JesseCarl

New Code Blog

2011-05-01T09:17:00.002-07:00

I decided to start a blog to chronicle my programming exploits. Check it out at http://code-adventure.jessecarl.com/. I plan on doing some posts here that are tangentially related but not quite as technical. Look forward to reading my thoughts on why I like music on vinyl better than digitally; you may be surprised by my reasoning.

Zombie Queen

2011-02-08T21:02:00.003-07:00

Your trail of slack-jawed stricken
Clambering to be the next.

Undead masses heed your every word.

Zombie queen!
Undead princess!
Infecting all within your reach.

Revel in your horde,
While they have yet to turn.

Undead coup is festering now.

Zombie queen!
Undead princess!
Infecting all within your reach.

I won’t be touched.
I won’t be tainted!
I won’t drink your brew!!

Zombie queen!
Undead princess!
Infecting all within your reach.

blearghghgurgleguh!

My Songwriting Quest

2011-01-22T23:43:00.002-07:00

I’ve been writing songs inspired by scripture for quite some time now. It wasn’t until about a year ago that I actually had a chance to share my songs with my church. I was really surprised with the reactions people had; I have now even had people tell me they were singing one of my songs in the car that I had not played in months. I’m still not sure how to respond to this, but I think that I need to.

I’ve spent a great deal of time attempting to figure out how I can use my gifts to make a real impact. In this search, I have always discounted music as something like a lesser ministry. I have spent so much time with the scriptures where God implicitly and explicitly denounces ceremonial worship as empty when there is injustice being aided or abetted by the people of God, and I believe with so much of my being that this is the case in America today that I am often on the edge of quitting musical worship altogether. I now believe that musical worship is the best place for me to seek justice, or at least encourage others to do so.

There is more than enough evidence out there to show that music is in fact one of the most powerful and universal forces in the lives of human beings. In scripture, music is often associated with events where God displayed great power. Why shouldn’t I use music to help further God’s Kingdom?

So, I have resolved to concentrate my ministry efforts on music. I have also made it a goal to always base the songs I write for the Church on scripture, and to always include God’s heart for the poor, the oppressed, and the rejected. Maybe God will use these songs to break our hearts so that we can together do the good works he has called us to.

Your Greatest Commandment

2010-02-14T21:43:00.002-07:00

I have been writing/posting a lot of songs about girls and other “sad bastard music” topics lately, so it’s probably about time to share the lyrics to a song about something much more important: love. It is still Valentine’s Day, so here is my song about love. More specifically, this is a song about what it is supposed to look like to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30). Since this song is a worship song, I have included the references below the lyrics.

Your Greatest Commandment
To love You, the Lord our God.
How do we do that?
What is worship to you?
“Love your neighbor as yourself,”
You respond before we ask.
What we do for the least
We do for you.
Your Greatest Commandment
To love You, the Lord our God.
How do we do that?
What is worship to you?
Seek justice
Encourage the oppressed.
Defend the fatherless
And plead for the widow.
Your Greatest Commandment
To love You, the Lord our God.
How do we do that?
What is worship to you?
Let justice roll on
Like a river
Righteousness like a
Never-failing stream.
Your Greatest Commandment
To love You, the Lord our God.
How do we do that?
What is worship to you?

Mark 12:28–34
Matthew 25:31–46
Isaiah 1
Amos 5:18–24 (read the whole book; it’s my favorite)

Unless We Bet

2010-01-23T01:49:00.002-07:00

I wrote the lyrics to this a while ago. Tonight, after a long night of playing music by myself and with Chris (he posted the video on facebook, but I can’t seem to find a way to share it here…), I put it to music. I started with a little riff I had been using as an exercise all night, and laid it on top of a bit of a drone (with the help of my handy partial capo). The result was awesome. Add this to the list of songs I need to record soon.

As it all starts to fall in place,
I think of little but your face.
It’s one thing for me to move along;
I ask you now, would you sing my song?
Life takes us to funny places
I always wonder where my case is.
We won’t find out ’til it’s all done.
Unless we bet, we won’t have won.
What’s the risk of us together?
I’ve no leash, no ring, no tether…

Untitled Song

2010-01-09T12:53:00.004-07:00

I wrote this song the other day. The music has changed a couple times, but I need to sit down at the organ and get it down. I don’t have a title yet for it, but if you have any suggestions, I’ll gladly hear them.

I’m writing a letter
Filled with words which
Can’t make it past my lips,
But come to life
When, dripping from the nib,
Fall on cotton.
Crafting a melody
Conveying moods
My face cannot display,
But come come to life
When, singing from the strings,
Float in the air.
You won’t get the message.
Won’t hear a word.
That conversation will not
Occur for us.
Communication fails.
The silence wins.

Edit: I’ve completed the music for this song, and I hope to get a recording up soon.

Why Are The Hip Girls Never Good For Me?

2009-07-12T21:38:00.003-07:00

I wrote this song a couple months ago at a say hi show. I had arrived early enough to take a seat at the bar with a Johnnie Black while the opening band started. The first song featured the “hip girl” in the band on the bass. It was at this point that I realized how much that was attractive to me. I also recognized how stupid such an attraction was. After the set, I sat at a table and began writing this song. I’ll get a recording up with all the others one of these days, along with a couple other tunes I have recently finished. Here’s the song – keep in mind, there was whiskey involved.

The way they swing their hips
When they play the bass.
The way they purse their lips
When they put on their face.
Hip girls look good on stage
But they’re just no good for me.
Maybe it’s just my age…
I like the fantasy.
Knee length skirts and converse kicks:
The picture of perfection.
They make us all to look like hics,
So hip is their direction.
Hip girls look good on stage
But they’re just no good for me.
Maybe it’s just my age…
I like the fantasy.
With hair dyed black and bangs cut short,
The mood is apathetic.
Picky with whom they will cohort,
Keeping up is hectic.
Hip girls look good on stage
But they’re just no good for me.
Maybe it’s just my age…
I like the fantasy.

Escape

2009-04-04T18:45:00.003-07:00

I just wrote this song in the last two days. Nothing really behind it other than a desire to have a little change in my life, and having watched Slumdog Millionaire recently. So as to not sound like a complete anti-social hermit, I direct the song at a companion character.

Let’s get out of town.
Step off the merry-go-round.
I wanna get lost,
I wanna get away
I want to escape
With you.
Let’s go have adventures
Without safety, our fate unsure.
I wanna get lost,
I wanna get away
I want to escape
With you.
Let’s forget tomorrow,
Live now in joy not in sorrow.
I wanna get lost,
I wanna get away
I want to escape
With you.

Too Young to be in Love

2009-03-24T16:04:00.003-07:00

I wrote this a few years ago, and I don’t remember the music I wrote for it. I put it to some music I recently wrote, and it works wonderfully. It sounds a bit cynical, but it was exactly what was going through my head at the time:

I’ve seen far too many
Couples come and go.
I’ve seen far too many
Square pegs in round round holes.
They’re too young to be in love,
They’re too young to be in love.
What happens ten years down the line?
What happens when they’re twenty-nine?
I’ve seen far too few
Couples stick and stay.
I’ve seen far too few
Who let God lead the way.
They’re too young to be in love,
They’re too young to be in love.
What happens ten years down the line?
What happens when they’re twenty-nine?
I’ve seen far too often
Hearts break and shatter too.
And I don’t want this to happen
To us, to me and you.
We’re too young to be in love!
We’re too young to be in love!
What happens ten years down the line?
What happens when you’re twenty-nine?

Unearthed Treasures

2009-03-24T12:25:00.002-07:00

In rifling through my tattered Moleskine I’ve used for everything from drawing cartoons to venting my deepest frustrations, I discovered some long-lost lyrics from songs I have since forgotten the music to. I’ve taken the time to type them up and add some finishing touches. Since I’ve been on a bit of a dry spell lyrically, it’s exciting to have some lyrics to work with. I’ll go ahead and post the lyrics to the first two songs once I finish putting them to music.

It Has Been Too Long

2008-12-22T18:57:00.002-07:00

I am not a fan of the “personal update” blog entries, but I owe anybody who actually expects me to write anything a reasonable explanation for my hiatus. When last I blogged, I was digging in to my final semester. After eleven long semesters, I have completed my degree in Electrical Engineering. Now that I'm no longer a prisoner of the University of Arizona, I can have my life back.

I have a few things I could write about in the near future, and I figure it might be nice to know what people want to hear me write about. So, let me know if you would like to hear me rant about something in particular, or just the first random thing that comes to mind.

Even More On Christian Community

2008-08-27T19:46:00.002-07:00

So far, in this discussion, I have written of the absolute necessity of reconciliation. I feel very passionately about reconciliation, about deepening relationships rather than keeping them safe and easy, and about showing the world that we are followers of Jesus through our love for one another.

I am not always an easy person to get along with. If you know me at all, I don’t need to tell you all the reasons why. I go into relationships unafraid to offend. I try though, to be even more ready to apologize, forgive, and grow deeper in relationship.

A few years ago, I was driving in my car, and something hit my windshield. I now had a little chip in my windshield. I could have done the responsible thing by getting it fixed when it happened, but I am not exactly the model car owner. I did what was easy to do: I ignored the chip. The integrity of my windshield was compromised, but I chose to ignore it, because “it wasn’t that big of a deal.” Soon enough, the chip grew into a crack, but it was still easy to ignore it. I didn’t want to pay to fix my windshield. As time passed, the crack grew, and grew. By the time I was driving back from northern Arizona a couple of years ago, the crack extended across the windshield, and was so visible, I was pulled over because of it. It turns out, the state doesn’t like it when you have a cracked windshield. Something about safety...

I think you are smart enough to know where I’m going with this. When we don’t deal with our anger and hurt, resentment grows like cracks, compromising the integrity of the relationship. If we let this happen, our relationships can easily be broken.

I think it is very important for community to allow conflict to occur. When we avoid it, we choose the easy route. When we allow it, in healthy amounts, we strengthen our relationships, go deeper, and avoid the kind of catastrophic conflict which can truly endanger community. In short, we cannot afford to maintain the illusion of community at the expense of real community.

More On Christian Community

2008-08-19T20:54:00.004-07:00

Before my mind begins to wander in another direction, I feel it is appropriate to continue my thoughts on Christian community. As I try to follow Jesus, I find myself increasingly passionate about the idea of reconciliation. I don’t think this passion is something I should keep to myself. Paul writes in his second letter to the church in Corinth, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. (II Cor. 5:17-19)” Reconciliation with God through Christ is the foundation upon which the Kingdom of God is built.

Because we made the choice to follow our own way instead of God’s, our relationship with God was severed. This not only marred our relationship with God himself, but also with all of his creation, including the world around us and other people. We even have disunity between our own body, mind, heart, and soul. All of existence is screwed up because we cut the only tether keeping it all together. Christ came to repair that broken link, so that existence would become as it should be. Our reconciliation with God through Christ is that new bond through which all other reconciliation is possible.

What I find very interesting though, is how much reconciliation with each other is tied up with our reconciliation with God. Jesus puts it beautifully, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift. (Mat. 5:23-24)” We dare not approach the perfect God for forgiveness while we are not willing to approach another sinner. If we are in fact committed to following Jesus, and we truly desire to be forgiven by him, we should have no problem asking forgiveness from each other. And if Jesus, who did no wrong, can forgive even the worst we can do to him, shouldn’t we, who do wrong constantly, be able to forgive each other?

I’ll leave my rant there for the time being. I have so much more to say about this most important subject.

On Christian Community

2008-08-16T11:55:00.003-07:00

It has been a while since I last made any attempt at an entry. So much for weekly Top 5 lists (we’ll see if I feel up to it again). I think I am going to give focus to my blog a bit more. I will use this as my space to share the things I am learning about Jesus. I’m a huge fan of Jesus, and I think about him a lot. So, I will finally let everybody else in on those rants I go on when I am alone in the car or in the shower.

I have been thinking a lot about this topic for a while, trying to gather my thoughts, questioning the validity of my ideas, and generally trying to figure out if this is truth that I have stumbled upon or just my own feelings. On Friday morning, on my daily bus commute, I was reading from Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s book, Life Together. I will spare you all the details behind the book, except to say that it is a book written about Christian community in the midst of Nazi oppression of the Church, by a man who was executed in a concentration camp one week before it was liberated (if you are not familiar with Bonhoeffer, you really should read up on his life). Rather than start with my own ideas, let me just give you this excerpt from the section titled, Not an Ideal but a Divine Reality:

Just as surely as God desires to lead us to a knowledge of genuine Christian fellowship, so surely must we be overwhelmed by a great disillusionment with others, with Christians in general, and, if we are fortunate, with ourselves.
By sheer grace, God will not permit us to live even for a brief period in a dream world. He does not abandon us to those rapturous experiences and lofty moods that come over us like a dream. God is not a God of the emotions but the God of truth. Only that fellowship which faces such disillusionment, with all its unhappy and ugly aspects, begins to be what it should be in God’s sight, begins to grasp in faith the promise that is given to it. The sooner this shock of disillusionment comes to an individual and to a community the better for both. A community which cannot bear and cannot survive such a crisis, which insists upon keeping its illusion when it should be shattered, permanently loses in that moment the promise of Christian community. Soon or later it will collapse. Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial.

I really recommend reading this whole book, since there is so much Godly wisdom in it. Let me know your thoughts on this passage.

His Ways and Our Ways

2008-02-26T17:49:00.004-07:00

White hot pain envelopes me:
Tendon pulling free of my leg.
Stumbling now, I sit and breath.
I cry out to God now and beg.

Lord please heal me!
Take away all this pain!
Set me free!

His ways and our ways
Are seldom the same:
His plans are bigger than me.

Try a splint; the pain still grows.
The tears start to stream down my face.
I want to quit, but all I know:
I’ve got to get out of this place.

Lord please heal me!
Take away all this pain!
Set me free!

His ways and our ways
Are seldom the same:
His plans are bigger than me.

Have no choice, must change my gait,
Rely on my walking stick now.
I know this pain won’t go away.
To leave I must fight my way out.

Lord please heal me!
Take away all this pain!
Set me free!

His ways and our ways
Are seldom the same:
His plans are bigger than me.

See the end, my hope is raised.
Fear now is gone: the end is here.
Pain lives on, but God be praised!
Victory shows He’s always near.

Lord please heal me!
Take away all this pain!
Set me free!

His ways and our ways
Are seldom the same:
His plans are bigger than me.

Keep Warm and Well Fed

2008-02-22T15:27:00.002-07:00