Notes from a Virginia Country House

Sappy Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 16:51:00 +0000

Here is my silly and somewhat embarrassing Christmas tree story, reposted. Growing up, it was always a big family event to go get the Christmas tree. My first Christmas out of college, I lived in a small apartment, and had reasoned that it was impractical to have a real tree. So embracing my new-found practicality and my credit card, off I went to get a faux tree from the local Target. We pulled into the parking lot and got out of the car, but as we started walking toward the store, all of the sudden I burst into tears, much to the astonishment of the dear man I was with. Alarmed, he said, "What is it, what's wrong?"

And I, in a perfectly ridiculous and unintelligible way said, "Nothing."

"Okay, you are crying in a parking lot. Clearly something is wrong."

"I don't want to do this."

"What?" He put both hands on my shoulders, "Go to Target?"

"I don't want a fake tree. I want a real tree."

And without saying another word, the wonderful man turned me around, got back into the car and drove to a Boy Scout Christmas tree lot, where he froze as he patiently shook out 20 trees for me to look at, whereupon I finally chose the first one, which was far too enormous for the apartment. And I was blissfully happy. The End.

In honor of sappy Christmas tree stories throughout history, here are the Virginia Country House top ten reasons to buy a real Christmas tree this year.

10. Buying a real tree promotes sustainable agriculture. For every tree harvested, 2 or 3 seedlings are planted in its place.

9. Christmas tree farms stabilize soil, protect water supplies and provide refuge for wildlife while creating scenic green belts. Often, Christmas trees are grown on soils that could not support other crops.

8. Tree farming is a labor of love. The growing time for a 6-foot tree, which is average retail sale height, is anywhere from 7 to 15 years.

7. Most Christmas tree growers are small family farms. If you believe that we need more family farms in the United States, then vote with your feet. Buying a real Christmas tree is one simple way that you can effect real change.

6. Buying a real Christmas tree protects land near your home from development, and keeps your dollars local. There are about 15,000 Christmas tree growers in the U.S., and over 100,000 people employed full or part time in the industry.

5. Tree farms clean the air we breathe. Real Christmas trees absorb carbon dioxide and other harmful gases and emit fresh oxygen. Just one acre of Christmas trees cleans the air for 18 people. With approximately one million acres producing Christmas trees in the United States, that translates into oxygen for 18 million people every day. But farmers must make a living, so if people don't buy their trees, they won't grow them.

4. The tree buying trip is a memorable tradition for children and grandchildren. No one ever looks back on their childhood and says fondly, "Wow, I remember the time we went to the big-box Super Store and picked out the fake tree made in China and lugged the box to the car."

3. Most fake trees and wreaths are made in Korea, Taiwan or China and shipped by plane to the United States. But fake trees don't last forever. When they start to look ratty, they don't go back to Korea or Taiwan or China, they end up in our landfills and will never deteriorate.

(Don't worry about buying a live tree and re-planting it, you don't need to- a cut real Christmas tree will biodegrade quickly and put valuable nutrients back into the soil.)

2. A real tree or wreath smells good. Like outdoors. Fake trees and wreaths make you cry.

And the number one reason (as if you needed another one) to buy a real Christmas tree? Simple. A real Christmas tree is beautiful.

Please share your Christmas tree stories...

The Art of Travel: Becoming an Elegant Vagabond

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 04 Feb 2015 01:10:00 +0000

How is your new year coming along? It is usually about February for me, after the busyness of the holidays and subsequent January recovery, that I begin to get the urge to travel. How about you?

Travel, I find, is an excellent thing to do early in the year because the right kind of travel can significantly impact how the rest of the year unfolds. The right kind of travel? I know you know what I'm talking about. The kind where you pack a small bag, grab your passport, credit card and spirit of adventure and head out of Dodge. The kind where you pick someplace you've always wanted to see, and enjoy that delicious feeling of anonymity for a day or a weekend or a week, in a place you've never been before. Have you ever done that?

Throughout my ramblin' life I've made it a point to ask for tips from accomplished travelers I admire, and here are five of the best pieces of advice I've received.

Tip #1 It's a big world out there. You cannot possibly go everywhere, do everything, or see everything on earth in one lifetime, so it's of vital importance that you craft a world travel experience that's meaningful to only you. Instead of buying a guidebook and then doing whatever the writer believes is a "must-do," think about what really interests you, and focus your time, energy and money on those things. If you're crazy about biking and learning about wine, don't spend your trip to Italy mindlessly bussing from one museum to the next. Are horses your passion? Equestrian friends have taken dressage lessons in Portugal, ridden through the French countryside, and worked cattle on a ranch in Wyoming. You'll learn more, have more memorable experiences, interact more with the local people, and be a better traveler if you do things that you are passionate about. In the words of the poet Mary Oliver, "Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"

Tip #2 Do not reinvent the wheel every time you travel. Spend some time after a trip figuring out what worked, what didn't, what you wish you had packed and what you wish you had left at home. Plan on walking through a downpour to get to your transportation; plan on snowstorms and flight delays; running into your old college flame, or friends who want to stop someplace swanky for a cocktail. In short, fashion a reliable travel uniform that looks respectable, and is comfortable, versatile and practical.

Tip #3 Be curious, friendly and humble. If you are not, by nature any of these, it will be difficult to manifest these characteristics specifically for travel. However, it is almost certain that your travel (and life?) experiences will be the better for it.

Tip #4 Do not be in a hurry. To hurry when traveling invites difficulty as surely as washing your car invites rain. It is also impossible to be elegant and be in a hurry. You have all the time in the world because you know that travel is by definition about the journey, and so you leave plenty of time to get to the airport, to make flight changes, to arrive before your tour, or cruise or meeting. And if you are early, see Tip #5.

Tip #5 Bring a good book and a snack. I always have something with me that I'm looking forward to reading. I download books, magazines and movies onto my iPad, and heaven knows there is always Pinterest. But since one can never be assured of WiFi or cellular service, or the opportunity to re-charge, I also have a few things to read the old-fashioned way too. I sometimes cut out articles from magazines that I squirrel away just for traveling. I didn't always bring along a snack, but since it usually doesn't occur to me to eat until I'm completely famished, now I have something healthy like a few packs of almonds and an apple in my bag.

How about you? Please share your hard-won lessons and favorite travel tips!

Images: 1. www. louisvuitton.com 2-3. www.pinterest.com 4. www.theladyslife.com 5. Pinterest via www.beautifulnomad.com 6-7. www.pinterest.com

Food to Die For

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 15:05:00 +0000

We don't die in the South, we pass, and almost no one passes without a reception following the funeral, at which three things will surely be present: Fine china and polished silver, tomato aspic with homemade mayonnaise, and a casserole. Southern women approach bringing food to the bereaved with the determination and commitment of a civic duty, like voting or wearing pearls. Food to Die For: A Book of Funeral Food, Tips, and Tales From the Old City Cemetery, Lynchburg, Virginia gives an interesting history of funeral customs, great recipes, advice on transporting a meatloaf and how to write an obituary. Written with warmth and humor by experienced cook and hostess Jessica Bemis Ward, the book contains 180 pages of recipes, etiquette and anecdotes, benefiting the Old City Cemetery in Lynchburg, Virginia.

In Being Dead Is No Excuse: The Official Southern Ladies Guide To Hosting the Perfect Funeral, inveterate hostess and Mississippi resident Gayden Metcalfe is chock full of Southern customs and literary pathos, sort of like Faulkner's As I Lay Dying, except with humor and Coconut Cake.

And my last recommendation is The Southerner's Handbook: A Guide to Living the Good Life, a compilation of excellent articles curated by the editors of Garden & Gun magazine. From how to tell a great story, to how to rock a pair of white bucks, the book is filled with more than 100 narrative essays by some of the South's finest craftsmen, hosts and writers. Want to know how to fall off a horse? Wear Seersucker? Make a perfect biscuit? It's in there. A great book for a nip of bourbon and a rainy evening's reading. Oh, hold on, that reminds me. Speaking of rainy day reading, there's more book I've been meaning to tell you about that I think you'll like...

Nestled in the deep South, The Charleston Academy of Domestic Pursuits was founded in 2011 by Lee Manigault and Suzanne Pollack to instruct aspiring domestic divas on all aspects of gracious living at home. I especially love their recommendations for throwing a great party. Among their wise advice to hosts is what to wear and how to start the party right by greeting your guests as though they are the person that you most want to see in the world. They have terrific ideas for organization, ambiance and food, and their advice to forget the e-vites and either use written invitations or call your guests on the phone, is spot on. If you can't attend their seminars in person, this "Handbook of Etiquette with recipes"is the next best thing.

Southern Summer Bar

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Mon, 08 Sep 2014 13:25:00 +0000

This is an adults-only post, so if you are not over 21 (and you know who you are) please move along, there is nothing for you here.

According to fourth generation New Orleans bartender Chris McMillan, "Southern bartenders need grace, decorum and a sense of theatricality," (Garden & Gun, February 2013)

When planning your home bar, keep in mind that it isn't necessary or desirable to mimic the selection or atmosphere of a commercial establishment. A home bar can be as simple as spirits and mixers in a basket on patio, or you might eschew variety all together and become known for a "house" drink, like fresh whiskey sours or mojitos with mint from your garden.

In any case, whether or not you choose to serve alcohol at all, in the South, entertaining is about being a gracious host and making guests feel special. A little planning, tools at the ready, and high quality ingredients on hand make graceful entertaining a lot easier to accomplish on the spur of the moment. Check out Blackberry Farm's recipe for a refreshing Sorghum Mint Julep, here.

The Lewis bag is an essential tool for serving drinks in the heat and humidity of a Virginia summer, because the bag keeps ice dry while you crush it. A carpenter's joiner mallet works fine- a flat striking head is much more effective at banging ice than a rounded one.

A bar spoon is about the size of a teaspoon but has a long handle that can reach to the bottom of tall glasses. This one is especially nice with its perforated bowl.

A stainless steel muddler mashes fruits and muddles your mint in a jif,

and a jigger is helpful for measuring.

Cocktail shakers are useful and sometimes pretty. There are shakers with a strainer lid (which have a tendency to leak, so be sure to read the reviews before purchasing one) and

Boston shakers, which require slight of hand or a separate strainer tool. These are less likely to leak, but do take a bit of practice to master.

Love this do-it-all malachite bottle opener.

Linen cocktail napkins are festive and always appropriate, and since we monogram everything but the dog here in the South, these would be right at home on a Southern bar.

If linen is (understandably) too much trouble, paper is a fine option, and a trip to Charlottesville would not be complete without a visit to Caspari to see their vibrant seasonal patterns. I love this one, appropriately named "Endless Summer." Find it here.

Via

Stocking a home bar seems endlessly complicated, but it doesn't have to be. The editors of Martha Stewart.com, here, suggest fewer varieties of the highest quality. After all, you're not running a night club.

The List:

You may love big, intensely flavored gin so filled with complex botanicals that it tastes like the floor of a forest, and there are gorgeous aged tequilas for $600 a bottle, but for simplicity's sake, the spirits we've reviewed below, while not avant-garde or wildly expensive, are noted for their quality, smooth taste for sipping, clean flavor in mixed drinks, and somewhat universal appeal.

If your friends love trendy martinis and flavored liquors, a festive way to offer them at a party without going broke buying large bottles of things you'll never drink again, is to pile a selection of mini bottles in a basket or crystal bowl.

Important--In the classic bar manual American Bar, Charles Schuman cautions hosts that a good cocktail is not necessarily a large one, and it goes without saying that one should drink and serve responsibly, and never, ever drink and drive, or allow guests to do so.

It is absolutely not necessary to serve alcohol to be a good host or to have a good time. There are thousands of articles on the internet that advise hosts how to recognize the limits of guests and prevent them from over-indulging, as well how to know when guests have had too much and what to do about it. It is important to check the regulations in your state for drinking and serving alcohol to guests. MADD reminds hosts not to rely on coffee to sober-up guests, and because only time can make someone sober, recommends closing the bar at least 90 minutes before the party ends. Read their safe party guide by clicking here.

Basic Bar:

Vodka- Hangar 1 Straight vodka is distilled in small batches from Viognier grapes and wheat right here in the U.S. Ultra-smooth with no burn, it's sippable, and also makes a super martini. Note: We're keeping things simple but it would be a grave injustice not to mention Hangar 1's Fraser River Raspberry vodka. I don't generally like flavored vodkas because they taste weirdly chemical to me, but this one tastes like fresh raspberries, albeit with a kick.

Rum- Do not skimp on quality here. The best rums will transport one (taste-wise anyway) to the islands. The cheap ones will transport one to a back alley. This Zaya 12-year old rum will make a rum and Coke that will knock one's socks off. A luscious blended rum with flavors of maple and vanilla, smooth enough to drink straight.

Gin- The perfect gin and tonic should be clean, dry, crisp and fresh. Tanquery No. Ten makes a good dry martini and an excellent gin and tonic. And here's a little secret, if you normally make your G &T with 2 oz. of gin and 6 oz. of tonic, for a slightly drier, cleaner taste, try using half tonic and half club soda and see what you think. Rub the wedge of lime around the rim of the glass and give it a squeeze before you toss it in.

Tequila- Tequila lovers recommend that if one is going to buy Tequila, buy 100% blue agave, or just skip it. Tequila comes in four official aging categories, which are determined by how long the tequila is rested before bottling. Unlike some other spirits, a longer resting doesn't necessarily determine the quality. I choose a "Reposado," which is tequila aged from 60 days to year. This generally mellows the agave without obliterating the flavor with massive oakiness. Herradura Reposado has the color and slight flavor of butterscotch and is smooth enough to drink neat but clean enough to mix, at a reasonable price.

Whisky (or Whiskey)- Hard red winter wheat, malted barley and yellow corn, with no rye, make this bourbon distinct. Delicious and smooth, Maker's Mark has a hint of spiciness and a mellow carmelly-vanilla, creme brûlée flavor without being too sweet. A classic bourbon for mixing or drinking neat. I also keep Jack Daniels, a Tennessee whiskey, on hand.

Kahlua- Kahlua is a versatile liqueur. It makes several notable cocktails, a grown-up version of hot chocolate or adult's-only dessert-in-a-pinch over ice cream.

A bottle of something with a unique flavor for mixing your favorite "house" cocktail, perhaps Campari, St. Germain, Midori or Amaretto. Right now St. Germain is popular and the beautiful bottle looks nice too.

Additionally, one might consider stocking bitters, a dry vermouth for martinis, small bottles of good club soda and tonic water, Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Ginger-ale (Schweppes!) and cranberry juice cocktail.

An ice bucket and pitcher will be handy for serving cocktails or lemonade and iced tea. This 18/10 stainlesss steel ice bucket from Calphalon is double-walled, keeps ice frozen for hours, and has a plexi-glass top so it's easy to see when ice needs to be replaced. The perforations on the scoop are a useful feature. Find it here. One might also stock some good olives and fresh fruit (lemons, limes, and oranges) for fresh juices, as well as beer, and red and white wine. Ina recommends keeping bottle of good champagne in the refrigerator.

How do you like to entertain? What are your bar basics? Do you have a favorite house cocktail? Recipes, as you know, are always welcome...

What Happens in Memphis...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Fri, 01 Aug 2014 16:41:00 +0000

I am a vegetarian. Except in Memphis.

This is revealed without ceremony to whomever might be a (surprised) companion when I sidle up to the window at Central BBQ and order a massive rack of ribs with extra "bark," that heavenly, dark, heavily smoked crust. The young lady taking orders laughs when I say, "No I don't want beans, or potato salad, or slaw. (Well, okay, maybe a little slaw.) Just ribs please!"

I know, you've been to Arthur Bryant's in Kansas City and Sonny Bryan's in Dallas. You've tasted the other-worldly fanatical barbecue brilliance of Greg Gatlin in Houston, and you love that crazy tang in the Carolinas. But, I'm here to tell you folks, if you have never had Tennessee barbecue, your finger-licking life is not complete.

The generally accepted method for sussing out life changing barbecue almost anywhere in the South is to look for great piles of oak and hickory or pecan wood stacked outside a small building maybe made of brick, or concrete block or corrugated metal. If you pass an old motel and a pawn shop, you're close. If you smell woodsmoke, and the parking lot is packed with locals, and there is a line out the door, you're there. Do not be alarmed by the Wonder Bread truck. There will be no ancient grains, low-cal, high fiber buns for your pork shoulder sandwich, and I promise, after one bite you will not care.

The meat will probably be rubbed with a secret concoction of dry spices and marinated for a day or two, then cooked low and slow over oak and hickory in some contraption that is, as Garden & Gun's John Edge says, "a feat of country boy ingenuity." Read his terrific article about the Tennessee Barbecue Trail here. Hungry? If you leave now you can be there by dinner time.

What is your favorite barbeque? Check out Cassie Johnston's no-fail recipe for delectable slow-cooker ribs (above) at Backtoherroots.com, here.

1. Photograph by Central BBQ, 2249 Central Ave. Memphis, TN 2. Photography by Peter Frank Edwards for Garden & Gun, June/July 2011 3. Photograph by Jennifer Davick for Southern Living 4. Photo by Hector Sanchez for Southern Living 5. Helen's Barbeque, Brownsville, TN. Photography by Peden + Munk from The Smoke Road by John T. Edge, Garden & Gun magazine, June/July 2012 6. Photograph by Cassie Johnston of Backtoherroots.com.

Sweet Memory

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Fri, 25 Jul 2014 21:08:00 +0000

My mom makes outrageously good apple pie. When I was a little girl I liked to "help" with this. I liked to "help" with a lot of things. This is quite possibly why I was frequently encouraged to go outside and play. "Wouldn't you rather go outside and play dear?" "Why don't you go outside and play." Or, "Go. Out. Side. And PLAY." Anyway, for some reason she didn't shoo me out of the kitchen very often when she was making pie, and I would be allowed to make my own delicious little pies with dough scraps pressed into tiny glass tart dishes, and a simple custardy buttermilk filling.

Buttermilk Pie is a classic Southern recipe that is wildly easy and can be whipped up from ingredients (flour, butter, sugar, eggs) that you probably have on hand right this minute. You will find recipes that have you using an electric mixer and adding ingredients in this order or that order. And you can do that if you want, but seriously, the pie is just as good if you channel your inner 7-year old and just dump the ingredients in a bowl, whisk them together and pour them into a prepared pie crust.

I am including a great recipe for pastry crust. Once again, easy peasy- flour, sugar, butter, water. A food processor will cut the butter into the flour mixture faster, but if you don't want to mess with that, you can use your hands. Or, use a ready-made refrigerated crust. In the summer I like to serve the pie chilled with a glass of cold milk or a cup of hot coffee. Fork optional.

Pastry Crust

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter, chilled and cubed
1 Tbsp. sugar
1/4 cup ice water

In a large bowl combine flour and salt. Cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Add the sugar. Add water 1 Tbsp. at a time, mixing until the mixture will form a ball. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate for 4 hours or overnight.

To prepare the pie crust for the Buttermilk Pie, the crust must be pre-baked. Roll out the dough about 1/8" thick to about a 12" circle. Press the dough evenly around the inside of a 9" pie plate and crimp the edges of the dough. Prick the bottom and sides with a fork. Line pastry with parchment paper, and fill with pie weights or dried beans. Bake at 400° for 10 minutes, then remove the weights and parchment paper, and bake 8-10 more minutes or until the crust is very lightly browned. Transfer to a wire rack and cool completely before filling, about 30 minutes.

Then, preheat the oven to 350°.

For the filling whisk together:

1 1/2 cups sugar
3 eggs
1 cup buttermilk OR sour milk (see below to make sour milk)
1/2 cup butter, melted
3 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice (if you have it, if not, don't worry about it)
1 tsp. real vanilla extract

How to make 1 cup of sour milk: Add 1 Tbsp. lemon juice to a glass measuring cup and add milk to make 1 cup. Let this stand for 5 minutes before adding to a recipe.

Pour into a prepared pie shell, and bake at 350° for 35-45 minutes or until almost set, shielding the edges with aluminum foil after 15 minutes. Cool one hour before eating. If you absolutely must get schmancy, you can add 1/2 c. of chopped pecans to the top before baking, or swirl 1/4 cup of good berry jam through the filling before baking, or serve the pie with fresh berries on the side and a light, last minute dusting of confectioners sugar.

Now go outside and play!

For further reading, here are three good books from my shelf. Yum:

Image: Martha Stewart.com

Practicing Poise

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Sun, 13 Jul 2014 04:00:00 +0000

I was looking at a popular shelter magazine this morning with my coffee. It showed images of an impressive and striking house, which, to my fascination, appeared to have not a single comfortable place to sit. I wondered if it feels stressful to live there.

The purpose of design is to help us live more gentle, graceful lives, not to create rooms that photograph well. Most of us, I think, seek to develop poise in ourselves and in our houses and gardens so that we may have lives that look beautiful but more importantly, live beautifully.

As I was pulling some favorite images of summer, I started jotting down notes about developing personal poise, along with some ideas for creating a more poised and graceful house.

1. Be gentle and kind. We value this quality in our friends, in our spouses, children and pets. People with a gentle voice, a calm spirit and quiet consideration for themselves and others are always a joy to be near. I remember hearing myself for the first time on a tape recorder in elementary school and being shocked at the sound of my voice. That was when I realized that our perception of our own voice is sometimes quite different from what others hear.

Toastmasters International advises that the best speaking voice is pleasant, conveys a sense of warmth, is expressive, reflects sincerity, uses good diction, and is neither too fast or too slow. Harrison Ford has a great male speaking voice. It has a nice depth, and he always sounds calm, intelligent, confident (and somewhat paternal). Do you have a favorite voice? Have you ever been surprised to hear how you sound?

How about our houses? Do you feel nurtured and embraced within your house and garden? A friend told me in January that her New Year's resolution was not major home improvements, but instead to spend the time and money necessary to fix a myriad of small but frustrating issues in her house that she had been alternately avoiding or trying to live with. Inspired, I finally repaired a cupboard door in my kitchen that popped off of its hinges at least twice a month.

Are there rugs or cords that trip you constantly? Are your chairs comfortable and supportive or do they hurt your back? Pour a glass of wine and wander around your house with a book, sitting in each chair. Is there a table nearby to set your glass? Is there enough light to read? Are there rooms that are too hot or too cold, too dark or too bright? A house, like a good friend, should be gentle and kind.

2. Slow down. We seem to be moving faster and faster, but I wonder if we're actually getting more done or just sacrificing our quality of life and peace of mind. It is impossible to be poised if we are always in a hurry, because poise is dignified and graceful, not harried. I found myself in a rush today, digging for my car keys in my handbag like some crazed gopher. I didn't feel very graceful and I'm certain I did not look the least bit dignified. Deep cleansing breath....

Slowing down allows us to be present for the people we are with at the moment, instead of always hurrying to get to the next place and do the next thing. And then, ironically, once we get there, hurrying to get to the next place and do the next thing. Does this feel familiar? Jacqueline Kennedy was famous for her ability to make anyone speaking with her feel as if he or she were the most important person in the room. It is an incredibly attractive quality, and I have come to understand that the best gift we can give to someone is our undivided attention. Slowing down and living a life of poise and presence is a luxury that is free.

Janice Parker Landscape Design

One of my favorite movies is The Tourist, a relaxing, fun, old-fashioned caper movie starring Johnny Dep and Angelina Jolie. I especially love the character Elise Clifton-Ward because she is a walking textbook of poise. I read an interview with Ms. Jolie, who said that almost every day her notes from the director said, "Slow down." She said, "I think as very modern women we feel the need to attack things...the director was trying to teach me a certain way of being bred, this elegance, like time moves around you, you don't meet it. The hardest thing for me was to take a deep breath and glide a little more."

Our houses (and cars) can become giant, disheveled handbags if we're not mindful. Taking one extra moment to put something away where it belongs, straighten-up a drawer, or wipe off the bathroom faucet when we are finished, can make such a difference in how a house looks and how graceful it feels to live there.

We can create places in our houses and gardens that encourage us to slow down, rest and regain our composure. I know someone who has a book stand with a dictionary by the window in her office. She says sometimes as she is going about her day, she'll pause a moment and learn a new word. Consider adding a bench to the garden, or a teak stool to the shower.

3. Develop exquisite manners. If I could give one piece of advice to my younger self, (besides to buy Apple in 1980) it would be this. I believe now that manners are the great equalizer. We don't need to be handsome or glamorous or have any special privilege- it costs nothing to have beautiful manners. I have made many mistakes in my life, some the result of plain stupidity, and some because I lacked important insight, but the mistakes I regret most are the ones where I was rude or hurt someone's feelings.

Everyone (more than likely) is an idiot at least once in their life, but unkindness always weighs most heavily on me. I am no expert, but I believe now that manners can instantly create more peace and harmony in a marriage than counseling, and more lasting happiness in a home than any amount of money. Manners both set a person apart and guarantee that he or she fits in everywhere.

Houses have manners too. When you walk through the door after a long day and your arms are full of parcels, your house should say, "Here, let me get that for you!" We cannot all have butlers waiting at the door to receive our things, but we might be able to place a table or chair nearby at the ready to hold our packages, and car keys, and letters to mail.

I adore hooks, and I think it is unlikely that a house could have too many of them. Have you ever stayed in someone's home and praised heaven for extra hooks in the bathroom to hang your robe and toiletry kit? A friend has a hook on her front porch for the dry cleaning delivery, but she finds it is also handy for dripping raincoats.

In the garage or under the eaves by the back door is another great place for a hook. Would it be convenient to have a hook on the outside of your closet door to hold today's jeans or tomorrow's planned outfit? Or a row of cup hooks inside the pantry door to hold aprons or those ever-present plastic bags for recycle?

Would it be nice to have a pretty tray to carry refreshments? There is something about placing things on a tray that elevates the mundane to something special. I just finished a novel in which one of the characters always places drinks on a tray, even if she is only transporting one bottle of mineral water and a tumbler outdoors to enjoy while she sits in the sun.

A house that allows us to live well need not be large or grand. A simple cottage can be designed with thoughtful details that help us live gracefully.

4. Create balance. Epicurus, the Greek scientist and philosopher said, "Be moderate in order to taste the joys of life in abundance." People who are poised seem to have discovered the magic balance between just enough and too much.

via

Sleep, sun, food, work, time spent alone and with others, time spent talking and listening, security and freedom, spending and saving, comfort and adventure- all of these things require an attention to balance. When our lives are in balance, it is often easier for us to feel serene.

A house in balance might mean symmetrical or asymmetrical balance in architecture or decor, but it might also mean a balance between formal and casual spaces, places for evening and for daytime, places to be alone and places to be with others. A space that is sexy and swank for evening cocktails is probably not the space where most of us would be happiest having breakfast.

That is often what we don't see in magazines. A house might photograph wonderfully, but how does it feel on a Sunday afternoon, or when you have the flu, or after a bad day at work? I'll confess I tend to judge the success of a room based upon its nap-ability and how many spots I can find to read. Which rooms do you like to use in the winter and which rooms feel best in the summer? A balanced house is a house for all seasons.

5. Develop your curiosity and pursue your own education. A person who is poised is fun to talk to because he or she is curious about many things. An ivy league education is always nice to have, but curiosity, openness and interest in learning are greater factors in determining poise and intelligence. I am always amazed when I meet people who are resistant to learning. They seem willing to struggle almost interminably rather than admit to a lack of knowledge. I have found throughout my life that my teachers have come in all sorts of packages, often unlikely packages, and I have learned to soak up knowledge any way I can get it, from anyone willing to take their time to teach me something I need to know. Are you a voracious learner?

I love this picture of Nigella Lawson surrounded by sky-high shelves of books. Do you have a place in your house where you can pursue learning? It might be a dining room made into a library, or a studio or craft room created in a laundry area.

It might be books stacked on a nightstand or a chair in the garden. A poised house supports our self-education.

6. Stay connected to nature. To be poised and tranquil, it is important to stay connected to our source. Consider the poised grace of trees. We are a part of the earth and it is a part of us. From the food we eat to the water we drink, we depend on our connectedness to nature to stay alive. Our brain and heart is about 73% water. Our lungs are 83%, our skin is 64%, even our bones are watery at 31%. We must have air in order to survive, but the American Lung Association reports that in 2014, almost half of all Americans live in counties with unhealthy levels of pollution.

Scientific studies have proven over and over again that access to nature is essential to human health. College students do better on tests if their dorm rooms view green spaces. Children with ADHD have fewer symptoms when time is spent doing outdoor activities in lush environments. Residents of public housing complexes have better family interactions if they live near trees.

As evolved as we human beings are, we are, thankfully, still organisms of nature, not machines. Our habitat is the environment, and over time, we suffer physical, psychological and social breakdown when we are forced to live in environments that are not natural.

A poised and tranquil home needs access to nature.

Find ways to integrate plants, flowers, or even a bowl of fruit or vegetables into every room of your home, and you will find that your rooms will seem more restful, beautiful and inviting.

I hope you are enjoying your summer! What are your thoughts about poise? xo, N.G.

On my bookshelf:

Images: 1. via Pinterest 2. Design by Wadia Associates via Dering Hall and the Fullerview 3. via Pinterest 4. Nina Gates 5. This Old House.com 6. Photographed by Kiel James Patrick, Tumblr 7. Timothy Corrigan via Architectural Digest 8. Janice Parker Landscape Design 9. via Pinterest 10. Jean-Loup Durand via Veranda 11. Massant bergere via Veranda 12. Veere Grenay 13. Barbara Barry 14. Nora Murphy Country House 15. Restoration Hardware Bistro hook 16. Martha Stewart Living photographed by Jonny Miller 17. via Elle Decoration photographed by Fabrizio Cicconi18. Martha Stewart Living 19. Garden & Gun Magazine 20. Pinterest 21. Matt Botts Landscape Design 22. Pinterest 23. Pinterest 24. Stephen Shubel 25. Pinterest 26. Jules Alexis Muenier 27.Pinterest 28. Pinterest 29. Pierre Frey, Espalier via Veranda 30. Pinterest

Happy 238th Birthday America!

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Sat, 05 Jul 2014 00:01:00 +0000

John Trumbull 1817

Have a safe and happy Fourth of July!

The Elegant View of David Fuller

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 05 Jun 2014 17:32:00 +0000

Aristotle opined that we are what we repeatedly do. "Excellence, then," he said, "is not an act, but a habit."

One visit to TheFullerView.tumblr.com, and it becomes obvious that for David Fuller, excellence is something that happens every day.

And with just a click, we too can be privileged citizens of his elegant world.

With boundless style and a flawless eye, David consults on visual merchandising, product development, and brand positioning.

He also uses his photography and graphic design skills to create archives of branded images for his clients to use on their own blogs, social media,

websites and print campaigns.

The Fuller Collection is a cultivated range of personal stationery and photography which he hopes to expand to include goods curated from other creatives.

His images are genteel, aristocratic even,

and describe a life of exquisite serenity, privilege and beauty.

But the world of David Fuller is also welcoming, comfortable and kind,

and that, at the heart of it is his message.

That grace, goodness and beauty can "inform our minds and inspire our souls."

What is so charming about David is his complete lack of pretension.

His photographs are breathtaking, but he insists that he is not a professional photographer.

His singular ability to cultivate collections illuminates our understanding and appreciation of life, like the very best art, poetry and music, and yet he says that he is not an artist.

“I actually started the tumblr site as a convenient place to post my own photos alongside the work I admired from professional photographers. I would compare my images to theirs and challenge myself on composition and so forth.”

David describes his background in merchandising as a key factor in his creative success.

The experience he gained working with talented artists, fashion designers, photographers and art directors creating visual communications for iconic businesses such as Ralph Lauren, Coach, Saks Fifth Avenue, Lord & Taylor, and Samsonite, helped him acquire the disciplines and intuition that have developed into a finely tuned understanding of what people respond to visually.

Ultimately what sets David apart is his character, his kindness and his ability to express the values of his clients through his work, as well as, I imagine, his own.

In this recently completed project for the Trinity Boston Foundation, David said that he specifically chose "a non-traditional size for the annual report so it would feel more like a marketing tool with a longer reach than just an annual report. Our hope is this will make others wish to be a part of such a vital organization." His clients, he is delighted to say, were thrilled.

A native Bostonian, David tells me that sharing his view of the world he sees every day is his expression of gratitude for time spent in a place he loves.

"I believe we live up to the standards of our surroundings, in people, and places. A life immersed in grace, goodness and beauty raises the bar. Like music, poetry and literature- the visual arts inform our minds and inspire our souls. The environments we choose, and the ones we create matter- these spaces refresh and renew us for the journey to reach our potential.” David Fuller

Visit David Fuller at www.mindingshop.com

Favorites from our library:

Puppy Portrait

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 20 Mar 2014 06:09:00 +0000

I just recently finished this portrait of Mr. Darcy, Jennings' Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. Cavaliers are sweet little dogs and so much fun to paint because their very grave expressions contrast so comically with their fun-loving personalities and high energy.

To Curtsey or Not To Curtsey

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 13 Feb 2014 20:33:00 +0000

Princess Zinaida Nikolajevna Yusupova by Francois Flameng, 1894

The curtsey (or curtsy) is a traditional gesture of an inferior to a superior. According to Gail MacColl in, To Marry an English Lord,"The court curtsy was very deep, with the head nearly touching the floor, and required extensive rehearsal. The trickiest part was inching out of the royal presence, since one may not turn one's back on royalty."

King George III by Allan Ramsay, 1762

People in exotic far away lands, such as Great Britain, do it because they are subjects of the ruling monarch, the monarch's family members and others within the hierarchy of the British peerage.

Washington Crossing the Delaware by Emanuel Leutz, 1851

We Americans, one might recall, engaged in a small skirmish commonly referred to as The Revolutionary War, and penned a brief, explanatory document, The Declaration of Independence, precisely in order to free ourselves of royal rule, noble titles and the accompanying customs of subservience.

Queen Victoria and Her Family by Franz Xaver Winterhalter, 1846

This is why, as fond or respectful as we may be of them, we do not bow, curtsey, or genuflect even to our own presidents or their family members.

The Coronation of Tsar Alexander III by Georges Becker

"When an American citizen curtseys to a foreign head of state," says Judith Martin, (a.k.a. the brilliant Miss Manners) "I remind myself that they are likely just being silly, not treasonous."

George Nathanial, Marquess Curzon of Kedleston by John Singer Sargent 1914

"When an American official does it," she says,

Prince William Duke of Cambridge; Prince Harry by Nicola Jane Philpps 2009

"we can only hope it was because he was noticing that his own shoelace was undone-- and not that he recognizes the divine right of kings in general, or the authority over us of that king in particular."

The Landing of HRH The Princess Alexandra at Gravesend, 7th March 1863 by Henry Nelson O'Neil 1864

So what then, is one to do when one finds oneself presented to a queen, a duchess,

King Willem III of The Netherlands by Nicolaas Pieneman, 1856

or the President of the United States of America?

Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon, Duchess of York by Philip de Lazlo, 1925

The American greeting originates as early as the 5th century BC.

Thrasea and Euandria, Marble, ca. 375-350 BC, Antikensammlung Berlin Pergamon Museum

It conveys trust, respect, balance and equality.

Hera and Athena, The Acropolis Museum, Athens, Greece

Because our official position as a nation is that we consider all people to be equal, and equally worthy of respect, the same gesture, the handshake-- simple, dignified and egalitarian-- is appropriate for all.

General Lafayette's Departure from Mount Vernon, 1784, Library of Congress Collection

President Barack Obama shakes hands with a young cub scout, 2010

Declaration of Independence by John Trumbull, 1817

We understand that this is not universal, but as Americans, it is our way.

The Wonder Years

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Sat, 25 Jan 2014 02:12:00 +0000

Two words: Volleyball scene.

My Coach post sparked a flood of reader e-mail. One note had a fairly comprehensive list of 70's and 80's celebrity and television icons, like M*A*S*H, the gorgeous Bo Derek, and the much missed John Belushi. Another reader told us that she recalls products- like Herbal Essence shampoo and Kissing Potion lip gloss. Since I have had in the recent past, or will have in the reasonably near future (don't you love being vague on the internet?) a birthday, I shall take a moment and indulge in a little reminiscing. Here are a few things that I remember. How about you?

Tab. It tasted pretty bad, but adding lemon helped. Makes me grateful for Coke Zero.

Josten's class rings. I wonder whatever happened to mine. Do you still have yours? Or, His?

How many times did you hear, "Don't sit so close to the TV, you'll ruin your eyes!" If anyone grew up to become an Opthamologist, please let me know whether this was true.

Tube socks.

Bottle Caps.

Such a beautiful voice.

In Suntan, of course.

Libraries. I liked the way the plastic covers on the books would crinkle expectantly when you opened them. Still do. I cover my cookbooks in clear protectors from Gaylord.com. See them here.

We drank out of the hose and survived.

Captain Kirk was a total babe. Plus he was smart, had a great sense of humor, saved planet Earth more times than I can count, and helped negotiate peace with the Klingons. What more could you want in a man? There is an excellent contemporary article on leadership (and successful living) at Forbes magazine, called "Five Leadership Lessons from James T. Kirk." Read it here.

He's dead, Jim!

Captain Kirk cupcakes. Wouldn't you SO rather have these than a birthday cake?

Dr. Scholls.

Coppertone.

Film.

And Farrah.

Tickle, Lemon Up shampoo and Gee, Your Hair Smells Terrific!

Boone's Farm, Chef Boyardee, Jiffy Pop, and of course Cheese Whiz in a can, (which was high gourmet at cocktail hour growing up prep). What do you miss? What do you remember?

And to all of our dear readers who have celebrated a birthday in the recent past, or in the near future, we wish you Happy Birthday. Save us some cake!

Put me in Coach...

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Fri, 17 Jan 2014 17:36:00 +0000

Coach, Spring 2014

Wow, have you noticed the change in Coach recently?

Brook Shields for Calvin Klein

Many of us of a certain age remember carrying the iconic Coach bag in our youth. Well-crafted and expensive, if slightly stodgy, the "Willis" bag with its double-stitched preppiness, looked just right with our Calvin Klein and Gloria Vanderbuilt jeans.

Animal House

We carried the "Stewardess" turnlock, ubiquitous brand hangtag in full view, slung crossbody over Izod polo shirts which we layered 2 deep (I have no idea how we even moved in all of those clothes) over a turtleneck

from Lisa Birnbach's Preppy Handbook

and under our Greek letters.

Coach Borough Bag

But at some point while I wasn't paying attention, Coach grew up. The Borough bag is the same top-quality Coach we knew and loved, but resuscitated with sleeker, more modern styling.

It comes in various leathers, but I'm particularly fond of the glossy polished calf. The large-sized bag is available in oxblood or black, and costs $898.

I like the handy pockets inside, and clean lines outside.

This jaguar print cape is just stunning. I would wear it for evening, or over jeans tucked into tall boots, or with a black leather skirt and oversize sunglasses à la Emma Peel.

And I certainly wouldn't turn down the gift of these gorgeous, bottle-green leather gloves.

Orchard Wedge Shoe in Peach Rose

It is nice to see a great brand revived with more minimalist designs that highlight the handsome leathers and high-quality construction that Coach has made its hallmark.

Men's Transatlantic Travel Carryon in Tobacco

Has anyone else checked out the new Coach?

Jennings & Gates has not been compensated in any way by Coach.

The Dichotomy of Elegance

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Tue, 05 Nov 2013 03:00:00 +0000

The (very large) book on my nightstand this week is C.Z Guest: American Style Icon by Susanna Salk, celebrating the elegance and flair of the late C.Z. Guest through the insightful reflections of her friends. It was a great choice, because I have been ruminating upon Matthew May's "Components of Elegance" since I finished his book, The Pursuit of Elegance.

Joan Rivers recalls once throwing a party to which she had invited, among the usual glitterati, a policeman who she says, "had been so nice to me and my family." She recalls that C.Z. was the only one of her guests who took the time to really sit and speak to him. Ms. Rivers says, "...C.Z. was not a snob. She was not aware, nor did she care, if she was talking to the President or the chauffeur's wife."

Restraint, in relation to elegance is sometimes refraining from doing things that are easy, and sometimes taking right action though doing so is hard. Our grandparents called it having character. It seems to me that restraint contributes to elegance precisely because it is something that popular culture rarely aspires to. And, I suppose, because restraint generally requires a lot of self-discipline.

How often do we see a person in the spotlight who is also discreet? Or a woman who could easily afford a Bentley (and someone to drive it for her) but runs around town in a Prius, because she doesn't care what kind of car she drives and believes that sustainable energy is important to the future of mankind? Or a billionaire hedge-fund manager who lobbies to pay his fair share of taxes? Do you know anyone who knows celebrities and does not drop names?

I had occasion to make a deal recently with a southern gentleman. We agreed, we shook hands, and it was done. I was mystified by his generosity. Though I was a complete stranger, and he had no particular reason to help me, he was the very definition of kindness. When I commented on this to another gentleman standing nearby, he said, "Yes, that is true. But woe be to whomever should cross him, because he also has a backbone." Elegant.

You might like from our library:

All Images, Pinterest: 1.Unknown 2. Michael Mundy 3. Slim Aarons/Getty Images 4. Slim Aarons/Getty Images 5. Michael Mundy

In Pursuit of Elegance

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Mon, 07 Oct 2013 19:05:00 +0000

In Pursuit of Elegance: Why the Best Ideas Have Something Missing the best-selling book by Matthew E. May is one of the best I've read all year. Thought provoking and insightful, he analyzes the principles of the mystifying quality of elegance- in companies, products, markets, art, nature, interactions and people.

We are captured by elegance- in a person, a painting, a symphony, in nature, in a building, in a math equation

and drawn to it with a magnetic pull because, I believe, some part of us recognizes the profound simplicity within the extraordinary complexity,

and we are seduced by the subtlety in that restraint.

Guy Kawasaki, former creative dynamo at Apple, says elegance "is a thoughtful, artful, subtractive process, focused on doing more and better with less."

Matthew May writes that the power of elegance comes from achieving "maximum effect with minimum input."

We knew this of course. But it helps to be reminded during these crazy financial times, in a world where more seems to never be enough, that elegance is possible while consuming fewer resources.

According to Mr. May, the four essential components of elegance are:

1. Symmetry

2. Subtraction

3. Seduction

4. Sustainability

I love his discussion of symmetry and fractals, nature's symmetric patterns, and will talk more about that later. Guy Kawasaki (who writes the Forward for the book) notes in an interview that "adding and acting" are the great enemies of elegance, and the notion of subtraction goes against our hardwired drive to "push, collect, hoard, store, and consume." We are such natural-born adders that we're bewitched by voluntary restraint.

When Coco Chanel said "Elegance is refusal," she wasn't suggesting saying "No" to everything and everyone, she was talking about the principle of subtraction. As one develops elegance one learns the keys to subtraction--knowing what to eliminate, and then how to go about it.

The component that really piqued my interest however, was Sustainability. To be elegant, a thing must be repeatable and lasting. I thought of George Clooney, an actor who is well-known for elegance on and off the screen. In order to develop a reputation for elegance, it isn't enough to behave like a gentleman or lady occasionally, it must be a habit of one's day to day existence.

I have heard for example, that for designer and legendary gentleman Tom Ford, politeness is as natural as breathing.

Jason Gay writes in the Wall Street Journal magazine that, "one of the first things people notice about Tom Ford is his politeness —what his friend, the actress Rita Wilson, calls his 'extremely good manners'; the way a simple act like a handshake or opening a door becomes a suave, elegant gesture, a throwback to another era. Little things, perhaps, but little things matter in the world of Tom Ford, a man of refinement and control, always dressed as if he's about to be photographed, even when he doesn't want to be photographed."

He goes on to write that artist Lisa Eisner recalls picking Mr. Ford up to see a movie and he was dressed in one of his suits. "'He is not going to wear cargo shorts,' Eisner says. 'He is always going to look impeccable, no matter where you catch him.'" Read the article here.

It is said that beauty is truth and truth, beauty. Elegance is uplifting and authentic, and only happens when conditions are natural and pure. When our manners with loved ones in the presence of other people are equally gracious in private. When our habits are graceful, even when we're alone and there's no one looking. When there is no difference between our best behavior and our normal behavior.

As I was driving yesterday I played a word association game with myself. I thought of someone I know, and then the first word that came to mind to describe them. A friend called and I told her that her name came up.

"What was my word, she asked?"

"Class. You are without a doubt, the classiest person I know. I have never known you to behave without kindness, and you always, always go the extra mile. You surprise and delight everyone who knows you with your thoughtfulness in big and small ways."

She thanked me for saying so, and told me that it meant a lot to her because it is the character trait that she most values in herself. I asked if she had been that way from birth, or if she had learned it somewhere along the way. She related that she grew up quite poor and her childhood had been very hard, but at about the age of 10, she was "adopted" by a woman and her extended family who did not have money, but who were always incredibly gracious, charming, kind and, "I don't know how else to describe it," she said, "besides genteel. That is when I decided I wanted to be just like them. I wanted to live my life in a way that was refined, dignified and kind."

When I told her about the book I had just read she said, "I don't know if I am elegant, but I made up my mind a long time ago to try and develop the characteristics of it."

I love that, and can't wait to hear your thoughts.

Find the book below. One caveat worth mentioning, this is a fairly intellectual exploration of a complex concept, not a style manual. So keep that in mind.

Images: 1. Chateau de Boury via Pinterest 2. Alice Vanderbuilt Sheppard by John Singer Sargent 3. Andrew Skurman Architects- San Francisco and Paris 4. Carolina Herrera 5. Tiffany & Co. Arts and Crafts sterling creamer with jade accented handle 6. In the Northern Wilderness by Ivan Shishkin, 1891. 7. Audrey Hepburn 8. Peony, via Pinterest 9. George Clooney 10. Tom Ford photographed for the Wall Street journal by Sølve Sundsbø. 11. Wave via Pinterest 12. The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge via Pinterest.

You might also enjoy this post:

Christmas Past

Classic Travel

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 22:09:00 +0000

The Grand Canyon via

In honor of summer vacations everywhere, one of my favorite pictures from our Pinterest Classic Travel file, here. Happy Thursday!

Jennings' Kitchen: Grilled Herb Shrimp

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 07 Aug 2013 12:20:00 +0000

Liz Bachman, Stylist. Photographed by Grace Combs via

"That grilled shrimp you made was amazing," she said, throwing the bags in her back seat. "Richard said it looked like it was marinated in fescue and clover though. Did you get the recipe from Bella?"

A smile. "No, it was herbs fresh out of the garden."

"Delish. Nice of you to throw your own birthday party."

"Did you see Hubert? You know, he said in passing that it is your turn to host something next. He keeps track of these things."

"Oh, really?" Raised eyebrow. "I have had him to dinner more times than I can count, and I've been over there exactly twice in the umpteen years I've known him. Since when is he tracking?"

"He says he had you over last."

"Fine, I'll invite him," she laughs, "but if he wants to get technical, actually, it's his turn. I asked him to dinner last week."

"I thought he couldn't come."

"And therein, lies the usefulness of arcane etiquette."

Known these days only by certain generations, and my great aunt Lee, the Invitation-Cancels-the-Obligation convention says that the social obligation created when an invitation is accepted is generally satisfied when a reciprocal invitation is extended, whether it is accepted or not.

The reason for this isn't to get people out of giving dinner parties, it is actually so that the person you have invited can, in the words of Judith Martin, a.k.a. Miss Manners, "snub you while allowing both of you to retain your dignity."

In other words, according to Miss Manners, it allows the invitee not to have to turn down more than two invitations before the inviter gets the message and quits asking. Which, when you think about it, ultimately saves everyone's time and feelings. With the small additional benefit of preventing civilization from descending into chaos.

One caveat. I wouldn't recommend trying this with friends, they'll never let you get away with it.

Do you ever do weeknight dinner parties? Everyone has to eat anyway, so why not make it fun? Keep it low key and easy to clean up with Jennings' quick, yummy recipe for the grill:

Jennings' Grilled Herb Shrimp

2 large shallots, coarsely chopped

1 cup chopped fresh parsley

1 cup chopped basil

1 cup chopped fresh fennel fronds

1 teaspoon dry mustard

2 teaspoons kosher salt

1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper

1/4 cup good olive oil

Juice of one lime

2 pounds raw jumbo shrimp, peeled (tails left on) and deveined

Combine the shallots, parsley, basil, fennel fronds, dry mustard, salt, pepper, olive oil, and lime juice. Add the shrimp, refrigerate and allow them to marinate for at least 1 hour. Prepare a charcoal grill with hot coals, and brush the grilling rack with oil to prevent the shrimp from sticking. Skewer the shrimp, 3 per 10" skewer for cocktails, more if serving as an entree. Grill the shrimp for about 1 1/2 minutes each side or until done.

5 Simple Ways to Change a Bad Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 17 Jul 2013 18:47:00 +0000

Joseph Campbell said that we are the hero of our own story. It is so easy to lose sight of that when a day isn't going well. But sometimes it just takes one small act of heroism (and faith) to make the day change direction. Pick one and let me know how it turns out...

1. If you see someone struggling today-- with a package, a door, a math problem, a lane change-- stop what you're doing and help them right now.

2. If you have something that you need less than someone else does at this moment, give it to them right now.

During a protest in Brazil, a General said, "Do not fight. Please, not on my birthday." Then a group of protesters made a surprise for him.

3. Holding a grudge is exhausting. Think of a grudge you're lugging around and say "Bygones!" Just let it go. Whew. Even better- call up that person and reconnect right now.

A firefighter giving oxygen to a kitten rescued from a house fire

4. Think of a talent you have, something that comes easy to you but might not be so easy for others. Now think of someone near you that needs that skill or advice, and offer it right now.

via Pinterest Dela Dream

5. Think of someone you are thankful for, and tell them right now.

And last, here's a story I read today:

A grandfather was talking with his grandson and he said, "In each of us there live two wolves who are fighting. One is anger, envy, regret, greed, lying, annoyance, impatience, self-pity, guilt, superiority, false-pride, and ego.

The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, forgiveness, serenity, humility, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

"Which one will win?" asked the grandson.

"The one you feed," said the old man.

America the Beautiful

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Fri, 05 Jul 2013 02:25:00 +0000

The flag of the United States of America should be lighted at all times, either by sunlight or by an appropriate, dedicated light source.

The flag is flown in fair weather, unless the flag is designed for inclement weather use, called a "Storm Flag."

The flag should never be dipped to any person or thing. It is flown upside down only as a distress signal.

The flag should not be used for general decorating, such as a tablecloth, napkins, pillow, wall hanging or quilt. Bunting of blue, white and red stripes may be used for these purposes. The blue stripe of the bunting should be on the top.

The flag should never be used for any advertising purpose.

It should not be embroidered, printed or otherwise impressed on such articles as cushions, handkerchiefs, paper goods, boxes or anything intended to be discarded after temporary use.

Advertising signs should not be attached to the staff or halyard.

The flag should not be used as clothing, or as a part of a costume or athletic uniform. A flag patch may be used on the uniform of military personnel, fireman, policeman and members of patriotic organizations.

The flag should never have any mark, insignia, letter, word, number, figure, or drawing of any kind placed upon it, or attached to it.

The flag should never be used for receiving, holding, carrying, or delivering anything.

When the flag is lowered, no part of it should touch the ground or any other object, and it should be received by waiting hands and arms.

To store the flag, it should be folded neatly and ceremoniously.

The flag should be cleaned and mended when necessary.

When a flag is so worn that it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of our country, it should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner.

Please learn more about the United States Flag Code and American Flag Etiquette, here.

Have a very happy 4th of July!

from

Jennings & Gates

Images all Hudson River School Artists: 1. Hudson River School, 1863 via David Crochet, Pinterest 2. The Grand Canyon, Thomas Moran, 1898 3. Yellowstone, Thomas Moran, 1898 4. Thomas Cole 5. Frederick Edwin Church 6. Watkins Glen, James Hope 7. William Stanley Hasseltine 8. Albert Bierdstadt 9. Skaters by the Mill, Regis Francois Gignoux 10. Twilight in the Wilderness, Fredric Edwin Church 1860 11. Jasper Cropsey 12. Children of the Mountain, Thomas Moran 13. Waterfall in Yosemite, Thomas Moran 13. Frederick Edwin Church

Summering

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Fri, 28 Jun 2013 18:12:00 +0000

I joined ROTC my junior year of college to become an Army officer,

to the perplexity of my parents and the amusement of my friends.

"You realize," said my mother, "that the Army largely operates in the Out Of Doors environment, don't you?"

I can relate now, dear reader, that the Army not only operates in the Out of Doors environment, it operates in the does-anyone-realize-it-is-the-middle-of-the-night? environment, and the freezing your a-- off environment, the hey those guys are shooting at us environment, the I have walked so far I can no longer feel my feet environment, the be mindful of water snakes and alligators environment, and, worst of all,

the really, really bad coffee environment.

One friend told me that he had always wanted to join the army. "Unfortunately, I can't," he said.

"Why not?"

"I don't like being hot and sweaty."

"What about summer, you love summer?"

"I like summer when it involves a pool."

"The Army has pools."

"Yes, if one enjoys swimming fully clothed, with a 120-pound rucksack and a crew-served weapon."

"Good point."

So somehow (brainwashing?) I went from avoiding the Out of Doors Environment at all costs

to being the girl who is rarely ever indoors. Best thing I ever did.

How about you? What are your plans for the summer?

Images: Pinterest 1. via Penelope Bianchi and AD Pauline de Rothschild 2. via Penelope Bianchi, Pinterest and New York Times 3. via Penelope Bianchi, Pinterest and Little Augury 4. via Pinterest 5. via Wendy Posard and Pinterest 6. Via Penelope Bianchi, Pinterest 7. via David Fuller Pinterest 8. via Melissa Smith, Southern by the Grace of God blog 9. David Fuller Pinterest 10. via Nancy Bynum and Being Southern, Pinterest

Is that....?

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 27 Jun 2013 14:12:00 +0000

a 28-foot labrador retriever lifting his leg on the Orange County Museum of Art?

Okay, so this is a little outside the usual Jennings & Gates scope, but it made me laugh this morning. (And it might strike a note with Jennings too, as Mr. Darcy is showing a slight resistance to house-training.)

As you can imagine, this was a resounding hit with kids.

It might be a commentary on the nutty nature of dogs, or the architecture of the building, which apparently is not well-liked, or it might have something to do with the Richard Jackson retrospective that was being shown at the same time. In any case, the museum board obviously had an open mind and a sense of humor. The sculpture is by artist Richard Jackson, and is appropriately titled, "Bad Dog." Read more here.

Leaning Toward Love

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Tue, 25 Jun 2013 20:40:00 +0000

There is a wonderful article at Oprah online by the brilliant Martha Beck, about minimizing regrets in our lives.

Here are some pictures that have influenced my week and a story my sister-in-law related to me a few years ago.

My nephew had studied hard and performed well on entrance exams with the happy consequence that he was accepted to both a famous Big-10 State university a few minutes away from home that some of his friends were attending, and a small private university with excellent academics, located 1200 miles from home.

“Mom,” he said, in the car on the way home from yet another college visitation, “I just can’t decide. What do you think I should do?”

Reluctant to influence his decision, she told him that he was fortunate, because either school would be a fine choice, although each would provide a significantly different experience. This, my nephew thought, was stating the obvious.

Which is, I hear, something that mothers find themselves doing a lot of in the course of motherhood.

But then she said something that changed everything for him. She said, “Son, I support your decision either way, but if you are leaning toward the school close to home because you are afraid to go away, I can tell you one thing for sure, in this family we don’t make decisions like that based on fear. Choose the school that tugs at your heart, not the one you’re least afraid of.”

As fate would have it, the phone was ringing at home as they walked in the door. My nephew answered the phone and accepted the invitation of the small school in Texas, where he did indeed have a fine experience, and met his future wife as well.

In her article, Ms. Beck says that when she recalls the biggest regrets of her life, all of them were the result of fear-based decisions. Her most significant regrets never followed a choice based purely on love.

“In the cases where my motivations were a mix of love and fear,” she says, “it was always the fear-based component that left me fretful and regretful.”

I had to learn that the hard way. I too have lost a lot of sleep for love--I’ve worried about a soldier far away in foreign places. I’ve stayed up with friends comforting defeats and celebrating victories, and I've never regretted any choice that, as Martha says, “brought me one moment of love.”

How about you?

This is quite possibly the ultimate life lesson:

"Every time life leads you to a crossroads, from the tiniest to the most immense, go toward love, not away from fear.”

She very wisely encourages us to “think of every choice in terms of ‘What would thrill and delight me?’ rather than ‘What will keep my fear—or the events, people, and things I fear—at bay?’"

A friend shared that the last time he ever dreaded changing a diaper was when his wife said to him, not unkindly, "Give him to me. It should be an honor to spend time with your son."

It is easy of course, when the choice is clear, but what about when the decision is more fraught with anxiety?

She uses as an example, that sweet dog at the pound who you want to rescue, but then worry about upkeep pushes away the “first sparks of love, and leaves you without a four-footed friend.”

The Interior Archive via Benjamin Bradley, Pinterest

We might long for success in our career but avoid the leaps necessary to achieve it.

We might wish to speak up for the oppressed, but panic at the risk of looking foolish.

Kennedy Photography, via Pinterest

Or want to do the right thing, but worry it will be hard or that someone might take advantage of us.

What does love say you should do? For me, I have learned that if I lean toward love, I will make better choices and have fewer regrets.

How about you?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

Hello, Gorgeous! Giveaway Results

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 22:48:00 +0000

Congratulations to Mary, who won a set of 8 beautiful placemats in Auriculus from Sandra McFarland and HP Designs! Thanks Sandra, that was fun.

Tell Me About It

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 18:03:00 +0000

"I get up every morning determined

to both change the world and

have one hell of a good time.

Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult."

-E.B. White

Presenting...Mr. Darcy

noreply@blogger.com (Jennings and Gates) — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 02:49:00 +0000

Mr. Darcy's tail

"Sit, Mr. Darcy."

"Stay."

"Or... not."

The Place Where Mr. Darcy Was Just a Second Ago

"He was just here a second ago."

Three-quarters of Mr. Darcy and Three-quarters of Jennings' shoe

"Oh, almost!"

"Try putting him in the foliage?"

Mr. Darcy's tail and rear end

"That didn't slow him down much."

Mr. Darcy attacking Jennings' shoelace

"Wow, I forgot how sharp puppy teeth are."

"Maybe I'll just pick him up."

"Perfect."

Presenting Mr. Darcy, Jennings' new puppy. He is a very energetic 10-week old Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. His color is called Blenheim, after the 1st Duke of Marlborough, who kept red and white King Charles type spaniels for hunting. Winston is reserving judgement, but hopefully they will be great friends!

Favorite Puppy and Dog Be-friending books:

The Monks of New Skete have been breeding, raising, and training German Shepherds for more than thirty years at their Cambridge, New York, monastery. Their perennial bestseller, How to Be Your Dog’s Best Friend, is considered a classic in the dog-training field. First published in 1978, and completely revised and updated in 2002, the book has brought the Monks international acclaim for their successful mixture of discipline and love. Their second book, The Art of Raising a Puppy, was also a bestseller. Together, the two titles have sold close to one million copies.