Has anyone ever said that to you?

For a performance-based, people-pleaser like myself those words are painful, especially when they are told in love and they just happen to be true.

I had the privilege of sharing this leadership lesson on my dear friend Margaret Feinberg‘s blog.  You can hop over and read the rest of the story here.  By the way, you’ll love Margaret if you haven’t already met her.  She has got a great new book coming soon called Wonderstruck that you’re gonna want to check out – trust me on that! 

The same is true in many challenges that we face in life and as leaders.  The first part of anything worthwhile is most likely going to be difficult work and our faces may just show the toil we’re wrestling with.  While I’m not overly concerned about what others think of my ugly running face, I think as a leader it’s important for me to be aware of what I’m projecting to those I lead.

What is my countenance and attitude when I’m in a difficult project or season?

What do others see or perceive?

Do you have an ugly running face when you’re diligently working?  What do you do to lead well in the midst of your challenges?

“As long as we are working hard, using our gifts to serve others, experiencing joy in our work along with the toil, we are always in danger of believing that our actions trigger God’s love for us.  Only in stopping, really stopping, do we teach our hearts and souls that we are loved apart from what we do.”

Lynne Baab from Sabbath Keeping: Finding Freedom in the Rhythms of Rest

This grey issue of performance vs rest is one of my toughest battles.  I’m a driven achiever who constantly struggles with finding my identity in my work.

Unfortunately this is quite common for those of us who lead.  We carry a weight of responsibility for leading and guiding others that has an endless stream of things to do… work to be done.  And when you add a ministry context to that equation, the idea of ever stopping feels somehow like you’re shirking that responsibility when you choose to stop.

So, how do you stop?  How do you force yourself to break from the endless string of responsibility and trust in God’s faithfulness?

Cross Point Staff Value #5

Own It – we are serious about understanding our passion and purpose and living that out everyday.  Galatians 6:4-5

One of my greatest joys as a ministry leader is seeing the unique and diverse blend of people that God has brought to Cross Point.  I love it!  I love watching them all play their role and contribute to making the body of Christ operate.  Once on staff, however, there is this dangerous tendency for us to start limiting where and how we’ll serve.  We can easily drift to an attitude that we’ll only contribute if it’s part of our job description.

This staff value reminds us to “own it” – all of it.  God has given us a massive opportunity to be a part of this and we’re blessed to earn a paycheck in the process.

“Own it” means:

• Know who you are and how God has gifted you and bring it to the table EVERY DAY!
• Embrace the vision of Cross Point and pursue it with us in a radical way
• Take responsibility; if you see something that needs to be done, do it; don’t ever give into the complacent attitude that it’s “someone else’s job”
• Don’t settle; God has given us a massive opportunity and responsibility; don’t take it for granted

How are you owning the responsibility to steward the gifts, talents and uniquenesses that God has given you?  Own it!

Staff Value #4

Staff Value #3

Staff Value #2

Staff Value #1

Staff Value Overview

Here are some favorite things on my mind this week:

• I’m wrapping up book writing with a few edits and minor tweaks!  I can’t believe we’re this close to done.
• Tomorrow I’m planning to plant some flowers and spruce up my yard…. and lay by the pool.
• Love this post from Brad Lomenick “Are you a Leader or a Follower?”
• I’m overwhelmed (in a good way) by the responses to the coaching group.  I’ll be reviewing and praying through the applications over the next week.  Can’t wait to see the group that God assembles for this.
• Excited for this Sunday’s Chapter2 Pledge Celebration at Cross Point.  Excited for what God has in store for us!
• Love this talk from my friend Emily Hendrickson.  She is a dynamic young leader and communicator!

Happy Friday everyone!  Have a lovely weekend!

Today, what got my attention were the multiple times in Chapter 28 where David tells Solomon, ” Be strong and do the work.”

David doesn’t describe this cushy, lap of luxury type of leadership scenario.  He tells him be strong and get the job done!

When God calls us to something big, he isn’t calling us to something easy.

I think sometimes we can get lulled into believing that leadership is glamorous.  It’s not.  While leaders generally do live in the spotlight, it’s more like a bright fluorescent beacon illuminating all of our flaws and weaknesses rather than a soft, radiant, flattering glow.

David’s challenge to Solomon is a strong one: “Be strong and do the work”!

It will be tough.

It will be challenging.

It may be lonely.

It may be exhausting.

But He will be with you.

“Be strong and courageous, and do the work.  Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord God, my God, is with you.” v20

Are you facing something big that God has called you to?  Are you overwhelmed, tired or discouraged? 

I’m praying that God reminds you today that He is with you!

Here’s the original post with all the details:

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There is something really special and really valuable about getting to work out our leadership learnings with a small group of peers who find themselves wrestling with the challenges of daily life as a high capacity leader.  I’m looking for 6-12 women to join me for an 6-month leadership journey together.  We’ll meet 2 times for 2 days each face-to-face and we’ll add in some other times for connectivity in between.

This will require some commitment so I want to challenge you to pray about it and apply as God leads you to.  If you know a woman leader who you think may benefit from something like this, please pass this along.

All the details:

What: Coaching Group for Women in Ministry & Non-profit Leadership
When: October 2012-March 2013
Facilitated by: Jenni Catron

Who:

• Women who serve in a high level leadership role in a church or ministry-related non-profit organization
• Leaders who are in a season of challenging growth or transition that would benefit from the intensive discussion of a small, focused group
• Leaders who are committed to the hard work of personal development that will result in growth for yourself and those you lead
• Leaders who are willing to make the time and financial commitment

What you get:

• Four days of coaching sessions in Nashville, TN
• Special guests for relevant topics
• The opportunity for transparent and honest discussion with other women who think and lead like you
• Focused attention on your key issues or challenges and a committed group to share that growth journey with you
• Two one-on-one coaching calls with me
• A free copy of my upcoming book for women in leadership (you’ll be the first to get a copy )
• Electronic files of all coaching notes and supporting documents
• Additional books and curriculum

What you invest:

• Commit to participate in 2 face-to-face coaching sessions in Nashville, TN
• $750 per person (includes all materials and books, lunch on training days, special guest costs and more) + travel expenses
• Time to prepare and participate fully

A few more details:
You are responsible for your travel and lodging however we’ll get you info on hotel rates and help carpool as much as possible
Dates of coaching sessions in Nashville: Oct 25-26, 2012 & March 21-22, 2013

Ok, I think that about covers it.  I’m praying specifically for those of you who will be a part of this group.  I love encouraging and investing in other leaders and I can’t wait to start this journey!

You can download the application here.  Application deadline is May 15, 2012.

Today it’s time to continue our staff values series…

Cross Point Staff Value #4

Believe the Best – we are intentional about protecting our relationships with one another.

This is one of my favorite staff values and also one of the most difficult ones.  The relational health of a team will make or break an organization, and rest assured the enemy is looking for ways to sever the trust and unity of a strong team.

Let me share a story with you of ‘believe the best’ in action within our team:

Recently a staff person was bragging about me in front of some of the other team members.  I was a little uncomfortable with the attention, so out of my insecurity I deflected the attention and inadvertently made fun of something that that staff member was involved in.  After I’d regrouped and quit focusing so much on myself I realized what I had done and felt horrible!  I immediately went to this staff member and apologized for demeaning something he was a part of while he was praising me!  What a double whammy!

Do you know what his response was?

“Oh, I never even took it that way!”

He believed the best of me.  It didn’t even cross his mind to take my comment offensively!  What a gift.  While my intention was never to offend him, the way I said what I said could have.  It would have been really easy for him to jump to that conclusion and take offense.  But it never even crossed his mind!  He believed the best.

Believing the best is choosing to believe what is most true about one another.  Essentially we’ve challenged each other to not jump to wrong conclusions, but to extend the benefit of the doubt and give grace for moments of misunderstanding or gaps of information.

Believing the best does not mean ignoring sin or avoiding healthy Matthew 18 confrontation.  It just means extending grace and God-honoring love.

^“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” I Corinthians 13:4-7

It is an incredible gift when someone truly believes the best about you.  I’m always blown away by it when it happens.

Have you ever had someone believe the best in you even when you didn’t deserve it?

Staff Value #3

Staff Value #2

Staff Value #1

Staff Value Overview

In my time with them, I shared the story of Deborah from Judges 4.  God has been challenging me with this passage for quite some time and the more I study it the more I’m challenged by the leadership that Deborah displays.

Let me set the stage for you:

• Deborah is prophet, priest & Judge of Israel
• Israel has been oppressed by the Canaanites for 20 years; likely most of Deborah’s life
• In verse 4 Deborah is going about her business as judge settling disputes
• Somewhere between verse 5 & 6, God speaks to Deborah and in verse 6 she sends for Barak, the leader of the Israelite army and tells him that God commands him to go get 10,000 men and go to battled with the Canaanites
• The crazy part about that is that upon further study, historians believe that the Israelites had no weapons.  The Canaanites had stripped them of all of their weapons, so this was a massive test of faith for Deborah, Barak & the army of 10,000.  Essentially they had no resources with which to get the job done!

What strikes me about this story is how confident Deborah was in what God told her to do. Verse 6 says:

She sent for Barak song of Abinoam from Kedesh in Naphtali and said to him, “The Lord, the God of Israel, commands you: ‘Go, take with you ten thousand men of Naphtali and Zebulun and lead the way to Mount Tabor.  I will lure Sisera, the commander of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his troops to the Kishon River and give him into your hands.’”

Even later as they are about to go to battle (v 14), she reminds Barak of what God promised by saying:

“Go! This is the day the Lord has given Sisera into your hands.  Has not the Lord gone before you?”

I love that!  Even in the heat of the moment.  Even when doubt could have totally wrecked her, she reminds Barak (and herself) of God’s promise.

Here’s what I think makes Deborah’s story so powerful:

• She knew God’s voice so well that when she cast vision for what she believed God had commanded them to do, she didn’t show a hint of doubt or hesitation
• She was obedient to what God called her to do

I don’t know about you, but being confident that I have heard God’s voice – especially in the big decisions as a leader – is one of the most difficult things for me to discern with certainty.  I tend to qualify my statements with things like, “I think God is telling me” or “I believe this is what God is asking”.   But Deborah’s example is one of assurance and confidence.

Not only did God deliver Sisera and the Canaanites into the Israelites hands as He promised, but the Israelites experienced freedom for 40 years!  It’s unlikely that Deborah had any idea of how significant her faith and obedience would be.

What is God calling you to lead through that scares the pants off of you?  Are you shrinking back from uncertainty or are you boldly and confidently moving forward?

Has not the Lord gone before you?

My morning runs are set within the lush and hilly landscape here in Franklin, TN.  These runs have some pretty intense hills so it always challenges me mentally and physically.  Some of these hills can be daunting and I’ve learned a few ways to lean in and approach them with the drive and intensity necessary to push through.

I’ve noticed something lately though… once I crest a hill and have a moment to catch my breath, I don’t actually enjoy the downhill.  I just start fixating on the next hill.  I move right into the dread of the next one that’s coming.

Why is it that I can’t enjoy the down? Why do I go directly to the next daunting challenge without taking a moment to stop and enjoy the moment to catch my breath?

I do this in many aspects of my life.   I keep my head down and aggressively tackle the big projects in front of me, but when I crest the hill I don’t usually take the time to enjoy the relief of the down slope.  Instead I begin to fixate on the next big challenge ahead.

That perspective can get exhausting!

In life and as leaders, we have to enjoy the few moments of “down”.  In our driven and purposefulness we can get really overwhelmed by the repeated hills ahead of us and easily miss the moments to breath.  We’ve got to enjoy the opportunity to catch our breath as much as we agonize and toil over the up.

Do you find yourself always fixating on the uphill?  How can you better enjoy the ups and the downs?