Introduction

People new to Civil War reenacting often find themselves overwhelmed by all of the work required to do it correctly. I’m here to impart my experiences, tips and tricks drawn from 16 years of periodic participation in such reenactments. I’m starting from scratch with the assumption that the reader has never even attended a reenactment as a spectator just to keep everybody on the same page. If you have questions at the end of each blog in this series, please put them in the comments at the bottom. I’ll either use the questions in a Q&A blog at the end or I’ll use them as we progress.

Why People Reenact

Reenacting any period of history is about experiencing what the people at that time did while educating the public. Individual reasons for doing it vary. Some people do it because they’re naturally theatrical and the possibility of acting on a very large stage appeals to them. A great many do it because they have ancestors who fought in the war and they want to know what their blood went through to be here today. Many do it because they simply love exploring history in a tangible way. There are also quite a few active and retired men from our current armed services who reenact the Civil War in their spare time as well. They seem to find comfort in the natural camaraderie that develops among the other reenactors just as it would in their own military service.

And then there are sub-reasons not so talked about like the reasons that got people into it in the first place. They’re more like side affects of the hobby, such as the paranormal. Most reenactors have had experiences with the spirits of Civil War soldiers and other people of that period. They don’t talk about it right away though. It takes time for them to open up about it from what I have seen. Perhaps they’re afraid of ridicule. The amount of reenactors who have had spiritual experiences is astounding, and the experiences are not just limited to the more liberal types. I’ve heard a lot of stories from big, tough, highly reserved and conservative men. There is also a giant elephant on the battlefield, so to speak, of reincarnation, although they’re much less likely to talk about that openly. I’ve heard enough in private from many reenactors to make me realize that there are a lot of soldiers and civilians still fighting out their past lives by reliving them at reenactments.

How a Reenactment Works

The construction of a reenactment is basically the same whether you’re at a small event or a mainstream event (we’ll go over reenactor language soon). They don’t usually take place on the actual battlefields because they are now national parks that cannot be damaged, although there are some that do. Usually someone nearby with a large piece of empty property will rent out their land for the weekend.

The first morning is about reenactors arriving, setting up their camps, and generally preparing for the onslaught of tourists. Once you’re in camp and the vehicles are removed, the majority of reenactors will remain in period clothing and live the period way for the entire weekend whether tourists are watching or not. That is, after all, the only way to do it if you’re really there to live the Civil War. You should have a period correct tent or borrow one or share one, proper blankets, proper cots if necessary, proper storage items such as carpet bags or wooden crates, etc. Anything modern needs to be disguised inside of something period correct. We’ll go over a supply list later. Sometimes tourists assume our camps are just for show and we don’t actually use them, but we do, and the reenactors who go to hotels at night are in the minority. (I call them the Hotel Brigade.) If you question whether you’re tough enough to camp the period way for the entire weekend, let me impart some encouragement on you: I’m a quadriplegic and I sleep on the ground like everybody else. If I can do it, so can you. At the bigger events, you are usually provided with things like firewood, water and some meals. At the small, hardcore events, you’re on your own because people in the 1860s were on their own.

Tourists start arriving around mid-morning and they wander around the different sutler tents, often set up in what’s called Sutler Row. A sutler is a place that, during the war, soldiers could buy extra food, clothing, supplies, etc. In the reenactment translation, a sutler is where tourists can buy books, movies, souvenirs, and so forth, while reenactors can buy new items for their impression like clothing, jewelry, weaponry, accessories, and so forth. Additionally, there may be activities for tourists to watch, like ladies tea parties (sometimes those are private though), listening to soldiers teach about the war, observing staged surgical procedures in the medical tents, watching companies drill, different lectures sometimes, period music performed by bands, and a number of other scattered activities. It really varies depending on the reenactment. Tourists are always very interested in the camps. If a reenactor has a special skill to demonstrate like sewing or cooking over a fire or anything else, they’ll often stay in camp and demonstrate those things for tourists. If you leave your tent flaps open, expect tourists to look inside (this is why it’s so important to do everything as period correct as possible). They will ask questions about what you’re wearing, what your doing, your belongings, etc., so it’s also very important that you know your history.

The battles usually take place midday or in the afternoon. Most of the morning, the men will be getting organized, checking their weapons, and doing drills, so women and children are usually on their own. It’s important as a woman to develop your own interest and niche in reenacting because you’re going to be awfully bored if you’re doing it just to follow your husband. The battles begin with the soldiers marching from camp to the field while the tourists pile up at the field barricades to watch. Obviously live ammunition is not allowed but the shots are blanks and still make a lot of noise. Depending on the size of the reenactment, there may be a few cannons or a lot of cannons. Small children or people with anxiety disorders or heart problems may not be good candidates to watch reenactments because of the loudness of cannon fire and the action. The women reenactors usually come along from camp and watch the battle with the tourists. They’ll often answer questions and explain what’s going on as well.

After the battle is over (they usually last about an hour or two sometimes), many of the tourists will go home. Some will stay for a while and keep walking around. Usually all of the tourists will be gone by 4 or 5 in the afternoon but definitely all are gone by sundown. That’s when the reenactors relax and spend the evening socializing, having supper together, and there is usually a ball on Saturday night. At the ball, women have a better chance at mingling with men. It usually takes place in a very large open tent with a live band playing period music. There will also be a few experts on hand teaching period dances to people that haven’t attended a ball in the past. Reenactors will wear their formal clothes if they have them and the dancing will go on pretty late into the night. For women, the ball is usually the highlight if the weekend.

The last day, people pack up their things, put on their regular clothes, and say their goodbyes. When the weekend was especially good, sometimes it can be as tough as going home from summer camp! Many of the reenactors already know each other from other reenactments or living histories. The reenacting community is rather like a small town, so if you’re a fairly regular participant, people who don’t actually know you will know you by reputation soon enough. And like a small town, the reenacting community also means people will know your business and vice versa. The gossip aspect of it is very much an undercurrent at these things, but that’s true whenever you put the same people together in an isolated location for repeated weekends. The key is to make friends with everyone as best as you can and avoid participating in the gossip. Build a reputation of honor for yourself. It’ll win more respect at the end of the day than knowing everybody’s business. For the most part, reenactors are good people but there will always be a few bad apples in any hobby, sport, school or workplace. It’s the nature of the beast.

Reenactor Vocabulary

The reenacting lifestyle has its own language. If you participate in even one reenactment, you’re going to hear the language, so it’s important to understand it as quickly as possible. I found a list of common terms for you all. Most of these terms apply to soldiers but it’s important for women to understand them as well because you need to be able to communicate with the soldiers. I took an existing list and added a few more terms that I’ve heard passed around over the years. I also added some terms that apply to ladies.

Artillery – The unit that operated the cannon, mortar and heavy weapons.

Ballgown – Formal evening gown for women made of the best materials a woman can afford for her impression. It’s usually off the shoulders and short sleeved.

Battle Reenactment – Scripted battles are reenactment in the strictest sense; the battles are planned out beforehand so that the companies and regiments make the same actions that were taken in the original battles. They are often fought at or near the original battle ground or at a place very similar to the original. These demonstrations vary widely in size from a few hundred fighters to several thousand, as do the arenas used (getting the right balance can often make or break the spectacle for the public).

Bonnet – A head covering for women made of quilted fabric, straw, felt and a variety of decorative things like flowers, fruit, birds, lace, and they tie under the chin with ribbon.

Brogans – low quarter shoes that are period-appropriate for the Civil War, particularly common with enlisted soldiers.

Bummer – A forage hat.

Camp Dress – Very simple dress usually worn without hoops and made of inexpensive fabric that can easily be replaced. Worn for working around camp by fires and worn for impressions of civilian refugees.

Cavalry – A unit that traveled and fought on horseback. The hallmarks of a cavalry unit were speed and mobility.

Character Reenactors – Some reenactors portray a specific officer or person such as General Robert E. Lee, U. S. Grant, President Jefferson Davis or Abraham Lincoln, or a less well known officer such as Col. Abram Fulkerson. Character reenactors may also portray a civilian man, woman, or child of significance. These reenactors often do not participate in the actual combat portion of the reenactment and serve as narrators to the audience during the battle. Often, character reenactors have extensively researched the person they portray and present a first-person narrative of his story.

Chemise – Undergarment worn by women that resembles a nightgown made of white cotton. It’s short sleeved, shapeless and hangs to about mid-calf, worn under the corset, petticoats and hoops.

Civilian – A person who reenacts a non-military impression during reenactments. Many people create extensive civilian impressions to participate in reenactments.

Colors – The flag. This refers to the unit flag, the state flag, the national flag – any flag on the battlefield. A unit’s colors were not only a form of communication but a banner of great pride during the Civil War, one to be defended to the death.

Combat Demonstration – Combat demonstrations are mock battles put on by reenacting organizations and/or private parties primarily to show the public what combat in the period might have been like. Combat demonstrations are only loosely based on actual battles, if at all, and may simply consist of demonstrations of basic tactics and maneuvering techniques.

Commercial Reenactment – Many castles, museums, and other historical tourist attractions employ actors or professional reenactors as part of the experience. These usually address the recreation of a specific town, village, or activity within a certain time frame. Commercial reenactment shows are usually choreographed and follow a script. Some locations have set up permanent authentic displays. By their nature, these are usually living history presentations, rather than tactical or battle reenactment, although some host larger temporary events.

Corset – Female undergarment made of cotton with stiff supports made of whalebone in history and steel boning in the present. The front closes with hooks and eyes while the back is secured with laces. It’s an important piece to the period correct impression and gives the body the correct 1860s silhouette.

C.S. or C.S.A. – Confederate States or Confederate States Army

Day Dress – More decorated and fancy than the camp dress. Worn when women were socializing in the daytime rather than doing housework or camp work.

Dismounted Cavalry – A hybrid of infantry and cavalry. Dismounted Cavalry traveled by horseback but normally fought on foot.

Drill – The unit practicing maneuvers or marching. Typically a unit will drill prior to a reenactment to learn particular moves that will be used in the battle.

Facing the Elephant – The Civil War soldier’s term for going into battle.

Farby – A reenactor’s term for anything not period-appropriate. Reenactors try to avoid “being farby” – some go to great extremes (see the definition of “threadcounter”). As you develop your impression over time you can replace items that are not period-appropriate in your uniform and camping setup. This may include anything from getting period gear for your tent to picking up authentic wire-frame glasses.

Federal – the Northern Army. Also called Union.

Forage Hat – similar to a kepi but taller on the top so that it falls forward to the bill of the cap.

Hoops or Crinoline – Undergarment designed to support the weight of petticoats and a dress to give the 1860s silhouette a bell shape.

Impression – A fictional persona of someone living during the Civil War that has been created by a reenactor. The reenactor then takes the role of the impression. Impressions can be military or civilian.

Infantry – The foot soldiers who marched into battle.

Kepi – The standard hat you think of as a Civil War hat.

Living History – Another name for reenacting. A living history event might include a static display or presentation at a school or community occasion. Living history events are designed to educate the public on a soldier’s life during the Civil War.

Mainstream – Mainstream reenactors make an effort at appearing authentic, but may come out of character in the absence of an audience. Visible stitches are likely to be sewn in a period-correct manner, but hidden stitches and undergarments may not be period-appropriate. Food consumed before an audience is likely to be generally appropriate to the period, but it may not be seasonally and locally appropriate. Modern items are sometimes used “after hours” or in a hidden fashion. The common attitude is to put on a good show, but that accuracy need only go as far as others can see.

Maximum Effort – An event where all members are strongly urged to attend.

Mourning Dress – Dress typically made of black crepe worn by women in periods immediately following the death of a loved one.

Muster – A gathering, especially of troops, for service, inspection, review or roll call.

National Event – A large event, commemorating an actual battle, normally attended by units nation wide.

Period-Appropriate – If something (clothing, weapons, camping gear, etc.) is in the same form, style and manufacture as it was during the war, it is said to be period-appropriate. Also known as period correct.

Petticoat – Undergarment for women worn like a skirt but it’s made of white cotton. It provides warmth and adds volume to the 1860s bell shaped silhouette. Worn in multiple layers.

Progressive or Hardcore – Sometimes derisively called “stitch counters”, “authenticity nazis” or even “stitch nazis”, many people have misconceptions about hardcore reenactors. Hardcore reenactors generally value thorough research, and sometimes deride mainstream reenactors for perpetuating inaccurate “reenactorisms”. They generally seek an “immersive” reenacting experience, trying to live, as much as possible, as someone of the period might have. This includes eating seasonally and regionally appropriate food, sewing inside seams and undergarments in a period-appropriate manner, and staying in character throughout an event. The desire for an immersive experience often leads hardcore reenactors to smaller events, or to setting up separate camps at larger events.

Reenactor – A person who recreates the War Between the States or Civil War as a soldier.

Tactical Combat – Tactical battles are generally not open to the public. Tactical battles are fought like real battles with both sides coming up with strategies and tactics to beat their opponents. With no script, a basic set of agreed-upon rules (physical boundaries, time limit, victory conditions, etc.), and on-site judges, tactical battles can be considered a form of live action role-playing game, but, in the cases where firearms are used, with real weapons firing blank ammunition (depending on gun control ordinances).

Threadcounter – A reenactor who insists on a historically accurate impression, right down to having a uniform made of the correct fabric, with buttonholes having the same threadcount as those uniforms worn in the 1860s. The opposite of a threadcounter would be “farby” (definition above). Also known as Stitch Nazi, Progressive or Hardcore.

Sack Coat – the standard coat for Civil War soldiers. A simple style of coat that was easy to produce in large quantities.

Shell Jacket – Cut shorter than a sack coat, the shell jacket extends down to the waist. It can be worn buttoned up, completely open or buttoned only at the top.

Slouch Hat – Similar to what many refer to as a cowboy hat, the slouch hat was worn by officers and enlisted alike. Particularly for Union soldiers, the slouch hat would have a colored braid to indicate the type of unit that soldier was with – yellow braid meant cavalry, blue braid meant infantry and red braid meant artillery. This helped commanders identify their troops from long distances.

Sutlers – Merchants who followed troops during the Civil War. Today, modern Sutlers set up tents at reenactments to sell a wide variety of uniform items, clothing, tools, equipment, souvenirs and other Civil War-related items.

Union – the Northern army. Also called Federal.

I usually don’t read novels that “everybody is talking about” because I’ve been disappointed in the past by flash in the pan authors. However, virtually everyone I know has been reading the Fifty Shades trilogy by E. L. James, and they have been asking for my opinion on it. So I bought Fifty Shades of Grey and here I am with a review.

The premise of the first novel in the trilogy is an interesting one for its genre. A billionaire entrepreneur, Christian Grey, pursues an unusual relationship with a naive recent college graduate, Anastasia Steele, and he introduces her to the dark world of dominant and submissive sex. The media has termed the Fifty Shades trilogy as mommy porn and the trilogy is apparently credited with rejuvenating the erotic spark in relationships everywhere. A trilogy of novels getting so much attention and selling at such a ridiculous rate did intrigue me, which is why I agreed to review it, even though I don’t typically read the erotica genre. I have tested the erotica genre before though, and found the novels to be so poorly written that I found no entertainment value in them whatsoever. Since this trilogy blew up with such stunning sales and everybody has been talking about it, I expected E. L. James to be the Jane Austen of the erotica world.

I found the first novel in the trilogy mostly dull and repetitive mixed with a few bright spots of promise for growth in future E. L. James novels. Fifty Shades of Grey was the first novel I’ve read that was completely written in first person, present tense narrative voice (the vast majority of novels are written in past tense). I believe this was the author’s attempt at keeping the reader in the moment, wrapped up within the story as a participant, rather than watching it unfold from the outside. Instead, it came off as watching people repeatedly engage in cybersex. I never fully adjusted to the first person, present tense narrative voice and found it distracting because my brain kept trying to translate it into more traditional past tense narrative voice.

Anastasia Steele being the main character meant I never got a chance to escape her thoughts. She’s supposed to be freshly graduated from college but her naivete, attitude, speech and experience with life don’t match her age. Her dialogue reads awkwardly and often ends up sounding stuffy and middle-aged, while her internal monologues often revert to sounding like a 14-year-old girl. I never saw her interests, philosophies, or a spine that doesn’t come out of her mouth sounding like a brat throwing a tantrum. There were times that I wanted to smack Ana and yell at her to grow up more than once, which doesn’t bode well when readers need to like at least one character in a novel to stay interested in the story. I didn’t find Ana to be believable for her age, although it appears her virginal innocence was the author’s way of explaining the dominate and submissive world to the reader. We were introduced to it through her eyes. I understand it in terms of a literature tool, but as a reader, I found the character underdeveloped and dull.

One thing that bothered me quite a bit about this novel is how women everywhere seem to fantasize about Christian Grey. At first blush, the money and grand gestures to win over Ana appear beautiful and romantic, but I found his character to be entirely too psychologically damaged. Perhaps I’m entirely too wary about men after going through an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive relationship but I found myself thinking Christian needed intensive psychological care, not a Red Room of Pain. Ana spent the entire novel trying to fix him and I never saw any other aspect of her life besides her quest to get him to change himself and to really love her. It’s worrisome to me that women reading these novels don’t seem to see the utter dysfunction of this relationship. As much as it concerns me that women are fantasizing about such a psychologically damaged man, it does, ironically, make him the most well-developed and realistic character in the novel aside from the masochistic sexual lifestyle. I believe him as a flesh and blood person, whereas I was always aware that Ana was a character in a novel.

E. L. James’ writing style is best described as fan fiction with a lucky publishing deal. I have heard it reported in the media that Fifty Shades began as Twilight fan fiction, which does explain a lot about the content. Granted, it’s definitely not the worst piece of writing I’ve ever encountered but I repeatedly found myself wondering why the publisher didn’t ask for edits before they put their name on the trilogy. For example, the author relied on repeating several phrases to the point of annoyance and distracting me from the story. Ghost of a smile, hitched breath, there and oh crap to name a few rather overused phrases. Fiction writers are generally encouraged to avoid repetitive phrasing because readers get bored when they aren’t being surprised. The sex scenes in this novel read to me as repetitive as well, with mechanical writing, awkward sentence structure and not enough emotional or physical description. Novels like these are intended to arouse and awaken personal sexual fantasies but I was very disappointed in that regard because I was not inspired like I had hoped. I was too distracted by the lack of quality in the writing and how Ana’s low self-esteem opened herself to a potential emotionally abusive relationship. There is a distinct difference between engaging in a consensual dom/sub lifestyle and engaging in it with a psychologically damaged man who admittedly needs to inflict pain on women to make his terrible upbringing feel better.

Christian’s mysterious upbringing that makes him need to inflict pain on women, by the way, is never fully explained by the end of the first novel. Despite it being a trilogy, I never really felt like it was a complete novel. I suspect much of it could have been edited and restructured to combine all three novels into a much tighter, better evolved single novel rather than reading a lot of unnecessary scenes to get to the meat of the story. I was never surprised by any plot twists. I found the story structure to be rather predictable, which is probably why it took so long to read it. I was bored, quite honestly. A reader should not be able to predict each move the main character is going to make, yet that’s exactly what happened as I read it. The mark of a lasting novel is the wow factor. I don’t feel a wow factor with Fifty Shades of Grey.

However, the good points about this trilogy are the discussions women are having because of it. Harry Potter got kids interested in reading again. I see Fifty Shades having the same affect on otherwise busy, uninterested women and their exposure to books. I’ve seen a lot of women beginning to look into other books now that their literacy appetites have been whetted. That is a good thing. Whatever it takes to get more people interested in books is fine by me. I just wish Fifty Shades of Grey lived up to the hype.

Her name was Sarah Gardner, the pretty, forlorn lady on the left. At the age of 26, she was admitted to Bethlehem Hospital in England during the 1850s because she felt worthless and wanted to kill herself. Bethlehem was an asylum. She had been jilted by her fiance and became a servant in London, but the social stigma and gossip of being single and working for a man was too much for her to bear. Upon being admitted to Bethlehem, Miss Gardner felt ashamed of her suicidal feelings, and remained a patient for a few months before being released as cured. Her diagnosis was “insanity caused by anxiety” and that was the way of it for most women in her situation – insanity caused by hysteria, insanity caused by childbirth (postpartum depression), insanity caused by epilepsy, insanity caused by moral insanity (infidelity), and so forth.

Miss Gardner’s diagnoses and confinement to an asylum hit a little too close to home for me. I have an anxiety disorder brought on by PTSD. Such being the case in the 1850s, I could have just as easily ended up in an asylum instead of working through it on an outpatient basis.

Mental health has come a long way from the 1850s but it still has a long way to go. This photograph of Miss Gardner was taken because it was believed that a photograph could show the mental illness in the person. In her day, women who were not happy and pliant were put away in asylums. Today, women who are not happy and pliant are automatically medicated within an inch of their lives. I ought to know. I’ve been on so many different SSRI drugs periodically as my anxiety disorder ebbs and flows, and I was almost killed by one of them too (I’m looking at you, Zoloft). SSRI drugs feel to me like moving from one asylum to another.

Have we really come that far or is this just the current socially acceptable way to treat people with very real troubles?

(Article from the Daily Mail that inspired this blog: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/you/article-2141741/Sent-asylum-The-Victorian-women-locked-suffering-stress-post-natal-depression-anxiety.html)

Seriously. This is big news in my world.

Today I was revisiting my teenage years by watching My So-Called Life on the Sundance Channel when I noticed a certain commercial repeating every break. There is apparently a new show coming out in June called Push Girls. It’s a reality series that follows the lives of four paraplegic women in Los Angeles. They’re fierce, tough, stylish, independent and they certainly don’t let their paraplegia define who they are at all. Instead, they’re living their lives like other women and they manage to thrive in a very image obsessed city.

It’s getting great reviews in the media from what I have seen, not that I would need good press to encourage me to watch this show. I’m thrilled that there is a show coming out that finally portrays disabled women in a realistic and positive light rather than focusing on the tragic circumstances that brought them to such a condition. People often see me traveling, going places, having adventures, white water rafting, camping, paranormal investigating, etc., and they can’t believe I do those things. I don’t particularly think those things are strange until people point it out to me. You know, I must be so extraordinarily brave for facing the world when the world can still be rather cruel to people like me. The way I see it, I have two choices: I can either hide at home and let life live me, or I can get out and live my life. That’s how I see these women. And it gives me hope to see that there are other tough women just like me out there. My disability is more severe than paraplegia but that’s just semantics. These women are stunning. If I as a quadriplegic can be half as fierce, fascinating and stunning as they are, then maybe I’m going to be okay after all.

Push Girls premieres on the Sundance Channel on June 4 at 10 p.m. EST. All of you ought to watch it. There is a lot you can learn from these women. Watch the preview of this new series below.

I’m back with a second preview of my upcoming novel, From the Darkness Risen: Book II. If you missed yesterday’s blog, read it here, because I explained why publication has been delayed. I also suggest reading the synopsis of the novel and reading the first novel excerpt before you read this excerpt because it will all make much more sense. You can find those particular blogs by clicking on the links.

To set the scene of this excerpt, Eva planted a bomb on a steamer carrying Union munitions and supplies four days before this scene. The bomb planting was depicted in the first excerpt, so go read it for clarification. She hid for four days while the authorities searched for the culprits but she finally got bored enough to risk going out for a little while. Lafayette Park was a new park on the outskirts of St. Louis at the time of this novel and the picture to the left is the lake in the park as it looks today. Whenever possible, I try to use real locations in my novels. Very rarely am I compelled to fictionalize a location, although minor details of locations may require dramatic license. This particular excerpt has not been fully edited yet. I still have some fact checking to do about Benton Barracks, which isn’t as easy as Jefferson Barracks because Benton Barracks doesn’t actually exist anymore. Robert Louden, if you’re new to my St. Louis books, was a real Confederate agent, mail smuggler and boat burner. Not a lot is known about him, so I’m filling in the gaps by making educated guesses about what I do know.

Anyway, here is the excerpt.

By the morning of the fourth day after the explosion, she couldn’t tolerate being isolated at home anymore.

Snow melted across the city as the temperature finally climbed above freezing, much to Eva’s delight.  Of course the deep snow drifts would take time to dissolve but the water flowing through city drains heralded the first blush of spring to arrive in the following month.  Eva strolled through the city in her favorite green dress with a fur trimmed coat pulled from her trunk of South Carolina things.  Occasionally she wore something from her old life to lift her spirits and temper the sting of homesickness.  Besides, looking better than a street peasant meant she was less likely to be recognized as Elizabeth Brown by the soldiers in the city.

She stopped in a bakery near Lafayette Park and treated herself to a lemon pastry.  At first she kept her face downcast should anyone recognize her but the further she tested her outing, the more she realized she actually got away with blowing up the Martha.  Nobody would logically believe a lady debilitated by an obvious limp could do such a thing.  Luckily they didn’t know her fighting spirit.

“Five cents, please,” the bakery clerk said through a bushy beard.

“Five cents, really?  For one little pastry?”  Such high prices stunned her.  She handed the old man her coins.

“Nothing’s cheap with the war on anymore,” he replied.

“That’s true.  Thank you.”

“Good day, ma’am.”

“Good day.”

Regardless of the chilly air, she crossed the street to the entrance of Lafayette Park.  A few brave people enjoyed afternoon strolls and drove horse drawn sleds through the last of the winter wonderland.  She inhaled the sharpness of cold air and lazily ambled along the path toward the lake and the fountain.  Such a happy place where she first laid eyes on Thaddeus the previous spring then resembled the surface of a freezing mirror in the middle of a gentle valley.  She enjoyed the tart taste of the lemon pastry on her tongue as she walked around the lake.  Once winter died and spring reemerged, the fountain would stand in the middle of a beautiful bluish-green body of water with ducks and dozens of flowers scattered around it.

She avoided the spot on the other side of the lake beyond the bridge where she used to meet Benjamin Geary.  A clammy chill passed through her skin at the memory of that man touching her and kissing her.  The greatest blessing of the last month was certainly not seeing him again after Senator Godfrey’s reception.  That didn’t mean he wasn’t around somewhere out there watching her every move like a vulture waiting for the right moment to sweep in and make his kill.  No mistake in her life ever brought her as much regret as the day she met him.

Eva dipped her finger into the lemon center of her pastry and tasted the filling with a contented sigh.  Benjamin wasn’t anywhere to be found, her leg felt stronger and she hadn’t been connected to the explosion.  For the moment, she relished in a sense of accomplishment and peace.  After her stroll through the park, she made plans to go home and cook supper.  Beef filets and beans, she thought.  Beef was a new venture in her cooking efforts but nobody learned anything without effort.

Quicker footsteps approached from behind, interrupting her supper plans, and abruptly fell in time with hers.  She glanced over her shoulder only to find the shocking figure of Robert Louden three paces behind and two to the right.

“Don’t look at me.  Keep walking,” he directed in a monotone voice.

Obeying, her spine stiffened and she clutched the remainder of her pastry.

“You’re a difficult woman to find.”

“I stayed home and waited out the city’s shock.”  Her voice suddenly sounded as monotone as his in her apprehension.

“Good thinking.  They have your description anyway.”

She spun and stared agape.  The man had her followed more than she expected.  A flush of anger filled her but she kept her reaction in check.  He had the power to end her career as a Confederate agent.

“Don’t look at me.  Keep walking.”  His eyes flickered over her in a stern warning as he strolled with his hands clasped behind his back.

Eva rolled her shoulders in a vain struggle to appear cool and collected.  She strolled along and did her best to stay ahead of him.  She broke off a tiny bite of her lemon pastry to occupy her hands.

“The news isn’t reporting much about it what with the conscription bill being passed in Congress and West Virginia finally agreeing on a state constitution, but the job was done and it was done well.  You got in quickly, you kept your wits about you, and you managed to talk your way out of being arrested.  I doubt any of us could have done better.”  Louden’s praises sounded forced and reluctant as if he completely loathed admitting she did well for his merry little band of Confederate misfits.  “Moreover, you had the sense to lay low until the investigation lost steam.  There aren’t enough Yankee resources to really find the culprits, I think.”

“I appreciate your confidence,” she said without addressing him by his name, as he had not addressed her by hers.

“The only hitch in things was your questioning by the provost marshals, which, of course, amounted to nothing more than your description circulating the army should you be seen doing anything of a questionable nature.  That can be avoided easily enough.  I’ve got a new task for you.  Are you ready to go again?”

Without hesitation, Eva nodded.  Exhilaration already found her.

“Good,” Louden said as they rounded the lake for the second time.  “I need a lady to go to Benton Barracks and collect mail from our prisoners there.  Officially there are no Confederate prisoners but the intelligence you overheard from the senator has proven true.  The Yankees don’t want it known that they’ve captured guerrillas lest the knowledge provoke further raids by other guerrillas.  Nothing scares Yankees more than rouge guerrillas combing the wilderness waiting for a chance to wreak havoc.”  A brief inflection of amusement colored his words.  “What do you know of Benton Barracks?”

“It lies four or five miles north of the city and used to be the old fairgrounds.  Now it’s rented to the army by Mr. John O’Fallon.”  She rattled off the facts from her studying of the Federal army’s occupation of Missouri.  “There’s room for about thirty thousand soldiers.  The site is about a mile long and houses barracks, kitchen sheds, warehouses, cavalry stables, parade grounds, and a hospital that holds about three thousand patients.  Additionally, Camp Benton opened nearby about eighteen months ago.  It has a troop cantonment, a parole encampment, a hospital, and a camp for contraband slaves.  There are rumors that refugee Unionists have also found sanctuary there.  Saloons, restaurants and photograph galleries have opened around the camp as well.”

“Very good.”  Louden sounded genuinely impressed.

“Where are the guerrillas being held?”

“The guard house.  It’s up to you to find a way inside.  Bring them paper and pencils and tell them to write to their families quickly.  Collect the letters and bring them to me.”

The assignment sounded odd to her.  “Why?  I mean, how does this help the war effort?”

“It doesn’t directly but we’ll soon be taking another mail shipment to Memphis.  Those men are scheduled for execution.  It’s the very least we can do to give their families some comfort in their final days.  Many of their families may not even be aware they’ve been captured.  That’s why you’ve got to act quickly.  We don’t know when they’ll be sent away for execution.”

“I understand.”  She nodded soberly.  Louden’s apparent act of compassion came as a surprise but she was grateful for the chance to be entrusted with a mission of mercy.  A thought occurred to her.  “You say you smuggle mail through the lines?  Does that include South Carolina?”

Louden snatched her elbow and spun her to face him.  “You just worry about getting the letters from the condemned men and then we’ll see if you’re worth the contact with your family.”

“You don’t need to worry about that,” she replied in a low tone.  “I’ll get what you ask of me.  The question presses upon my mind of what you’ll do for me in return.  I’ll give you two choices – you either pay me for my time away from my husband and risk to my life, or you include me in your mail smuggling operations so I might exchange mail with my family.  You’ll have until I return with the letters to make your decision.”

Eva shook herself free of Louden’s grip and strode away.  She didn’t know where the sudden burst of confidence came from but it reminded her of the old days.  The temptation of hearing from her family and Isabelle’s family after months of silence proved more than she could bear.  It didn’t diminish her desire to help the poor Southern patriots appointed to die but if she could arrange some benefit for herself, she certainly intended to do so.  As she marched to the gated entrance of the park, she popped the remainder of the lemon pastry in her mouth and imagined the rotten Mr. Louden standing there slack jawed at her audacity.

“What makes you think you’re in any position to bargain?” he growled after her.

She was right.  A smile flashed on her lips but she wiped it clean as she turned and eyed him over her shoulder.  She paused for effect, giving no indication of her thoughts.  A moment passed and then she retraced her steps directly to the man.  It required a stiff spine and cemented eye contact to assert herself as a prevailing strength in the Confederate secret underground.

“Do you have another woman who hasn’t been arrested and identified by the army beyond a vague physical description?  Another woman who can pass through the barracks without causin’ a stir?  Another woman who can, say, act as a nurse persuasively enough to get inside, possibly anywhere she chooses, because she’s had earlier nursin’ experience in large medical facilities?”

Louden tilted his head like a confused puppy for the slightest second and righted himself nearly in the same instant.  He glared but offered no argument.

“I didn’t think so.”  Quite satisfied with herself, Eva smiled and smoothed out the man’s lapels just for the added offense.  “My father’s a doctor.  I know my way around a sick or wounded man.  All I have to do is find a nurse’s uniform to blend in, if they even wear uniforms, and I can get in with no difficulty.  See, darlin’, you need my expertise more than you presume.  It’d serve you well to do me a few kindnesses before I find another agent to work for.”

Resentment filled Louden’s eyes and his jaw tightened.

“Oh….”  Eva formed a dramatic frown and upturned her eyes the way she used to flirt with boys back home.  “You didn’t think you were the only Confederate agent leadin’ operations in St. Louis, did you?”

Many of you are eagerly awaiting the release of my new novel, the second book in what has become the From the Darkness Risen trilogy. I had been perfectly on schedule to release the novel somewhere in mid-April until I took a weekend off to go to San Francisco on a field trip with the Paranormal Research Society. The trip was a much needed getaway for me to clear my head, be with friends, and possibly get some fresh creative inspiration. I got all of those things but I also came home with an awful bug that was probably a severe cold. For two weeks after the trip, I spiked 102 fevers and nearly made the decision to visit the emergency room a couple of times. That wasn’t a good recipe for finishing a book, to say the least.

Since I was two weeks behind on the editing and rewriting process due to being so sick, I have obviously not published the book yet. I’m still going through the last stages. I also have another job, so I can’t work as often as I would prefer, but I am pulling quite a few all nighters. It’s extremely important to me to grow and improve as a writer, so I’m not satisfied with “as good as the first novel.” My goal is for readers to feel like it’s better than the first novel and to feel like they didn’t waste any money on it. I would rather take extra time to publish better quality material than publish less than my best to meet a deadline.

It looks like Book II will be out mid-May. I’m going to put it on Kindle first and then paperback, Nook, iBookstore, etc., will come in progression after that. Remember that I am an independent author, which means I do all of the work on my own. I wrote it, edited it (I do have other people helping with editing), designed the cover, formatted the manuscript, and will publish it. That means I have the luxury of delaying publication if necessary, such as in this case.

Tomorrow I will post a new excerpt of the novel for you all.

It’s one thing to come out about a past life case to the public and face judgment from strangers. That’s relatively easy if you’re secure in it. But it’s quite another matter when someone respected in that historical field and someone you hold in high esteem becomes aware of your case.

Cue the awkward, nervous laughter.

Cue the nail biting and the internal question of whether you’re being perceived as crazy.

I’ve been having those periodic moments of needing to hide again the way I did when my fear of being discovered was at phobic proportions. At least one Chamberlain scholar knows who I am. A few Chamberlain relatives know who I am. Some other scattered people of interest know who I am too. As interested as I am to enter into dialogue with these people (I have a little bit), I’m having trouble shaking that insecure feeling of, “What do these people really make of me?” But then I chastise myself because I’m quite secure in knowing who I am now and who I was before, yet there is an underlying fear of influential people whispering about me or thinking I’m off my rocker. There isn’t anything they can wonder about me that I haven’t wondered about myself though. As I’ve said before, I was well aware of what people thought of me back then and I’m well aware of what people think of me now. I will never fit in with the status quo and I have accepted that.

The new Chamberlain book coming out seems to be dredging up old insecurities. Historians have not always been kind to Fanny’s memory. It may be translating for me as the fear of historians possibly treating me disrespectfully when they find out why I do research in this area. I don’t come out and say it right away. When people at Bowdoin and various historical societies asked me why I was requesting research material, I lied and said I was researching for a book. It’s just safer that way. You never know who might take the words “past life” badly and treat you like a mental patient. I assure you, I am no mental patient. I’ve been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder but nothing else that would attribute to this issue of past life memories from childhood.

The truth is I don’t need approval from anyone, not even the top Chamberlain scholars. Past lives cannot be proven beyond a shadow of a doubt. People must look over all of the evidence and decide for themselves. Whether the scholars ever accept me or not isn’t going to chance the truth. I know myself. I know what I’ve been through. I continue to seek the truth and my perception of the past evolves as I get older. Of course, it would be nice to not dance around the elephant in the room when I talk to scholars and simply have frank discussions about it, but the mind of a scholar doesn’t typically work on a spiritual level like this too. It would be nice to have a scholar or two on my side. Do I see that happening? No. Is it totally necessary? No.

Some things are simply true whether you believe them or not.

In some ways, after all these years, I still feel very isolated in my experiences. Telling my story has helped a lot of people – I know this because I’ve gotten hundreds of letters over the years – but I still feel like I haven’t finished what I’m supposed to do. Working closely with historians would do a lot to further the openness about past life research but I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Like scientists, historians are trained to only believe what they can see and prove by documented fact. There is no document Fanny Chamberlain left behind that says, “My name will be Jessica beginning in 1982,” so no trained historian will be willing to believe it. It doesn’t diminish my desire to be recognized. I don’t like that because I constantly tell people they don’t need approval in who they are whether in the present or the past. I’m weary of the elephant in the room though. I am who I am and I was who I was. Belief or disbelief doesn’t alter the case.

I suspect there is a second edition of Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated in my future. I’m not happy with the book as it exists now and I feel like I’ve learned a lot more spiritually since I began that initial journey. I have learned a lot more historically as well. There are a couple of historical errors that need to be corrected in addition to a bunch of new material. I’m toying with the idea of a very expanded second edition but I’m not sure yet. It depends on if people even want such a thing. My primary goal is to help people who have no guidance in going through past life memories. Writing it all out is cathartic for me as well.

Historians who pass by and see who I am may stop and think about it or they might just say she’s crazy and keep on their merry way. I don’t know if there is anything I can do to quell the insecurity in myself when I talk to them but I can remind myself that their belief or disbelief doesn’t change the truth. Just as with any other person, they don’t have to believe as long as they treat me respectfully. I work hard to document things, not just with the Chamberlain family, and I hope they at least recognize those efforts.

Still, it would be nice if a Chamberlain scholar was at least open to the idea of who I was in a past life. Hope springs eternal, right? Don’t be afraid of who you are now. Don’t be afraid of who you were in the past. There are reasons for everything and there are life lessons in everything.

Last night I was poking around Ancestry.com like I do when I have a little bit of spare time. I have been very slowly going through Fanny Chamberlain’s ancestry to make sure we have no blood ties even though I don’t see any blood ties from my own lineage. It’s important, in my opinion, to look for blood ties in a possible reincarnation case because it can be argued that parallels and similarities can be brought on by genetics. Some even theorize that DNA can pass down “memories” to future generations, which might be a possible explanation for spontaneous past life memories (I personally haven’t seen any truth in it). There are a great many reincarnation cases within the same bloodlines, especially in the Eastern world. However, when someone asks me if I’m blood related to Fanny, I want to be able to answer the question confidently, which is why I carefully go over her ancestry just in case there is a relation somewhere. So far there is no relation at all, although my ancestors knew the Adams and Chamberlain families on a social level.

Census records

In my poking around last night, I came across several census records (1850-1880). The 1860 census has a discrepancy that I’m trying to solve but it may be as simple as the census worker getting the information wrong. The Chamberlain household in 1860 was made up of Lawrence, Fanny, Grace, Wyllys and Mary, according to the census. Mary? What? It showed Grace as 3-years-old, Wyllys as 1-year-old and Mary as 1-month-old. Once I saw the age and connected that it was 1860, I realized “Mary” was actually Emily. She was the fourth child born to the Chamberlains (a premature boy had died between Grace and Wyllys) and she came along in May of 1860, but died that September of scarlet fever. I don’t know why the census has her name listed as Mary when her name was Emily Stelle. Unfortunately when discrepancies like that happen, Ancestry.com users have a habit of not double and triple checking their research, so this “Mary” has become a fictional Chamberlain child. If you are one of those people and you stumble onto this blog, there was no extra child named Mary – she was Emily.

And then on top of that, I finally got the names of the servants the Chamberlains employed after the war and I can investigate those people a little bit. The 1870 census shows the Chamberlain family living in the house but it also shows another family living with them, the parents being employed as servants, and another single woman being employed as a servant too. They were listed as Andrew Lozier (32), Elizabeth Lozier (24), Andrew J Lozier (4), and Caroline Pennell (24). By 1880, the Lozier family was no longer employed by the Chamberlains but Miss Pennell was still living there and employed as a “private secretary”. To be 29 and unmarried in 1880 means she was socially considered a spinster. This woman could be one of the people in my memory that I haven’t identified yet, so I would like to learn more about her.

Passport application

The really interesting stuff for me was stumbling onto the passport application from Fanny made in June of 1878. She applied for a passport because Lawrence was appointed by the President to represent American educational interests as a commissioner at the World’s Exposition in Paris. He wanted to take Fanny, Grace and Wyllys with him, which is the reason for this passport application. I grabbed an image of it off Ancestry.com so you can look at it if you’re interested.

Here is the image of the application on the right. You can click on it to see a larger version. At first, I thought someone else filled out the application because the handwriting looked so rushed but I compared it to my own piece of Fanny’s writing and it matches. She/I must have really been rushing through this application because of the mistakes and sloppiness. The next thing that stuck out to me was that this application was from the state of Massachusetts but somebody crossed out everything Massachusetts and put in Maine information. Why was the application obtained in Boston if they were going to cross out everything and make it Maine?

The top portion of her application reads, “I, Frances C. Chamberlain, do solemnly swear that I was born in the City of Boston, on or about the 13th day of Aug., 1828, that I am a native & loyal citizen of the United States, and about to travel abroad accompanied by my children Grace Dupee aged 21 years, & Harold Wyllys aged 19 years; and I desire a passport for the said party.” Apparently being 19 was still considered a minor child in the 1870s because Wyllys is referred to later in the document as a “minor son”.

Another oddity is Fanny’s birthday is written wrong. Fanny was born on August 12, 1825, yet the application says August 13, 1828, I think. It looks like the last number in the year was written over. My only explanation is that birthdays were not very important in the 19th century to the point of some people not even knowing what day they were born. It’s possible that Fanny just remembered it wrong. It looks like 1828, which was Lawrence’s birth year, so there may have been some discussion while the form was filled out and it wasn’t written in correctly. This is actually very common in other 19th century documents I’ve seen, which can make doing genealogy rather difficult.

Fanny’s physical description is filled out like this:

Age: 50 years
Stature: 5 feet, 2 3/4 inches, Eng.
Forehead: high
Eyes: brown
Nose: medium
Mouth: small
Chin: small
Hair: Brown, slightly grey
Complexion: Brunette
Face: oval.

There is a significant nugget of information in the physical description. We knew a long time ago that Lawrence was 5 feet 10 inches but I never saw any confirmation of Fanny’s height before now. In my recollection, I always felt like I was about 5 feet 3 inches or 4 inches, which is very, very close to the documented height we see here. I have told multiple people my estimation on Fanny’s/my height over the years just in case I ever saw something that described her physical appearance. This goes back to what I talked about in my book, Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated, how I wrote down facts from my perspective that could be confirmed or not through historical documentation. This is a method of proving knowledge of things you shouldn’t know unless you were there. Fanny’s approximate height was on my old list and now I have some documentation to back up the way I experience memories in that body. I’m 5 feet tall on the dot in this body and I always felt bigger in my recollections of Fanny, so I estimated 5 feet 3 inches or 4 inches, making it interestingly close to what we see here. Five feet 2 3/4 inches might as well be 3 inches. Being that close to accurate without ever seeing an image of Fanny aside from the waist up is a bit impressive to me. I can check that one off my list.

A final note of vanity. Fanny/I turned 53 in 1878, not 50 like the document says. Only “slightly grey” at 53? Awesome!

UPDATE

I got a comment from Tom Desjardin on this blog that I needed to share with you all. To see who Tom is, read this blog. He said:

Hi Jessica -

A couple of notes for you. The “Lozier’s” are Andrew Tozier, his wife Libby and son Andrew, Jr. Andrew was the color sergeant of the 20th Maine at Gettysburg and was awarded a Medal of Honor for his service there because of Chamberlain’s recommendation. Andrew was convicted of armed robbery after the war and sentenced to five years in the Maine State Prison. Governor Chamberlain pardoned him and brought him to live with him in Brunswick. While there (or shortly after) Andrew and Libby had a daughter whom they named Grace, perhaps after the Chamberlain’s “Daisy.” There is a photo of the Chamberlain house at that time with the family outside and an unidentified man who could be Andrew.

Also, Joshua was 5’7? or 5’8? – exactly the average height for Civil War soldiers.

Tom

I answered him with this:

Tom, you are, as usual, a wealth of helpful information. Thank you. As to Joshua’s height, I had seen 5’10 on some papers somewhere. Tom was 5’8, I had seen too, but something somewhere said 5’10 for Joshua. I need to go and see where I found that now because it must be wrong if you say different. I want to say it was the “deed” to his body that he sent Fanny when he was at the Seminary. It was quoted in Diane Smith’s book. I’m not certain if that’s it exactly but I want to say that’s where I got 5’10. I need to go look and see if I can find it.

The reason why I shared this with you all is because Tozier as opposed to Lozier makes much more sense! This is why you should never ever take census records for face value because they are so full of errors. I didn’t have any leads on the “Lozier” family, so I left it alone, but the reason for that is because the name wasn’t Lozier at all. Of course I know the name Tozier. Andrew Tozier, as Tom said, was a sergeant in the 20th Maine who also received the Medal of Honor for his actions at Little Round Top.

As described by Chamberlain, “I saw through a sudden rift in the thick smoke our colors standing alone. I first thought some optical illusion imposed upon me. But as forms emerged through the drifting smoke, the truth came to view. The cross-fire had cut keenly; the center had been almost shot away; only two of the color guard had been left, and they fighting to fill the whole space; and in the center, wreathed in battle smoke, stood the Color-Sergeant, Andrew Tozier. His color staff planted in the ground at his side, the upper part clasped in his elbow, so holding the flag upright, with musket and cartridges seized from the fallen comrade at his side he was defending his sacred trust in the manner of the songs of chivalry.”

That’s the thing about past life cases – you can’t possibly know everything about them in the present and anyone saying they do know everything is lying to themselves. I know more than average about my own case but it’s very sheltered, very contained within the confines of Fanny’s mind and heart. Events unfolding outside of her bubble are harder to grasp. The spontaneous flashbacks I had when I was young felt like experiencing an introverted woman, but I wouldn’t have any point of reference for such an assessment as a child. Lives of somewhat introverted habits can be more temperamental to deal with and confirm than lives of very extroverted habits. I’m not always going to get everything and I’m not always going to be right. You’re not going to remember all the events and people from twenty years ago, so you can’t possibly be 100% accurate in remembering all the events and people from 150 years ago. The things that do rise to the surface, so to speak, are usually the major events and traumatic events that leave a mark on the soul. If you choose to acknowledge it, lesser events and people can be recalled over time.

I had no idea what was happening to me until I was a teenager going into adulthood and even then my primary desire was to make it all stop. Being a 30-year-old woman now, I have begrudgingly accepted what happened to me, who I was, and occasionally I look into Fanny’s history to fact check things I recalled just to satisfy my own curiosity. Far more often than not, I display knowledge that I shouldn’t have. It’s harder to say that since I started research about ten years ago, but luckily I wrote down what I remembered before I started the research in an effort not to be tainted. Some of those things are still what I look to document. A lot of it I have been able to document and I have unintentionally convinced quite a few skeptics of the validity of my case. However, I’m not always right. Nobody is, after all. The Tozier family and Miss Pennell may indeed be people I have seen in flashbacks who I haven’t identified but I haven’t had any, “Those Tozier people lived in my house,” thought processes growing up. The only way I identified people before was if I heard their names in the flashbacks but that’s a rather rare event. I did, however, fixate on Tozier’s name more than others associated with the 20th (besides Ellis Spear) when I was looking up things about the regiment years ago, which may be a faint unconscious inkling of recognition. I don’t know. And it’s okay to say I don’t know. That’s part of the mystery of where we come from and where we’re headed.

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these.

There is a new book coming out that has me quite interested. I haven’t seen a new Chamberlain book come out in several years, probably because the three main biographers have covered his life very well and there haven’t been any new revelations. However, this new book called Joshua L. Chamberlain: The Life in Letters of a Great Leader of the American Civil War is coming out next month. It’s edited by Thomas Desjardin, who previously wrote Stand Firm Ye Boys from Maine: The 20th Maine and the Gettysburg Campaign and Joshua L. Chamberlain and he served as the historical adviser to Jeff Daniels, who played Chamberlain in the film Gettysburg.

The description of the book on Amazon says:

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain has been a central character in two feature films (Gettysburg and Gods & Generals), a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel (The Killer Angels), and an inspiration for Ken Burns’s production of the highly acclaimed PBS series The Civil War. Chamberlain won national fame at the Battle of Gettysburg for his key role in fending off the Confederates at Little Round Top on day two of the battle.

This new volume brings to public light 300 never-before-seen letters from Chamberlain’s personal correspondence, which comprises letters sent by or to Chamberlain from his college years in 1852 to his death in 1914. The first 100 letters shed light on Chamberlain’s formative years and his courtship with Fannie Adams, which has been the source of much speculation by scholars. The final 200 letters reveal insights into Chamberlain the Union commander and the aftermath of the war.

Chamberlain’s image can be found on everything from historical art to sculpture, from t-shirts to clocks, from bobble-head dolls to snow globes. Despite all this attention, there is still a lot about Chamberlain that most people do not know. His life is a remarkable story of perseverance, tragedy, and triumph. From an insecure young man with a considerable stuttering problem who grew up in a small town in eastern Maine, Joshua Chamberlain rose to become a major general, recipient of the Medal of Honor, Governor of Maine, and President of Bowdoin College. His writings are among the most oft-quoted of all Civil War memoirs, and he has become a legendary, even mythical historical figure.

National Civil War Museum

So basically a massive amount of letters that weren’t public before are going to be public in this book. This is a big deal, especially to me, and I suspect it may be the most significant book to come out since Fanny & Joshua by Diane Monroe Smith about twelve or thirteen years ago. There was a piece on this book in the latest Civil War Times magazine (I’m probably the only female subscriber under 40!) that printed five different letters from the newly released material. It seems the letters were part of the collection belonging to the National Civil War Museum in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, and were released as part of the 150th anniversary of the beginning of the Civil War. Actually, we’re in the 150th anniversary of the second year now, which was when Chamberlain volunteered. The National Civil War Museum is very well done from what I remember of it in 2007. It’s like a bigger version of the Civil War exhibit here at the Atlanta History Center. I recommend it if you’re ever in Pennsylvania and you need something interesting to do.

A book like this is going to help me a lot because, if you’re aware of my reincarnation case, there is quite a bit that I haven’t been able to document just yet and some of the things I know don’t quite agree with the way history interprets. Such a hefty number of letters being released can help confirm or deny certain facts in my memory. Mind you, I haven’t been looking to prove my case in several years. I became satisfied with its validity a long time ago but I do still have personal curiosity about some things. For example, last year I had seen some chatter about Lawrence being a Mason but I had absolutely no inclination to think he was before and I found it confusing, so I asked (the author of this book, actually) if it was true. As it turns out, he became a Mason in a hush-hush ceremony the night before he left for the war and became a pretty high ranking member. Certainly Fanny/I was aware of it at some point but men never really talked about being Masons – at least in my present family – so it’s probable that it wasn’t on my radar enough back then to be easily remembered now. As I’ve said many, many times, most of what I know and remember is centered on the home, the family, art, music, relationships, etc., not what he was doing every day of his life. Sometimes, however, there are little nuggets of information in Lawrence’s letters and things that can clue me in on what was happening to me at different times and that’s why publications of letters like these are rather important. Most of my written material has disappeared over the years, so I have to rely on the documentation of people around me to paint the picture for me and tell me if what I remember is right or wrong.

This book isn’t going to be a dry collection of letters if I know Lawrence’s style either. He wrote in a beautiful way but he was also cheeky, affectionate, stern, critical, and he had the ability to make you feel like you were there. I’ve spent many hours buried in his letters at Bowdoin College, the Pejepscot Historical Society, and the Maine Historical Society. There were times when he had my friends and me laughing out loud and times when we were moved by the things he saw and felt. There’s a reason why he’s one of the most quoted primary sources on the Civil War. He had a way with words that showed much more than the dullness of military tactics and policies against the enemy. He was charming, even for today’s standards, and very compassionate and intelligent. People I know who aren’t interested in the nineteenth century still find his writing thought provoking, so I think more people will find a collection of his letters more interesting than they think.

Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain

I have spoken to Thomas Desjardin a few times concerning research and found him to be very helpful and considerate. I’m sure he knows the real reason for my occasional research inquiries but he has never been unkind or dismissive, which makes me respect him all the more. I never said why I ask questions and he never said anything about it either. That works for me! The approachability and willingness to share information is why I recommend his books to you all. Some historians can be quite unwilling to help people who aren’t themselves known as scholars. I’m just a woman in Georgia. Sometimes I need a little guidance because I didn’t get to finish college due to illness (I will eventually go back). It’s nice when respected people in the field take a few minutes to answer questions once in a while. I don’t care if people believe or understand my perspective in these matters (it took a long time to get there) but common courtesy is important in all areas of life.

In short: buy his books because I said so! Pre-order it here http://www.amazon.com/dp/1849085595 in hardcover or for your Kindle. The book will be released May 22.

I didn’t know what picture to use for this blog so I just put up the one of Eilfie and me since this list is mostly for her. It’s not any narcissistic desire to look at myself. Ha!

Anyway, the reason for this blog came from me looking at the books on the Paranormal Research Society’s donation wish list for their library. I told Eilfie that there weren’t any reincarnation books on the list and I volunteered to help her out with that section. This is my area of expertise. I’m an advocate for reincarnation research and providing people with access to research material. She wanted the book suggestions, so here I am with a list. I was going to give the list to her alone but then I thought maybe the rest of you could benefit from it too.

There are a lot of books here, yes. My goal was to provide a cross-section of books written by doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, spiritual leaders, as well as the people who have been brave enough to come forward with their individual experiences. Dr. Ian Stevenson and Dr. Brian Weiss are considered by many to be the godfathers of reincarnation research, so their books were the first ones to go on the list. Dr. Walter Semkiw is someone that I have personally worked with concerning my own past life case and he did some research on it with Kevin Ryerson, so I included his books. There are several books on this list that I haven’t read yet but that have come recommended to me in one way or another. There are also books on this list by people whose individual cases I have not personally investigated but I’m not one to only share ideas that I personally endorse. I share ideas of all kinds and let you decide for yourselves. For example, the case of Sherrie Lea Laird being Marilyn Monroe – I have talked to Sherrie before but we no longer communicate due to her extreme political views. Extreme views and personal differences, however, do not make a potential case invalid. On the other hand, I included a book by Jeffrey Keene who has been one of my mentors for several years and was a very close friend of my former husband’s in our past life cases. He wrote the introduction to my book.

If you’re a beginner, I suggest Many Lives, Many Masters by Dr. Weiss, then his other books to get the principles laid out, and then progress into Dr. Stevenson’s books and so forth. They will give you the proper tools to make decisions about what to learn from individual cases when you read them later. You will notice that these books are the Western take on reincarnation for the most part. The reason for that is I don’t consider myself educated enough in Eastern religions to make recommendations on such books. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there who can recommend the Eastern books. There are certainly other great books I’ve forgotten too but this is a great start. This list is already long enough! Oh and I included my own book at the end.

Eilfie, I hope you find this list helpful. Let me know if you need any more help with anything.

General Reincarnation

Many Lives, Many Masters: The True Story of a Prominent Psychiatrist, His Young Patient, and the Past-Life Therapy That Changed Both Their Lives by Brian Weiss – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0671657860

Same Soul, Many Bodies: Discover the Healing Power of Future Lives through Progression Therapy by Brian Weiss – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0743264347

Only Love Is Real: A Story of Soulmates Reunited by Brian Weiss – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0446672653

Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation by Ian Stevenson – http://www.amazon.com/dp/081390546X

Children Who Remember Previous Lives: A Question of Reincarnation by Ian Stevenson – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0786409134

European Cases of the Reincarnation Type by Ian Stevenson – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0786442492

Born Again: Reincarnation Cases Involving Evidence of Past Lives, with Xenoglossy Cases researched by Ian Stevenson, MD by Walter Semkiw MD – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0966298241

Return of the Revolutionaries: The Case for Reincarnation and Soul Groups Reunited by Walter Semkiw MD – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1571743421

Origin of the Soul and the Purpose of Reincarnation by Walter Semkiw MD – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0966298268

Born Again: Reincarnation Cases Involving International Celebrities, India’s Political Legends and Film Stars by Walter Semkiw MD – http://www.amazon.com/dp/8185250375

Children’s Past Lives: How Past Life Memories Affect Your Child by Carol Bowman – http://www.amazon.com/dp/055357485X

Return From Heaven: Beloved Relatives Reincarnated Within Your Family by Carol Bowman – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0061030449

Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1567184855

Destiny of Souls: New Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1567184995

Life Before Life: Children’s Memories of Previous Lives by Jim Tucker, Ian Stevenson – http://www.amazon.com/dp/031237674X

Past Lives, Present Miracles: The Most Empowering Book on Reincarnation You’ll Ever Read…in this Lifetime! by Denise Linn – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1401916821

Echoes from the Battlefield: First Person Accounts of Civil War Past Lives by Barbara Lane – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0876043554

Beyond the Ashes: Cases of Reincarnation from the Holocaust by Yonassan Gershom, Jon Robertson – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0876042930

Your Past Lives and the Healing Process: A Psychiatrist Looks at Reincarnation and Spiritual Healing by Adrian Finkelstein – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0964783118

Individual Cases

Soul Survivor: The Reincarnation of a World War II Fighter Pilot by Bruce Leininger, Andrea Leininger, Ken Gross – http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004Z4M3I4

Someone Else’s Yesterday: The Confederate General and Connecticut Yankee: A past Life Revealed by Jeffrey J. Keene – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1577331346

Looking for Carroll Beckwith: The True Stories of a Detective’s Search for His Past by Robert L. Snow – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1579541011

Across Time And Death: A Mother’s Search For Her Past Life Children by Jenny Cockell – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0671889869

And the Wolves Howled, Fragments of Two Lifetimes by Barbro Karlen – http://www.amazon.com/dp/190263618X

Marilyn Monroe Returns: The Healing of a Soul by Adrian Finkelstein – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1571745556

Another Place, Another Time: The Reincarnation of Crazy Horse by C. D. Montana – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0977059006

Jude —- My Reincarnation From Auschwitz by Jewelle St. James – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0973275219

All You Need Is Love — Second Edition by Jewelle St. James, Foreword by Bill Harry – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0973275227

The Lennon – Bronte Connection by Jewelle St. James and Foreword by Judy Hall – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0973275243

Stars Behind The Tortured Soul: Using Astrology to Heal Past Life Memories of the Holocaust by Miriam Slozberg – http://www.amazon.com/dp/193534076X

My Five Autobiographies: My Soul’s Experiences Lived through Five Recent Lives by Miriam Slozberg – http://www.amazon.com/dp/1440162182

Unveiled: Fanny Chamberlain Reincarnated by Jessica Jewett – http://www.amazon.com/dp/0557159350