Seriously, God?
Are you really going to do this if I go?
What if you don’t?
What are people going to think of me if you don’t?
If you don’t, this could really be traumatizing to these parents in a time of extreme grief.

I knew God was calling me to do it, and the weight of it made me sick to my stomach.  I called several of my spiritual parents for advice, some of whom had prayed for people to be raised from the dead before (unsuccessfully, unfortunately).  One of them said, “Well if you’re even calling me, then it’s probably not God telling you to go.”  That wasn’t helpful at all — it was just confusing.  I couldn’t get over “me.”  I really didn’t have faith that God could use me for something that big.  I couldn’t get over the thought of what could happen if I went and prayed and God didn’t do it.  Another friend of mine had a family member who died in a car accident, and they all went and prayed for him to be raised from the dead at the morgue, and they were still dealing with the hurt from that years later.

So I didn’t.  I went to the hospital.  I went to the funeral. But I just didn’t have the guts.  I was scared, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be representing Jesus well.

I still regret that to this day.

Do I believe God would have raised him from the dead if I had prayed?  Truthfully, I can’t say.  Domingos is still in Heaven with Jesus, and we gave it all we had.  But I know that I didn’t give God the opportunity to use me — and I have forgiven myself for that — but it’s something I have to live with for the rest of my life.  It’s a mistake I don’t ever want to repeat again.

It’s the reason why I marched around my house praying and crying and screaming for several hours when my friend’s second child was dying on the way to Vanderbilt due to heart problems the hospital didn’t catch when she was born.  I contended with God, and I fought with the devil.  I told God, “You promised her this child — you told me the day she was conceived to go tell her she was giving her the desire of her heart for another child, and you are not going to let this baby die.  You are not that kind of Father.  If that’s who you are, then I don’t know you at all!”  Those are some strong words.  And yes, she died for a few minutes, and God brought her back to life at the hospital. Several heart surgeries, miracles, and countless prayers and tears later, I am happy to say that as far as I know, she is a perfectly healthy little girl, released by doctors to go live life to the fullest.

All of that brings me to the events of the last month.

The last full day I was in Switzerland, I “randomly” (God appointment) met a man from Colorado who had seen many people raised from the dead.  He only shared four testimonies with us…  One of them was about a premature baby who had died in the hospital many hours before, and God brought her back to life with no brain damage from lack of oxygen.  Another was about a lady in Tanzania who had been pregnant for five years with a stillborn baby, and they prayed and the baby started kicking and she gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby boy two days later.  That man prayed for me for an impartation of his anointing, and I ended up on the floor with Holy Spirit for a while, and it was awesome.  He said he felt like God would give us opportunities to pray for people to be raised from the dead within two weeks, so be open and ready.

So a friend who I used to lead worship with is a nurse at a hospital in a nearby community.  Yesterday, we received an e-mail prayer request from her asking our church to pray for a baby who had not been delivered yet, but didn’t have a heartbeat.  The weight of that hit me like a ton of bricks.  I have to go pray for this baby and this family… I have to at least try.  I texted her and gave her the two-second version and basically said, “I’m available if there’s any way possible for me to come pray!”  I had no idea who this couple was, of course.

She eventually called me and told me the couple had left the hospital and would be coming in another day for delivery.  She passed my number along to a person who was working, since she was off this weekend, and they said they would let the couple know there was someone who would be available to pray with them before the delivery if they wanted to.  My friend did get the opportunity to pray with the couple and speak life over the baby before they left, so everyone at the hospital was very receptive to this idea.  I went to bed last night with the understanding that I would be driving to that community and just hanging out in a coffee shop, waiting on the hospital to hopefully call me if the couple came back and wanted someone to pray with them.

So last night, I woke up in the middle of the night with an angel standing in the corner of the room throwing fire at my face.  Sorry if that gets you out of your box.  It gets me out of my box too.  I was paralyzed, unable to speak, and every time it would throw fire at my face, my ears would ring really loud and I would start shaking under the power of God.  It was an experience to say the least — a good experience, but one that just doesn’t happen every day.  It happened at least 10-15 times before I fell back asleep.  I took that as a good sign — God must be up to something here!

So I got up, drove to that community and got a Starbucks latte to start off my morning.  When I fast, I still drink coffee because Hebrews.  (I’m sorry if 99% of you will quit reading at this point… I totally deserve it, but I just couldn’t help myself!)  They had told me to be in town around 9:00am.  Around 9:45am, as I was praying, I started to experience really strong feelings of mourning and grief.  I texted for an update, but didn’t find out anything for certain — only that they had not requested for me to come yet.  I got a phone call later saying that they didn’t think the couple had come in to the hospital yet, so it might be good to hang around in town for a while.

I decided to go to the hospital and sit in the chapel and pray for a while.  I bought this WubbaNub to pray with and to give the baby when he or she was born. I also anointed it with the King’s Garments anointing oil I had brought with me, because right now Baby was with Jesus and I wanted him or her to have the comfort of smelling that same Jesus smell when Baby got back to earth.  (Psalm 45:8 gives a description of what Jesus’ robes smell like — “your robes are all fragrant with myrrh and aloes and cassia” — I jokingly call this anointing oil the Jesus cologne!)

I spent several hours praying and contending at the hospital.  The entire time, I had so much peace, and I felt God’s presence really strongly.  I did find out about 1:00pm that there was some sort of miscommunication among the nurses, and the couple had in fact delivered the baby stillborn that morning, around the time I started discerning those feelings of mourning and grief.  I continued to pray, knowing that God is so much bigger than I am in this situation, and there is no reason that I had to physically go lay hands on the child and pray, for God to do it.  You can do a simple Google search and read articles about babies coming back to life in hospital chapels or in hospital rooms as the parents are grieving over their loss.  I knew that the family would still be at the hospital, and possibly even still have the child in the room with them, so there was no reason to pack up and go home just yet.  I prayed for quite a while longer until I felt peace that God was releasing me to go home.  Today was a really special day otherwise — my mom’s birthday, and I had to get home and help my wife cook dinner for her and the rest of the family.

Who knows what God did today through our prayers.  There were certainly a lot of us praying.  I don’t believe this was an obedience test with God to see if I would jump in the car with no certainty of getting to pray for a random stranger’s stillborn child, and then turn right around and drive home without getting the opportunity.  This is real life — these are real people who lost their child, and that deeply moves God’s heart.  I’m glad I went and prayed at the hospital today, even though I never met the couple or found out the gender of their child, or even know their names.  I was still obedient to the Lord in this.  The hospital staff were amazingly gracious and open to the possibilities, and kept my number for anytime this situation arises again in the future.

I also met some Swiss people who had started a ministry team whose purpose was to be available to hospitals and churches to pray for people to be raised from the dead.  I think that is so amazing.  (The leader of that team also prayed for me that day.)  I mean really, though– why not?  God is raising the dead through Christians all over the world right now.  Jesus commissioned us almost 2000 years ago and said go do the works He did and even greater things!  Why not here?  Why not now?

I am saving that WubbaNub for the first baby I pray for who is raised from the dead. Someday, it is going to happen.  God told me when I was in Mozambique, “If you want to see the dead raised, you’re going to have to hang around dead people.”  That’s a little unnerving, but it’s true.  Just like if we don’t lay our hands on the sick and pray, they won’t be healed.  If we don’t share Christ with the lost, they won’t get saved.

I think about what it would be like if it were me on the other side of this situation.  I would want someone to pray for my child, especially if they had a burning conviction in their heart for it.  It’s not about me.  I don’t have the power to save anyone, heal anyone, or raise them from the dead — only Jesus Christ does.  So it’s not on me to fulfill those promises of God, it’s only my responsibility to pray for God to fulfill them.  Coming to that understanding has really set me free to be more obedient to the things He has called me to do in life.

But I will say again, as I posted on Facebook this morning —

Don’t sing songs like Oceans by Hillsong unless you really mean it, because God will totally call you out on it!  “Did you mean those lyrics you sang?  Really?  Cause here’s what I’ve got for you to do today, so put your money where your mouth is, son.”

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders.
Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me.
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander,
And my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.

In the absence of more experiential advice at this point, I can write chapter one of my book.  And it will start out something like this:  “Step 1 — You have to actually pray for the dead if you expect them to be raised back to life.”

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In the afternoon we went to Gateways Beyond, a community house of prayer. It was a small gathering of about 30 people in a finished detached garage. The room was full and it was warm! Crazy enough, a couple from Denver, Colorado were there to speak and pray for us. Jim Rogers is a man who I understand has taught at Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry. He shared four testimonies of times he had prayed for people and they were raised from the dead! That was insanely encouraging! He prayed for me and I got the chance to talk to him about the revival and awakening that is going on in our community.

From there, we left and went to the church where we would have a service to pray for and bless the youth coaches who served at the Kids Games. I found out on the way over that I would get to lead worship. Sébastien led worship with me since many of them were French speaking only. The excitement and enthusiasm in worship was really intense. It was some of the best worship I have experienced in a while! We had a time of praying and prophesying over people as well which was really powerful.

The rest of the evening was spent hanging out with my new family before I packed to leave. I really love those guys. They are absolutely amazing and really love well. This morning we got to the airport and had breakfast and prayed before I left. So now I’m on my way home! Hopefully this will be a chance to get caught up on some sleep!

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This cross was made from individual pieces of colored clay made by each of the kids at the Kids Games.

We got the opportunity to pray with one of Séb’s friends today who feels called to minister in sports, but had broken his ankle a few months ago and has been having recurring problems with it. From what I understood, the bones still sounded & felt like they were cracking sometimes and they thought something wasn’t quite right with the surgery. We asked him something he couldn’t do before we prayed, and he tried standing on that foot and raising himself up and said it was very painful and he couldn’t do that since his surgery. We prayed for him and also washed his feet and anointed him. He could feel everything relaxing and he was regaining movement as we were praying. He got up and walked around and then started hopping on that foot for at least two minutes, and said it was 90% better. We continued praying and after that he said it felt great. He hadn’t been able to do anything like that since before he broke his ankle. He was so excited that he left pretty soon afterwards to go for a run!

We went and saw the fireworks tonight at the lake. They literally made Disney World look like cheap sparklers. The show lasted for over an hour and I got some really awesome video on both my phone and camera. Afterwards we found a Turkish place to eat and I had a grilled lamb wrap. It was pretty tasty!

Tomorrow we are going out for brunch, going to an afternoon home church, and then having the evening service at a church to pray for and bless the kids who came to help this year. They have asked me to speak for about 10 minutes and share some testimonies about what God is doing back in Kentucky.

Have a blessed Sunday, everyone..

Sébastien and I went to France today. My first trip to France literally lasted about 10 seconds. We forgot to stop and get sandwiches on our way to the mountain because we were busy talking. Long story short, the place he was familiar with was closed for the owners being on vacation so we went back into France and drove on up the mountain. The view was absolutely beautiful!

We came back and he helped with the stilts and I enjoyed just walking around the park and watching all of the different games the kids were involved in, and then we sat down under a tree and talked forever in the shade while the kids were playing.  It has been really great to rest and relax today and have so much time with Sébastien just to talk and enjoy one another’s company. Ministry is great, but Jesus modeled relationship and love as the heart of ministry. It is really important to take time to invest in our relationships and minister to each other too.

Tonight we had a banquet for the team and they presented gifts to everyone. They gave me Supernatural Ways of Royalty by Kris Valloton and Bill Johnson. They gave really beautiful plants to the women who served in the kitchen and behind the scenes. Most everyone else received Christian books written in French.

Today was the last full day of the event. Tomorrow they will have a half day championship tournament with all the kids and invite their parents to come. Sunday we will have a church service and pray for the youth who are on the team. We also spent a lot of time throughout the day praying for and prophesying over each other. I love how powerfully the Holy Spirit has been showing up here!.

I’ve had many conversations today and shared many testimonies about what God has been up to in our lives back home. They are very hungry for an outpouring here and have been praying for a long time. I really believe God is up to something big!

We had a great time worshiping tonight again and praying for the youth and for each other tonight. The night ended very powerfully with a big drink from Holy Spirit. Eléonore was completely overcome while driving, as were the rest of us. It took at least five minutes to get up the stairs to our flat! Ha ha. I haven’t felt that good in a LONG time — years maybe. God showed up in a really powerful way! :-)

I absolutely love the new family and connections I am making here. They are the best! This last picture is of the guys I led worship with last night.

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Thankfully I got 7 hours of great sleep last night! I woke up feeling completely refreshed. I enjoyed some strong coffee and Weetabix cereal for breakfast.  Weetabix is pretty awesome. It is in a large wafer form which crumbles into what looks like crunchy oatmeal. It tastes similar to Kellogg’s All-Bran cereal, only crushed up into the size of oatmeal flakes. The Italian stove-p coffee maker only makes about half a mug of coffee, so I decided to venture out after breakfast to look for a coffee shop and buy a nice large café latte (espresso with steamed milk). I realized it was a good possibility that wherever I ended up, the people wouldn’t speak English, so I whipped out the Google Translate app and brushed up on my (non-existent) French. Armed with phrases such as “I don’t speak French, “I want a café latte,” and “I want espresso with milk” since you may get either coffee or espresso depending on their interpretation of latte in various places in Europe, I went out the door in search of a coffee shop. I never found a coffee shop, but an English-speaking man who was setting tables outside of a closed restaurant directed me to a place that served espresso. I got there, and of course they did not speak English. I busted out my newly-learned French, which was absolutely horrible but successful in communicating what I wanted to drink. However when I went to pay, she said, “No MasterCard! Not for 3 Francs! Go to bank!” Apparently she did speak a little English. Ha ha. So off I went, back to the flat to make more coffee on the stove…

This morning they asked me to lead worship tonight and play/sing for a lady leading worship with her flute tomorrow night. It was a challenge to pick out songs because most aren’t English speakers, and different people were unsure if they would know the song in French to sing along in their own language. I collaborated with several people and settled on a good worship set. Sébastien translated all of the lyrics to French so we would have both English and French subtitles for each slide.

The computer I had to use to input lyrics absolutely drove me crazy! The keyboard was in a French layout, so many of the letters and punctuation were in different places, as you can see from the picture below. (Seb had the same problem too because his computer has a Swiss keyboard layout. Glad to know I wasn’t the only one struggling to type!!!)  I was also unfamiliar with the lyric projection program and all of the menus and icons were in French, so it was a challenge to navigate.

Fortunately, worship went really well tonight! I played keyboard and led, and Sébastien played guitar and also sang in French and translated as I sang spontaneously and prayed during worship. We had the flute player I am leading with tomorrow night and a cousin-in-law-in-law from Spain who played the drums. We did not practice at all. It went completely flawless and beautiful and was very anointed. Listen how crazy this is:

* a Swiss man playing guitar and singing
* a Spanish man playing the drums
* a Belgium woman playing flute
* an American man playing keyboard and singing

I also worshiped some in Portuguese and a tiny bit in Spanish because I knew there were some Portuguese and Spanish speaking people there that did not speak good English. That was fun, and one guy came and spoke to me afterwards and told me he appreciated it because he was way more familiar with that song in Portuguese and that was special for him.

Our speaker tonight was Alain Auderset, who is very a famous comic book creator. (I’m sure there’s a better term for that, but that’s what I’m going with at 3AM!) He was a very engaging speaker. They translated part of his message for me, but I enjoyed talking to him over dinner and getting to know him and praying with him beforehand as he spoke pretty good English as well. He has been to the U.S. and India and many other places. They gave me one of his hard back comic books that was translated to English, as a gift.

In other news, please pray for my luggage! It missed four flights to Geneva today, and they keep making excuses and providing no explanation as to why it’s not here. Last I heard, it’s supposedly here and they will bring it to me in the morning. However that’s what they said last night too. I’m praying this time it is the truth! Jesus bring my luggage! But regardless, I am going out to buy some new clothes in the morning. I will be on day 4 of these shorts — my only shorts. I can’t very well wash them without being indecent. Seb doesn’t have a dryer and his wife’s cousin has a dryer at work. There is just no good option for that! I found out from Air France tonight that they will reimburse me for 100 Euros of purchases. The guy at the airport told me they wouldn’t at all. The Air France lady was very apologetic and told me she would report that to her manager and showed me where the forms were online. That made me feel better!

I’m also hoping to get a SIM card tomorrow so I can have access to Internet, email, and free texting on my phone. It is very difficult to have access now — I have to carry Seb’s phone around in my pocket! I am looking forward to on more awesome worship tomorrow night, and to whatever else God has in store tomorrow and the rest of my time here. Our prayer times have been very refreshing and full of Holy Spirit! I am believing for even greater things.

Sébastien, Eléonore, and I came home and enjoyed many different kinds of cheeses and chocolate tonight. That was a real treat! We got a picture of all this with a Swatch and a Swiss Army knife, just so you all would know I was having the true Swiss experience.

Thanks for your prayers — and add jet lag to the list. I’ve had a hard time getting wound down tonight. It’s almost 3:00am here!

I am having an amazing trip, despite my luggage being lost. Seb and his family are the best. I was talking tonight how I have just walked into a home away from home. I have felt like family since the moment I got here. Everyone has gone out of their way to be so loving and genuinely kind, even his in-laws who don’t speak English at all! It has been an amazing blessing to come here..

I have to quickly recap my hilarious luggage fiasco and give you an update. First off, we were 30 minutes delayed taking off from NYC because a passenger didn’t board the flight and they had to find and remove his luggage for security reasons. I had been checking my Delta app and my luggage wasn’t showing up as scanned onto my second flight, so I started praying. While they were fishing out this missing passenger’s luggage, they discovered that they had failed to load an entire connecting flight’s luggage onto our plane. Guess who’s missing luggage that was? Mine! I watched as they scanned my luggage, rolled it to the container, and literally my luggage was the last piece to board the flight — a full two hours after we were supposed to take off. Even in leaving two hours late, we arrived with 45 minutes left for me to get my connecting flight to Geneva, cutting my layover in half. That would have been fine, except someone randomly parked a plane at our gate and it took them a full 45 minutes to find a pilot and have him back the plane out of the gate so we could disembark. Thus, my flight to Geneva was long gone. They rebooked me for a flight three hours later, but unfortunately my luggage didn’t make it to Geneva with me despite all of their assurances that it would. Fortunately they have found it and are supposed to be delivering it to us tomorrow! It’s a good thing I packed a change of clothes in my backpack…

I am beyond humbled that they have brought me here. Hardly anyone speaks English — mostly French, Spanish, and Portuguese. I had already joked with Toni that they surely thought more highly of me than I did because they were paying my expenses to come and I didn’t have to raise my own support. And now to realize they brought me here knowing there would be such a language barrier — that is really humbling.

Today was really awesome. It has been good to see my friend Sébastien! It has been 6 years since I spent the summer with him in Mozambique, but it feels like we haven’t missed a beat. Switzerland feels like home, and I have fallen in love with his all of his in-laws!  His brother-in-law went to the Iris Ministries mission school the summer after my wife did, and he also spent a few years at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, so we are very like-minded. I spent the evening being introduced to many people. We also had a great time with about ten of us praying and prophesying over one another in the back of the tent. I also did a little soaking instrumental worship for the prayer time tonight. It has been a long, but great day.

Here are a few pictures from today.

My almost long-lost luggage, which still got lost anyways, but now is found.

Yes they have an espresso machine under the tent! As my pastor Philip said — Heaven is for real!

You can only see about 1/4 of the tent in this picture. Seb said this tent has been rented and used for years for revivals!

Small worship gathering tonight with a few of the volunteers. Seb is in the red hoodie in the center.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for me! Please pray that God continues to pour out his love on the 250 youth and young adults that have gathered here. Many of them are Muslim or other denominations. The name of the event is the Kids’ Games, but everyone understands in coming that they will be taught about the Bible and singing music. Also pray for the team that has assembled here from all over to minister, and that God will begin to bring awakening and revival to Geneva like we have been seeing at home in Madisonville. They are hungry for it!.

This has been a very quick thing, too. A friend I met in Mozambique in 2008 contacted me about coming about a month ago. They are hosting this youth event under a tent. God put it on Sébastien’s heart to fly me out there, and he pulled up my Facebook to contact me and saw me leading worship for the tent revival going on in our community! What a cool confirmation. I am honored and blessed to go and be a part of what God is doing in Geneva, Switzerland. I believe that the Lord is going to move mightily over the next week! I am believing for big things and I appreciate you joining me in prayer for this. We have seen so many amazing miracles over the last few months in our community — a 4.5-month-old baby born blind who received sight to the amazement of his doctor, six doctor-verified healings of diabetes, dental miracles, and disabled people being completely healed to the point they can walk pain free without the assistance of their walkers — just to name a few! (Check out www.crossfireky.com to see all of the amazing testimonies of what God has been up to in Madisonville, KY!) I believe God wants to release these same signs, wonders, and miracles all throughout the earth, and I am excited once again to travel the globe and be a part of such an outpouring. 

On a side note, I am thankful for the small blessings that God is already providing in my international travel. When I booked my flights, I was stuck in middle seats in the middle of the plane for the trans-Atlantic flights because that’s all that was available. As I was flying from Nashville to New York, I checked again and was able to change to window seats on both flights which had come available today! On the return flight, I am actually the only one in that row right now! I love it how God cares about the little things like that, and answered that prayer. He is so good. 

I am thankful for my awesome best friend who picked me up and took me to Nashville to the airport and had lunch with me before I left. We had some great time with Jesus praying and reading more of Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk. I am also thankful for friends who have connected with me or stopped by my house over the last few days and prayed with me before I left… And for a wife who is so loving and supportive and who let me leave the country without her, guilt-free, on her first week of school! :-) I am convinced that I am loved by some of the best people in the world!

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Around six years ago, I ended up in an almost parental role with a teenager who was going through a lot of family problems at the time. He slept on my floor many nights, I fed him, took him to and from school more days than not… I really invested myself into this kid’s life and grew to love him like a son. I supported him at his sports events and did my best to be a good spiritual influence in his life. And one day out of nowhere, he decided he hated me to the core. He was never the most loving person to start with, but he went a little overboard in letting me know how much he hated and despised me, and even his girlfriend had no idea what in the world had happened with him. And thus it was left like that for over a year.

I remember laying in bed one night praying for this kid around a month later and I ended up literally sobbing as I was laying there, worried about him and mourning over the loss and not understanding what had even happened to cause it. I can’t imagine what parents who truly love their kids go through when they are rejected and cut out of their lives, but I know what it felt like after 6 months and it sucked. As I was laying there, God began to speak to me. He said two things very clearly. I think if He had said anymore, I would have probably died right there from a broken heart.

“How do you think it makes me feel when I long for a relationship with my children their entire lives and they reject me completely and end up spending an eternity in hell?”

And if that wasn’t bad enough!

“How do you think it makes me feel when you go a whole month ignoring me, not spending time with me and barely acknowledging me unless it is in a conversation with someone else?”

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Over a year later, I was in the middle of a 40 day Daniel fast and I guess this kid just woke up one day and decided he didn’t hate me anymore… An answer to a year’s worth of prayer. I took him out to O’Charley’s in Paducah and we caught up on a year’s worth of happenings and the Lord told me to break my fast that night and celebrate because He was celebrating with me. That is probably the best salad and chicken tendets I have ever had in my life! Ha ha.

God blessed me again a year later. He and his girlfriend showed up at the church I was pastoring for the last night of our revival. At the end of the service, the visiting pastor did something really unusual — he told the congregation to come up and express their appreciation for me. And this kid, who was graduating high school in a few days, came up and grabbed me and hugged me and told me he loved me and he appreciated everything I had done for him. That was a lot coming from a kid who I had never seen hug anyone but his girlfriend, and whose only response to “I love you” had ever been “Yeah…” A few days later I got fired from preaching, which is a whole other story. But God knew I needed that encouragement and affirmation to realize that I was making a difference in people’s lives no matter how much me or the enemy got in the way and screwed things up.

If you want to love like He loves and feel what He feels, He will answer that prayer. But it takes hours on your face with Him every day just to survive. So if you’re not willing to invest that kind of time with Him, then just forget it because the enemy will take the very answer to your prayer — love — and use it against you and attempt to destroy you with it. Love will cost you everything. Look what it did to Jesus. He was despised and rejected by men. He was a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. The kind of man that people hid their faces from. (Isaiah 53)

Prepare yourself to be rejected, despised, persecuted, gossiped about, completely misunderstood… And prepare for it to hurt really bad. Even when you think you are rock solid in your relationship with the Lord, it can completely destroy you if you have any strongholds or fears of rejection that you haven’t worked through with the Lord. I have spent periods of weeks and months out of fellowship with God and other Christians because I have been so hurt and upset by how people have rejected me when my motivations were based in love. It hurts when the people you love the most totally reject you, throw you out of their lives, then seek to take hostages with them. I think only in the last two months has God really began to set me free from rejection and fear of rejection, but even that doesn’t take away the sadness and mourning over the loss of so many relationships that were truly precious and like family to me.

So one might ask — Is it possible to love too much, to care too much? Let me answer a question with a question… Does the God of the universe love and care for you too much?

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:12-13 (ESV)

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” – Romans 12:10 (ESV)

“I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?” – 2 Corinthians 12:14 (ESV)

I rest my case.

We are commanded to love our brothers and sisters in Christ so many times. We are commanded to even love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Both, the Word says, are so that we may be sons of our Heavely Father. That doesn’t really leave much wiggle room, does it? If you have any doubts, feast on these verses…

Matthew 5:43-48
Matthew 22:35-40
John 13:34-35
John 15:12-17
Romans 12:9-21
Romans 13:8-10
1 Corinthians 1:1-13
1 Corinthians 16:14
2 Corinthians 12:15
Ephesians 3:14-19
Ephesians 4:1-3
Philippians 1:8-11
Philippians 2:1-4
Colossians 3:12-17
1 Thessalonians 3:11-13
1 Thessalonians 4:9-12
Hebrews 10:24-25
1 Peter 1:22-23
1 Peter 3:8-9
1 Peter 4:8-9
2 Peter 1:5-8
1 John 2:10
1 John 3:10-24
1 John 4:7-21

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Galatians 6:2 says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

It is such a radical blessing from God to come alongside other people as they walk through trials and persecution, through forgiveness and restoration, through sickness of heart and body.  When you feel like you can’t love people any more, God just blows the lid off..

Phileo – (a) to be a friend to / fond of an individual or an object; (b) to have affection for; (c) denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; (d) to kiss, as a mark of tenderness

This type of love is what people often refer to as brotherly love.  Interestingly it is also used to relate the love that the Father has for Jesus in John 5:20.  And if you’ve been around me long enough and I’ve come to love you, chances are you’ve probably fallen victim to one or more (or all) of these manifestations of love. Ha ha.

I’ve found that with people I really love deeply from the heart, this love turns tangible on the inside.  Sometimes it’s when I’m praying for them or I haven’t talked to them in a few days, or I miss seeing them or I’m looking forward to spending time with them… or for no discernable reason at all.  But I feel it in a real and tangible way.  Paul had an understanding of this:

Philippians 4:3-11
³ I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, ⁴always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, ⁵ because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. ⁶And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. ⁷It is right for me to feel this way about you all, because I hold you in my heart, for you are all partakers with me of grace, both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel. ⁸For God is my witness, how I yearn for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. ⁹And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, ¹⁰so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, ¹¹filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

As a friend of mine put it today, those are the spiritual bonds that you don’t want to break off. The kind that God intended.  And something clicked in me about a week ago that I have been processing in my mind…  I wish the love I have for Jesus felt like that all the time!  There have been times that God’s presence has been so overwhelming that I have physically felt Him wrap his arms around me and hug me, and all I could do was cry and shake.  I want to want that more!  Every day, physically, tangibly.

Jesus is a real person.  He has a real human body, and He is coming back sooner than later to establish His kingdom for eternity.  Why don’t I miss him and long for him to come back more than I miss my friends that live across the ocean, that live hours away, that live a few blocks away?  I think it’s because my heart gets disconnected from this reality.  As I told my friend today, “I want him to be as real as you are. He is very real to me, and I love him a lot. But sometimes there’s this disconnect in my heart cause he’s not here right now as a physical person.”

John, “the disciple whom Jesus loved,” knew what it was like to love Jesus like that, but you might not know it depending on what translation of the Bible you read.

Look at some translations of John 13:23 —

“One of his disciples, whom Jesus loved, was reclining at table close to Jesus,” – ESV
“One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him.” – NIV
“The disciple Jesus loved was sitting next to Jesus at the table.” – NLT

“There was reclining on Jesus’ bosom one of His disciples, whom Jesus loved.” – NASB
“Now there was leaning on Jesus’ bosom one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.” – KJV

The literal translation of the Greek actually says that John was reclining or leaning on the bosom of Jesus. Bosom is not a part of most people’s daily vocabulary, at least not mine, so I looked it up!  The most obvious definition is, “the human chest and especially the front part of the chest.”  It is also defined as:

• “a state of enclosing intimacy; warm closeness”
• “the chest conceived of as the seat of the emotions and intimate feelings”
• “ the security and intimacy of or like that of being hugged to someone’s bosom”

Maybe some Bible translators just didn’t think it was manly enough to translate the passage literally, but I applaud the NASB and KJV.  I want to love Jesus like that!  I want to be as unashamed as John.  I have experienced that kind of closeness with few people in my life, but I have found it completely liberating on the inside.  And I want to experience the fullness of that love with my Savior.  I desire desire.  I want to want.  I long to long for Him more.  More than I love my best friends or my mom, more than I’ll love my wife someday, I want to love Him now.

Song of Solomon 8:6-7a
“Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the LORD.
⁷ Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.”

I have felt His overwhelming love for me more times than I can count, but I want to love Him with that same passion.  I have been stuck on a song called “Magnificent Obsession” that Laura Hackett sang on the IHOP Limited Edition Volume 30 CD.  The lyrics are awesome…

There is only one who is holy … Only this one who is good
There is only one who is holy … Only this one who is good

Rightly I say how I love Him … Following wherever He goes
Rightly I say how I love Him … Following wherever He goes

Oh how I love this man Jesus
His purpose is my heart’s desire
He’s my magnificent obsession
Passion for Him burns like fire
Passion for Him burns like fire

When I find Him, whom my soul does love … Embracing Him, I’ll not let go
When I find Him, whom my soul does love … Embracing Him, I’ll not let go

For His banner of love abides over me … Ending the dark night of my soul
For His banner of love abides over me … Ending the dark night of my soul

Oh how I love this man Jesus
His purpose is my heart’s desire
He’s my magnificent obsession
Passion for Him burns like fire
Passion for Him burns like fire

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²⁷Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.

One thing that God taught me at the Iris Ministries Harvest School in Mozambique, and that He has taught me over and over since then, is the importance of stopping for the one.  So what exactly is stopping for the one?  I believe it is appreciating the value of every human life — that God is passionately and madly in love with each person that He has created. Even when it makes you uncomfortable, or it’s inconvenient, or it doesn’t fit in your schedule…

I remember back when I was in grade school, my mom used to take night classes at Murray State University.  She came home one Wednesday night with an awful but hilarious story.  She and another lady were driving to school together and ran out of gas right within sight of an exit ramp.  She called the state police from her cell phone and asked if someone could bring her a gallon of gas.  They said “Sure, no problem, we have a post right at the top of the exit! Someone will be there in a few minutes.”  Of course, it was an over an hour before anyone showed up.  But while they were patiently waiting, a man pulled over and asked them what was going on and if he could be of any help.  She explained that they had ran out of gas and that she thought the police had forgotten about coming to help them.  She asked if he could help her get a gallon of gas from a gas station off the exit in front of them.  You know what his reply was?  “No ma’am, I’m sorry, I don’t have time.  I’m on my way to church to teach Bible study and I can’t be late. But good luck and God bless!” He promptly got back in his car and took off.  He must have missed James 2:15-16 in his studies — “¹⁵ If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, be warmed and filled,” without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”

A few months ago, me and some friends were making a midnight run to Walmart after a night of prayer and worship.  When we were driving off, we noticed a guy walking across the parking lot with a huge duffel bag.  We decided to stop and check on him and you can probably predict how the conversation went.

“Hey man, you need a lift anywhere?”
“Sure!”
“Where are you going?”
“Where are you headed?”

Long story short, we found out that he had mostly walked that day to Tennessee from his former home in Alabama.  His wife, daughter, and step-daughter had died in a car accident seven months ago and he had just finished paying off the funeral that day.  He didn’t get along with his in-laws and having no family of his own left in Alabama, he just took off walking, hoping to get back to Chicago where his family lived.  As we were helping him to a hotel room, I noticed he was walking in terrible pain.  I offered to carry his duffel bag and he said, “Thanks, but I broke my back 10 years ago and this is just a part of my life now.”  And then something in me clicked.  “I can help him with THAT!”  I started giving him testimonies about all the backs that I had seen God miraculously heal through prayer, as did my friend.  He looked at us with tears in his eyes and said, “So are you going to pray for me or what?”  God healed and straightened his back right there, relieving him of all the pain and giving him better mobility.  We also ministered to his heart and he rededicated his life to Jesus.  Being out of prescription pain pills for his back, he hadn’t slept well  in months, but when we went to pick him up the next day he told us he slept like a baby until 11:00 that morning, and he felt better than he had felt in years!  It was amazing to see how quickly God rescued him — physically, spiritually, and emotionally.  He had set out at 5:00 the morning before and less than 24 hours later, God had rescued him off the street, healed his back, started the healing process in his heart, given him a place to rest, and provided him with a bus ticket home to Chicago.

I wonder how many divine encounters we miss because we simply turn our heads and drive or walk on by.

I remember one time last summer I was walking from the Dondo base to the vegetable market to pick up some food.  I was in a hurry for some reason.  Seems like I had people coming over for dinner and I had run out of potatoes and needed to go buy more.  I was literally power walking down the dirt road as fast as I could and saw a crippled kid in a wheelchair and another little boy pushing him.  He ran up to me and stuck his hand out and started saying “fome, fome” which means “hungry, hungry” in English.  I told him “I’m sorry” in Portuguese and kept on walking.  Needless to say I got about 10 steps away and I stopped dead in my tracks.  Major conviction set in and it was if God was saying, “For real?  Why did you even come here?  Why DID you fly all the way to Mozambique this summer?”  I turned around and went back to the kids and explained the best I could in Portuguese for them to stay there because I was walking to the market and would buy them some food and be right back.  Needless to say they were very happy, and more times than not when I walked to the market, I would see them on the way.  I made sure to stop and pray for them and bring them bread, vegetables, etc.  I could pretty much count on buying a little extra food and running into them every trip.  I say that not to make myself look good, but to prove a point:  Really, what did it cost me?  My time.  I bet you the whole summer it never cost me more than $5 in American dollars to feed them abundantly.  And it would have been a sin to pass those little kids by.  The kid in the wheelchair did not ask to be born with deformities.  He and his brother did not ask to be orphans begging on the streets.  And who am I to walk on by when God has blessed me with two legs to walk and money in my pocket to buy food?  Seriously?!

But it must flow out of intimacy with Jesus, or it’s for nothing.

Jesus said it best in Mark 14:7 – “For you always have the poor with you, and whenever you want, you can do good for them. But you will not always have me.”

Judas Iscariot, the one who betrayed Jesus, had criticized a lady for “wasting” expensive ointment on anointing Jesus’ head and feet when it could have been sold and the money spent to feed the poor.  (Of course, as it says in John’s account of the story, Judas was just being a selfish thief.)

The lady had brought almost a year’s worth of wages and literally poured it out at Jesus’ feet in worship to Him, and Jesus rebuked those who scolded her for it.

God has called us to be His hands and feet to the physically poor and spiritually poor.  He has called us to give the best of our lives to Him in both intimacy and in action.  However, if we’re so busy with our families, our jobs, our ministries… that we don’t see the people in need right in front of us, we are going to miss out on a tremendous blessing, and in reality, so may they.  I wonder what would have happened to the man in the Walmart parking lot if we hadn’t stopped that night.  Would God have convicted someone else to stop and help him?  Maybe.  Would they have been obedient?  Maybe.  And then again, maybe not… We do have free will after all.  Freedom to choose God’s perfect plans and timing, and freedom to turn our head and drive on by.  You may be in that same place of need some day.  What kind of harvest are you sowing?

Romans 12:1 – “¹ I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.“.

I have recently come across a new (to me) teaching that states that punishment in Hell is only temporary. The basis for this doctrine is in their belief that the Greek noun aion can only be defined as a temporary period of time, or age, and that when you turn it into an adjective, it cannot have greater meaning or force than the noun.  They say that when aionion (the adjective) or its derivatives are used, that it can never mean things like eternal, everlasting, or forever.

On a quick side note, I also find it interesting that they use pagan Greek historians from the 1st Century B.C. and 4th Century B.C. to try to prove that the doctrine of Hell was fabricated by powerful church leaders in order to scare & deceive the masses so that the world would not go crazy in moral depravity.  That’s confusing: first, they said Hell was only temporary, then they said Hell doesn’t even exist!  However, the concept of everlasting punishment by fire for the wicked is an Old Testament concept written about in books such as Jeremiah, Isaiah, Daniel, and Psalms between 5th-14th Centuries B.C., at least a century before these people existed.  And besides that, if you look at the world today, you can see that the concept of eternal punishment in Hell is certainly not curbing wickedness and moral depravity.  People don’t need to be scared out of Hell into a relationship with God, they need to be loved into relationship with God and saved from Hell.

Getting back to the discussion of forever…

Quick Fact:  The root word for aion is aei.  The definition of aei is ever, unceasingly, always, and constantly.  I acknowledge that there are places where a derivative of this word is translated as “age” or “world” and that the Bible talks about these ages coming to an end. English has its own oddities like this. But is it good common sense to try and argue that all derivatives of a root word mean the opposite of what the root word means? That doesn’t make sense to me.

The author of this doctrine makes a statement that “Since grammar rules mandate an adjective CANNOT take on a greater force than its noun form, it is evident that “aionion” in any of its adjective forms (ios, ou, on) CANNOT possible mean “everlasting” or anything remotely indicating eternity or unending time.”

Let’s look at the uses of aionion in the New Testament (Strong’s NT 166). I believe if we examine the usage of this Greek word in light of the entire New Testament, we can come to an accurate conclusion and determine whether the statement above is true or false.

Matthew 25:46
46And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.”

Mark 3:29
29but whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin”—

Revelation 1:17-18
17 When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, 18and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.

Hebrews 9:11-15
11But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) 12he entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption. 13For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the purification of the flesh, 14how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God. 15Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant.

2 Peter 1:11
11For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Romans 6:22-23
²²But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. ²³ For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

John 10:18
²⁸ I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.

If we were to agree with the above statement which says that aionion can only be translated to mean a temporary time period, then that would mean:

• Eternal life is merely temporary, which leaves open the possibility that we could die again.
• Jesus has only been resurrected for a temporary period of time.
• Jesus only secured a temporary redemption by sacrificing himself for our sins.
• The Holy Spirit is only temporary, not eternal. Temporarily what? Temporarily God? Temporarily Holy?
• Our promised inheritance in Christ is only temporary.
• The coming kingdom of the Lord Jesus Christ is only temporary.
• That the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is temporary life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I want to point out that Mark 3:29 and John 10:18 both have the word “never” in them.

• Mark 3:29 – Does it make sense that blaspheming the Holy Spirit is a temporary sin that we can never be forgiven of?
• John 10:18 – Does it make sense that we will never perish, yet the life that Jesus gives is only temporary?

The most obvious contradictory verse I have found so far is this:

2 Corinthians 4:18
¹⁸So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

If we were to subscribe to the theory that aionion can never mean eternal, then this verse would have to be reworded to state, “So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is temporary.”  That doesn’t sound like much of a compare & contrast statement to me.

“FOREVER AND EVER”…

Finally, I want to take a look at a Greek phrase that most translators translate to English as “forever and ever” which the author of this false doctrine is also trying to distort into meaning a temporary and indeterminate period of time.  The Greek, transliterated into our alphabet is eis toús aioónas toón aioónoon.

This Greek phrase is found 18 times in the New Testament.  We can classify these verses into roughly four categories:

1. How long does God live?

• Revelation 1:17-18
  When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. But he laid his right hand on me, saying, “Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades.
• Revelation 4:9
  And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
• Revelation 10:6
  and swore by him who lives forever and ever, who created heaven and what is in it, the earth and what is in it, and the sea and what is in it, that there would be no more delay,
• Revelation 15:7
  And one of the four living creatures gave to the seven angels seven golden bowls full of the wrath of God who lives forever and ever,

2. How long does God receive blessing, glory, honor, dominion, might, power, wisdom, and thanksgiving?

• Galatians 1:3-5
  Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to deliver us from the present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
• Philippians 4:20
  To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
• 1 Timothy 1:17
  To the King of ages, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory forever and ever. Amen.
• 2 Timothy 4:18
  The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.
• Hebrews 13:21
  equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
• 1 Peter 4:11
  whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
• Revelation 1:4-6
  John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, and from Jesus Christ the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of kings on earth.  To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood and made us a kingdom, priests to his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.
• Revelation 5:13
  And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!”
• Revelation 7:12
  saying, “Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever! Amen.”

3. How long does God reign and how long will we reign with Him?

• Revelation 11:15
  Then the seventh angel blew his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he shall reign forever and ever.”
• Revelation 22:5
  And night will be no more. They will need no light of lamp or sun, for the Lord God will be their light, and they will reign forever and ever.

4. How long is the eternal punishment?

• Revelation 19:3
  Once more they cried out, “Hallelujah! The smoke from her goes up forever and ever.”
• Revelation 20:9-10
  And they marched up over the broad plain of the earth and surrounded the camp of the saints and the beloved city, but fire came down from heaven and consumed them, and the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.

I appeal to your common sense!

Does God only live for a temporary amount of time?
Does God only receive praise, honor, glory, power, etc. for a temporary amount of time?
Does God reign only for a temporary amount of time?

If not, then punishment in the lake of fire is not temporary either!

Nevertheless, the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. (2 Timothy 4:3-4)

Don’t fall into the trap!

For more reference to the Greek word aionion, see the following verses.

Verses that talk about eternal fire, destruction, judgment, and punishment:

Matthew 18:18
Matthew 25:41
Matthew 25:46
2 Thessalonians 1:9
Hebrews 6:2
Jude 7

Verses that talk about eternal life:

Matthew 19:16, 19:29
Mark 10:17, 30
Luke 10:25, 16:9, 18:18, 18:30
John 3:15, 16, 36
John 4:14, 36
John 5:24, 39
John 6:27, 40, 47, 54, 68
John 10:28
John 12:25, 50
John 17:2, 3
Acts 13:46, 48
Romans 2:7, 5:21,
Romans 6:22-23
Galatians 6:8
1 Timothy 1:16
Titus 3:7
1 John 1:2, 2:25, 3:15, 5:11, 5:13, 5:20
Jude 21

Miscellaneous verses:

Mark 3:29
Romans 16:25-26
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
2 Corinthians 5:1
2 Timothy 2:10
Titus 1:2
Philemon 15
Hebrews 5:9
Hebrews 13:20-21
1 Peter 5:10
2 Timothy 1:9
Revelation 14:6.

I also want to tell you the story about how I got this printer.  When I was the pastor at Fairview UMC in Eddyville, KY a few years ago, they used to print their full color bulletins out on an inkjet printer.  They were wasting so much money and I had been wanting a color laser printer for years, so this was my chance to “justify” the purchase. Ha ha.  After researching for a while, I went to Office Depot in Hopkinsville and found the printer I wanted — an HP Color LaserJet 3600N.  All they had was the display model, which had like 75% of the cartridges left.  The manager was only willing to come down like $20 off the price of the printer, even though 25% of $900 worth of cartridges had already been used, plus it was the display model.  I decided to buy it anyways, and the guy at the register thought the manager was such a jerk to me that he gave me 20% off the total price anyways!

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I love this guys.  According to the description of Celiac Disease from Mayo Clinic: “No treatment can cure celiac disease.”

… EXCEPT JESUS CHRIST!!!

She e-mailed me a week and a half later to let me know she had started eating gluten in increasing amounts every day after we prayed together, and she is completely healed!  God is so awesome!  She can eat whatever she wants now!  Our Daddy in heaven loves us so much.  He cares about food allergies because they damage our bodies and prevent us from enjoying part of His creation.

“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” – Jeremiah 32:27.