Jenevive's Journey

Living together before marriage?

2008-07-31T09:47:00.000-07:00

USA Today wrote an article about non-married couples living together and the divorce rate in "Living Together No Longer 'Playing House'". Recently, studies show that divorce rates are lower for couples choosing to live together before marriage.

After reading this short article, I'm actually a bit shocked. I think every marriage has many diverse tangents and angles that affect every couple differently. In my experience, my soon-to-be-ex-husband and I did not move in together until we were married. And ta-da, our marriage ended in divorce. There is no formula as to what makes marriage last, it just has to endure many obstacles that sometimes cannot be hurdled.

My advice: follow your intuition and believe in what your heart tells you. Sometimes it is extremely hard to abstain from allowing someone else to make your decisions, but in the end, it's you who you are left with. Reading some statistic that says cohabitation is right or wrong for a marriage is no way of measuring this outcome - ask anyone who's been divorced!

“A dog’s life?”

2008-07-09T10:09:00.001-07:00

My husband just doesn’t understand… Our family dog, Frankie, was so sick today that my daughter and I had to take him to the vet. All he could do was complain about the cleaning and vet bills. How can he be so cold? This just confirmed my decision to divorce. My only worry now is how Judy will take it. How can I make sure she understands that we still care about each other and her when we are getting a divorce?

Wedding weekend...

2008-07-07T14:47:00.001-07:00

This weekend I not only celebrated the Fourth of July, I also attended my niece’s wedding. She resembled an angel in white, gliding down the aisle to her future husband. The synagogue was packed with a crowd of 600 guests, making me grateful for the presence of my soon-to-be-ex-husband. We watched as our daughter, a flowergirl, smiled to us in the crowd. She looked so proud to be in the wedding party. That was definitely the highlight of my weekend. I gave the only advice I could – keep the spontaneity between you – and always put your friendship on the front burner. What would your advice have been?

So much to do, so little time...

2008-06-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

So much to do, so little time... So often I feel pulled in a million different directions. My job is surrounded by deadlines and stress. My husband needs the house to be clean and orderly - to the extreme. My daughter needs me to wash her favorite pink shirt. Even the dog needs to be taken out on walks and fed on time. The world doesn't ever stop for me. There is a constant pressure to win the "Woman of the Year Award". Does anyone else feel you just don't measure up to anyone's expectations?

If I were a character in a story. . .

2008-06-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

I’m your average housewife and mother, however that’s not who I really am. Parts of me have seemed to disappear since I took on this new role. I’m afraid if I don’t rediscover those parts my soul will die and my journey in this life will be for nought. . .Have you ever felt that way?