Jessica Chobot Sucks

This deserves its own post

2009-07-15T14:16:00.001-04:00

Anonymous said...

RIGHT BACK AT YOU WE PRAY FOR YOU CRUEL LIARS THAT FIND ENJOYMENT AT TRYING TO DEFAME ANOTHER READ THE BIBLE YOU HELLBOUND SOULESS FUCKS

Anonymous said...

AND SAY IT TO MY FACE GOMER AND ALL YOU POOR MEN THAT SHE WOULDENT DATE BECAUSE YOUR ILLETERATE MONKEY SPAWN AND PROBOLY IN JAIL PRESENTLY SO WHEN THEY GIVE YOUR ASS A BREAK CHECK OUT THESE CIMMENTD SND YES I HAVE CONTACYS GOOD THING I GAVE UP THE WITCHCRAFT AND TURNED TO JESUS OTHERWISE YOU'D BE TOSSEN SALASDS IN THE GYM WHILE THEY RUN A TRAIN IN== YOUR STRETCHED OUT ASS HOPE YPU ENJOY PRISONSEX MOROMS LISTEN TO TOOL OPIATE HUSH SWEAT JERKOFF

Anonymous said...

YES SO WHQT IF I SPELLED IT WRONG YOU CANT READ ANYWAY AND YOUR ARIAN BROS IN THE CELLBLOCK WHO CAN READ CAN 3UCK HITLER AND SNOOPDOG YUP I HOPE YOU LIKE PUSHINSTOOL ERIC

Yeah it was posted 6 months ago, but holy shit is it hilarious. I've got nothing to add.

Jessica Chobot naked

2008-04-30T11:56:00.003-04:00

I love that this site went 2 and a half years without an update, and yet still rests at the top of Google searches for "Jessica Chobot nude". I'm only 7th in "jessica chobot naked", though. Oh well. Sorry to disappoint the 20,000+ of you that visited this site hoping to find her naked pictures. I don't have them. If I did, I'd probably have to gauge my eyes out after seeing them, so I wouldn't be able to post them here anyway.

2008-04-29T12:54:00.000-04:00

Jessica Chobot still sucks.

I'm just sayin'.

2005-08-20T21:37:00.000-04:00

GoonerBoy said...

Mate, do you want to kiss her? No.
On her downstairs area? Do you mean her vagina, or her basement? It's ok to say vagina here, we're all adults. Except for the 12 year old fan boys that come here looking for "chobot nude pics psp licker". And the answer is no, I do not want to kiss her on her downstairs area.
You so do, you poor little chap. I so don't, you poor little chap.
The thing is, my frustrated little friend, I can see into your future. Please, Mr. Cleo, tell me what my future holds.
And it goes like this. I can't wait to hear it.
You sitting in your tawdry little bedroom My bedroom is not gaudy or cheap in nature, nor is it shameful or indecent, nor, for that matter, is it little. But please, do continue.
waiting for your mum to call you down to dinner Well, I live alone. So far, you're 0 for 2 on your future predictions. But please, continue.
masturbating like a monkey I'm not sure how much a monkey masturbates. But if it's a lot, then you got this part right.
and getting more and more angry as you watch her star inexorably rise. Actually, I'm really not gonna get any angrier no matter how much more famous she becomes. I'm not even really all that angry as it is. I'm basically just partially annoyed at the fact that she has become famous for absolutely no reason.
Life's so much better when you're less angry. Yes, yes it is.
Just out of interest, have you got a girlfriend? Yes, yes I do. Sorry to disappoint you.

2005-08-04T18:05:00.000-04:00

I'm #1 on MSN for She Sucks Penis. Good times.

Yeah, I've had some weird search referals. I've gotten hits for "first pubic hair", "she sucks his penis" and "paris sucks" in addition to the normal "jessica chobot naked", "jessica chobot pics", "jessica chobot nude" hits that I get. But if you want more Jessica Chobot love than I can provide, you gotta go here.

2005-08-01T19:04:00.000-04:00

Justin's Super Secret Chobot Project

Do it.

2005-07-24T22:50:00.000-04:00

So I noticed in my link tracking that I've gotten a few hits from this message board full of fanboys.

Says spirishman,
wow...that guy....is like a less cool and all around not as awesome version of maddox....but just not cool enough to get that tagging
Maddox is funny. I'm not. I'm not aspiring to be funny. I'm aspiring to get the word out that Jessica Chobot is a stupid bitch that sucks at life.

Says brashfink,
I posted on his blog...

"Whatever, you have lost your mind. Someone should make a law that prevents people from using the Internet as a substitute for a life and girlfriend."

What a complete tool. He is just trying to get hits.
5k hits and counting. Nothing to write home about, but not bad considering I don't really give a shit.

Says slick,
Pfft. That's stupid... how can you hate someone just for being famous? And probably a better gamer?
I don't hate her for being famous, I hate her for the way she became famous. It's been explained many times. Basically, she's a stupid bitch and has no reason to be famous, and yet she is famous nonetheless. As for her being a better gamer, who knows. Only way we'd know for sure is if we competed against each other in something. And that'll probably never happen.

Next:
What the hell man!
Why would you hate a big-boobed NOT UGLY OR NERDY female gamer!
And she even licked a psp, c'mon... HOW CAN YOU HATE HER! THE INSANITY!
(Sorry for the caps... but i got a little bit frustrated... lol)
That was posted by 1nsan1ty. That's "1nsan1ty" with "one" instead of "i", obviously done to show how hardcore he is. He then showed how hardcore he isn't by closing with "lol." What the hell is funny about you gettting frustrated? "I am so angered that I will now laugh out loud!" Fucking moron. But then, his hardcore-ness is saved by his signature, featuring the following quote: "I ART AWSOME, THOU ART NOOB!" Obviously putting anyone who reads that into their place, and also putting any doubt of his being "awsome" out of mind. Also she is ugly. And why is the fact that she licked a psp a benefit to her character? That's the fucking reason we hate her. By we, I mean all the other haters that stand beside me. And big boobed? I think not. Those aren't all that big. Not saying she's flat, but to say she's big boobed is untrue.

Brashfink also wrote,
That is not quiote correct... Hot gaming chick who writes articles for IGN and RedAssedBaboon.com who recently had her picture taken licking a PSP and exploded all over the Internet.
PSP licking came first. Then the job at IGN. That's why she sucks. She wouldn't have the IGN job if not for the PSP picture. Get your facts straight.

Brashfink also wrote,
EDIT, Man, look at her REVIEW of a semi-pr0n anime game. How can you hate a girl who talks like this...

"Graphics are decent. Very light-hearted anime feeling. Cute expressions and nice voice acting (for what it is). All the scenes are still-shots. Game play is very tedious. For a game that is an excuse to jack-off, there’s an incredible amount of buildup...which just leads to blue balls, frustration and boredom. However, if you manage to stick with it, the ending is decently rewarding. With the five different characters to interact with, replay value is strong."

And I'm the one that needs a girlfriend? "OMG, a girl talked about masturbating. Hey, I like to masturbate! That girl therefore must be perfect and infallible."

Brashfink also wrote (in another thread),
Are you talking about MAN-Jaw Morgan Web?! She looks like a dude from the neck up.
Slick agreed with that comment a few posts down. Which proves you're both dumbasses. Morgan Webb > Jessica Chobot. FACT.

Brashfink wrote again,
Christ... I would delete this entire thread in a nano-second if I thought she would actually see it! LoL
Why? Would it ruin the already non-existant chances you have with her?

Alright, enough Brashfink. Moving on to another topic:
Why, when I (or anyone, for that matter) says she's not hot, you fuckers immediately play the "gay" card?

Gir489 wrote,
They're like Madox, only gay.

Butt Pirate (spelled in some 3l33t haxx0r way) wrote,
For me I like her though not insane about her. It's just that he's maybe in my opinion a pathetic loser who just hates girls. So in other words he's... you know what!

Anonymous said...

Dude, wtf is wrong with you!
I think you're gay!
I mean, why else would you hate a nice girl...

Come up with a better insult. Playing the "ur gay!!!1!!!1!" card is so fucking lame. Just because I don't find an unattractive, stupid bitch to be attractive, doesn't mean I'm gay.

2005-07-24T22:16:00.000-04:00

Anonymous said...

Dude...5 bucks you're a virgin.

Dude...You owe me 5 bucks.

brashfink said...

Whatever, you have lost your mind. Someone should make a law that prevents people from using the Internet as a substitute for a life and girlfriend.

I'll vote in favor of that law. I've spent a grand total of maybe an hour total (and that's probably an over-estimate) on this site in the amount of time it has been up. I've got a life outside this. I'm only posting here now because Justin linked to me recently and I figured there'd be a small influx of new viewers and comments. I especially love the ones that are Pro-Chobot, because inane fanboy comments are fun to respond to. For example....

Anonymous said...

Dude, wtf is wrong with you!
I think you're gay!
I mean, why else would you hate a nice girl...

Nope, not gay. Wishful thinking on your part I guess. And she may be nice (I doubt it, though), but that doesn't change the fact that she's a fucking moron. Dumber than you, even. And that's saying something.

pred said...

Just because you claim she’s "nice" doesn’t mean a thing. You have no way of knowing this. I go by what I see and by what she writes. From that I gather she is dumb, ugly, and old.

Yup.

Ah, the sweet sight of a reasonable statement among all the dumbass fanboys that come here. Pred speaks the truth.

Someone's a fanboy...

2005-07-07T14:25:00.000-04:00

Anonymous said...

OK, what the hell? Why do you hate her so much? I meen honestly... shes fucking hot, shes a gamer, and she not some dumb ass poser. And perhaps you should use your "talent" on somthing else like, o i dont know, a log of you getting your first pubic hair. but yea, ya know have fun on the internets ragin on people who couldnt care less about you.
Yea and the PSP isnt a console its a handheld... ass, and since im im sure you will delete this as soon as you see it since your a coward who cant stand up to any scrutiny of his views.im gonna put in my email... mortealiante@gmail.com feel free to send me your comments

Alright, let's get right to it:

OK, what the hell? What the hell indeed.

Why do you hate her so much? Because she's a no-talent assclown who got famous for no other reason except for having boobs and licking a shitty gaming system and posting the picture onto the internet. If I licked a PSP before she did, you can damn well bet I wouldn't have a job with IGN right now. She doesn't deserve whatever fame she's received. And again, before anyone goes and calls me a hypocrite by saying "Well this site is giving her more fame, so you're stupid blah blah blah," let me say that no one stumbles across this page accidentally. If you search for "Jessica Chobot" and find this page, that means you know who Jessica Chobot is. She has boobs and claims to be some sort of gamer, so some idiots think that's reason enough to make her famous.

I meen honestly... shes fucking hot, I mean honestly, she's fucking not.

shes a gamer, She dissed Nintendo, she talked about modding her XBox. True gamers do not do these things.

and she not some dumb ass poser. Yes, she is.

And perhaps you should use your "talent" on somthing else like, o i dont know, a log of you getting your first pubic hair. I realize that I am also a no-talent ass clown. However, I will not get famous because of it. As for when I got my first pubic hair, I don't recall the exact date and time. It was quite a while ago.

but yea, ya know have fun on the internets ragin on people who couldnt care less about you. Thanks, I will. And you have fun leaving comments on the internets ragin on people who couldnt care less about you.

Yea and the PSP isnt a console its a handheld... And a shitty one at that.

ass, Real mature.

and since im im sure you will delete this as soon as you see it Yeah, I'll do that, except instead of deleting it, I'll make it a post on the front page.

since your a coward who cant stand up to any scrutiny of his views. You're, not your. And yes, I can stand up to scrutiny.

im gonna put in my email... mortealiante@gmail.com feel free to send me your comments I think this was a sufficient enough response to you. But if you've got any more comments for me, feel free to leave them. And that goes to anyone out there.

Good times.

2005-07-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

"Anonymous said...

all of this shi** just cause she shot you down,you would not be this up in arms about it if there was nothing personal behind it i read the posts the sun aint as clear is you and your wounded pride playa got shot down you and evreybody reading this know i am right which is why this will be deleted asap playa got shot down"

I'm sorry, I don't speak "stupid" fluently, so I'm gonna try my best with this shit. I believe I've split this up into what would've been separate thoughts, but who knows. Here goes:

I believe "all of this shi** just cause she shot you down" means that the reader thinks I was rejected in some way, shape, or form by that PSP-licker. Which just plain isn't true. I've never met her or talked to her at all, ever.

"you would not be this up in arms about it if there was nothing personal behind it" is pretty easy to understand, and it's true. I personally think she's stupid, and annoying, and not that attractive, and definitely not "the perfect woman" as described by our good friends at IGN. So personally, I hate her for being famous for no reason, much the same way I hate other stupid bitches that get famous for no reason (Paris Hilton, et al). So yes, there is a personal feeling of hatred, however not personal in the respect that you implied. Like I said, I never met her, never interacted with her in any way. I just don't like her outward appearance. She comes off as annoying and stupid. I don't blame her for cashing in on the fame that was presented to her, but it was her own damn fault for getting to that point in the first place. She seductively licked a gaming console and posted the picture on the internet, it's not like she didn't expect a reaction.

Now, here's where it get's tricky for me:

"i read the posts the sun aint as clear is you and your wounded pride" ????? What's with the sun? Wounded pride? Wherefore is my pride wounded?

"playa got shot down you and evreybody reading this know i am right" Well, I assume I am the "playa" and again, you are assuming that Miss Chobot rejected me. And again, you are incorrect. So "evreybody" reading this that "knows" you are right, is actually wrong.

"which is why this will be deleted asap" Well, it hasn't been deleted yet, and I see no reason for this to happen any time soon.

" playa got shot down" Again, with the me getting shot down being incorrect.

Also, since I've already received one google hit for "chobot naked," I figure I'll throw these out there for good measure: jessica chobot naked, jessica chobot nude, jessica chobot pics, jessica chobot is an attention whore, ign sucks for making jessica chobot famous, ign sucks, fuck you ign, seriously ign go fuck yourselves.

Well, it was only a matter of time.

2005-07-03T12:29:00.000-04:00

An ex-boyfriend has come forward with a NSFW pic of everyone's least favorite PSP-licker. It's about damn time. This almost makes me not hate her as much. Almost.

Jessica Chobot Naked

2005-06-26T16:47:00.000-04:00

"Anonymous said...

She is sucking all the way to the bank. Let it go. She found semi fame from being considered hot and you are jealous your witty sites don't get the same response hers does because she has a vagina and you have a penis. Let it go."

I don't care if no one ever finds this site and I never get famous. Nothing will change the fact that Jessica Chobot sucks. Plus, we can't even be sure she has a vagina. I'm just sayin'.

2005-06-26T16:38:00.000-04:00

" Anonymous said...

Why would you be mad at her? Instead you should try being mad at the morons who made her famous because she licked a psp. No one can be famous without morons to make them famous."

Yes, IGN is stupid for giving her an interview. And yes, G4TV is stupid for putting her on some of their shows. But that still doesn't change the fact that she sucks. She has her own column somewhere out on the internets, and it sucks. This site isn't making her any more famous than she already is either, so don't go calling me a hypocrite. You're not here unless you already know who she is. And if you stumbled upon this page randomly, then move along, nothing to see here. She's a stupid bitch that's not even all that hot anyway who got famous because she licked a shitty handheld gaming system. DS > PSP. Orignal Gameboy > PSP. Game Gear > PSP. Ngage = PSP. The PSP sucks, and so does Chobot.

PS- I'm not Justin.

Jessica Chobot Sucks

2005-06-22T11:14:00.000-04:00

Who agrees?