Yashai

Things to do

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:00:10 PDT

1. Write a screenplay based off of a kids book from the '60's by the end of the month.
2. Contact agents or record labels for permission to use their songs in a movie.
3. Continue to contact people who have skills such as writing, painting, acting, lighting, directing, filming, etc., for movie.
4. Write a kids book that deals with depression, acceptance, and belonging, but somehow incorporates Jesus being in the midst of it all.
5. Write another book about your crazy life in the last three years with experiences in two different countries that explores the role of culture, poverty, and the Christian's response.
6. Learn how to paint for free from guy who's studied under a professional artist who's done backdrops for movie sets.
7. Slow down. Relax. Take your time. And focus on the main thing you're called to do...lead worship.

I'm sorry to say this is a small portion of what goes on in my head these days. The rest gets journaled.

Right now

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:44:38 PDT

I'm listening to Amy D. and my good friend Joel rock out a fresh jazzy song. I don't know how God put me in a christian recording studio, but He has. It's here in Perth called Christian Music Records. I got a chance to help record some fellow belivers who rocked out for Jesus with tribal drums Native American style! I can begin to describe how awesome that was.

In other news, it's actually been a really trying week. God is obviously in the midst of it all, but it's been really hard. I could always use some prayer. I really believe that I am doing what God has called me to do, and the enemy is not happy with my choice to serve and follow Jesus Christ.

U2 Redeemed

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 14:39:59 PDT

In the Name of Love (Pride)-U2

I've changed into:

His Name means Love (Jesus)

Who can match this holy love?
Who can make it grow?
This man came to exemplify
A love that won't grow cold

His Name means Love
His Name is the same as Love
His Name means Love
God sent His only Son

it's Jesus, it's Jesus
It's Jesus...

You once taught, and always teach
God's forgiveness
To zealots, outcasts, and freaks,
The Father's holy kiss

Your Name means love
Your name is the same as love
Your Name means love
You sent Your only Son

King Jesus, King Jesus, King Jesus...

On a Friday night, in Pilate's court,
They crucified my Lord
Now You're alive, the cave's full of light
Now We are your righteous Bride

Come stay my love
Come take me home above
Come stay my love
You are God's Holy Son

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

Good Day

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 13:23:15 PDT

I think this is the first time in a long time, that I'm doing alright today. I think my brain has finally taken the helm this week, and I feel a lot more calm. I had a great time in the Word this morning and was really encouraged to continue serving.

The exciting news today is that it looks like I will be able to receive chiropractic care at no out of pocket expense, and I was able to get some more "biofreeze" today which is very helpful for me.

A verse that's been really speaking to me lately is, "No man hates his own body, but loves and takes care of it." I'm really glad that Jesus loves His Body, and takes care of it, aren't you?

Check out Revelations 21, if you want to see what Jesus sees when He looks at us as the "Lamb's Bride". We are a beautiful city made of transparent glass, solid gold, and decorated with priceless gems. The word "adorn" is used to describe this city a few times, which is an awesome word that means "make more beautiful or attractive".

I also read Ruth chapter 4, where we find out the name of the child that came from Boaz and Ruth's marriage. His name is Obed. Obed means "serving" or "worship" (blueletterbible.org). He just so happens to be the father of Jesse. Obviously, it's really nice to read one's own name in the Bible, and I was very encouraged today when I read that.

Anyway,it was a productive day and I got several errands accomplished, and still a few more to go. I'm having difficulty setting up a podcast for northgateministry.com, and may have to phone a friend, or something. In the meantime, I'm going to get what I can done.

It's good to know that things are going to work out "little by little" (Proverbs 13:11), and that the more I deal with life, the easier it will get. I'm reducing stress by working through things one step at a time and am very encouraged to keep moving forward.

I'm sorry to say that the very good thing is over. However, I'm so less stressed out, and probably better off without it for now. I don't know what the future holds, I just know Who holds the future. He is very trustworthy, and has promised those that seek Him diligently that "they will never be disappointed."

Pro-Adjuster

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 11:10:00 PDT

There's only two chiropractor offices in the entire province (for American's think region) that are licensed to use the pro-adjuster in their offices. Apparently, I lucked out and found a chiropractor who is using state of the art technology to adjust my back. The instrument takes ridiculously accurate spec's of my back, and only adjusts the joints that need to be corrected. Applying a mere five pounds of pressure, the instrument taps my back into place. Some bones require more tapping than others. It actually feels really good after everything is said and done.

I'm still awaiting the insurance companies decision on my ongoing case. I was in a car accident sometime ago, and still suffering from it. I always dread having to write, or talk about it, because it was very traumatic. So, I've had mixed feelings about being adjusted. It's almost like my heart has to have a new context of not being trapped in the same situation I was in before. I know that God knows what's going on with me and my body, even if no one else knows, and He's able to take care of me.

In the meantime, I'm doing lots of stretching, icing the neck 3x a day, and doing some excercises to stretch my hamstrings at night. I'm doing the best I can with the TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder). Some days are worse than others. I'm still wearing my retainer, but I may need to see an Orthadontist in the near future.

One of my friend Joel's songs that has really spoken to my heart recently, has an awesome chorus that I leave with you.

"Jesus knows, oh Jesus knows, what you're keepin' from the light,
Won't you let me be your joy again again again..."

Scott Cunningham

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:33:35 PDT

I love this song that I'm listening to right now. It's called "My Soul Thirsts". I think I might use it in a worship set in the near future.

I still can't get over how blessed I am to serve as a worship leader for such a close knit fellowship. Tonight's bible study is on John 9:4-41. After finishing my daily devo of nine chapters, I'm going to read the text for tonight, and ask God for inspiration. That's how I usually figure out what I'm playing for that small group study. Normally, I have this done way ahead of time, but sometimes life gets in the way. Good thing there's grace, huh? Anyway, I got to get back to studying.

It looks like I just saw someone that I know here at the Grind, it's a small coffee shop that reserves the right to charge $5.00 for free Wi-fi? Am I the only one that thinks that's a contradiction in terms? I'm glad the lady left me and my water bottle off with a warning. Sometimes honesty helps. I only two bucks.

Hand

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 14:07:41 PDT

I know that everything is going to work out,
Everything is going to be just fine,
As long as I have my hand in His,
And His hand in mine.

Pages is da bomb!

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 04:04:39 PDT

I just started using a new program for word processing on my mac called Pages. This thing is seriously awesome. It's so easy to drag and drop pic's, reshape text, and there's so many great looking templates for just about any writing project you can think of (newsletters, for sale signs, etc).

I've since gotten rid of Microsoft Office, and my mac never looked better. Cool thing is that all my word doc's will still work in Pages. You have to check this program out if you've never seen it before.

http://www.apple.com/iwork/tutorials/pages/intro.html#pages-intro

www.beautifulperth.com and JESUS-WOOD

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 10:20:40 PDT

I have to tell the world about the prettiest place in Ontario Canada. I'll give you three guesses. Nope, wrong all three times. It's called Perth, and it's absolutely gorgeous. It's currently celebrating it's 175th anniversary as a town. Most of the buildings are totally from yesteryear. The quaint little shops and restaurants make it a tourist hotspot. Stewart Park, which is a huge blessing, since every event done there is free, and open to the public, is located in downtown Perth. This past July they had a free music concert in the park, which was very cool. Lots of different styles and performers for an entire weekend. I don't think I've ever seen so many weddings happen in one place either. It's like an Irish Spring Soap commercial or something. It's exceptionally green and the flowers are vibrant and colorful. There are times I pinch myself, and ask if I'm on a movie set.

Speaking of which, I just found out recently that filming any building externally is "fair game" from the mayor of Perth. This is incredibly exciting since I've always wanted to film, but often found conflict with getting permission from businesses or administration in government in order to do so. This is like music to a musician's ears. I'm currently working on a few different projects. The first one is a short documentary film called "What is God doing in Perth?" for my church's website, and the other is a modern take on an old kids book called "The Phantom Tollbooth".

This may sound looney, but I've decided to abandon trying to make something happen within the world's market. Why should I have to compromise my ethical standards in the name of entertainment? I think Christian's are just as creative, talented, and intelligent as anyone else, and should be free to create media that glorifies Jesus Christ, and is completely submitted to His authority. It's always been my dream to bring the truth in high definition. Obviously, I need to have the reality check of making sure that it's not just a good thing, but a God thing with whatever I'm doing to serve Jesus. However, I don't think that God makes mistakes, and has given me gifts that need to be used, not abused, to bring the Gospel to an apathetic generation that's more selfish and logical, than selfless and genuine. I've decided to dub this grassroots production company "JESUS-WOOD", because I think it's all about the cross and denying myself, and taking up Jesus wooden cross. This is all so much easier to type on a keyboard, or even read, but quite challenging to live. Let's do what Jesus has asked us to do. Love one another. Speak words that are gracious and affirming. So many films are filled with filthy language, sexually course speech, and derogatory attitudes toward men and women. If for no other reason than that alone, should be enough for us to change things.

"Do not be overcome with evil, but overcome evil with good"
-Apostle Paul

"Who is good except God?"
-Jesus

We don't need lots of money, or any of Hollywood's so called stars. With no deadlines, and no budget, I can take as much time as I want on a film AND I don't have to worry about some producer deciding to sacrifice integrity in the name of entertainment, or even worse, cultural relevance. I believe Ravi Zacharias was absolutely right when he said that the order of society should be "Truth is King, and Culture is Relative" not the other way around. Culture is a beautiful thing. Diversity to me is like a pallette full of different colors and tones. Each one of them is special and unique. However, the painting really takes shape, when there's a clear direction for all the colors to align to on the painting.

The saddest thing I've ever scene is an artistic timeline on my home campus, at the Leepa-Rapner Museum in Tarpon Springs, FL at SPC Tarpon campus. In the past few hundred years, all the artistic designs have gotten harder to distinguish. It's almost like the artists have given up trying to trace God's footsteps. As if His fingerprints all over creation aren't beautiful, or that his symmetry is not something to be lost in wonder of. Why must we be either an expressionist, or a modernist? Living somewhere on the extremes of either wild emotion, or pure intellect. Why can't they be balanced? There is beauty in truth, and there is also truth to be found in God's beauty. There's is wisdom in faith, and I have faith in God's wisdom. Do you see the beautiful correlations between the mind and the heart? God did not give us both of these things so that they would be divorced, but so that they could be forever entwined.

I know that the Arts are not given that much priority in our world. A rich man's pleasure, is what some think of this part of society. Similar to classical music, people think they have to wear really nice clothes to enjoy something exquisite. Let me say that the robe the Father gives to the Prodigal Son is much cleaner and warm than anything we can produce. Let's receive God's grace and believe that God can be glorified even in something as trivial as a drawing, painting, movie, tv show, album, statue, or building structure. I know that Art has long reigned with no Ruler. But that isn't true is it? There's always been One King whose name is Faithful. However as the Scripture says,

"..but men hid themselves in darkness, lest their deeds should be exposed.."

I'm not asking for money. I just want prayer. I've decided to stop fighting with my Maker, and use the gifts He's given me for writing and creativity. I'm not a second class citizen in God's Kingdom. There is no class system in God's kingdom. No dictators, or despots, middle class, poor, or somewhere in between any of those things. There's just Jesus and His Bride (the Church). I must admit that as a worship leader, my primary responsibility is to worship the Lord, and lead others into His presence (that's with and without music). I'm called to be a servant, just like everyone else. Sure, I've got some deep thoughts, and a wild imagination. Aren't these some of the same traits we find in God? I'm not saying that I'm God, because I'm definitely not, but we all have similar characteristics that mirror a part of who He is.

There's a great book that I haven't read yet, because it's not intended for me, called "Created to be His Help Meet" by Debi Pearl. In it, she describes three characteristics of men that are all true of who God is. Command Man, Mr. Consistent, and Mr. Visionary. God knows how to get things done by being a strong authority figure. He's also incredibly faithful, and sticks with things until they are complete. God is also able to speak to us in a way that casts a vision of hope, love, peace, and redemption. He can map things out and inspire us to dream big. I've been told by others that I'm a Mr. Consistent, with a touch of visionary.

In summation, humility and a heart that longs to be like Jesus is all my desire in everything, whether that's washing dishes, or writing the next great American novel, it's the same thing. I still have to come to the cross daily and hand over my right to be ambitious, but there is this strong yearning I have. I just want to say "I love you so much Jesus" with everything I have in me. It's unwise for someone to think they will ever match the love that God has poured out on us. However, it's also unwise to over look what Jesus said was the greatest commandment.

"Love the Lord your God with
ALL your heart (that's your emotions),
ALL your mind, (that's your thoughts)
ALL your soul, (that's your will, feelings, and intellect)
ALL your strength, (that's your physical body)

And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as you love yourself"

I cannot love my neighbor, if I am not filled with a love for God. Church, let's get back to serving and loving on Jesus. If the economy is in the tank, that's okay, cause Jesus kingdom will never end. His promises are still in effect. Nothing He has written will fade away.

"The Word of the Lord endures forever"

Let's take up the practice of praying and calling out to Jesus again, whether we have food, money, or even clothes. None of those material things will ever change God's everlasting truth and goodness. I'm convinced there are some children in Africa who will wake up in Heaven's glory and will receive more honor than some, because they genuinely believed that Jesus would save them, and because Jesus said himself,

"Many who are first shall be last, and many who last shall be first..."

I'm not saying that it's not a high honor to forever be with the Lord by itself, but I think we place far too great a value on what we possess, or can manufacture, and have completely forgotten the Lord and all the amazing things He has provided to us abundantly. Last time I checked, God didn't charge Adam and Eve for eating all the other trees in the Garden, He just punished them for disobeying Him by eating from the one tree they couldn't eat from. Those children in Africa have absolutely nothing, and have lived in a war torn country for years, stricken by poverty and hopelessness. I'm not saying that we should all feel guilty for living so well, I'm just saying "Wake up!" If we're just living for what's good here and now, what's gonna be our reward THERE and THEN in Heaven? I'm not advocating we should all quit our jobs, or depend on the governement to meet our needs. I'm saying we should divert all our attention, focus, and time on being with Jesus. That's the only thing that's going to last for all eternity.

If a goofy song accomplishes that, praise the Lord. If a gripping movie, causes one soul to repent, Amen. And if one person reading this, decides to take God up on His Word, and encounter the Lord in a very real and vibrant way, then my scatterbrained writing will not have been written in vain. Like the prophets in the Old Testament, the Spirit of God moved on their hearts, and they spoke.

Please forgive me for such a long rant. But I've been thinking about these things for a very long time, and could use some feedback on them.

This will be my final quote for this entry.

"The Church used to act as a thermostat, setting the temperature for society. Now, it acts like a thermometer, only giving a current reading.."
- paraphrased, Martin Luther King, Jr., from "A Letter from Birmingham Jail"

Church we need to repent, and then we can lead others into repentance. Personal revival must happen first before local, regional, national, and international can take place. Obviously, authentic revival only occurs as God the Father directs, and people are faithful to Jesus leading, and the Holy Spirit is given freedom to work. We should never worship a formula, but the God whose mind is unsearchable and fathomless. His name is Jesus. Let's worship Him.

First Annual Songwriter's Ball

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:54:39 PDT

Last Friday night was amazing. Originally the idea was to just use Gen's, my sister in law's, Belkin tunetalk mic that fits on an ipod, and have everyone record using a cheap quick mic, or even using my crummy laptop mic, which my friend Joel says is pretty lame for recording, since any mic you can buy at radio shack would be better than that one. Miraculously, two different people provided ridiculously expensive track recording equipment and studio quality mics. We had the event at the Doornenkamp's house in Westport. Apparently, Jacob Moon has played there before. We had a great time eating some chili that Steph's mom made, and fellowshipping. It took us awhile to set up, us meaning mainly Joel and Amy, but once everything was set to go, we prayed, and led a few worship songs to start the evening. After that, Steph and her mom jumped up and did a great song called "Shadowlands" that her mom wrote the words to, and Stephanie composed the music for. It's got a killer hook, and is very inspiring. Steph also played a couple of new songs she's written like "He longs for you" which is really really good. Next on the list was Amy D. who has so much creativity it's not even funny. Part of the purpose of having a "Songwriter's Ball" is to encourage each other in the gift on songwriting, and this was a perfect opportunity. Amy has some great melodies, and unbelievably awesome lyrics, but a few of her songs aren't quite finished yet, and are open for some collaboration. After Amy's last song, two guys who are exceptionally talented ,Josh and Mark. Mark was able to do some incredible beat-boxing, and Josh keeps it real wish some fresh freestyle. Apparently, it's been almost two years since they did any recording, so they had to practice their rap a few times, but they made us all laugh, and we were glad that they decided to jump out there without being asked ahead of time. Number four on the list was Art, who decided to sing "Lord, I lift your name on high". I played guitar for him, and the girls decided to do back up vocals for him as well. It was very genuine worship. Fifth, on the lineup, is a young guy named Joel Williams, who has a great somber voice that reminds me of a blend of Jack Johnson meets Brian Doerksen, or something. Anyway, he has his own unique style, and some great songs about Jesus. He did one of my favorite songs that he does called "Wildflower" which is really about being content with God...I think, I'm not sure. Anyway, it's got a great line at the end that says "Wildflower, I know that you were wild all along." Good stuff. The last songwriter for the evening was myself. I've just written a new song called, "Christ will Shine" that I did, followed by an older one called "True Love." The evening was not complete however until Amy, Stephanie, and myself sung together on the song we all collaborated on "Psalm 133/Running Down". Three part harmony sounds really nice on that chorus. It's mainly about unity found in Jesus, and His overflowing life continually running down on us.

It was very good. All the music from that evening was acoustic with some vocals. We're recording for the purpose of encouraging the Body of Christ, not necessarily making money, we sing for Jesus only. So were hoping to get all these great tracks mixed down this week, and then start making copies to hand out to friends and family. If you want a copy, let me know and I'll get you one. It's just like God's grace, it's free, and full of love.

One more thing, one of the girls from discipleship helped put together a poster for the evening. I had this idea of a visual representation for Psalms 23:6-7. I saw a picture of someone crying right next to a cup that's spilling over. I firmly believe that when we cry it's a sign that we are filled over the top with the Spirit of God. He loves us so tenderly, and knows all that we've gone through. It's time to let it out and let grace come rushing in, over, and down the sides. It was great to finally see something that I had envisioned two years prior come to pass.

Overdue

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 05:08:26 PDT

Okay, I know. I know. I'm way overdue for an update for friends, family, and myself included. Believe it or not, this is actually highly therapeutic for me to share my thoughts in text. I've had more awesome things happen to me in the last two weeks than has ever happened before. Right now, I'm trying to contain the excitement of working on a worship album (for real, with real sound equipment and incredibly talented people), a short documentary called "What is God doing in Perth?", and also something else that is really good...however, the Gospel is a mystery, and I'm going to leave you in suspense for awhile. Trust me, that it's something very very good.

A few weeks ago, it was my birthday weekend, and I could think of nothing more fun than visiting my brother in Ottawa, and attending his church the next day. I was overwhelmed by the hospitality and generosity that my brother showed, and then even more blown away by the service the next day. The teaching was on Galatians 3 entitled "Come Back to Simple Faith in Jesus" and it was just phenomenal to be reminded of a life based on grace, not human behavior or experience. The worship afterwards was knock your socks off great, and the love of God seemed to be very tangible in that place.

You can find the message here (www.calvaryfellowship.ca). Just click on subscribe to podcast, and then load itunes, if you need to.

After service, I felt led to ask for emotional healing. God has done an amazing work on my heart in the last few weeks. I feel more alive than I have in years. It's taken me awhile to find where I ditched my heart. I left it in Canada, the day that a young girl in FL told me the truth, and gently broke my heart. She did not have the same feelings for me, that I had for her. I've never cried as much as when I recieved that email, and vowed that I would never again encounter that much emotional turmoil. So, I turned off. I took whatever was my heart, threw it in a deep freezer of fear, poured on some heavy weights off ignorance, and then made sure that an ivory tower of knowledge would protect it day and night. I became a machine. A living breathing brain with no heart whatsoever. Looking back, I can see how incredibly foolish this was. I've learned some very key things while being in discipleship.

1. If you're going to follow Jesus, you're going to suffer pain.

"If anyone wants to follow me, let him first deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me."
-Jesus

"Anyone that desires to live godly after Christ Jesus will suffer persecution."
-Apostle Paul

In the Bible, Jesus is described as a man acquainted with sufferring. I doubt if we could relate to God, if He had no clue what it was like to be human. I know I lived in fear of going either too high, or too low with my emotions. I would usually stay low, or in the mid section. Right now, I am flying high, but trying to come back down to the middle from time to time. Others are helping me see when I'm not being myself, and also making sure that my priorities are in order.

2. It does not all depend on you. Jesus bore the weight of the world on His shoulders. You don't have to.

The very first sin in the garden of Eden, happened because of independence. Dependency on God, not only makes sense, but is absolute truth. Right now, we're all depending on God for air to breathe in, and carbon dioxide to breathe out. We don't even realize there are planets that have to be lined up at just the right rotation, otherwise we'd be barbequed to death, or become the "frozen chosen". According to one man, there are things called "mions" that are smaller than protons, neurons, and electrons at the sub-molecular level. These are details that we completely take for granted.
Now, what's my point? My point is that God has made everything good. Don't believe me, read Genesis. That's what He says after he creates all the different things in the universe each day. However, after he was done making man and woman he said that it was "very good". God didn't need our advice, opinion, or approval for creating the smallest particle, or the largest galaxy we can find. He's an amazing engineer, and an impeccable artist. Just looking at the stars alone should fill us with awe and wonder at a God who would create billions of stars just for us. It was those same stars that Abraham saw, when God promised him that He would make Abraham's descendants as numerous as the stars in the night sky.

3. God does not make junk. We are formed in His image, and we are "fearfully and wonderfully made".

There's just something different about taking truth and applying it to our hearts. I've know that the previous statement is true for some time now, but it just never really sank in until recently. God has made me exactly the person that he wanted me to be. I don't talk a lot, but I do write a bit, and love to listen to other people. I've always enjoyed listening to music, and tinkering around with creative things like drawing, writing, composing, and reflecting on things. I've come to realize those are gifts from God, and they don't make me any less of a person than anyone else. I'm reminded of a theme that was used for a young Women's retreat that used aforementioned verse by re-phrasing it this way.

"God thinks you're wonderful."

It really is true. As Bob the tomato is so found of saying,

"God made you special, and He loves you very much."

4. Confusion comes when we focus on what others think of us, instead of the truth found in God's Word (a.k.a. Jesus' love letters).

After I graduated from the discipleship program back in May, we all received Maple Leaf awards, and a nice leather bound New King James Bible. Now, I'm not KJV kinda guy, even though my Dad helped me memorize quite a few verses from that version (i.e. Psalm 23, 91). However, I really came to enjoy reading from this version that takes out the "Thees" and "Thine" and puts in "the" and "Yours". It's much easier to read. Also, "smotten" is no where to be found in this version. Anyway, since there's like 9 students (guys and gals) in discipleship, all our Bibles look very similar, and it was getting hard to distinguish one from the other. I'm not sure who started the trend, but people started writing Scriptures, or how to get saved on the outside of their Bibles. Being the unique guy that I am, I put something I thought was neat on my Bible cover.

Check it out, it's the pic at the top of the blog.

Alright so what you're looking at is a huge heart with a cross in the middle of it. There's also a crown of thorns on the top, but it's probably too light to see.

The words read from top to bottom,

"God's Thoughts, Feelings, and Opinion Towards Humanity Stands Forever."

There's a verse that goes along with it, that I found in Psalms 33:11, and referenced to the side of the heart, but you're probably can't read it.

"The counsel of the Lord stands forever,
The plans of His Heart to all generations."
Ps 33:11

Now, what's really cool is the recent addition which isn't as visible. I took the "O" in "GOD'S" and made it into an eye (the thing you see with). Then, towards the bottom right you can just make out a sheep, right? Well, I put underneath the sheep "ewe", which is a female lamb. If you look at all the pictures from right to left, it says eye (I), heart (love), and then ewe (you). Isn't that cool? I would take credit for it, but Jesus is the one who really made it all possible, having put all those scientific things in place, as well as a love that's actually real, not to mention that creative spark in me that's a gift from Him as well.

5. Don't cheapen the Gospel.

"because of the hope that is laid up in heaven for you, of which you have heard before in the word of the truth of the Gospel, which has come to you, as it has also in all the world, and it is bringing forth fruit, as it also among you since you heard and knew the grace of God in truth;"-Colossians 1:5-6 NKJV

The phrases "word of truth of the Gospel" and "the grace of God in truth" stick out to me. A good friend of mine was encouraging me that it's not enough to preach grace, without repentance. There is a judgment and a reckoning for sin. God is holy, and cannot sin, nor does He tempt others to sin (see the book of James). Without truth, grace is false. Without grace, truth is the law (see Old Testament laws), which is a curse, if you're trying to live under it.

So we need both grace and truth. I think these are also very similar to what Paul wrote to Timothy about faith and love.

"And the grace of our Lord was exceedingly abundant, with faith and love which are in Christ Jesus." 1 Timothy 1:14

"Love is an action, not a feeling". I learned this from one of my pastors. What actions has God done on our behalf? Oh, not much really. Just bore the full weight of humanity's sin, and overcome the world by His death and resurrection. That's all. He did this all firmly believing that we would take His offer of taking our place for judement, and recieve His mercy. That's faith.
Seriously, we don't need to think less of God. I said this in the documentary I'm filming and I firmly believe it. We don't give God nearly as much credit as He deserves. Don't sell God short on His promises, and on who He is. Let truth sink deep into your heart. Be emotionally, as well as logically, connected with God. It's a great thing.

Well, that's all for now. I know I feel better now that this information is being circulated to those whom I miss and care for, as well as friends, and friends in disguise (strangers who are friends I haven't met yet). Have a wonderful day, and please don't be shy in leaving a few comments. I haven't heard from some people in a long time.

Take care,
jesse

Refreshing Grace

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:37:19 PDT

Normally, I have lots of words that I use to describe things that are good. Very good would be an extremely conservative way of expressing this morning's service. It was tremendous, electrifying, refreshing, disarming, and very emotional. Having no bulletins, or powerpoint, did not stop the work of the Holy Spirit. Jason and Ivonne have a serious anointing for leading worship, and did a fantastic job with a familiar worship song "Open the Eyes of My Heart". There's just something about Jesus that makes even what is familiar, alive, fresh, and new. My brother went through Galatians 3 immediately afterwards sharing a simple truth that can not be taught enough. "Simple faith in Jesus Christ works, not our actions or behaviors."
I've never heard a pastor give such an honest confession like this morning. It was very bold. It tied in perfectly with the message that no human effort can achieve God's righteousness. It's the promise of the Spirit, it's the work of the Spirit. The Spirit is Jesus Christ. So, it doesn't rely on me to accomplish God's will, it's God's grace. It's the work of the Holy Spirit. "The just shall live by faith". It has nothing to do with reliance on self, but complete total depedence on God and His grace. I've been a Christian since I was 12 years old. This message can not be taught enough. The reminder of the work of God's grace. What is the answer to a life of sin? A life of faith in Jesus Christ. Everyone strugles with sin, even pastors. Everyone knows what it feels like to screw up, and feel like mold scrappings the next day. It's because we're evaluating ourselves based on human performance, and not on God's unconditional love. God actually loves us. God actually wants to bless us based off of His love for Jesus Christ, not what we can do. After hearing a message on God's solid grace, you can't help but be moved by it. The worship service afterwards was so good. I cried throughout most of it. Several times I couldn't sing, because my heart got in the way. It was like God was reminding me of how He's come to my rescue, He's the One who redeems me. We had people sing in the Spirit about God and HIs presence. One guy prayed and said to kneel down before the Lord and ask Him to be His Savior. Another guy on the far side of the room was being ministered to heavily by the Spirit of God, and was yelling under the weight of God's grace. Several people prayed over him. God's love was incredibly event. Prayer afterwards was greatly encouraging. To see so many filled with God's Spirit of love. To know that the Holy Spirit can produce in us an overabundance of "love, joy, peace, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, perserverance, and self-control." I feel refreshed and strengthened. God is continuing to do the work of healing that He spoke to me about this year in my heart. I need to come back again sometime. The brothers from Perth greet you. May God continue to bless Calvary Fellowship, and grow His kingdom according to "praise of His glory".

The Latest

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Fri, 22 May 2009 12:37:54 PDT

In the past few months, God has completely changed my plans. I've decided to stay on as a worship leader for a small church in Perth called Northgate Ministries, and abandon my orginal ambition to be in the recording industry. I've chosen to go with ministry rather than industry. Why? God changed my plans. They are completely demolished. I had such big dreams of changing the entertainment world, and sharing the Gospel through media, but all that is gone.

Last month, while I was asking the Lord what He wanted me to do regarding staying on as the worship leader, and I felt God speak to my heart and say "Yes." I was dumbfounded at how fast I had received an answer, and asked the Lord for confirmation that this was His voice, and not my own. He took me to Joshua 5 where there was a man with a drawn sword, and Joshua walked up to him and said, "Are you for us, or for our enemies?" The man said, "Neither, but as Commander of the armies of Heaven, I've come to take over." God gave me further instruction saying, "This is my thing, not yours."

It was based off of those two things, what God had spoken to my heart, and also through His word, that everything hung in the balance last wednesday night. This past week I went to a Pastor's Conference in Maryland, and came back Wednesday night going through border security. I was a few days late in leaving from my 90 period, so I knew I would encounter some trouble coming into Canada again. Officers are trained to be intimidating, and pull the truth out of you. After asking me a few general questions, he told me to wait on the bench.

I sat next a young man who had a t-shirt that said "Pain and punishment". There was absolutely no way I was going to let that be his future. I started talking to him and finding out where he's from and where's he's going. I told him about how I felt called by God to lead worship, and follow Jesus, and proceeded to ask him what he thought about Jesus. He explained how he had a catholic background, and really hadn't been to church in a while. I told him about how salvation is like a present on Christmas day, you can either choose to open it, or leave it under the tree. It's your choice. I also told him that most people don't know that God not only has the power to forgive our sin, but also deliver us from the power of sin. Then my good friend Paul with the gift of evangelism, took over from there, and before I knew Dan was reading a Bible, starting with the Gospel of John. That's when I was summoned back to the front desk again.

The patrol asked why I didn't say that I was in a discipleship program at the beggining? I explained that I was shy about staying that I was going through a discipleship program, and that's why I said that I was visiting friends, and family. I proceeded to explain that my orginal intentions were to only stay for three months then go home, but my plans changed within the last month. He asked me, "Why haven't you filled out the right paper work, you had three months?" I told him, that I had looked online, and found scarce information regarding what I actually needed as a religous volunteer non-permit worker. He said that I would not be able to cross that night, and would have to return to U.S Customs, and proceeded to hand me a legal document stating that I was allowed to leave Canada. This was just killing me. I thought of thousands of times of Bible studies at the Gosse House, spontaneous worship, fasts on wednesdays, sharing the Gospel at anytime, with anybody. I thought of all the warm people in our fellowship, and the idea of never seeing any of them, or what I was a part of ever again.

I was unsure of where I would stay, or whether I would have to get a ticket back to FL. The border patrolmen was telling Paul, as the driver, that I would have to be driven back to U.S. Customs. Paul, very respectully said, that they would be more than happy to do that, but wanted to know what I would need in order to go back into Canada that night. The patrolmen showed the list of documents, and things that needed to be signed. Dan jumped in and said that he was the pastor, and would be more than happy to supply those things, and whether he could send them by email. Meanwhile, Joel jumped in and helped calm the situation by using the right words and some goverment connections,I'm not sure. So, before I know it, Dan is on the phone, then Joel, then Dan, and their talking to Amy (Dan's wife) who was trying to put 8 kids to bed and type out on offer of ministerial employment at the same time. For me, this was absolutely insane. I'm the type of guy who is more than prepared for any and all situations, and I do not like giving much to chance. It was incredibly emotional and nerve wracking. Did I really hear from God, or is this just going to blow up in my face? I waited for hours, and tried to pray for the guard. As I'm waiting, Dan asked what degree I had. I told him that I have an Associate of Arts in General Education with a minor in Music. I didn't realize how glad I would be that I got that degree!

A few hours later, all the documents made it through, Dan signed a document, I signed one, and all the other paper was in order. The result is a year long religious volunteer non-worker visa. This is indeed a miracle. When I first came to Canada in 2007, I had more paperwork, from two pastors in the States, and just one pastor in Canada, my brother, and it didn't work out at all. I breathed a sigh of relief. We waited for pizza that Paul and Joel went to go get.

On the car ride back to Canada, the words of a song came across my mind
"Just to know that my hopes rest in Your heart...Just to know that You are always with me, just to know that your promises, will STAY RIGHT HERE." (Rita Springer "Just to Know")

I was softly crying as I thought of God's faithfulness. I am living in the unknown world of faith, where I do not live by what I see, but by what I can't see. I don't know how everything is going to work out in this life, but as I learned from an illustration from Damian Kyle this past week, an elderly couple in his church had a drawing in their house that was a sillouhette of Jesus with words written underneath, "I never said it would be easy. I just said it would be worth it."

The Book that shows His face

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Thu, 14 May 2009 10:23:26 PDT

So I'm going to delete my entire facebook account, simply because it's a major distraction and not nearly as exciting as living for Jesus in the real world. I find that facebook lends to confusion between guy and girl relationships, with situations like "Define the relationship" which is not edifying for single people trying to serve and follow Jesus. This is my own personal conviction however, and in the past I've found facebook useful for connecting with friends and college students, for the purpose of sharing the Gospel with them. So, I think that's definitely a Romans 14 issue.
However, at the present time, actually talking to people face to face, or even sending an email seems more than adequate. I will not be able to blog nearly as much as I used to. I've fallen in love with God's Word. I've never seen so clearly the face of God displayed throughout the Bible. A friend shared with me a quick devotional that talked about a copy of the Constitution that was hard to read close up, but if you move away from it, you can see the face of George Washington, the father of our country (America). When I read the Bible, I don't see history, words, syllables, or poetic imagery. I'm looking God in the face and hearing Him speak to me. There's nothing else that compares to this. I want to share more, but I need to go. There are more changes and revelations, but they'll have to wait. Take a break from facebook, and seek His face instead. You won't regret it. :)

An explanation for delays

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 05:36:00 PST

It's hard to find a starting place today. I'm so glad that I'm finally done with my degree. Now, I only have to wait a week to apply for graduation, once again, and then I finally have my colleg diploma. I'm so glad the stress of one more test is done for now. Last week, I passed the last C.L.A.S.T. test I needed for the mathematics requirement. The next day, I went to see an Orthodontist to see if I have TMJ (temporomandibular joint disorder), which apparently I have. The same day I got my second cortisone shot, which was a bit more painful this time, than it was earlier this month. I was actually very upset, because I had plans for leaving for Canada again this past Friday. However, there are a few more doctor visits that require me to physically be here, so I won't be leaving for Canada until the first weekend of next month (February).

Right now I'm sorting through everything in my mind. A degree that's been my entire life for the past five years is over. I'm starting to get things rolling with Full Sail University and gearing up for an intense discipleship program coming up. I think I'm overdue for some reflection, and some deep counsel from God's Word. It's not to say that I can't do this here at home, but there's something different about going where there are few distractions and warm friends. This is not to say that there aren't warm friends here. It's just different.

Although things may not be difficult for someone else, an allowance of difficulty within one's own situation should be granted to that person. This past year has been a trial by fire for me. I've given up numerous opportunities to hang with old friends, stayed on course with my studies, and even have pitched in with household chores. I've applied for work several times, at a variety of different businesses, with little success. God has provided funds to pay for medical bills, and even tuition for my last semester. I've had sleepless nights were my neck felt like it was on fire, or my back would cramp up on me. It's taken me six months of physical rehab to be able to wear a backpack over my neck without having a night of stinging pain. Having endured all these things, you can imagine, that knowing that I had to take one more test a few weeks before graduation, felt like a punch in the gut. I thought I had already done enough. Despite all these obstacles, I finally made it to the other side, and there's nothing anyone can do to take it away. I watched "the Lord of the Rings" trilogy this past week, and could relate to Frodo collapsing on Mt. Doom. He's finally made it to the quests end and just wants to it all to be over with. I know that I'm being melodramatic, but things have been rough lately. I know there are others facing even worse problems right now, and I should consider myself lucky for the family and resources that I have. I guess I just wanted to give an explanation for the need to go away for awhile.

A brother once shared with me, "Between hearing a word from the Lord, you do the best you can." That's where I'm at right now. I'm doing the best I can and waiting to hear a fresh word from the Lord. The interesting thing about extreme circumstances is that they show you what you're made of, and what's really going on inside of you. I wish I could say it was all good, but there's a lot that needs to be taken out. God has been showing me some things that have been lurking way down on the bottom of my heart. The heat had to be turned up to get rid of it. That's the thing about dross, it's got to come out.

"Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith;"
Proverbs 25:4

C.L.A.S.T.

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 22:16:31 PST

Sigh. Although, I passed my Math class, without a "B", I'm required to take the Math section of the "College Level Academic Skills Test". It could be worse. I could have to take the last Math class this semester all over again. That's definitely not happening. It's literally a "Christmas miracle" that I even passed at all. I literally had to fight for every inch of that class, and it still wasn't enough. In fairness, I did miss three assignments, which cost me the fifty points I needed for a "B". However, it just seems wrong that, only ".5" of my G.P.A. is holding me back from my printed degree.

My Math may be fuzzy, but this is what I did. A "C" is "2.0", and I earned two of them in both my classes. So, I added them together for the sum of "4.0" and divided them by "2" to get the average for my cumulative G.P.A. of "2.0" in Mathematics. I needed "2.5" to seal the deal.

I wish I could say that it didn't affect me during the graduation ceremony, but that's untrue. I kept having to tell myself that these last courses, are not an accurate indicator of the work I've done over the whole of my degree. I've worked very hard, and overcome a lot of fears, and circumstances beyond my control.

In regards, to this final test, I like to use the quote from the movie "Princess Bride".
"A technicality that shall be shortly remedied."
That's really what this last test is. Just a formality that needs attention.
I am a college graduate. Period. The fact of the matter is that no other classes need to be taken.

I recently received a plaque that I'll have to implement from now on.
"Courage isn't always a lion's roar. It is sometimes the heart at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.' "

Am I dreaming?

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 21:47:15 PST

That's the only thought I had in my head last Saturday, as I'm waiting in line to receive recognition of my A.A. degree (and all the hard work I put into it this year). Everything was just so good. I kept thinking that someone was going to pinch me, and I'd wake up. Seeing my friends and family wave at me, I felt like an athlete about to receive a medal. Here I am, at the end of the race. Taking everything in, and amazed at being able to catch my breath.

I was so nervous when I walked on stage. I should have been more assured of myself, because I think my pics came out pretty rough. I look shaky, and afraid of doing something wrong. At least, the one where I shake hands with the professor looks decent. Oh, well. My parents took pictures beforehand. If nothing else, those snaps should be good.

Two things were more encouraging than anything else during the ceremony. An encouragement that the composer Handel worked night and day during rough times in the economy. It was during this time that he wrote "Messiah", which has one of the most well known choral pieces "Hallelujah Chorus". Dr. Kutler said,"You never know. You might be one chair away from the next Handel." Handel is one of my favorite composers, for a little known work called "Te Dettingen Deum". I listened to it, while reading "The Arts and the Bible" by Francis Schaeffer. For those of us who are creative, it's very cool. The second thing was a poll to see who took the longest to earn their degree. I thought five years was pretty long for someone like me to finish an A.A. However, one student had taken twenty-five years to finish his degree. Everyone has to operate on their own timetable I guess.

At the end of the stage, each student shakes hands with Dr. Kutler (college president). All of the sudden, a memory came rushing to mind. A year and a half ago, I was going to make a "sales pitch" to get SPC a network on facebook, just like the other major universities (i.e. USF, FSU,etc). The meeting never took place. By the time I got to Gibbs campus that day, I had just missed him. However, I did meet with the vice president of S.G.A., and showed him my hip powerpoint, that even had a movie clip from "The Two Towers" with it. I think I also used the quote, "What we have here, is a failure to communicate." This was back in the day, when I really wanted to see Student Activities on campus flourish. I wanted to use every available resource to invite people to bible studies, and even anti-spiritual activities like sports, or movies. So, yes I did have my own agenda, but I figured Christians should be the ones setting the trends for the rest of world, not the other way around.

In any case, that memory faded, and I reached to shake his hand with a cautious smile, and Dr. Kutler told me,"Be careful that you don't trip." This was not exactly what I expected to hear, but seeing the pictures, it makes more sense now, than it did at the time. A friend congratulated me earlier last week, and jokingly told me not to trip on stage as well. I was wondering if they both planned a conspiracy to make me fall on my face, or if I have "clutz" written on my forehead.

I've never had a formal graduation until this past weekend. I earned a G.E.D. eight years ago, and celebrated at home. Words can't describe the feeling of joy and accomplishment in finishing something like this. It seemed to good to be true.

All in all, it was a great day to finally relax. I enjoyed talking to friends I haven't seen in what seems like years now. Even though my family came as far as Alabama to come see me, they have no idea how much it meant for me to see them there. That's not a dig against any family member, or friend, who couldn't make it. No one is in the doghouse. I think one of my greatest strengths is being aware of the present. I'm grateful for graduating, and for both friends and family helping me make it through. If all the people who helped me get to where I am today where present, their would not be enough room for them all. There were several people who were there in spirit and crowding out the place.

Praise God! Time to move on to something else, like a job.

A quick glance

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Mon, 22 Dec 2008 20:41:03 PST

In one of many visits to Starbucks, an older gentlemen shared some advice with me and my friends in Canada.

"You can glance at the past. Just don't stare."

In this past year, I've done the following things in no particular order;

Finished all the classes I needed for my A.A. degree.

Worked on a Christian T.V. show as a helper/grip, amateur boom operator, and even a quick spot as an extra.

Recorded my first single in a small recording studio.

Helped serve and feed the poor in downtown St. Pete (to celebrate my best friend's birthday, no less).

Led worship for youth group, and a few times for regular service at my church.

Taught a few guitar lessons at two different churches during the summer.

Moved boxes, furniture, and other items to help a friend with his moving business to pay for tuition (I still have dreams of the move that was nothing but boxes).

Ate at the original "Country Pizza Inn" in Clearwater and even got to see the owner from across the room at the restuarant.

Met a few Christians who've worked in different positions in the media industry and listened to their stories/advice.

Helped a friend move to Alaska, and got in a car accident (Also, stated the obvious when I said, "That guy really made a big impression").

Got M.R.I.'s, and x-rays that showed herniated discs in my neck, and a bulging disc in my lower back.

Did physical therapy, electrical therapy, massage therapy, the roller table, chiropractic correction, and, my all time favorite with no sarcasm, decompression to help with chronic pain in my neck and back.

I had two different procedures done to remove a growth on my pinky. It was very painful, the first time, because I had two novices working on me instead of a real dermatologist. I'm still not sure what caused this.

Performed as an actor/video editor in a student film called "Eijopani" directed by my best friend, and also starring another friend.

Said "No" to a variety of social settings, activities, and even good things, so they wouldn't conflict with my classes.

Tried my luck as a stand-up comedian one time at the coffeehouse on campus, and bombed big time (I think I'll leave all the comedic stuff to my older brothers).

Also, took "Drawing" and enjoyed trying something different.

Prayed a couple of times this past semester with other students for God to receive glory, students to shine brightly, and the Gospel to be spread.

Prayed a few times for God to help me finish this degree, and for "the way out" when tempted to give up.

Learned how to stretch my body, mind, and soul to lengths I didn't think were possible.

Made new friends at a different church, and found a place to serve and be served there.

Went to "Lee Roy Selmon's" for the first time and ate barbeque buffalo chicken tortilla's with sour cream.

Met with pastors a few times, and other good godly men for counsel, prayer, and accountability (food, too).

Went with the youth group to watch a Christian battle of the bands in St. Pete where a group called "39 Stripes" gave a great performance, despite the fact that we were the only ones there to hear them, instead of the thousands of students they were promised as the headline band. There was also a group whose lead singer had a voice that can only be described as "Scooby-Do" swallowing the "Cookie Monster". They get props for giving away a free cd though. One of the all guy bands, forgot to buy pants that fit, and made me question whether they knew their audience.

At Calvary St. Pete, I attended the youth conference "Absolute '08" were Phil Wickham led worship live, and my brother Andy gave a message among other pastors like Pedro Garcia. It was really cool.

Was a "crew leader" in my old church's V.B.S. program this past summer and had a great time as a Deputy with his buckaroo's.

Hung out with believers to fellowship at various places/times.

Made it to Ottawa for a quick visit at the Men's Conference and enjoyed the worship, prayer, and messages during the conference, and, especially, Sunday's service.

Visited Full Sail University and took their backstage "film" tour with my best friend.

Hired a lawyer.

Tried very hard to be consistent in my relationship with God and others.

Went to my first graduation ceremony, and was a nervous wreck.

Took several long walks when frustrated, angry, or in pain, to ask God to help me "take every thought captive that comes against the knowledge of Christ".

Learned that any theory, or worldview that has no room for God in it, is absolutely hopeless. Like an unsolved equation, it has no solutions.

Learning that faith has less to do with what I know, or can do, and more to do with just trusting God at His Word by moving my feet like in belief that there's something to step on.

Out of a list of 7 short term goals for this year, I completed four of them (I'm sure to get a merit badge now).

Went to a rare event where all the entire Falleur family was accounted for. Brothers with wives and kids, cousins with spouses, Grandparents, my Aunt, my sister, and even others whom I'm not sure how they're related, but glad they came. I think the total was something like 42 people in all. Thanksgiving was definitely on a large scale this year.

Captain Obvious

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:31:37 PST

"...He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is not truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar, and the father of all lies."
John 8:43

A new thought occurred to me as I read this verse yesterday. Satan tries to murder truth. In fact, he's already tried and failed to murder truth. Jesus said he was the truth. Satan filled Judas Iscariot on that fateful evening, resulting in Jesus crucifixion and death. However, three days later Jesus resurrected from the dead. In Satan's twisted mind, he actually thinks he can win. See that's what happens when your "native tongue" is lies. You start believing them yourself. The truth remains consistent and resilient through everything. That's the nature of God. If there's a section of Scripture that's my all time favorite. It's the following:

"This is a faithful saying:
For if we died with Him,
We shall also live with Him.
If we endure,
We shall also reign with Him.
If we deny Him,
He also will deny us.
If we are faithless,
He remains faithful;
He cannot deny Himself."

II Timothy 2:13

Those last two lines say it all. "He remains faithful. He cannot deny Himself."
God is not contingent on us, we are contingent on Him.

"Truth crushed to the earth, shall rise again."
-William Cullen Bryant

"Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good! For His mercy endures forever."
I Chronicles 16:34

More Endurance

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:33:02 PDT

Another good definition for endurance, is like holding a heavy object over your head. At the same time, a hot iron is pressed against your arm and you choose to withstand the pain, so that you'll be marked. It's not so much about the marking, as it is the choice to hang on, when you want to give up.

I was reading an ad in a fitness magazine at the chiropractor's office, that had a brick wall behind a finely chiseled body builder. He explains that the wall behind him was built brick by brick. That several hours of planning, and hard work went into making that building. He used this as an illustration of his own muscles and talks about all the training that you don't see. The sweat and tears that went into his strength training. The foods that he avoided, so that he could achieve that ideal athletic form.

Recently, at church, my pastor shared a story about these guys, who were trying to move a boulder in front of their gate. It was so heavy, they couldn't move it. But each day, they kept pushing against the large rock again and again. Eventually, one day the kingdom was attacked, but these men found out something. Although, they couldn't move the boulder, they learned how to be strong from pushing against it and were able to defend themselves against attack. "Don't miss the lesson from the boulder."

I just found out this past week, from an MRI, that I have two herniated discs in my neck. I may have permanent injuries for the rest of my life. Still, it can be corrected slowly by my chiropractor (Yes, and the Lord too), and I can have some serious relief. I will be seeking out my "counsel of many", as well as some legal counsel as to whether I should seek medical compensation for my whiplash injury from the car accident a few months ago. I will definitely be praying about it first. But these things add on to the weights I'm already facing this semester. I've saved the hardest classes for last (Math and Science). I may sound incorrigible, but there are some tough challenges awaiting me.

Still, I was thinking about this video I was watching on godtube.com: http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=8616c1559ab4221b3910

These people carry cardboard signs, and pretty much share what they were before, and after coming to Christ. I noticed that although people went through very tough situations like divorce, and even terrible diseases like cancer, it brought them closer to God and his plan of restoration. Is it possible to praise God for painful, or even trying times in our lives? Look at this verse:

"I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth."
Ps 34:1

"...and I vow to praise You,
through the good and the bad,
I'll praise you whether happy or sad,
I'll praise You, with all that I go through,
because praise is what I do,
because I owe it all to You."

-"Praise is what I do" by The William Murphy Project

"Consider him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls."-Hebrews 12:3

I don't think that learning endurance is something I can put on my "to do list" and mark off. It's something I will continually be learning throughout my life. I think this is also true about my relationship with God. There's no point in this life, short of the rapture, where I will understand everything about God as completely as He is complete. I guess that's why us Christian's call this relationship a "walk with God." We all have to keep walking with Him, even if it is through places we would rather not go.

Keep loving Jesus, and others, no matter what. That's the attitude we should be striving for.

"But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:5-8

Convicting Songs

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:07:26 PDT

I've been listening to some songs lately, that really hit me in the chest and either tell me to repent, or help me remember God's heart for the poor.

Check them out, and let me know what you think.

"Go Outside" by Robbie Seay Band
"Woe to You" by Matt Papa
"Tears from the Saints" by Leeland

Increased Visibility

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 09:09:48 PDT

I've been thinking of blogging with video. I'll still type out what I'm thinking, but I'll try to include a video version. So that I can be seen and heard as well. Sometimes things are best communicated this way. The only problem is that it's a lot more time consuming to record video, on top of typing, than going without. So, I may only do it a few times, and see how it goes from there. In any case, the idea is not so that I can puff myself up, but to provide a better grasp of what I'm trying to say. I was thinking the other day about that verse that reads,
"Where there is no vision, the people perish..."
Prov 29:18

So what would the reciprocal of that verse look like? Well, without vision there's death. So, with vision there has to be life. Now what does that have to do with anything? Well, I'm convinced when people are dropping like flies, it might be because there is no strong vision in their lives. I want to use everything I have to glorify God, even something as trivial as a blog. I'm thinking that I can help restore vision by broadcasting truth in "high definition". The words on this screen can not give you the tone that a human voice can. Lately, I'm being filled to the brim with things that must be shared. This is not about me. Like Jeremiah, it's about getting rid of the fire that is trapped inside my bones.

Fire creates light. Light enters through the iris and creates vision. You can't see without light. Therefore, you cannot see without fire, or an iris. Passion creates perspective. Perspective enters through the soul and creates truth. Fire is to passion as light is to perspective, and also vision is to truth. Basically, I've just outlined the three parts of the soul. The definition of a soul I use, is from a seminar by Bill Gothard called "Basic Youth Conflict."

"The soul is one's mind, will, and emotions."

I want to break this down further, so that no one will be confused. Mind, meaning thought processes, will, meaning drive or perhaps ambition, and emotions, meaning one's response to inner and outer stimuli.

All of this was inspired from reading the Gospel of John this morning in the very first chapter. Check it out.

"The light shines through the darkness, and the darkness can never extinguish it."
John 1:5 NLV

Just a quick skim through that chapter will show that John is pointing to Jesus as being the light (John 1:1-17). Now, this may not sound profound at first, but it's true. Jesus is the vision. Your heart longs to love Him. Your mind was created to think about Him. Your greatest ambition is to give your life completely over to Him. To me the best way to illustrate all this is very simple. Strike a match. Light a candle. What do you have? Something much better than a lit match, or a lifeless candle right? So, that tiny spark, now climbs on top of a candle, and that candle can now be used to make things much easier to see. Now check this out.

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength." Deuteronomy 6:5

All or nothing. That's what I see when I read this verse. Also, when I take a close look at how Jesus responds to people who approach him about becoming a disciple in the Gospels it's the same. To follow Jesus really is all or nothing. There's no half-sies. Notice the verse above does not read "You shall love the Lord your God with some of your heart, with a piece of your soul, and with what's left of your strength. No, it's with everything. Now, what does that have to do with the match and the candle? Jesus is the light, right? So, light is simple and evident, correct? For instance, a small child would be able to tell the difference between light, and darkness. So without light how can you see? Light has to pass through the lens of your iris in order to see with your eyes as mentioned earlier. Jesus is the light of the world. He's the light that goes on, and never goes out. Verses in the bible are like tiny pixels on this computer screen. They seem small all by themselves, but multiply them together and certain things that are fuzzy at first become clearer. Read enough chapters, and one starts to see the details fuse into the bigger picture. That bigger picture is Jesus. That's what this whole Christianity thing is supposed to be about. It's about Jesus. I worry about the Church here in North America. There's so much here to distract, confuse, discourage, stress, depress, cloud, dilute, and sugar coat us from a real blessing. It's about Jesus. Why should I be kind to that person, and tell him about the Lord, when they're cruel? It's about Jesus. If I stood up to others and said what I thought, they would laugh at my conviction. It's about Jesus. No, it's about Jesus. I know that I'm beating a dead horse, but I'm trying to make a point. I'm guilty of shoving away my cross too. Maybe if I say it this way, it will really hit home.

It's not about the following:
Your life
Your family
Your money, property, and stuff
Giving money to the poor
Your food
Your body
Your clothes

If I were a better scholar, I could probably list more. This list is derived from a series of things I've observed that Jesus has said in the Gospels and a book I've been reading called "Christ for Real" by Charles W. Price.

"If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple."
Luke 14:26

This is Jesus response to the rich young ruler.

"Then Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “One thing you lack: Go your way, sell whatever you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, take up the cross, and follow Me."
Mark 10:21

This is Jesus rebuking Judas Iscariot who really cared more about money than giving it away to the poor.

"For you have the poor with you always, and whenever you wish you may do them good; but Me you do not have always."
Mark 14:7

Here Jesus is talking about worrying about material things.

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?"
Matthew 6:25

Now, I can't just leave it all like that. I need to do some explaining. If you haven't noticed, not all things listed there are bad, or evil. For instance, I hope that no one who's reading this thinks they need to join the nudist colony. Heavens no! No, that would be an incorrect interpretation and application of that verse. Same as deciding not to eat anything, or letting go of your body to where things are getting quite unhealthy. See, it's not so much about what to do, or not do. It's about priorities. I mean, that list pretty much covers everything doesn't it? So, what's the main priority? It seems to be about Jesus. Even a good thing, is not necessarily a God thing. What do I mean? Helping the poor is great. I highly recommend it. You would have to accuse me of taking stupid pills if I said otherwise. God has an awesome heart towards the poor. Once again, however, it's about priorities. Jesus has to be first even above your own life, and family. Talk about a challenge. That's huge. That's why the world doesn't understand Jesus, or people who are following Him. The world asks "Why would you throw a perfectly good life away?"
A Christian would respond, "I'm not throwing it away, I've already given it away. I have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Without Christ, you have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. Why would you hold onto a crummy short lived life, with no hope or future?" It's about Jesus. That's what life is about. Do you want to know the meaning of life? Get in touch with the Author and Finisher of our faith. His name is Jesus.

Ugly truth

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 18:48:35 PDT

Picture it.
The sand carried by the arid heat at your back.
Your eyes look around, until you see the object right in front of you.
They start from below scanning until you reach the top.
In a matter of seconds, you put hands over your eyes and look away.
The smell of urine, and sweat fills the air around you.
Slowly, your eyes open with all the courage that you can muster,
and then you clasp your hands over your mouth in shock.
You’ve always known that blood would be a part of this scene,
but that’s not what really gets to you.
It’s his face.
He doesn’t have one.
It’s been violently ripped and now hangs in the breeze.
His own mother would have a hard time placing him.
A mass of hair and skin is all that remains.
Blood drips down what’s left of his nose.
His body hangs there on that cross like a rag doll.
His olive skin is cracked, broken…and bludgeoned.
This man is in such pain, that you’re knees give way beneath you.
He’s so weak.
The rhythm of his breathing is getting shorter and shorter,
as if he’s drowning in his own blood.
You can hear his raspy voice.
He struggles to say a few words.
Your eyes start to well with tears.
His body has been sliced to ribbons.
Pressure, pain, and agony are all His to bear.
Through crooked teeth, he speaks in Hebrew.
The audible language is unfamiliar to your ears,
but the language in action is clear.
It’s love.
Tears stream down your face,
as you shake your head.
This is no stain glass window.
This isn’t a marble statue.
It’s not a painting in oil, and pastels.
This is something horrible and violent.
This is something soul stirring, and shocking.
It is the ugly truth.
Can you see it?

Nuclear Fusion

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 16:07:36 PST

I think God gave me an idea, but maybe it was to inspire others to be creative and lead a small group bible study. I don't know. In any case, let me know what you think of it. If you were to talk about something, it would probably go like this
-jes

I have a deep desire for God’s Word, and to see myself and others grow in the Word, worship, prayer, and fellowship. I have a few ideas for things we might consider doing.

1. Select a name for the group.
I like the name “nuclear fusion” because of John 17:20-23 and Phil 2:1-11.

"My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me."-John 17:20-23

"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."-Phil 2:1-11

The connection that Jesus has with the Father God is absolutely perfect. In fact, it almost sounds like perfection squared. This is a major factor of Grace. To me, the very first bomb that was dropped was not Ivy Mike, it was Jesus Christ. When He came back to life after being dead three days in a tomb, everything changed. In Scripture, we read of dead holy people coming back to life after His resurrection (Matt 27:52). The magnitude of that spiritual tremor sent shockwaves throughout the world. In the book of Acts, His disciples could not stop speaking about the Gospel despite being beaten and jailed (Acts 1-3) In the Gospel of John, we find our place in the story as the fallout from that point of explosion. Why else would time have changed forever, since Jesus came to earth, died, and came back to life. Philipians 2 also brings that strong unity in Jesus to light, and gives us a clear example to follow.

“a nuclear fusion in which atomic nuclei of low atomic number fuse to form a heavier nucleus with the release of energy.” Another definition I like that I found from one of my textbooks on oceanography regarding the make up of the stars as “…a process that liberates energy.”

We are free. Jesus has bought us freedom. We are free. This applies everywhere to everyone. Jesus is the truth. The truth is eternal. Therefore, the truth of Jesus is everlasting.

2. Choose the method of research
a. Perhaps a dvd that leads us into deeper study of God’s Word.
For example, “Following in the Dust of the Rabbi.”
b. An inductive study of the Word that is an open forum discussion using pens and pencils to mark things down during the study.
c. The Acts 2uesday method. Break bread, fellowship, pray, break into groups (2-4 people) with one scribe, and one spokesman. The scribe writes down questions,and comments from each small group. The Spokesman reads these comments publicly before all the groups.
d. Serving the homeless and poor through an established ministry like "Volunteer Way", or __________ and/or reading God’s Word to see what’s written about the rich and the poor. The book of Proverbs, and James are both good places to start.

The Cost of Honesty (part 1)

jessefalleur@verizon.net — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 07:21:33 PDT

We are broken, so that we'll stay open. If we are closed, then we are indisposed.

This goes right along with the other blog "No dumping", and has also been on my heart lately. I really don't even know where to start. When we say, in Christian circles, "I am broken", we're really saying a mouthful, in those three little words;

"I am a sinner."
"I sin."
"I live in world that glorifies sin."
"God is deeply touching my heart, pointing out the sin within, and asking me to walk away from it."
"In spite of how wicked I am, God is so good, and I'm crying because I can't handle it,"etc.

There is more that could be said, but (thanks to the English language) one word can have several definitions. Usually, brokenness entails; conviction of sin, submission to God, and/or an awareness of sin. Chances are that we've sung, read, or even heard someone mention this idea of being broken. But like the sentence at the beginning, that's really only half of the bigger idea.

We are broken, so that we'll stay open.

It stands to reason, that if someone has broken their arms, AND their legs, they are really in no place to close off from the world. In fact, they need people MORE now then they did before. The simplest things as going to the bathroom, or changing a t.v. channel, is completely up to the kindness of others. So, how does this relate to sin, God, and our lives? Imagine that you are handicapped for life. I'm sure it's harder for some than others. Although there is probably some measure of independence, there is an almost certainty that accommodations will be necessary in order to suit your needs. Your life is filled with a keen awareness of your condition and the need for other people. The fact is, whether we're handicapped or not, we all need people in our lives. I'm using this as an example to contrast and compare physical properties with spiritual ones. We have a desperate need for God. It's possible to know how much we need people physically around us;however, I don't think we know the extent of the spiritual damage of sin and how only God can bring wholeness.

Soapbox Warning!!!!!

Now, I have a loaded sawed off shotgun (figurative people not literal) that I'm about to use on an idea that just needs to die. The fact that we have a need for God as broken sinners DOES NOT make us less of a person. The reason someone goes to kneel at the front of the aisle is to lay it all out before God. Is there a person on this planet that this does not apply to? Is there a magic wand that just helps us skip through James chapter 1? I don't think so. The word is very clear in 1 John 1:8,
"If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us."

Climbing back down two feet...

There is a beautiful release in emptying the contents of your heart and mind before God. In fact, it is highly recommended by five out of five doctors (Dr. David, Dr. John, Dr. Paul, Dr. James and Dr. Jesus) Psalms 32:5, 1 John 1:9, Rom 10:9, James 5:16, and Matt 5:17. Seriously, why is this open face something undesired in the modern church? There is freedom in surrender. I love how one brother said that, "What we try to hide, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers." Is it apparent how being open and broken go hand in hand? There is nothing to hide, when Jesus is your covering.

We are broken, so that we'll stay open. I think of the verse that shows how tender God made Paul's heart to the Corinthians.

"O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open."
2 Corinthians 6:11-13

I don't think Paul is belittling the Corinthians. I think he is filled to the brim with compassion, and godly frustration. It's almost like a father who is fed up with excuses from a distant child and says "Spit it out!" "What's going on?"

I know this is long, and I'm going to talk about "closed and indisposed" in a part two. How can we communicate, if we are only using pretense and not truth? There are different levels to whom we trust and share our deepest selves. I am aware that the cost of honesty is one's pride, but intimacy is impossible without honesty. I'm talking about love not sex. If we are honest with God, why is it a challenge to be honest with each other? I'm not suggesting that we should "air our laundry" outside. That's not wise
(see "No dumping?" blog).

I''m suggesting we trade our rags for riches and exchange our defective lives, for eternal youth. When things are right with God, chances are, that things are also right with the world again. Is the freedom evident? Am I making myself clear? I don't know where I heard this, but an honest man has nothing to be afraid of. If God is charge, then He is really the only One I should be afraid of, especially if He is just, righteous, and holy! If I've made things right with God, than I'm in the clear. It's already out there in the open. It's not hanging over my head anymore. It's gone. And if anyone says anything to dilute the work of the Spirit, I can just give it to the Lord, and He will deal with the problem. I'm only responsible for my own actions. I can't control other people. I'm going to choose to let Jesus reign over my life, and pray that others will do the same.

I've said this before, and I will say it again, I am not perfect. Only God is perfect. I have not arrived. I hold this verse to my heart, because it means so much to me.

"Not that I have attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me."
-Phil 3:12

I don't have Jesus. Jesus has me. I didn't look for Him. He looked for me. I'm not my own man. I've been bought with a price. Jesus is the biggest part of this relationship. He's the One who has me completely. But do I have Him completely? Not yet, but one day I will.

I sincerely believe that brokenness and openness is a process. For those who are Christians, it started the day they decided to become a disciple of Jesus Christ, but it was not to supposed to end there. I love how my brother Andy phrases it as "a surrendered life". Our cross is to be shouldered daily. It's very easy to forget the Jesus was split wide open just for us. His fleshly body was broken. Blood dripped down as he was cut open. Several places on his body were brutally broken. His own mother didn't recognize his face. He was open and He was broken. That is our call. We are to follow in His footsteps, and die, so that we can come back to life again.

"Widsom is supreme; therefore, get wisdom. Though it cost all you have get understanding."
-Proverbs 4:7