Whether we’re improving these stories or not is anyone’s guess, but it’s at least a hell of a good time.

However, since we’re still rocking and rolling along with Snake Plissken Month, I’ve done a little switch on my end. Instead of Predator, we’re dropping Snake Plissken in.

Or hang-gliding him in. Or one-man submersible-ing him in.

You get the picture.

Angela chose the movie this time around, delighting me with the idea of Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl. As soon as she mentioned it, I knew I had to do it for Snake Plissken Month. I mean, he’s got an eye patch—we’d better make use of it. When you’re finished up here, you can head on over to Angela’s blog and take a peek at her Pony-fied version, Friendship is Magic: Pirates of the Caribbean. I’ll link it again at the bottom so you don’t have to go fishing around for the link.

As Governor Weatherby Swann and his young daughter Elizabeth sail to the new prison in Port Royal, Jamiaca, they encounter a burning shipwreck with an unconscious survivor, the young Will Turner. Elizabeth steals the gold medallion the boy is wearing, in order to keep him from being arrested as a pirate. The crew glimpses a ghost ship, the Black Pearl, sailing away from the wreckage.

Eight years later, Commodore Norrington proposes to Elizabeth but before she can respond, her over-tightened flak jacket causes her to faint. She topples into the bay where the medallion, which she wears as a necklace, sends out a signal to the Black Pearl.

Simultaneously, Snake Plissken and Captain Jack Sparrow have just arrived in Port Royal to serve life sentences at the town-turned-maximum-prison—Jack Sparrow for being a pirate and Snake Plissken for looking like one. As they are standing on the dock waiting to be processed, they both see Elizabeth fall into the water. Snake grunts and shrugs, but Sparrow jumps into the water and rescues her, then uses her to negotiate, hoping to be released from the prison. Commodore Norrington agrees to reverse all charges against Sparrow and let him go free. Though Snake tells Sparrow it’s a lie, Sparrow releases Elizabeth and, as Snake predicted, Sparrow is taken into the police base for processing before being released into Port Royal prison.

That night, the Port Royal base is attacked by undead skeleton zombie pirates of the Black Pearl. Elizabeth is kidnapped by the pirates, who sail away.

Will Turner, who loves Elizabeth, strikes a bargain with Jack Sparrow to help him find the Black Pearl and Elizabeth in exchange for freedom. Jack agrees, thinking he can use this opportunity to reclaim the Black Pearl—though he knows he can’t do it alone. As soon as Will unlocks the jail cell, Sparrow explains that he can’t retake the Black Pearl alone. He needs Snake Plissken’s help. The next hour is spent trying to convince Snake Plissken, who doesn’t give a crap about your skinny damsel or your ship, to help.

Sparrow realizes they’re getting nowhere with Snake so they give up on the negotiation. He and Turner break into the prison kitchen, where they poison Snake’s bread and water. They return after dinnertime to inform Snake that they’ve poisoned him, and he’ll receive the antidote once he’s rescued Elizabeth and helped Sparrow retake the Black Pearl as his own. Snake agrees to help, though he’s addressing Will Turner, and it’s unclear if he means to help Sparrow. Will Turner opens the door and Snake steps outside. He immediately punches Jack Sparrow in the face. Sparrow crumples to the floor. As Snake steps over him, toward the exit, he growls, “Now I’ll help you.” They steal a ship and set sail for an island where Sparrow knows the Black Pearl will make port.

Upon finding the Black Pearl, Snake leads an underwater assault in one-man submersibles. After climbing up onto the Pearl’s deck, they find that the crew has gone into the nearby cave. They rescue Elizabeth and plan to sail away in the Black Pearl, but Elizabeth exposes the zombie pirates’ plans: the medallion she wore was part of a cursed treasure, and whoever steals from it becomes an ugly zombie skeleton. The only way to turn back the curse is to return every coin as well as the blood of everyone who stole the treasure. The pirates of the Black Pearl are working with her would-be fiance Commodore Norrington, who plans to use Elizabeth’s blood to shift the curse from the pirates to everyone inside the Port Royal prison, including Snake and Sparrow, and turn them into the ultimate, unkillable zombie army. Though Elizabeth’s is the last missing coin, her blood did not break the curse. She confesses that she stole the coin from Will Turner years ago, which has turned her into an undead skeleton zombie. Sparrow confirms that Will’s father was a pirate of the Black Pearl who stole the coin and sent it to Will, and even though Will didn’t exactly steal anything and isn’t an undead skeleton zombie, only his blood will stop the curse. While the group debates who did what and whether it will make someone a zombie skeleton by proxy, Snake seethes with fury because he’s seen what being a skeleton zombie will do to his hair, and he will not allow his luscious feathered locks to become so bedraggled. He vows to stop Norrington and the pirates and enact his own justice.

Snake leads his ragtag crew to the crow’s nest, where they take off in hang gliders and fly into the cave, to a big cavern where the cursed treasure was originally found. A futile gunfight ensues until Will Turner is shot, his blood sprays everywhere and lands inside of the treasure chest. Everyone who was an undead skeleton zombie is now turned back into human form, and it becomes an ugly bloodbath. During the fracas, Commodore Norrington steals a coin from the treasure chest and escapes to his ship. Snake pursues him and catches up as Norrington is climbing into an escape pod that will launch him into space and then redirect him to anywhere on earth that he wants to go. Norrington plans on escaping the fight only to come back later and switch the curse to the inmates of Port Royal. Snake shoots him in the leg, preventing him from getting inside the capsule.

Commodore Norrington pleads with Snake, begging him not to throw the coin into the capsule and blow it up, as doing so would prevent the curse from ever being reversed, and because the capsule is the property of the Free World, and worth millions of dollars. Instead, Snake tosses the coin into the capsule and sets it off into space with no return, thus turning everyone on earth into undead skeleton zombies except for those not part of the Free World—including Snake and inmates of New York, Los Angeles, and Port Royal maximum-security prisons.

Snake grunts and welcomes Norrington to the new world. He lights a cigarette and saunters off into the night.

THE END!

Hope you enjoyed Better with Predator Snake Plissken! Don’t forget to hop over to Angela’s blog for some hilarious My Little Pony pirate action.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Last week we started a Mad Mashup, which is our version of “Mad Libs.” But in honor of Snake Plissken Month, we Snake-d it.

Snake-ified?

Anyway, all word submissions needed to be descriptive or honorific of Snake Plissken. If you’re unfamiliar with our gentleman of the month, we just wanted a word you’d identify a badass with.

We got enough words to do something special… something for our kick-ass moms:

A Snake Plissken Mother’s Day Card!

Just print out the little card at the top. On the back, hand-write this thoughtful, loving poem that we mashed up and… snakeified. Snaked? Snake-a-roonied?

Whatever. It’s totally touching and stuff.

Our submitted words are:

You may have noticed that I removed a couple of the submissions. I wasn’t sure how they fit in with the Snake Plissken/badass theme. I did, on the other hand, accept “cheeseburger” because I think Snake would have appreciated a cheeseburger during both of his missions.

And here’s how our Mother’s Day poem/Snake Plissken Mad Mashup came out:

Great job everyone! I’m feeling the love and I hope you are too. Happy Mother’s Day to all our moms out there!

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

I’m so subtle.

Anyway, this week we’re going to continue Snake Plissken Month with a little group participation in our very own Plissken-themed Mad Mashup!

If you’re unfamiliar with the Mad Mashup series, it’s our very own “Mad Libs” style game, but named differently so that I don’t get sued. To play, I choose a book to ‘mash up’ and remove a few words. Without having any insight into the text, you provide a random set of words in the comments below. I insert the words into the text and we all have a good laugh.

This month’s Mad Mashup will be just a tad different, because all your words must be Snake Plissken-inspired words of bad-assery. If you aren’t familiar with Snake Plissken, consider it your homework for later. For now, just come up with a word that’s synonymous with badasses.

The rules: Your submission cannot be more than a single word. And for you wise-acres out there, you can use a hyphenated word, but there can only be one hyphen. Also, the word submissions are first-come, first-served. So, if your requested category is full, you’ll have to submit a word for a different category.

I’m also not going to tell you what story we’ll be mashing up. Consider it a little surprise.

For the Snake Plissken Month Mad Mashup word game, we need the following:

• 8 nouns
• 8 verbs
• 8 adjectives
• 3 human sounds (PG-rated, please)

I know, not a big selection going on there, but they should be fun since they all need to be Snake-themed. Good luck! The finished product will be up on Monday, May 13.

Wait—call him Snake.

Are you calling him Snake? Good. Now call him Plissken.

He’s fickle like that.

In case you’re wondering what this is all about, last year I was doing a little research for the Sci-Fi Pinups and I got a computer virus from a Snake Plissken fansite. That was when I decided to create a safe haven for all Snake Plissken fans, so Snake Plissken Month was born.

2012 Snake Plissken celebratory offerings:

Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 1
Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 2
Ridiculous Fanfic: Escape from Seattle Part 3

And a bonus from the amazingly talented and hilarious Alan Edwards, author of the zombie fantasy novel, The Curse of Troius:

The Tactical Guide to Snake Plissken’s Hair

This month we will revel again in the glory that is Snake Plissken. We shall wear feathered hair, hiss at people, sneer a lot, wear gigantic digital watches, and cruise to work in hang gliders.

Okay, maybe not. But we’re still going to have a lot of fun. So rejoice! Snake Plissken Month is here! Let’s get this party started with a little Bangkok Rules:

And a bonus clip, because this makes me laugh every time:

If you’re here because you read my novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, sorry for the interruption to the regular blog schedule. In June, I’ll be back with some news and fun extras about the world of Kari Hunter as well as updates on the next book in the series.

Stick around for more SNAKE! Subscribe to the site for more Snake Plissken. You can also follow me on Twitter and Facebook, where I might tweet about Snake.

Seriously. This series is your geek-crack and I am proud to be your geek-crack dealer.

If you’re unfamiliar with this series, it’s the monthly segment where we pull out the heroes and hotties who exhibit the qualities we love in science fiction—like someone with three mutant breasts or a guy who drives a talking car while wearing a speedo or a superhero with a super suit that no one knows how to use. To catch up on previous pinups, check out the link in the sidebar.

Miss April’s a stunner, and I’m not just talking about her right hook. She has long dark hair, dark eyes, and an amazing body that she keeps in shape through rigorous exercises that mainly consist of beating the crap out of people. Though she looks human on the outside, she’s one hundred percent hot alien babe on the inside. When Miss April isn’t roaming around the galaxy with her motley band of escaped convicts, she can be found planetside, beating the crap out of people or torturing them with her biting sarcasm.

She is…

…Aeryn Sun of Farscape!

Miss April enjoys hand-to-hand combat, large weapons, small weapons, medium-sized weapons, leading the charge, and saving the day. If you want to take Miss April out on the town, bring your flak jacket and a few grenades. She loves grenades.

I had a hard time finding good video clips of Miss April; most of what’s available shows goofy lovey-dovey moments and, since we aren’t interested in those, how about a neat fan tribute video?

I had actually never watched Farscape until it was suggested to me in the comments of a previous pinup. Great show. Super fun. Thanks for the suggestion, Candice Bundy!

Mr. April roams around the medieval countryside as a gigantic, lovable mercenary for hire. He’s big. He’s bold. He could crush you with one hand—and he doesn’t even exercise. He’s the friend who will always stand by your side, ready to dunk you in a water barrel to sober you up. When he isn’t working for evil geniuses or carrying around people who are mostly dead, he’s hard at work on his mad rhymes. He is…

…Fezzik from The Princess Bride!

Mr. April enjoys jogging your mind, sportsmanlike conduct, and storming the castle. If you take him out on the town for a hot date, uh… I don’t know. This guy’s just totally lovable. Seriously. Be happy he’s one of the good guys.

And now for some of his lyrical stylings:

Thanks to Angie Wilt for suggesting this month’s Mr. April!

If you have ideas for more pinups, leave a comment below.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney.

“Real talk, guys,” Cobra Commander said in the midst of his thirty-one slide PowerPoint presentation that detailed their failures. “Winning against the Joes is getting tougher and tougher. They’ve got ‘knowing’ so they’ve already won half the battle. The most we could ever hope to win is the other half.”

But the evil association’s message wasn’t one devoid of hope. Following the dismal financial forecast, Emperor Serpentor took the stage and reiterated the group’s commitment to world domination and defeating “those damned Joes.” He detailed a plan that would put the company back in the black.

“We’re prepared to make sacrifices,” Serpentor told the group, “starting with Bob. You’re toast, pal. We’re also going to cut back on the amount of laser fire during our conflicts. Sure, heavy weapons fire that doesn’t actually hit anything is one of our most effective tactics, but it’s expensive. We’re going to cut back on the laser fire and supplement with laser pointers. I know a guy at a cat toy company who will sell us a bunch for cheap. Third, we’re thinking about moving our headquarters. Destro keeps a close eye on the Internet, and thinks that in Soviet Russia we may defeat the Joes.”

After the formal discussion ended, the Q&A session dissolved into needless finger pointing. “As the leader of this organization, I’m fully aware that the blame for our shortcomings falls solely on the shoulders of one person,” said Cobra Commander, “and that person is Baroness. Wait, did you think I was going to say it’s my fault? Don’t be ridiculous.” The meeting then broke out into a laser gun fight where no one was actually shot.

A high-ranking member of the G.I. Joes who spoke on condition of anonymity said, “We knew Cobra was holding a big meeting, so we sent our best spy to find their secret base and listen in on their plans. Unfortunately our best guy is Snake Eyes and he doesn’t talk, so he couldn’t tell us what was said. I’m sure it was the usual talk about how we suck and they’re going to take over the world. We’re not worried. They don’t even have the biological weapons Doctor Mindbender keeps bragging about. They’re just shell casings loaded with Pop Rocks and Canada Dry.”

A spokesperson for Cobra Command declined to comment.

The number one question I’ve been getting these days is if there will be a sequel to THE FOURTH CHANNEL. The answer is yes—very much yes. I’m working on it right now and I’m excited about where the story is going. It starts nearly three months after THE FOURTH CHANNEL ends. It’s a little darker than the first book. Sure, it still contains a lot of the humor of the last book and you’re going to get more of the knives (rejoice!), but it’s feeling just a tad darker than TFC did. Maybe it’s just me?

As we get closer, I’ll be able to tell you more. We’ll do a little Q&A and I’ll answer your questions as best I can without giving away the good stuff. I even have a couple of teasers planned that will lead up to the book release. No title on the new book yet, but when I come up with one, you’ll be the first to know.

If you want to find out when the next book is available, there are a few ways to keep up with me. The primary way is this website. You’ll always get information here first. There’s also my social media links. And now there’s a new way to keep in touch with me—I have a newsletter. The newsletter will be quarterly and will probably be more focused on my book series than my blog is. So if you don’t care about sci-fi pinups or which Star Trek captain is best, but want to keep up with my books, then please sign up for the newsletter.

Also, I’m giving away three paperback copies of THE FOURTH CHANNEL! Hop on over to Goodreads and enter to win. The contest runs for two weeks.

Lastly, I’ve been around on the web. Here are some links in case you missed them:

Tiffany White interviewed me over on her “fabooolous” site. It’s probably the most I’ve ever opened up about myself. What can I say? Tiffany’s my Oprah: Author Jen Kirchner on Science Fiction, Necromancy, and her Talking Knives

Back in January, I wrote a guest article for author and editor Marcy Kennedy. I talked about my inspiration for the characters in THE FOURTH CHANNEL and how much Cinderella sucks: Do You Like A Little Contradiction In Your Characters?

Last, but certainly not least, Angela Wallace interviewed Stubby: Inside the Life of a Talking Necromancer’s Knife

Happy reading!

But thanks for indulging me, gang. I suppose I just needed the brain-break. Tonight, I wrote up my two-month blogging plan. I have to get back into shape because next month is Snake Plissken Month.

Can’t miss Plissken month.

So stick around, because we’ve got some fun things brewing—a giveaway of my debut novel THE FOURTH CHANNEL (a #1 comic fiction bestseller—sounds strange to say), updates on its sequel, and possibly a new Vote Your Adventure. More on that later.

Right now, it’s time for the sci-fi pinups! If this is your first time joining us for the pinups, this is the monthly segment where we proudly name the hotties of the science fiction and fantasy universe, then shine a spotlight on their green skin and tentacles.

Or something.

Mr. March is a lean, mean fighting machine. Formerly a public servant, Mr. March now spends his time traversing alternate universes looking for other versions of himself… to kill. Turn-ons include spouting cheesy one-liners, hot girls who keep explosive rats in their high-heels, and hugging police officers with motorcycles. His turn-off is being number Two.

He is…

…Yulaw from The One!

Here’s a short clip of Mr. March in action. Skip to 0:24 for the most hilarious line in the movie. Er, I mean serious. Very serious. You don’t think he heard me say that, do you?

Moving on before I get my butt kicked!

Miss March is a strong woman in uniform. She’s the only female officer among a crew of men, and she’s a total team player. Her turn-ons are cute alien children, being hired for Earth-bound acting gigs, and not being transported light-years away onto alien spacecraft. Turn-offs include cute alien children who turn out to be psychotic butchering murderers, not getting paid, and repeating a ship’s computer. Miss March has one job, and it’s stupid, but she’s gonna do it, okay?

She is…

…Gwen DeMarco from Galaxy Quest!

If you head out on the town with Miss March, be sure to bring an extra beryllium sphere. It will save you the trouble of dangerous missions where crewmen without surnames are sure to be killed.

I couldn’t find my favorite clips of Miss March in action, but this one is good, too. It’s a great movie. Highly recommended.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney.

It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.

Our first order was choosing our Mr. February. He’s a distinguished and adventurous man, someone who has seen firsthand the perils of space travel, as he lives and works there every day. (That’s because he’s trapped on a spaceship and can’t escape.) Mr. February’s looks will appeal to all, with his shiny, hard body, shirtless and glistening in oil. And he smells like gumballs. Sexy. What Mr. February lacks in height he makes up in personality and color. He is…

…Tom Servo from Mystery Science Theater 3000!

Mr. February’s turn-ons are being told that he’s tall, pretending that he’s tall, and when everyone else walks on their knees. Turn-offs include mad scientists who force him to watch terrible movies and mad scientists’ mothers who force him to watch terrible movies. If you want to take Mr. February out on a date, you’re screwed because he’s stuck in space. You’re better off putting a poster of him on your wall and calling it good.

And now, for a bonus—here’s Tom Servo’s theme song!

And now, allow me to introduce you to Miss February! She’s beautiful, feisty, and too hot to handle. Literally. She might melt your skin off. But don’t let that dissuade you—she really is a sweetheart, and I know she’d feel badly about it afterward. Miss February spends most of her time fighting evil and saving the world from certain doom. Well, except for that one time when she single-handedly brought about Armageddon, devastating the earth with her hotness. And by hotness I mean awesome pyrokinetic powers. But like I said, she felt really, really badly about it after. She is…

…Liz Sherman from Hellboy!

If you head out on the town with Miss February, take a fireman’s jacket and a fire extinguisher. And a pair of adult diapers. Here’s a shot of Miss February in action. Skip straight to the 1:45 mark to see her hotness in action. And by hotness, I mean face-melting. If she were in a duel with the Ark of the Covenant, I’m not sure who would win.

If you’re enjoying the site, subscribe for more! The RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my debut novel, THE FOURTH CHANNEL, about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives.

Pincushion photo courtesy of Lina-Sydney.

Since February is the month of love, we’ve taken two love stories (uh, kinda) and twisted them. My selection for you is the international sensation/fan-fiction gone wrong FIFTY SHADES OF GREY. Angela’s taken the classier route and riffed Shakespeare’s classic story, MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING.

Did we make them better or worse? I don’t know, but they’re definitely funnier. And on my scoreboard that means we won. I’ll include a link to Angela’s story at the end of this post, so you don’t have to hop back and forth between the two sites.

Okay, let’s get on with it! Here’s Fifty Shades of Predator!

Ana Steele is a college senior who works part-time at a hardware store. She lives in Portland with her best friend, an aspiring journalist. When Ana’s roommate comes down with the flu, she begs Ana to take her place and interview 27-year-old Christian Grey as part of her expose on underground sporting events among the obscenely wealthy. She tells Ana that Christian Grey is a competitor sponsored by Bill Gates in a private hunt, though she’s been been unable to gain any additional information because of its secrecy. She says it is her only chance to speak with Christian because he is about to enter the competition and then he’ll be incommunicado.

Ana agrees to interview Christian on her roommate’s behalf. Because she’s never interviewed anyone before, she stumbles through their hour-long meeting. Christian alludes to the secret hunt, but he refuses to say what they’re hunting, how often the hunt occurs, or who’s involved. Ana leaves feeling guilty because she thinks she completely screwed up the interview. Her roommate is visibly disappointed in the lack of information Ana was able to gather, but says she did well enough.

A few days later, Ana is surprised when Christian walks into the department store where she’s working. She helps him locate a variety of items: a squirt bottle, lighter fluid, and duct tape. Ana suspects he’s making a miniature flamethrower for the next hunt. Curious about this illegal sport, Ana tells Christian that her roommate would also like photographs to go along with the article. Christian pays for the items and they exchange information.

That night, Ana receives a package from Christian containing pages of printed email exchanges between famous millionaires and competitors who participated in previous hunts. Though the exchanges speak in great detail about dates, supplies, and incredibly advanced weaponry, the information on what they’re hunting is incredibly vague. The only name Ana can glean from the papers is “Predator.” Furthermore, Ana and her roommate discover that every participant named in previous hunts has died from mysterious and gruesome accidents, and Christian is the only competitor in the last five hunts to survive. Later, Christian calls and says the next hunt is about to begin and that he probably won’t live through it, and thus is ready to answer her questions. The roommate is still puking her guts out from the flu, so Ana agrees to meet him.

An hour later, a helicopter arrives to take Ana to Christian’s apartment in Seattle. Once there, Christian seems nervous and confesses that he regrets bringing her there. He takes her to a room that’s stocked with high-tech weaponry and gear, most of which is so expensive that even modern militaries can’t afford it. Christian asks Ana to sign a non-disclosure agreement, forbidding her to repeat anything he tells her. She refuses and leaves the apartment.

As she reaches the helicopter pad, she hears a strange series of clicks behind her, but can’t locate its source. Thinking it’s Christian pursuing her, she breaks into a run for the helicopter.

Just before she reaches the door, red laser beams streak overhead. The helicopter explodes in a ball of searing fire and black smoke, and the blast throws Ana backward through the air. Shards of metal and glass pepper the platform and easily slice through Ana’s clothes, cutting her skin. Her body slams down on the far edge of the roof and she nearly rolls over the side when something hard clamps down on her ankle and jerks her back. Her eyes struggle to focus through the smoke and sweltering heat, and she blinks rapidly at the wavering air above her, which she believes to be a trick of the light and fumes.

To her shock, the wavering fumes begin to coalesce, leaving a tall, muscular monster hovering over her, its black dreads dangling around its silver mask. Ana is too frightened to move or even scream. She watches as the monster kneels beside her. It clamps one armored hand around her throat. With the other hand, it digs a finger into a deep cut, scooping out fresh blood. With it, the monster draws a symbol on her cheek. And then it stands.

Shouts and new laser fire shake Ana out of her stupor. She sees Christian running from the nearby door toward her. The monster stands, though it does not seem afraid. It vanishes. Ana watches the distorted air over her turn and run toward the roof’s edge, where it vaults effortlessly over the side and out of sight.

Christian arrives at Ana’s side and kneels down. He explains that the sport is not a hunt at all—it’s a game of survival against a savage alien race who takes human skulls as trophies. They do not know the alien race’s name, so they simply refer to them as Predators. Unfortunately, the marking on Ana’s cheek means she has been chosen for the next human hunt, and, whether she wishes to participate or not, the Predator will come for her. She must learn to defend herself or die.

Hope you enjoyed Fifty Shades of Predator! There wasn’t as much action as I was hoping for because the original book doesn’t have a lot of “plot” to work with. And when I say “plot,” I’m using sarcastic finger-quotes. To make up for it, and give us our fill of laser beams and carnage, I’ll mash up the sequel soon.

Don’t forget to hop on over to Angela Wallace’s site and check out her Friendship is Magic/Much Ado About Nothing mashup!

If you like what you’re seeing here on the site, please subscribe for more: the RSS link is in the sidebar, and you can also connect with me on Twitter and Facebook. You can also pick up my new book release about a comically bad necromancer and her talking sacrificial knives. THE FOURTH CHANNEL is available as an ebook on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.