The Road Jess Travelled

Early Signs of an Abusive Person

2022-11-06T12:05:00.000-08:00

Early Signs of an Abusive Person

A friend of mine recently posted an article on her Facebook page titled "Top 10 Signs of an Abusive Man". I commend her for spreading the information as all too many people are abused and the initial signs can be quite subtle and the abuse often will escalate over weeks, months and even years. Abusers are very rarely abusive at the beginning of a relationship. But one thing they all have in common is that they are not able to keep their abusive behaviour in check for too long.

One thing that is all too often over looked, however is that it is not only men that are abusers and it is not only women that are abused. Not only that, but it is also not only people who are in intimate relationships who are subjected to abuse.

There are many different types of abuse and many shades of each one. I will do my best to define as many of the types as I am able and to provide examples as thoroughly as possible so that it can be best understood how mistreatment of another person is not only due to being bruised or having broken bones. I will also show you how to recognize when you are being mistreated.

The types of abuse I will be talking about in this article are verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, economic abuse, stalking, digital abuse, isolation and psychological abuse.

Who are Abusive People

First, let's get a little bit of background on what type of person is an abusive person. When the average person thinks of an abusive person, they automatically think of a man. They also automatically see a man who is likely over 30, blue collar, under-educated, probably overweight, lower socioeconomic status, and possibly a drug user or an alcoholic. Unfortunately, these are all stereotypes.

Abusers come from all walks of life and can be anyone from your doctor to your child's elementary teacher or the actor in your favourite television show to the barista down the street. They can be men, women, young, old, well educated, a drop-out, physically fit or not. They can have any job imaginable or be unemployed and they can have drug and/or alcohol problems or they may have never touched either one.

Someone who is abusive to others is often someone who has been abused themselves and typically that abuse began in their early childhood years. They typically abuse because they have a desire for control. They need help and so do those they abuse.

Types of Abuse and How to Recognize Them Early

This is where I will get more descriptive so you not only learn how to recognize some warning signs but also how to know when to possibly step in to help someone you know who may be in an abusive relationship.

1. Verbal Abuse—They call you names, humiliate you and ridicule you. Initially in private and eventually in front of others. They may verbally threaten you, attempt to frighten you, say things they know will hurt you. They may even say things to others behind your back in an attempt to destroy your friendships or relationships with family as a route to isolate you.

1. Jealousy and Possessiveness—Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views a partner and/or children as property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with others without cause. Always asks where you’ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner. They may follow you or track you using your phone, smart watch, a tracking device on your car, etc.

2. Control—They are overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. They controls finances, the car, how you dress, who you spend time with, how your home is decorated, what foods you eat and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if you begin showing signs of independence or strength.

3. Superiority—They are always right, have to win or be in charge. They always justify actions so they can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive person will talk down to you or call you names in order to make themselves feel better. The goal of an abusive person is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.

4. Manipulates—Tells you you’re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it’s your fault they are abusive. Says they can’t help being abusive so you feel sorry for them and you keep trying to “help” them. Tells others you are unstable.

5. Mood Swings—Their mood switches from aggressive and abusive, to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.

6. Actions don’t match words—They break promises, say they love you, and then abuse you.

7. Punishes you—An emotionally abusive person may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the “silent game” as punishment when they don't get their way. They verbally abuse you by frequently criticizing you.

8. Unwilling to seek help—An abusive person doesn’t think there is anything wrong with them so why should they seek help? Does not acknowledge their faults or blames it on their childhood or outside circumstances.

9. Disrespects others—Shows no respect towards parents, siblings, or any people (especially of whichever gender they are attracted to) in their life. Thinks others are stupid and worthless.

10. Has a history of abusing others and/or animals or was abused themselves—Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out others who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused people have a great chance of becoming abusers. Those who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse partners also.

If you continue to stay in an abusive relationship because you think they will change and start treating you well, think again. An abusive person does not change without long-term therapy and a genuine desire to change. Most abusers will never have a genuine desire to change because they do not think there is anything wrong with them. Therefore they will never seek out counseling and if they do agree to go to counseling, they will manipulate the counselors and present themselves as the perfect partner who is being abused by you. Please be aware of this potential outcome.
Group counseling sessions are particularly helpful in helping abusive people recognize their abusive patterns. Type A personality types seem to be more prone to abusive behavior due to their aggressive nature. Drugs and alcohol can create or further escalate an abusive relationship. Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous are excellent programs for an addict. The abuser’s partner should also seek help for their codependent behavior at Codependents Anonymous.

If the abusive person is not willing to seek help, then you must take action by protecting yourself and any children involved by leaving. By staying in an abusive relationship, you are condoning it. If you are scared you won’t be able to survive because of finances, pick up the phone book and start calling shelters or other agencies in your area. Try calling family, friends, and associates and ask them if they can help or know of ways to help. Once you leave, the abuser may cry and beg for forgiveness but don’t go back until you have spoken to their counselor and they have completed long-term therapy successfully. Be prepared for the abuse to increase after you leave because the abuser has lost control. The Bureau of Justice Statistics states that on the average, more than three [specifically] women are murdered by their partners every day. If you partner is not willing to seek help for their abusive behavior, your only option is to leave.

Statistics—Approximately one-third of women and one-fifth of men will be victims of abuse.

Same-sex partner abuse is common and may be difficult to identify. Over 35% of heterosexual women, 40% of lesbians, 60% of bisexual women experience domestic violence. For men, the incidence is slightly lower. In addition to common findings of abuse, perpetrators may try to control their partners by threatening to make their sexual preferences public.

Originally written By Stephany Alexander

Edited by Jess for pronoun adjustment, updated facts and statistics, and added details from personal experience.

TBI Is Not The Same As TMI

2022-11-06T11:23:00.004-08:00

So your first question is going to be "What the heck is TBI"?

I'll start by answering that with what the letters stand for: "Traumatic Brain Injury".

And by the time you finish reading this, I hope that you will understand what that means. Specifically that it is not just someone getting hit in the head. Is anything ever really that simple?

Let me interrupt myself here by letting you in on a little secret. I started this post two years ago and then forgot that I was writing it. That right there is one of the things that happen to me frequently and it is because of my TBI.

Yes, many of you may say that you forget things all the time. You walk into a room in your home forgetting why you went in there, you forget your cup of coffee on top of your car, you forget to grab your lunch when you head out the door, you forget where you put your keys.

What is different with me is that I forget all those things but I also forget what a cup is called...yes, I literally forget the word "cup" or any nouns. Makes writing very difficult at times and also makes the thesaurus a necessity in my life! I get what I call "noun negative" more when I am stressed or tired. Don't get me wrong, I can have a conversation and avoid nouns most of the time. When they do come up and I'm not stressed or tired, I'm usually okay(ish) with most nouns. But when I'm noun negative, I have a very difficult time conversing if the topic happens to bring up nouns.

What do I do when I am noun negative? I use adjectives or other nouns to describe the word I am looking for. For instance, if I've misplaced my "coffee cup", I might say "Have you seen my round thing that I put my hot drink in?"

Edit number three:
It is now November of 2022 and I'm adding to this post for the third time because, once again, I forgot I was writing it. Not only did I forget I was writing it; I completely forgot I had a blog. A lot has happened since August of 2018 when I published the short blurb above and I never did get to finish my initial thoughts. At this point I never will because I have no idea what my thoughts were four years ago.

What I do know is that I have been exposed to many more people who also suffer from noun negative thinking and it has been an odd comfort while simultaneously causing me to be sad for others who experience this. I also have discovered through talking to more people who have been through chemotherapy that noun negative is a side effect of chemotherapy and those people can relate to me as well. And now that we are post the beginning of this new COVID era, I and thousands upon thousands of others can also relate as the "COVID brain fog" is extremely similar to both a TBI and "chemo brain".

I am not so alone in my experience anymore. The odd comfort I mentioned above is still there. So is the feeling of helpfulness as I'm able to give tips I've been doing for nearly eighteen years.

Side note, how has it been eighteen years already?
Little things forgotten that become big things such as forgetting to apply deodorant have made me plan ahead. I have deodorant at home, in my backpack and in my desk at work. Same with toothbrushes, dental floss and snacks (because I also forget to eat).

It's highly likely that I have ADHD "inattentive type" and that my TBI made it a lot worse. So I use a lot of tips and tricks that those with ADHD use as well. I write notes, use a calendar, make lists, utilize my phone alarm habitually, and probably at least three other things I'm currently forgetting. I also end up admitting to people regularly and say "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. Can you please repeat that?"

With my COVID brain fog, it felt like I was right after my TBI again. I got lost on a single street forgetting which way to turn and didn't recognize landmarks. I forgot to shower, to eat or drink during the day, to do basic things people simply do not forget to do.

But here we are two plus years post my first (and worst) COVID infection as well as eighteen years post TBI. Some things that affect the brain can't be brought back, but a remarkable number of things can with proper therapies. Cognitive therapy is huge in brain recovery as well as personal therapy to help one cope with the struggles of having a dysfunctional brain. One cannot simply try harder to do something they used to do before a brain injury. A plan has to be set in place to help the brain retrain to use a different part of itself for a task it can no longer accomplish with that part of itself.

I highly recommend cognitive therapy, neurological testing to coincide with cognitive therapy so the therapist knows what brain tasks you're struggling with, and EMDR if that is appropriate for your specific needs.

And thus concludes my third update. Perhaps I shall come back again to add more at a later time.

The Ugly Girl

2015-03-04T19:06:00.000-08:00

She shied away every time someone complimented her appearance. She did not know they were being sincere. Mocking is where she always assumed the comments were originating. She swore she heard muted laughter when she turned away. "You have the jawline and cheekbones of an exotic model!" is what was said. However, what she heard was that she was different, strange and odd. She did not want that captured in a photograph for everyone to critique. She was critiqued enough at home and school by the adults in her life; and from her peers.

Some of her friends would fade away from her life after such conversations took place. She assumed it was because she was ugly and they had concluded that they did not want to be around her. She dressed provocatively as a way to lash back but then she was singled out due to her tiny waist and overly slender frame. She wanted to not care, but the words stabbed at her nonetheless. She was certain the girls in the locker room would stare as she changed for gym class. She would turn away in a corner doing her best to hide in a square room filled with other girls.

She did not have the shapely legs, curved bodies and full breasts that the other girls had. She was jealous of them and then felt guilty for committing the sin of jealousy. When she glimpsed their bodies, she wanted to caress them and then felt guilty for committing the sin of sexual desire for another girl. She was ashamed of her desires, ashamed of her body and ashamed of her lack of coordination, which exacerbated the appearance of her thin legs and arms.

She was ashamed of the signs of abuse on her wrists, arms, thighs, buttocks and back. When they were accidentally exposed to someone, her shame would heighten and she would become reclusive, wear long sleeves in the warmer months, refuse invitations to the pool or lake in the summer and forge her mom's signature on notes so she would not have to change for gym class until the bruises and contusions faded.

She dated boys often but was certain it was because the boys asked her out on dares and lost bets. Why else would they want to be seen with the funny looking "exotic" skinny girl? She had been told all her life at home that she was worthless, unattractive, stupid, filthy and a sinner and if she did not ask for forgiveness, she was going to burn in the fiery depths of Hell for all of eternity. She knew no other way to perceive herself. She allowed the boys to touch her even though she did not want to and more guilt would envelope her. She asked for forgiveness three times a day silently before the consumption of every meal. Three times a week she knelt on the pew at church and tears flowed freely as she begged for freedom from her sins.

For years, she would wake up in the middle of the night to study and then she failed most tests anyway. Her grades were plummeting and there was no one that cared. In the middle of her senior year, she left school to move in with her boyfriend when she was beaten at home for becoming pregnant.

Her life went from one version of barely worth living to another and her first brush with suicide occurred just over a year later. She’d gone into a deep depression. She was no good at being a parent to a child. She loved the child, but thought he would be better off being raised in a world where she did not have an influence on his upbringing. She felt like a failure every day. She was not just ugly, she was wrong in every way possible.

I'm Okay

2015-03-04T13:21:00.001-08:00

The writing is on the wall,
Beneath layers of yellow and white.

My heart is on my sleeve,
Bound in chains alone in the night.

I am fine, I say,
Until I close my eyes.

Monsters in the closet,
Memories be their prize.

When am I,

Past or present?

Future unknown,

I want to forget your scent.

I lie on the grass,

Gazing upon the stars.

Thoughts disturbed

By all of the scars.

Healing is a foreign word

Only known outside of nightmares.

Don't know happiness,

As nothing to compares.

One day I hope,

Don't know what to hope for.

Until then,

Inside lives a war.

Heifer Project Fundraiser Through Amazon

2014-11-18T15:59:00.000-08:00

In August 2015, our son and 30 other people will be headed to the 1,200-acre Heifer Ranch in Perryville, Arkansas to volunteer part of their summer and do all sort of ranch related activities like harvesting vegetables, milking goats and shoveling manure. And yes, they are all really excited about this!

The Heifer Ranch raises animals for Heifer International. You have probably 'liked' a post about it on Facebook at some point because it is an amazing project!

Take a peek at a video they have here about what they do:

No time to watch the video? Well, basically they raise a healthy farm animal (goat, sheep, yak, water buffalo, pig, rabbits and even honey bees) on the ranch in Arkansas and then when YOU give to the Heifer Project through a charity donation, the animal is then given to a family in a destitute location (like Guatemala for instance or maybe even somewhere here in the US).
But not just given without strings attached. When someone is given an animal, they must pay it forward.
One possibility is they may be taught how to make cheese from the milk of a goat to sell or trade or give to someone else in need. And they can breed their goat with their neighbours goat and the offspring can be given to another neighbour and so on until everyone in the community has enough to sustain them and create change for the better.

Here, this says it better than I am able:

If you don't feel like you have any extra cash to donate at this time of year, there is a way you can help raise money to provide the gift to my son of a trip to this farm next year so that he can participate in an amazing learning experience about how fortunate he is and how different the world around him really is. And at the same time, for one week, he will be helping to raise farm animals that will eventually be donated to someone in need.

All you have to do is shop on Amazon.com through this link right HERE! And a percentage* of your purchases will go straight to helping make this trip possible and helping not only my son, but a total of 31 people spend a week in Perryville, Arkansas volunteering part of their summer to help out Heifer International.

And when they get there, here is a one night example of what they may experience for a full five nights!

*I think the donation percentage is 5%, but I'll have to verify that.

If you are able to help out, I can't thank you enough!

~Jess

A Little Here and There

2014-11-17T11:59:00.001-08:00

How did I get myself a new reflective light-up running jacket, buy my wife a nice birthday present and get a new snazzy rug for in front of our kitchen sink all in the last three months without spending a dime?
Swagbucks
You may have heard of Swagbucks in passing or possibly you saw an ad somewhere about making money from home. And that is exactly what it is with many different ways you can earn. I redeem mine for Amazon gift cards but there are many different gift cards to choose from and even charities to donate your earnings.
I almost have enough in my Amazon account again to buy a fire grate for our insert.
Do you love shopping? Swagbucks has a shopping link and you can earn anywhere between 1 and 30 SB (Swagbucks Points) for every dollar you spend on the sites.

Some examples are:
Tracphone, Wholesale Party Supplies, McAfee,
Straight Talk, Fossil, Groupon, Go Daddy,
Travelocity, CafePress, Hotels.com, Amazon,
Sally Beauty Supply, Snapfish, Entertainment,
Crocs, Nordstrom, Starbucks, Lancome,
The Body Shop, Levi's, Puma, Carhartt, PetCo
and so many more that if I keep listing them all, I'll bore you to death!

All you have to do is shop online through the Swagbucks site. And if you have a rewards or cash back card that you use, not only do you still earn your rewards through your bank or credit card company, but you also earn Swagbucks points -- some worth much more than the 5% cash back you can get from your bank!

You can also earn by merely doing an online search. Anything you can think of from Aerie to Zygomatic Process!

There is the "Watch" button to click and catch up on your entertainment news, watch movie trailers, discover new recipes, listen to select musical artists, watch baby snow leopards play, check out some Mashable reviews and more! I use the SB TV app a LOT especially on weekends. I open the app, click play and set my phone on the table letting it earn me SB while I enjoy my weekend.

You can play games like spider solitaire, mahjongg tiles, or pegland for free - earning 2 SB for every other game you play. Wanna hint? If you just want to earn more SB and killing time isn't your cup of tea, let the game run for 15 seconds and then quit then hit replay and do another 15 seconds. This gives you 4 SB for every 60 seconds of play time. :) You are oh, so welcome!

I earn most of my SB through surveys. I typically make anywhere from 50 to 250 SB every day. The least expensive reward is only 5SB. Those are donations to things like The ALS Association, UNICEF and Doctors Without Borders.
For between 25 and 100SB you can help feed a rescued puppy, provide a child with clean water or plant a tree.
At 200SB is where you an get something for yourself and not just your Karma Points. :) That is where you can redeem 200SB for a $10 Restaurant.com gift card. 450SB will get you a $5 Amazon gift card.
500SB will get you a $5 Visa gift card and there are so many gift cards to choose from, I can't list them. The most expensive two are for 50,000SB you can choose a $500 Amazon card or a $500 American Airlines card.

A little here and there will really add up!

Check out Swagbucks.com and see for yourself!

Enjoy making an extra buck or two here and there!

Jess

The new house

2014-10-06T15:57:00.003-07:00

So we bought a house back in the spring. It is now autumn and we have made a pretty big chink in the list of things to do.
At least, I thought we had. Until we came up with the idea to make a list of everything that wasn't done yet.
Not even close to being done with the list and it is three pages long, single spaced.
One day. One day, we'll be done. And then we'll retire, sell the house and move to a new one where we'll have another list.

I'm on a Facebook Diet

2014-09-02T14:06:00.000-07:00

A friend posted on her Facebook page one day last week that she was thinking of taking some time away from the website. I took about three or four weeks away from Facebook last year in August and when I read her post, it made me think it was time to go on another diet.

A Facebook diet. Not to get away from all the people I love and care about. To get away from the stress caused by thinking I need to check the website several. times. a. day. Worrying that I will not see a post if a friend needs something or sharing that funny thing one of my kids (or I) did so I can hopefully make someone smile.

And yes, of course there is also the wanting to see cute animal pictures and videos. Like pygmy goats in argyle sweaters and cats wearing shark outfits while riding tiny round automated vacuum cleaners.
How can one manage to go a whole week without seeing pictures or videos of cute animals!?

So I put a new cover photo and profile image on my Facebook page. I would link to them, but that would require me going to my page and since my diet started yesterday, I can't provide you with that. But I promise it looks very cool! It's three rocks balanced amidst circles of sand and says that I'm taking a break and will return to FB in October.

One month. I can do this! I deleted the app from my cell phone, removed the link from my 'common pages' on Google and bought myself a planner. Yes, a planner. Because I assume that I will now have X amount of time each day to devote to things other than a website.
I'm also going to need stamps. So I can send notes to people -- I have to stay connected somehow!

However there will be one singular day that I will log onto the website, go directly to one person's page, write a brief note and then send him a message. It'll be my son's 22nd birthday and I'm giving myself permission to post on his page and message him. Then, I'll log back out, and call him on the phone.

Already since going on this diet, I've finished one book that was taking me far too long to read and started the next in the series. I've also got more housework done, spent more time with my dog and my wife and am already (on day two) getting used to not having that niggling feeling that I have to check something.

So far, so good. I'm at least two pounds of stress lighter.

Until Next Time
Jess

Transcript of Chat with Comcast Customer Service

2014-07-18T16:02:00.001-07:00

I needed to make an appointment with Comcast so I went on their chat because I didn't have the time to have a lengthy conversation that would take me away from my desk.
This is the chat verbatim with names hidden and sensitive information blacked out.
For reference, the chat was initiated at approximately 1:50 PM.

user CUSTOMER has entered room

analyst Analyst 1 has entered room

Analyst 1: Hello CUSTOMER _, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Analyst 1. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Analyst 1: Hi my name is Analyst 1! I hope you are having a great day! I’m here to help.

CUSTOMER _: My Issue: I would like to schedule an appointment to have a technician come to my house to put in a second X1 box and move my existing X1 box to a different location.

CUSTOMER _: Thank you!

Analyst 1: Hi there Customer! How are you?

CUSTOMER _: Good.

Analyst 1: I do understand you want ot have a technician to install your new X1 box and to move your another X1 box. Don't worry I can schedule you.

CUSTOMER _: Perfect! Thank you.

CUSTOMER _: We also ordered a small box for the other room. It arrived on Wed so we are ready to go.

Analyst 1: Congratulations! For all of your new boxes!

Analyst 1: Thank you for providing your account information on the chat initiation form. For account security, can you please verify the last four digits of your SSN?

CUSTOMER _: XXXX

Analyst 1: Thank you so much! May I know if oyur new X1 is already delivered onnyour house?

CUSTOMER _: I believe it is just the small box. The last person I chatted with said that we could get one but I think the technician was just going to bring it.

Analyst 1: I see, for we can make sure let me check your account first.

CUSTOMER _: Okay, no problem.

Analyst 1: Thank you for your understanding.

Analyst 1: Upon checking you upgarde your cable service

CUSTOMER _: I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean?

Analyst 1: I am sorry to confuse you the last changes that I see on your account is on July 13 ac you cable service had an upgrade.

CUSTOMER _: Oh I see. Okay.

Analyst 1: I would like to inform you that there is a $99.99 charge for the installation.

CUSTOMER _: I was told in a previous chat that there would be no charge.

Analyst 1: Sorry for the wrong message, my bad.

CUSTOMER _: When are appointments available?

Analyst 1: Sorry for the long wait.

Analyst 1: May I know first if you want an X1 HD box or an X1 SD box?

CUSTOMER _: We don't need HD. Thanks

CUSTOMER _: I believe our current one is SD. Are you able to look that up?

CUSTOMER _: We just want the same thing we have now.

Analyst 1: Yes you are correct let me process now your request and check for the available dates.

Analyst 1: Thank you for the information.

CUSTOMER _: You are welcome.

Analyst 1: You are most welcome.

Analyst 1: I would like to correct the information that I first provided earlier.

CUSTOMER _: Okay.

Analyst 1: The installation fee would be $50 (one time charge only) and for the box fee it will be $9.95 a month.

Analyst 1: Shall I complete the order now?

CUSTOMER _: Why is there an installation fee? I was not notified of this before. We only want to have the box that we should have got upon our first install date which was botched up because the technician only had one box with him.

CUSTOMER _: Here is a transcript of a chat from the other day:

CUSTOMER _: Ingrid: But you would still like to add an X1 Standard box? Like the one you previously have? CUSTOMER _: Depends on the price. Ingrid: You can also get an non X1 box. Ingrid: But let me take a look on the price for you. Ingrid: Thank you for waiting. CUSTOMER _: Sure. Ingrid: I have checked that X1 Standard box is also free of charge.

Analyst 1: I am soryr about that you will get a free charge for the first box that you will get and for the second box it will now apply for the $9.95 charge for having an X1 SD box. And there is always an installation charge this is for the technician fee.

CUSTOMER _: We already have one box. As you can see in the transcript above, I was told that the second box would be free of charge.

CUSTOMER _: Are you there?

Analyst 1: Sorry for the delay.

Analyst 1: I am checking on my resources please bare with me.

CUSTOMER _: There have been a few of those during this conversation. Please reply in a more timely manner. 2:15 PM

CUSTOMER _: 2:17 PM -- I really don't have time to prolong this conversation.

Analyst 1: I am sorry for the inconvenience.

CUSTOMER _: 2:17 - thank you

CUSTOMER _: 2:19:45 -- are you there?

Analyst 1: I would like to inform you that the last agent information about the free charge is for the installation fee which it will be $99.99 for the first installation of an X1 box with a free X1 sd box and fr the second box our system indicates a $9.95 fee for another X1 Sd box .

CUSTOMER _: 2:20:37 -- we have already had installation of our first box.

CUSTOMER _: We never received our free second box.

Analyst 1: I do understand however for every box there is a fee for the technician who will installing your box.

CUSTOMER _: Can you transfer me to a different analyst?

Analyst 1: I am sorry for that Customer, if you want I can also process a free SD box for you however for an X1 SD box there is a charge for it.

CUSTOMER _: Can you transfer me to a different analyst?

CUSTOMER _: Hello?

CUSTOMER _: We have now been chatting for well over half an hour. I want to talk to someone else.

Analyst 1: My apologiesfor this I am here for you let me check again on my resources.

CUSTOMER _: No.

Analyst 1: Good news!

CUSTOMER _: Don't check your resources. Transfer me to someone else.

Analyst 1: As I check I see a free X1 SD box for you.

CUSTOMER _: Great. Now please transfer me to someone else.

Analyst 1: I really do apologize about the confusion earlier. It's just that the system is quite slow that is why I was not able to check onthe correct price.

CUSTOMER _: Slow system should not alter pricing.

Analyst 1: I can still help you though.

CUSTOMER _: I want your manager.

Analyst 1: I do understand your point, Customer.

CUSTOMER _: It is now 2:28:10. Transfer me to your manager please.

Analyst 1: Slow system is not showing prices that is why I was able to give you the correct price.

CUSTOMER _: Are you or are you not able to transfer me to your manager?

CUSTOMER _: How many times do I have to ask?

Analyst 1: No need to worry now I can process your request in real time kindly bare with me I am here for you.

CUSTOMER _: Are you or are you not able to transfer me to your manager?

CUSTOMER _: I'm done waiting for you. Give me someone else. NOW!!!

Analyst 1: My apologies, kindly wait for a minute while I am processing the transfer to my Manger.

CUSTOMER _: About time.

CUSTOMER _: 2:33 -- still waiting.

Analyst 1: I would like to inform you I am now creating a tickte so that I can transfer you to our Manager.

CUSTOMER _: 2:34:10 -- thank you

Analyst 1: You are most welcome.

Analyst 1: May I have the best phone number we can call you?

CUSTOMER _: Nope. I don't have time for that.

CUSTOMER _: 2:36

CUSTOMER _: 2:37

CUSTOMER _: 2:38

Analyst 1: I apologize if this is taking more time than usual. Would you mind waiting for a minute or two while I finish it? I would greatly appreciate it.

CUSTOMER _: I've been waiting 40.

CUSTOMER _: I would greatly appreciate more timely customer service.

Analyst 1: I really apologize for the inconvenience.

CUSTOMER _: I appreciate your apology.

Analyst 1: Sorry for the delay I am now just waiting for our Manager to receive the chat.

CUSTOMER _: 2:44:10

CUSTOMER _: 2:46:15

CUSTOMER _: 2:48

Analyst 1: I do aplogies Customer, please wait for a moment while I am now connecting you to our Manager.

CUSTOMER _: Waiting... just keeping track of how long it's taking.

CUSTOMER _: If these chat sessions had time stamps, I wouldn't need to do that.

CUSTOMER _: 2:50:35

CUSTOMER _: 2:52:10

Analyst 1: I do apologize kindly wait for a few minutes while the transfer is being process.

CUSTOMER _: I've been doing that for several minutes.

CUSTOMER _: 2:54:45

CUSTOMER _: 2:56:15

Analyst 1: This is a good opportunity to tell you that I enjoyed assisting you Customer, and is looking forward for your continued patronage. Please stay connected to the chat for our Manager.

Analyst 1: Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst

CUSTOMER _: My Issue: I would like to schedule an appointment to have a technician come to my house to put in a second X1 box and move my existing X1 box to a different location.

user CUSTOMER has entered room

analyst Analyst Manager has entered room

Waiting for response from Analyst 1

analyst Analyst 1 has left room

Analyst Manager: Hi, Customer!

CUSTOMER _: 2:58 - Hello Analyst Manager.

Analyst Manager: How can I help you today, Customer?

CUSTOMER _: I would just like to make an appointment please. There should be no installation charge for this appointment and it is our second X1 box which should also be free of charge.

CUSTOMER _: Can you tell me when appointments are available?

Analyst Manager: Sure no problem. I can process this appointment for you.

CUSTOMER _: 2:59 - that would be wonderful. Much appreciated.

Analyst Manager: Can you give me 3 minutes to pull up your account. May I have your account number please?

CUSTOMER _: 3:01 - Our account number is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Analyst Manager: Thank you so much!

CUSTOMER _: You are very welcome!

Analyst Manager: Pleae allow me to pull up your account now.

CUSTOMER _: 3:01 - Okay.

Analyst Manager: Thanks!

CUSTOMER _: 3:02 -

Analyst Manager: What's goona happen here Customer is that your second box will be free of charge and I will be waiving any installation charges that you will get on the installation of this box. Will this be a good resolution for you?

CUSTOMER _: 3:04 -- that would be absolutely wonderful. Thank you so much!

Analyst Manager: You are most welcome, Customer. I'm just processing the order for you and in a bit I will give you your schedule.

Analyst Manager: Just give me a few minutes here while I process this for you.

Analyst Manager: I appreciate your time and patience.

CUSTOMER _: 3:06 -- okay.

CUSTOMER _: 3:06 - You are most welcome.

Analyst Manager: Thanks for waiting, Customer.

Analyst Manager: I'm trying to process here on my end the free secondary box. I'm getting an error and cannot complete the process. Would it be fine to have a $9.95 charge for this box every month and have no installation charges to pay upon install?.

CUSTOMER _: 3:09 - I was told in a chat with someone named Ingrid earlier this week that we were supposed to get a second X1 box free of charge and that the 3rd box (the small adapter box) would have a monthly charge of $1.99.

Analyst Manager: I apologize if you were misinformed that the box will be free. Only the 1st outlet or cable box is free, Customer. Any additional outlets will have a corresponding charge depending on the box ordered.

Analyst Manager: I can waive the installation charges but the charge for the box, since it is required, cannot be waived.

Analyst Manager: My sincerest apologies, Customer.

CUSTOMER _: 3:11 - We already have the outlet installed. We had an electrician do that for us.

Analyst Manager: I understand that, Customer. The outlet we are referring to is the box itself.

CUSTOMER _: 3:12 - Ah, I see. Okay.

CUSTOMER _: 3:12 -- well if there is no other option, would you be able to give us a credit on our account?

Analyst Manager: May I ask what is the credit for?

Analyst Manager: I can waive the installation charge for the second box install.

CUSTOMER _: 3:14 - Yes, I was told by two different people now that the install charge would not be charged. However, since I was also told that there would not be a charge for the second X1 box, I would like compensation in some manner.

Analyst Manager: I'm sorry, Customer but we can only provide monetary credit or compensation for the services. I understand that you want to be compensated for being misinformed. I have already initiated to waive the install charges for your second box. Will this be fine with you so I can go ahead and process the appointment?

CUSTOMER _: 3:17 - I do find it frustrating to be told one thing and then have something else be actuality. So no, I can't say it's fine with me. But yes, can we please just make the appointment?

Analyst Manager: Great! Will July 27 10 am to 12 pm appointment be alright with you?

CUSTOMER _: 3:19 - Yes, that will be fine.

Analyst Manager: Awesome!

Analyst Manager: I have successfully processed the appointment, Customer.

Analyst Manager: Will there be anything else for today?

CUSTOMER _: 3:19 - Thank you, Analyst Manager.

CUSTOMER _: 3:19 - No, that was all I needed.

Analyst Manager: You are most welcome!

Analyst Manager: Comcast wants to ensure that all customers are satisfied with the services they receive, that is our promise! Our Comcast Customer Guarantee stand behind our products and services and we are available to you 24/7. Learn more about the Comcast Customer Guarantee at click here guarantee. We, at Comcast, listen to our customers and want to hear about your experience chatting with us. If you need assistance in the future, please do not hesitate to contact us through Live Chat (available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Comcast also offers great FAQ and Help forums located at click here to help you solve many issues on your own. You can also reach us through our Hotline ( 1-888-739-1379).

The analyst has left and your issue has been closed.

Forgotten Fun

2013-09-10T13:34:00.003-07:00

There are so many things we did without a second thought as children. Then at some point along the process of growing up, we begin to think they are silly and we stop.

Like building a blanket or cardboard box fort, colouring with crayons, finger-painting, running through sprinklers or jumping on the bed.

I'm no psychologist by any means, so I won't go into the reasons we stop doing these things.

But I will say that I think it odd that we stop. Why not build a fort? Why not roll down a grassy hill laughing the whole time? Why not go get some finger paint and just get messy making art? Because some other stuffy adult will call us strange or silly or childish?

So what? What is so wrong with doing things that used to give us such amazing joy?

I challenge you to go home tonight and build a blanket fort.

Grab some sheets (they actually work better than blankets), get some of those office clamps (or duct tape - duct tape works for EVERYTHING) and attach the sheets to each other over your furniture. Gather all the pillows in the house and make a comfy floor. Attach a camping light inside in the corner somewhere.

No Trespassing Poster

Now you are ready to get your crayons and a colouring book.

And remember, you are having fun so if you don't want to colour inside the lines, then by-all-means, scribble the hell out of that thing! Use all one colour, every colour in the box or outline the whole thing in RED.

Let your imagination and your inner child run wild! (yeah, yeah -- we all have one, so just drop the 'tude)

Put ten pigtails in your hair, (gender doesn't matter) hang a sign outside the fort that says "No Trespassing" and start singing "We're going on a bear hunt" as loud as you can!

Why? Just because. You don't need a reason why!

My brothers had the most amazing fort in their room when we were kids. They shared the loft in our cabin and had sheets and blankets attached to the ceiling so you had to go through a maze to get to each of their areas. It. Was. Epic!

You can also play what I called "Lava" when I was a kid. I used to play it with my little sister, Jennifer when she was around the age of four. She loved it! We had hours of laughter with Lava.

Lava is played by moving all your furniture so you can easily get to it by stepping on it. Yes. You are going to walk on your couch. Just pretend you didn't spend several hundred dollars on it and play Lava. You won't regret it. Grab several pillows and put them on the floor between each piece of furniture.

Now any part of floor is called Lava. Don't step in it, or you "die". Go ahead and put some music on (or just sing "We're going on a bear hunt" again) and run faster and faster until you step in Lava. No, there is no winning this game. You just play until you step in Lava. Or you are out of breath. Or you fall down. Or you laugh too hard to keep running. And if someone rings the doorbell (like say one of those religious people) make them come in and play Lava with you.

And because they are likely one of those people who take life too seriously, they will think you are not just having a ball the way children do. They will think you are crazy.

So maybe. Just maybe. They will never come back again.

You're welcome!

Jess

Talk About Expensive Crap

2013-09-05T16:13:00.001-07:00

I just read that the most expensive coffee in the world is currently something called Black Ivory Coffee and the current approximate price is $50 USD for one cup.
I did a little research because I thought it must be a joke. The joke being that this coffee is produced from elephant dung. WHAT!! and gross!

What I found is that this is actually true. Again: WHAT!! and gross!

They feed elephants coffee beans (raw and still inside the shell) after picking the "best Thai Arabica beans" from an altitude of about 1,500 meters.

Once deposited [last time: WHAT!! and gross!] by the elephants, the individual beans are hand-picked out of the elephant dung by the some people called Mahouts. Then they sun-dry and roast the beans.
The website doesn't say if the elephant poo is removed from the bean before turning it into a cup o' joe or if you are just drinking a very expensive cup of crap infused coffee.

Supposedly the reasoning behind drinking abc (already been chewed) coffee is that elephant stomachs have a great fermenting process that they say reduces the bitterness.

So, if you are interested in having a cup of roasted elephant poo, there are currently only 14 places in the world you can find it.

Napasai by Orient Express (Thailand)
Conrad Koh Samui (Thailand)
The Pavilions Resort (Thailand)
Paresa Resorts (Thailand)
The Peninsula Bangkok (Thailand)
Phulay Bay, A Ritz-Carlton Reserve (Thailand)
Four Seasons Tented Camp Golden Triangle (Thailand)
The Siam Hotel (Thailand)
Grand Hyatt Erawan Bangkok (Thailand)
The Elephant Story (Texas, USA)
Anantara Dhigu Resort and Spa (Maldives)
Anatara Kihavah Villas (Maldives)
Naladhu Maldives (Maldives)
Anatara Golden Triangle (Thailand)

Personally, I think I'll stick with my organic, shade grown and fair trade coffee from Costco.

Have fun, be safe and don't do anything you can't tell your mother about,
Jess

Lullaby and Goodnight

2013-08-21T13:13:00.001-07:00

Every one of my children have been sung to sleep by me. I have a few songs I think I can sing well. All of them are what I consider bedtime songs as they all have that lilt that makes little ones sleepy. And if they didn't have a lilt, I put one in there and created my own version.
I still sometimes sing to my 12 year old son as he is drifting off and I often sing to my 6 year old daughter still. All four of my kids have had different songs they requested except for one. They all have requested a song passed down from my great grandmother. It's a good thing I just happen to love singing it.

I've never found a version exactly like the one I sing to my kids. Creedence Clearwater sings it similar to the way I do with a bit of country twang and Leadbelly ( the original composer ) includes a verse CCR leaves out of their cover. It is called Cotton Fields and this is how I have always sung it to not only my children, but also to my little sisters and kids I babysat both before and after I had my own children.

Cotton Fields

When I was an itty bitty baby

My mama rocked me in my cradle