Sparkling Ideas

That one year gap

2015-07-14T22:43:00.002+08:00

The last post I had was March 2014 when I was 7 months pregnant. And so I thought I would be back on blogging but somehow the whirlwind schedule of a mom-of-three "slash" career woman couldn't afford me that extra time to write. Or maybe that's just an excuse.

Anyway, here I am one year and 3 months later wielding my fingers again on Blogger. I do hope to sustain the momentum. Now, what to write about.

Growth. I am totally a different person 10 years ago. Now, my time is counted by the minute. I have fears on my children, their safety, their future. The house, the work, meeting my husband's needs, tuition fees, gas, home mortgage, the bills... At 34 and married, the list goes on.

And yet - HOPE. Perhaps one of the biggest milestones in my life as a person is that I learned to hope, to pray fervently, to trust, to know that life has more to offer than the present worries and the future fears, to cling to God no matter what.

I will age, problems will come, but I have a GOD who promises He'll carry me throughout the highs and lows.

In that one year gap, I pondered the growth I achieved so far. Is this a sign of aging? Hahaha!

Surely, I am a work in progress. I slip, fail, fall, get frustrated-angry-desperate, but I get back up again. This is life, after all.

Have a good one!

On Writing, Going Back to Work and Getting Pregnant...Again

2014-03-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

It has been 10 months since I last wrote on my blog! 10 months?!

As I write this post, I am six months pregnant with my third child, and scratching my shoulders, fervently. I do not know why pregnancy makes woman scratch all the time! And so to divert the itch, I write---or is it the itch to write that makes me do this?

Whatever it is, again welcome back blogger (nod to self)!

The last time I wrote, it was senatorial elections. I was job hunting, just gave birth to my son, a stay-at-home mom with freelance work and enjoying the slow pace of life at home.

Since then, it has been a whirlwind:

Got hired in a healthcare services company to lead internal communications
Celebrated my son's first birthday
Did events here and there at work
Adjusted from a 3-year career hiatus to the daily demands of work
Made investments for retirement
work. work. work.
Gained new friends, met new people
Bought new wardrobe, shoes, back to make up
Got pregnant again! (Surprise!)

Life is indeed full of changes, shifting gears so fast you need to catch your breath!

2014 Pregnant at 6 months

Throwback: 2012 Pregnant at 5 months (Took the chance to get a pic at the Rappler office LOL!)

It's one's ability to cope though that matters. And the good thing is, I am coping.

Cheers to the things we do for the second, third and nth time!

Why Social Media Failed In Its Campaign Against Nancy Binay

2013-05-15T17:54:00.001+08:00

There were countless memes, sarcastic and vicious jokes that made fun of Nancy Binay's alleged incompetence to run in the 2013 senatorial elections. Yet, the ballot machines collected over 12 million votes—and counting, propelling her to the 5th rank in the senatorial race. Social media, for this part of Philippine history, seemed to have lost its earth-moving power.

Why the incredible results? Just after the elections, it dawned on me. Social media users, myself included, focused the preaching to the "converts"—those already convinced of Nancy Binay's apparent lack of public service experience. We were talking within a circle.

Nancy Binay, personal assistant and mother of four now turned Senator of the Philippines

Many heard it through the grapevine, but not the majority

Information—both with good intentions and otherwise—did not reach the lion's share of voters, those who had little or no access to the Internet. These are the people in underprivileged communities, Filipinos who can be easily bespectacled and influenced by flashy TV commercials. These are the people who endlessly hope for someone who can relate to them and change their lives for the better. Nancy Binay had that relating power.

Questions to her credibility and puns went wildfire on Twitter, Facebook and other websites—from being plain fun, simply sarcastic, to creatively scornful. It went unstoppable. Yet, the laughs, likes, clicks, and shares remained online, scarcely trickling down to the knowledge of those who believed otherwise.

For every 500 shares of a Nancy Binay meme, Nancy Binay is working round the clock—on the field reaching thousands of voters whom she will shake hands with and talk to on stage or during caravans.

My conservative assumption: 1 Facebook share versus 5 voter interaction (boosted by the Binay-name magic) = Nancy Binay wins.

Negative reports watered down by consistent ad campaigns

National TV reported all that was happening on social media, yet all the reports were watered down by her larger-than-life advertisements, cohesively planned out and immensely funded.

Social Weather Stations surveys influenced most voters too, as it consistently showed Nancy Binay leading the polls at ranks 3, 4 and 5.

What now?

Competency is my sole basis for choosing a candidate, not heredity, surnames, or flash-in-the-pan fame. I was never for Nancy. Yet this time, I will have to concede.

She won. I get that. From this day on, Nancy Binay will have to endure political pressure while guiding four children who will sadly and inevitably get caught in the chaos. But that I think is not new to the Binay family. Nancy Binay was her parent's personal assistant for 20 years and did not hold any government position that she can use in her new role. In the years that would come, she'll be out of her comfort zone, into political battles that require the fiercest combaters and fighters.

A chance to prove herself

I believe that for her children and for the life of her, Nancy Binay will do all she can to prove herself despite the lack of experience, intense public scrutiny, and great insurmountable expectations from her counterpart and constituents.

Who knows? Nancy Binay may one day turn her online bashers into believers, her critics to followers, and her default-hand-me-down authority into an enduring legacy. This is my prayer–that she would be one of the best senators we've had yet. Impossible? Maybe, maybe not.

Disparaging jokes or sarcasm won't do anymore. This country doesn't need these to move forward. As a law-abiding member of this society, I recognize the need to submit to authority while being watchful and vigilant. This, after all, is my role as a citizen of this free country.

My message to Senator Nancy Binay

Senator Nancy Binay, since you are already elected by the majority of Filipinos, my support is with you. Be strong, be courageous, and serve the people who put their trust in you, with humility and not arrogance. Because God allowed you to win, I trust that He has a great plan and responsibility for you—to stir change and make it happen.

As you promised, you will take care of the welfare of mothers and children. Please do so—so that mothers will no longer shed a tear for their children's aching tummies, and children will no longer cry for missing school and being forced to shelve their dreams.

God bless all your endeavors!

P.S. We are closely watching you.

What It Means to Be a Good Driver

2013-05-08T09:29:00.002+08:00

Photo courtesy of GazetteXtra.Com

A Filipino jeepney driver who drove around the busy streets of Metro Manila migrated to Canada. While applying for a driver's license, he got excited to show off his time-tested driving skills. After all, he was the best at maneuvering through the narrowest streets and overtaking up to six cars in a two-way lane. So he showed how he runs the engine, smiling with confidence as the examiner observed him throughout the routine. He waited for his name to be called and when he went to the window where the licenses are issued, his smile went into an open mouth shock. His application was rejected!

They say that this story happened for real, and almost all Filipino immigrants in Canada applying for driver's license are told of this: to scare them off from over-performing. Well, the Philippines is one of the toughest place to be a driver, that's according to the BBC network. They even made a show out of it!

On the other side of the gear, there are best places to be a driver. And based on my observation, one place is in Canada. Staying in Vancouver for a short but sweet three months allowed me to admire and learn the discipline and respect that drivers, young and old, have while on the road. Here are some of my observations:

Drivers make a full stop on road intersections, especially in residential areas and even when there are no cars around.
Horns are not tooted unless urgently and life-and-death-necessary.
Speed limits are strictly followed. When they say go 20KPH, people do stick by the numbers!
Drivers slow down when the traffic lights hit yellow. (Here? You tell the story.)
When they see a pedestrian crossing the road, they will press on the breaks and wait for the pedestrians to cross. (Awesome, isn't it?)
Buses do not overtake and scurry for passengers. (That's because they are paid by the government!)
Oh and on the expressways, drivers hardly change lanes, unless they are making a turn or are preceded by a very slow-moving vehicle.
Cars are parked only in the proper places.

What it means to be a good driver in the Philippines

If you ask me, I still love the Philippines—traffic and no traffic, good and bad drivers. My only hope is for motorists to take their driving lessons seriously and follow traffic rules. What are the basic rules?

Signal at least 10 seconds before making a turn.
Follow speed limits.
Give way to pedestrians.
Do not beat the red light.
If possible, let the car who gets first in an intersection be the first to go.
Do not block lanes, unless you absolutely have no clue where you are going. (Get a GPS or a map, then.)
Respect traffic enforcers. (He is just doing his job. I can just imagine standing under the midday sun and smelling all the smoke!)
Overtake with caution, at all times.
Texting and calling while driving should be avoided.
Driving along EDSA? Look at the fancy billboards for no more than three seconds, unless EDSA checks in to the rush-hour parking lot mode. (This also applies in other main thoroughfares.)
And did I say, do not drink and drive?
Say sorry when needs be and give a "thank-you-toot" when necessary.

To give way instead of insist, to give respect where it is due, to keep your cool while on the road. (As they say, anger is only a letter away from danger.) To me, this is what it means to be a good driver.

As I am writing this, I can hear drivers speeding along the road that is just a few meters from my fence. I live in a private residential community but it feels like my house is in front of an expressway! It has been two weeks since I submitted a petition to enforce the speed limit and I am still waiting for Filinvest Land Incorporated to take action.

So here goes my advocacy: take heed all ye drivers.
It is better to practice road safety than to be sorry. Be good!

From sugarcane gatherer to PMA Class Valedictorian

2013-03-17T13:20:00.000+08:00

He smiled shyly as people avidly inquired about the PMA planner and calendars he was selling. Then I jokingly asked him if he and his fellow PMA buddies can strike a pose with my son. They awkwardly agreed, but their smiles with my little boy were perfect.

My son Max with PMA cadets at the 2013 Philippine Military Academy (PMA) Homecoming in Baguio City (In photo, first person from right is PMA 2013 Valedictorian Jestony Aman Lanaja. Click to enlarge.)

Little did I know that the PMA cadet would be hailed as the PMA Class Valedictorian of 2013. He is Jestony Aman Lanaja, the son of a humble palm wine (tuba) farmer in Davao del Sur.

During his PMA valedictory address, the 22-year old Lanaja described the hardships he went through as a child due to poverty and extreme lack of opportunities in the province. Yet, Jestony Aman Lanaja said he owed his strength, endurance, and patience through this experience. With his father and mother in proud and joyful tears, he honoured them by crediting them for his achievements. Summing up his speech, Lanaja thanked the almighty God for bringing him this far and for making his impossible dream a reality.

A Tough Road to Triumph

According to the Philippine Daily Inquirer, this 2013 PMA class valedictorian stopped for one year during high school. "Walang wala kami (we were broke)," he said. Jestony Aman Lanaja then worked odd jobs just to earn extra money. In one of Davao's sugarcane plantation, the young lad gathered sugarcane under the heat of the scorching sun, earning around P50 a day. Each bundle of sugarcane was P1.25 and Lanaja managed to gather around 50 bundles.

In the midst of all the hardships, Lanaja's charm shone through when his village members elected him in the Sangguniang Kabataan (SK) council. Before entering the academy, this 2013 PMA class valedictorian was able to complete a one-year electrical technology course in a TESDA-accredited school in Davao, under a scholarship grant.

Jestony Aman Lanaja bested 123 candidates in the PMA Pudang Kalis Class of 2013. The term Pudang Kalis means Puso't Dangal ng mga Kawal ng Lahing Nagkakaisa, or Soldiers with Heart and Honor, Unified in Strength. Pudang Kalis also means sacred sword in Muslim.

Lanaja's story is truly inspiring. Dreams can do come true even under the worst of circumstances. I would be cheering him on as he serve this country, and pray that he, along with the other graduates, will stick to the virtues that their Alma Mater taught them, to serve with loyalty, courage and integrity.

This would be a lovely story to tell my son when he grows up!

Farewell Asian Pundit

2013-03-09T23:28:00.005+08:00

I stared into the hollowness of an impending departure. My denial and unspoken resistance are not strong enough to cease his flight—off to a new world he may have already prepared for, while gripping on the now and more years on the physical realm that may never come.

It was Wednesday when I wrote the first paragraph of this entry, after learning that my first-ever boss Michael Alan Hamlin was slowly losing his battle with cancer. With my feet and hands in a hurry, I didn't lose the chance to see him, bed-ridden and hooked on tubes. He was far from the strong and towering man I knew, and yet when I looked into his sparkling but fading blue eyes, his light was still there.

I touched his hair and he stared at me. Tears welled up in my eyes and I started to shiver. "I hope you still remember me. I just want to thank you for everything." Those were the only words I was able to mutter. There were no words to say.

Two days after, I got a call from a friend telling me that he already passed away. In the long waiting hours before that call, I kept praying for his recovery, even though I knew chances were slim.

This is a man I have respected since first seeing him on Google search results. Truth be told, I treat him as a "professional dad", a mentor, and most of all, the writer I wish to emulate should God and the years ahead of me would allow this mind to know and stretch as much as his did. The first time we exchanged e-mails, I was a student doing a research on the profession I will later take on. He was a graceful respondent—providing me with information that would help me to pass my subject, despite my amateur writing and obvious academic approach to e-mail interviewing. Months later after graduation, I sent him an email inquiring for a possible job position and just like that, he hired this newbie-college-graduate-without-any-actual-job-and-corporate-dressing-style-experience as his editorial assistant.

Powerhouse M&M
Monette and Mike set up TeamAsia,
an award-winning
strategic marketing and communications firm

Here you go, revised. That's the sentence he would attach to the articles I would send him for review and editing. It was an understatement—all my articles would come back to me without any trace of its previous state. I can barely recognize it. Edited, changed, re-arranged, re-organized. And that's the only word I would hear from him "revised".

In the years that I worked with him, he was very patient in correcting my work, helping me on my articles, coaching me on interviews, providing a tip or two. I appreciate that he trusted me enough to take care of his big clients. And when I mess up at times, he would ask me to take the back seat as he sorted things out.

Author of four best-seller books on marketing, founder of TeamAsia (my first employer), a sought-after marketing and communications consultant, an expert on investing in Asia... superlative descriptors for Michael Alan Hamlin are many. But I would know him too as the loving husband to his Monette, a caring father to his children, playing (almost real) Santa Claus to cheer up children on Christmases, and an avid promoter of the Philippines as an investment destination. Oh yes, while Filipinos are condemning this country for all its flaws, Sir Mike would write articles that would attract more foreign investors to set up shop.

Sir Mike, your Monette, Bea, Cara, Niccolo, James, Cris and dog Bugsy will sorely miss your presence. You are their strength and favorite go-to person, the cushiony pillow they hug for warmth. While it is true that you have many more articles to write and people to lead, heaven and its angels wanted you on their side now. My only prayer is for your loved ones to find comfort in all the fond memories you left with them. God's got your back, and theirs.

So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom. - Psalm 90:12

Probinsiyanong Kape: My Favorite Coffee Recipe in the World

2013-02-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

For coffee lovers like me, we all have that story when we first fell in love with that age-old, bitter -sweet, any-time-of-day perking concoction that is called coffee. Some started to love it when they were young, some in their teens, and some due to the need to be awake at work, especially after having a hearty lunch.

As for moi, I first loved coffee when I was around six years old. And it wasn't instant coffee or Starbucks brews that first touched my taste buds, I call it the probinsiyanong kape, it was the special coffee made by my grandpop.

A little backstory:

When there was no school, my two sisters and I used to go with my grandfather in his farm. (This was the floppy disk and casette tapes era.) After running around, climbing trees, and helping him out pick vegetables, he would gather my two sisters and I in his hut where my grandmother would be busy preparing lunch or merienda. Under our langka tree, my lolo will be setting up his coffee brewing system—a burnt iron kettle filled with water and placed on top of burning wood.

Inside it were sun-dried and toasted coffee beans from coffee trees that he planted himself, water that was derived from the ground, and a few tablespoons of semi-refined sugar.

He would allow the mix to boil for around five to ten minutes, and then strain it as he pours it into our cups. (Oh yes, my mother's not around to tell us not to drink it! Spoiled brats by our grannies!)

My lolo's Probinsiyanong Kape was different from all the coffee I tasted in my entire life—the smokiness from the burning wood, the aroma, and richness. It has a unique earthy and sweet flavour that only water from a deep well can give. Dang it was uniquely delicious! Even after 25 years, I can still remember the taste, one that I miss as much as I miss my grandfather.

I hope one day I can make coffee the way he does, or maybe taste a similar brew.

Lolo, send one cup of your Probinsiyanong Kape to me please!
I'm sure you're brewing coffee now in heaven!

How about you? What's your most memorable and favorite coffee in the world?

Of Boring Afternoons and a Baby

2013-02-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

Here I go again. My hands tugged me to write down my thoughts. These endless days of mothering saw my thoughts racing so much faster, like the white vapor trails left by jetplanes that are blown out of sight by a strong wind. As I wash milk bottles, rock my baby to sleep, or stare at the blue sky while my four-month old baby coos at our little kitties, hundreds of ideas pop in my mind, like the previews of movies in a movie theater—interesting and fleeting.

These are my afternoons of late, boring and characterless in a way because of the routine of childcare that I volunteered myself into, spent mostly on chairs, in front of the TV, and beside the baby crib, walker, and stroller. However, this plateau of plain things also has its precious perks. Because of it, I can weave so many thoughts and visualize plans on my mind, and most of all, I can watch over my little bundle of joy while he grows up and reach every milestone of his infant life.

Looking back at my life three years back, I would never have so much "boring" windows in a day, save for those I spent stuck in traffic, while on my way home from work, or standing in a bank teller's line on a midday. The term rat race maybe an understatement because I was not only rushing for corporate work and squeezing very little time to accommodate so many deliverables, I was also racing to go home to take care of my daughter and the household! It was funny how my officemate and I used to wonder how it feels like to make "tanga", or simply stare for an hour without thinking of anything else to do.

Then I resigned with glee, went on a fruitful freelance work for two years, and had another baby. This time, a boy named Max. As of September 2012, I'm a full-time mom doing the same thing every day. There were offers for me to go back to work, but I chose not to. Thank God for a supportive husband!

This is the time of trading the boredom of monotony for the excitement of working again (and not to mention having my own personal money.) This is the season of routine that I have willed myself into because it will only come to me once.

For now I'll master myself in plans, ideas, endless imaginings, and amuse my heart in TV shows, books, and playtime with my kids. Life as a mom to two young kids have deadlines, and like the professional worker I was, I should deliver the best that I can. Cheers to being a mom!

And so I therefore conclude that boring afternoons are not so boring after all. In fact they are blessings and opportunities. I thank God that I have been blessed to experience such boredom and its blissful benefits.

Pretty soon, I'm back to the race again!

The Best and Worst TV ads of 2012

2013-02-04T17:00:00.002+08:00

Commercials are disturbances, especially when one is watching the climax of an exciting scene and then the show gets cut to air a sponsor ad. However, let's admit it, they are necessary to fuel an entire economy of consumers and manufacturers.

But commercials can do find its way to a viewer's heart and memory when executed in a unique, intelligent and creative way. So for 2012, here are my personal list of the TV ads that made me love or hate to see them cut the show.

Let's start off with the top three BEST.

Just when we thought this ad would go the usual and predictable mushy and cheesy ending, this one hits you at the end—especially many Filipinos who can relate *wink*. Point well taken: Do not depend too much on your parents, get a life, and a house on your own! :)

This is perhaps every Filipinos' dream....for it to snow in the Philippines! Superb imagination, wonderful execution. I can almost feel like I was part of the commercial too and see my self tasting the snow. I just love ads that can take viewers to an entirely different (but familiar) world!

Why this? 3 Ss: simple, smart and short. It's elegant and tastefully created. The best use of words and simple image. Less is more indeed.

And now for the WORST ads.

Big company, big budget, teeny-weeny story line. Man, this commercial lacks imagination and heart. First we all know the actress cannot sing, is this ad kidding us? Although I know this ad is shown in other countries, thus the lip sync, it shouldn't be an excuse to get this done like a highschool student ad project. Get the remote please and change the channel! I hope Rejoice will rethink its commercial story lines to get its viewers rejoicing.

This one made it on top of my WORST list. Again, big company, big budget, big production, ZERO imagination. Guy meets girl, didn't get her name, pretended to be someone and then sang in front of a crowd to wow his girl. I mean, haven't we watched this predictable, recognizable plot in so many movies and TV shows, or even read it in books? The most recent was in Alvin and the Chipmunks when Toby announced his affection for his school friend on stage. I do hope Close Up can think of other ways to sell its brand apart from predictable ads.

There are still a lot of advertisements that I hate to see on TV, especially now that I spend most of my time in front of the tube while taking care of a four month old baby. These are:

Political Ads—Headache! I honestly think politicians should spend their money more on helping people rather than spending it on ad placements. Go on field and community visits, build houses, distribute goods, or give free medical services - their advertising budget can cover all these! Just to give you an idea, and this is only a modest estimate:

30 Sec Commercial ad production cost: PhP 1.5 million
Jingle Production: PhP 500,000
One (1) time ad placement cost (single airing on TV): PhP200,000
One (1) day ad placement cost for five (5) ads: PhP 1,000,000
One (1) month campaign cost for 5 ads in one day: PhP 31,000,000

And the last cost is just for one month! Imagine the money these politicians are

willing to spend on advertisements that only make people cringe at the sight

and sounds of their ads. If they were able to accumulate this much, they can

build schools throughout the nation!

Whitening Products Commercials —Why do they employ the services of born-fair and half-Pinoys to sell these products? Their melanin count does not even meet half of those that they are selling the lotions, creams and soaps to.

Honestly, I am sold out on the idea that our advertising industry creative directors, artists, writers and producers do not lack the imagination to think out of the box. In fact, their creativity is world class. Perhaps, it's the advertisers (manufacturing companies) who are not willing to share this kind of thinking with them.

Well that's it from a consumer's point of view! What's yours? :)

My Baby Love

2012-11-28T13:41:00.002+08:00

I still find it surreal that I was able to bring out two children in this world. Oh my babies, they will always be mine, in heart and soul. From the moment I started feeling them flutter in my womb to how they held my hand the first time, my life has never been the same.

That is why I savour every moment I have with them because years from now, they will be living on their own. God has blessed me as their mother and a steward, to love them and to show them how to become compassionate and society-contributing individuals. But for now, they are my babies. I'll cuddle, hug 'em, and kiss 'em while I know they're still mine.

My six-year old daughter Nicole. A very bubbly, independent and super sociable little lady who has unlimited energy to play.

My two month-old son Max. Sweet, always smiling, and he loves me so much he started sleeping like an adult even before two months! Oh thank God my zombie-days are over!

To Nicole and Max, Daddy and Mommy know you will grow up and we cannot stop it. Always know we love you two very much!

Even a zombie would cry at the saddest episode of The Walking Dead

2012-11-11T16:19:00.000+08:00

OK. So I thought the zombification of Amy, Andrea's sister as well as Sophia's rise from the "normal" dead, or even the entire apocalypse, were all heart breaking. I was wrong, they were all booted out by Lori.

The Walking Dead Season 3, Episode 4:
Lori talks to Karl before she had an amateur caesarian section done by Maggie. She then asked her son to shot her in the head before she turns into a zombie.
Photo courtesy of www.afterelton.com

In episode 4 of The Walking Dead Season 3, my tears fell for the first time. I was dumbfounded for almost an hour asking why Lori died in such a way, how Carl will cope with her death, and what it will make of Rick.

(For those of you asking what on Earth I am talking about, click here to read about The Walking Dead. It happens to be cable's most watched television series in history.)

It hit me because for the first time ever, I related to Lori as a mother. Her love for Carl and her unborn baby was overwhelming albeit she knew that she has lost all her chance to protect them from the cruel, sad world ruled by walkers.

Not wanting her baby to die inside her womb, she bravely asked Maggie to cut her open. She had to do that because she's been bleeding yet her cervix is not yet dilated. It was a cul de sac, a dead end where she either dies with the baby--both turning them into walkers--or she dies and the baby lives as a normal child.

After the unsanitary C-section which by the way happened in a basement, on the floor, and with walkers lurking just outside---Maggie peeks at the door and hears a gunshot. Carl then came out with a gun on his hand, assuming that he finished the job to end his mother's life. (Parents, watch this by yourself and not with kids, okay?)

The three then came out into the yard. Rick, Lori's husband, already knowing that Lori's dead when he saw the baby looked at Carl and was terrified to realize what his son did.

He fell into the ground, weeping.

Amazing how some fiction TV series can take you to another realm as if you were there. Thank God His version of the apocalypse based on the bible is different and filled with much hope!

Prayer of a Tired Mom

2012-10-28T19:30:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

These past 45 days I haven't had a good sleep. Apart from a very painful anesthesia-free delivery, an aching back due to hours of carrying a baby, round-the-clock care for the odd looking little man, and looking after another child, oh make that two to add my husband, my only wish is to go on a snooze fest. The wish I know is not possible at this time.

You know how:
I cannot easily take a bath because the baby may cry.

I eat in less than two minutes because the baby needs to be fed.

I have not been able to go on dinners, gatherings, or just a mall-stroll because the baby needs my warm hug.

I cannot even comb my hair when the baby has tummy gas.

I cannot go easily to the washroom to pee because the baby may need to hear a lullaby.

I miss my eldest daughter so much because his brother takes so much of my time.

I am saddened to spend little time with my husband because the baby's between me and him.

You know all these too well. And yet I thank you:

For giving me a 30-second to 2 minute window to go to the washroom when the baby's asleep.

For making him stare at me as if I am his survival.
For blessing me with flowing milk that sustains him - and saves us money!
For making him smile and giggle while he's asleep and how those just sweep all the stress away.
For allowing me to see him grow each day.
For blessing me with a loving husband who loves and provides so gracefully.
For making my daughter show her love for me by simply helping place dirty nappies on the trash.
For my mother who travels back and forth just to give us a helping hand.

It is with overflowing gratefulness that I recognize how you make the blessings overcome the temporary stress and challenges.

I may be so tired by now, but I feel so loved by You.

Daughter's dream room - done!

2012-07-13T09:27:00.004+08:00

She got the room she wanted. On second thought, it's the parent's [childhood] dream room too!

My six-year old daughter Nicole share the same undying love for the color yellow as I do. And while she loves princesses, she is more hooked on Super Mario games and playing with toys-for-the-boys, like her dad. Now I know, genes work!

I just feel so blessed and thankful to God to see her enjoy her own "kingdom". It was a far cry from mine and Elmer's. Growing up, we both used to sleep on beds with no cushion!

Room ideas

Yellow and green makes for a perfect combination - reminds me of Avocado, my favorite fruit! The room was made to cater to both sexes because in the next five years, a second child will be moving in, and this time a boy! Click on the images below for a bigger view.

Her majesty's door

Bunker with pull-out bed and three drawers at the bottom

My favorite part of the bed - a book and toy shelf!

Her 7-yr old study table (passed on by her daddy) and of course, a yellow chair

A small nook by the window

A school supply wood organizer to tidy up the desk.

Super Mario, Disney Princesses, Power Rangers...

and the Avengers!

Piglet, Jessie and some stuffies complete the gang

And don't forget the bed time stories!

We had super fun putting this room together. Now, it's the families favorite hang-out in the house!

For details about the fixtures:
Yellow paint: Davies BioFresh - Summer Yellow
Green paint: Davies BioFresh - Green Tea
Bunker bed purchased from La Sedia Festival Supermall Alabang (PhP30,000) promo price
Yellow chair from Dimensione Alabang Town Center (PhP995)
Cabinet was custom built.

The Hong Kong Summer Showreels Promo: Visit Hong Kong for free, and win HK$200,000 shopping money!

2012-07-12T10:28:00.001+08:00

Who doesn't love to travel, especially when it's all-expense paid and with shopping money? Here's a chance to win a free trip to Hong Kong and compete for the grand prize - a whopping, eye-popping HK$200,000 Visa spending money! Yes folks, that's HK$200,000!

Presented by the Hong Kong Tourism Board and Visa, Hong Kong Summer Showreels Promo is an online contest where participants can select their travel style and preferred Hong Kong destinations using a showreel. One winner from participating countries and his or her partner of choice will fly to Hong Kong and compete as a team in the Visa go Hong Kong Super Shopper contest where the grand prize is HK$200,000 Visa spending credit. Imagine all the things you can buy with that! (I'm beginning to drool!)

http://summershowreel.discoverhongkong.com/hkss.php

To participate in the Hong Kong Summer Showreels Promo, visit: http://summershowreel.discoverhongkong.com/hkss.php, create your Hong Kong summer show reel, and automatically share it via Facebook so your friends can vote. (Hint: you may want to get your Facebook campaign-hat on) Freebies from Sasa.com will also be given for every 100th showreel submitted.

Promo runs from June 25, 2012 to July 24, 2012.

Winners should be able to travel from August 28 to 31, 2012 for the Hong Kong Visa go Super Shopper Contest.

Ahh...too bad I'm 8 months pregnant on these dates, so passing off the chance until next year. :)

How to select baby names, wisely

2012-06-29T10:26:00.001+08:00

I'm trying to search for baby names for my second child, a son. As of writing, I am about to enter my third trimester, at seven months. My first child was named by my husband, and happily, even with him having 90% of the decision, I was able to find a special meaning in the names picked: Nicole (victory of the people) Gabrielle (strength of God)

Combined, the names mean victory of the people through God's strength. Isn't it wonderful? (Of course, I self-patronize a bit )

My penchant, or rather frustration for good, unique names started when I was seven years old. Bear with me now - I was named Jenny (yes, that's it, nothing follows) which means "pure white" and is highly ranked at #282 out of 4276 girl names. From grade one onwards, there was a minimum of three girls named Jenny in my class. Luckily for the other girls, their names are not just Jenny - Jennifer, Jennilyn, Jennah - so they have options to choose from. Mine was just Jenny. My teachers call me Jenny 1, Jenny A. or Jenny Liit (for small). I get this question all the time, "Is your name just Jenny?"

I spent moments wishing that I was named Victoria, Antoinette, Coleen, Samantha, Rassa, and all other names I can think of.

Which is why naming my children has become a big deal for me — bigger than thinking of where I should give birth! Even though I know that at the end of the day, my husband will have the last say!

Not wanting to make the same oversight that my parents made, I have this four homemade rules in baby name selection:

Select a name that has a personal meaning with you. Names should not be given just because it sounds good. Research the meanings of the name, and see if it strikes a chord in your heart or reminds you of an important concept, value or experience. Go to http://www.thinkbabynames.com, http://www.babynames.com, or http://www.babynamescountry.com to make sure you did a good background check. I know of people who, if given the FREE chance, will change their names in a heartbeat - Ginebra, Gaylord, Semen, Matutina, Casino, Macho.
Make sure the name sounds good with the baby's last name. Like mix-matching clothes, test if the first names and last name sound in harmony. Resist the temptation of sparingly pairing very unique names with Filipino surnames. Would you like people to play thoughts on their mind in names like Aramina Calaycay, Mishta Licuran? The fact is, we cannot change our surnames. This calls for parents to think of more sensible names that will go well with their inevitable family names.
Think twice before using "artista" names. Just because there are popular stars when you were conceiving or you idolize someone, doesn't mean you will let their influence permeate your baby's birth record. Will you name your child Lady Gail, because Lady Gaga's dominating the music scene? Or Piolo, Xian "Leem", Aljur, or Solenn? Chances are there will be a lot of children that will be named the same names. Most specially, never name your child after a controversial starlet or "bold" star of your generation! Be creative, be original, and most of all, be wise.
Make the name reflect the life you want for your child to live. Words speak life or death and names do the same. Make your child's name reflect confidence, strength, wisdom and good opportunities. Names like Elijah (The Lord is my God), Galadriel (Maiden crowned with radiancy), Rohan (Rising, healing, horse-rider), Joseph (God increases), Gavin (White Hawk of Battle), Azria (helped by God), Eleazar (God is my help) are significant and strong names. Find one that suits your child. Most of all, find one that he'll be proud of.

The half search is on for my second child's name. My daughter Nicole wanted a baby brother, and she said she will name him Max for reasons only she can tell. She's been declaring this three months before I found out that I was pregnant. Credit goes to her for praying to God every night to make the pregnancy and the baby's gender come true.

Did I mention my husband has the last say? After one night working at home, he saw his John Maxwell Leadership Bible and Eureka! Considering his favorite daughter's wish and our love for John Maxwell's books, he said he'll name our son Maxwell. Can it be:

- Nathan Maxwell (God has given + the greatest)

- Maxwell Von (the greatest (+) hope)

That's the list for now. Any suggestions?

"See, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." - Psalm 127:3

How Baguio was before SM

2012-04-12T00:15:00.001+08:00

Before there was SM, Baguio City was flourishing with quaint boutique shops, home-grown stores, rustic restaurants, and specialty stores that would require word-of-mouth and an adventurous heart to find.

Instead of National Bookstore, there was Jet's — a small book and school supplies shop that surprisingly has everything that a student will need. Small grocery stores like 456 and 568 were owned by Chinese businessmen who grew up in the city. Toys were sold in family-owned novelty shops, artists' paints in a small hardware near Igorot Park, and music record bars, shoe shops, and bakeries are scattered in every corner.

Session Road - where all the main boutique, shops and restaurants were. Photo courtesy of http://www.baguio-city.net

In essence, none can be found in one place. But it was a joy and challenge to find all these things even though it would require a 30-minute walk from upper Session Road to its edge near the Maharlika Plaza and towards either direction—the Baguio City Market to the right and Burnham Park to the left. And who would mind? The cool Baguio breeze makes anyone inspired to take the long walk.

I remember these so vividly because I studied in Baguio for four years, from 1997-2001. After my class, I will walk through a half kilometer road that traverse the Luneta Hill instead of taking a jeepney ride to Session Road. This quiet, breathtaking path is lined up with tall pine trees that sprung decades before I was born. It gives a view of the city, the Baguio Cathedral, and the Cordillera mountains from afar.

This same hill is where SM Baguio is located now.The once tree-filled view is now replaced by the familiar SM structure. What used to be a traffic-jam free Governor Pack Road is now smoke-scented because of the private and public vehicles all edging their way to the mall. Many trees were cut.

Only 182 trees remain in Luneta Hill, 40 were already uprooted as of April 2012.
Photo courtesy of Green Peace

I remember how it was: when Baguio residents were contented with their great finds in the simplest stores; when family dinners were spent in home-grown restaurants; when students spend their breaks and gatherings in the park instead of an airconditioned mall; when small and medium-size businesses flourished because Baguio residents patronized them; when Baguio air was purer; when life was simpler.

SM is a symbol of progress, a haven of convenience and leisure. As a homemaker, I personally thank SM for the convenience it offers and for being true to its jingle "We've got it all for you." And it does make considerations to the environment.

But there also comes a time when an institution needs to rethink its plans, step back, and consider the culture and plea of the society it operates in.

Baguio residents opened its arms to SM. Maybe SM should open its heart to the residents too.
After all, Baguio only wants to save what is left of the trees in Luneta Hill.

Baguio is not Baguio without its precious pine trees.

How to cook Ilocano bagnet and pinakbet

2012-04-10T16:08:00.003+08:00

I first got a taste of this delightful dish tandem 15 years ago when I was a young university student in Baguio City. In our school canteen, we will often be presented with traditional Cordillera and Ilocano food choices ranging from papaitan, igado, pinikpikan, and other northern dishes that are a mix of salty, bitter, sour, and sweet. Growing up in Bulacan, I am used to eating pinakbet with either fish or pork strips used to flavor the dish. The Ilocano version I believe, is a bit more special.

The Ilocano bagnet is crispy pork belly which resembles the traditional fatty Tagalog delight chicharon, except for it having lean meat sandwiched between the layers of fat. Sounds healthy? It does when it is paired with pinakbet—a mix of local vegetables sauteed in garlic, onion, ginger and shrimp paste or bagoong.

My version of Ilocano bagnet/pinakbet

So the next time you are planning to cook a veggie dish, consider cooking this humble northern dish that your family will surely love. Your kids may even say, "Look mommy, I'm eating vegetables!"

Recipe for Bagnet:

1 kilo of pork belly cut into desired size

1 liter of water

500 ml to 1 liter of cooking oil

2 bay leaves

2 cloves of garlic

Salt to taste

In a big pot, boil the pork belly with salt, garlic and bay leaves for about an hour. Drain and let the pork dry. In the same pot, heat the cooking oil. Deep-fry the pork belly until golden brown. Set aside again to dry. After half an hour, reheat the oil. Sprinkle water on the pork belly and deep-fry again until the skin pops for about 5 minutes. Repeat the process for the last time to add more crunch.

Personal notes:

- I will suggest smaller cuts for the pork, you don't want your cholesterol to shoot up.

- When frying, use a large pot, not a wok or frying pan. This will prevent the bursting hot oil from reaching your skin. Be careful when frying.

- Always check the color of the pork to prevent burning.

Recipe for Pinakbet:

3 cloves of garlic

1 red onion

1 small ginger

1 green chili (optional)

3 pieces tomato

2 medium size eggplant

2 pieces taro or gabi

1 medium size bittergrind or ampalaya

1 sheave of long beans or sitaw

5 pieces of okra

3 to 4 tablespoons of bagoong

2 cups of water

Cut the vegetables pinakbet style. Get about three teaspoons of oil used in frying the pork belly and pour this in a wok or frying pan. Saute garlic, onion and ginger. Then add tomato. After three minutes, mix in the bagoong and pour about two cups of water, then add the taro. Bring to a boil and let it simmer for about three minutes.

Pour in the rest of the ingredients then cover the pan. Shake the pan to let the mixture spread through the vegetables. Let it cook for another two minutes before mixing in the bagnet. Do not overcook the vegetables because it will lose its flavor and crunch. Shake well again and leave in the stove for another two minutes.

Serve immediately with hot steamy white rice, fresh fruits, and extra-fiber rich pineapple juice. *wink*

Mangan tayo!

(Let's eat!)

The Lorax and Love for Trees

2012-03-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

Caught by the sight of orange fur color and the funny yellow beard, my daughter nagged me and my husband into watching The Lorax - an adaptation of Dr. Seuss' 1971 children's book of the same name.

The movie is about a young boy's search for a real living tree. At first he did this to impress a girl who wishes to plant a tree in her backyard. He sought the help of an outcast who met the Lorax - the guardian of trees. Eventually the boy found himself caring for the lost trees and after being given the last seed of a real "Truffala" tree and planting it, his world changed for the better.

What I most love about the movie is its eternal love for trees. The movie depicts them as candy-like trees with cottony swirly leaves - to stay true to Dr. Seuss' 1971 illustrations. Perhaps he wanted to draw more interest and for people to see the trees far beyond its natural state. And kids just love how it looks!

Candy-like or not, I am lover of this natural wonder! As a child I would play, climb, spend picnic under its shade. Even to this day, it amazes me at the way it sprawls up to the sky and forms a motherly canopy that is so welcoming and friendly. That is why the sight of uprooted trees and paved tree territories just make my heart sink.

And it did made my heart sink when the movie showed the last tree being cut. My child asked, her brows almost meeting in the middle, "Why did they cut all of the trees?"

Right on target

"The Lorax" is for everyone to watch - young and old. Entertainment-wise, it has all the elements to engage viewers - funny lines, interesting characters, Broadway-like song numbers, eye-candy imagery, and a thrilling car, rather motorcycle chase scene. And oh, you can also sense that the Despicable Me yellow minions are there in another form.

Its greatest achievement is perhaps not simply to communicate the importance of trees and of nature but also to demonstrate the process by which people get confused between progress and environmental destruction - and how at the end, people justify irresponsible logging as a means of building the economy, and suffer the consequences as a result.

The Lorax then leaves a call for everyone to care for trees and for the environment as a whole. "Unless" is the ubiquitous keyword that is shown in the movie. "Unless" people care, nothing will change.

To environmentalists and nature-lovers, this movie is a big pat on the back. I can almost hear a resounding "Hurray!". To those who are involved in tree-cutting, the movie is a subtle reality check and wake up call to strike a balance between profit and environmental degradation. To the general public - it is an inspirational movie that moves us to care a little more.

In the Philippines, proceeds of the movie ticket sale will go to an Adopt-a-Tree program that aims to plant 2,012 trees in celebration of Earth Day on April 22, 2012.

Hurray for The Lorax! Hurray for Trees!

A [Funny TextMates] Love Story

2012-03-09T16:54:00.001+08:00

Before Facebook and Angry Birds were born, there was text. SMS or cellphone short messaging system was the norm for coordination, socializing, quotes sharing, and even dating. Of all weird and romantic precursors to a love story, mine was... well, texting.

After a break up, I set out on a journey of my own, single and free. About the same time, a complete stranger to me was going through the same process. And when an office friend swapped our cellphone numbers with the intention of match-making, our worlds were instantly connected through text.

By the way, this is how my cellphone looked liked before - a green

and black screen Nokia 3310. Hey I love the snake games here

and how you need to erase messages when you reach the

maximum limit, right?

I still remember when we started sending SMS: Hi, what do u do? :) Hi. How's ur day? :)Are you at home na? U

Yes, we did asked that last question and always ended with a smiley face. The weird thing about having a textmate without knowing their faces is worrying that he or she can be anyone around you - a seatmate in the bus, someone you stand at an MRT line, or maybe the guy seating just right in front of you at a food court. My friend showed me his picture but that was when they were still eight years old!

And then after our texts evolved from inquiry to sweet-nothings, he asked me to meet him. What's the term called? "Eyeball!" I still don't get that word though.

I thought twice, I didn't want to go. Not that I play hard-to-get but who wouldn't get anxious? Anyway, we still met: January 30, 2003 at a mall. My office friend accompanied me of course, after all, he's the culprit.

Nine Years Later

After a month-long courtship and almost three years of relationship, the textmates got married. Woot! Looking back, there are lessons to this story, after all.

It is easier to send an SMS than speak in front of the person. When texting a stranger, be in doubt.
Girls, don't fall for SMS sweet-nothings.
Guys, say things only when you mean it.
2nd and 3rd bullet apply to the opposite sexes too.
Texting used to be costly. Good thing there are unli-texts these days. Go for unli!
Texting can cause insomnia.
Text can start something, but it is better to know the person on a normal set-up - that is talking in person, seeing him in all his highs and lows, sharing experiences and memories. It applies in social media too.
When texting, always use a happy face at the ending unless you are dead serious.

Every love story has a funny, weird or romantic start.

And why am I writing this? Do some people still start relationships through text?
I guess many still do. :)

HIV and the Workplace: Handle with Care

2012-01-21T10:19:00.001+08:00

In 2011, Renaud Meyer of the United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) described the HIV/AIDS situation in the country as “hidden and alarming” and that “all the main ingredients of an epidemic are now present" in the Philippines. Each day, 7 out of 10 Filipinos are tested positive with the virus. And that's only for reported cases.

What if the person we have meetings with or even those closest to us are HIV positive? What do we do?

In a recent focus group discussion that I attended with a select group of participating companies, they admitted that they "do not exactly know how to handle HIV cases." Most HR practitioners said they "rely on their HMO providers" to help them handle HIV/AIDS related incidents.

In this video, the International Labour Organization (ILO) outlines the existing policies and programs that will promote HIV/AIDS related education, prevention, treatment and care in the workplace.

Please do share this as many will benefit from knowing the basic steps in handling HIV/AIDS cases in the workplace and preventing stigma and discrimination among those who are tested positive.

Changing New Year's Resolutions to New Year's Projects

2011-12-29T21:30:00.000+08:00

A day after New Year's day, we will start renovation on our new home - though I am not sure if I can call it "renovation" since we haven't moved in yet. In three months, we will finally leave our sweet and small abode, the apartment which served us for six years. What a fitting way to start 2012.

Perhaps even if not at the start, wouldn't it be nice for each year to be marked by a milestone, a big or small step from one point to another, towards something our hearts always desire?

And then there are new year's resolutions. I will be honest, I started listing down my resolutions every 31st of December since I was 12. On an estimate, only 2% of my total goals were achieved - thus my last list was in 2002.

MY 2012 IN PROJECT NAMES

A 2007 research by Quirkology.Com found that in a random population of 3000 people who listed their new year's resolutions, only 52% of them were confident that they will achieve their goals. As it turns out, only 12% were fulfilled their resolutions.

I guess I belong to the majority. It can be the term itself, New Year's Resolution is now a familiar but dubious expression -- fleeting promises that last only a month or even shorter. It has become like Christmas, an occasion that has lost its wonderful significance in the frantic barrage of gift-buying, shopping, parties, and holiday vacations.

So instead of chronic resolutions, I'm aiming at projects. Projects that will define my 2012. After all, the word project sounds more measurable and attainable doesn't it?

According to the book The Definitive Guide to Project Management, "Project management is the discipline of planning, organizing, securing, and managing resources to achieve specific goals. The primary challenge of project management is to achieve all of the project goals and objectives while honoring the preconceived constraints."

The key word is discipline - it all starts there. Project Management, if applied on a personal level, will involve five critical processes:

Design and Plan - Write the goals and objectives and put the required tasks on a timeline.
Execute - Start, initiate, commence. Tomorrow? Why not today?
Monitor - Ensure that goals are not flashes in the pan by checking their status and making the necessary interventions to avoid delays.
Measure Success - It's not all about the money. If the goal is to overcome impatience, check yourself if you'll pass the next boiling-point test and those that are to come.
Be Creative in Project Names! This is my personal addition. Let go of self-imposed criticisms and let your mind go on a journey of creative discovery. Name your project with a name that resonates with you, that is totally your own. :)

This 2012, I (will fervently, fervently strive) to let go of glimpses of promises, flashes of wishful hopes, and a plethora of pledges. Defined target, structure and objectives are the rules of the game.

And so here are my 2012 Projects, details of some will be kept confidential :)

1. Project Victory

Description: Big word! At 31 I think it's about time for me to get over some immature and callow attitudes that I still have. Plus I need to focus on my favorite 3Ps - patience, productivity and persistence. I also have spiritual goals that need to be revisited and practiced. My primary house, my soul and spirit, needs renovation too!
Timeline: January - December 2012

2. Project Spark!

Description: A project en route to my objects of imagination - to write a book manuscript, to illustrate for a book author, and to join two art contests.
Timeline: Book Illustration; January 2012, Manuscript - March 2012; Art Contest - TBA

3. Project Elmo

Description: Make a second baby - a boy, an Elmer Junior. :D Need I say more? This project is especially focused on me becoming a better mother to hopefully, two kids soon!
Timeline: 2nd Quarter of 2012

4. Project Overflow

Description: Not necessarily spilling, but why not? As a full-time mom with home-based work, I aim to increase my earnings so I can help augment the household cash flow and still enjoy the liberty and perks of managing my own time.
Timeline: January - December 2012

5. Project Go!

Description: Time to get on a bike! I must admit full-time motherhood has confined my physical activities to the kitchen, living room, and grocery store. Now I must work out and start eating healthier. In 4th quarter of 2011, I stopped drinking coffee and has since then enjoyed drinking tea. Good start for 2012!
Timeline: January - December 2012

Richard Wisemen from the University of Bristol, in his study on New Year's Resolutions, found that 78% of people who set resolutions fail. "Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting and make measurable goals, while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.^"

Which is exactly why I am sharing this with you.

May gratitude fill our hearts not just every end of year but every day.
May 2012 see the best ever in all of us.
May we all be blessed and fruitful.
May we all see and seek God in all things, because all things work together for the good.
May we all prosper and have the best year ever!

P.S.
They say the world will end on December 21, 2012. I am pretty sure that 10 days after, I will go online to check this article again. I need to know if I do belong in the 10% women success rate category. :) Hope you'll check this too. Until next December 31 then!

The Anatomy of a Broken Heart

2011-09-28T18:34:00.008+08:00

Whenever I hear stories of female married friends, family, or relatives who go through separation or divorce, a part of my heart is pinched. I may not fully understand the turmoil and the pounding hurt they feel deep inside but somehow I can relate to their feelings and emotions -- perhaps because I am a woman who experienced this wonderful feeling called "love."

One of my friends is going through an ordeal - her husband of more than a decade is leaving her for the "adventure of his lifetime" and of course, another woman he barely even knew. And since I'm constantly updated of what is happening to her, I can't help but cry. As actors would put it, they embody the character they are playing. In a similar manner, my friend's despair rubs on me.

"Love" comes and sweeps us off our feet. Then for some unfathomable but all too familiar reasons like the "Tao lang ako" (I am only human) or the classic "It's not you, it's me", the person who gave 200% devotion finds him or herself confused, with a gaping hole in the chest.

Life's lessons are indeed best taught by experience. These realities only become visible and real when a person gets inside a contract called marriage. To the one in love, he or she overlooks the partner's faults and capabilities to become a worthy spouse - maturity, fidelity, trustworthiness. The one in love is fearless to face "forever." And then at the height of marital challenges, the one in love wallows in an epiphany of regret, of the "I should have knowns". But it is too late.

The Beginning - A Fairy Tale Come True

Boy and girl experience the "spark."
Boy and girl fall in love.
Boy and girl feel forever is not enough.
Boy and girl think the world is theirs to conquer.
Boy and girl become husband and wife.
Boy and girl starts a family.

The Castle Begins to Crumble

Reality then sets in - moving in together, seeing each other's faults and each other at their worst, raising the kids, raising enough money, feeling the romance die, feeling the differences give birth to conflicts, getting irritated for what the other spouse does and what the other does not do. Reality sets in and slowly overshadows the very reasons of the two of them being together.

Such realities open the doors for one partner to seek refuge or temporary satisfaction in another form - a person, a vice, an addiction or worst all three of them. The vice and addiction however are forgivable things and do little to damage the heart. The other person, call it a "third party", is the reason that can make all things go into a black hole.

The Heartbreak

In all heartbreaks, someone does the hammering. The one whose heart is broken into pieces falls at the mercy of the one who errs. As my favorite author Neil Gaiman says, " [Love]... makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up."

True - the heartbroken is not only in pieces but all messed up. Literally, the pain can be compared to pressing an anvil to the heart while knives are inserted on all open sides. Science puts it as stress-induced cardiomyopathy or broken heart syndrome, a condition that follows when the heart is weakened due to extreme emotional stress such as break-up, divorce or the death of a loved one.

Everyday, the broken-hearted struggles to find a ray of light to live. She diverts attention to other things like work. She lives like a jaded zombie until the wonderful healer called time comes to pick up and paste the shattered pieces of her broken heart.

Every now and then the memory of yesteryears floods her, like arrows piercing her inner flesh. The warmth of her lover's hug, the kiss, and the horrible image of him with another woman is too much of a pain to handle - like a dagger jammed and jammed again, breaking into the core of her soul.

The Hope of Healing

A physical heart transplant is always easier than healing the broken heart. It is the soul of the heartbroken that needs healing, the memories that need a daily check up of tucking away, the spontaneous hemorrhagic vengeful conviction that needs to be controlled.

Yes, there is hope. There always is. One can choose to forgive, accept and move on. Some married couples, in the condition where the one at fault finds remorse and is willing to change, swim like champions to the finish line, getting over the hurt, working to achieve healing and restoration and inspiring other couples to do the same. The pain of forgiving is traded for the promise of a better future, a stronger love, a love that has weathered the storms. As always, "mercy is greater than revenge, compassion greater than anger."

Some just stay above the water for convenience' sake - for the children's sake. In worst cases, they live in a facade of togetherness, but internally they are in two separate worlds called "Open Relationship" or "It's Complicated."

Some drown in anger and revenge, caught in a vicious cycle of emotional battles up against each other. As a way to forget the pain and dilute the hate, they seek solace in another partner.

In the case where an erring spouse leaves voluntarily, the one who is left alone has no choice but to move on and heal solitarily. On this solo journey he or she finds what was once the wonderful self --- again, albeit the enormous pain.

To All Married Couples And Those Who Will Be

Occasionally jaded and idealistic as I am, I still believe that love is not a feeling, but a decision. Love is love when one strives to overlook an offense rather than be engulfed in it. Love is love when one remains true to a vow that once was made - through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer. Easier said than done, but true.

Love is love when one overcomes the temporary pleasures and trade it for what is real, what is true, what is right, what is for the long term. When marriage becomes a place of friendship, of loyalty, of cherishing each other, accepting each other's faults, and supporting each other through, love can flourish without being forced.

Here's a precious piece of advice from the best selling book "Have a Little Faith" by New York Times Bestselling author Mitch Albom. This advice came from the words of his minister, Rabbi Albert Lewis, a few months before his death.

"I think people expect too much from marriage today,'' he said.

"They expect perfection. Every moment should be bliss. That's TV or movies. But that is not the human experience. . . Twenty good minutes here, forty good minutes there, it adds up to something beautiful. The trick is when things aren't so great, you don't junk the whole thing."

"It's okay to have an argument. It's okay that the other one nudges you a little, bothers you a little. It's part of being close to someone."

"But the joy you get from that same closeness--when you watch your children, when you wake up and smile at each other--that . . . is a blessing. People forget that."

What Have We Forgotten?

Society has given lesser value to the sanctity of a covenant, of a vow, of a marriage. Our culture has created normalcy out of men or women practicing infidelity as a sign of authority, power, and influence. "Sex adventures" has been promoted as norms, hailing James Bond's spectacular charisma over women as a behaviour worth emulating.

Our media have lowered the image of women, treating them as objects of lust rather than human beings that need to be respected. Worst, women have accepted their value based on beauty, sex, and men's degree of affection towards them. As a result, some women who are desperate to feel loved by a man gives in to the trap of being the second girlfriend, one of the girls, a mistress, or a wife who should be satisfied because "siya ang inuuwian ng asawa niya" (she is the one her husband goes home to.) She has forgotten how precious she truly is. Society has warped what we value, and the sad thing is we conform to its decrees.

Blame it to how society defines love, blame the nagging wife or the complacent husband, but at the end of the day, the choice is still made by the person involved. "Junk the current thing for the new? Walk away? Or choose what is right and work at it?"

Marriage and Its Maker
In so many real testimonies that I heard and learned of, hope and comfort are found in the Great Designer of Marriage - God. By holding on to His promise of peace, restoration, and strength, the one whose heart was broken can find him or herself whole again. And in His perfect will and time, He makes all things new - and even turn broken marriages into renewed vows.

But while at the process of healing, forgiving, praying, but not tolerating, seem to work best for the one at fault. More importantly, it releases the hurting party from pain, anger, and un-forgiveness.

My hope is for all couples to agree to retreat, to go into the state of pondering the very reason they exist, the very reason they are together, the very reason they fell in love. By doing this, marriage returns to its original design - a sacred vow, a precious promise, a decision of love.

My hope is for all couples to humble themselves and pray to the God they promised "forever", to pray for healing, restoration and revival of love that will see them each day and will withstand all storms.
He is the bind that holds them together.

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:12

May God heal the hearts of so many yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

In the Land that Chases the Sun: My Canadian Chronicles

2011-07-14T05:56:00.002+08:00

I should have written an entry since my arrival here. But then again, I just indulged my senses with and savoured the sights, sounds, and all the sensations of the land that loves and chases the sun, Canada.

With four seasons in one year, three of which are spent mostly indoors, who wouldn't go crazy when the sun comes out and put on a welcome sign that says:

"No jackets just wear flipflops, shorts, skirts, short skirt, spaghetti straps, and no layers please!"

I didn't get crazy. I spent my entire life in the Philippines using umbrellas, sun block, and anything that will cover me from the heat of le soleil. But because I am a tourist, I spread my arms wide open and let the sun burn my skin and leave age spots in exchange for great views, sightseeing trips, and spontaneous tours.

So instead of writing my whole experience which will take me a week to finish, I wrote this poem

which says it all:

In the Land that Chases the Sun

In the land that chases the sun

I am a child again

and I play with my daughter

my happy star, Nicole

No schedules, no office to go

Just basking in the sun

Smelling the flowers

Smiling at strangers

In the land that chases the sun

I spend hours looking at the sky

No sticky feeling, no sweat

I just always bring food and jacket

My cellphone hibernates

Because the library, the parks

The gardens, the lakes

They all wait for me like a long lost friend

In the land that chases the sun

I wonder and wander

Maps guide me to places

My feet is restless

Snow slopes, age-old tall trees

Butterflies, bears, squirrels

Lavender, roses, poppies and magnolias

We all exchange Hi's and How are yah?

In the land that chases the sun

I am a child living a mother's dream

Touring, trekking, trip-bound, thanking

Telling my Father, "Thanks for taking me here."

A Spark Plug for the Soul

2011-06-16T02:04:00.002+08:00

Children were born like fireworks - full of energy and sheer idealism, with smiles and excitement beaming wide like the afternoon sun. But as they grow up into adulthood, life's harshness cause many to end up like burned out candles. Oh yes, and I've had my fair share too.

May this poem ignite the inner fire in all of us.

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

***

IGNITE, FIRE UP and SHINE ON!
Special thanks to Jerome Castaneda for sharing this on Facebook.

From being an atheist to a believer

2011-04-21T19:33:00.002+08:00

My faith is like a roller-coaster trip that travelled to the moon and back.

I was baptized as a baby, spent my childhood summer in vacation bible schools, became an atheist during college. My philosophy professor was so convincing that I spent six months of believing nothing and questioning everything. I persecuted my college Christian friends, tried astrology, backed out, until one day I got tired of finding answers to the simplest of all questions, "If there is no God, who created the bright blue sky?"

I then became an un-orthodoxed believer, became a born-again Christian in 2001 and from then on went through highs and lows on my beliefs.

Faith, they say, is a personal walk with God, not defined by religion or denomination, but by knowing the truth.

What is the truth? I searched for it and asked so many questions in my heart, wandered confused, along the way and deep inside, I believe I knew all along. It was in the book, the Bible, that I left dusted for years, that I read occasionally as a child and then tucked away again.

Salvation and truth, all heavy words right? They were definitely for me. It was like a pill that is hard to swallow. The truth was in Jesus Christ, a name I heard like an old broken record. Growing up in a country that puts Him on wood and a litany of prayers made him an all too familiar but strange person to me.

My heart was closed, opened, closed, and opened again.

What worked in my case, was when I opened my heart and "questioning-rational-all-knowing" mind to a search for real answers, and ultimately, humble acceptance. It's time to let go of the old self-righteous, subjective, and know-it-all reasoning. I refreshed my relationship with Jesus Christ, the God in person who walked on this earth, and made an impact 2000 years after his death and resurrection - a lasting impact to change the lives of others.

Even though I have been a Christian for a decade, I decided to attend a spiritual retreat called "Victory Weekend" a two-day seminar that outlines spiritual foundations as written in the bible. I admitted to myself that in those 10 years, my faith was all head knowledge and little application.

A retreat is not a magical journey, nor a supersize "zap!-zap!-zing!-zing!" encounter.

It signals the start of a renewed walk grounded in the message that Christ left us. My goal now is to embark on an everyday learning, acceptance, and of renewal of my mind - consistently turning away from poor choices and negative thoughts, and seeking wisdom from God. In practical terms, always asking the question "Is this the right and pleasing choice to God, or is not?" It is growing in a real relationship with Christ by reading His word, seeking Him daily, and allowing Him in every area of my life.

To grow each day and develop a character like His, that is what my renewed faith journey is about.

Jesus said to him, "Because you have seen Me, have you believed?

Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed." John 20:29

Sharing with you my favorite passage:

Jesus said, "I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. 10 "The thief (devil) comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have LIFE, and live it to the full." John 10:9