Jesus and Metal

I Don't Even Know

2014-02-13T00:23:00.001-05:00

I'm going to be totally honest in this post. I have never cried at a funeral or viewing of anyone. Ever.

One day in November, I was driving and I was pretty upset over some stuff both of my roommates were doing, and I saw this homeless girl and God told me to help her. I argued for a minute and eventually gave in. My friend and I bought some stuff for this girl. I gave it to her, and we talked for about 30 to 40 minutes. I gave her my number and we talked for about a month before she dropped off the face of the Earth.

I had talked with my roommates about letting her spend the night on our couch and it was alright with them. With this winter being so cold and my friend telling me one of her friends almost froze, I was worried she had died.

A few weeks ago, I had texted her before I took her out of my phone. I figured if she didn't respond she was dead, and at least I tried to contact her. She responded, and we talked for a bit.

Then later that week, she sent me a text confirming where I lived and asking if she could sleep on our couch. I said yes, and I picked her up where she was at. We spent time talking and we're actually fairly good friends. She taught me how to gas chug, which is homeless lingo for panhandling at gas stations for gas and money. I learned how to do this, because I want to know what it's like to be homeless, I want to be "homeless" for a week in each season.

She went to the hospital last night and went to jail tonight. She went to jail because she had a bench warrant which is from not going to court. She got a ticket for panhandling and she paid it off. When the court sent her the summons or whatever it's called for her hearing they sent it to an address she couldn't have possibly gotten it from. I don't know how the cops found her as a bench warrant isn't a really big deal and isn't a cause of concern for the police.

She told me she got arrested and asked me to write her and visit her. I'm going tomorrow to see what I can do.

Back to the whole funeral part, thinking my new found friend was dead almost made me cry. I don't know why someone who is so "insignificant"* could have such a huge impact on my life. I mean, I've seen God moving through me by helping her and I've seen how much I have, but I don't understand. Today her friend was taking her to a doctor's appointment, and the car ran out of gas and needed a jump. I helped them. My friend and I hugged for the first time since we met. I can't even begin to describe how the hugs we shared today felt or whatever. I'm still trying to process it, they didn't feel like "normal" hugs. They felt like the hugs I share with family.

My friend likes to cook and I told her she had free reign of our kitchen. Today on the phone before I helped her and her friend, she told me she got her food stamps worked out so she was going to cook for my roommates and I. It is just kind of scary to think that I don't know how long she will be in jail. But I know that God has got her covered and I know that she'll be alright. Prayers for my friend and I would amazing and appreciated.

*I say "insignificant" because to most people the homeless aren't a big deal to them. They have no need to worry about the homeless.

What About Guys?

2014-01-29T00:30:00.000-05:00

As a guy I find it incredibly frustrating that society has all these messages about how women should be treated. Don't get me wrong, women are wonderful and are honestly my favorite part about God's creation. However, I don't understand why there isn't much of anything I've found on how to treat men.

Most of what I've found are "cute" pictures and such posted on Facebook which are mostly about the "right guy." Which I guess is something, but still guys need to be treated right too. It's annoying to see women abuse their femininity to in essence put guys into this tiny box where the guy is basically a slave for lack of a better term.

Granted, men do treat women disrespectfully, but I don't think that's right for either gender to do that.

"And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything." - Ephesians 5:21-23

Submitting isn't obeying them without questioning, it's an idea of respecting someone else's authority and respecting someone esle.

"For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of his body." - Ephesians 5:25-30

Love is such an important thing and I honestly think both of these passages reflect how both men and women operate, but it's still super annoying to not see much in society on how to treat men.

A Lesson Being Taught

2013-12-17T21:51:00.000-05:00

Right now I have two roommates. One of them has Aspergers, so living with Joey is quite a change for me. Normally I would deal with conflict or someone being a butt by rushing in headlong and swinging. The only problem is that Joey can't handle conflict at all. I'm having to learn how to be up front while being tactful. I have to say I am a long ways away from learning this skill.

Roy, my other roommate is paid to teach Joey how to live on his own. With Joey in the apartment, it's teaching both of us how to be patient. It's also teaching me when my passive-aggressive is crossing a line and becoming vengeful. It makes me realize when and where it isn't okay to be passive-aggressive.

God is teaching Roy and I some pretty cool things through our friendship as well. I found this list and it was kind of scary to see that only one of the things really doesn't apply to us. That item would be the one about joint bank accounts, but we're learning that marriage/relationships is more about the other person than yourself. We're also both learning that relationships aren't wrapped up with sex. My therapist made a point about dating/marriage by saying, "you're basically with your best friend, sex is just a bonus." Which is super true. It's sad to see people get so wrapped up in the sexual side of relationships that they neglect what makes relationships work.

Real Men Wear Pink?

2013-11-30T00:46:00.001-05:00

I have been thinking long and hard about being mature in the sense of being an adult. I don't really remember how the thoughts came to me, but I decided I would write about it and then use Bible passages to back my thoughts up.

There is a distinct difference between being an adult and being a real "man" or a real "woman." Sure, age marks you as such, but really in most cases you're not really a "real adult."

To me being mature can be summed up in 14 (and probably more) ways:
1. Being Godly
2. Being responsible
3. Clean language
4. Sobriety
5. Seeking truth in things
6. Not acting rashly
7. Being wise
8. Not being proud
9. Having a sound mind
10. Having healthy relationships
11. Researching before an opinion is formed
12. Having integrity
13. Having mentors
14. Having people they mentor

All of this said, I know being a mature is a process and you won't get there until you're in Heaven. I say this because I see people who I would classify as mature doing failing to do some of the things on the list. Which just makes me think maturity is a journey.

I've also come to realize there is no quick or easy way to maturity, which stinks in some ways but also makes the journey so much better in other ways. I've found that I tend to treat objects a lot worse if someone gives it to me, or at least I tend to. There is some sort of pride that goes into earning what you have that comes with hard work. I don't understand why that is or how it works, but I know it does. This makes growing up so much more rewarding because you earned it.

It's funny how God rewards maturity. Once I moved out of my parent's house I abused my freedoms quite a bit. I ended up drinking way more than I should have, but God used that to let me realize that getting drunk isn't as fantastic as everyone says it is. Once I decided to not drink God started pouring blessings on me. It's really cool to know God respects our obedience. I don't even fully know how God made me grow as I can't really fully look at myself to see how mature I am and have an accurate reading of it.

God's been telling me I'll be a youth pastor for years and I had been shirking the calling because I didn't want to go to school and I thought being a youth pastor wouldn't let me reach the "broken" kids. "Broken" to me means the people that are often forgotten by others because they are considered "unlovable."

I was talking with one of my mentors about starting youth ministry and she directed me towards doing ministry with kids in Juvie. I love this idea! I've been praying and asking if this is where God wants me and if it is, that He would show me how to get there.

Last week God reopened my eyes to the calling I have for the homeless. I was driving and there was a homeless girl freezing outside God told me I was going to be helping her and so I did. I went out and bought a blanket, food, and some other stuff for her. I decided to keep blankets and other things in my car to help the homeless. I also decided I would leave a room for Mira where I live and Mira would always have a place in my house. Mira is the name of the girl I met last week since I didn't really explain that.

Most of my favorite people are the ones who aren't afraid to tell me what I need to hear instead of what I want to hear. They're the people I go to when I need help and when I need advice. It's also nice to just sit and talk to them about stuff. It's crazy how God also blesses it when you let people speak into your life.

I hope this helped with sharing where I'm at with maturity.

It's Been A Long While

2013-11-14T11:22:00.001-05:00

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to post anything, I was swamped by a bunch of stuff in life. I've decided to undertake the task of cleaning my blogs up and also only use one. I'm sorry if your favorite post goes missing.

Battle Cry

2012-05-04T22:00:00.004-04:00

This post will hopefully be fairly lengthy as I have so much on my mind. Lately fighting has been on my mind. I don't mean just physical fighting but also every other kind of fight. Since I stopped running Junior year, I've decided lately I want to start doing martial arts.

Especially pressing on my mind has been the idea of Spiritual warfare. I know it isn't something I need to worry about; so I don't. I only give demons a thought when they are messing with me or someone else. However, the idea of just messing up satan and being a warrior for Christ is what fascinates me. I wish I could find the words to fully express why I want this. Having faith in Christ is enough to cause satan and all his legions to mark me as an enemy.

I want to be that enemy. I want to be that man who everyone thinks of when they think of a Christian. I want to be the person who is willing to die for his faith. One of my favorite, and lengthy quotes, touches on this:

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is

much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,

nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable

creature, and has no chance of being free unless made or kept so by the

exertions of better men than himself."

-John Stuart Mill

This quote reminds me if I am unwilling to fight for freedom in any sense, I am not the best person I can be.

Daddy

2012-04-05T20:46:00.000-04:00

I know I said I was done with this blog, and I am in a way. I'm done with posting flowery diary stuff.

Tonight I went to Maundy-Thursday service at church. We celebrated the Seder Meal and my mind was blown. Every single expectation I had about God and tradition and everything else has been utterly wrecked. For the past couple days I have been wrestling with the idea of perception. Like, how do people see me? What do they think of when they look at me? Who decides what "truth" is?

What if the way we see "truth" is actually wrong? Take people with dyslexia for example, we say they see letters and words incorrectly. What if they are seeing them the right way? Who said, "they way the majority views stuff is right." Recently my family and I got into a fight about forgiveness. They say God won't forgive me until I forgive them. According to their logic I'm going to hell because I can't forgive them for the things they have done.

I disagree. I can't forgive until God forgives me. If what they think is right, then how would I know how to forgive? I wouldn't. What gives them the right to shut me down and tell me I'm wrong?

Now I feel like I can't talk with them about the things I enjoy to discuss. I could care less about most common conversations. I don't like to sit around and talk about the weather or whatever. I would much rather be up to my elbows in the muck of life. What can I do to fix this problem? How can I help other people? Those are the things I care about. Then there's of course the other conversations I have about say having my kid on the moon so they can rule the moon. It's silly, but those are the kinds of things I care about.

Lately I've been asking God to give me heart after His. I want to pray for other people as God would have me pray and serve them as God would have me serve. Daddy, I want to be like you.

Well Then

2012-02-10T08:52:00.000-05:00

I have a totally different blog that is specifically for updating and promoting my personal works. Check it out here.

Hell Hath No Fury At All

2011-12-31T14:17:00.000-05:00

Storm the Gates of Hell by Demon Hunter is the song I'm really meditating on right now. It's the song that wraps me up in a neat little package with a razor wire bow. I can't remember if I wrote about this already, but as a Christian we have two callings: to further the Kingdom of God and to fuck up satan's.

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder."

- James 2:19

You already have the victory. You have nothing to fear. Demons and satan can't touch you unless you directly let them or God gives them permission. In either case, God has got your back to the point where you don't have to worry.

By helping God's Kingdom you are tearing down satan's and vice versa. Building up God's realm is just as simple as loving. That's it.

I have to admit, I still care about Angie after I broke up with her, and I still love her. It's really rough on me, but I don't think I'll ever really get over caring or loving for her. It's just something I need to accept. It's really hard for me to let anything go.

It's one of my faults and another is how I treat myself. I let other people walk all over me and then I beat myself up after that by adding to their insults. Then I get upset about beating myself up and then I want other people to fix me.

I have a really big problem with not wanting to fix myself by myself. I guess I need help, but only to a certain point. *shrugs* I think I'm done.

Stand Up. Speak Out. Fight Back.

2011-12-02T20:29:00.000-05:00

Ot3P "Confrontation"

At what point should I stand up for myself? When is it acceptable to speak out? What about fighting back?

Never.

According to society we should never ever stand up, speak out, or fight back. It's disgusting how we are supposed to accept the "hand we are dealt." Yet, people who pursue the so called "American Dream" and rise above their lot.

Those people are praised, but I am shut down for trying to make my life better. How am I trying to do so? By following everyone's standards and trying to suck up the fact I am not happy.

My solution? I have none that would work. I want to talk with the people, but they don't listen, and then the conversation gets heated...

"Let us be known for the things we believe in, for the things we fight for and strive for."

-Ot3p

Sacrifice

2011-11-18T23:51:00.000-05:00

God put this idea on my heart a while ago and then I ran away from Him. Tonight I started getting the fellowship I need. God kind of put this idea BACK in my heart.

As a Christian we really only have two callings: further God's kingdom and screw up satan's. That's all there is to it.

How does one do both? I have two songs that will hopefully help clarify. "Sons of Thunder" and "The Finisher"

False Hope

2011-10-25T16:29:00.002-04:00

This post is going to seem backwards. Because it is backwards. I first saw this picture on a shirt freshman year. I wrote the poem that I am about to share around the end of junior year. I shared it with my friends who I knew would be honest with my work. They loved it.

My room is a mess and I find "lost" things in it quite often. Sometimes I will make an effort to find a certain "jewel." This poem was what I sought after. It took some ruffling through paper, but I found it.

My intention was to read it for my creative writing class. Neither the teacher nor the student teacher showed up. Instead, a community assistant was there. Nothing productive happened that day.

-Russian Roulette-

I slide a round into the chamber
Spin the chamber round and round
In a game of twisted fun
Cold steel feels smooth against my temple
The revolver clicks as I pull the hammer
Cocked and ready to fire
Slowly I pull the trigger
Sweat gleams on my furrowed brow
Blam the gun fires
Butterflies flutter from my skull

Running, Running Away

2011-09-20T16:51:00.002-04:00

Right now I am listening to "Run" by Kutless. Every time I listen to this song it brings remorse to my heart. It reminds me that I am the one who runs away from God, not the other way around. This simple truth is something that I need to be reminded of.

It's too easy to forget that God is there. I am constantly forgetting that. It's really amazing how people think of God and how many forget that God never leaves you.

My Disease

2011-09-06T19:01:00.002-04:00

I feel it coursing through me. It runs helter-skelter through my veins. I feel this, this sickness eating away at my very being. It consumes my heart corroding my being. My senses are heightened, my vision alert. I can't see clearly through this mist. Straining, straining, I attempt to view my goal. There is no crack in the sky, and there is no light at the end of the tunnel.

All I know is darkness. A darkness so sinister, so malicious that not even love can penetrate it. It's said, "love makes the world go round." To me "love makes the world stop."

I try to be a light that shines in the darkness. I try to fight the only fight worth fighting. The result? A mouth filled with teeth like daggers. The only noise that emanates from this mouth is guttural promises, promises to rip, no tear, no rend the very heart from your chest.

My throat has more maggots, more flies, and more disease than an open tomb. A long twisting appendage that used to be a tongue caresses my wormy lips. There is nothing left on my body that resembles flesh. All that remains is putrid gray hide with sickly green coursing through it.

I try to be something that people can look at, not because I'm beautiful, but because I'm an example. I tried so hard for so long to be that one positive person to my family. Instead I'm a diseased limb waiting to be chopped off.

Any attempt to be helpful, nice, or just charismatic was stabbed. Stabbed so many times that all that's left was a shattered, broken, bleeding being. A bloody pulp meant to be spat on, ridiculed, and scorned.

I'm told time and time again that there's more to this. Time and time again I'm reminded this "more" is pain. Others wonder why I am so secluded, so wrapped up in myself. They don't stop to ask why. They don't take the time to ask why. What caused this child to think, no play with unspeakable evil. What made this person hate so many things, to stop caring about almost everything.

Pain and fear create my disease.

My Attempt at Something Deep

2011-08-31T19:34:00.000-04:00

I just finished walking around downtown Ypsi singing worship. Right now, I'm sitting in my work while I'm not on the clock. I don't really have any reason to be down here, except for trying to make Angie feel better today.

I also, want to just relax as well. Anyways, while I was walking around singing I kind of had some of my awkward half thoughts floating around.

Here goes my attempt at writing something deep.

Open wounds take forever to heal. Those on your body, and in as well. I'm not talking about like crones, but more like heart wounds. I have a ton of open wounds in my heart. They have been sitting there, and honestly have been starting to fester.

Sound gross? Yeah, it is. I don't know how to explain it, but I have a ton of wounds that were created by people I love, and who profess they love me. Honestly, I don't know if they do. I have a really hard time with accepting love especially from those people.

Take God for example, He's supposed to be perfect and such, but I have a mega hard time accepting His love because of those people.

The biggest and earliest source of my distrust with love is from my parents. They physically, mentally, and emotionally hurt me. I don't want to delve into the hurts, because I don't want to reopen the wounds anymore than they already are. The physical stopped around 7th grade, but I still hurt. It will take way to long to fully fathom that my parents love me. I still don't believe it. I still blow off the "I love you" from my parents.

Another huge person who has influenced my ability to accept love is myself. I don't want to get into that too deeply as I don't really know what all I have done to hurt myself. That sounds funny, but most of my "spurts" of self abuse in every form are fuzzy. I realize I should love myself, but I have a hard time doing it. I have the capacity to love myself, but I find it really hard.

I really regret saying this, but Angie has been another person who has sown some wounds. Her wounds are the freshest, and well the most prone to infection. Stuff went down during the first month or so of our relationship. Those wounds are still oozing puss. It's really gross. She won't talk about the stuff, that caused these wounds, which makes them even more prone to festering.

I'm running out of steam. Perhaps there will be more later.

I Walk Alone

2011-08-03T02:58:00.000-04:00

So, sorry it's been so long. That out of the way, I guess the title is kind of depressing. It's kind of true though.

I am currently wrestling with God, and I am kind at a loss. I know this match will either make or break me, and frankly it's terrifying. Angie doesn't know how to help, and honestly she initiated most of these thoughts.

I feel so alone right now. I am NOT contemplating suicide, but I just don't know. I have this gift. It's called faith. It's such a blessing and a curse. It has saved me on more than one occasion, and I am pretty sure it will save me again.

The curse is it saving me. I have wanted so desperately to fall away from God. I can't do it. I can't. Something keeps pulling me back, and I hate it. There is this one quote from one of my favorite movies. It pretty much goes like, "don't you believe in God?" "Yeah, he's the biggest asshole ever."

That's how I feel. My spiritual highs are so amazingly high, and my lows are so low. I know that is an extremely crappy description but it's the best I can muster. One second I'm in love with God and the next I hate the guy.

I can't explain my spiritual bi-polarness. I can however explain why this low happened. I guess it has a ton to do with Angie. I can't really get into the specifics, but us being together has been one of the most painful things in my life.

It's one of those things that is slowly leeching away at you, but really is creating a new and better person. Angie makes me think about why people change. Why people don't think. I don't know it's crazy.

Right now, if you could please pray for me and my fight with God that would be great.

The Great Expectation

2011-07-24T01:30:00.000-04:00

I was reading my Bible tonight, when this passage struck me. Mark 7: 24-30 really shocks me. I know that demons and even satan MUST flee when the name of Jesus is declared, but with this passage God's name isn't said.

Why did the demon leave? Of course! Jesus has enough faith to expect the demons should flee, and flee they did. It's so amazing when you think about it. You don't have to utter God's name to see healing, and demons cast out. It sure helps though.

I just think it's really neat how demons listen to our expectations. It takes a ton of faith, that I frankly don't have yet. I would love to have this faith, so God please grant me this faith.

Another thing that I have been wrestling with lately is the whole idea of furthering the Kingdom. What exactly is the Kingdom? It's wherever God's will is being carried out. It may not seem like it but running around with other Christians is furthering the Kingdom.

How? We are having fellowship, it's really cool how the most random things are spreading God's will. I wish I knew more about God's will... I guess that's where I should practice my discernment more.

Revenge I Seek...

2011-07-11T01:53:00.000-04:00

I don't really have a premise for this post, I guess I just need to vent a bit.

^"1 How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
   How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
   and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
   How long will my enemy triumph over me?
³ Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
   Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
   and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
   my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the LORD’s praise,
   for he has been good to me."
-Psalm 13

This was the first Psalm that I opened up to. It's really cool because it's short sweet and to the point. There are Psalms that go on for way longer and say the exact same thing. I think that's pretty nifty how the Psalmist just sums it all up here.

All of that out of the way, God has been really good to me lately. Which is totally awesome because I know that I have been having problems with believing that God loves me.

Some good news, You Are Loved has decided to become a ministry, which means that we will be telling people about God as well as telling them they shouldn't be self destructive. That said, I think it's really important for people to know that they are indeed loved.

This is Our Worship, Goreship

2011-07-08T00:27:00.000-04:00

Worship is a very odd thing, as it doesn't really matter what your actions are, it matters what your intent is. That said, I have been dabbling with the occult. Not really big news to most people if you really think about it. I have been playing with the Spiritual fire, demons.

If you have any sense heed my words: DON'T DO IT!

It's the one of the most stupidest and hurtful things you can do. I don't suggest it to anyone. By my entertaining demons I have been worshiping satan and thus I have been messing around with well, the most effed up entity ever.

That said, I would like to proclaim that God has bigger, better plans for me. I can't wait to start kicking the demons out of my life. I can't wait to start caring about everything again.

So, yes, I am starting to worship God fully again. That means doing work. It's gonna suck, but it's gonna be freaking awesome! I am going to be asking for patience to endure all the crap satan will throw at me, and the wisdom to know what's right to do. Lastly I need to ask for the conviction to do those hard things.

I would like to end this by saying the title is from a song called "Silence the Oppressors" by Impending Doom. "Goreship" is the worship of God.

Another Poem

2011-07-06T23:59:00.000-04:00

-Hopeless Abandon-

Screaming I cry Your name

I can't live move breath

Without You holding me

I've moved away in rebellion

Only to fall on my face again

Screaming I cry Your name

A perfect portrait

Now stained with innocent blood

Impossibly to clean

Ruined memoires

Screaming I cry Your name

Until my lungs give way

I just wrote that poem. It's pretty much my way of saying so many different things all wrapped into one giant thing.

First and foremost, it's my way of saying "I'm lost, and I don't know where to go, so I cry out to God." The lines about not being able to live and such are pretty much me just saying "I can't function without God, and I have been trying to."

Let me say from experience, it sucks, to be without God.

The next stanza is pretty much just me complaining about some stuff gone wrong in my life.

Bated Breath...

2011-06-12T22:25:00.000-04:00

-Breath In Breath Out-
Y-H-W-H
The sound of breath
A cry for help
Inhale
Exhale
Breath in and out
Y-H-W-H
Move by the Spirit
Inside of you

I wrote this in church today, after watching a Nooma about breathing. It was really nifty, because the Jews believe that God's name is so divine that we can't say it. They think that the name of God is the sound of breathing. If you take the letters of God's name Y-H-W-H it IS the sound of breathing!!

I think that's the coolest thing. There is also this really awesome song Breathe Into Me is a song that kind of relates to the whole thing. It's about breathing in God, which is TOTALLY RAD!

It's really nifty because the whole idea of breathing is like calling out the name of the living God. Note, I said LIVING GOD. Living = breathing right? In my mind it does.

Operation Job Hunt

2011-05-18T20:33:00.000-04:00

I wish I knew how to type out the "shotgun racking" noise. Either way, I'm looking for jobs. I found a possible job at a coffee shop in downtown Ypsilanti. Angie works there so getting rides will be easy. That said, I still need to get the job. I turned in my application a while ago, and hopefully I will get the job.

If B-24's fails I don't know where else to look. If you have any suggestions that are serious please let me know.

Now onto Bible things! I have ideas, but I don't really know how to construe them. I would like to talk about prayer, but talking about prayer is kind of a strange thing.

I try to split my prayer up into four different parts: A.C.T.S.

Affirmation: It's basically showering God with good things. Kind of like when someone says, "Thanks for being awesome!" I totally hate affirming God because I see my attempts to glorify Him as futile as trying to throw a rock around the world; in one throw. Impossible.

Confession: That's admitting your sins. Pretty straightforward. I also try to forgive people for stuff they have done against me as well.

Thanksgiving: Just giving thanks to God for everything. Nuff said.

Supplication: That would be asking for things.

Light and Dark, Good and Evil

2011-05-04T02:11:00.000-04:00

There are so many Bible passages I can think of that reflect the way my life has been going down. I am going to pick a sort of long passage, but a REALLY good one.

"It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own bodyin a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life."
- 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-8

Sex, sex, sex that's what I want to write about. So I know this girl who did some stuff with other guys a long time ago. I also know a girl who is starting down that slippery slope right now. I want to write this to show just how messed up sin is, and how much it changes peoples' lives.

I will talk about the first example first. So, this girl I know did stuff with multiple guys I know. This girl is in a relationship with someone else I know, and the guy she is dating knows the guys that she did this stuff with.

Let's say that the girl wasn't honest about what she did and I watched their relationship fall apart because of the dishonesty. My friend, who was apart of the earlier scandal, and I were talking about how his actions were used by satan to really mess with this girl and her boyfriend's lives.

God uses everything for His good. Satan does the same except it's to seriously screw with EVERYONE!

Lesson to be learned? Don't mess around with sex before you are married.

I don't really have much to say about the second girl, except for you should really take a second look at your life, and CUT THE CRAP OUT!!

Peace out cub scout

Take Up Your Cross

2011-02-17T22:25:00.000-05:00

"Then he said to them all: 'Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.'"
Luke 9:23

Dying to self is a very interesting topic to me. I have always been fascinated by the thought of "dying to myself." I have always wanted to die in a "noble fashion." To me that would be in a battle fending off lots of bad guys. Inside I hope that never happens and I hope that I instead die in a quick way. Honestly, the idea of "dying to oneself" is a very confusing thing.

When I think of "taking up one's cross" I think of literally carrying a cross. The Biblical standpoint behind it isn't that far off. It actually means that one has to carry all of their issues, addictions, habits, or whatever on a cross and give it up. When Jesus was carrying His cross it was symbolic of Him bearing ALL of EVERYONE'S sins. Which, is really cool.

Taking your cross up is dying to self because it is saying that "I am going to crucify the bad things about me."

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship."
Romans 12:1

What is worship, but honoring God? Not much. Thus, this verse is really cool because it's saying "hey, you should present yourself as a living sacrifice because this is the best freaking way to worship!" Sure, singing worship songs is awesome, but pretty much everyone can do it. Not everyone has the guts to present themselves as a living sacrifice.

My challenge for you is not only take your cross up and follow God, but also present yourself as that living sacrifice. There is this really cool link that someone showed me that I would like to in turn share with you.
Dying To Self

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God

2011-01-19T22:25:00.000-05:00

"Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help."
Psalm 22:11

I would use the rest of Psalm 22, but that would be 31 verses of pure depression. Which, explains why it is one of my favorite Psalms. I can relate.

Most of the time I feel like a worm and not a man; it is also pretty common for me to feel like God has just walked out on me. Of course He hasn't but that's where this verse comes in.

I really need to learn to start trusting people including God, my family, and my girlfriend. God, put people in my life to tell me to change how I live. The nagging has gotten really annoying.

I am the kind of person who needs to be shown how to do something. I can't be told "do better in school" and then left with that. Do better how? Oh yeah, work harder... I think I'm working as hard as I can under the current situation.

It feels a lot like the people around me who are trying to help are actually harming. They nag and nag which adds pressure and stress to me. I can't function with at least four people breathing down my back telling me what to do...

God, please hear my cry for help of "Oh God, Oh God, Oh God" Amen