. The example was from Matthew 14, the feeding of 5,000 and the fact that the disciples only had 5 loaves of bread and two fish; the point is that they brought what they had and Jesus made the rest happen. Can you even imagine being there when this took place? What would you say? I think that I would be left with one word which encompasses awe, amazement, joy and hope... that word would have been, dude.

It gave me an interesting connection on this story in the Bible which, showing my ignorance, I had never really connected with before that I can just bring what I have, be it knowledge, talent, or lack there of and God will be right there asking me to be in His will. You don't have to be perfect in everything, or completely knowledgeable in a particular subject; sometimes faith, trust and seeking His will is more powerful than those things. Dude.

Thanks to Andy Stanley for laying this out there where even I could catch it.

Are Salaries Too High?

2011-11-13T11:21:00.001-07:00

This morning I was running through my Twitter feed, and noticed a few different posts from @mlbtraderumors that made me think about players salaries. In this last year, the New York Yankees had over $50 million wrapped up in two players, Alex Rodriquez and CC Sabathia. The Yankees also hold the top spot for the 2011 payroll at $196,854,630. The money spent on two players in that organization exceeded the entire payrolls for the Cleveland Indians, Tampa Bay Rays and a few others. Not that this issue hasn't been written about numerous times, dissected and analyzed over the past decade; I was hoping to put a different spin on the topic, from the perspective of a dad-to-be.

With our first baby on the way, I want to provide a home atmosphere that has all of the opportunities that we can think of. Lauren and I have said many times that we want to have a room in our house with a piano, guitar, paints, baseball glove and a number of other things; if our little one latches onto something they will have the materials to learn and grow. Lets just say that they latch onto a baseball glove, love the history of the game and really grow in their ability to snap off a curve ball; would I not want them to have the opportunity to sign a 3-year, $17 million contract? I would think that most dads, parents would say go for it. With that said, are professional athletes overpaid? Possibly. Do they provide a talent to an organization with a business model that brings in enough profit to pay them an inordinate salary? Yes, and that is where I wrestle with two issues; does their talent coupled with capitalism allow for this to happen, and lastly, what do they do with all that money?

Ultimately, I find myself being relatively settled with the contracts that are signed in major sports. Those athletes provide a service that fans are willing to pay for. Until those seats at stadiums are empty, those salaries are ultimately justified in my mind. I would hope that there are a number of those athletes, and there are, that take those hefty contracts to help others and connect with charities around the world to help those individuals that are less fortunate.

As for us as parents, if that situation ever presents itself I would hope that we had raised a child that would have worked hard enough to have that opportunity, take that contract and then use that money to help others. At the lapse of that contract, wouldn't it be awesome to negotiate a lesser amount of money to keep other players on that team, and even stipulate within the contact that say, 35% goes directly to a charity? I long for the day when the superstar player getting $14 million a year, signs a new 7 year contract at $5 million a year, with that 35% going to a charity. I think that player, if it ever happens, would be my new favorite player. Better person, better community, better society.

Reference Source: ESPN MLB

Things Will Never Be The Same

2011-11-12T11:27:00.000-07:00

This morning, Lauren and I slept in for a bit and then had a great morning of whole wheat, walnut and vanilla pancakes and a little DIY Network. We have been looking forward to our Saturday mornings more and more these days, not sure why. The cold weather helps to give us the excuse to curl up and chill out, but that also made me think this morning that things will never be the same in about 5 months. Our Saturday morning will then be full of our eye fixed on our baby, looking for the first roll and crawl. I am going to have to perfect the bite size baby pancake at some point down the road.

The other issue that I thought about this morning, also in line with things never being the same is the drastic generational different between how my grandparents, then parents, then us and now our baby are going to be raised. Don't get me wrong, there are dozens and dozens of ideas and principles that are passed down from generation to generation that are key to raising kids. Think of all the different medias out there that are making an affect on families, television, music and then throw in books, magazines and other periodicals. I don't believe that my grandparents had nearly the outward societal push that we face today, but I could be mistaken.

In conversation with a few other couples, there is an underlying hesitation in taking on the responsibility our raising a child in this mess of an economy, continued decline of integrity in music and television. In my Be Careful Little Ears, Be Careful post, I stated my concern about about how music can affect someone, when it is really our entire surroundings that affect us, and will affect our little baby. Lauren and I find ourselves diving back into the music and movies from decades ago; Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Jerry Lewis, Dean Martin and a numbers of others left us with something solid to fall back on. I will leave it at that, just knowing that it is going to take a valiant effort on our part as parents to make sure that we protect without over-protecting. "Be very careful, then, how you live -- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil..." Ephesians 5: 15-16

Remember Those Who Served

2011-11-11T11:03:00.001-07:00

Sometimes it seems that remembering those who served and fought for this country doesn't happen often enough. Today is Veteran's Day, and I would like to say thank you to all of those men and women who had the courage to sign up, step into that recruiting office and make it happen. This country would be drastically different if it weren't for your efforts over the past number of decades. To all of those individuals out there that have not served, including myself, take time out of your day to make a Veteran know that they are appreciated. In my opinion, this shouldn't happen only today, but should be an ongoing appreciation throughout the year.

My grandpa served in the Army during the Korean War, however he passed away when I was young and unable to fully know, appreciate and comprehend his courage and selflessness. He was a great grandpa, and truly loved his grand kids. His attendance at my little league baseball games is probably my fondest memory; sitting there in his pickup with the driver side door open smoking his cigarette. Thinking back, him taking the time to be there means a lot to me.

I am sure that there are many others out there that have great stories about family members that served. Think of this; there are so many Veterans out there that don't have a family member to hug, or pass a story to. Take the time today, tomorrow or the next to let a Veteran know that you truly care.

Helpful Questions For Dads

2011-11-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

Our next visit with the doctor is next week, and we might have the opportunity to find out the gender of our baby! We will be at 18 weeks at that point, and the doc told us that if everything works out perfectly we might have a chance of finding out.
With our previous visits and the one coming up, it made me wonder how many soon-to-be dads sit in that office and wonder what their role is at the moment, or what questions could be asked to take a more prominent and helpful role during the pregnancy. Here are some of the questions that could be great for dads to ask the doctor at the next doctor appointment:

Are there any chores around the house that are off limits for my wife, such as heavy lifting or handling of household cleaners?
My wife likes to work out; are there any workouts or exercises to stay away from, or exercises that I can help or assist with to make it easier/safer?
Are there any sleeping positions that may be bad for my wife or the baby that I should be aware of, possibly to wake my wife and help her re-situate herself?
Are there any symptoms, pain or discomfort that I should be aware of? Those that may require an impromptu doctor visit? (this one may be important to know if your wife handles pain well, and might say “it’s really not that bad, don’t worry about it”)

There are so many more questions that could be asked of your doctor, but these are a few that could be helpful through the 2nd and 3rd trimester. Even if you know the answers to these questions, they may be helpful to ask anyways. Asking these, or other questions of your doctors may start the discussion and give you answers to questions you haven’t thought of, while also building a good rapport with your doctor. I I think of any others in the next few days or at our visit I will post them up also.

Wait A Minute, That's Not At A 90?

2011-11-09T21:20:00.001-07:00

Since I can remember, I have always wanted to have things in order even if was somewhat organized chaos. When I get home after work, Lauren just gives me a little grin because my phones, wallet, watch and keys are all sitting on the edge of the couch in order. My desk at work is arguably far to organized, even to the point where it doesn't look like anyone is utilizing the office. I think the only thing that gives me away is my morning coffee perpetually sitting above my keyboard.

With that, I am going to have to do some serious thinking about my tolerance for things being in disarray. With a baby soon to be taking over the home, and being the daily focus for us, I am fully aware that things are going to get a little crazy.

Honestly, I think that I will be able to break it. From a previous post I mentioned that I am a softy; maybe this will ultimately be a plus when I am headed off to work with Gerber sweet potatoes on my tie. If anyone has any pointers on this issue, I am all ears.

Novice Backpacker And Hiker

2011-11-09T18:49:00.000-07:00

This summer, Lauren and I decided that we would set a goal for ourselves to hike all of the foothills trails just above and surrounding Boise. So far we have knocked down about 35 miles, but the goal will have to take a short break with the growing mommy and the cold weather. We are planning on taking on the goal once again in the spring when we are all up for it. By my napkin math, we have about 100 miles to go to reach our goal.

I probably should have started by saying why we set this goal. Simple, we wanted to be outside and spend any money! I wasn't a believer in the beginning, as we started out on our first hike of 2 miles round-trip and 1,000 vertical feet. However, within about 10 minutes I was a new believer in hiking and now we both love it. There really is something to say about standing on the top of the hill above the city you live, always better than sitting on the couch watched reruns of Mythbusters.

Can you picture us in the future trudging along the trails with little one cruising right along in the child carrier complete with sun hood and sippy cup holder. Taking a walk down to the park is nice, but sitting up top looking down on the city is even better.

iPad And The Paperback Book

2011-11-08T18:39:00.000-07:00

This evening I read an article in The Washington Post about the importance of reading for kids, and the federally funded program that has distributed millions of books over the years. Funding, the main focus of the article wasn't what caught my attention. It was this statement; "As we parents debate the benefits of technology in the lives of our children, we might forget the importance of an actual book for a child." I am a strong supporter of technology in education; I have always said tongue-in-cheek that the Internet is here to stay as is the quickly expanding market for tablet and handheld computing devices, but I would have to agree with this statement for technology in the home.

In a school setting I think that an iPad has incredible value, giving teachers and students the world literally at their fingertips. An iPad in the school setting would also have far less distractions (E.g. games, movies, shows). My only hesitation with utilizing the power of an iPad or tablet at home specifically for reading and holding an entire library of books is focus. In a home setting where the iPad or iPhone has all of these fun games, movies and apps right in front of you, is it a recipe to be easily distracted for our little one when he or she is of reading age? Who knows, maybe he or she will have the attention span and thirst for reading like their mommy; at all like dad and the iPad could mean a one page read and then off to Angry Birds.

I myself can stay focused on a book for about one chapter at a time, and that is with an actual paperback book that I am interested in. With my iPod Touch, I get about a page into my read and then remember that there are dozens of others thing I can do, such as flip through my favorite magazine, Lürzer's Archive. When our little one begins to read down the road, would it be in everyone's best interest to put all of those other distractions in hand when trying to learn how to read?

Reference Article: Reading is Fundamental (unless it’s too expensive) by Janice D'Arcy