Jen's Guide to Life

Pertinacious Spirit

2012-09-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met someone who - despite all odds and obstacles - hangs in there and always bounces back no matter the situation or circumstances? These folks are the Pertinacious. Have you ever watched the Film "What about Bob?" Bob - although not without issue is quite pertinacious (admittedly in a way his therapist is appalled and annoyed by)of course this is what also makes the film funny. I'm not suggesting you be pertinacious in stalking. I am suggesting you should be pertinacious in the pursuit of your dreams.

Take time to figure out what your dreams are and then start moving in that direction, a step at a time each day getting a closer than the day before. It helps to sit quietly in the morning and visualize how it will feel to achieve your dream. See yourself there and keep moving in that direction - when you know the what, you will figure out the how. Once you have the basic idea of the how, you can break it into a series of daily tasks.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

A few words on what it means to be shameless

2012-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

I have been considering this since I began to explore what wildly passionate, happy and successful people do that others do not. What gets in the way of spreading the word?

What gives you pause to consider and not put yourself out there? Why do we hesitate before clicking the send button on an email? Why do we shudder at the thought we could be criticized or judged harshly? Deep inside our hearts and minds, somewhere there is a monster lurking, he whispers in our ears telling us that if we do that the world will not approve.

So we hesitate, we stop, we think-twice as we were taught to do as kids and we shrink away from the risk of putting ourselves out there. We find an excuse, a crutch to lean on and we let the dream die, the lights go out and we draw the curtain and go back to our hiding place or move on to the next thing. If we really think about it long and hard enough we see how foolish it is to listen to anything other than our Highest Self (who also whispers but is drowned out by the monster).

The Highest Self whispers "You can do it, just try, it could be great, people will love you" We need to listen to this voice more often. Why we don't is simply a matter of habit. We are not in the habit of succeeding and we are not in the habit of believing that we can succeed. We don't often look at our successful side; we don't give enough energy to that part of ourselves that experiences little successes every single day.

Everything you do has an outcome, sometimes it is favorable, and sometimes it is painful. The ones that are painful seem to make a bigger and longer-lasting impression and we cling to those. It is actually the opposite of what we should do. The question now is how do we amplify the whisper of the Highest Self so that it becomes the Battle-cry of the Warrior and can drown out the whisper of the monster? It takes practice and a pertinacious spirit.

Build on and celebrate daily small successes and keep building on them day after day. A way that I do this is I write myself a target list each night before falling asleep, I review it in the morning and I focus on how it will feel to get all or most of it accomplished.

It starts by little changes like going for a walk everyday and then each day going just a bit farther than you did the day before. Learning a few new words in a different language each day and practice them on your family and friends. *Hint* Google translate is awesome for this because it says the word out loud so you can hear how it is pronounced.

Shameless does not mean you are never ashamed - shameless means you are able to shake-off the entire negative and become more mindful and decisive in your actions.
We all have a past, we have all done and failed to do things that we would have chosen to do differently if we had taken the time to think it through. It also means you must be willing to put yourself out there and risk rejection over and over again.
Rejection can be painful; you don't have to live there. If we break-down every time someone rejects us, well we will never accomplish anything worthwhile.

I listened to a talk by Brene` Brown on Shame and I'm including the link for you here.

Daily Dose of Inspiration

2012-09-06T08:03:00.000-07:00

While composing my book, I re-discovered art and artistry. Lately I am wanting to attend art shows and support artists projects on a larger scale. It is as if my curious side has reawakened and is egging me on to explore. So for today I will follow that calling and go off on an adventure with my camera. Who knows what I'll discover.

Book I am reading this week~

Find me on Hubpages

2012-09-05T21:18:00.001-07:00

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HubPages

Add a little music to your day..

2012-09-05T17:25:00.000-07:00

Amazon.com Widgets

Back to School Shopping with Teens

2012-08-22T10:00:00.000-07:00

Shopping with teens is sometimes tricky. The teenage years are when our kids start discovering their uniqueness and experimenting with different styles. My youngest child (13) has recently expressed a desire to dye her hair blond. Parents walk a fine line between being needed and being pushed away. Teens need more emotional support and bonding with family and friends during this crucial time in their lives. As parents we need to understand and support them, yet leave them alone when they pull-away and need space.

Back-to- School shopping is a whole new experience with a teen. Sometimes they hate what you love and you hate what they love, this is natural, albeit frustrating. The best way to handle these differences in style and taste are to council and conciliate. Be a friend, yet be firm. Discourage bad choices without being overly critical by making a joke. Ask why they choose the item, which will give you insight enough to help guide and make suggestions.

Tips for a successful Back-to-School shopping trip are:

1. Let them know the budget and work together to stay within it.

2. Compromise, you may not like all of their choices but be sure to accentuate the positive choices and let them know why “Purple is a great color on you, it compliments your eyes.”

3. You still have final say over what is purchased, if you feel something is too inappropriate just let them know that you are not going to buy it. Suggest they can buy it with their own money (if they have savings or a job).

4. Post shopping lunch or dinner. Choose a place you both enjoy. If you tell them know ahead of time, it may be a great incentive for them to be more mindful and compliant with what they know you will approve, it can also help complete the trip in a reasonable amount of time by encouraging decisiveness.

Happy Back-to-School Shopping! See the offer below to save 20% on your purchase and free shipping.

I am a published author and accomplishing this dream feels amazing!

2012-08-20T11:20:00.002-07:00

It happened when I decided that I needed to forget about everything and simply follow my hearts deepest desire. Today at thirty-nine years young, the demands on my time have decreased. It took me a little while to adjust to my new, quieter lifestyle. The state I was in is sometimes referred to as empty nest syndrome. My mind and emotions began to haywire on me and I found myself in an endless swirl and twirl of negative thinking that just about drove me to suicide.

It was the suicidal thoughts that frightened me most. Somewhere deep inside I knew I would never take my own life but I needed to find a way to turn things around. I was not this person, I was a happy go lucky chick who always found enough strength and energy to help myself and those I love through anything. I was a spiritual person who knew how to go inside myself and turn things around.

I sought more positive messages, began to take care of my health and my body, and set aside quiet time each day to meditate. I did a lot of reading on my favorite sites and found the messages I needed in articles, and on blogs. I went back in my mind to the times I felt the happiest and began to allow that happiness to fill me up each day.

The question I asked over and over was who are you on a purely soul level? The answer was a loving and caring human being, who is capable of many things and can master any task with ease. Each day a new answer would crop up and I would embrace it. I am comfortable in my own skin, I like to try new things, I can take risks and make mistakes without letting those things diminish me. I began to treat myself with a greater sense of respect and dignity.

I just completed my first dream project, bigger than anything I had dared to dream before, the stepping stone for an unlimited and abundant life. Change is good. Different is good. The journey is exhilarating. I am free!

You can order a copy of my book here

Three Advantages of Prepaid Debit Cards

2012-07-02T13:04:00.002-07:00

Lately I have encountered many people who are using pre-paid debit cards to pay for online purchases. I am naturally curious so I began asking people why they didn't just open a bank account. I found the answers a little surprising:

Disciplined Spending:

One friend told me she likes this option because it limits the amount of money she can spend. She pre-loads the card according to her budget and it ensures she only spends the amount allocated. I thought this was an excellent way to control the budget and stay within it. This friend does have a traditional account at a credit union which she uses for direct deposit of her paychecks and auto-matic bill pay. Smart chick if you ask me.

Hates Banks:

I have another friend on the opposite end of the spectrum. This friend absolutely abhors banks and the ways in which they charge you to babysit money. Now he would rather donate each paycheck to charity (which he cannot afford to do with kids to feed) then put one cent in a bank account or have to ever set foot inside a Bank Branch. Another unique perspective. I will say that he lives life by his own rules, pays his bills on time and spends the rest on weekend BBQ's or get togethers whenever he feels like it. He is your average family man doing all he can. Lives a good life cause he appears to enjoy it.

Paranoid about theft - with cause:

My last friend shared that she uses these cards because one, she doesn't trust her roommates - she is afraid they could get a hold of her banking info and siphon money out of her account. I've met her roommates and it becomes very clear why she would feel this way. Did I mention she changes cards frequently in case they happened somehow get a hold of the card? Now this scenario does not seem as wise, however, I will say that it works for her and that's really all that matters. I imagine this would work well for anyone needing to keep their money in their own control.

Conclusion: I have a traditional bank account; I put my money in for the bills and pay the money right back out. If someone were to try and steal my money, they would be in for a sorry surprise. If you are like anyone of my friends or if you can't open a Bank account a pre-paid card may be just what you need.

It is a Big World and a Big life - get out there and live it...

2012-05-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am back!!! Truth be told, I was never really gone - I just went into hiding for a while. It wasn't a good idea for me to do some reflecting and some work on me. So I did. I'll never measure up to the standards that some people set (everyone has their own ideas and opinions) yet I'm good with who I am right now and who I am becoming. If you are putting yourself out there you will always have critics and haters and those who want to drag you down. At the same time, you will have great friends who will support, love, and lift you up. Those are the relationships you should be looking to cultivate and grow. The human experience is amazing as long as we keep our thoughts positive, know where we are going and stay and surround ourselves with positive people.

The negative thinking people will eventually either come around to your way of thinking, or disappear from your life. It is a great help to remember to concentrate on contributing something positive to the world, and those around you, each and every day. When your outlook on life changes possibilities begin to show themselves and your heart opens. It's helpful to have some pretty lofty goals to motivate you. I still do - for now those are kept in my journal. Once I meet or exceed them - I'll share them. We are all made for greatness; we have to cultivate that in ourselves first before we can help anyone else.

In the words of the great Wayne Dwyer “Self-actualized people are independent of the good opinion of others.”

Hunger Games...Go See it

2012-04-03T20:00:00.002-07:00

The Hunger Games in IMAX for One Week Only! Buy Tickets Now

Read a Review or two

Love conquers all..

2012-01-04T19:41:00.000-08:00

It is a truth in my life. When I look back on the past few months I see what was at the heart of all of my contempt for the world and everyone in it. It was a pretty alarming realization that I hadn't given much, if any effort to love ~ not to myself, not to others. I was too busy just trying to get through my life day after day. I never actually gave any thought to it at all.

Now that doesn't mean I didn't love anyone - it just means I did not focus on the energy of love and all of the good that brings with it. It wasn't until I actually stopped and allowed myself to focus on that love and energy of love that it took hold. It is amazing how this transforms mind, body and spirit.

Happy 2012 ~ Emphasis on the Happy

2012-01-01T22:50:00.000-08:00

I think it has been pretty evident that there are area's of my life that were a bit out of whack for a while. I have spent so much time in chaos and fear in the last few months and it just drained so much of my life energy.

I am approaching the New Year with a fresh perspective. One of love, peace, and forgiveness. I have been bitter, resentful, angry for far to long. I let it seep into every area of my life and even affect my self-esteem on some level.

I am not this person and I do not want to ever see her again. I have to come from a different place - a more loving and peaceful place. I recognized that I need to change and let go of all negative thought processes that have taken a strong hold and made me their prisoner for so long.

It felt good to let it all go. Time to focus on what is truly important in life. Life is too short and I want to make sure I am around for my children and Grandchildren far into the future. $50 discount

Christmas without you, Dad

2011-12-13T17:41:00.000-08:00

I always miss my Dad the most at this time of year, he was a big kid at heart. The first few years after he passed, I couldn't listen to any Christmas music at all because, for me that was the emotional link to my Dad. Thanksgiving Day every year Dad would pull out the Christmas Albums (yes back then it was vinyl) and get us all psyched up for Christmas. Dad loved Christmas as much as we did. I think for him it provided an opportunity to relive his childhood. So my Blog post today is dedicated to my Dad ~ Noone every loves you quite the way your Daddy does.

Happy Black Friday!

2011-11-25T11:06:00.000-08:00

Overrated is the only way I can describe the Black Friday Craze. I see it as akin to playing the lottery. I worked in retail so I am very well aware that there are such a limited no of items that are On Sale at awesome prices.

My advice is, unless you are in the first part of that line (100 people or less) - turn around and go home - you will never see that 46" TV for $300 bucks. You may as well just go play the lottery instead. Unless you go shopping for the sheer thrill of shopping - which I suspect a lot of people do. Me personally, even if they were handing out $100 dollar bills, you will not catch me getting up at 4am to stand in line for three~plus~hours to get them. I'm not that patient. I say stay home and put up the tree.

For those of you who love it, I'm sure you have your reasons. Have a Fun and safe Shopping Day!

2011-10-20T22:29:00.001-07:00

Just read a great book on Grattitude...

2011-03-28T15:39:00.000-07:00

I will share it with you here via a link to Amazon. It is inexpensive - but the message is so powerful. I have been feeling particularly grateful since we moved into our new apartment and the book just seems to have come along at the perfect time for me. At the beginning of last week, the house closed and that put an end to a long chapter in our lives. It was a little bittersweet. I was happy to have it come to a close, at the same time there was a huge sense of finality, I can never go back and walk through that door again.

There was also a sense of panic - what if I forgot something, although I know I probably didn't.
So enjoy the book, and if you do buy and read it come back and tell me what you think.
Toodles...

Exciting Milestone...

2011-02-23T16:36:00.000-08:00

My Article 10 tips to battle winter blues was picked up for distribution by AT&T. I am so excited!! It is a small success, but an important one. It gives me hope about my future as a writer. Now, I wasn't paid a fortune for the distribution, but I did receive a nominal bonus. If it leads to more exposure for my article, that is worth it. I am inspired now, to write more articles.

More to follow...

Hearts Afire....

2011-02-14T10:31:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day! A day to celebrate those you love, for me that is my family. My son bought me and my girls Valentine hearts yesterday. So sweet and thoughtful of him. I am blessed with great kids and a wonderful husband. We are blossoming in our new life and I have faith it will only get better from here on in. I have to start planning a really great event for my older two's birthday's next month. They are turning 18 and 16 - so kinda a big deal. I want to plan something that will knock their socks off. No idea's yet.

Curled up on my new sofa enjoying my new life...

2011-02-08T15:25:00.000-08:00

I still feel like it is all a dream. We all feel like we are in heaven in the new place. Every room is carpeted including the stairs with the exception of only the kitchen and bathrooms. No more creeking noises when anyone comes down or goes up the stairs.

The disposer and dishwasher and oven all work. It smells of fresh paint - ever so slightly. Everyone is committed to doing their part and keeping everything in it's proper place. I can cook and bake and clean to my hearts desire. We are all toasty warm.

Sadly enough, it is almost as though we forgot what it was like in a place where everything works, and should something break, we just call and the maintenance crew will come and fix it. This is the way life should be.

I know I didn't get here alone My Investor trusting me with the work and paying me accordingly and my husband too all played a huge roll in our transition. God brought him into our lives when we were searching for someone to work with who had integrity. We had been played so many times before, but this time was the real deal.

We will always be loyal to our benefactor and anything he needs in the business - we will be there to do.

Feeling Miserable...

2010-12-06T07:07:00.000-08:00

I've come down with something. I feel terrible, achy, sore throat, headache. Yuck. I can barely get out of bed. Massive amounts of Vitamin C, Green Tea with honey, and bedrest should help flush this out - unfortunatly it isn't working as fast as I'd like.

Thanksgiving Thoughts...

2010-11-15T06:31:00.000-08:00

Hubby and I went out window shopping yesterday. Checking out some furniture and things we will purchase when we get ready to move. We looked at some really beautiful oriental rugs, and some pretty nice furniture.
I was hoping to be settled into a nice new place by Thanksgiving. Looks like that won't happen. On a more positive note our own property has had a few showings last week. I really hope we get at least one workable offer.

I really want to move, I want to be settled again. I feel so unsettled with everything just up in the air. I'm trying not to focus on that and remain focused on what I want to happen. I'm still excited about Thanksgiving. I am particularly excited about the extended weekend, I can just chill with Hubby and the kids, my favorite thing to do. Wednesday night I will bake the Banana, Cinnamon and other quick breads and Thursday am we will have a nice breakfast of them.

It's about being together, who knows if we will have many more family Thanksgivings. Austin will leave for boot camp in June, and after that we won't be able to as easily predict where he will be. I want to enjoy this Thanksgiving and celebrate together. Hope you all have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. I already know how much I have to be Thankful for.

Focus back on family

2010-10-13T06:21:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Admir and I took the girls to see Legends of the Guardians in 3-D. The movie is fantastic, but it was the sense that we are getting back to what's most important to us as a family that felt really great. Spending time together, having fun and connecting. Have you hugged your family today?

Making a few extra bucks from my kitchen table

2010-10-13T05:50:00.000-07:00

In addition to the income I earn as a real estate apprentice, I write and read articles for various websites. I am fully aware that doing so will not make me filthy rich tomorrow, but I can earn a little extra cash for special projects now and then. I sell some stuff on EBay, I read articles at Readbud and I post product and other reviews at Epinions. I also write articles for Associated Content from time to time. These things provide me with a little pocket change and give me a sense of accomplishment.

http://www.readbud.com/?ref=4359272