Jefferson Davis Turnipblog

1969 Music Sampler

2008-01-09T14:41:00.001-05:00

I have loaded the Last FM player in the sidebar with music from the year of my birth, 1969

Best 3's Company Landlord ?

2008-01-08T16:38:00.000-05:00

I posed this question to Turnipblog readers last month and the response was an overwhelming 5 to 1 vote in favor of Ralph Furley (Don Knotts).

Here is a hilarious video featuring the runner-up, Stanley Roper (Norman Fell).

Kid Tip - Rush Hour

2008-01-05T15:31:00.000-05:00

Our kids actually got a game this Christmas that has nothing to do with Princesses, Superheros, or Hana Montana or Highschool Musical.

It's a puzzle game called Rush Hour.

To play - You set cars and trucks on the game board, according to a card.

Then you slide the cars and trucks back and forth, trying to free the red car so that it can drive off the board.

The game is fun for kids and adults because the cards have difficulty levels ranging from easy to damn near impossible.

Here is a link to the web site (link)

Coach Gay

2008-01-03T15:18:00.000-05:00

Can't Tase This

2007-12-31T15:35:00.000-05:00

Let me set the stage for this video.

On September 17, 2007, Senator John Kerry addressed a Constitution Day forum at the University of Florida in Gainesville.

Toward the end of the question and answer period, University police forcibly removed Andrew Meyer, a 21-year-old student,from the forum, restraining him through direct force and stunning him with a Taser.

Several videos of the episode were then posted on the Internet and these became viral videos because Meyer says "Don't tase me, bro!" and it is hilarious.

A Bean Water Tip

2007-12-29T13:31:00.000-05:00

Beans are cheap.

Poor people eat beans to survive.

Some beans taste terrible.

Long ago, people figured out that you could grind up these nasty beans and run hot water over them to make a drink.

This drink is cheap to make - The ingredients are nasty beans and hot water.

This bean drink is called coffee.

A company called Starbucks has made a lot of money selling this cheap bean drink.

Is Starbucks making a profit?

Starbucks own website says that last year they "paid an average price of $1.42 per pound of green (unroasted) coffee".

If you grind up a pound of coffee beans that you paid $1.42 for, and run some hot water over them, how many cups of coffee could you make?

It really doesn't matter, because Starbucks charges way more than $1.42 for just one cup of coffee.

How much money does Starbucks make?

Starbucks has stores in all 50 states and 42 other countries around the world.

Starbucks figured out that if you put coffee in the refrigerator and then add a few spoonfulls of Nestle's Quick, that you can call it a "Mocha Frappacino Light Grande", and sell it to my wife for almost 5$.

Add wireless internet, and posers flock to Starbucks to waste their money on coffee and to be seen.

If that wasn't enough, Starbucks also sells over-priced pastries and CD's.

I gave my wife a Starbucks Card in her stocking.

According to Starbucks' website - "Starbucks Card, a reloadable stored-value card, surpassed the $2.5 billion mark for total activations and reloads since its introduction in 2001."

The other day, we were out shopping and stopped into a Starbucks drive-through for a Mocha Frappacino Light Grande.

There was a "Tip Jar" at the drive-through.

I totally lost it. I grabbed a pen and some paper, scribbled a note, and stuffed it into the tip-jar.

It read...

You have got to be f___ing kidding me.

I find it preposterous that you are asking me to supplement the income of your employees.

Do you think I am fooled into thinking that your employees are somehow like bartenders just because you call them "Baristas"?

Your "Baristas" are no different than the pimple faced teenager working at the McDonalds drive-through next door.

What is the most difficult task at Starbucks, making a Mocha Frappacino?

Maybe McDonalds should put a tip jar at their drive-through, because your fancy Mocha Frappacino machine looks a hell of a lot like the milk-shake machine at McDonalds.

Assembling a Big Mac or slaving over a fry vat has got to be more difficult than throwing a scone into a bag.

Here is a tip - Pay your employees out of your astronomical profits.

At least McDonalds sells delicious burgers and fries as opposed to bean-water and Kenny-G CD's

Glam Jam

2007-12-27T14:18:00.000-05:00

You probably know that I consider the 70's the best music decade.

I love Glam Rock, which is about as 70's as it gets.

Check out Glam Jam, a glam music mix in the last fm player in the Turnipblog sidebar.

If you don't know what Glam is, watch this video featuring the holy trinity of Glam - Alice Cooper, Sweet, and T-Rex.

Late Christmas Present - Nadshot

2007-12-26T09:13:00.000-05:00

Nadshot(link)

2007 X-mas Card

2007-12-25T11:18:00.000-05:00

Fabregas is Sylar

2007-12-22T23:36:00.000-05:00

The Arsenal Midfielder and the Evil Psycho from Heros are one in the same.

College Basketball is Back - Duke # 1

2007-12-21T09:43:00.000-05:00

College basketball is back.

I am a North Carolina, and a South Carolina, basketball fan.

I went to North Carolina undergrad. The Heels are undefeated and are at the top of all College Basketball polls.

We have Gamecock season tickets and finally moved into the lower deck at the Colonial Center. The Gamecocks have a young team and will lose many close games this season.

Although the Heels are the best team in the country, their arch-rivals once again are leading the country in one important statistical category...

Duke is still #1 at WEF's

White-Guy Effort Faces

Will Ferrell + Jack Black = Funny

2007-12-20T11:12:00.000-05:00

I love this scene with Will Ferrell and Jack Black, from Anchorman.

Attorney's Meeting Doodles

2007-12-19T10:38:00.000-05:00

At work, we have an Attorney's Meeting every couple of weeks. Case notes are passed out at the beginning of the meeting.

After the last Attorney's Meeting, I looked at my notes and noticed that I had actually doodled on them quite a bit.

I decided to scan and post the doodles. Keep in mind, that I was just doodling out of sheer boredom and never intended for other eyes to see these doodles.

(Click on the doodles to enlarge)

Me Playing Binocular Soccer

2007-12-18T09:33:00.000-05:00

I love playing soccer. If I ever get the chance to play on Saturday evening, the only pick-up game that I know of is the Asian game.

We always play with binoculars strapped to our faces.

Survivor China Disappointment

2007-12-17T11:44:00.000-05:00

I was hugely disappointed with Survivor China.

After the season finale I was left with an empty feeling.

The producers always find a way to screw up the show and make it far less enjoyable.

I was so frustrated that I would yell at the television at least once an episode.

Q - What was it that I yelled,

in frustration,

at my television screen and my wife,

at least once an episode of Survivor China?

A = "WHY CAN'T THEY SHOW AMANDA'S BUTT!"

Seriously, why did they always blurr out Amanda's but?

They showed Jean-Robert's huge gut.

They showed Courtney (AKA Skeletor)'s emaciated body.

They showed Denise's pale, flabby, caveman body.

It made me literally cover my eyes on more than one occasion.

But no, America can't see Amanda's butt.

I can think of a few more offensive things that I have seen on television.

Santa Arrested

2007-12-16T11:06:00.000-05:00

New Music Player

2007-12-15T13:18:00.000-05:00

I have embedded a new music player in the sidebar from Last FM.

It is loaded up with Christmas music right now, check it out.

Spurrier Christmas Card

2007-12-14T11:20:00.000-05:00

Remastered Star Wars 2008

2007-12-13T10:52:00.000-05:00

George Lucas has Remastered and tinkered with the original Star Wars movie again.

As technology changes, Lucas just can't help himself. He claims that he lacked the ability to truely realize his vision of Star Wars back in 1977.

Watch this clip from the remastered Star Wars 2008 and see if you can detect the changes.

My Dad on History Channel

2007-12-12T10:09:00.000-05:00

Q = Why did my parents (who are liberal, democrat, Unitarian Universalists) name me Jefferson Davis Turnipseed, when I was born in 1969?

To find out the answer, you must watch "1968 With Tom Brokaw" on The History Channel.

Tom Brokaw wrote a book titled "Boom! Voices of the Sixties: Personal Reflections on the '60s and Today". My dad is in the book. Now the book has been adapted to a television program on the History Channel, "1968 With Tom Brokaw."

Here is a link that discusses the show and mentions my dad(link).

"1968 With Tom Brokaw" is on The History Channel, tonight from 8 to 10 and then again from midnight to 2 am.

If you miss it tonight, it comes on again Saturday, December 15, at 5:00 pm Eastern time.

The Cruel Shoes

2007-12-11T15:50:00.001-05:00

As I explained in the post below this one, in the mornings, my 4 year old son, Sam, always complains that his shoes and socks are hurting his feet.

It always reminds me of the Steve Martin short story "The Cruel Shoes"

To get the full effect, you must read the dialouge of Carlo and Anna with a ridiculous hispanic accent.

Cruel Shoes

Anna knew she had to have some new shoes today, and Carlo had helped her try on every pair in the store. Carlo spoke wearily, "Well, that's every pair of shoes in the place."

"Oh, you must have one more pair..."

"No, not one more pair... Well, we have the cruel shoes, but no one would want..."

Anna interrupted, "Oh yes, let me see the cruel shoes!"

Carlo looked incredulous. "No Anna, you don't understand, you see the cruel shoes are..."

"Get them!"

Carlo disappeared into the back room for a moment, then returned with an ordinary shoe box. He opened the lid and removed a hideous pair of black and white pumps. But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had aright angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place.

Carlo spoke hesitantly, "... Now you see why... they're not fit for humans..."

"Put them on me."

"But..."

"Put them on me!"

Carlo knew all arguments were useless. He knelt down before her and forced the feet into the shoes.

The screams were incredible.

Anna crawled over to the mirror and held her bloody feet up where she could see.

"I like them."

She paid Carlo and crawled out of the store into the street.

Later that day, Carlo was overheard saying to a new customer, "Well, that's every shoe in the place. Unless, of course, you'd like to try the cruel shoes."

Existence of Dark Matter Confirmed

2007-12-10T14:38:00.000-05:00

Sam is a terror to get dressed in the mornings and there is always a rush to leave on time for school.

Each successive article of clothing gets more problematic.

Shirt is usually ok, unless he insists on buttoning the buttons himself.

Pants is worse.

You pull the pants up and then there is a moment of silence and dread...

as you wait for him to stick out his bottom lip and scream...

"These do NOT fit!"

In Sam's defense, he does have a lot of large hand-me-downs and he is shaped like a lollipop, so he often needs a belt for his pants to stay on.

Socks and shoes almost always present a problem.

Apparently, if the socks don't match (exactly), then they don't "feel" right once the shoes get on.

Even if the socks match, you will almost always get one of these once you put the shoes on and endure the moment of silence and dread...

"no, No, NO!"

My 4 year old son has provided what has eluded astophysicists for years...

proof that dark matter exists.

It can't be seen or measured, but Sam can feel it in his socks and shoes.

All I can do is reach in the sock or shoe and pretend that I got the "bump", while hoping that I got the dark matter and the shoe will feel ok when I put it back on.

Lord of the Rings v Star Wars Movies

2007-12-09T16:12:00.000-05:00

Here is a clip from the movie Clerks II where it is debated which movies are better, the LOTR movies or Star Wars Movies.

Danger is Fun.

2007-12-08T11:11:00.000-05:00

Best Band of Brothers?

2007-12-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

The other night, I was watching "America's Next Band" or some such show.

It was terrible. The judges were; the singer for the Goo Goo Dolls, Sheila E., and a smart-mouth-english-guy that I had never heard of (wonder where they got that idea).

All of the bands on the show had to cover Rolling Stones songs.

One of the bands were 3 brothers and they played "Gimme Shelter" and added their own "Peace"lyrics at the end. LAME!

This got me thinking.

What is the best rock band where 2 of the members are brothers?

Leave a comment to vote.

I can think of many good band featuring brothers and many crappy bands featuring brothers.