JessenTan Zone

Random..

2011-08-02T19:40:00.000-07:00

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

- Neale Donald Walsch

10 Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

2011-03-07T18:09:00.000-08:00

Rule One:

If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:

You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I
will remove them.

Rule Three:

I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise:
You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off
during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:

I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:

It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require
from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six:

I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven:

As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like
changing the oil in my car?
Rule Eight:

The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:

Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:

Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange
starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with
both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to
come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

Reunion Dinner 05.02.2011

2011-02-26T02:50:00.000-08:00

30 relatives came for this grand dinner

Ordered satay to be picked up at 4.30pm but the guys only started to open their shop at 4.30pm..

200 sticks of satay ayam

Dishes was not enough due to some Technical error (my brother said he would supplied his famous Thai Frid Rice but he didn't) but we did some makeshift dishes i.e. sandwiches.

30 full and happy relatives..

Hatyai Trip 06.02.2011

2011-02-26T02:34:00.000-08:00

Honda Shop is a must stop for this two friends.

Hotel view..can you hear the buzzing of the electric current?

This elephant was not here when we came last visit.

The most dangerous job in the world..and this guy doesn't even wear a mask.

Popee..popee..

We skipped hotel's free breakfast for this dim sum.

Market selling flowers.

Cool Ad!

2011-02-22T21:47:00.000-08:00

Laksa Lemak at Alor Setar

2010-12-23T19:02:00.000-08:00

Bought 16 packets of laksa lemak for Sister-In-Law and gang from Johor Bharu recently.

Wifey ate the laksa deliciously ;)

Not a drop of soup left..nearly jilat the plate. hehehe

Wat Chaiyamangalaram, Penang

2010-12-23T18:50:00.000-08:00

Made a trip to the Pulau Tikus temple with families.

Offerings to the monks residing in the temple.

Mean Machine 2010

2010-10-31T07:52:00.000-07:00

It was held at Auto City, Prai, Penang.

Picture Taken by Blackberry 9700

Macallum Flat at Penang

2010-10-18T23:50:00.000-07:00

The flat was inherited and its up for SALE/RENT.

Rent: RM450/month

Sale: RM72,000.00

Pictures are taken from Blackberry 9700.

Nine Gods Temple at Raja Uda

2010-10-17T20:21:00.000-07:00

The biggest temple in Asia/World?

Nine Gods Temple at Alor Setar

2010-10-17T20:16:00.000-07:00

Felt like in China when I walked through the lorong going to the Temple. At least 80% of the traders are foreign.

Blackberry vs Apple vs Blackberry.

2010-10-12T07:24:00.000-07:00

Blackbery shooting Apple.

Apple hits Back.

Raya Trip to Hatyai

2010-09-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

A friend went to this Honda showroom to buy keychains for his nephews. The shop has a collection of old bikes which brought back memories...

On the way to Hatyai, there's a temple which is being upgraded at the moment. As there is no visitors yet, we happily breathe in the sceneries.

Upgraded old Temple..

Heritage Penang

2010-08-31T18:57:00.000-07:00

HaHaHa..Funny :D

2010-08-21T21:35:00.000-07:00

A blonde went into a worldwide message center to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: "But I don't have that much money. But I'd do anything to get a message to my mother."

The man arched an eyebrow. "Anything?" he asked.

"Yes, yes, anything" the blonde promised.

'Well, then, just follow me" said the man as he walked towards the next room.

The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.

"Come in and close the door" the man said.

She did.

He then said, "Now get on your knees."

She did.

"Now take down my zipper."

She did.

"Now go ahead, take it out," he said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands.

Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered, "Well, go ahead."

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said,

"Hello, Mom, can you hear me?"

Tambun Biscuit

2010-08-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

Soon Heang Tambun Biscuit near Jalan Kuantan, Penang.

Quite a heritage place, with local oldies running the show inside..which is very rare as everyone else are using foreigners to help them.

Vincent acting as An eager customer knocking on the front door..

There's no walk-in customer as one needs to place order first before coming in..sort of like Domino's Pizza.

The old Auntie let us taste one of the biscuit, which came out straight from the oven and is placed on the tray for cooling before packaging.

It burnt our tongue when we took the first bite but the biscuit melt in the mouth right after that..worth burning for ;D

Pray..Pray..

2010-08-01T04:45:00.000-07:00

It was a BIG day at Guan Yin Temple in Penang on Friday 30th.

Went there with Vincent, after our lunch thinking that there's less people visiting.

What were we thinking!!

The place was SMOKY! HEAT is everywhere! FIRE is everywhere!

AND yet the place did not deter anyone from walking away from the temple.

FIFA World Cup 2010

2010-06-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

Few days left to

WORLDS' GREATEST BATTLES!!

I also have started a pool so that watching the games in the middle of the night be more interesting. Its real easy..just fill in the blanks. Here is the sample of my submission.

Its not GAMBLING! I do not charge anything from this. Hopefully the winner would treat me to a nice dinner.

Anybody is free to join in as the more entries the merrier.

I would in time to time update this blog together with the updated winner..so that you would know who is going to take the POT.

Anyway..GOOD LUCK.

Pst! By the way, the winner for 2010 World Cup is ITALY!!!!

Forex World..Here I Come

2010-05-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

Finally, after much hesitation (mostly financial) I have opened an account in the Forex world at FXOPEN, with MetaTrader 4.0 platform. The platform can be downloaded through FXOPEN.
They even gave me an extra USD25.00 as a gift into my account..wooo

Since FXOPEN doesn't impose any minimum amount to open an account, I invested USD500.00 (RM1,750.78) through LIBERTY RESERVE.

Firstly, we have to buy/sell USD locally from JTGOLD, which within minutes, they delivered the USD to LIBERTY RESERVE. I did the online transfer to JTGOLD through a local bank.
Note: JTGOLD is acting like a local money exchange company.

Three not so simple steps, of which I have spent half of my day at Starbucks, Autocity.
1. FXOPEN
2. LIBERTY RESERVE
3.JTGOLD

Those who are interested or confused about entering the FOREX world, do contact me. I admit, I'm a newbie but my experience is more now after coffee of the day (Sumatra)..hehe

IS THIS MY ROAD TO FINANCIAL FREEDOM..HMMMMMmmmmm ;D

Wat @ Sungai Dua

2010-04-12T06:06:00.000-07:00

I made it a point to visit a nearby Wat during the first week of every month. This time it was a Wat near Sungai Dua, Prai, Penang.

Such a strange thing to see during a visit to the Wat. The chicken is resting on top of ashes of the urn. Is it a sign of something..maybe not..HHmmmmm

Back to the amulet shop, bought one double faced Gumanthong bucha for luck..hehe

Queue..Jam..Queue..

2010-04-11T05:27:00.000-07:00

Queue to pray..spent around half hour of smoke drench room....

Queue for Ice-Cream..spent around 1 hour in the wrong queue and gave up....

Queue to buy books..spent nearly 1 hour in the queue and gave up....

Well, at least we are civilized enough to queue and not like other third world country!!

Blackberry Bold

2010-04-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

It's been roughly a month now that I've been using Blackberry with Digi RM58.00 per month package.

Daily affair not only is checking out emails, but Facebook & Twitter updates too.

Not to mention, the constantly online MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, Blackberry Messenger & AOL Messenger..imagine the amount of text messages that's saved.

Can't imagine why I didn't follow the crackberry faze earlier....

Challenge for 2010

2010-02-12T23:37:00.000-08:00

Do you dare to challenge the known or the unknown?

Well, the commitment for this year IS to challenge the traditional thinking & the unknown matters that comes SPLAT in the face.

Is it going to be tough?

Is it going to be worth while?

Lot's of question to be asked and answered this year.

The year of the TIGER..ROooaarr...

And it all depends on our ATTITUDE & the ABILITY to face the challenge.

To those who are in their comfort zone....be COMFORTABLE!

To those who are thinking out of the box....enjoy the VIEW!

To those who are unsure of their zone, PICK a side....you are not YOUNG anymore!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

GONG XI FA CAI!!

Nikon Camera

2010-01-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

Nikon camera with face-detection ad is damn funny. Do not want to be in his position when taking outdoor pictures LOL ;p

To A Good 2010 Year..

2009-12-31T07:08:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Y'All !!

Counting down @ home with Online/Facebook Friends..sad? but its safer ;P

M not risking the car & life from;

being sprayed on..

drunk drivers..

sleepy bus drivers..

stolen like RMAF jet engines..

Anyway, on the bright side..

Nicholas has attended the SK Lay Keow Orientation & is going there next year (7yrs-old)..

Jay has attended the Phileo Nursery Orientation & is going there next year (3yrs-old)..

Its going to be a BUSY year ahead..