*Fwd: This is a forwarded email. I hate spamming so I’m posting them here instead

This was written by a Metro Denver Hospice Physician:

I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die – I barely managed to coast, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn’t even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the ‘quickie mart ‘ building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fel l into a gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.

When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her. It was a nickel.

At that moment, everything came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Suburban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.

I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying ‘I don’t want my kids to see me crying,’ so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, ‘And you were praying?’ That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, ‘He heard you, and He sent me.’

I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, I walked to the next door McDonald’s and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the car, who attacked it like wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a little.

She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn’t have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.

So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.

I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, ‘So, are you like an angel or something?’ This definitely made me cry. I said, ‘Sweetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.’

It was so incredible to be a part of someone else’s miracle. Of course, you guessed it. When I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I’ll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won’t find anything wrong.

Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings…

Psalms 55:22 ‘Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.’

*Fwd: This is a forwarded email but I hate spamming so I’m posting them here instead

Importance of Sleep

A  man  can  go two weeks without eating. But if he doesn’t rest at all, he can  only  survive  for one week. Sleeping provides us the time to rest our internal  organs, eyes and brains. Poor sleep quality can cause internal damage  to  our  internal  organs and brains. Therefore, sleeping is very important  to  us. If you
wish to have a long life and stay healthy, please take note of the advice below.

5 DON’TS when you are sleeping
DON’T SLEEP WITH WATCH
Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though but if you wear  your  watch  to bed for a long time, it might adverse effects on your health.

DON’T SLEEP WITH BRA
Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.

DON’T SLEEP WITH PHONE
Putting  the  phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as  far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

DON’T SLEEP WITH MAKE UP
People  who  sleep  with  make up might have skin problems in thelong run. Sleeping  with  make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

DON’T SLEEP WITH OTHERS’ WIFE
You may never wake up again.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighboring kingdom.  The monarch could have killed him but was moved by
Arthur’s youth and ideals.  So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long
as he could answer a very difficult question.  Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he
would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone:

The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch.  She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to
her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights
of the Round Table, And Arthur’s closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.  He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden, But Lancelot, having learnt of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the
reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the
witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus: ‘What a woman really wants?’

She said, ‘Is to be in charge of her own life.’
Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great
truth.  And that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was.

The neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom.  And Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.  The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom.
But, what a sight awaited him.
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.
The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time. And the beautiful maiden the other half.

‘Which would you prefer? She asked him.

‘Beautiful during the day …. or at night?’

Lancelot pondered the predicament.

During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends,
But at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!
Or,
Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day?
But by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments
with?
(If you are a man reading this…) What would YOUR choice be?

(If you are a woman reading this) What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

What Lancelot chose, is given below:

BUT… make YOUR choice before you scroll down below… OKAY?
Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question,
He said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time.
Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own
life.

Now… what is the moral to this story?

.
.
.

.

.

.

.

.

The moral is…
1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:IT’S EITHER ‘HER WAY’ OR IT’S ‘NO WAY’ !!!

Only great minds can read this
This is weird, but interesting!

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno’t mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail

Another forwarded Email

John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases.
It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy,  their 11 year old son,
returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

‘Where have you been?  Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?’ asked John.

‘Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,’ said Tommy.

The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him
completely out of his chair.

‘Son,’ said John, ’this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school.’

‘We went to Bobby’s house and watched a movie.’ said Tommy.

‘What did you watch?’ asked Marsha.

‘The Ten Commandments. ‘ answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him
off his chair once more.

With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, ‘I am sorry Im lied.
We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.’

‘I am ashamed of you son,’ said John. ‘When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.’

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly
knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said,  ‘Boy, did you ever ask for that one!
You can’t be too mad with Tommy.  After all, he is your son!’

With that the robot immediately walked around to Marsha and knocked her
out of her chair.

All women should live so long as to be this kind of old lady!

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question.

All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.

‘Mrs. Neely?’; ‘Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?’

I don’t have any.’ She replied, smiling sweetly.

‘Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?’

‘Ninety-eight.’ she replied.

‘Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?’

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle,
faced the congregation, and said:

‘I outlived the bitches.’

The Human Body

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were.

1.. Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you  dream.

2.. The largest cell in the human body is the female egg.

3.. The smallest is the male sperm.

4.. You use 200 muscles to take one step.

5.. The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.

6.. Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three.

7.. A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands.

8.. A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball.

9.. The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.

10.. The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica.

11.. It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

12.. The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds.

13.. Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.

14.. At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single  cell.

15.. There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

16.. Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil.

17.. The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body.

18.. Your teeth start developing (in your gums) 6 months before you are born

19.. When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate.

20.. Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people.

21.. Your thumb is the same length as your nose.

22.. At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test … now remove your thumb from your nose and pass this on  to the friends you think might be interested in comparing their thumbs to their noses as well.

You did it — I KNOW you did !!!!!

Acts 2:38
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: ‘Stop! Acts 2:38!’ (Repent and be Baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ, so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.’ ‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!’

Send this to someone who needs a laugh today and remember: Knowing scripture can save your life – in more ways than one!

Note: Another forwarded email..

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn , so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed…… skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal,until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman – Neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

20. Never, ever, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.