pastor jenny

"christianity should not be hard"

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:08:00 +0000

"Christianity should not be hard."

My very pregnant self had found a comfy spot on our couch early this morning in an effort to get a couple extra minutes of sleep when I heard these words above. Joyce Meyer was preaching and teaching on living a simple life. Context speaks volumes about what a sentence means so it's not really fair to pull this one sentence out.

But it's so unequivocally false.

Following Christ is difficult. Especially when I'm called to die to my selfish-me-first desires. And not just once in my life, but every moment of every day. Because they have a way of creeping back in. It's difficult when I'd prefer to worship security and safety instead of taking a scary risk to be in relationship with people unlike me. It's difficult when I'd rather lull myself into the wonderful notion that I've got the Christian life figured out instead of letting God into the deepest, darkest places of myself where I still call the shots.

Christianity is hard.

But like most things with Jesus, it holds that difficulty in tension with this profound, amazing and beautiful call to love and serve others. And that's where the real life is. Yes it may be difficult. Other times it's surprisingly easy and simple.

Let us acknowledge our journey with Christ is difficult and one of great joy. Because then we can truly welcome God into our lives in ways that will forever change us.

holiness wrapped in humanity

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 19:32:00 +0000

A couple years ago, a friend told me about a book she was really enjoying. It brought the Bible to life in a way she hadn't experienced before. It's called Story by Steven James. Looks like it's $3 from Amazon right now. I highly recommend it. As Advent begins, here's an excerpt on the nature of Jesus.

I used to think I knew Jesus because I knew about him. But knowing someone's resume and being someone's brother are two completely different things. I found that out after I met Jesus for myself.

If you can make sense of Jesus, explain him, define him, or make him sound reasonable, my guess is you've never actually met him. After all, his closest friends didn't understand him, the religious rulers thought he was possessed by demons, and his own family thought he'd gone insane. No one knew what to make of this man of mystery. I guess that's what happens when God dresses in skin, when heaven's wisdom speaks human words.

The greatest mystery of Christianity isn't that God loves us; nearly every religion would tell you that much. The greatest mystery is that God actually became one of us.

He is the mystic, majestic, mysterious Jesus. Holiness wrapped in humanity. He sneezed, coughed, yawned, burped, and got the hiccups, and yet he would walk on water, step through walls, and raise the dead.

James then goes on to share this poem...

i don't name you, you name me.
i don't understand you, you understand me.
and the paradox of this love is that you uncover me as you unveil yourself.

the mystery of this discovery swallows all of who i am.
that's the essence of faith.
if i could understand faith it would cease to be faith.
i only know the mystery
because the mystery knows me.

best sermon ever.

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:51:00 +0000

I love Jesus. He's a great combination of straight-to-the-point and let-me-tell-you-a-story-so-you-can-figure-this-out kind of guy. There seem to be black and white moments and then situations where the kingdom of God has a million layers and nuances to it. I just read Luke 4:16-20 (CEB) for my missional wisdom class and felt like I was there.

Imagine sitting in the synagogue. You've heard about this guy who's healing people and working miracles in the area. The leader hands him the scroll. Jesus doesn't launch into a long sermon with lots of points. Instead...

¹⁶ Jesus went to Nazareth, where he had been raised. On the Sabbath he went to the synagogue as he normally did and stood up to read. ¹⁷ The synagogue assistant gave him the scroll from the prophet Isaiah. He unrolled the scroll and found the place where it was written:

¹⁸ The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me. He has sent me to preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed, ¹⁹ and to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.

²⁰ He rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the synagogue assistant, and sat down. Every eye in the synagogue was fixed on him.

I can feel the tension, surprise & wonder in the room.

Best sermon ever.

people pleaser?

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 17:31:00 +0000

I'm a recovering people pleaser.

It used to be a big part of my identity. I would do just about anything to make someone happy with me. I craved their approval and admiration. I took criticism personally. It was built so deeply into who I was that it wasn't really a conscious act. It was a reflex.

But the more time I spend reading about the life of Christ, Paul and others, I feel the Holy Spirit shaping me in a more healthy way. As I let the stories from these pages become part of my life, I find the desire to please people diminishing. Sure I love happy people and if I can share love, that's great. But if I feel God nudging me to say or do something that may not be popular, that's okay.

People's approval is conditional. It changes and morphs. We'll never make everyone happy at one time. So forge ahead seeking to please the only One who's opinion really matters.

Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. - Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Wandering between wonder & routine

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 22:18:00 +0000

O Eternal One, it would be easier for me to pray
if I were clear
and of a single mind and a pure heart;
if I could be done hiding from myself
and from you, even in my prayers.
But, I am who I am,
mixture of motives and excuses,
blur of memories,
quiver of hopes,
knot of fear,
tangle of confusion,
and restless with love, for love.
I wander somewhere between
gratitude and grievance,
wonder and routine,
high resolve and undone dreams,
generous impulses and unpaid bills.
Come, find me, Lord.
Be with me exactly as I am.
Help me find me, Lord.
Help me accept what I am,
so I can begin to be yours.
Make of me something small enough to snuggle,
young enough to question,
simple enough to giggle,
old enough to forget,
foolish enough to act for peace;
skeptical enough to doubt
the sufficiency of anything but you,
and attentive enough to listen
as you call me out of the tomb of my timidity
into the chancy glory of my possibilities
and the power of your presence.
Amen.

- Ted Loder, "Guerillas of Grace"

battery exhausted

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 18:06:00 +0000

I watched the sun rise over the mountains this morning from my office window. A light fog settled into the base of the mountains while the sun brought the fall leaves to life. The mountain tops are preparing for winter as the snow slowly creeps downward into town. I grabbed my camera and snapped a picture. I was about to take another picture when I looked down and saw this:

Does this describe you?

I'm entering my third trimester of pregnancy and I'm pretty tired. I take my days off and really enjoy the downtime. I put work aside in the evenings and enjoy time with my husband, family & friends. I take naps, exercise and drink lots of water. Life is pretty balanced which is an often difficult goal for pastors.

But I know that fatigue is part of my new normal. Or so I've been told but lots of parents. :)

It's part of the journey. And I'm entering into it with joy and awareness. I'm going to be tired. My battery will feel like its died. But that doesn't give me an excuse to be miserable, negative or short-tempered. If I continue to mourn my lost energy, brain power and changing body, then I'll miss the grace and gift of helping to create a child. I accept this part of my journey. And my prayer will be what I so often pray: "God, only on your strength does all this happen."

Here's to the last 12 weeks or so!

If you find yourself in a new season of life, I encourage you to spend some time in reflection and prayer. Where is God meeting you in new ways? What do you need to let go of so you can be available to God and others?

how big is your delete button?

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 19 Sep 2011 23:41:00 +0000

As my husband and I get our nursery ready for our baby girl, we decided it was time to move our home office downstairs. So right now I'm sitting in my new space working away on a couple things. I pulled out the keyboard and started typing something up. I went to delete a couple words in a document and realized something unsettling.

The backspace button is tiny. Minuscule. It's too small.

After working for the past hour on this keyboard, I'm now aware how often I use the backspace button. I type a couple sentences, make a mistake and back up a couple words. I misspell words so I promptly hit backspace, make the correction and move on.

There's something exciting happening in the local church regarding delete buttons. Before, when trying something new, I used to feel this pressure to get everything right the first time. It was a reflection on my leadership and ability. My default mode is perfectionism. I took mistakes personally. My work defined my worth.

But I feel God changing my perspective on failure. We're in a new season of what the local church looks like. Some of the ways of "being church" that worked in the past, aren't as effective anymore. We're trying lots of new things to see what connects people to God and what isn't helpful.

Are we willing to see failure as a sign of a step in the right direction? I would rather fail spectacularly at a new idea or ministry because at least we're trying something. If we simply copy and paste every idea from the past, we don't have to depend much on the Holy Spirit's direction. That's actually the number one lesson I'm learning from trying new things. I'm much more in tune with the Holy Spirit because I don't have any other guide, curriculum or plan to follow.

I imagine God giving the church a pretty big backspace button right now. Be willing to fail. Then you might actually try the thing you've always wanted to try.

wrong side of the boat

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 16:36:00 +0000

Check out John 21:1-14.

This story comes after Jesus has died and resurrected. He's appeared to his disciples but this time they don't recognize him at first. The disciples are out fishing and don't catch a thing. I imagine they're frustrated and tired. From the shore, Jesus tells them to try the other side of the boat. They end up hauling in 153 fish in their nets.

God is all about abundance. Abundant love, life, grace, joy. God doesn't want to give us just enough life to "get by." Or enough love to "merely survive."

Jesus: I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of (John 10:10, Message).

I need this reminder every week. My default setting is scarcity. There's not enough time or money. Not enough people to serve in the nursery, youth ministry or help with Kid Jam.

My eyes are focused on the wrong side of the boat.

Some days I get it right. My heart is in the right place and I see the abundance of people, resources, dreams and ideas. It's exciting to think about and then see the kind of difference we can make in our community. But when my energy runs low and frustration grows, I need this story.

How do you focus on scarcity in your life instead of abundance?

when someone disagrees with you

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 22:56:00 +0000

Our UAA leadership team will soon begin studying Henri Nouwen's "In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership." Since we're a community of people from different denominations and faith backgrounds, we will face conversations where we don't agree. We're making it a point to talk now about how we'll handle those moments. Will we get frustrated? Walk away from the conversation? Talk about people behind their backs? Or will we take a path that more accurately reflects Christ?

Nouwen writes:

I have the impression that many of the debates within the church around issues take place on a primarily moral level. On that level, different parties battle about right or wrong. But the battle is often removed from the experience of God's first love, which lies at the base of all human relationships...

Dealing with burning issues without being rooted in a deep personal relationship with God easily leads to divisiveness because, before we know it, our sense of self is caught up in our opinion about a given subject. But when we are securely rooted in personal intimacy with the source of life, it will be possible to remain flexible without being relativistic, convinced without being rigid, willing to confront without being offensive, gentle and forgiving without being soft, and true witnesses without being manipulative.

What's your gut reaction when someone disagrees with you? When we reconnect with the source of all life, it gets a little easier to react from a place of peace and security. I don't need to feel threatened by the person who's opinion differs from mine. But I do need to find a way to respond from a gracious and securely rooted place deep in God's love.

Very possible...just difficult.

God is as close as your next breath

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 17:17:00 +0000

I needed this reminder today. Maybe you do too.

God is as close as our next breath. God is spirit...breath...wind...

Take 5 minutes today and set everything aside. Walk outside. Hide in the bathroom. Sit in your car. Close your office door. Breathe in slowly. Breathe out slowly. Feel each breath. God is as close as your breath...ready to offer guidance, presence, healing, peace.

I drove a different way to work and stopped by Cheney Lake for 5 minutes.
Our time with God is always worth it.
Why does it so often fall to the bottom of our to do list?

do you have a rule of life?

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 23:37:00 +0000

A church I recently served had a spiritual director we could see whenever needed. It was a great gift. We could sign up for a time slot and she would welcome us in to a quiet space at our church. She would ask questions, listen and offer direction, often in the form of more questions. One day, she handed me a piece of paper with the title "Rule of Life" at the top. It had a list of things she committed to doing each day. Prayer, serving others, space to be quiet, hospitality in her home, etc.

To be honest, it was equally impressive and terrifying.

I admired her dedication and consistency. But it seemed so far from anything I could actually accomplish on a consistent basis. I felt like it set me up for failure. I stuck the paper on our bulletin board in the kitchen at home, hoping I would be inspired. But after a couple months, I threw it away.

Then one of my seminary professors talked about a rule of life. Again, it seemed like a great idea but not actually possible. So I brushed it off again.

I guess the third time really is a charm because I encountered another person talking about the rule of life last year. This time, I came to understand it in a different way.

In my opinion, we all have a rule of life. It's the unspoken rules that we live by every day. We've set them up for ourselves somewhere along the way. In the Christian faith, a intentional rule of life that we create ourselves is our spiritual game plan...the things we want to prioritize...the ways we want to spend our time. And by writing it down and even sharing it with others gives us a framework and accountability. By writing your rule of life down on little cards around your house, in your wallet, on your computer, in your car, meeting with people to share and encourage...you're more aware and intentional.

I'm beside myself with excitement to be a part of UAA's new campus Christian community. We have a leadership team of students and we've created a rule of life together. We meet twice a month for an hour each time to share how we're doing at following this framework. Then we discuss events, planning, logistics, etc. But our favorite time is the encouragement, sharing and prayer that comes from actually wanting to follow Jesus more deeply in our lives.

You can see our rule of life here. We've adapted it from the United Methodist Church's membership vows of prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness.

Remember...we all have a rule of life. If you want to be more intentional about yours, write it down, share it with others and ask God for grace and insight as you become a more faithful disciple.

transformation & unlearning

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 22:08:00 +0000

"Transformation is often more about unlearning than learning."

I saw this on a friend's Facebook page yesterday and it's been running through my mind ever since. Do you agree? Disagree?

I find I naturally think of transformation happening when I've added something to my life. When I began a new positive behavior...when a new person came into my life...when I spent time with God. I saw those as additions and new learnings.

Transformation is about change. And Lord knows I've experienced a lot of change from unlearning bad habits and pulling myself out of some deep ruts. There have been choices and ways of being that honestly were sinful. They distracted and distanced me from God.

I appreciate the nudge to view transformation as both an unlearning and a learning. I don't want to be so quick to run from the awkwardness of facing something I need to unlearn. Because it could lead to a kind of transformation I'm longing for.

puzzle pieces

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:40:00 +0000

Michael Burke, rector at St. Mary's Episcopal, gave me some good advice today. We were talking about navigating and making decisions when working on a completely new project. There's no real design to work from.

"We're basically working with a bunch of puzzle pieces. Get them all out on the table. Move them around. See how things work together. Discern your next step from there."

Usually when I do a puzzle, I have the lid to look at. I can get a pretty good idea of where things go.

With this campus ministry at UAA, there's not much of a lid. We've got pieces of what other schools have tried, what New Day is trying in Dallas and the Holy Spirit.

This is the nature of ministry in our country right now. Many things that worked in the past don't work anymore. We should be trying new things. Problem is we don't have lids for those puzzles. And if we're not intentional, our new efforts end up looking a lot like our old puzzles.

So we move forward, embracing the tension and awkwardness of puzzle arranging, while trusting God to reveal a little more of the puzzle lid when the time is right.

a new adventure

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 17:41:00 +0000

It's been awesome to watch the new campus ministry at University of Alaska-Anchorage unfold. Every conversation reveals another couple feet of the path we're on. We're comfortable not knowing exactly where we're going. I've rarely experienced so much joy at not knowing the outcome!

Aaron and I are beginning a new adventure where I'm seeking a similar goal. We get to welcome our first child into the world this January! We're officially due January 3, 2012. I'm at 15 weeks today. The every day nausea is easing up, I'm starting to show a bit and my energy is returning. We announced it at our churches and on Facebook this past Sunday. What a joy to have people from different parts of our lives express their excitement. I'm also excited my loved ones get to become aunts, uncles, grandparents & great-grandparents for the first time!

I haven't spent a lot of time with young children in my life. I don't know a lot about diapers, car seats or baby food. But I'm okay with that. Aaron and I will figure it out. We've got lots of people to help us. Every experience, book and conversation reveals a little more of the new path we're on.

Here's to not needing to know every detail and rejoicing in the beauty of the present moment!

first year in the books!

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 01:18:00 +0000

I started my second appointment year as a pastor in the United Methodist Church yesterday. It feels appropriate to mark the moment. Got me thinking about what I've learned in my first year of full-time ministry.

Teamwork is worth it
I'm so blessed to have spent my first year with a supportive and dynamic senior pastor and a wonderful office administrator. We enjoy checking in on each other, bouncing ideas around, laughing, asking the hard questions and doing our best to make a difference in the kingdom of God. I couldn't have asked for a better first year environment to learn and grow as a pastor.

We are all missionaries
I may be serving in an official missionary conference but in today's culture, we are all missionaries. It took me about seven months here before I realized this. Things that worked in Ohio didn't work here. Some of the language I used to describe God and faith didn't always make sense. It was a freeing and exciting once I realized I couldn't assume anything. All I could do was meet people where they were.

Pace of ministry
I still don't know quite how to describe it but ministry in the context of Alaska has enabled me to experience a rhythm with God that is life-changing. In previous contexts, I felt the anxious pace to grow ministries, make a difference and love people. It's not really a bad thing. But it was the pace that was slowly killing me. I knew I couldn't keep it up. At least not in the same way that I was.

I can see now that I have so much still to learn. This year I'm learning that when I trust the Holy Spirit, I can still work really hard but it doesn't produce anxiety. There's also great freedom in turning my brain off from ministry tasks. I don't ever disconnect from God (at least I try not to!), but I am able to turn my ministry brain off when it's time to simply be and enjoy life. God didn't create us to be human doings, God created us to be human beings. I consider this a priority as I draw closer to God and others.

Predictability
Most of us want some level of predictability. To know what's coming. To be prepared. There are some seasons of ministry that I can schedule, organize and arrange. I love getting up in the morning and knowing what's on my agenda. But I came to also appreciate the phone calls, emails and visits that threw the day completely off. It was a great reminder that God calls deeply to me when I'm out of my routine.

UMC Connection
As a pastor's kid, I've had a unique vantage point of the United Methodist connection. There's this actual organization and Spirit-led connection between all United Methodist churches, pastors and laity. We know we're not in this alone. I felt the connection in such a tangible way this past year. My UM church in Ohio helped raise funds for a new campus ministry at UAA in Anchorage. I emailed with colleagues in Alaska about ideas and joint projects. I had a lunch group in town that met twice a month. I loved traveling to Juneau, Ketchikan and Sitka in April to get footage for a conference video project. Since we're pretty spread out in Alaska, we're almost forced to reach out to each other and I love it. When I think of a project for my local churches, I almost immediately wonder if we could partner up with a nearby church or borrow curriculum from someone across the state. What a gift our connection has been this year.

Pastoral Identity
I can tell it will take me awhile to fully accept the role of pastor. This year it has meant wearing a robe when it felt kind of awkward. I'm still so new to this. It meant blessing skunks and dogs, baptizing an infant, praying at a funeral and smiling as I pronounced a couple husband and wife. It also meant I was usually called on to pray if I was in the room. I struggled with this at first. I feel it's one of my roles as pastor to coach and empower all people to explore their relationship with God and become more comfortable talking and listening with God. So yes, I've had lots of practice and deeply enjoy communicating with God but I get great joy listening to the prayers of all ages. I don't mind so much anymore being asked to pray. I understand people expect that from their pastor. But I will continue to encourage others to work on their communication with God as well.

I'm sure there was more. But that's all I've got for now. :) Here's to a fantastic first year full of lessons and joy. I'm still so thankful to have felt called to this profession. I imagine I'll continue to learn what it means for the rest of my life. Here's to a great second year!

An addiction I need to break

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 23:02:00 +0000

I have an addiction that it's time to confess. It captures my attention all day long. It keeps me from other things that are more important. I rationalize that it's part of my job (and it is!) but it still takes up a sinful amount of my time.

Checking email.

I sometimes watch myself in moments of "boredom"...which are actually margins for me to breathe, yet I constantly reach for my phone to check email, Facebook, send a text or play games. Constantly.

A friend told me about a new website called LoopChange. You choose a habit you want to change and commit to try for 21 days. You receive encouragement from others in the online community and write updates of your progress.

I started a mission on the site today to see if I can begin checking my email less. I will start by not checking until I arrive at work, once during my lunch break and once in the evening. I use email a great deal for work so I'll decide later if I need to decrease during my work hours.

I'm interested to see how this online community may help me live a healthier, more God-honoring life. Because when I have fewer pointless distractions, I'm more aware of God and how I can serve others.

Do you have a behavior you want to change? Check out LoopChange.

leadership lessons at camp

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 18:17:00 +0000

There are experiences in our lives where we are fully aware that we're learning some big lessons and it's going to make a change in who we are. I had one of those last week at Birchwood Camp.

I got to serve as the dean of our 4-6th grade camp for the week. It was extra meaningful for me since this was the first camp I attended in Alaska as a 9 year old almost twenty years ago. I had a staff of 17 counselors which included 6 summer interns, 7 counselors from my last church in Ohio and 4 local counselors. I learned some important things last week...

Trusting the Holy Spirit & the gifts in someone else
I quickly realized how capable the counselors were going to be. I inherently trusted them. I trusted the presence of the Holy Spirit in these people. I knew God could use them to love campers. It didn't have to be me doing it all. There have been times earlier in my ministry where I didn't always trust God in the people around me. I still felt the need to do things my way, which to me, is a sign of immaturity and childishness.

But it's an amazing feeling to truly believe the gifts in other people will get the job done. What a freeing feeling! I think this one piece influenced the rest of the week because I was relaxed, flexible and adaptive to needs as they arose.

I still need to work on coaching when things could have gone better. I have difficulty finding the words for that sometimes.

I continue to learn the dirty little secret of leadership. Most people get into a field because they love getting their hands dirty and getting involved. But as the organization grows, leaders must emerge to lead others. That usually means you get removed from the day to day activities that you fell in love with in the first place. I didn't like this lesson the first time I learned it. It didn't seem fair.

Now I understand more and more how joyful it can be to watch others succeed.

Leaders let others lead.

Here's a video from our week at camp...enjoy!

when the box breaks

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 21:12:00 +0000

Oprah and God

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Thu, 26 May 2011 23:30:00 +0000

Oprah has been criticized in the past for her religious beliefs or lack there of. Some feel her followers worship her in an unhealthy way. We live in a culture of celebrity that lifts up people as objects to be adored. But regardless of how you feel about Oprah, we must acknowledge her love of education and how often she put legs to that love. Thousands of students got a college degree because of her generosity. School libraries and facilities got upgrades because of her love for reading. I'm thankful Oprah had the platform she did for 25 years. She gave a voice to issues in our country that needed it.

She said something in her finale show that caught my attention. As a pastor, I want to help people find language to describe their experiences of God and faith. Sometimes we're too quick to discount another's experience because it doesn't sound or look like ours. She may not always have talked about God and Jesus the way "churchy" people do but it doesn't mean she wasn't experiencing the same God we all worship.

I know I've never been alone. And you haven't either. And I know that presence, that flow, some people call it grace...is working in my life at every single turn. And yours too, if you let it in. It's closer than your breath and it is yours for the asking...I felt the presence of God my whole life, even when I didn't have a name for it. I could feel a voice bigger than myself speaking to me and all of us have that same voice. Be still and know it. You can acknowledge it or not. You can worship it or not. You can praise it. Your can ignore it. Or you can know it.

wrap your arms around the moment

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Fri, 20 May 2011 16:27:00 +0000

From the Book of Common prayer today:

Twentieth-century Presbyterian theologian and writer Frederick Buechner has written, "Who knows how the awareness of God's love first hits people? Every person has his own tale to tell, including the person who would not believe in God if you paid him. Some moment happens in your life that makes you say Yes right up to the roots of your hair, that makes it worth having been born just to have happen. Laughing with somebody till the tears run down your cheeks. Waking up to the first snow. Being in bed with somebody you love.

Whether you thank God for such a moment or thank your lucky stars, it is a moment that is trying to open to your whole life. If you try to turn your back on such a moment and hurry along to Business as Usual, it may lose you the whole ball game. If you throw your arms around such a moment and hug it like crazy, it may save your soul. How about the person you know who as far as you can possibly tell has never had such a moment? Maybe for that person the moment that has to happen is you."

Give us grace to be present to those moments, Lord, when your love is real enough to taste. Amen.

we have this dream...

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 02 May 2011 22:20:00 +0000

I serve two pretty great churches in Anchorage, Alaska right now. Wonderful people in all seasons of life - doing their best to love God and all people. And we have this dream...

Small communities of 15-20 college students. Making dinner together each week. Reading scripture, exploring their faith, listening, singing, laughing. Led by college students who take turns offering their insight. Supported by a local pastor. Held in a welcoming home in different neighborhoods.

Each student community has an anchor church. A local church who wants to love college students where they are. A church who knows the end goal isn't getting students into the building, but leaving the building to spend time with students in the community. A church who will be supportive and encouraging as students experience the highs and lows of getting a degree.

A lead team of students meet with a pastor twice a month to explore what it means to be a follower of Jesus. They dig deep to challenge and encourage each other. The lead team follows a rule of life together. They covenant to pray, be present, serve and offer their gifts and talents to God and the community. The lead team doesn't try to fix each other. We simply journey together.

Students engage with their neighborhood together. They tutor children at a local school, wash cars, shovel snow, pick up trash, give food to their friends, throw block parties for neighborhood kids. Whatever gifts God has given, students use them to show God's love.

Students helping students follow Jesus at the University of Alaska-Anchorage.

14,000 students attend the Anchorage campus. There are two active campus ministries. We feel God calling, pushing, prodding us to be in relationship with college students as we seek to embody the love of Jesus.

If this is an adventure you'd like to help make a reality, would you prayerfully consider making a financial gift? It all goes to my salary as I seek to be a facilitator that keeps connections going between University of Alaska-Anchorage staff, students and anchor churches. Any amount will be very helpful. Seriously. $10 would be awesome. :)

We also would love your prayers as we take a big step of faith.

Inspired by New Day Dallas (www.newdaydallas.org)
Administratively Hosted by Anchor Park UMC (www.anchorpark.org)
In Partnership with East Anchorage UMC, Anchor Park UMC, Central Lutheran, St. Mary's Episcopal, St. John UMC and Trinity Presbyterian
Part of the New Day Alaska network, a ministry of the Alaska United Methodist Conference (www.alaskaumc.org)

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loving our family

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 05:40:00 +0000

I had one of those evenings tonight that I fell in love with the people I love all over again. I enjoy spending time in person or on the phone/Skype/Facebook with our families. I was born into one family and married into the other and I love these people.

But we usually see family members in certain situations - meals, vacations, on the weekends. Tonight I got to watch my little brother and mom in their element. My mom has worked her butt off on an awesome exercise and nutrition program for children, teens and parents. I went tonight to shoot a video to help get the word out. I can't wait to share the video with you! My brother, who graduates this Sunday from UAA(!), led the game portion for elementary kids. He seems to really love kids and helping them be active in a fun way.

My dad recently got to see my sister teaching her kids in Idaho and was really impressed. I love listening to my dad and my father-in-law preach. I love embarrassing my husband by visiting him at work and seeing how much he enjoys working on computers. I love visiting my other brother at work and learning about BP.

Anyways, there's just something great about seeing the people you love doing the thing they love.

distractions

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:38:00 +0000

Our 40 day period of fasting and focus ended this weekend. Aaron and I didn't watch TV shows during Lent. I appreciated the quiet and time to focus on other things. This morning I woke up and decided to turn on the Today Show to see what it was like to watch TV again in the morning. I proceeded to watch 30 minutes on Libya and the royal wedding this upcoming weekend. I ate some breakfast, got ready for work and headed out the door.

I was halfway to work before it hit me. I didn't spend time with God. I'd gotten in a great rhythm of spending about 15-20 minutes in prayer, reading and reflection each morning. I've felt more centered and focused the past 40 days than I have in a while.

That 30 minutes of TV completely distracted me from other things that were important to me. TV is not bad. But it can be a distraction.

I got to work and enjoyed the Common Prayer reading for today: Turn my eyes from watching what is worthless: give me life in your ways (based on Psalm 119:37).

What distracts you from more important things?

the sweetest sound

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 01:40:00 +0000

Being a 28 year old clergy person in the United Methodist Church, I get my fair share of age-related comments.

"You seem so young." "You could be my grandchild."

And usually I don't mind. I know there will be a day I'll miss being 28.

But as my first year of my first appointment comes to a close, there is one thing I mind. I wish my friends in their older years knew how much I want to be in ministry with them. I don't want to do ministry for them. I want to be inspired by the dreams and faith of my friends, even as they see their friends die. I want to serve our community alongside my friends, even as they feel their bodies falling apart. I want to know this journey with God has been worth it, even as they lose their independence.

Yes, there's much I don't know about what it feels like to grow old. I don't know the feelings and life experiences of this season of life. I hope I get to live long enough to learn.

I read Paul's words in Philippians last week: "As long as I'm alive in this body, there is good work for me to do." I love that! I think of my three living grandparents and all they do in service to others and I'm inspired. Here's my grandpa in action.

This morning I heard the sweetest sound. We had a time of prayer to recommit ourselves to this journey with God and all the sudden I heard the sounds of a person and their walker coming to the altar area. Most beautiful sound I've heard in a while.

Thank you to my friends who inspire me with their faith, love and compassion. I hear of the things you do in our community and I'm proud to be one of your pastors. I look forward to even greater adventures together!

how to get closer to God

noreply@blogger.com (jenny) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 22:25:00 +0000

"I want to work on my relationship with God. I feel distant. How can I get closer to God?"

A couple thoughts. Our modern, linear minds desperately want clear and concise steps on how to do something. We don't handle mystery very well. It doesn't sit well with our souls. Can you honestly answer some questions with, "I don't know," and feel at peace with that? It's possible but it's difficult.

So as much as I want to give you clear easy steps and a formula to follow to guarantee an experience of God, I just can't do that. But writers of the Bible were pretty clear on some steps we can take to start the process.

Check out James 4 in the Message version.

...Where do these quarrels come from? ... You want your own way & fight for it deep inside yourselves...If all you want is your own way, you end up enemies of God...What God gives in love is far better than anything else you'll find...Let God work his will in you...Yell a loud no to the devil...Say a quiet yes to God...Quit dabbling in sin...Purify your inner life...Quit playing the field.

Hit bottom and cry your eyes out...Get serious, really serious.

Something else.

Think about a significant relationship in your life. A spouse, best friend, child, parent. This person means a lot to you. If you're wanting to get closer to God, think about how you grow other relationships.

Take the time. When we want to get to know someone, we set aside time. We take a trip. We say no to other things so we can set aside time for them. We do our best to focus on them. Not our cell phone, TV or to-do list. Show them it's a priority to you. Show God you have that desire and you're well on your way. *I see time as the biggest reason we don't get close to God. We want to. We really do. But not bad enough to rearrange our schedule and make it happen.

Give a gift. A gift you put some thought into shows the depth of your feelings. It shows your love is more than your words. There was a Valentine's Day where I simply picked up a card on the way home and signed it quickly to give to my husband. I didn't take the time to put my heart into thinking about what he would love. When we casually toss a couple dollars in the plate at church, keep our time and talents to ourselves, we're missing a great opportunity to give a gift to God.

Listen. If I spent all my time with my husband or friends, telling them about my day, dreams and frustrations, the relationship wouldn't grow much. They'd mostly just be annoyed that I was so self-centered. But when we actively listen to each other, a mutual love flourishes. It's the same with God.

It's a journey. It's taken me 9 years to get to know my husband to the depth that I do now. If I could have snapped my fingers and had that awareness instantly, it wouldn't be much of a relationship. We had to work at it. We secretly want an easy relationship with God. We question why the "feeling" isn't automatically there. It's a journey. And it's a beautiful way to live as you explore the nuances of a relationship with God over time. In the church, we call it sanctification or working out our salvation. It takes a life time. Stop looking for a quick fix. Commit to the journey.

Learn about the other. As I get closer to 30, I'm more aware that my parents were people with their own dreams and desires before they were my mom and dad. Crazy right?! I love spending time with them now learning about what's important to them. I look through old pictures and wonder what they were like. God makes this fairly easy for us. There are 66 books out there telling story after story of what's important to God, how much God loved his son and how God feels about humanity.

All relationships experience conflict. My siblings and I argued over the silliest things when we were younger. It was inevitable as we figured out how to live with each other. As long as we tried to talk about it and work through it, it drew us closer to each other. It's okay to be mad at God. It's okay to have doubts. Talk it out with God and others. Work through it. It can make your faith even stronger.

Speak up. Our words are powerful. We say, "I love you. I can't imagine my life without you. I appreciate you." Sometimes we fake it until we make it. When we're not feeling loving towards a friend or child or spouse, we can say these things and we'll eventually be reminded we do mean them. Same with God. Just because we don't feel the love, doesn't mean it's not there. Tell God what you're feeling and thinking.

If you still want some kind of formula, try this. Set aside 5 minutes a day to start with. Get quiet. Read scripture. Talk to God. Listen.

God will speak. Just be ready for what you might hear. Your life may never be the same.