Jerri's Empty Nest

By Request

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 18 Jun 2013 17:52:00 +0000

Today's post is a bit longer than usual. According to my English Comp professor...my latest essay would be a perfect blog post. Here it is. Here's to you, Mrs. M.!!!

What is Loneliness?

Loneliness is the lack of the human touch. It is living each and every day without the human contact that is critical to survival. Loneliness is going to bed every night without a kiss good night. It is the lack of a hug when you are hurting and the absence of warmth when you are cold.

Loneliness is having no one to tell your stories. There is no one to listen when you get home from work, and you need to vent about the horrid driver who cut you off on the way to work that morning. Loneliness is watching television alone, and there is no one to share the joke in a comedy or to grab your hand during a scary movie.

Loneliness hits at the oddest times. It will rear its ugly head when you are carrying in the groceries, and there is no one to help with the heavy stuff. It appears when there is that one jar in the pantry that you just cannot get open no matter what. Loneliness is having no one to tell you if your new perfumes stinks or if that skirt is really too tight.

You do not have to be alone to be lonely. Loneliness can be staring across the table at your partner, and you do not have a single thing to say. It can also be having something to say, but your partner is not interested in hearing it. Loneliness can be living with someone day in and day out for years, and you are wondering why you are there. Loneliness can be someone taking you for granted to the point that you feel like a piece of furniture. It feels like you are the wallpaper in a room that no one bothers to glance at; you are a vital component, and no one notices that you are there.

Loneliness can take you so deep inside yourself that even those who wish to reach you cannot reach that far. Loneliness can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It can become a never-ending spiral. Loneliness can become your beginning and your end. You begin to structure your life around your loneliness, and it perpetuates itself.

Loneliness can be directly caused by a loss. Loneliness is reaching out to the other side of the bed, and there is no longer anyone there. It is reaching for the phone and remembering no one will answer. There is no greater outward expression of loneliness than kneeling before a tombstone and pouring out your heart. It is the grandchildren you will never have, and it is the life events you will never witness.

The search for the cure can take many forms. Some pursue the company of others with an almost manic need for human contact. Others withdraw into themselves, fearing that any contact will fall short of their expectations. This belief leads them to fortify their walls of loneliness to avoid any possible hurt. Either scenario can have far worse consequences than loneliness itself.

If loneliness is your cross to bear, reach out. You do not need the company of thousands. One person will do. Once you have connected with one person, others will come. If you know someone suffering, reach out. You may be the hand that pulls one from the pit that is loneliness. Loneliness does not need to be the primary force in your life. There are options, and there is a way back.

Love,

Jerri

Flag Day

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:44:00 +0000

Gratitude

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 12:39:00 +0000

Remember way back when Oprah persuaded a large number of women in this country to keep a gratitude journal? Did any of you actually do it?

I'll admit...I tried. I actually kept up with it for a week or two, but then it fell by the wayside. Life got in the way and my natural ability to forget everything including my name kicked in.

One thing I learned...say thank you immediately. Let the people you are thankful to and for know that fact as soon as possible. There is no need to write in a journal. Say it. Keeping a personal list may serve as a reminder to you, but that doesn't translate to the people you are grateful for.

A book hidden away in your nightstand drawer won't tell the people in your life that you appreciate them. A sincere thank you from you to them will.

Assignment for today? Thank someone. We all have someone we owe thanks. For today, pick just one and say thank you. No need to run out and buy a journal. A phone call, a Facebook post, a notecard, or an email will do. Do it now.

Love,
Jerri

My Favorite Parable

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:48:00 +0000

A minister was out one day visiting his parishioners. Stopping by Mrs. Smith's home, he spent a goodly portion of the visit listening to her complaints about her neighbor, Mrs. Jones. Mrs. Smith went on and on about the faults of Mrs. Jones. Looking out the window, Mrs. Smith exclaimed, "Look, she can't even do laundry! Do you see how dirty it is?" Following her gaze, the minister gazed out the window and admitted to himself that, yes, the laundry did appear a bit dirty.

Wrapping up his visit with Mrs. Smith, the minister headed over to Mrs. Jones' home. Answering his knock at the door, Mrs. Jones greeted him with a smile. Settling in for a chat, the minister was impressed with her gentle nature. Mrs. Jones expressed her concern over Mrs. Smith and the disconnect between them. It saddened her and she ws confused as to the source of the animosity. Glancing out the window, the minister was amazed to see her laundry, now gleaming a bright white.

Are you looking out a dirty window or are your windows sparkling clean? Personally, I have days when my windows are dirtier than others. In addition, we all have those in our lives who seem to live with perpetually dirty windows. Their words seem to be constantly colored with discontent. It hides sometimes behind "well-meaning" advice, "just kidding", or "just saying". Some don't bother to hide it at all. Their words are blatantly filled with hate and anger. You cannot be responsible for someone else's windows. All you can do is make sure your own offer a clear view. With that clear view comes kindness and compassion.

Wishing you sparkling, clean windows...

Love,
Jerri

Complete Randomness

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Mon, 10 Jun 2013 16:07:00 +0000

A few thoughts that have been bouncing around in my head lately...

1. There is no such thing as "boneless" chicken wings. They are the exact same chicken nuggets your kids and grandkids are eating. You can call them any fancy name you want...but they are still chicken nuggets. Own it.

2. It is not "Obama", "Bush", "Clinton", or "Reagan". It is President Obama, President Bush, President Clinton, and President Reagan. You don't have to like or respect the man. Respect the office. Do not complain about the lack of respect from the younger generation when this is the poor example you set.

3. Why does "America's Got Talent" only have one American judge along with a Canadian, a Brit, and a German? Do we not even have enough talent to fill out the judges' panel?

4. Who's brilliant idea was it to attach a name to every snowstorm? The alphabet isn't long enough!!

5. For that matter, if there is no actual weather event happening; I firmly believe the Weather Channel should default to your local radar screen.

6. Facebook will NOT donate a dollar for every share of a picture of some poor, mutilated child. You have been told this is a hoax a multitude of times. Knock it off!!

7. Why is coffee not available in IV bags?

8. Why is chocolate not available in IV bags?

9. The most precious gift you can give a child is that of reading. With reading, doors open and new worlds appear. The journey is endless.

10. [Insert your random thought here.]

Love,
Jerri

Menu Planning

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Sat, 08 Jun 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Instead of a recipe this Saturday, I thought I would share a link to a handy service I use in the kitchen. Visit here to take a look at the menu planners. They are printable, downloadable, and free!

Menu planning saves time, money, and aggravation. The additional downloads of grocery lists and inventory lists save you from that last minute panic when your recipe is half-made and you realize you've run out of a key ingredient. And we all know what that feels like!

Take a little time this weekend and give menu planning a try. Don't overwhelm yourself by attempting a month your first time out. Do just one week. Make your grocery list and organize your recipes. Eventually you will have a multitude of weeks built up that you can rotate. If your family only sees a particular dish every few weeks, they'll never get tired of it!!

Be creative. Include different types of meat and vegetables in each week. It's your menu...have fun!!

Enjoy!!

Love,
Jerri

Easy Savings

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Fri, 07 Jun 2013 06:00:00 +0000

The other day I was watching "Extreme Couponing" on TLC. In my wildest dreams, I can't picture myself achieving those kinds of savings. For one, I don't have forty hours a week to devote to the endeavor. I wish I did. But I do have a simple tip I use to garner some easy savings.

Did you know that the majority of dollar stores accept coupons? I'm talking the big ones...Family Dollar, Dollar General, and Dollar Tree. Yes, Dollar Tree. Where everything is only a dollar.

Look through the coupons in your Sunday paper. Pay attention in particular to those coupons for personal hygiene items. Why? These are the highest value coupons. Dollar Tree carries a large variety of personal hygiene items, many of them name-brands. If you have a coupon for 75 cents off, your purchase is only going to be a quarter.

At Family Dollar and Dollar General, your best bet is going to be paper goods and cleaning products. These stores regularly carry these items at discounted prices. When you use the manufacture coupons in addition to the discounted price, your savings accumulate quickly.

Sunday morning, look at those coupons in a new light. Keep in mind the products you've seen at your local dollar stores. The savings are yours for the taking!!

Love,
Jerri

6603

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Thu, 06 Jun 2013 12:39:00 +0000

What is 6603? It is the number of Americans who lost their lives on D-Day. June 6, 1944 was one of the deadliest days for the American military. While this actual date is rapidly receding in to history, it is our duty and our privilege as citizens of the United States to remember and honor the sacrifices made by those who came before. In humble observance, we thank them.

Writer's Block

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Wed, 05 Jun 2013 23:46:00 +0000

Today I had an assignment that really threw me for a loop. I had to write an essay. Yep, I had to write. You would think that would be a breeze for me. But no....I sat staring at a blank screen for hours!

Why? The essay had to be narrative. Writing dialogue is NOT something I do on a daily basis. Or a monthly basis, or a yearly basis, etc. I had no idea how much I would struggle with it.

I didn't struggle with the actual words; in fact, I used a real-life situation. I had a much more difficult time writing the words surrounding the dialogue. What we say doesn't just hang out there in a vacuum. There is a setting where they take place, there are emotions taking place behind the words, and there is a circumstance that prompted the dialogue. Those were the words I struggle to write.

This essay was a valuable lesson for me. Like many other aspiring writers, I hope I have the next great American novel in me somewhere. Now I can write the dialogue.

Love,
Jerri

Rewards

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 04 Jun 2013 16:56:00 +0000

I've come up with a new plan. I have piles of homework and needed some motivation to get through it.

I have a bag of Heath bites. After I complete each assignment, I eat one. Just one...I don't want to end up as big as a house! Nothing motivates me better than chocolate. I've already tried it once and it worked beautifully. Heath ranks right at the top of my list of favorites, followed closely by Almond Joy and Baby Ruth.

Looking at my assignment list for the next couple of weeks, I think I need to head over to Amazon. Surely, I can order them by the pallet load from there!

If I'm not here...I'm buried in a book! Y'all behave while I'm gone!!

Love,
Jerri

A Little Bit Later

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Wed, 29 May 2013 20:11:00 +0000

If you follow my blog closely, you'll notice each day's post is getting later and later. Why? I'm back in school!

So far, I'm keeping up with all I have to do. I only have three classes this week but I add three more next week. Once that arrives, I am making no guarantees.

I'm glad to be back in school. I enjoy learning new things and meeting new people. I do spend the time before class observing people. It is quite interesting and this community college has a very diverse population.

I have always been a strong proponent of the school of thought that if you stop learning, you start dying. Here's to a long, long life!!

Love,
Jerri

Do It Now!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 28 May 2013 18:37:00 +0000

I observed an interesting phenomena today. I returned to school for the summer semester. As I walked to my morning class, I noticed a ridiculously long line in front of the business office.

One thing that stood out immediately was the age of the people in line. There wasn't a single one over the age of thirty. Is it a generational thing? Why did the older students have their bill paid and everything in order before the first day of school?

If there was one piece of wisdom I could pass on from my advanced age...it would be to DO IT NOW!! Life is short...too short to be standing in line! When you have issues to resolve with deadlines, get on them as soon as you can. Don't wait until the last minute or you will be joining those poor souls in that long line.

Get up, get moving, get it done!

Love,
Jerri

Today

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Mon, 27 May 2013 12:56:00 +0000

I am an active duty soldier standing guard this Memorial Day. My day is Armed Forces Day. Do not thank me today. Today is not my day.

I am a veteran who served with pride. My day is Veterans Day. Do not thank me today. Today is not my day.

I am a sailor at rest deep beneath the sea in the Arizona. Remember me today. Today is my day.

I am a soldier asleep in the fields of Normandy. I never made it home. Cry for me. Today is my day.

I am a pilot, unclaimed and alone, deep in the jungles of Southeast Asia. Mourn for me today. Today is my day.

I am a newlywed just flown home from Afghanistan. Comfort my bride as she weeps at my grave. Honor me today. Today is my day.

To all who have paid the ultimate price for the freedom in which we are blessed to live, we thank you. Today is your day.

Memorial Day 2013

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Mon, 27 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

It's not about the long weekend. It's not about the picnics and barbecues. It's not "Happy" Memorial Day. It IS about the men and women who paid the ultimate price for our freedom. We honor you today.

Saturday Chicken

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Sat, 25 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

An easy recipe that you can fix and forget!

Saturday Chicken

Ingredients:

4 chicken breasts or 6 chicken thighs
1 can Diet Coke
1 cup ketchup
Few dashes of hot sauce

Place all ingredients in your slow cooker. Cook on low for six hours.

Enjoy!!

Frugal Textbooks

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Fri, 24 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

As I've said, I'm taking a huge course load this summer. One of the textbooks I needed was $110!! I didn't have enough financial aid left after tuition to cover it. The actual cash? No way, no how!

I headed over to Amazon to see if I could find a used textbook I could afford. One thing about used books, not all of them qualify for Amazon Prime. I didn't want to pay as much for shipping as I did for the book; so I narrowed my search for just those available on Prime.

Found it!! There was a used book in good condition for $16. It also qualified for Amazon Prime. That meant free shipping and I would have it before class starts. Yay for me!!

Even better, I had earned enough Amazon gift cards from Swagbucks to pay for the book in full!! I earn the Swagbucks by answering polls, surveys, or watching videos. Easy as pie!

The textbook that would have cost me $110? Final cost=$0!!! Now that is the way to get your textbooks!

To join me on Swagbucks and earn your own Swagbucks for Amazon credit, click here.

Love,
Jerri

How I'm Spending My Summer Vacation

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Thu, 23 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Considering the fact that I will be in school for the rest of the summer, I though I would get a jump on the traditional end of summer essay. This is what my summer looks like:

Yep...six classes this semester! If you don't see me, or hear from me, or read anything I've written this summer; it is because these are my companions for the next two and half months. They are the ones I will be spending my days and nights with, my weekends too.

If you need me...you know where I'll be!!

Love,
Jerri

What A Morning!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Wed, 22 May 2013 14:08:00 +0000

Have you seen this picture making the rounds on social media?

This was my morning! My almost 16 year old black lab, Max slipped his collar on the morning walk today. Have you ever tried to corral a deaf, blind dog who is relishing his taste of freedom? Lord have mercy, it was an adventure! Or should I say misadventure?

Max took off like a bat out of hell. Who knew a dog that old could run that fast? And silly me...I'm yelling his name as loud as I can; knowing full well he can't hear me!

I know I won't have Max for much longer. To be honest...I'm glad he slipped his collar today. I'm glad he ran. I'm glad he had that freedom. Max, I love you!

Love,
Jerri

As Hard As I Can

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 21 May 2013 12:39:00 +0000

It Begins Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Mon, 20 May 2013 15:02:00 +0000

First thing this morning, I got myself in gear and headed to school. I was at the bookstore by 7:30 to pick up my books for the summer semester!

I can't believe my break is almost over. I feel like I didn't accomplish half of what I wanted to do and I'm still trying to fit in time for something fun!

I just keep reminding myself that there is a greater purpose...that I'm doing this to better myself and my life. And I keep reminding myself that as I deal with financial aid, admissions, the bookstore, etc., etc. etc.

I am carrying a massive load of classes this summer as I had the Pell grant available to pay for them. If you see me disappear again...it's because my head is stuck in my books!

But the semester hasn't started just yet...I'm here for now!!

Love,
Jerri

A Different Kind of Apple Juice

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Sat, 18 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

FOR ADULTS ONLY!!!

Apple Clear

Ingredients:

1 gallon pure apple juice
6 cinnamon sticks
1 jar apple jelly
1 quart Everclear

Directions:

Dissolve the apple jelly in the apple juice over low heat. Add cinnamon sticks and continue stirring until an apple pie smell is easily identified. DO NOT LET MIXTURE BOIL!! Remove from stove and allow to fully cool. Add Everclear and refrigerate.

Enjoy!!

Fast Thinking

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Fri, 17 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

The other day, I made an incredibly frugal dinner. How? I got lucky. I happened to be in the grocery store and pre-seasoned leg quarters were marked down to $2.50. Okay, there's the meat part of dinner...done! Wandering around the store, I also found chicken flavored noodles on sale for $1.00. One side...done! Using some vegetables I already had and some cookie mix I had won in a giveaway; I managed to put dinner for two on the table for under $5 dollars.

Does that happen all the time? No...though I wish it did. I used to pride myself on meals under $1 per serving. With the way prices have increased in the last decade or so, that is almost an impossibility now. But if you think fast when you find a great deal, you can still put a meal together for a frugal price.

Obviously, this will be more difficult for those that only eat organic, or paleo, or Atkins, or name-brand. My budget, quite honestly, does not allow for anything exotic!! But good, hot food is on the dinner table including a dessert. I do what I can with what I have.

All it really takes to make a frugal dinner? Fast thinking when you come across a bargain at the grocery store. I know all of you are excellent at that!!

Love,
Jerri

My First Time

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Thu, 16 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Alright, people...get your minds out of the gutter!! Not THAT first time! Seriously...what am I going to do with you??

Actually, last week was my first bone density test. For women over 50, it's a test to determine if we are suffering from, or beginning to suffer from osteoporosis or osteopenia.

I had never had the test before and was a bit apprehensive as I hadn't the slightest clue what it entailed. Turns out it was the easiest test ever! You simply lay on a bed and the dexa scanner moves over your body. It takes film of your lower back and hips as those are the first locations that show signs of bone loss.

Perfectly painless, it took only about fifteen minutes for the entire test. I don't have my results yet, but I do know I'm at a higher risk due to my smoking. Sigh...yes, I know better.

We'll see how it turns out! Stay tuned!

Love,
Jerri

UPDATE: Just received the phone call from the doctor. Thankfully, my spine is just fine. Hips? Not so much. I have osteopenia in both hips and I am at risk for fracture in both. Sigh...I'll be starting supplements to increase my Calcium and Vitamin D.

Generation Gap

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Wed, 15 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

One of the most noticeable things about my first semester in college was the obvious generation gap. I'm not speaking of just age (though that was DEFINITELY there!) but the difference in attitude.

I don't take this opportunity I've been given lightly. I treasure each second I'm in school and I realize the immense value of my education. I've been given the chance to start my life over again and I am deeply cognizant of the blessing in my life.

There were quite a few kids (meaning those in their early twenties) in my classes who seemed to treat that same opportunity as a joke. They frequently came to class late, slept through class, texted through class, or just didn't bother showing up at all. The general demeanor seemed to be that it just didn't matter.

As a mom, I seriously wanted to shake some sense in to them! I wanted them to know not to squander the chance. More than anything, I didn't want them to be me. I didn't want them to just be starting at age 50. Their entire life is ahead of them and this is the way it should begin.

Not all of the younger students fall in to this category. I met quite a few that realize how important education is and were working incredibly hard, all while working and raising children. Many of them were single mothers intent on bettering their lives and those of their children. It was awe inspiring.

One last note: For the love of all that is holy...do NOT go to school in pajama pants!!!

Love,
Jerri

Writing...I've missed you!

noreply@blogger.com (Jerrilynn Atherton) — Tue, 14 May 2013 06:00:00 +0000

Getting caught up in my first semester of college, blog posts were one of the things that fell by the wayside. I've missed it terribly!

Writing these blog posts offers me an opportunity to connect with people. It provides me an outlet for my thoughts, dreams, and fears. It allows me to share my frugal tips which I enjoy. I share my favorite recipes on Saturdays and am always thrilled when someone lets me know that dish was a success.

As I was going through my divorce, this blog provided a safe outlet for me to express myself. In doing so, I learned that so many other women had felt and dealt with the same things. Those writings connected me to women in a whole new way, providing a new sisterhood.

I have a bit of a short break between semesters. I plan on writing each and every day. I hope that when the summer semester begins, I will find it easier to handle schoolwork and this blog. Hopefully, I won't miss so many posts!

I'm glad to be back writing and glad to be back with you all!

Love,
Jerri