Jen Kirchner

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 13

Unknown — Sun, 18 Oct 2026 12:02:33 -0700

Chapter 13: Top marks for entertainment value</h3>
He approached the wall. This drawing was different from the first one he’d seen. Larger. Somehow, it seemed older, as its black lines were smudged and a little faded. Two statues were sitting side-by-side. They were wearing the same hat but had different facial expressions. The first statue’s eyes were half closed, and its expression was serene. The second statue was angry. It had a deranged smile, all teeth. Its eyes were wide and staring, with tiny pupils at the center. Most importantly, across the angry statue’s chest, someone had scribbled words in blood that had dripped down the brick and dried: THIS STATUE LIES.
Harry gasped as a memory flashed through his mind—he was standing inside the museum before the actual statue. It had two faces, one on the front and another on the back. It was two statues in one! How had he not realized this before? Even worse, this was one of the oldest and simplest tricks, and he’d been too worried about basic survival to figure it out:
There are two statues. One only tells the truth. The other only lies.
He and David Ibis must be talking to two different statues. The serene statue that Harry has been talking to isn’t the liar—the angry statue lies! It was the only thing that made sense. He had to find David to confirm it. Fast.
“Statue,” Harry yelled, startling himself with his angry tone and volume. “There are two statues? Two of you?”
“I cannot confirm nor deny. You will need to determine the final answer yourself.”
Harry bit back a litany of complaints.
“Okay, let me try this again. Is there just one statue, but there are two entities sharing the body and giving directions in the hunting grounds?”
“Yes.”
“And you’re the one that tells the truth.”
“I always tell you the truth, Harry.”
Harry’s eyes narrowed. That could still be a massive lie.
“Statue, am I the best challenger who’s ever entered the hunting grounds?”
“If I had a memory lapse and suddenly forgot about the previous eight hundred and forty-seven challengers who came before you, then maybe I could say that you were the best.”
Harry was pretty sure his statue was the truth-teller. But he’d have to locate David to confirm.
“Fine. What about a reward?”
“What reward?”
“For figuring out a discrepancy.” He pointed at the drawing on the wall. “For discovering this drawing and determining that the other statue lies and you’re probably telling the truth.”
“You must confirm with the other challenger before receiving credit. That is, if you can escape this underground passage to do so.”
“What do you mean, if I can escape?”
“I want you to succeed, Harry. The other statue does not.”
Suddenly, the tunnel rumbled and shook, raining dirt and stones. Harry threw up his arms, trying to protect his face and head. Somewhere in the underground passage, he heard a heavy WHUMP, similar to the Vine Drop ending and the vine dumping onto the ground in a tangled pile. But whatever had just thumped onto the floor sounded massive.
An eerie hiss. The echo of a loud rattle.
Cold sweat broke out all over Harry’s body. He hadn’t heard those sounds before. Was it a new danger?
He flexed his hands, clenched them, then flexed them again. He snatched the lone torch from the wall and held it high in front of him, lighting his way. Resolute, he marched toward the sound. The rattling echoed around him again, louder now, threatening to dissolve his nerves. It was a stupid reaction, he knew. The other statue was doing this to scare him and make him turn back.
But there was no going back. The only way Harry could leave the underground passage was by heading toward the sound. He marched on with confident steps, hoping his outward behavior would convince his quaking insides to get with the bravery program.
He turned the corner and froze. The underground passage looked different now. It was no longer pitch black. Torches lined the left wall, spaced regularly, so there were no spots of darkness to hide in. No quicksand, either.
“Statue, you didn’t change the passage, right?”
“No, Harry. My ability to change the training grounds is currently limited.”
“Currently limited? Why?”
Why could the other statue do so much but his statue could do so little? It didn’t make sense. He continued walking, waiting for a response, but the statue didn’t answer. Harry gritted his teeth. It must be another puzzle or discrepancy he’d have to figure out later.
Did it even matter at this point? The most important thing for him to do was find David, determine the correct challenge once and for all, save everyone, and escape this horrible place.
As he continued through the passage, the hissing and rattling grew louder. Harry noticed that his steps weren’t as steadfast as they’d been a minute ago. They were hesitant, and he realized he was tiptoeing. He stepped around another bend and froze.
Ten feet away, coiled in the middle of the path, was a gigantic snake monster. It had mottled brown coloring and was as thick as one of Harry’s legs. Its head was that of a king cobra, and its tail had a rattle on the end. The rattle stuck straight up and shook so hard it blurred in the air, the rattling sound almost deafening. Its neck flaps were fully extended, and its beady black eyes locked onto Harry. Its mouth dropped open with a hiss, revealing needle-sharp fangs. Maybe the statue didn’t know which type of snake seemed scariest so it decided to blend its favorites together?
Harry thought it was tremendously effective. His breath stuttered. He clutched the torch and inched backward until he was hiding around the corner again. But despite being out of the snake’s sight, the hissing and rattling sounds continued, overwhelmingly loud.
After a breath, he peeked back around the corner. The cobra-rattler hadn’t moved. And it was still staring at Harry with its angry, beady eyes. Movement drew his gaze upward: directly above the snake was a large hole in the ceiling that yawned open… then closed. It kept repeating, opening and closing.
The other statue must have opened a pit in the jungle and dropped this snake into Harry’s path. How could he get around it? The snake was enormous; even if he jumped, the snake could easily snatch him out of the air.
He felt hopeless. If he died to this snake and couldn’t stop David from destroying the treasures, everyone else would die. He had to do something, but what? He stood there for a few minutes, considering his options. There weren’t many. In fact, he really had only one.
Frisky Feet. Above a certain speed, he was terrible at it. But it was his only chance to get past the snake and escape. He’d have to risk it.
Harry readjusted his grip on the torch and stepped out. Slowly, he advanced. The cobra-rattler rose a little higher. Its neck-flaps somehow ballooned even larger. Its fangs were sparkling in the torchlight. Harry’s heart pounded in his throat. He felt light-headed. He continued walking forward. Slowly. The rattle was impossibly loud. Once Harry was within throwing range, he raised the torch in the air, then drew back his arm…
Harry hurled the torch straight at the snake. The snake head bobbed, dodging to the side, then whipped around to follow the torch’s movement. It clattered against the wall. Sparks exploded in a blinding display. Hopefully the snake was distracted enough.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry took off like a shot, his feet barely touching the ground. The snake and the torches were a blur. The passage curved and twisted, but Harry was moving so fast that he didn’t even realize the curves were there until he’d ricocheted off of them. Bruises were forming on his shoulders and hips, but he was too afraid to stop—what if the snake was following him? He kept running—
SMASH!
Harry crashed through something hard and brittle, feeling shards pierce his face and arms and tear his shirt and pants. Pain lanced his chest as he breathed. He tried to stop, but his momentum was too great.
“Cancel Frisky Feet! Cancel it!”
Harry suddenly felt as if a parachute had been deployed from his backside. His next few steps were heavy and slow, and then he stopped.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: barely satisfactory. But if I could give you a rating for entertainment value, you’d get top marks. Tip: Ladders are meant for climbing.”
What? Harry turned around. The good news was that he’d made it back to the ladder he’d initially descended, and the snake was nowhere to be seen. He didn’t hear its hissing or rattle, either. The bad news was that he’d crashed through the ladder and destroyed its bottom half. Wood shards lay on the ground, and the rest of the ladder was cockeyed, hanging through the hole in the ceiling. More shards and splinters were stuck in his clothes and hair, and he could feel a few stabbing his arms and his left cheek.
Harry limped back to the ladder and looked up. He could see a square of sunlight high above. Unfortunately, the ladder was quite a few feet from his reach. He didn’t think he was tall enough to jump and grab it. How was he going to get out now? The underground passage did continue on, but when he’d originally run through it, the path seemed designed to go on and on forever, with no end. He wasn’t sure he’d find another ladder.
He was beginning to despise the underground passages. He glanced at the timer in the corner of his vision.
One hour and fifteen minutes remaining. Time was running out. He had to get out of there.
He considered the long underground passage again. If not for the clock, it would be a good, safe option…
A loud hiss filled the air, followed by a rattle. Harry whirled around. The cobra-rattler slithered around the corner. Its long, forked tongue licked the air. Its beady eyes were locked onto Harry.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 12

Unknown — Sun, 11 Oct 2026 13:34:13 -0700

Chapter 12: A balm to your smooshed joy department</h3>
The scorpions lunged.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry pushed off the ground with all fours, his arms and legs splayed like a frightened cat. He rocketed into the air at a perilous angle. The two scorpions on either side of him collided, missing Harry by a mere breath. They hissed and spat, and their massive claws locked onto each other. Harry’s plan worked—the monsters became confused and started fighting each other instead of him.
Unfortunately, the third scorpion in line wasn’t so distracted. It swiveled in place, following Harry’s arc overhead. Its back arched in an attempt to get its tail high enough to reach its prey. Harry flailed, trying to keep his limbs from getting poked or pincered. He smacked the ceiling and fell straight down like a comet—and landed on the scorpion’s back, straddling it… backward.
“Auuuuugh!” Unbearable agony lanced between his legs. He fell forward and wrapped his arms around the scorpion’s tail, trying not to fall off.
“Rating: uh, hahahaha… Well, this is a first. Hahahaha…”
While the statue’s uncontrollable laughter echoed in Harry’s mind, the scorpion screeched and twisted around like a dog trying to catch its own tail. The world blurred. Harry leaned over and vomited, tasting foul bile and water on his tongue. The scorpion must have received a taste of his nasty offering because it stopped spinning and started bucking wildly, trying to fling him off.
Harry clung tighter to the scorpion’s tail, wrapping it in a tight bear hug. He had to get off this crazy beast, but he didn’t want to be launched back into the first two scorpions, so he held on, bouncing painfully on its hard carapace while trying to get the timing right. He couldn’t help screeching every time he landed. The pain, and the fear of his demise, wreaked havoc on his concentration. Up, down, up, down, up—
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Weightless, Harry tumbled clumsily through the air. The world rolled by as if he were a drunken acrobat. He was surrounded by streaks of light and dark and the sounds of snapping and angry hissing. He hit the ground hard on his side and rolled a few feet. Dirt and the metallic tang of his own blood coated his tongue. He froze for a half second, taking mental stock of his wellbeing. Injuries: everywhere. Pain: absolutely.
Harry skittered around to locate the scorpions. They stood frozen in a line, a mere few feet away, facing him. Each one swayed from side to side, as if listening or looking. Pincers open. But they weren’t advancing on him. Not that he was complaining, but why weren’t they moving?
Harry realized that there were no torches where he lay. The darkness that cloaked him was so deep that not even the scorpions could see him. His chest heaved, and his heart pounded. His butt burned where it was cut. He found it a little unbelievable that the scorpions couldn’t hear his thundering pulse.
“Rating: impressive. I hope that your success in this encounter gives hope to your soul and serves as a balm to your smooshed joy department. Tip: It probably won’t. You should probably see your doctor.
Harry closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He’d survived. Barely. He could only hope that he would encounter another ladder out, so he wouldn’t have to face the scorpions again.
Slowly, Harry backed away on his hands and knees and moved deeper into the dark passage. When he could no longer see even a faint outline of the creatures, he struggled to his feet and turned around.
Harry limped deeper into the passage. When he maneuvered around the nearest bend in the tunnel, the light completely died. He was surrounded by a darkness so thick he could almost feel it pushing against him. There was no sound, either. His own movements were muffled. He groped around until he felt the cold dirt wall.
Harry felt as if he’d descended into the heart of Hell. The lack of sensation sent fear rippling down his spine. His erratic pulse thrummed in his ears. He continued forward, taking small, slow steps, cautiously feeling his way through the dark. As he rounded a sharp bend, he started to hear something squishy. Slurpy, even. As if an enormous, wet mouth kept opening and closing rhythmically.
Harry strained his ears. He kept one hand on the wall as he inched forward. The sound grew closer and closer. After another minute, it sounded so close that Harry could have sworn he was right on top of it. It didn’t sound like an animal—too rhythmic. Mechanical? He hadn’t seen anything mechanical in the hunting grounds.
He mentally flipped through all the dangers he’d faced in the underground tunnel so far: the hole that he originally fell through. The monstrous scorpions. He’d also seen things on the tunnel ceiling that corresponded to other traps in the jungle, like the quicksand-looking pit that appeared and disappeared, trying to catch a person unawares and drop them into the tunnel. But he’d seen that on the ceiling. The slurping sound was down low, along the ground.
Harry dropped to his hands and knees and started crawling forward. Slowly. One hand, one knee. Then the other hand, and the other knee. Occasionally he patted the wall to make sure he wasn’t getting turned around in the dark. Slurp. Slurp. Slurp. The sound was getting closer. One hand forward—
Something cold and wet slid under his palm. The hard dirt gave out beneath it, and he fell forward, his hand and wrist sinking into something squishy and deep. It hadn’t been there a moment before. He yelped and tried yanking back, but the suction was too strong, and he couldn’t get free. He sank deeper, feeling it on his forearm.
Harry panicked, pulling and yanking and grunting, but he couldn’t free himself. He lost his balance and fell face-first into the goop and was submerged up to his elbow. He tried heaving himself up and out, but the goop had a strong hold and yanked back, threatening to pull him all the way in.
Harry’s mind screamed in alarm: Quicksand! Get free of it!
He fell flat on his stomach, with his head and arm drooped inside the pit of goop, and rolled. The suction was strong—likely magically enhanced by this cursed place! Harry dug his toes into the ground and strained and heaved and tipped sideways. He couldn’t breathe. His ears started ringing, and his lungs felt as if they were about to explode. The goop started to give. Harry rolled and finally broke free with a loud SLUUUUURP!
His back was flat on the packed dirt floor. He grabbed the hem of his shirt and wiped it over his face, removing a thick layer of quicksand from his nose and mouth, and sucked in a lungful of air. His eyes itched. Grit caked his face and hair. He used his dirty sleeve to swipe away the goop from his eyes, then blinked open his eyes to the darkness.
Slurp!
Panting, Harry slid his hand toward the quicksand, his fingers probing lightly above the ground so they wouldn’t get sucked in. But the place where he’d just struggled against the quickstand had returned to hard ground.
Slurp!
Like lightning, Harry jerked his hand up. Then he poked the area directly under his fingers. Quicksand.
It was definitely another one of those ambush-style quicksand pits he’d seen, disappearing and reappearing under you to you unawares. Normally, he wouldn’t be concerned, but he’d have to jump over this one in the dark. He’d have to time it according to the slurping sounds. If he ran and jumped while the quicksand was receding, he should be able to make it.
“Should” being the operative word.
Harry groped around again to find the edge of the quicksand pit, then bent down with his fingers lightly touching the ground, like a sprinter waiting for the starting pistol.
Slurp. Recede. Slurp. Expand.
The quicksand retreated. Harry sprang forward.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He leapt.
Harry went airborne, with his arms stretched in front of him and his legs flailing. For a second, he was elated that he hadn’t yet hit his head on the ceiling—
WHOMP!
Harry’s forehead knocked into something hard. His head snapped back, and he screamed. A moment later, he hit the ground on his side and rolled. Dimly, he realized that he must have hit the inside of a ceiling pit, like the one he’d initially fallen through when he’d first arrived in the hunting grounds.
He wasn’t sure he’d cleared the quicksand; it could be waiting to expand and gobble him up. Time for Frisky Feet!
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
He burst forward, hopefully in the right direction. A moment later, he slammed into a dirt wall and stopped. His head swam as he sprang to his feet, prepared to run in case he still hadn’t cleared the quicksand pit.
“Rating: barely satisfactory. I elevated your rating because I really enjoyed you head-butting the hazards. Aren’t I generous? Tip: You’d have a higher chance of being rated ‘adequate’ if you landed vertically.”
He ignored the statue and listened for the quicksand. The slurping sound was behind him, far enough away that he knew he’d cleared the trap. He put his hand on the wall again and inched forward. He’d only gone another ten steps when he found a sharp right turn.
He felt rough, dry brick of various lengths with at least a finger’s width of mortar between them. Had he found what he was looking for? Elation swept through him. He quickened his pace and followed the wall around the corner. In the distance was a dim light and a left turn. He moved faster now, picking up into an excited jog. As he turned the left corner, he spied a single torch and, in the distance, a dead end—a brick wall.
As Harry had suspected, there was another drawing on the brick.

Twice-Cursed Immortal Cop: Release Date and Cover Reveal!

Unknown — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 13:57:13 -0700

I’m excited to say that we’re getting closer to release day for my next book, Twice-Cursed Immortal Cop! It’s the first book in my new trilogy, the Listowel Voodoo Files. Mark your calendar for November 12! You can reserve your ebook right now:

</a> </div> </div>

Mara Ballerini is newly immortal and hating it.
Six months ago, Mara was attacked, turned immortal, and left for undead. Luckily, she survived the obscure voodoo ritual, and now she’s looking for justice… or vengeance. 
Either one is fine. She isn’t picky.
So, she joins the Immortal State police program and requests training in the one place she can pick up her attacker’s trail: the Immortal State’s newest tourist trap. The same town where a secretive voodoo cult met its end. 
Mara arrives for her first day of training, expecting paperwork and safety videos. Instead, she’s up to her eyeballs in a series of murders and strange thefts. 
The killer is looking for a unique set of curios once owned by the dead voodoo cult that will open a mysterious stone door. So, Mara does what any cop would: she takes the final curio as evidence. 
The killer knows that Mara has the final item and will stop at nothing to reclaim it.
Her magic is misfiring. Her jail cells have no bars. Her only credible witness is a guy running amok in his tighty-whities. The local cops hate her. Her training officer wants to fail her. The only people willing to help her are professional clowns and that ridiculous rock star she ghosted…
And she thinks this case is connected to the person who tried to kill her.
For action, comedy, magical mishaps, and heroines who are assertive with flair, join Mara Ballerini on her first wild adventure. </blockquote>

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 11

Unknown — Sun, 04 Oct 2026 13:47:23 -0700

Chapter 11: I think it’s game over for you</h3>
For the next twenty-five minutes, Harry searched for another underground passage using a combination of Frisky Feet and Vine Drop, and he hadn’t seen a ladder at all. He was starting to get worried. In fact, he was starting to think that he should settle for one of those ominous holes or even take his chances with one of those weird disappearing and reappearing quicksand pits he'd seen before. Just as he thought about turning around, a small yellow dot started blinking at the edge of his vision. It was small, which meant it was pretty far away.
“Cancel Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: passable. You only fell and screamed once, when you ran through that tiny spider web.”
Harry ignored the statue’s comment; he was too distracted to feel embarrassed about it, and that spider web was hardly tiny. He figured he should take a detour and grab the treasure before David could destroy it. Afterward, he could continue his search for more underground passages. He turned and started running toward the yellow dot.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
He’d quickly realized that the trick to using Frisky Feet is to be significantly less frisky. His preferred speed was a casual lope. The pace felt easy, and the world didn't rush by so fast that he couldn't spot objects before he’d crashed into them. It let him watch out for the different traps scattered across the hunting grounds.
The yellow dot quickly grew larger and larger and larger. Then it flew past him, beneath his feet!
“Cancel Frisky Feet!”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: passable. Why do your limbs look like they’re about to fly off your body?”
Harry skidded to a halt, kicking up dust and leaves and carving long gashes in the dirt with his heels. The yellow dot lay flat against the ground and was blinking madly. The treasure was obviously beneath him, which meant an underground passage. There had to be an entrance somewhere near here! Excited, he started looking.
A few minutes later, he found a ladder at the base of an enormous tree with a complex root system arcing in and out of the ground in a tangled web. The ladder was obscured by the roots, as its wood blended in.
Harry mounted the ladder and scurried down. At the bottom, he startled. The passage led off in two directions. Toward the treasure’s yellow dot, the passageway was light and bright, illuminated with twice as many torches as he’d seen in the previous underground passage. It ran straight, with no obstacles, as far as the eye could see. The tunnel seemed nicer. Clearer. More appealing somehow.
The other direction was the opposite. The tunnel was oppressively dark. Torches were less frequent and their fires smaller. The weak light they emitted seemed to struggle, and the pockets of shadow were larger and darker. Harry held very still, and he could hear clicking, scratching, and the snapping of pincers and jaws hiding in the pockets of darkness.
He swallowed. He did not want to go down that dark path. He wanted the other path—the nicely lit one with the flat ground and no history teacher–eating scorpions in sight. The bright path made sense anyway, since the treasure was that way.
He put the dark path at his back.
“Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet activated.”
Harry took off into the more pleasing tunnel. The yellow dot continued to get larger until it was the size of a quarter.
But after two more minutes of running, the dot didn’t get any bigger. Harry was confused; he should have found the treasure by now. The bright path continued into the distance, seeming neverending. Unease snaked up Harry’s spine. Suspicion needled him.
“Cancel Frisky Feet.”
“Frisky Feet canceled. Rating: meh. I’m starting to miss your inept acrobatics.”
Harry stopped running. His breath was loud in the passage, and his heart pounded, startling him. His body wasn’t tired; the magical ability took the brunt of the exertion. Instead, he realized it was stress. Something was wrong about this situation.
The torches crackled merrily around him. He turned around and stared in the direction he’d come from. His eyes narrowed.
Why was this passage so light and lovely and the other one so dark and foreboding? He would have considered this before, but he’d been terrified of the dark—and the dangers lurking inside. There had to be a reason for the contrast. And now, after he’d been blissfully running down this long passage, the reason seemed obvious: If Harry were an evil, murdering statue with a secret he didn’t want anyone to know, and he couldn’t erase the evidence, what would he do? He would put as many dangerous traps and obstacles as he could before that secret to deter or kill anyone who dared to find it. It was a simple and effective tactic to keep Harry—and anyone else—from venturing into that passage and finding what lay hidden inside.
Harry abandoned the path of light and ran back to the ladder. He crept past it and stood with his toes touching the edge of darkness. He inched into the shadow, slowly, so that his eyes could adjust. The air turned shockingly cold, and new sounds surrounded him—squeaks and chitters of scorpions ahead and muffled movement overhead that must have been the pits opening and closing like hungry mouths.
He inched in a little more. The sounds of snapping and chittering grew closer. He started to recognize the bulky form of a dull white scorpion. Its tail came as high as Harry’s thighs. It was facing away from him and hadn’t seen him yet. Harry scooted a little closer, trying to figure out the best location to Rabbit Jump past it.
Then another massive lump moved behind the first scorpion. And another. Three scorpions.
Harry pressed a hand over his mouth to keep his scream inside, and he backed up quickly, tiptoeing so he didn’t make any noise. When he reached the ladder, his knees nearly gave out, and he grabbed onto the rungs for support.
He couldn’t do this. Three scorpions? He could barely Rabbit Jump over one! If he was being honest, he could barely Rabbit Jump over none, let alone three of them. He should head back to the surface. The sunlight at the top of the ladder looked bright and warm, coaxing him to abandon this foolishness and climb back up to the jungle where he belonged.
“This is suicide,” he whispered to himself.
But he knew he still had to try to find what was lying hidden in this passage. He had to figure out whether it was his or David’s challenge that was correct. His gut said that the answer was at the end of this path, past the three scorpions. People’s lives were at stake—including his. He had to do this.
Harry released the ladder and crept back into the dark. He squinted at the three scorpions. Although the path was fairly wide, the beasts were so large that they couldn’t stand abreast.
“You can do this,” he muttered, attempting to give himself a pep talk. “You have to do it. Just jump. It doesn’t matter how stupid you look. The point is to get past them alive.”
He bounced on the balls of his feet. Then he jogged in place. Then he patted his cheeks.
“Do the Rabbit Jump, Harry. Be the Rabbit Jump.”
As he studied the scorpions, an idea started to percolate. He licked his lips and backed up a few steps to give himself a runway. He took three jogging steps forward—
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
At the sound of his voice, all three scorpions whirled in his direction. Their loud hisses filled the passage, and their pincers snapped. Long tails waved in the air, tracking his movement, ready to strike.
Harry leapt. The closest scorpion arched its back, trying to jab its pointed stinger into Harry’s soft parts. A sharp pain lanced his left butt-cheek, and he heard his pants tear. He screamed and curled up into a ball as if he were cannonballing into a pool. He hit the dirt ceiling and fell down. Just before he hit the ground, he tried forcing his legs down, but he was falling too fast. He slammed onto the packed dirt, sideways, so hard that his bones rattled and he bit his tongue. The tang of blood coated his mouth.
“Rating: pitiful. Since your last Rabbit Jump, you’ve hit rock bottom and started to dig. Tip: Ah, well, it was nice meeting you, Harry. I think it’s game over for you.
Harry’s head rang. He frantically pushed to his hands and knees. The scorpions closed in.
Continue reading with Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 12</a>

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 10

Unknown — Sun, 27 Sep 2026 11:58:51 -0700

Chapter 10: You feel the need—the need to bleed</h3>
“I knew it! I knew you were taking my cookies!” Harry crowed.
“Look, I'm sorry. I've been on a diet, and it's making me a little crazy. Also, I didn't know that you were mad about the pranks. I thought this was our thing.”
“Our thing?” Harry said. “You did?”
“Yeah. You didn't react to them too much. The kids all said that you were cool about it the first time I did it. I thought you didn't care. I thought it was just our funny thing. They put photos of my prank in the yearbook every year, you know.”
“I’m aware of the photo,” Harry said. "But I didn't want to say anything because the kids love you. I don’t want to be the jerk teacher who nobody likes.”
David grimaced. “I didn't know that. And if it makes you feel better, I feel really bad about the jello melting all over your desk.”
“You mean inside my desk.”
“Yeah. I’m not trying to make you look or feel stupid in front of the students and teachers.”
“Oh really? What about Samantha Diaz's hot mom?”
David’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Huh?”
“In the museum earlier,” Harry said, “you were mocking me to impress her. I didn’t hear what you said, but I could tell that you were making fun of me.”
David’s eyebrows popped high on his head. “What? No, she's into you, man. That’s what we were talking about. I wouldn’t lie about that.”
“What?”
“Yeah, she's liked you for years, ever since her oldest son got into your advanced history class. She’s dropped a lot of hints, but you've never asked her out. Her youngest kid's about to graduate, and she won't have a reason to see you anymore. She was thinking about asking you out instead, but she felt kinda shy. I was encouraging her to do it.”
Harry was stunned. He heard himself say, “Oh, I would have said no.”
David looked at Harry as if he’d suffered a massive concussion. “Why?”
“I thought you liked her, and I didn't want to get in the way,” Harry said.
David actually laughed. “Oh, she's beautiful, but she’s not my type. You guys have a lot in common, though. Trivia nights and theater and fancy wine and whatever.”
“Wow. Thanks.”
“Look, I know we've had our differences,” David said, “and I know you’re probably onto something with our challenges being so different, and maybe we’re being lied to. Probably we are? I honestly don’t know anymore. But I can't just sit around waiting for someone to figure this out. I have to keep going, just in case this is the only way to save everyone.”
Nervous energy surged through Harry, but he wasn’t sure what to do with it. The air was suddenly rife with tension. David looked wary.
“But you can’t go,” Harry said, “not until we’ve figured this out. I can’t…” His pulse spiked, and he swallowed hard, trying to remove a huge lump in his throat. Before he realized what he was doing, he stepped in front of David, hands balled into fists, blocking the path. “I can’t let you leave and destroy more treasures.”
They stared at each other. For a half minute, the timer in the corner was the only thing that moved.
Harry’s mind raced. What was he doing? Was he actually challenging David? He couldn’t stand up against David! Had he hit his head too many times? Damn that idiotic Rabbit Jump!
Finally, David broke the stalemate. He slid his hands into his pockets. He looked and sounded far too calm for whatever stupid bravado had just spewed from Harry’s mouth.
“Harry, I don't want to fight you for those treasures, but I will if I have to.” He stepped around Harry and started walking into the deep shadow of the jungle. His figure started to blend with the darkness and the tiny flickering of light filtering through the leaves.
“You figure it all out,” he called back. “If you do, come find me. Until then…” His voice trailed off.
“Wait!” Harry shouted. He ran after David, but the man was already gone. He shouted into the dark forest, “David, please come back!”
Nobody answered, except for the mocking squawk of an exotic bird. Scowling, Harry turned away.
“Statue,” he hissed. “What’s going on? I already knew that we have conflicting challenges, but you told each of us that our challenge will be what saves everyone. That you'd let them all go—” He sucked in a lungful of air, then bellowed, “—but how can either of us save everyone if we have conflicting challenges?”
His voice echoed through the trees. Birds screamed and fled. Insects and animals fell silent, surrounding Harry with the futile, diminishing sound of his own anger.
“Who are you lying to?” he demanded.
“I am not lying to you, Harry. I have already told you, I cannot lie. When you return ten treasures, the sacred tokens, everyone in the museum will be set free.”
“Then why does David think the same thing about destroying twelve treasures? And actually, you told him they were cursed items.”
“I did no such thing.”
“He says you did,” Harry said. “David Ibis is a lot of things, but he’s not a liar. In fact, he’s usually pretty proud to own up to something. Are you playing some kind of sick game? Explain this discrepancy to me—”
Someone started playing a hand drum. Loudly. Its rhythm was somewhere between a dance and a declaration of war. Harry whirled toward the sound but couldn’t lock down where it was coming from. It seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere. After a few beats, a flute accompanied the drum. The flute’s melody was distinctly South American, but Harry didn’t know enough to say more about it. Somehow, the music’s abrupt entrance reminded Harry of a game show, when a contestant guesses something correctly or unlocks a puzzle.
The music ended just as abruptly. The statue’s voice was strong and unapologetic, and it once again had that weird echo he’d heard a couple of hours ago when it had announced that the timer was starting and his quest to find the treasures had begun.
“The discrepancy is part of the challenge. It is a puzzle you need to solve.”
“Oh, great! So, in addition to finding a bunch of weird magical items in an enormous and dangerous jungle that also has a bunch of unmapped underground passages, I have to figure out why my coworker and I have two conflicting challenges, preferably before he destroys too many treasures, otherwise everyone is going to die, and I only have two hours left to do it all.”
“That is correct.”
“Fantastic!” Harry sneered. “You know that four hours isn’t enough time. What I wouldn’t give for at least one more hour—”
The drumming war beat started again, followed by the jovial trill of the flute, then ended. The statue’s voice was suddenly formal, just like when it announces Harry’s skills activating… and when it mocks him in its ratings of his performance.
“Puzzle discovery: reward redeemed. Reward: one additional hour in the hunting grounds.”
The timer in the bottom corner of Harry’s vision blinked once, and the time changed. An hour was added. Harry stared. The statue’s words bounced around in his skull. He replayed the words over and over in his head. He’d yelled at the statue about a discrepancy. The statue said the word “discrepancy” back. He’d unlocked something important with that one word…
“Statue!” he yelled. “Don’t tell me that I could have requested anything as a reward…”
“There are limits, but the list of potential rewards is fairly comprehensive in order to adequately honor the challenger who uncovered the Discrepancy Puzzle.”
“Next you’re going to tell me that I could have asked for more than one hour.”
“Oh, yes. You could have asked for an additional sixteen hours.”
“Give me an additional sixteen hours, then.”
“I’m sorry, Harry. The reward for the Discrepancy Puzzle has already been redeemed. No exchanges or refunds allowed.”
“I hate you.”
Harry spent the next few minutes pacing back and forth while mumbling and muttering and occasionally cursing to himself. He tries not to swear so that he doesn’t accidentally do it in front of his students. Parents largely prefer to demonstrate the art of cursing to their children themselves.
“So far,” Harry said to himself, “I found the statue drawing and a treasure in the underground passage. Chances are high that I’ll find more down there.”
He stopped pacing.
“Statue, there are more underground passages, right?”
“Yes.”
“Is there a way to find them other than running around aimlessly, looking for ladders or pits to fall into?”
“No.”
Harry wondered whether that was on purpose, to make it harder for anyone to discover the reason for the challenge discrepancies. Or maybe it was another lie.
Maybe it was both.
Harry picked a new direction, one that went away from David.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry took off running.
“You feel the need—the need to bleed.”
“What? OOF!”
Harry collided face-first into the same enormous mahogany he’d hit the first time he’d used the running ability. How had he not seen this tree? It was enormous. Maybe he needed to slow down.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Reason: I tried to warn you.”
“Shut up,” Harry said.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 9

Unknown — Sun, 20 Sep 2026 11:48:26 -0700

Chapter 9: I’ve been stealing your cookies</h3>
Neither of them spoke for a long moment, giving Harry time to guess how well David was doing in the hunting grounds. He thought David looked pretty good for having been trapped inside this homicidal jungle for the past couple of hours. His hair still looked just as nice as it did when he arrived at the school this morning, and his clothes were only lightly soiled—probably from Harry tackling him. He’d even worn sneakers today. Harry silently cursed his foresight.
Harry, on the other hand, assumed that he himself looked like the aftermath of a mud-wrestling match in an inflatable kiddie pool after having been thoroughly trounced by a feral bikini model. His clothes were torn, and his entire body was covered in filth. He could feel grit in his scalp, between his toes, and in his butt crack.
David, of course, was the first to speak. Harry thought it was David’s mission in life to get the first and last word in.
“What the hell?” he sputtered. “Why are you trying to kill me?”
Harry reared back, his eyes wide and incredulous. “Are you kidding me? You're the one trying to kill me—twice! You threw massive tree trunks at me!”
“I didn't know that was you,” David said. “And I wasn’t trying to kill you, per se.”
“Per se?”
“I was trying to defend myself. Obviously. I didn’t know it was you.”
Harry folded his arms across his chest. “Well, I didn't know it was you, either. How did you get here?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” David said. He took a deep breath and ran a hand down his face. “Fine. Earlier, when we were arguing in the museum and we touched the statue—”
“You forced me to touch the statue,” Harry said.
“Whatever. After we touched it, two little golden ear cuffs dropped out of the statue and rolled away. You ran for one, and I ran for the other.”
Harry gasped. He’d only seen one golden ear cuff.
David continued, “As soon as I picked up the golden cuff, the statue started barking at me, saying that if I didn’t get into the hunting grounds and destroy twelve cursed items, then the kids and everyone were going to die. Some mystical doorway opened in front of me with a jungle on the other side. I was going to get help, but the statue said that if I told anyone what I was doing or what was happening, everyone would die. I didn’t really have a choice. The whole thing sounded insane, but I was scared for everyone, so I put on the ear cuff and ran through the portal. I’ve been trying to track down these cursed items ever since.”
Harry suddenly had the urge to call down a vine and hang David by his ankles. “You heard the statue wrong. First of all, they’re sacred tokens—”
“What?” David reared back, clearly alarmed. “They’re cursed. Obviously. Why else would they give you the ability to throw massive tree trunks at people?”
“The statue called them ‘sacred tokens’. That’s why they give you cool abilities that help you find the rest of them faster.”
David shook his head, now looking confused. “The statue said they were cursed and had to be destroyed.”
“Well, the statue told me they’re sacred tokens. If I bring ten of them to the statue, the kids and everyone will be released. But that’s impossible when you're doing the opposite of my quest. The treasures are limited. There won’t be enough if you keep destroying them.”
David’s eyebrows pinched together and his forehead wrinkled as if he were trying to stop his thoughts from escaping. “What? No, the statue specifically said I had to destroy them. Twelve cursed items. I asked repeatedly. You’re the one who’s wrong.”
They eyed each other distrustfully.
This was all starting to feel wrong to Harry. Why had the statue given them opposite challenges? Was the challenge a red herring, and it was actually trying to get them to duel to the death?
No, he decided. If that were the case, the treasures would grant better abilities than Vine Drop and Rabbit Jump. He would’ve been given something he could use to break David’s neck instead of his own.
Harry felt his upper lip curl. “The statue told me—repeatedly—that I have to rescue ‘ten treasures, the sacred tokens’ in order to save everyone, and that my opponent—that’s you—will be trying to destroy the treasures I need to save. You’re the bad guy in this scenario, because, according to the statue, there aren’t enough treasures for you to destroy twelve and for me to keep ten.”
“Why would it tell us two different things?” David demanded.
Suddenly, Harry’s chest felt tight, and he felt a little sick to his stomach. Was this some kind of sick game? Or a riddle? Was there no way to save everyone, and the statue was just playing with them? The statue said it couldn’t lie, but Harry couldn’t easily shake off the message he’d found written in blood. Someone had left the warning for a reason.
“Have you been into any of the underground passages?” Harry asked.
“I didn't know there were any. I thought the jungle was the only place to search.”
Harry shook his head. “This place has more traps than your ex-wife. Anyway, I was inside one that had a dead end, blocked by a brick wall. On the wall, someone had drawn the statue, and in blood, they’d written ‘the statue lies’.”
David’s eyes seemed to get as wide as hamster balls. Maybe he hadn’t stopped to consider that something fishy was going on here.
Harry continued, “The statue practically swore to me that it can’t lie. But it also won’t explain the drawing. It said that it wasn’t allowed to elaborate because it would interfere with the challenge.” He paused, letting David digest this news for a moment. Then, “Do you think maybe the statue lied to you?”
“Maybe,” David said. “How in the hell would I figure that out? I’m not a mind reader—and certainly not a mind reader of freaking possessed statues, or whatever that thing is. It told me to save the kids by destroying cursed items, and that’s what I’m doing.”
“Then ask it,” Harry said.
David frowned. “Statue, are you lying to me?”
Harry waited for a response. David’s head cocked to the side like a golden retriever waiting for someone to throw a stick. Harry heard nothing.
“It said no. Maybe it’s lying to you, then.”
“I already told you it said no, too!”
“Well, what do we do now?”
“There’s something really fishy going on here,” Harry said. “We’re essentially being set up to fail. We should stop looking for the treasures until we can figure this out.”
“I was told to destroy them,” he said. “If you’re wrong about this, and we stop, then I’ll lose by default. We’ll waste too much time looking for a solution. We’ve already used up almost half our time, and I’ve only found four items.”
“But something is off here,” Harry said. “If you destroy too many and we realize your challenge is wrong, we can’t take that back.”
“But you keeping the treasures might also be the wrong move.”
“That’s why I’m saying that we need to stop and figure this out first.”
David’s cheeks and neck flushed crimson. He wiped his hands on his pants a few times. He looked as if he might be on the verge of a breakdown. “Your theory isn’t enough, Harry. People’s lives are at stake.”
Harry threw up his hands in exasperation. “Well, that’s typical. It’s just like working with you at school. You like to plow ahead without information and feel it out as we go, and it’s always a disaster that ends with me having to fix everything at the last minute. Why don’t you ever respect my suggestions? You’re always adversarial, and you have to have the last word. Quite frankly, it makes me think you have a problem with me, and you don’t like a lot of hard work.”
David squared his shoulders. “You want the truth? Okay. You have great ideas, Harry. But they’re often a little too ambitious. That’s why I try to temper your expectations a bit. We’re working with high-school kids. Time for each subject is limited, and the kids have a lot of other things going on.”
“Yeah,” Harry said flatly, “sports.”
“No. They’re just kids, and your ideas can be a little too involved and take up too much classroom time. I’m not trying to squash your creativity or whatever.” He let out a huff of exasperation and looked away. “I think you’re a great teacher. In fact, I admire you a lot. You have all these amazing ideas that I wish I had. But just because I’m trying to make the ideas more practical doesn’t mean that I’m trying to undermine you. In fact, I really wish you’d respect my opinion at least once instead of getting all huffy every time I give input.”
He paused and turned back toward Harry. His chin lifted in defiance.
“And yes, I’ve been stealing cookies from your lunch bag.”

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 8

Unknown — Sun, 13 Sep 2026 11:54:26 -0700

Chapter 8: Underwhelming Force Meets Immovable Object</h3>
Harry screamed and flailed, accidentally kicking the crocodile hard on the snout. The croc hissed. Its massive jaw snapped shut, and the beast swung its monstrous head into Harry’s gut. Harry felt himself falling.
“Rabbit Jump canceled. Reason: underwhelming force meets immovable object. Also, weak ankles.”
Harry landed hard on the crocodile’s back. Dirty pond water rushed over him. He swallowed a mouthful of the foul stuff and accidentally snorted some up his nose. The crocodile thrashed wildly in the water, trying to buck him off. Coughing and gagging, Harry clung to the croc with all four limbs, like a koala clinging to its mother. The beast rolled once, twice, dunking Harry under the surface again and again. Then the spinning stopped. Harry gulped a mouthful of air and tried blinking the stinging water from his eyes. The croc beneath him seemed to settle somewhat, but its mouth still opened and closed as if it was imagining what Harry tasted like. The other crocodiles swam closer. Their dark eyes stared greedily.
Harry reached up and patted his own head. His fedora—with its Rabbit Jump ability—was still with him! He didn’t have time to give thanks. He got up on all fours on the croc’s back. In one movement, he let go with his arms and jumped.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry flung himself forward. All three crocodiles leapt for him and collided, and he smacked into one’s back. His arms wrapped around the enormous, muscular beast as it belly-flopped onto the surface. Harry gagged.
“Rating: pitiful. You have reached rock bottom and are showing signs of starting to dig. Tip: Envision the Rabbit Jump, Harry. Be the Rabbit Jump.”
Harry didn’t have any hands available to flip off the statue; he was too busy clinging on for dear life. The croc hissed and growled, doing three consecutive barrel rolls, presumably to drown him so it could eat him. But Harry’s will to survive, and the sheer terror surging through him, had never felt so strong. He clung on. Finally, the crocodile settled and just floated, its mouth opening and closing while hissing. Harry hugged the croc and panted… until the other two started closing in.
Harry got up on all fours. His legs wobbled beneath him.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry leapt into the air. His body becomes weightless. All three crocs sprang up again, with their jaws snapping. The one closest to Harry rose so high that all four of its legs left the water. Harry screamed as he sailed overhead with his arms and legs churning as if somehow the movement could make him go higher or farther.
Harry tumbled into the dirt and rolled, collecting a coating like cinnamon sugar on a ball of cookie dough. He pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, dripping water everywhere, watching to see if the crocodiles were going to charge out of the water and give chase.
“Rating: underwhelming. You jump sufficiently to keep yourself alive, but you land as if you’re trying to knock yourself unconscious. Tip: I’m starting to question your dedication to Rabbit Jump.”
The crocodiles remained in the water, but their eyes stayed glued to Harry. Occasionally, their mouths would open and close threateningly, but they stayed where they were, floating just beneath the surface so only their heads were visible.
Hacking and coughing, Harry crawled from the edge of the water into the grass, then collapsed onto the ground. When he could breathe clearly again, he rolled onto his back. His waterlogged clothes soaked the ground. He stared angrily up at the sky.
“Those were not helpful tips!” he shouted. “And my ankles are not weak. They are normal, thank you very much.”
The statue didn’t respond.
Harry wasn’t sure how much more of this place he could take. The timer in the bottom corner said that he had two hours and thirty minutes remaining, but he wasn’t sure he’d survive the next few minutes.
He staggered up onto his feet and doggedly made his way through the jungle, following the flashing yellow circle.
It led him to two large stones, one resting upon the other. The circle flashed over the small space between them. This time, Harry was too spent to worry about what might be waiting inside. Besides, the space was too small for anything too dangerous.
He reached inside and felt something hard and smooth and cool to the touch. He pulled it out. An enormous gold ring! Serpents were engraved along the outside of the band. Unidentifiable symbols were engraved inside.
He slid the ring onto his left index finger. It was still too loose and would likely fall off. Harry didn’t want to lose it, so he pulled it off.
But the ring wouldn’t come off. Something held it in place. As he yanked on the ring, he realized that it was starting to shrink. Harry started to panic.
“Statue! What’s going on with this ring?”
“What do you mean?”
The band continued to shrink. Harry could feel it getting snug.
“It’s getting smaller! Is it going to snap off my finger? I’m very attached to my index finger. I need my index finger! Make it stop!”
The statue didn’t respond. A few seconds later, the ring stopped shrinking. It now fit nicely on his finger. It even slid off when he pulled. He slid it back on, just to make sure that it still would. He pulled it off again, then slid it back on, just to make really sure.
More symbols sprinkled into his vision. Harry thought they looked similar to the ones engraved inside the ring. They were soon replaced with words that Harry understood: “Frisky Feet.”
Harry stared at the words. His eyes narrowed.
“Who’s choosing these stupid ability names?” he hissed. Then he sighed. “Fine. Frisky Feet.”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
Harry felt nothing until he took a step forward—
VROOM!
His legs worked on their own, in a swift jog, easily twice as fast as he normally went. The movement felt easy and refreshing, and he could already tell that he wasn’t tiring. He pushed himself into a run. He wasn’t even sweating.
“I am Usain Bolt—”
BLAMMO.
Harry cried out in pain. White stars danced before his eyes. He collapsed back onto the ground and stared up at a mahogany tree with a trunk as big around as a monster-truck tire.
“Frisky Feet canceled. Reason: You used your feet without using your eyeballs.”
He sat up. This time he gave the statue a one-fingered salute.
A branch snapped behind him, loud and sudden. Startled, Harry leapt to his feet.
About ten feet away, a dark figure stood in the shade of a nearby tree. His face was shadowed, but Harry would have recognized the guy anywhere.
It was his opponent. He must have followed the same treasure’s signal.
The man reached behind himself. An enormous tree trunk sailed over his shoulder, turned sideways in the air, hit the ground, and started rolling toward Harry. The log was so thick that Harry couldn’t even see his opponent over it. The ground rumbled and shook. Harry took a few steps back and turned to run.
Then he stopped. His hands balled into fists.
He was sick and tired of this horrible training ground. He’s been pummeled, smooshed, smacked, chased, nearly drowned, nearly eaten, and terrified the entire time. All he wanted to do was save a bunch of innocent people—mostly kids! What kind of sicko wanted to prevent that? Harry knew he should flee. His Rabbit Jump sucked, and he hadn’t practiced Frisky Feet. Right now, using them might get him killed.
But he was sick of giving up.
The rolling log was almost upon him. Harry sprinted toward it. “Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He jumped. His arms pumped in the air as he cleared the log. When he hit the ground, he rolled a couple of times, then pushed to his feet. A second log was coming toward him. Luckily, he was expecting it.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry leapt straight into the air, clearing the log. As he plummeted back toward the ground, he saw his opponent under the tree. Somehow, Harry thought the guy seemed startled—he had even taken a step backward. His arm drew back, as if to throw another log, but then he apparently changed his mind. As Harry spilled out on the ground, his opponent turned and ran away.
“Rating: barely satisfactory. You leapt into the air like a superhero. You fell back to earth like a potato. Tip: I may have been incorrect in my assessment. I believe a potato is more aerodynamic than you were.”
Harry was barely listening, and he didn’t have time to complain about another non-helpful non-tip.
“Frisky Feet!”
“You activate Frisky Feet.”
The scenery blurred past Harry in streaks of greens and browns. His opponent was the target at the center of his vision and he didn’t dare look away. He started gaining. Easily. His opponent reached into the air and tried throwing another log back at Harry, but his aim was off, and he threw it to the side. The log was going to take a long time to circle back around.
The guy made a critical error and dashed off into a thick cluster of trees. The branches were low, strong, and leafy. Driven by anger and adrenaline, Harry rushed after him. A few feet before he reached the trees, he held out his hands, palms up.
“Vine Drop!”
“Frisky Feet canceled. You activate Vine Drop.”
Harry grabbed the vine and swung, fast, eating up some of the distance between him and his opponent’s dark form. Another massive tree trunk came crashing toward him, ghosting through the standing trees and flattening the smaller bushes.
“Vine Drop!”
“You activate Vine Drop.”
Harry swung over the log, then dropped to the ground. He called up another Vine Drop. Then another. His opponent was so close that Harry could hear his heavy footfalls and hard, quick breaths. Harry kept calling up vines, swinging ever closer.
His opponent was just ahead. Harry released his last vine and soared through the air. His opponent was within reach. He thrust out his arms and tackled the man.
“Oof!”
They both let out startled cries—Harry’s was pained, and his opponent’s was shocked. Harry bear-hugged the guy, just as he’d done with the crocodiles. They rolled through the dirt and underbrush.
Harry heard a familiar voice.
“Hey, stop! What are you doing? Get off me!”
Harry let go of the man and rolled to his feet. The man jumped up and whirled on Harry. Then they both stared in total shock.
Holy crap. Harry’s opponent was his professional nemesis, the one responsible for this entire situation: David freaking Ibis.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 7

Unknown — Sun, 06 Sep 2026 13:29:27 -0700

Chapter 7: Hazards have a mind of their own</h3>
Harry’s brain said that he should be more wary than excited about a new treasure. Unfortunately, the twelve-year-old kid in him didn’t get the memo. Besides, whatever ability it would bestow had to be better than Rabbit Jump.
Anything would be better. He didn’t know how much more abuse his body could take.
He started jogging off in the direction of the new treasure, weaving between bushes and hopping over small tree roots that ran along the ground. A light breeze picked up. As long as he stayed under the canopy of trees, the temperature was almost tolerable.
As the signal grew larger and the flashing became more rapid, he found himself entering a creepy, darker part of the jungle. The trees were more dense, with branches that started so low that Harry could leap up and touch them without using Rabbit Jump. He passed balsas, strangler figs, and enormous, mushroom-shaped trees that he thought were called monkeypods. The deeper he went, the closer the tree trunks stood and the darker it became. Harry tripped over a couple of roots and decided to slow down and be more careful. If he broke a leg, he wouldn’t be able to save everyone. It was a slow and careful trek to the flashing yellow circle, which he found at a small, gray tree trunk with a dark hollow inside it.
Harry knelt down in front of the trunk and squinted into the hollow. He saw nothing but black.
He did not want to stick his hand inside. The yellow circle in his vision was the size of a coaster, blinking and annoying him, obnoxiously yelling at him to jam his precious digits into the unknown.
“Come on, Harry,” he whispered, “you can do this. It’s not a trap, it’s a treasure. Nothing’s going to eat your hand. Probably.”
His pep talk sucked. He figured he could reach inside real fast. And if he screamed like an idiot or a goat—thanks for the feedback on that, statue—no one would ever have to know.
He poised his hand in front of the dark hole. “Three… two… one!”
Harry thrust his hand into the trunk. His fingers brushed against wood and dirt and probably bugs and then something soft. Grateful, he grabbed the soft thing and yanked it out.
As soon as his hand was visible again, he stood and ran from the tree trunk, just in case something angry flew or crawled out and attacked. To Harry’s relief, nothing attacked. He opened his hand and found that he’d grabbed fingerless gloves made of an olive-green fabric. It was hard to see more with the yellow dot still blinking over the gloves, so he pulled them on. The flashing dot disappeared. The gloves felt soft and smooth, even cushiony, on his palms. In fact, the stinging discomfort of the splinters he’d gained from sliding down the ladder earlier suddenly didn’t bother him so much.
Just like when he first put on the fedora, a row of strange symbols appeared in the upper-left corner of his vision. They flashed once, then disappeared. Letters appeared in their place: “Vine Drop.”
Maybe he was meant to catch something? Without additional context, there was no way for Harry to know what it meant, so he held out his hands with his palms up.
“Vine Drop?”
He didn’t mean to say it like a question, but he didn’t know what he was asking for, and he felt a little nervous.
“You activate Vine Drop.”
Overhead, a cluster of leaves rustled, and then there was a soft pop. A thick, brown vine uncoiled from overhead, ending a dozen or so feet in front of him. The vine swung forward and back as if it were a pendulum. Harry watched it for a little while, waiting for it to stop swinging. But it never did. Maybe it was waiting for someone to grab on and go for a ride.
Harry wondered how long the vine would last. After about a minute, it fell from wherever it had been secured in the dark canopy above and plopped onto the ground in a big tangle.
“Vine Drop ends.”
“That’s so cool,” Harry whispered. He wanted to swing on it like Spider-Man.
He held up his hands again. “Vine Drop.”
“You activate Vine Drop.”
Another vine rustled and appeared a dozen feet away, swinging back and forth. Harry approached the edge of its swing. He moved with it, hands up and ready, rocking his body back and forth with the vine’s motion. He was getting the rhythm, like professional jump-ropers.
When the vine neared, he jumped up and grabbed it. His gloves went schwick, and his palms clung to the vine as if stuck with Velcro. He hiked up his knees and soared over the ground. When he reached the other end of its swing, he released the vine. The gloves followed the cue from his fingers and unstuck themselves. Harry flew through the air a few more feet and landed on solid ground. Alive. Breathing. Unharmed.
He pumped his fists in the air. “That. Was. Awesome!”
“Vine Drop ends.” The vine fell and landed in a tangled heap with a heavy shwump.
Harry turned to check how far he’d swung. Twenty-five feet, maybe more. It was definitely faster than running, but the best part was that he’d never have to use Rabbit Jump again!
Obviously, he’d need to practice this Vine Drop awesomeness a little more. Just to get the hang of it.
“Vine Drop!”
“You activate Vine Drop.”
Another vine unfurled and swung toward him. He waited for the right timing, ran at the vine, jumped, and grabbed on.
“Rating: adequate. You clung to a vine while bicycling your legs and yodeling like Tarzan, and you managed to not fall off.”
A renewed sense of excitement surged through Harry. For the first time since he’d entered the hunting grounds, he believed that he could actually complete the challenge. Everyone would be saved! He continued running through the forest while activating Vine Drop. Jumping. Grabbing. Swinging. Running aimlessly, not paying attention to where he was going. He was even starting to have fun—
Another yellow flashing dot brought him back to the present moment.
He swung off his vine.
“Vine Drop ends.”
Harry turned, orienting himself to the direction of the new treasure. He realized that he wasn’t quite sure where he was or what path he’d taken to get there. Even worse, he wasn’t sure how to get back to where he’d come from. Could he find the doorway that led back to the museum?
If he couldn’t figure it out, he’d have to argue it out of the statue later.
He started swinging through the trees toward the signal, watching the dot get slowly larger. Up ahead, he saw that the trees and bushes were different and much more sparse. The sun was still high in the sky, and its heat was oppressive. He aimed for the tree trunks and the little shade they could provide. But the trees were taller, with fewer branches and leaves.
“Vine Drop,” Harry said.
“Vine Drop activated.”
Nothing happened.
“Vine Drop canceled. No suitable branches available for this activity.”
Harry licked his lips. He didn’t like that the ability wasn’t applicable everywhere, as he’d wanted. After he retrieved this treasure, he’d resume his search where the trees were plentiful and the branches were low enough for vines.
He started jogging. The yellow flashing light grew bigger. After a couple of minutes, he found another pond in his path. It was a rather large pond, again with suspiciously dark water. At least this one wasn’t disappearing and reappearing on him. Sadly, there weren’t any branches hanging low enough to let him use his preferred Vine Drop. Harry hated Rabbit Jump and had vowed not to use it again, so he started to run around the pond’s edge.
After a minute, he couldn’t help noticing that he was still trying to circle around the pond. At this point, he should have at least been halfway around the water, but it seemed he’d hardly moved. He stopped. Squinted at the pond. The scenery around him had shifted somewhat, but the pond had… followed?
His eyes narrowed.
“Statue,” he ground out. He really didn’t want to talk to the statue. Despite their discussion, he didn’t trust it at all. “Is it just me, or is this pond moving?”
“Sometimes, hazards in the hunting grounds have a mind and will of their own.”
A classic answer from the statue. There were a lot of words that said very little.
Harry turned around and started jogging back the other way around the pond. But after another minute, he hadn’t made it very far around the water.
The pond was definitely moving. And it definitely wanted him to use Rabbit Jump.
“Statue, are you moving this pond? I know you can do crap like this—like dropping me down a deep pit. And don’t think I don’t suspect that you threw that stupid scorpion at me. Are you doing this on purpose?”
“No.”
“Why do I think you’re lying? Why do I think you’re doing this to make me use that awful Rabbit Jump?”
The statue didn’t respond.
“Okay, fine. Whatever. I can use Rabbit Jump once for a simple pond.”
Harry backed up, judged the distance, and then started running. As soon as he reached the edge—
“Rabbit Jump!”
He pushed off with both feet and sprang lightly into the air. He’d hardly left the ground when the water churned with bubbles and froth. Three enormous crocodiles shot up from beneath the surface and leapt higher than Harry thought possible. The one closest to him opened its mouth. Harry saw a pink tongue and enormous, sharp teeth reaching for him.

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 6

Unknown — Sun, 30 Aug 2026 13:29:14 -0700

Chapter 6: You should put that on the brochure</h3>
Harry stared at the drawing of the statue. His thoughts whirled. If he’d found this and its enlightening slogan twenty minutes ago, he would have been terrified and confused. Now that he’d been manipulated into becoming a challenger, dropped through a pit, knocked around, mocked, and nearly flattened to death—and those last two had happened more than once—he was annoyed and angry.
“Statue, what am I looking at?” he demanded. “Do you lie?”
“I cannot lie.”
He gestured at the image flippantly with one hand. “Well, this drawing says otherwise. That’s you in the drawing, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“Why does it say that you lie?”
“I have never lied to you, Harry, and I never will. Because I cannot lie, not to anyone.”
The statue sounded very forceful. Believable, almost.
Harry squinted at the image. “You’re not telling me everything. I can feel it.”
“True. But I am not lying.”
“You’re not going to explain, either, are you?”
“I have answered the complaint truthfully. Due to the rules of the challenge, I am unable to elaborate.”
Harry squinted at the drawing and the bloody words as if he were willing them to speak or explain themselves. But they didn’t. The answers would reveal themselves in time, Harry figured. He just hoped that, by then, it wouldn’t be too late. From now on, he’d be very careful about anything the statue said. As for trust? He had none to give.
He stepped a little closer, examining the brick. Was there really no way through it? He didn’t want to have to backtrack and return to the surface. Was it a trick? He pushed on some of the bricks, searching for a secret button that would turn the wall into a door, but he didn’t find one. Then he pushed the wall with both hands, but it didn’t budge.
“What’s the deal with this wall? I have to go back to the surface and face my opponent again? I like the underground.”
“There are other underground passages. You just have to find the ladders into them.”
“Right. Or fall straight down one of those stupid pits.”
“Among other hazards, yes.”
Harry blinked. “You mean there are even more unique ways to get myself killed? You should put that on the brochure for this place. People will be lining up around the block to get in.”
Harry turned around and started walking to the last ladder he’d passed—trudging toward his inevitable doom, he thought. He didn’t like the idea of being above ground, where he could run into his opponent again. He’d have to find another entrance into a different underground passage, and fast. Then he could simply take all of its hidden treasures, just as he’d done with the current passage.
But what if there weren’t any more treasures or he couldn’t find them? So far, he only had one. According to the timer, he had barely three hours to find nine more…
His thoughts kept him occupied on the walk back to the nearest ladder. He came around the bend and spotted the ladder just ahead. As he neared, the dirt floor in front of the ladder started to shake and loosen. A small hill started to form. A ghastly white scorpion crawled up out of the dirt. The creature was twice the size of any scorpion he’d heard of. Its pincers were the size of boxing gloves, and its tail curved up and over, reaching Harry mid-thigh. Its exoskeleton gleamed dully in the torchlight.
Harry froze, just in case scorpions were like bears and velociraptors and would chase a retreating history teacher in case he was a delicious meal. The scorpion didn’t move toward Harry, but it did pace back and forth across the width of the tunnel, preventing Harry from even considering sprinting past it.
“Arbiter,” he hissed. “Did you do this?”
“I did not. The underground passage contains unique hazards.”
It sounded sincere, but Harry no longer believed anything it whispered confidently in his ear.
“Then why didn’t I see this until now?”
“Perhaps it was sleeping when you first walked over it, and it just now woke up?”
Harry stared incredulously at the monstrous arachnid. It snapped its pincers together, the sound almost a deafening explosion in the silent tunnel.
“Sleeping, my ass,” he muttered.
Harry couldn’t stay in this passage forever with no way out. He had to save the kids, Samantha Diaz’s hot mom, and all the others—including, he supposed, David Ibis, who was responsible for this mess. Harry had no choice but to use the dreaded Rabbit Jump ability. The scorpion was a few feet away from the ladder. If he could clear the scorpion, avoid bouncing his head off the ceiling, and land next to the ladder, he could climb up before the scorpion could reach him. He didn’t care how stupid he’d look. He just cared that it would work.
And if he failed, hopefully his death would be quick and painless.
Harry took a few measured breaths, then backed up a couple of steps. The scorpion whipped in his direction and paused, pincers up and ready to snap his leg off, tail poised to sting. Harry took two running steps forward.
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry’s feet left the ground. He felt lighter, and he ducked his head in the hope that he wouldn’t slam it on the ceiling. As he sailed over the scorpion, he lifted his knees and spread his legs wider, almost as if he were a track runner leaping over hurdles. He felt the crotch of his pants rip open. His forehead scraped the ceiling. Dirt pelted his face. The scorpion snapped its pincers loudly. Harry reached down and cupped his crotch, just in case…
He landed awkwardly on one foot and rolled his ankle. Pain coursed through his leg.
“Rating: underwhelming. I know, you were hoping for better, but you have delusions of adequacy. Tip: Try ankle-strengthening exercises. And stop screaming like an angry goat every time your feet leave the ground.”
His body fell forward. He slammed down on his hands, but as quick as he could, he pushed up and scrambled to the ladder. The snap-snap-snap of the scorpion’s pinchers sounded dangerously close. Harry leapt onto the ladder and climbed as fast as he could. Before he poked his head out into the jungle, he stopped and listened. Aside from his pounding heart and labored breaths, he heard birds chirping and a breeze rustling the leaves. The air was hot and humid and smelled like a barn filled with musty animals.
Harry peeked his head up just enough to see. There was no movement. No crazy logs barreling toward him.
He climbed out of the hole. Three birds burst out of a nearby bush, flying straight up and away. Harry jerked and nearly fell back down the hole. He picked a direction that was hopefully the opposite of his opponent and started walking. He’d gotten a little turned around while underground. He wasn’t even sure where he was at the moment. If the Arbiter had been telling the truth, and he could travel farther underground than he could above, then perhaps his opponent was nowhere near.
The timer dipped below the three-hour mark. Harry fidgeted nervously with his fedora. He’d wasted an hour and had very little to show for it.
He started running. He wasn’t even sure where he was going or what he was doing. He was barely paying attention, except that he was looking for a ladder or a yellow dot to start flashing in his vision, and he didn’t want to fall through another pit. Soon, he spotted a wide patch of damp earth. It looked like a deep pond that had recently dried out. As soon as he stepped on its edge, dark water flooded up from the center of the pond and rushed toward him, as if eager to pull him under its surface.
“Rabbit Jump!”
He sprang—at least, he tried. The mud sucked on his shoes.
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Just before the water reached him, he rocketed into the air with a wet slurp. In the air, he spun, and his arms flailed and legs kicked, as if that would help him clear the pond. Somehow, he thought the water suddenly looked as deep as an ocean. Knowing this cursed jungle, it probably was.
As he started to arc back down toward the ground, Harry realized that he wasn’t going to make it safely to the edge. He was going to plummet into that deep, dark water and never find his way out. He sucked in a deep breath and curled tight into a ball, bracing for impact—
The water retracted. Harry crashed into the mud like a meteor, splashing it everywhere. More birds screamed and fled the scene.
“Rating: Do I even need to tell you? I didn’t think so. But I should warn you, while you’re rolling around like happy swine, that the water’s going to come back at any moment. Tip: You should move. Fast.”
In a flash, Harry was up on all fours, scurrying out of the mud and into the dirt. As soon as he hit dry ground, the murky water rushed back out, lapped at the dry ground for a moment, and then was sucked back down again.
“I hate this place,” Harry muttered.
He climbed to his feet and turned around. A small yellow circle started flashing in his vision. A new treasure!

Harry Hollowdrop's Unwanted Adventure: Chapter 5

Unknown — Sun, 23 Aug 2026 13:29:56 -0700

Chapter 5: Flattened and killed? Or killed and flattened?</h3>
Harry’s heart thundered in his chest. The tree trunks rolling after him thundered everything else. Birds screeched and flew from the trees in dark clusters.
Harry veered out of the trunks’ path, scrabbling up a small hill through a patch of thicker brush. Branches and leaves slapped his face and shins. Thorns grabbed at his clothes and skin, scratching and tearing. It’d hurt later, he knew, but at least he’d be alive. At the top of the hill, he paused and waited for the logs to roll past him…
As they neared, they changed course and followed Harry up the hill as if they were on a guidance system. His brain couldn’t wrap itself around their devious, nimble movement. They were bouncing along the ground and picking up speed. He couldn’t outrun them. Unless he could find somewhere to take cover, he was going to get flattened and killed! Or killed and flattened!
Harry spotted a cluster of old mahogany trees, rosewoods, and balsas with massive trunks. They stood close enough together that the logs chasing him couldn’t fit through the gaps. He made a beeline for them, running between the thickest and hopefully sturdiest of the trunks, then kept on running until the trees started to thin out, about another fifteen feet. He skidded to a stop.
Panting, he hunched over, hands braced on his knees, and watched as the logs streaked through the jungle in pursuit of him, toward his protective barrier of trees…
The logs passed right through the thick trunks as if they were ghosts but mowed down bushes and small cecropias without pause. They continued barreling straight toward him. Harry made a squawk of equal parts fright and outrage. A renewed surge of adrenaline and panic coursed through him, and he sprinted away.
He’d paused too long, and the rolling logs were practically on top of him now. The ground was shaking so violently that Harry was stumbling and struggling to stay on his feet. The sound was deafening. He could barely hear his own screaming, which was probably for the best. He knew he was about to be crushed. A dark shadow fell over him…
“Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He pushed off the ground hard. Too hard. His entire body rocketed high into the air at a sharp angle, allowing one of the logs to roll directly under him. They were even more massive than Harry had initially thought.
“Rating: pitiful. It’s as if you’re trying to kill yourself. Tip: Don’t kill yourself.”
Kill himself? What?
Suddenly, his body felt heavy again. The skill had run out! Already! Harry slammed down onto the log, bounced once, then landed face-down, sprawled out on the log like a cartoon character. He was facing the wrong direction, or so he thought, watching the second tree trunk rolling toward him, not too far away. The log he was lying on continued rolling, carried him over and down toward the ground…
Harry dug his fingers and toes into the deep bark and scrambled up. His voice was hoarse and cracked twice as he shouted. “Rabbit Jump!”
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
He was flung off the trunk and did an accidental cartwheel in the air. In the back of his mind, he wondered how in the heck his fedora was staying on his head.
“Rating: wholly unsatisfactory. Are you doing this with your eyes closed? Did you intend to jump into the second log? Tip: Try aiming, dummy.”
Harry opened his eyes. The second log loomed closer as he fell toward it. “Rabbit Jump!”
“You fail to activate Rabbit Jump.”
He jerked his legs, but he was still in the air. He had nothing to push off from and continued to fall. Fast.
“Rating: I don’t know; there isn’t a worse rating than wholly unsatisfactory. If there were one, I’d gladly give it to you right now. Tip: Have something under your feet when you try to jump.”
Harry banged down onto the second trunk. He wasted no time scrambling up and vaulting off—to the side this time, out of the logs’ path. “Rabbit Jump!”
His throat burned from all the shouting, and his voice was struggling.
“You activate Rabbit Jump.”
Harry arced through the air, arms pinwheeling and legs bicycling.
“Rating: underwhelming. But hey, you’re improving! Tip: Maybe you can only improve under threat of death. I’ll remember that… because I’m only here to help you.”
The ground rushed up to meet him. The impact rattled his teeth, and he tumbled head-over-heels into a thick bush. Freeing himself from the stiff branches was a struggle. The logs were rolling away, but they were already beginning to curve back around toward him.
Harry broke out of the bushes and looked around wildly. A flash of yellow peeked out from the trees.
His tie! The ladder!
Harry bolted through the jungle. The ladder looked exactly as he’d left it. He snatched his tie from the rung and mounted the ladder. He slid down, tearing the skin of his hands and earning himself a dozen splinters. At the bottom, he turned and ran, deeper into the passage. He passed a torch. Then another. And another. Nearing the fourth torch, he could run no further. In the darkness, between two circles of firelight, he collapsed against the wall, just listening. But other than the pounding of his heart and his blood rushing in his ears, he heard nothing. No sounds of murderous homing-signal tree trunks or of his giant opponent in pursuit.
Harry slid to the floor, hugged his knees to his chest, and prayed.
“I didn’t know that you were religious, Harry.”
“I am today,” he whispered.
*****
It was silent. Nothing moved in the underground passage, save for Harry breathing quietly. In the corner of his vision, the timer continued counting down in a happy yellow color.
3:18:42… 41… 40…
Slowly, Harry stood. The cuts and bruises across his body screamed at him. He leaned against the wall.
“Statue,” he started, but his voice cracked and his throat ached. He cleared his throat, swallowed, and tried again. “Statue, who was that?”
“That was your opponent, the other challenger.”
The statue spoke inside his head slowly. Patiently. As if it thought that Harry had added a concussion to his list of injuries. His head hurt pretty bad, so he couldn’t rule it out.
“I know that. I meant, I thought we’re supposed to be focused on finding the treasures.”
“You want opposing things, Harry. It’s natural for your opponent to want to stop you to make their challenge easier. Additionally, if you’re incapacitated, your opponent can take advantage and steal any treasures you’ve accumulated.”
“Incapacitated!?” Harry struggled to keep his voice down. He didn’t want to yell, but it was hard to keep all his fear and rage inside. It swirled together in his chest and stomach, hot and sour, fire and poison. “Really? I’m pretty sure they were trying to kill me.”
“You are not without defense. You have a valuable treasure with a useful ability. If you find more treasures that grant abilities, your opponent will have a difficult time incapacitating you. Remember, you are to bring me ten treasures, the sacred tokens. Your opponent is supposed to destroy treasures.”
Harry was silent for a moment, thinking.
“Theoretically, I should have an advantage, because I gain abilities by fulfilling my goal. My opponent is supposed to destroy the items that give abilities. Obviously, they decided not to do that, because they can hurl entire tree trunks at me. I guess they decided to save at least one treasure to use for fighting me.”
Harry scrubbed his face with his hands. The timer in the corner continued ticking down, uncaring of Harry’s little crisis.
3:12:31… 30… 29…
“I’m terrible with this ability. Maybe I could have jumped clear of those rolling logs, but then what? My opponent looked enormous. Seriously, who is that guy? Where did you find him?”
“He is your opponent.”
A totally unhelpful answer, but Harry knew the statue wouldn’t say more. His opponent was some kind of jacked giant who didn’t skip leg day, arm day, core day, or psycho day. Harry couldn’t fight them. It would be suicide.
He pushed off from the wall. “If there are other treasures down here, then I’ll just stay down here and find those.”
The statue said nothing. Harry thought that was suspicious, but he didn’t push for more. He brushed the dirt off his body, wincing when he hit one of his splinters. Then he started walking.
The passage twisted and curved, and he started to lose his sense of direction. He passed two more ladders and more holes in the dirt ceiling, similar to the one he’d originally fallen through. The tunnel then made a sharp turn left and ended abruptly at another brick wall. Harry stopped in his tracks.
On the wall was a simplistic drawing of the statue in black. It reminded Harry of ancient cave art drawn in charcoal. The statue was missing its wedding cake–like base, but the rest was familiar: the statue’s serene expression. Lips in a straight line. Eyes half closed. The elaborate hat. It was fairly well done. But someone had scrawled a message across the statue’s image in what looked suspiciously like dried blood.
The message read: “THE STATUE LIES.”