Jen Kirchner

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 16

Unknown — Sun, 08 Nov 2026 11:48:42 -0800

Chapter 16: Look delicious or something</h3>
Harry was soaking wet. The thick coat of sand and dirt clinging to him made him feel like an overdone churro. He was bleeding from all his scratches, and his head was still pounding from the constant reverberating growls and roars of countless crocodiles and the thunderous cacophony of a dozen logs. The statue’s attacks had followed Harry the entire way, throwing trap after trap. No matter what path he tried to take, the evil statue countered him. Harry was exhausted, panting, and bleeding. The healing amulet David had given him suddenly felt so slow.
But he’d made it to his destination and was still alive. He was standing before a grouping of boulders covered in mud and animal poop. The yellow icon was large and blinking madly in the middle of his vision.
He reached into a crack between two of the rocks and felt rough cloth. He pulled it out. It was a brown burlap bag with a leather drawstring closure. Harry opened the bag and looked inside. Ghostly mist wafted out. A few handfuls of golden sand sat inside.
Harry reached into the bag and scooped out a small palmful of sand. It was warm to the touch and popped gently against his skin. He tossed it onto the dirt by his feet—
A tepee of large sticks appeared on the ground.
“You activate Big Campfire.”
FWOOM! The sticks were suddenly engulfed in scalding flames.
“You feel rejuvenated.”
“AAAAH!”
Harry felt no such thing. The jungle was already hot and humid, and Harry was coated in sweat and swamp water and probably crocodile poop, and that was before the coating of mud and quicksand. The fire was ghastly. Harry could feel his crusty coat baking onto his skin. He ran from the campfire.
“Cancel Campfire!” he hollered. “Abort Campfire! Stop the big stupid Campfire!”
The fire winked out and the sticks collapsed.
“Big Campfire canceled. Challenger is too far from Big Campfire to enjoy its effects.”
Harry tied the bag closed and jammed it into one of his pockets, determined to never use it again.
The trees rustled behind him. Harry turned just as David landed a few feet away. He looked clean and completely unruffled but inexplicably annoyed. The pink-and-purple balloon deflated with a soft hiss. Its rope coiled artfully around David’s arm.
“Where the hell have you been?” he demanded. “I’ve been waiting for you for twenty-five minutes.” He paused as his eyes roved over Harry. His brow furrowed. “What happened to you?”
Harry frowned and checked the timer. David was right. Harry had wasted twenty-five precious minutes getting the Big Campfire.
He gestured broadly to the minefield that marked his path. “I guess you didn’t notice all these new traps on the ground as you floated leisurely with your happy-funtime balloon.”
David followed Harry’s gesture and turned around. His eyes widened. Harry could tell that he was silently counting all the pitfalls, ponds with crocodiles, quicksand pits, and areas smashed repeatedly by rolling logs.
“The evil statue didn’t want me getting here, and it did everything it could to kill me first.”
“But you got the treasure?”
Harry patted his pocket. “Yeah, I got it.”
“I waited for you for so long that I actually found the last treasure. I was going to try to get it myself, but I’m going to need your help.” David actually looked nervous. “There’s this treasure I destroyed… and I didn’t tell you what it was. It had a pretty disturbing effect.”
“The cobra-rattler monster?” Harry asked. “Yeah, we’ve met. Let’s go.”
David looked to the sky and said, “Balloon Drift.”
His balloon unfurled.
“By the way,” Harry said, watching David ascend like the clown messiah, “how do you keep finding these treasures so fast?”
“One of the treasures I found extends my sensory range.”
Some people get all the luck. Others get Rabbit Jump.

Harry couldn’t stop watching the timer tick down in the corner of his vision. Within a couple of precious minutes, the yellow treasure icon started flashing, dead ahead—small, and so low to the ground that he wondered whether it was in another underground passage.
He hadn’t been to this part of the hunting ground. The brush and trees were sparse, and the sun beat down a little harder. Long, yellowed grass grew in dense patches and whipped at Harry’s legs.
They finally arrived at a large field bordered by old balsa and ironwood trees. At the far edge of the field was a low, narrow cave made of large rocks and packed dirt. The entrance was small; a person would have to bend at the waist to walk through. The treasure was inside.
Harry stopped a safe distance away, yet he could already hear the telltale rattling sound echoing within. The snake must have smelled them.
David landed next to Harry. He looked nervous, like the time Harry suggested that they extend the senior class’s mock–World Council from one week to three.
“The snake’s only a few feet from the entrance,” David whispered. “It charged me as soon as I approached. I tried leading it far enough away that it would forget about the cave so I could get the treasure, but it wouldn’t follow me very far. It chased me past the first line of trees but no farther. It always turns around and goes right back to the cave.”
Harry crept a little closer for a better view. The cave was dark, but two beady red eyes glared at him from within. The rattling got louder. Hissing accompanied it. A menacing duet.
Harry backed up, out of the snake’s view. The hissing and rattling didn’t stop.
David rubbed his hands on his pants, leaving behind faint traces of sweat. Then he clamped one hand on Harry’s shoulder. “You’re the one with the running and jumping abilities, so you’re gonna have to play bait.”
Harry’s eyes widened. “That’s your plan?”
“You’ve got a better one?”
“No, but you could have at least asked me first.”
“There’s no time for pleasantries, Harry. Get that snake out of the cave and I’ll run inside, grab the treasure, and run back out. Keep its interest while I’m in there.”
“How am I supposed to do that?”
“I don’t know,” David said. “Look really delicious or something.”
“You’re unbelievable,” Harry said. “Fine. As soon as the snake comes out, run inside. Don’t take long getting the treasure.”
“Why would I take long?”
“I don’t know, I’m just saying don’t sightsee or anything. Get in and get out.”
“Well, of course. We don’t have a lot of time, and we’re wasting it here yapping.”
“Then why aren’t you getting into position?” Harry demanded.
David huffed and jogged off. Harry watched him circle wide around the cave and then get into place alongside it, back far enough from the entrance that the snake couldn’t smell or hear him, yet close enough to satisfy Harry’s stress level.
“Okay,” Harry mumbled to himself, “here I go.”
He crept toward the cave. The snake’s eyes seemed to glow. They stopped weaving and bobbing in the dark and went statue-still, fixed on Harry as he approached.
“Here, cobra-rattler monster. Come and get me. Tasty history teacher…”
The rattling grew even louder, almost deafening. Harry was a few paces from the entrance—
The snake charged, faster than Harry had expected. He yelped and jerked away from the cave mouth.
“Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet activated.”
Harry tore across the field, away from the cave.
“David!” he shouted. “Go! Go! Go! GO!”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw David sprinting for the cave entrance.
The scenery blurred by, but at least the trees weren’t as dense, and Harry could run around the field without his usual incidents. He kept his focus on the landscape, occasionally glancing behind to make sure the snake was still in hot pursuit. This was actually a pretty solid plan. Pretty easy, actually—
Then the ground started trembling. Harry looked down as the grass parted just a few feet before him. The dirt quickly fell away, down into a dark pit that was directly in his path.
“Not this again!” Harry ground out. It was exactly what the evil statue had done when Harry had chased down the Big Campfire treasure. Apparently, it hadn’t given up on trying to kill him.
Harry veered left, away from the pit, then glanced back to make sure the snake was still behind him.
While his attention was diverted, he felt the next pit forming before he could see it, right where he was going to plant his feet.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“Frisky Feet canceled. You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry tripped, stumbled, and jumped off with his left foot. The power of Rabbit Jump sent him tumbling sideways in the air. The snake slithered around the pit easily. Harry hit the ground, rolled, and sprang to his feet. The pit sealed up as if it had never been there.
“Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet activated.”
Harry took off, and the snake darted after him again. They’d entered the surrounding trees. Harry worried that they were getting too far from the cave and the snake would lose interest, so he turned back toward David and the still-blinking treasure icon. What was taking David so long?
Harry broke back into the grassy field and started leading the snake in a wide circle. They made two turns, and Harry led the snake along the edge of the trees, needing a respite from the beating sun.
The treasure icon started to move! David had the final treasure—
Harry felt another rumble along the ground, one so gentle that he almost didn’t notice it. He looked down just as his foot sank into a patch of soft quicksand, throwing him off balance. He pitched forward.
It was another disappearing quicksand pit! It had appeared and spread toward him while he was looking away. He’d stepped into the very edge of it.
He threw himself to the side so he wouldn’t land face-down in the quicksand. He crashed onto the grass.
“Frisky Feet canceled.”
The snake was almost on him. Harry screamed and yanked his foot as hard as he could, trying to get free, but the quicksand wouldn’t let go. A shadow fell over him. The snake leaned its head back, fangs bared to strike.
YOINK!
The quicksand pit retracted, pulling its mass back to the center where it was disappearing into the ground. Harry couldn’t free himself and was jerked along with it, bumping and sliding across the grass. He screamed. Was he being sent back underground, or was he just going to die? He didn’t know.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“Rabbit Jump canceled. Challenger must thrust with at least one foot to activate the ability.”
Harry continued sliding toward the small hole in the center. If he couldn’t get free, he was going to get sucked into it, too. The enraged snake was right behind him.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 15

Unknown — Sun, 01 Nov 2026 11:44:29 -0800

Chapter 15: Correction: double doom</h3>
David thrust his meaty fists into the air as if he were trying to punch the statue in the mouth.
“What’s my name? Wrong!” Another punch!
“How tall am I? Wrong!” Punch! Punch!
“What color is my hair?” Jab, jab, cross!
“Best captain: Kirk or Picard? WRONG!” This answer received another punch and a solid air kick.
David finally dropped his fists, but his face was almost purple with rage. “This statue is totally lying to me! It didn’t get a single answer correct.”
Harry looked up from where he was sitting on the ground, trying not to jostle his aching body too much. “Kirk or Picard?”
“Definitely Picard.”
Harry was in too much pain to argue; David’s question was flawed. The best captain is obviously Janeway.
Gingerly, Harry maneuvered himself over a couple of feet and propped his back against a tree.
“Statue,” he said, “we’ve solved the mystery. We’ve confirmed that there are two statues. One tells the truth, and the other one lies. So…”
Harry waited for the statue to respond and for drum beats to start playing out of nowhere. He was expecting an undeniable reward. This time, he would ask for the full sixteen hours.
But the statue remained strangely silent. Maybe he needed to say more? He cleared his throat.
“The truth of the challenge is that we need to collect ten treasures.”
Still nothing.
“And not destroy twelve.”
More silence.
“Statue, are you listening to me?”
David raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you doing?”
“The last time I figured out a ‘hunting grounds discrepancy,’ I got a reward—the statue added another hour to the timer.”
“Oh, I got another hour, too. I didn’t know why. I thought it was just because I was so awesome.”
Harry rolled his eyes. “We should have received a reward for this, too. But the statue isn’t saying anything.”
He shook his head. Was his explanation not enough? Or had he not fully solved the puzzle?
Was he wrong about something? Was he missing something important?
David ran a hand through his hair. “Okay, so either we didn’t quite figure it out or they’re cheating us out of a reward. We still have an hour to collect ten treasures. I have four. How many do you have?”
Harry blinked up at David. He’d only collected three treasures in the entire time he’d been there.
“Three. How many have you destroyed?” he asked.
“Five.”
David had found a total of nine treasures to Harry’s measly three! If Harry hadn’t discovered the correct challenge in time and David had destroyed all nine, he may have doomed them all!
“So we need three more.”
David pointed behind him, where the jungle was darker, dense with underbrush and rocks, and more difficult to traverse.
“There are two more treasures that way. I was headed for them when I heard you screaming and smashing through the bushes. We’ll pick those up and then worry about the last one. If we work fast, hopefully we can make it in time.”
“I was hardly smashing things,” Harry retorted. He was in too much pain to smash through bushes. If anything, he was being a delicate little prince. He pushed himself up, wincing and struggling to suppress his whimpers.
David looked him over. His eyebrows pinched together. “Are you injured? What happened to you?”
“Finding answers about this stupid hunting ground wasn’t easy. Your statue didn’t want me finding the truth, and for some reason it’s able to change the hunting ground at will. I went through a lot.”
David reached under his shirt and pulled out a large gold amulet decorated with tiny green and blue gems. He handed it to Harry.
“Put this on. You’ll start to feel better.”
“I doubt it. I’m covered in splinters.”
“It should take care of those,” David said. “Just put it on so we can get moving.”
Harry took the amulet and draped it around his neck. Immediately, his headache subsided. His ribs felt warm, and the sharp, stabbing pains were reduced to a dull ache. Two large splinters popped out of his hands and another from his chest. His right ankle twinged suddenly, but the pressure on it lessened. The seam of his pants even suddenly sealed up again.
Harry was actually disappointed about the pants. The hunting ground was unbearably hot and humid, and the extra breeze was pretty nice.
At any rate, he could feel himself healing. It wasn’t totally painless or quick, but in another half hour, he thought most of the aches and pains would be gone.
“Thanks,” he said. “It’s actually working.”
David slapped Harry good-naturedly on the back. “Good. Let’s go. Nothing can stop us now, except for the clock.”
He turned around and started jogging. Harry was just about to activate Frisky Feet when a thunderous crash erupted straight ahead. The ground trembled. Trees and underbrush shook. Birds screeched and took to the sky. Something large was thundering through the jungle toward them. It quickly came into view.
Rolling logs.
David looked dumbfounded. “What the hell? That’s impossible! I destroyed that! I destroyed the log-throwing ability! It’s not me, I swear, Harry. I didn’t throw those logs.”
Harry believed him. It suddenly made perfect sense.
“Let me guess,” Harry said. “You also destroyed treasures that create disappearing quicksand pits, maybe also ponds with enormous crocodiles? Gargantuan scorpions and snakes?”
David’s eyes went wide. “Yeah! How did you know?”
“Lucky guess.”
So, the other statue gained the abilities of the treasures David had destroyed. Harry’s statue gained the abilities of the treasures Harry collected. But Harry hadn’t collected anything with abilities the statue could use against David. It could make pits, but maybe that’s just a thing magic statues can do.
The logs were coming closer.
“We can’t retreat!” David was yelling over the cacophony. “We need those treasures!”
Harry nodded. “Can you get over or around the logs?”
“Yeah! Let’s do this!”
Harry started running at the log. He darted up a small slope, passing David, who was still just standing in awe of the log, not doing anything. Harry started to worry. If David didn’t move soon, he was going to get crushed.
“David, move!” he hollered.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.”
He sounded so nonchalant. What the hell? The logs were almost twice Harry’s height.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry leapt at a sharp angle, scraping his arm against the log’s rough bark and knocking him off balance. He cartwheeled in the air, doing his best—though unintentional—impersonation of a starfish. As he careened upside down over the log, he saw David hanging onto the rope of a huge pink-and-purple balloon, drifting lazily through the air without a care in the world. As Harry crashed and tumbled across the ground, collecting more dirt on his person, he figured that the balloon probably went wherever David wanted and gently landed him on the ground, too.
“Rating: barely satisfactory. Aw, did you want a balloon, too? Tip: There are no more balloon-ability treasures in the hunting grounds. Sorry.”
Harry leapt to his feet as the second log approached. David drifted softly upward again, safely out of harm’s way. Harry darted to the end of the log as was rolling beneath a large copse of sturdy strangler figs.
“Vine Drop!”
“Vine Drop activated.”
A thick, brown vine unfurled from the nearest branch and came swinging at him. Harry leapt and grabbed the vine at its middle. The log suddenly looked a lot bigger around than Harry had originally thought. Was he going to smack right into it? He tried to climb up the vine but couldn’t. He picked up his knees, curling almost into a ball. The log rolled beneath him, scraping his pants. Harry felt his pants split again.
As he released the vine and swung off, a small yellow dot started flashing on the right side of his vision. He landed, and the vine dropped to the ground with a heavy thump. A second yellow dot started flashing straight ahead.
“I’ll get this one,” David called from a few feet above. He pointed to the treasure on the right by kicking one of his feet. “You get the other. Meet back here in a few minutes.”
Harry gave him a thumbs-up and took off for the treasure.
“Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet activated. There’s nothing like the wind in your hair as you charge toward your impending doom.”
“What?”
A vast, brackish pond suddenly popped up from the ground. Its edge raced toward him as he raced toward it. In the center of the pond, two enormous crocodile eyes blinked hungrily at him.
BOOM.
A colossal log crashed through the trees and rumbled along the ground toward him.
“Correction: double doom.”

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 14

Unknown — Sun, 25 Oct 2026 12:11:09 -0700

Chapter 14: You can stop eating so much dirt</h3>
The snake slithered around the corner, slinking its seemingly never-ending body with it. Its greedy, dark eyes never left Harry. Saliva—or was that venom?—dripped from its fangs.
Harry braced himself against the wall, with one arm wrapped around his aching middle. It hurt to stand. It hurt to move. He glanced behind him at the long tunnel yawning into a black dot in the distance. Then he looked back at the snake, and the broken ladder that didn’t quite lead to the jungle.
If he turned around and kept running, there was no guarantee that he’d find another way out. If the other statue had taken control of this underground passage and was determined to keep Harry from leaving it alive, he may not find any escape ladders, so he’d run into a dead end… and be eaten by the snake.
On the other hand, he could attempt the broken ladder in front of him. If he couldn’t reach the top, maybe he could climb out, or at least scream until David heard him. But there was no guarantee that either of those would work. The hunting ground was a large place, and David was likely nowhere near.
Harry had to rely on himself… and probably Rabbit Jump. He could be good at Rabbit Jump, he thought. Probably better if he hadn’t cracked a couple of ribs and wasn’t wearing a dozen splinters. He wasn’t good at it in the way the statue wanted him to be, but he thought he was good enough.
He pushed away from the wall and drew in a deep breath—then winced at the pain. The snake hissed. Its neck flaps extended and its rattle started shaking, broadcasting the monster’s intent. It was probably twenty feet from the ladder. Harry was closer. And he could move a lot faster, too.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry took off toward the ladder. The snake charged.
He focused on the ladder so he wouldn’t lose his nerve… or his location.
“Three… two… one. Cancel Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet canceled.”
Harry decelerated like a racecar loosing its parachute. He turned and dug in the sides of his shoes, sliding to a stop just a couple of feet from the ladder. Pain lashed him from seemingly everywhere. Harry grunted. His vision flashed white.
Rating: pitiful. Did you forget to face the correct direction? That is, away from the giant snake monster that wants to eat you? Tip: Did you know that you can’t win the challenge if you’re being painfully digested in a snake’s belly? It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.
Harry blinked, trying to clear his vision. “Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry sprang high into the air and bear-hugged the ladder while scrabbling with his feet to find purchase. The ladder shuddered and nearly buckled from the impact. Harry’s feet thunked down on the solid rungs. He scurried up the ladder as the cobra-rattler reached for him. The snake was louder now, winding itself easily around the ladder, moving upward impossibly fast. The walls of the pit were narrow, and the snake’s hissing and rattling sounded close.
Harry reached the top of the ladder, but it no longer reached the top of the pit! He must have shattered about six feet of the ladder. If he stood on the second-highest rung, he could reach the sunlight falling into the pit at a slant. He could even smell the breeze, filled with the scents of exotic plant life and poop from the native animals. Harry longed to be up there, bathing in it.
He groped around the pit walls but found that the dirt sides were rock hard. There was no way to dig in with his fingers and toes to climb out. The snake reached the ceiling and found that it couldn’t wind upward anymore. Furious, it bumped and thrashed, as if it were trying to will itself upward. The ladder shook. Harry’s hands slipped, and he almost fell off. His feet slid down a couple of rungs.
Harry suddenly had a crazy idea. It might be his only hope. The ladder was shaking more wildly now. It started to tip…
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry launched upward. He smacked against the sheer dirt wall with his hands and feet. Before the statue could demoralize him with its ratings, he shoved off and upward again.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
With each shove-and-jump combo, he tried flipping around like a cat so he could land with his hands and feet against the walls. Each leap inched upward. It was dizzying and painful and would take a lot of time, but he thought it might actually be working.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“Rabbit Jump!”
“Rabbit Jump!”
Higher and higher he went. His breath was ragged. His pulse raced. His ribs felt as if they wanted to vacate his body and find someone who wouldn’t abuse them. He grunted and cried out with every pained movement and slowly ascended toward the surface. Finally—
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry launched out of the pit and into the sunlight as if from a cannon. The statue must have been annoyed by holding back its opinion for so long because the rating and critique came before Harry even hit the ground—for once, feet first, then running and flailing his arms to keep from flopping onto his face.
“Rating: tolerable. For once, my secondhand embarrassment wasn’t triggered. Tip: Have you noticed that your need for food and water is suspended while in the hunting grounds? So you can stop eating so much dirt.”
When Harry regained his balance, he hunched over with one hand braced on his knee and his free arm wrapped around his middle, trying to keep his ribs from moving while he coughed out the dirt he unintentionally inhaled—or ate.
Harry finally stood, walked back to the pit, and looked down. The ladder was gone, and there was movement at the bottom. The snake had destroyed the ladder and was crushing its remains into pulp. It spotted Harry and paused. Then it lunged, launching itself straight into the air, trying to get to Harry, but it couldn’t leap high enough.
Harry backed away from the pit. He’d done it. He’d escaped. Now he needed to find David so they could get out of here.
“Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet activated.”
Harry gingerly set off at a light jog, testing to see how his ribs would feel… They didn’t feel great, but it was somehow tolerable. At least it would be easier than Rabbit Jump and even his beloved Vine Drop. He set off in the general direction of where he last saw David while yelling almost at the top of his lungs.
“David! David, it’s Harry! Where are you? David! Can you hear me?”
Harry wished he had an ability that would project his voice. He kept running and calling for David while the world lazily passed him by.
“David! David, stop destroying the treasures! I need to talk to you! Daaaaaaaaviiiiiid…”
On his left, a dark figure leapt out from behind a tree and tackled Harry to the ground. Harry went down in a tangle of limbs and an overwhelming shock of pain. His eyes slammed shut, and he screamed.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: barely satisfactory. A garden snail moves faster than you. Tip: Can’t you just rub some dirt in it?”
A large hand clamped over Harry’s mouth. Harry’s eyelids popped open. David was hovering over him, looking furious.
“Stop yelling!” David hissed. He removed his hand from Harry’s mouth. “You know there are dangerous things in this hunting ground?”
“I do,” Harry said, “and you’re one of them. You’re the danger. Stop throwing logs at me.”
“Yeah, I didn’t like that ability, either. I felt really bad for throwing those logs at you, so I destroyed the cursed thing.” He pulled back, allowing Harry to sit up.
Harry felt his expression fall. “How many of those things have you destroyed?”
David frowned. “Not many, actually. I thought about what you said, so I’ve only destroyed that one after we talked. I’ve found four other treasures. The statue has been screaming at me to destroy everything in my possession. It's furious that I won’t.” He paused, studying Harry. “I assume you’ve figured out whose challenge is correct. Is it mine or yours?”
“Pretty sure it’s mine,” Harry said, “but first I need you to confirm it.” He described the drawing he found in the underground passage.
“A statue that lies and a statue that tells the truth.” David sucked in his bottom lip and looked away, his cheeks reddening with anger. “Can’t believe we didn’t figure that out. We were both standing in front of the damned thing in the museum.”
“The important thing now is to ask your statue a question and see if it lies.”
“Like what? What did you ask your statue to confirm that it was telling the truth?”
Harry’s cheeks warmed. “Uh, nothing important. You know, the usual stuff. Anyway, ask your statue something verifiable—like how many treasures you’ve destroyed so far.”
“Okay… Statue, how many treasures have I destroyed so far?”
David was silent for a moment and then looked down at the ground. His jaw locked, and his fists clenched.
“You’re the liar!” he said, incredulous. “You’ve been lying to me this whole time!”

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 13

Unknown — Sun, 18 Oct 2026 12:02:33 -0700

Chapter 13: Top marks for entertainment value</h3>
He approached the wall. This drawing was different from the first one he’d seen. Larger. Somehow, it seemed older, as its black lines were smudged and a little faded. Two statues were sitting side-by-side. They were wearing the same hat but had different facial expressions. The first statue’s eyes were half closed, and its expression was serene. The second statue was angry. It had a deranged smile, all teeth. Its eyes were wide and staring, with tiny pupils at the center. Most importantly, across the angry statue’s chest, someone had scribbled words in blood that had dripped down the brick and dried: THIS STATUE LIES.
Harry gasped as a memory flashed through his mind—he was standing inside the museum before the actual statue. It had two faces, one on the front and another on the back. It was two statues in one! How had he not realized this before? Even worse, this was one of the oldest and simplest tricks, and he’d been too worried about basic survival to figure it out:
There are two statues. One only tells the truth. The other only lies.
He and David Ibis must be talking to two different statues. The serene statue that Harry has been talking to isn’t the liar—the angry statue lies! It was the only thing that made sense. He had to find David to confirm it. Fast.
“Statue,” Harry yelled, startling himself with his angry tone and volume. “There are two statues? Two of you?”
“I cannot confirm nor deny. You will need to determine the final answer yourself.”
Harry bit back a litany of complaints.
“Okay, let me try this again. Is there just one statue, but there are two entities sharing the body and giving directions in the hunting grounds?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re the one that tells the truth.”
“I always tell you the truth, Harry.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed. That could still be a massive lie.
“Statue, am I the best challenger who’s ever entered the hunting grounds?”
“If I had a memory lapse and suddenly forgot about the previous eight hundred and forty-seven challengers who came before you, then maybe I could say that you were the best.”
Harry was pretty sure his statue was the truth-teller. But he’d have to locate David to confirm.
“Fine. What about a reward?”
“What reward?”
“For figuring out a discrepancy.” He pointed at the drawing on the wall. “For discovering this drawing and determining that the other statue lies and you’re probably telling the truth.”
“You must confirm with the other challenger before receiving credit. That is, if you can escape this underground passage to do so.”
“What do you mean, if I can escape?”
“I want you to succeed, Harry. The other statue does not.”
Suddenly, the tunnel rumbled and shook, raining dirt and stones. Harry threw up his arms, trying to protect his face and head. Somewhere in the underground passage, he heard a heavy WHUMP, similar to the Vine Drop ending and the vine dumping onto the ground in a tangled pile. But whatever had just thumped onto the floor sounded massive.
An eerie hiss. The echo of a loud rattle.
Cold sweat broke out all over Harry’s body. He hadn’t heard those sounds before. Was it a new danger?
He flexed his hands, clenched them, then flexed them again. He snatched the lone torch from the wall and held it high in front of him, lighting his way. Resolute, he marched toward the sound. The rattling echoed around him again, louder now, threatening to dissolve his nerves. It was a stupid reaction, he knew. The other statue was doing this to scare him and make him turn back.
But there was no going back. The only way Harry could leave the underground passage was by heading toward the sound. He marched on with confident steps, hoping his outward behavior would convince his quaking insides to get with the bravery program.
He turned the corner and froze. The underground passage looked different now. It was no longer pitch black. Torches lined the left wall, spaced regularly, so there were no spots of darkness to hide in. No quicksand, either.
“Statue, you didn’t change the passage, right?”
“No, Harry. My ability to change the training grounds is currently limited.”
“Currently limited? Why?”
Why could the other statue do so much but his statue could do so little? It didn’t make sense. He continued walking, waiting for a response, but the statue didn’t answer. Harry gritted his teeth. It must be another puzzle or discrepancy he’d have to figure out later.
Did it even matter at this point? The most important thing for him to do was find David, determine the correct challenge once and for all, save everyone, and escape this horrible place.
As he continued through the passage, the hissing and rattling grew louder. Harry noticed that his steps weren’t as steadfast as they’d been a minute ago. They were hesitant, and he realized he was tiptoeing. He stepped around another bend and froze.
Ten feet away, coiled in the middle of the path, was a gigantic snake monster. It had mottled brown coloring and was as thick as one of Harry’s legs. Its head was that of a king cobra, and its tail had a rattle on the end. The rattle stuck straight up and shook so hard it blurred in the air, the rattling sound almost deafening. Its neck flaps were fully extended, and its beady black eyes locked onto Harry. Its mouth dropped open with a hiss, revealing needle-sharp fangs. Maybe the statue didn’t know which type of snake seemed scariest so it decided to blend its favorites together?
Harry thought it was tremendously effective. His breath stuttered. He clutched the torch and inched backward until he was hiding around the corner again. But despite being out of the snake’s sight, the hissing and rattling sounds continued, overwhelmingly loud.
After a breath, he peeked back around the corner. The cobra-rattler hadn’t moved. And it was still staring at Harry with its angry, beady eyes. Movement drew his gaze upward: directly above the snake was a large hole in the ceiling that yawned open… then closed. It kept repeating, opening and closing.
The other statue must have opened a pit in the jungle and dropped this snake into Harry’s path. How could he get around it? The snake was enormous; even if he jumped, the snake could easily snatch him out of the air.
He felt hopeless. If he died to this snake and couldn’t stop David from destroying the treasures, everyone else would die. He had to do something, but what? He stood there for a few minutes, considering his options. There weren’t many. In fact, he really had only one.
Frisky Feet. Above a certain speed, he was terrible at it. But it was his only chance to get past the snake and escape. He’d have to risk it.
Harry readjusted his grip on the torch and stepped out. Slowly, he advanced. The cobra-rattler rose a little higher. Its neck-flaps somehow ballooned even larger. Its fangs were sparkling in the torchlight. Harry’s heart pounded in his throat. He felt light-headed. He continued walking forward. Slowly. The rattle was impossibly loud. Once Harry was within throwing range, he raised the torch in the air, then drew back his arm…
Harry hurled the torch straight at the snake. The snake head bobbed, dodging to the side, then whipped around to follow the torch’s movement. It clattered against the wall. Sparks exploded in a blinding display. Hopefully the snake was distracted enough.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry took off like a shot, his feet barely touching the ground. The snake and the torches were a blur. The passage curved and twisted, but Harry was moving so fast that he didn’t even realize the curves were there until he’d ricocheted off of them. Bruises were forming on his shoulders and hips, but he was too afraid to stop—what if the snake was following him? He kept running—
SMASH!
Harry crashed through something hard and brittle, feeling shards pierce his face and arms and tear his shirt and pants. Pain lanced his chest as he breathed. He tried to stop, but his momentum was too great.
“Cancel Frisky Feet! Cancel it!”
Harry suddenly felt as if a parachute had been deployed from his backside. His next few steps were heavy and slow, and then he stopped.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: barely satisfactory. But if I could give you a rating for entertainment value, you’d get top marks. Tip: Ladders are meant for climbing.”
What? Harry turned around. The good news was that he’d made it back to the ladder he’d initially descended, and the snake was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t hear its hissing or rattle, either. The bad news was that he’d crashed through the ladder and destroyed its bottom half. Wood shards lay on the ground, and the rest of the ladder was cockeyed, hanging through the hole in the ceiling. More shards and splinters were stuck in his clothes and hair, and he could feel a few stabbing his arms and his left cheek.
Harry limped back to the ladder and looked up. He could see a square of sunlight high above. Unfortunately, the ladder was quite a few feet from his reach. He didn’t think he was tall enough to jump and grab it. How was he going to get out now? The underground passage did continue on, but when he’d originally run through it, the path seemed designed to go on and on forever, with no end. He wasn’t sure he’d find another ladder.
He was beginning to despise the underground passages. He glanced at the timer in the corner of his vision.
One hour and fifteen minutes remaining. Time was running out. He had to get out of there.
He considered the long underground passage again. If not for the clock, it would be a good, safe option…
A loud hiss filled the air, followed by a rattle. Harry whirled around. The cobra-rattler slithered around the corner. Its long, forked tongue licked the air. Its beady eyes were locked onto Harry.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 12

Unknown — Sun, 11 Oct 2026 13:34:13 -0700

Chapter 12: A balm to your smooshed joy department</h3>
The scorpions lunged.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry pushed off the ground with all fours, his arms and legs splayed like a frightened cat. He rocketed into the air at a perilous angle. The two scorpions on either side of him collided, missing Harry by a mere breath. They hissed and spat, and their massive claws locked onto each other. Harry’s plan worked—the monsters became confused and started fighting each other instead of him.
Unfortunately, the third scorpion in line wasn’t so distracted. It swiveled in place, following Harry’s arc overhead. Its back arched in an attempt to get its tail high enough to reach its prey. Harry flailed, trying to keep his limbs from getting poked or pincered. He smacked the ceiling and fell straight down like a comet—and landed on the scorpion’s back, straddling it… backward.
“Auuuuugh!” Unbearable agony lanced between his legs. He fell forward and wrapped his arms around the scorpion’s tail, trying not to fall off.
“Rating: uh, hahahaha… Well, this is a first. Hahahaha…”
While the statue’s uncontrollable laughter echoed in Harry’s mind, the scorpion screeched and twisted around like a dog trying to catch its own tail. The world blurred. Harry leaned over and vomited, tasting foul bile and water on his tongue. The scorpion must have received a taste of his nasty offering because it stopped spinning and started bucking wildly, trying to fling him off.
Harry clung tighter to the scorpion’s tail, wrapping it in a tight bear hug. He had to get off this crazy beast, but he didn’t want to be launched back into the first two scorpions, so he held on, bouncing painfully on its hard carapace while trying to get the timing right. He couldn’t help screeching every time he landed. The pain, and the fear of his demise, wreaked havoc on his concentration. Up, down, up, down, up—
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Weightless, Harry tumbled clumsily through the air. The world rolled by as if he were a drunken acrobat. He was surrounded by streaks of light and dark and the sounds of snapping and angry hissing. He hit the ground hard on his side and rolled a few feet. Dirt and the metallic tang of his own blood coated his tongue. He froze for a half second, taking mental stock of his wellbeing. Injuries: everywhere. Pain: absolutely.
Harry skittered around to locate the scorpions. They stood frozen in a line, a mere few feet away, facing him. Each one swayed from side to side, as if listening or looking. Pincers open. But they weren’t advancing on him. Not that he was complaining, but why weren’t they moving?
Harry realized that there were no torches where he lay. The darkness that cloaked him was so deep that not even the scorpions could see him. His chest heaved, and his heart pounded. His butt burned where it was cut. He found it a little unbelievable that the scorpions couldn’t hear his thundering pulse.
“Rating: impressive. I hope that your success in this encounter gives hope to your soul and serves as a balm to your smooshed joy department. Tip: It probably won’t. You should probably see your doctor.
Harry closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He’d survived. Barely. He could only hope that he would encounter another ladder out, so he wouldn’t have to face the scorpions again.
Slowly, Harry backed away on his hands and knees and moved deeper into the dark passage. When he could no longer see even a faint outline of the creatures, he struggled to his feet and turned around.
Harry limped deeper into the passage. When he maneuvered around the nearest bend in the tunnel, the light completely died. He was surrounded by a darkness so thick he could almost feel it pushing against him. There was no sound, either. His own movements were muffled. He groped around until he felt the cold dirt wall.
Harry felt as if he’d descended into the heart of Hell. The lack of sensation sent fear rippling down his spine. His erratic pulse thrummed in his ears. He continued forward, taking small, slow steps, cautiously feeling his way through the dark. As he rounded a sharp bend, he started to hear something squishy. Slurpy, even. As if an enormous, wet mouth kept opening and closing rhythmically.
Harry strained his ears. He kept one hand on the wall as he inched forward. The sound grew closer and closer. After another minute, it sounded so close that Harry could have sworn he was right on top of it. It didn’t sound like an animal—too rhythmic. Mechanical? He hadn’t seen anything mechanical in the hunting grounds.
He mentally flipped through all the dangers he’d faced in the underground tunnel so far: the hole that he originally fell through. The monstrous scorpions. He’d also seen things on the tunnel ceiling that corresponded to other traps in the jungle, like the quicksand-looking pit that appeared and disappeared, trying to catch a person unawares and drop them into the tunnel. But he’d seen that on the ceiling. The slurping sound was down low, along the ground.
Harry dropped to his hands and knees and started crawling forward. Slowly. One hand, one knee. Then the other hand, and the other knee. Occasionally he patted the wall to make sure he wasn’t getting turned around in the dark. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. The sound was getting closer. One hand forward—
Something cold and wet slid under his palm. The hard dirt gave out beneath it, and he fell forward, his hand and wrist sinking into something squishy and deep. It hadn’t been there a moment before. He yelped and tried yanking back, but the suction was too strong, and he couldn’t get free. He sank deeper, feeling it on his forearm.
Harry panicked, pulling and yanking and grunting, but he couldn’t free himself. He lost his balance and fell face-first into the goop and was submerged up to his elbow. He tried heaving himself up and out, but the goop had a strong hold and yanked back, threatening to pull him all the way in.
Harry’s mind screamed in alarm: Quicksand! Get free of it!
He fell flat on his stomach, with his head and arm drooped inside the pit of goop, and rolled. The suction was strong—likely magically enhanced by this cursed place! Harry dug his toes into the ground and strained and heaved and tipped sideways. He couldn’t breathe. His ears started ringing, and his lungs felt as if they were about to explode. The goop started to give. Harry rolled and finally broke free with a loud SLUUUUURP!
His back was flat on the packed dirt floor. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and wiped it over his face, removing a thick layer of quicksand from his nose and mouth, and sucked in a lungful of air. His eyes itched. Grit caked his face and hair. He used his dirty sleeve to swipe away the goop from his eyes, then blinked open his eyes to the darkness.
Slurp!
Panting, Harry slid his hand toward the quicksand, his fingers probing lightly above the ground so they wouldn’t get sucked in. But the place where he’d just struggled against the quickstand had returned to hard ground.
Slurp!
Like lightning, Harry jerked his hand up. Then he poked the area directly under his fingers. Quicksand.
It was definitely another one of those ambush-style quicksand pits he’d seen, disappearing and reappearing under you to you unawares. Normally, he wouldn’t be concerned, but he’d have to jump over this one in the dark. He’d have to time it according to the slurping sounds. If he ran and jumped while the quicksand was receding, he should be able to make it.
“Should” being the operative word.
Harry groped around again to find the edge of the quicksand pit, then bent down with his fingers lightly touching the ground, like a sprinter waiting for the starting pistol.
Slurp. Recede. Slurp. Expand.
The quicksand retreated. Harry sprang forward.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He leapt.
Harry went airborne, with his arms stretched in front of him and his legs flailing. For a second, he was elated that he hadn’t yet hit his head on the ceiling—
WHOMP!
Harry’s forehead knocked into something hard. His head snapped back, and he screamed. A moment later, he hit the ground on his side and rolled. Dimly, he realized that he must have hit the inside of a ceiling pit, like the one he’d initially fallen through when he’d first arrived in the hunting grounds.
He wasn’t sure he’d cleared the quicksand; it could be waiting to expand and gobble him up. Time for Frisky Feet!
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
He burst forward, hopefully in the right direction. A moment later, he slammed into a dirt wall and stopped. His head swam as he sprang to his feet, prepared to run in case he still hadn’t cleared the quicksand pit.
“Rating: barely satisfactory. I elevated your rating because I really enjoyed you head-butting the hazards. Aren’t I generous? Tip: You’d have a higher chance of being rated ‘adequate’ if you landed vertically.”
He ignored the statue and listened for the quicksand. The slurping sound was behind him, far enough away that he knew he’d cleared the trap. He put his hand on the wall again and inched forward. He’d only gone another ten steps when he found a sharp right turn.
He felt rough, dry brick of various lengths with at least a finger’s width of mortar between them. Had he found what he was looking for? Elation swept through him. He quickened his pace and followed the wall around the corner. In the distance was a dim light and a left turn. He moved faster now, picking up into an excited jog. As he turned the left corner, he spied a single torch and, in the distance, a dead end—a brick wall.
As Harry had suspected, there was another drawing on the brick.

Twice-Cursed Immortal Cop: Release Date and Cover Reveal!

Unknown — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 13:57:13 -0700

I’m excited to say that we’re getting closer to release day for my next book, Twice-Cursed Immortal Cop! It’s the first book in my new trilogy, the Listowel Voodoo Files. Mark your calendar for November 12! You can reserve your ebook right now:

</a> </div> </div>

Mara Ballerini is newly immortal and hating it.
Six months ago, Mara was attacked, turned immortal, and left for undead. Luckily, she survived the obscure voodoo ritual, and now she’s looking for justice… or vengeance. 
Either one is fine. She isn’t picky.
So, she joins the Immortal State police program and requests training in the one place she can pick up her attacker’s trail: the Immortal State’s newest tourist trap. The same town where a secretive voodoo cult met its end. 
Mara arrives for her first day of training, expecting paperwork and safety videos. Instead, she’s up to her eyeballs in a series of murders and strange thefts. 
The killer is looking for a unique set of curios once owned by the dead voodoo cult that will open a mysterious stone door. So, Mara does what any cop would: she takes the final curio as evidence. 
The killer knows that Mara has the final item and will stop at nothing to reclaim it.
Her magic is misfiring. Her jail cells have no bars. Her only credible witness is a guy running amok in his tighty-whities. The local cops hate her. Her training officer wants to fail her. The only people willing to help her are professional clowns and that ridiculous rock star she ghosted…
And she thinks this case is connected to the person who tried to kill her.
For action, comedy, magical mishaps, and heroines who are assertive with flair, join Mara Ballerini on her first wild adventure. </blockquote>

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 11

Unknown — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 13:47:23 -0700

Chapter 11: I think it’s game over for you</h3>
For the next twenty-five minutes, Harry searched for another underground passage using a combination of Frisky Feet and Vine Drop, and he hadn’t seen a ladder at all. He was starting to get worried. In fact, he was starting to think that he should settle for one of those ominous holes or even take his chances with one of those weird disappearing and reappearing quicksand pits he'd seen before. Just as he thought about turning around, a small yellow dot started blinking at the edge of his vision. It was small, which meant it was pretty far away.
“Cancel Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: passable. You only fell and screamed once, when you ran through that tiny spider web.”
Harry ignored the statue’s comment; he was too distracted to feel embarrassed about it, and that spider web was hardly tiny. He figured he should take a detour and grab the treasure before David could destroy it. Afterward, he could continue his search for more underground passages. He turned and started running toward the yellow dot.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
He’d quickly realized that the trick to using Frisky Feet is to be significantly less frisky. His preferred speed was a casual lope. The pace felt easy, and the world didn't rush by so fast that he couldn't spot objects before he’d crashed into them. It let him watch out for the different traps scattered across the hunting grounds.
The yellow dot quickly grew larger and larger and larger. Then it flew past him, beneath his feet!
“Cancel Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: passable. Why do your limbs look like they’re about to fly off your body?”
Harry skidded to a halt, kicking up dust and leaves and carving long gashes in the dirt with his heels. The yellow dot lay flat against the ground and was blinking madly. The treasure was obviously beneath him, which meant an underground passage. There had to be an entrance somewhere near here! Excited, he started looking.
A few minutes later, he found a ladder at the base of an enormous tree with a complex root system arcing in and out of the ground in a tangled web. The ladder was obscured by the roots, as its wood blended in.
Harry mounted the ladder and scurried down. At the bottom, he startled. The passage led off in two directions. Toward the treasure’s yellow dot, the passageway was light and bright, illuminated with twice as many torches as he’d seen in the previous underground passage. It ran straight, with no obstacles, as far as the eye could see. The tunnel seemed nicer. Clearer. More appealing somehow.
The other direction was the opposite. The tunnel was oppressively dark. Torches were less frequent and their fires smaller. The weak light they emitted seemed to struggle, and the pockets of shadow were larger and darker. Harry held very still, and he could hear clicking, scratching, and the snapping of pincers and jaws hiding in the pockets of darkness.
He swallowed. He did not want to go down that dark path. He wanted the other path—the nicely lit one with the flat ground and no history teacher–eating scorpions in sight. The bright path made sense anyway, since the treasure was that way.
He put the dark path at his back.
“Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet activated.”
Harry took off into the more pleasing tunnel. The yellow dot continued to get larger until it was the size of a quarter.
But after two more minutes of running, the dot didn’t get any bigger. Harry was confused; he should have found the treasure by now. The bright path continued into the distance, seeming neverending. Unease snaked up Harry’s spine. Suspicion needled him.
“Cancel Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: meh. I’m starting to miss your inept acrobatics.”
Harry stopped running. His breath was loud in the passage, and his heart pounded, startling him. His body wasn’t tired; the magical ability took the brunt of the exertion. Instead, he realized it was stress. Something was wrong about this situation.
The torches crackled merrily around him. He turned around and stared in the direction he’d come from. His eyes narrowed.
Why was this passage so light and lovely and the other one so dark and foreboding? He would have considered this before, but he’d been terrified of the dark—and the dangers lurking inside. There had to be a reason for the contrast. And now, after he’d been blissfully running down this long passage, the reason seemed obvious: If Harry were an evil, murdering statue with a secret he didn’t want anyone to know, and he couldn’t erase the evidence, what would he do? He would put as many dangerous traps and obstacles as he could before that secret to deter or kill anyone who dared to find it. It was a simple and effective tactic to keep Harry—and anyone else—from venturing into that passage and finding what lay hidden inside.
Harry abandoned the path of light and ran back to the ladder. He crept past it and stood with his toes touching the edge of darkness. He inched into the shadow, slowly, so that his eyes could adjust. The air turned shockingly cold, and new sounds surrounded him—squeaks and chitters of scorpions ahead and muffled movement overhead that must have been the pits opening and closing like hungry mouths.
He inched in a little more. The sounds of snapping and chittering grew closer. He started to recognize the bulky form of a dull white scorpion. Its tail came as high as Harry’s thighs. It was facing away from him and hadn’t seen him yet. Harry scooted a little closer, trying to figure out the best location to Rabbit Jump past it.
Then another massive lump moved behind the first scorpion. And another. Three scorpions.
Harry pressed a hand over his mouth to keep his scream inside, and he backed up quickly, tiptoeing so he didn’t make any noise. When he reached the ladder, his knees nearly gave out, and he grabbed onto the rungs for support.
He couldn’t do this. Three scorpions? He could barely Rabbit Jump over one! If he was being honest, he could barely Rabbit Jump over none, let alone three of them. He should head back to the surface. The sunlight at the top of the ladder looked bright and warm, coaxing him to abandon this foolishness and climb back up to the jungle where he belonged.
“This is suicide,” he whispered to himself.
But he knew he still had to try to find what was lying hidden in this passage. He had to figure out whether it was his or David’s challenge that was correct. His gut said that the answer was at the end of this path, past the three scorpions. People’s lives were at stake—including his. He had to do this.
Harry released the ladder and crept back into the dark. He squinted at the three scorpions. Although the path was fairly wide, the beasts were so large that they couldn’t stand abreast.
“You can do this,” he muttered, attempting to give himself a pep talk. “You have to do it. Just jump. It doesn’t matter how stupid you look. The point is to get past them alive.”
He bounced on the balls of his feet. Then he jogged in place. Then he patted his cheeks.
“Do the Rabbit Jump, Harry. Be the Rabbit Jump.”
As he studied the scorpions, an idea started to percolate. He licked his lips and backed up a few steps to give himself a runway. He took three jogging steps forward—
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
At the sound of his voice, all three scorpions whirled in his direction. Their loud hisses filled the passage, and their pincers snapped. Long tails waved in the air, tracking his movement, ready to strike.
Harry leapt. The closest scorpion arched its back, trying to jab its pointed stinger into Harry’s soft parts. A sharp pain lanced his left butt-cheek, and he heard his pants tear. He screamed and curled up into a ball as if he were cannonballing into a pool. He hit the dirt ceiling and fell down. Just before he hit the ground, he tried forcing his legs down, but he was falling too fast. He slammed onto the packed dirt, sideways, so hard that his bones rattled and he bit his tongue. The tang of blood coated his mouth.
“Rating: pitiful. Since your last Rabbit Jump, you’ve hit rock bottom and started to dig. Tip: Ah, well, it was nice meeting you, Harry. I think it’s game over for you.
Harry’s head rang. He frantically pushed to his hands and knees. The scorpions closed in.
Continue reading with Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 12</a>

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 10

Unknown — Sun, 27 Sep 2026 11:58:51 -0700

Chapter 10: You feel the need—the need to bleed</h3>
“I knew it! I knew you were taking my cookies!” Harry crowed.
“Look, I'm sorry. I've been on a diet, and it's making me a little crazy. Also, I didn't know that you were mad about the pranks. I thought this was our thing.”
“Our thing?” Harry said. “You did?”
“Yeah. You didn't react to them too much. The kids all said that you were cool about it the first time I did it. I thought you didn't care. I thought it was just our funny thing. They put photos of my prank in the yearbook every year, you know.”
“I’m aware of the photo,” Harry said. "But I didn't want to say anything because the kids love you. I don’t want to be the jerk teacher who nobody likes.”
David grimaced. “I didn't know that. And if it makes you feel better, I feel really bad about the jello melting all over your desk.”
“You mean inside my desk.”
“Yeah. I’m not trying to make you look or feel stupid in front of the students and teachers.”
“Oh really? What about Samantha Diaz's hot mom?”
David’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Huh?”
“In the museum earlier,” Harry said, “you were mocking me to impress her. I didn’t hear what you said, but I could tell that you were making fun of me.”
David’s eyebrows popped high on his head. “What? No, she's into you, man. That’s what we were talking about. I wouldn’t lie about that.”
“What?”
“Yeah, she's liked you for years, ever since her oldest son got into your advanced history class. She’s dropped a lot of hints, but you've never asked her out. Her youngest kid's about to graduate, and she won't have a reason to see you anymore. She was thinking about asking you out instead, but she felt kinda shy. I was encouraging her to do it.”
Harry was stunned. He heard himself say, “Oh, I would have said no.”
David looked at Harry as if he’d suffered a massive concussion. “Why?”
“I thought you liked her, and I didn't want to get in the way,” Harry said.
David actually laughed. “Oh, she's beautiful, but she’s not my type. You guys have a lot in common, though. Trivia nights and theater and fancy wine and whatever.”
“Wow. Thanks.”
“Look, I know we've had our differences,” David said, “and I know you’re probably onto something with our challenges being so different, and maybe we’re being lied to. Probably we are? I honestly don’t know anymore. But I can't just sit around waiting for someone to figure this out. I have to keep going, just in case this is the only way to save everyone.”
Nervous energy surged through Harry, but he wasn’t sure what to do with it. The air was suddenly rife with tension. David looked wary.
“But you can’t go,” Harry said, “not until we’ve figured this out. I can’t…” His pulse spiked, and he swallowed hard, trying to remove a huge lump in his throat. Before he realized what he was doing, he stepped in front of David, hands balled into fists, blocking the path. “I can’t let you leave and destroy more treasures.”
They stared at each other. For a half minute, the timer in the corner was the only thing that moved.
Harry’s mind raced. What was he doing? Was he actually challenging David? He couldn’t stand up against David! Had he hit his head too many times? Damn that idiotic Rabbit Jump!
Finally, David broke the stalemate. He slid his hands into his pockets. He looked and sounded far too calm for whatever stupid bravado had just spewed from Harry’s mouth.
“Harry, I don't want to fight you for those treasures, but I will if I have to.” He stepped around Harry and started walking into the deep shadow of the jungle. His figure started to blend with the darkness and the tiny flickering of light filtering through the leaves.
“You figure it all out,” he called back. “If you do, come find me. Until then…” His voice trailed off.
“Wait!” Harry shouted. He ran after David, but the man was already gone. He shouted into the dark forest, “David, please come back!”
Nobody answered, except for the mocking squawk of an exotic bird. Scowling, Harry turned away.
“Statue,” he hissed. “What’s going on? I already knew that we have conflicting challenges, but you told each of us that our challenge will be what saves everyone. That you'd let them all go—” He sucked in a lungful of air, then bellowed, “—but how can either of us save everyone if we have conflicting challenges?”
His voice echoed through the trees. Birds screamed and fled. Insects and animals fell silent, surrounding Harry with the futile, diminishing sound of his own anger.
“Who are you lying to?” he demanded.
“I am not lying to you, Harry. I have already told you, I cannot lie. When you return ten treasures, the sacred tokens, everyone in the museum will be set free.”
“Then why does David think the same thing about destroying twelve treasures? And actually, you told him they were cursed items.”
“I did no such thing.”
“He says you did,” Harry said. “David Ibis is a lot of things, but he’s not a liar. In fact, he’s usually pretty proud to own up to something. Are you playing some kind of sick game? Explain this discrepancy to me—”
Someone started playing a hand drum. Loudly. Its rhythm was somewhere between a dance and a declaration of war. Harry whirled toward the sound but couldn’t lock down where it was coming from. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. After a few beats, a flute accompanied the drum. The flute’s melody was distinctly South American, but Harry didn’t know enough to say more about it. Somehow, the music’s abrupt entrance reminded Harry of a game show, when a contestant guesses something correctly or unlocks a puzzle.
The music ended just as abruptly. The statue’s voice was strong and unapologetic, and it once again had that weird echo he’d heard a couple of hours ago when it had announced that the timer was starting and his quest to find the treasures had begun.
“The discrepancy is part of the challenge. It is a puzzle you need to solve.”
“Oh, great! So, in addition to finding a bunch of weird magical items in an enormous and dangerous jungle that also has a bunch of unmapped underground passages, I have to figure out why my coworker and I have two conflicting challenges, preferably before he destroys too many treasures, otherwise everyone is going to die, and I only have two hours left to do it all.”
“That is correct.”
“Fantastic!” Harry sneered. “You know that four hours isn’t enough time. What I wouldn’t give for at least one more hour—”
The drumming war beat started again, followed by the jovial trill of the flute, then ended. The statue’s voice was suddenly formal, just like when it announces Harry’s skills activating… and when it mocks him in its ratings of his performance.
“Puzzle discovery: reward redeemed. Reward: one additional hour in the hunting grounds.”
The timer in the bottom corner of Harry’s vision blinked once, and the time changed. An hour was added. Harry stared. The statue’s words bounced around in his skull. He replayed the words over and over in his head. He’d yelled at the statue about a discrepancy. The statue said the word “discrepancy” back. He’d unlocked something important with that one word…
“Statue!” he yelled. “Don’t tell me that I could have requested anything as a reward…”
“There are limits, but the list of potential rewards is fairly comprehensive in order to adequately honor the challenger who uncovered the Discrepancy Puzzle.”
“Next you’re going to tell me that I could have asked for more than one hour.”
“Oh, yes. You could have asked for an additional sixteen hours.”
“Give me an additional sixteen hours, then.”
“I’m sorry, Harry. The reward for the Discrepancy Puzzle has already been redeemed. No exchanges or refunds allowed.”
“I hate you.”
Harry spent the next few minutes pacing back and forth while mumbling and muttering and occasionally cursing to himself. He tries not to swear so that he doesn’t accidentally do it in front of his students. Parents largely prefer to demonstrate the art of cursing to their children themselves.
“So far,” Harry said to himself, “I found the statue drawing and a treasure in the underground passage. Chances are high that I’ll find more down there.”
He stopped pacing.
“Statue, there are more underground passages, right?”
“Yes.”
“Is there a way to find them other than running around aimlessly, looking for ladders or pits to fall into?”
“No.”
Harry wondered whether that was on purpose, to make it harder for anyone to discover the reason for the challenge discrepancies. Or maybe it was another lie.
Maybe it was both.
Harry picked a new direction, one that went away from David.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry took off running.
“You feel the need—the need to bleed.”
“What? OOF!”
Harry collided face-first into the same enormous mahogany he’d hit the first time he’d used the running ability. How had he not seen this tree? It was enormous. Maybe he needed to slow down.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Reason: I tried to warn you.”
“Shut up,” Harry said.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 9

Unknown — Sun, 20 Sep 2026 11:48:26 -0700

Chapter 9: I’ve been stealing your cookies</h3>
Neither of them spoke for a long moment, giving Harry time to guess how well David was doing in the hunting grounds. He thought David looked pretty good for having been trapped inside this homicidal jungle for the past couple of hours. His hair still looked just as nice as it did when he arrived at the school this morning, and his clothes were only lightly soiled—probably from Harry tackling him. He’d even worn sneakers today. Harry silently cursed his foresight.
Harry, on the other hand, assumed that he himself looked like the aftermath of a mud-wrestling match in an inflatable kiddie pool after having been thoroughly trounced by a feral bikini model. His clothes were torn, and his entire body was covered in filth. He could feel grit in his scalp, between his toes, and in his butt crack.
David, of course, was the first to speak. Harry thought it was David’s mission in life to get the first and last word in.
“What the hell?” he sputtered. “Why are you trying to kill me?”
Harry reared back, his eyes wide and incredulous. “Are you kidding me? You're the one trying to kill me—twice! You threw massive tree trunks at me!”
“I didn't know that was you,” David said. “And I wasn’t trying to kill you, per se.”
“Per se?”
“I was trying to defend myself. Obviously. I didn’t know it was you.”
Harry folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I didn't know it was you, either. How did you get here?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” David said. He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face. “Fine. Earlier, when we were arguing in the museum and we touched the statue—”
“You forced me to touch the statue,” Harry said.
“Whatever. After we touched it, two little golden ear cuffs dropped out of the statue and rolled away. You ran for one, and I ran for the other.”
Harry gasped. He’d only seen one golden ear cuff.
David continued, “As soon as I picked up the golden cuff, the statue started barking at me, saying that if I didn’t get into the hunting grounds and destroy twelve cursed items, then the kids and everyone were going to die. Some mystical doorway opened in front of me with a jungle on the other side. I was going to get help, but the statue said that if I told anyone what I was doing or what was happening, everyone would die. I didn’t really have a choice. The whole thing sounded insane, but I was scared for everyone, so I put on the ear cuff and ran through the portal. I’ve been trying to track down these cursed items ever since.”
Harry suddenly had the urge to call down a vine and hang David by his ankles. “You heard the statue wrong. First of all, they’re sacred tokens—”
“What?” David reared back, clearly alarmed. “They’re cursed. Obviously. Why else would they give you the ability to throw massive tree trunks at people?”
“The statue called them ‘sacred tokens’. That’s why they give you cool abilities that help you find the rest of them faster.”
David shook his head, now looking confused. “The statue said they were cursed and had to be destroyed.”
“Well, the statue told me they’re sacred tokens. If I bring ten of them to the statue, the kids and everyone will be released. But that’s impossible when you're doing the opposite of my quest. The treasures are limited. There won’t be enough if you keep destroying them.”
David’s eyebrows pinched together and his forehead wrinkled as if he were trying to stop his thoughts from escaping. “What? No, the statue specifically said I had to destroy them. Twelve cursed items. I asked repeatedly. You’re the one who’s wrong.”
They eyed each other distrustfully.
This was all starting to feel wrong to Harry. Why had the statue given them opposite challenges? Was the challenge a red herring, and it was actually trying to get them to duel to the death?
No, he decided. If that were the case, the treasures would grant better abilities than Vine Drop and Rabbit Jump. He would’ve been given something he could use to break David’s neck instead of his own.
Harry felt his upper lip curl. “The statue told me—repeatedly—that I have to rescue ‘ten treasures, the sacred tokens’ in order to save everyone, and that my opponent—that’s you—will be trying to destroy the treasures I need to save. You’re the bad guy in this scenario, because, according to the statue, there aren’t enough treasures for you to destroy twelve and for me to keep ten.”
“Why would it tell us two different things?” David demanded.
Suddenly, Harry’s chest felt tight, and he felt a little sick to his stomach. Was this some kind of sick game? Or a riddle? Was there no way to save everyone, and the statue was just playing with them? The statue said it couldn’t lie, but Harry couldn’t easily shake off the message he’d found written in blood. Someone had left the warning for a reason.
“Have you been into any of the underground passages?” Harry asked.
“I didn't know there were any. I thought the jungle was the only place to search.”
Harry shook his head. “This place has more traps than your ex-wife. Anyway, I was inside one that had a dead end, blocked by a brick wall. On the wall, someone had drawn the statue, and in blood, they’d written ‘the statue lies’.”
David’s eyes seemed to get as wide as hamster balls. Maybe he hadn’t stopped to consider that something fishy was going on here.
Harry continued, “The statue practically swore to me that it can’t lie. But it also won’t explain the drawing. It said that it wasn’t allowed to elaborate because it would interfere with the challenge.” He paused, letting David digest this news for a moment. Then, “Do you think maybe the statue lied to you?”
“Maybe,” David said. “How in the hell would I figure that out? I’m not a mind reader—and certainly not a mind reader of freaking possessed statues, or whatever that thing is. It told me to save the kids by destroying cursed items, and that’s what I’m doing.”
“Then ask it,” Harry said.
David frowned. “Statue, are you lying to me?”
Harry waited for a response. David’s head cocked to the side like a golden retriever waiting for someone to throw a stick. Harry heard nothing.
“It said no. Maybe it’s lying to you, then.”
“I already told you it said no, too!”
“Well, what do we do now?”
“There’s something really fishy going on here,” Harry said. “We’re essentially being set up to fail. We should stop looking for the treasures until we can figure this out.”
“I was told to destroy them,” he said. “If you’re wrong about this, and we stop, then I’ll lose by default. We’ll waste too much time looking for a solution. We’ve already used up almost half our time, and I’ve only found four items.”
“But something is off here,” Harry said. “If you destroy too many and we realize your challenge is wrong, we can’t take that back.”
“But you keeping the treasures might also be the wrong move.”
“That’s why I’m saying that we need to stop and figure this out first.”
David’s cheeks and neck flushed crimson. He wiped his hands on his pants a few times. He looked as if he might be on the verge of a breakdown. “Your theory isn’t enough, Harry. People’s lives are at stake.”
Harry threw up his hands in exasperation. “Well, that’s typical. It’s just like working with you at school. You like to plow ahead without information and feel it out as we go, and it’s always a disaster that ends with me having to fix everything at the last minute. Why don’t you ever respect my suggestions? You’re always adversarial, and you have to have the last word. Quite frankly, it makes me think you have a problem with me, and you don’t like a lot of hard work.”
David squared his shoulders. “You want the truth? Okay. You have great ideas, Harry. But they’re often a little too ambitious. That’s why I try to temper your expectations a bit. We’re working with high-school kids. Time for each subject is limited, and the kids have a lot of other things going on.”
“Yeah,” Harry said flatly, “sports.”
“No. They’re just kids, and your ideas can be a little too involved and take up too much classroom time. I’m not trying to squash your creativity or whatever.” He let out a huff of exasperation and looked away. “I think you’re a great teacher. In fact, I admire you a lot. You have all these amazing ideas that I wish I had. But just because I’m trying to make the ideas more practical doesn’t mean that I’m trying to undermine you. In fact, I really wish you’d respect my opinion at least once instead of getting all huffy every time I give input.”
He paused and turned back toward Harry. His chin lifted in defiance.
“And yes, I’ve been stealing cookies from your lunch bag.”

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 8

Unknown — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 11:54:26 -0700

Chapter 8: Underwhelming Force Meets Immovable Object</h3>
Harry screamed and flailed, accidentally kicking the crocodile hard on the snout. The croc hissed. Its massive jaw snapped shut, and the beast swung its monstrous head into Harry’s gut. Harry felt himself falling.
“Rabbit Jump canceled. Reason: underwhelming force meets immovable object. Also, weak ankles.”
Harry landed hard on the crocodile’s back. Dirty pond water rushed over him. He swallowed a mouthful of the foul stuff and accidentally snorted some up his nose. The crocodile thrashed wildly in the water, trying to buck him off. Coughing and gagging, Harry clung to the croc with all four limbs, like a koala clinging to its mother. The beast rolled once, twice, dunking Harry under the surface again and again. Then the spinning stopped. Harry gulped a mouthful of air and tried blinking the stinging water from his eyes. The croc beneath him seemed to settle somewhat, but its mouth still opened and closed as if it was imagining what Harry tasted like. The other crocodiles swam closer. Their dark eyes stared greedily.
Harry reached up and patted his own head. His fedora—with its Rabbit Jump ability—was still with him! He didn’t have time to give thanks. He got up on all fours on the croc’s back. In one movement, he let go with his arms and jumped.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry flung himself forward. All three crocodiles leapt for him and collided, and he smacked into one’s back. His arms wrapped around the enormous, muscular beast as it belly-flopped onto the surface. Harry gagged.
“Rating: pitiful. You have reached rock bottom and are showing signs of starting to dig. Tip: Envision the Rabbit Jump, Harry. Be the Rabbit Jump.”
Harry didn’t have any hands available to flip off the statue; he was too busy clinging on for dear life. The croc hissed and growled, doing three consecutive barrel rolls, presumably to drown him so it could eat him. But Harry’s will to survive, and the sheer terror surging through him, had never felt so strong. He clung on. Finally, the crocodile settled and just floated, its mouth opening and closing while hissing. Harry hugged the croc and panted… until the other two started closing in.
Harry got up on all fours. His legs wobbled beneath him.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry leapt into the air. His body becomes weightless. All three crocs sprang up again, with their jaws snapping. The one closest to Harry rose so high that all four of its legs left the water. Harry screamed as he sailed overhead with his arms and legs churning as if somehow the movement could make him go higher or farther.
Harry tumbled into the dirt and rolled, collecting a coating like cinnamon sugar on a ball of cookie dough. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, dripping water everywhere, watching to see if the crocodiles were going to charge out of the water and give chase.
“Rating: underwhelming. You jump sufficiently to keep yourself alive, but you land as if you’re trying to knock yourself unconscious. Tip: I’m starting to question your dedication to Rabbit Jump.”
The crocodiles remained in the water, but their eyes stayed glued to Harry. Occasionally, their mouths would open and close threateningly, but they stayed where they were, floating just beneath the surface so only their heads were visible.
Hacking and coughing, Harry crawled from the edge of the water into the grass, then collapsed onto the ground. When he could breathe clearly again, he rolled onto his back. His waterlogged clothes soaked the ground. He stared angrily up at the sky.
“Those were not helpful tips!” he shouted. “And my ankles are not weak. They are normal, thank you very much.”
The statue didn’t respond.
Harry wasn’t sure how much more of this place he could take. The timer in the bottom corner said that he had two hours and thirty minutes remaining, but he wasn’t sure he’d survive the next few minutes.
He staggered up onto his feet and doggedly made his way through the jungle, following the flashing yellow circle.
It led him to two large stones, one resting upon the other. The circle flashed over the small space between them. This time, Harry was too spent to worry about what might be waiting inside. Besides, the space was too small for anything too dangerous.
He reached inside and felt something hard and smooth and cool to the touch. He pulled it out. An enormous gold ring! Serpents were engraved along the outside of the band. Unidentifiable symbols were engraved inside.
He slid the ring onto his left index finger. It was still too loose and would likely fall off. Harry didn’t want to lose it, so he pulled it off.
But the ring wouldn’t come off. Something held it in place. As he yanked on the ring, he realized that it was starting to shrink. Harry started to panic.
“Statue! What’s going on with this ring?”
“What do you mean?”
The band continued to shrink. Harry could feel it getting snug.
“It’s getting smaller! Is it going to snap off my finger? I’m very attached to my index finger. I need my index finger! Make it stop!”
The statue didn’t respond. A few seconds later, the ring stopped shrinking. It now fit nicely on his finger. It even slid off when he pulled. He slid it back on, just to make sure that it still would. He pulled it off again, then slid it back on, just to make really sure.
More symbols sprinkled into his vision. Harry thought they looked similar to the ones engraved inside the ring. They were soon replaced with words that Harry understood: “Frisky Feet.”
Harry stared at the words. His eyes narrowed.
“Who’s choosing these stupid ability names?” he hissed. Then he sighed. “Fine. Frisky Feet.”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry felt nothing until he took a step forward—
VROOM!
His legs worked on their own, in a swift jog, easily twice as fast as he normally went. The movement felt easy and refreshing, and he could already tell that he wasn’t tiring. He pushed himself into a run. He wasn’t even sweating.
“I am Usain Bolt—”
BLAMMO.
Harry cried out in pain. White stars danced before his eyes. He collapsed back onto the ground and stared up at a mahogany tree with a trunk as big around as a monster-truck tire.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Reason: You used your feet without using your eyeballs.”
He sat up. This time he gave the statue a one-fingered salute.
A branch snapped behind him, loud and sudden. Startled, Harry leapt to his feet.
About ten feet away, a dark figure stood in the shade of a nearby tree. His face was shadowed, but Harry would have recognized the guy anywhere.
It was his opponent. He must have followed the same treasure’s signal.
The man reached behind himself. An enormous tree trunk sailed over his shoulder, turned sideways in the air, hit the ground, and started rolling toward Harry. The log was so thick that Harry couldn’t even see his opponent over it. The ground rumbled and shook. Harry took a few steps back and turned to run.
Then he stopped. His hands balled into fists.
He was sick and tired of this horrible training ground. He’s been pummeled, smooshed, smacked, chased, nearly drowned, nearly eaten, and terrified the entire time. All he wanted to do was save a bunch of innocent people—mostly kids! What kind of sicko wanted to prevent that? Harry knew he should flee. His Rabbit Jump sucked, and he hadn’t practiced Frisky Feet. Right now, using them might get him killed.
But he was sick of giving up.
The rolling log was almost upon him. Harry sprinted toward it. “Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He jumped. His arms pumped in the air as he cleared the log. When he hit the ground, he rolled a couple of times, then pushed to his feet. A second log was coming toward him. Luckily, he was expecting it.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry leapt straight into the air, clearing the log. As he plummeted back toward the ground, he saw his opponent under the tree. Somehow, Harry thought the guy seemed startled—he had even taken a step backward. His arm drew back, as if to throw another log, but then he apparently changed his mind. As Harry spilled out on the ground, his opponent turned and ran away.
“Rating: barely satisfactory. You leapt into the air like a superhero. You fell back to earth like a potato. Tip: I may have been incorrect in my assessment. I believe a potato is more aerodynamic than you were.”
Harry was barely listening, and he didn’t have time to complain about another non-helpful non-tip.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
The scenery blurred past Harry in streaks of greens and browns. His opponent was the target at the center of his vision and he didn’t dare look away. He started gaining. Easily. His opponent reached into the air and tried throwing another log back at Harry, but his aim was off, and he threw it to the side. The log was going to take a long time to circle back around.
The guy made a critical error and dashed off into a thick cluster of trees. The branches were low, strong, and leafy. Driven by anger and adrenaline, Harry rushed after him. A few feet before he reached the trees, he held out his hands, palms up.
“Vine Drop!”
“Frisky Feet canceled. You activate Vine Drop.”
Harry grabbed the vine and swung, fast, eating up some of the distance between him and his opponent’s dark form. Another massive tree trunk came crashing toward him, ghosting through the standing trees and flattening the smaller bushes.
“Vine Drop!”
“You activate Vine Drop.”
Harry swung over the log, then dropped to the ground. He called up another Vine Drop. Then another. His opponent was so close that Harry could hear his heavy footfalls and hard, quick breaths. Harry kept calling up vines, swinging ever closer.
His opponent was just ahead. Harry released his last vine and soared through the air. His opponent was within reach. He thrust out his arms and tackled the man.
“Oof!”
They both let out startled cries—Harry’s was pained, and his opponent’s was shocked. Harry bear-hugged the guy, just as he’d done with the crocodiles. They rolled through the dirt and underbrush.
Harry heard a familiar voice.
“Hey, stop! What are you doing? Get off me!”
Harry let go of the man and rolled to his feet. The man jumped up and whirled on Harry. Then they both stared in total shock.
Holy crap. Harry’s opponent was his professional nemesis, the one responsible for this entire situation: David freaking Ibis.