Aurora and I were sitting on our potties together (isn’t motherhood glamorous, hah) and she was babbling on about this and that and then she looked at me, reached out her hand and in her sweet little voice said, “aurora and mommy go together…mommy we’re friends,” and then smiled her pleased-with-herself-but-feeling-kinda-shy smile. And right there, sitting on the toilet I laughed and got teary eyed at the same time. Yes, baby we belong together, more than you’ll ever know. I can’t believe that I have the privilege and honor of being someone’s mother but it’s more than that…I feel so tremendously blessed that God specifically chose Aurora and Emery to be mine. As far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a mommy, I had baby dolls upon baby dolls. They slept in the pack in play next to my bed, I used baby carriers and strollers, remembered to change their diapers and give them milk. In school when the question was asked what you wanted to be when you grew up my answer was always a mom.

I was giddy with excitement when Patrick and I decided we’d like to add a baby to our family, what I didn’t expect was how that excitement would turn into defeat and pleas as month after month went by and still no little positive pregnancy test to show for it. In the grand scheme of things waiting a year was not a big deal (especially when many women wait sooo much longer and indefinitely) but my heart ached at the unknowns during that time. What a gift it is to look back on that time and know that God was just saying  “wait.” I felt that He was pleading with my heart to trust and wait on His perfect plan for my life. And I did wait, at times joyfully and at times with a stinky attitude because I didn’t have a choice. I’d like to think he was saying, “my love if you only knew the perfect little bundle I’m cooking up for you, she has eyes so deep you’ll get lost in them, she has her daddy’s energy and playful spirit and she has your empathetic and tender heart. You’ll love her so fiercely it will take your breath away…just…you…wait.”

And then just when I thought I couldn’t love anymore, God gave us Emery. Oh, my Emmy love. He didn’t make us wait very long for her and I was elated but also scared, but I trusted just as He prepared my heart to love Aurora He was doing the same thing for this sparkly blue eyed doll who would fill places of my heart that I didn’t know needed filling.

He was making us a family one at a time and all together.

Motherhood has opened my eyes to the way that God loves us as a Father, and given me just a taste of His perfect love for His children. I started to look at other people differently because they are His babies and I know how deeply I treasure mine, how much more does He treasure His!!! I can’t even imagine a love that big!

Motherhood is hard. It’s beautiful, full of passion and the fiercest love on earth. But it would be a mistake not to acknowledge that it’s hard. It’s daily giving over your love, your time, your energy, your dreams, your hopes all into these precious little beauties. Oh but the joys overflow. The sacrifices make those joys all the more sweeter.

To my mom who always had time to laugh and who has never stopped pouring herself into our lives, I see so much of you in myself as I raise my babies and it makes me smile. I love you and I now realize the depth of your love for me, you make my life so sweet –

happy mother’s day

To my husband’s mom who prayed for me since the time he was a young boy, thank you for pouring yourself into your son and raising him to be a man of faith, he is an amazing husband and father, all your hard work has sure paid off and I am reaping the benefits –

happy mother’s day

To my grandmas, my aunts, my sisters, my dearest friends you all are unique amazing women who have taught me that love comes in all shapes and sizes. You have all blessed me by pouring into my life and the lives of my children –

happy mother’s day

On my heart are also all the women who find this day bittersweet, women who are honoring their mothers but long so badly to be mothers themselves,  mother’s who are broken, mother’s who have lost, mother’s who are waiting. You’re on my heart –

happy mother’s day

To my children, Aurora and Emery and hopefully more to come, you are my joy… life’s sweetest gift.

Hey all, I’m blogging some tips & tricks over at The Mommarazzi School today, they’re a great company that is focused on helping parents improve their photography, check them out and leave me some love.

A tip you hear a lot from “momtographers” is to “get on their level,” but what does this actually look like and how can it help your photography…see the full post over at http://mommarazzischool.com/2013/05/seeing-eye-to-eye/

The first days light was slowly flooding the room. He held my hand tight. Tears poured down my face as I stole one last glace at him, the last time we’d be just the two of us. They told me one more push and then I would get to meet my daughter. Two years ago at 6:25 in the morning I became a momma. I pulled her precious little life out of me and onto my chest and it was the closest thing to Heaven this side of earth. I had never seen anything so beautiful and I have never been the same. I adored her as a newborn, cherished her as a one year old and treasure her even more as I watch her transform right before my very eyes into a kind, tender, independent, funny, smart, beautiful {I could go on and on} two year old. I feel like my heart might explode with love, with pride and with all the dreams I have for my precious girl. This day will always be bittersweet for me, as every parent knows, time goes much to fast and yet each day I fall even more head over heels with our little lady. I am so excited to see who she becomes, each day with her is such a gift. Happy birthday love bug. I love you more than life.

Hey friends,

Mommarazzi School, a great new company based out of San Diego, is  helping parents learn how to use their cameras and get great photos of their children. Guess what?!?! They asked me to be a blog contributor – I am so excited about this! Because of my girls I have fallen in love with capturing those ordinary daily moments and am so passionate about helping other parents do the same. I’ll be posting over there a few times a month giving you some tips/tricks to help you get better shots of your children. My welcome post is up today and it would mean the world to me if you headed over there and left a comment.

http://mommarazzischool.com/2013/04/a-contributors-welcome-jenni-barr-san-diego/

http://mommarazzischool.com/

It is so fun seeing the same families year after year, I’m always amazed by how fast these precious children grow.

This might be my favorite photo I’ve ever taken. Not because it’s perfect but because these little loves are mine.

As always you can check out You Are My Wild to see more daily photographs of my girls.

I love taking photos of my kids…photography has given me a way to freeze time, freeze interactions, freeze emotions and expressions, ones that would long forgotten with the passing of time if it weren’t for my images. I really want to expand and grow my lifestyle photography so I’ve started a little personal project mainly of my girls and motherhood if you’d like to follow along you can find it here.

Motherhood has brought more joy to my life than even my sweetest dreams could have imagined. One of my my favorite children’s books is You are My I Love You by Maryann K. Cusimano, my Aurora made me a momma almost two years ago and she has this spark and adventerous spirit, she truly is “my wild” and thus the name of my project.

Any comments/feedback would be wonderful as I focus more time and energy there and less on facebook.

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.”