Jesus Needs New PR--Author Matthew Paul Turner

adventures in becoming a father (over-sharing)

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 02:53:00 +0000

This post is PG-13, so if you're prudish or under 16 or Baptist---look away.

So Jessica and I visited our midwife today. OK, so I LOVE all of the midwives that work here in Nashville. Emma is our regular midwife and she is my favorite. She's cynical about life--like me. And we get along perfectly. She has this great story about a childhood friend paying her one dollar every Sunday to go church with her.

"Did you go?" I asked.

"Every Sunday! I needed the money," she said. "But finally, I got tired of being told I was going to Hell, so the money ended up not being worth it. I eventually told her that she could keep her dollar!"

But we didn't see Emma today because she was busy delivering babies.

Today, Jessica and I saw the midwife Linda--she's great too. (FYI: if you're not a regular reader of my blog, you should know that my wife is 38-weeks pregnant and showing a few signs that the end (or the beginning) is getting close.

When Linda walked in, I was sitting in the chair next to the bed where Jessica is resting. "Help me up!" she said, looking uncomfortably at me. As I help her up, I'm thinking to myself: I can't get used to seeing my wife look this uncomfortable. Please, God, make this baby come a little early!

Seriously, friends, it's like my wife's lugging around a suitcase, the kind that Southwest won't let you check without paying an extra $20. (You know what I mean?) I so want to carry the suitcase--maybe stand in front of her and walk backwards with my hands under her belly--but I can't.

So anyway, there she is on the bed holding a big load of extra baggage and looking uncomfortable.

"You're looking good, Jessica!" says Linda "checking" my wife. "You could go at any time. It seems to me that you guys are doing your jobs! You two must be having lots of ...."

OK, that's when Linda said three words (long words, like three or four syllables each). I couldn't pronounce these words. I don't know how to spell them so I can't even google them to learn how to pronounce them. They were words I had never heard in my life. I looked at Jessica who of course knew exactly what they meant.

"Yes, we've been having sex," says Jessica. My wife knows everything there is to know about giving birth. She's like the Dalai Lama of childbearing. (I realize that makes no sense, but at 11:09 in the evening it seems really funny to me.)

Anyway, I think to myself, those three long words mean sex? Come on, I know every slang term for sex and I've never heard these words. Which of course, probably means the words are "medical" in nature. Nevertheless, they didn't sound like sex; they sounded like procedure of some kind, one that would require rubber gloves and a mask. And maybe a torch for welding. But not sex.

"Oh, I know you've been having sex, girl," said the midwife, "I can tell. You should be having (she drops those three big words again) everyday!"--she looks at me and smiles like I should get up and put the moves on my wife right there--"That will help get this little guy out."

Then Jessica looks at me and says, "See? I told you we should be doing it every day!"

And then the midwife looks at me and shakes her head in agreement with my wife.

You probably believe I should be jumping up and down at this point, right? Sex! Sex! Sex! I mean, it's every person's dream to be prescribed sexual activity by a medical professional, right? Maybe on some occasions.

Don't get me wrong, I like the role that I get to play in helping little Elias come into the world. It's sex. It started with sex. And apparently it ends with sex too. You think to yourself, Wow, God is cool to put so much sex into this gig of giving birth, right? I'm not so sure. Doesn't God remember that my wife is nine-months pregnant? I mean, can't he see that the poor thing can hardly get up off the couch to get into the bedroom at this point? Apparently, he doesn't pay much attention to what goes on in our living room every time she has to get up off the couch to pee or when she goes to bed. If he did, he'd know that the last thing in the world that she should want right then is sex.

Here's what happens... She looks at me and rolls her eyes. "Well, I guess I should get to bed; I'm tired." And then she feels her belly and pushes at it from one side as she moans and rolls over onto her side. And then she rolls her eyes again at me as she props her little hand against the sofa's arm rest and pushes herself into the seated position. (Meanwhile, I'm usually watching her do this from the other couch--eating popcorn--wanting to help, but not sure how.) And then she uses both hands to lift herself up into standing position. The whole ordeal takes like three or four minutes give or take an hour. It's excruciating to watch. And again, I'm the one eating popcorn.

As soon as Jessica has made the first step toward the bedroom, she looks at me and says, "OK, let's go have sex."

"Have sex? Now? Really? You can barely walk! I'll kill you or something."

"I know," she says to me, "But I want this kid out of here. So the pain is worth it."

Oh great, that gets me in the mood for sure. "Are you sure?"

"YES! Come on."

So we go have sex. And it feels good, but in an illegal sort of way. Like I should run away and hide from the cops afterward.

Anyway, there's no point to this story whatsoever. I just thought I'd over share my adventures in becoming a father... oh, and forgive the grammatical errors... it's late and I don't feel like editing myself. :-)

christian-ish t-shirts...

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:28:00 +0000

These are from Lark News!

calling my therapist...

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 20:29:00 +0000

Facebook is down.

is your church safe?

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:43:00 +0000

Yesterday one of the associate pastors (Pastor Tom) said this: "Confession always begins in a safe place and leads us to freedom." Those weren't his exact words. But that's the gist of the quote.

Can I admit something? It might shock a few of you. Heck, it might even disappoint one or two of you. But here it goes...

I really like my church.

Seriously, I like it. If you knew me, you'd appreciate that sentiment a lot more. I don't say those words lightly. But it's true: I like my church. For the first time in I don't know how long, I look forward to Sunday mornings. And when I'm not able to be there, I feel like I miss something.

(A part of me doesn't believe I just wrote that.)

It's not because Cross Point is perfect. Because it's not. Far from it. There are things about it that actually annoy the hell out of me. But I won't list them here. (Read churched when it releases.)

But one of the reasons I like my church is because it's a safe place. Or it's attempting to be a safe place. Maybe it's not entirely safe. I mean, I'm sure somebody who goes to church there finds it unsafe or whatever. But still, that's it goal--to be a place where people can be real. Now, I don't mean "safe," as in fear-filled and protective, but safe as in "you can be you without fearing judgment or condemnation."

Sick people come to my church. And when I first started attending, I'll be honest, I was prideful in thinking that I wasn't one of them, that somehow I was better than all of them. (It's embarrassing to even admit that, but it's true.) There was a part of me who couldn't or didn't want to identify with the idea of being "sick." Not because I was well or even close to it, but because I pretended to be well. Since I was a little boy, I have gone to the kinds of churches where I was taught how to pretend NOT to be sick. At those churches I didn't really need Jesus; I needed acting lessons.

Recently, a few people at my church have gotten to know me. The real me. The "me" that only a few people in the world know. The "me" that is sick and is beginning to recognize my real need for the gospel. The "me" that is prideful and broken and cynical and dirty. The "me" that has acted like a Christian his entire life.

But here's the thing... Even after knowing "me," not once has anybody made me feel unsafe or insecure or unworthy. (It sounds almost weird, doesn't it? It does to me.) But it's for that reason, I can confess to being who I am without fear and condemnation.

And that's like an I.V. for somebody who is sick.

(Sorry. Cheesy line, I know. But you'll live.)

I don't write this post to gloat. I just write it because I'm thankful.

brooke fraser

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:28:00 +0000

Please buy Brooke Fraser's album... only $5.99 on iTunes... her songs are insightful and fresh...

stephen baldwin speaks on behalf of celebrities...

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 18:20:00 +0000

Uh, is Stephen Baldwin a "real" celebrity? I mean, he wrote the foreword to my first book. Well, he "wrote" the foreword if you know what I mean... and I think you do.

But that might make him just a little low on the celebrity totem pole... I have his cell phone number. If I have access to your cell phone number, you're not a celebrity...

But anyway, here's a clip of Baldwin on Fox News telling America that he is a McCain supporter! And that other celebrities--such as Wilford Brimley (the Quaker Oatmeal guy and the old-people life insurance spokesperson) are on board too!

I know, I know... there are others... like Sylvester Stallone! Rambo is pretty good fit for McCain, don't you think?

Watch the video here.

god's pottery

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 02:30:00 +0000

You might have seen these guys on Last Comic Standing. Their name is an obvious reference to either God's Property or Jars of Clay... what are your thoughts?

into the wild

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 03:39:00 +0000

Please see this movie. I was so moved by the story.

pop-cultural ditties you should know about!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 20:40:00 +0000

Anybody remember Christian pop singer Sarah Sadler? Her self-titled debut released in 2003 on Essential Records. (If I remember correctly, I think she also landed a song on a movie soundtrack or two--maybe Daredevil? Yeah, awful movie, I know.) But anyway, Sarah is back with a new album called Where It Started.

The only place you can get her new set is at CDBaby.com. Click here to listen to song samples!

I saw this item on The Today Show. Some dude had sex with his wife for 101 days in a row and then wrote a book about it. How's that for research? If you'd like to find out more about Just Do It, click here...

All I know is that, after 101 days of sex, there is no way a bedspread would look that white. Yep, I said it.

And you know it's true.

Those who have seen The Dark Knight are saying that Heath Ledger's performance of The Joker is brilliant. I can't wait to see this movie! But it's also a little bittersweet when I realize it will be the last time I get the pleasure of seeing Heath Ledger on the big screen.

The following has nothing to do with pop culture--I just thought it was cute. This is a video of my pastor's middle child Gage showing us his dance moves. He even gets his daddy to break out into what he calls the "Bow Chica Wow Wow."

Gage does the "Bow Chica Wow Wow" dance. from Pete Wilson on Vimeo.

So cute.

a picture of my son!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 19:00:00 +0000

No, he hasn't been born yet! :-)

Unexpectedly, Jessica and I had to visit Nashville's Women's Imaging Center this morning. On her blog, she explains why...

We have been monitoring my blood pressure regularly because my swelling is a sign of pregnancy induced hypertension. Well, last night my bp was a little higher than it should be, so this morning I had to go in for a bunch of tests. Nothing too alarming, but I do have to be under a close watch in the days ahead. One of the tests I had to have was to go have an ultrasound done to make sure all of Elias' vitals were good, blood flow was good, etc. Everything was great! He was moving a lot, I have a lot of amniotic fluid, blood flow to the placenta and cord was good, etc. They estimate his weight to be about 7 lbs. 7 oz right now - give or take a pound. I was most excited to get to see him again and get some new pictures. He wouldn't move his arm from his face, so below is the best one we got of his little face. In another image, we could also see that his little head has hair on it. He is one cute baby. Can't wait to kiss those chipmunk cheeks!

Anyway, here's the ultrasound picture. Crazy what they can do now, huh? Unbelievable. That's my boy!

flower power!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 13:46:00 +0000

I bought some potted plants for the deck of my condo this summer, a few cheap ones. But every morning, when I go out to give them water, they make me smile. They're alive.

And remind me to be that way too.

churched (an update!)

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:48:00 +0000

Howdy! (I have no idea why I just wrote howdy, but you know what I mean. I guess you do.)

OK, so here's a little update on the happenings surrounding churched: one kid's journey toward god despite a holy mess.

You might know this, but the official release date for churched is October 7! So mark your calendars! I'm gonna need your help getting the word out! Of course, only if you're willing or desire to get the word out. Some of you secretly hate me, I know. And honestly, I'm cool with that! (OK, my editor at WaterBrook says I use way too many exclamation points!!!! So I'm going to try and write the rest of this post without them. I'm not sure I can do it. I sort of wanted to put one at the end of that last sentence.) While I don't endorse the concept of hate as an idea, I don't mind my blog readers feeling a little toward me once in a while. We're cool. Promise.

OK, back to the update. (This post is going to need pictures to make it worth reading.) So I'm currently reading through the last and final edit of churched. This is an easy edit, one that I read out loud. I'm not looking to change much, just looking for any awkward phrasings or typos.

But as I read through this final edit, I can't tell you how excited I am for you to be able to read it. Am I allowed to say that I'm proud of this book? Because I am. Not in a haughty way, at least I hope it's not in a haughty way. It just feels right, if that makes sense. Now, that's not to say I haven't been proud of my other books. I have. But this one's different for some reason. As I've eluded here before, churched took so much out of me (Ask my wife--it took a lot out of her too, as well as a couple of my friends...) I guess in some ways this book feels like it's a part of me. Again, I know that sounds stupid, but in many ways that feels true. I put a great deal of emotion into this book, and I'm praying that people "see" that.

So, as I'm working on the last edit of churched, the "pseudo-edited version" is being read by people who are considering writing an endorsement for it. I've actually received three endorsements already. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to tell you who they are just yet. But when I get the "OK" from my publisher, I'll be sure to let you know. (Almost put a big ole exclamation point right there.) But so far, everybody who's read it seems to like it/love it. One of the endorsers told me today that the book is "making him think/rethink how he should teach his kids about faith and God..." While this book is my story, many of those who have read it say they can see their own story in churched. That's always a huge compliment.

I believe in the next couple days a bunch of media will be receiving it. And the crazy thing is, we're sending it to all of the major media for review/profile consideration. Some of the media outlets I know are LONG shots, but WaterBrook/Random House believes it has a shot at getting some decent coverage. I guess only time will tell.

And too, retail is responding to the book, which is a huge relief. And the cool thing is, both Christian and mainstream stores seem to be excited about it.

Also, if you live in Nashville, put October 14 down on your calendars. On that date I'll be doing a book signing at Davis-Kidd. It starts at 7:00 with a 20-minute reading and then I'll be signing for however long it takes. SO EXCITED. (So very tempted.) Even before I was a writer, Davis-Kidd was one of my favorite bookstores in the world.

OK, I feel like this post sounds really self-serving, so I should stop. Forgive me if it comes across that way. I'm just excited about this book, that's all...

As the release date gets closer, I'll keep you posted as to what happens and how (if you want to) can help spread the word...

Got any ideas? Pass them on.

Peace, MPT

PS: Oh, and if you're a Relevant Magazine subscriber, make sure you look for the Hokey Pokey ad in the current edition! (Yeah, I failed. Oh well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

watch the whole thing

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 21:15:00 +0000

true wireless?

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 02:52:00 +0000

james dobson poo-poos on obama

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:54:00 +0000

Most of you have probably heard this, and it was bound to happen, but Dobson doesn't like Obama.

Anybody shocked by this information?

joy, emotions, and me rambling...

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 14:00:00 +0000

Several people at my church (including a couple of my church's pastors) have become huge fans of Henri Nouwen's writings. And I can certainly see why. Here are a couple of his quotes that I think are pretty inspiring, ones that have sort of pushed me out of my current comfort zone lately. I thought I'd share...

(My thoughts in red/Henri Nouwen's quote in black.)

First quotation...

"Our emotional lives move up and down constantly. Sometimes we experience great mood swings: from excitement to depression, from joy to sorrow, from inner harmony to inner chaos."

I relate to those words so much right now. With Elias on the way, my heart is filled joy and excitement and some fear. Other happenings in my life right now have caused me to feel a good deal of anxiety and sadness... balancing those two realities has been exhausting and emotionally draining.

"A little event, a word from someone, a disappointment in work, many things can trigger such mood swings. Mostly we have little control over these changes. It seems that they happen to us rather than being created by us."

For me, it's both. While some of the craziness of life just happens and I have no control over it, I am also quite aware that I create drama. Ever since I was little, I've been the kind of person who feels everything. Very little in life just hits me on the surface, most of it buries itself in my heart and soul and becomes a part of who I am in some ways. I'll be honest, I don't love easily, but when I do, it is deep and passionate and can be messy sometimes. Hence, the drama...

"Thus it is important to know that our emotional life is not the same as our spiritual life. Our spiritual life is the life of the Spirit of God within us. As we feel our emotions shift we must connect our spirits with the Spirit of God and remind ourselves that what we feel is not who we are. We are and remain, whatever our moods, God's beloved children.

Isn't this a fantastic thought? And sometimes I believe it's true, that I am fully loved by God no matter what my emotions are doing in the moment. But too often, I can't "feel" it, and it's so easy for me to allow that reality speak with more volume in my life than the truth that God loves me. I'm too often a contradiction.

Second quotation...

"Joy is what makes life worth living, but for many joy seems hard to find. They complain that their lives are sorrowful and depressing. What then brings the joy we so much desire? Are some people just lucky, while others have run out of luck? Strange as it may sound, we can choose joy."

Can we choose joy? And if so, what does that look like? That's what I want to know. Is it as easy as simply waking up in the morning and saying to yourself and to God, "I choose to be joyful today." I guess that's what the Apostle Paul believed; didn't he suggest that he was filled will joy in whatever state he was in? Personally, I believe that I have for too long believed that joy is merely an emotion (like happiness), but it can't simply be that. And when I was a kid, I was taught that JOY had a formula: Jesus first, others second, and yourself last. But really, can it be that simple? Really? And if so, how do you know when those things are in order. I can't SEE Jesus, putting others in front of yourself can sometimes backfire and hurt like hell, and keeping yourself last seems impossible at times. So I confess, joy eludes me much of the time. Oh, I'm happy some of the time, but I'm far too often not joyful.

"Two people can be part of the same event, but one may choose to live it quite differently than the other. One may choose to trust that what happened, painful as it may be, holds a promise. The other may choose despair and be destroyed by it. What makes us human is precisely this freedom of choice."

Choosing to believe and hope regardless of my circumstances is what I truly desire. I'm not fully there yet, and I don't even know what being "fully there" means at the moment... but today, in this moment, I choose to be on the path, to believe that hope exists and that by believing in that joy will come (maybe in the morning).

Forgive me if this post rambles... peace to you this day...

our baby's room....

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 13:45:00 +0000

My wife gets all of the credit. I just helped.

actual comments/emails re: my billboard post

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 15:35:00 +0000

Three of my readers are mad at me about yesterday's post.

One of my readers wrote this to me, "Mr. Turner, I got saved because of a church's billboard!"

And a woman wrote this to me, "Don't you have anything better to do than to sit around and make unfunny "humor" about the way a church advertises? Aren't you the least bit concerned that people are dying and going to Hell and you're busy busting on the very billboards that could help them find their way toward Heaven?"

And then this morning I read this comment: "Are you a proclaimed Christian.. CAN'T tell from your blog..."

I haven't responded yet. But I did ask Jesus to come into my blog this morning, so hopefully that will help.

keywords?

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 13:46:00 +0000

Hello blog friend.

So do you use Google Analytics to keep track of your blog's visitor statistics? Well, if you do (or perhaps you use another blog stat program) then perhaps you're familiar with the "keyword" listing. Just in case you're not, the keyword list lets you know what words or series of words people Google to find your site.

Well, my blogger friend Dave Carrol has gotten me checking often to see what words people search to find my bloggy. Some of the "searches" are a little funny or odd. I thought I'd list a few of them for you...

"I regret having sex" (Wait a minute, you mean to tell me there was an unmarried non-virgin looking around on my site?)

"African masturbation" (Do they do it differently over there?)

"boobs in the Bible" (I think they were called pomegranates or pineapples or something big and fruit-like)

"death of author" (OK, so hopefully whoever searched this wasn't looking for a 'how to')

"does Donald Miller smoke?" (This search cracks me up. For the record, I don't think he does. But who really cares?)

"is mastur baiting a sin" (Yes, there was a space in 'masturbating.' Gosh, a lot of my readers are interested in masturbation. Haha.)

"my thong" (Hmm. Lose something?)

church billboards rock!

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:59:00 +0000

Ain't this a nice billboard? I mean, that church was lucky enough to get a snapshot of the hands of God aimlessly grabbing for two floating letters. Lucky ducks. I can only assume that God must really love the letter G. I know, I know--his name begins with G. Duh. That's probably why he's grabbing for them.

And I think the pastors look like very nice people. Actually, I think she looks like Diana Ross, which might be reason enough to visit their church. If I'm ever in Ohio, Ms. Ross, I'll be sure to attend! Will you sing Umbrella for me if I do?

Ooh, and how about this little gem?

I love this one! The motto is so darn cute: don't do life alone. So welcoming. So positive. So convincing! After seeing this billboard, I wouldn't even think about doing life alone. I mean, how could I consider such a thing when, by the looks of it, I could be going to this church and doing life with the cast members of Queer As Folk!

Ch-ching.

Yay!! I'm there. Seriously, I am. I don't know where Kal-Haven is located, but I'm looking it up on Google Maps right now.

Oh wait, is that an advertisement for Tide?

Moving right along...

Trust me: This is a church billboard. I know what you're thinking though. You thought this was a billboard advertising Sinead O'connor's new album. I DID TOO!

Nope! It's a church! Look it up.

Apparently, wherever this church is located, they have a high population of twelve-year-old boys working and looking up porn during office hours.

And doesn't that kid in the picture play guitar in the David Crowder Band?

I could be wrong. But I'm pretty sure I saw that kid at Passion.

Sheesh. I'm torn. Do I go to Racers? Or should I go to Dallasburg Baptist Church? They both look a little um, run down.

I'm not really tempted to fix my eyes on the woman sucking on her pointer finger. Are you?

SIDE NOTE: OK, so I have one question: For all you old-time Christian music fans. Think back for a moment--way back! Further. Here's my question: What is Kathy Troccoli doing working at Racers?

Wow. Everything does change, huh? OK, that was bad. (As in cheesy.)

Look again. There's some arms. Hands. A chest. And a "screw head."

PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE, go to the web site and check out the entire "screw head" family. Oh yeah, a Mr. and Mrs. "Screw Head" apparently um, screwed and had babies! And truthfully, the younger "screw heads" are cuties. And obviously ornery!

Anybody up for getting unscrewed?

Well, then, maybe it should start.

(Ooh, I'm gonna get emails about this one. My mom will probably complain to me over the phone. I'm not lying. She took me off her blog roll because she didn't want my blog to lead any of the women in her Bible study astray. Not kidding. That's the truth. Heck, my pastor might even call me and give me a piece of his mind. Or maybe he'll show his dismay by NOT commenting on my blog. I don't know, maybe I should just visit UnScrewMyLife.com again. I'm going to Hell. But admit it, you laughed. Or at least grinned.)

They kill people instead.

You know that a whole bunch of fat people go to Discovery Church. This billboard is to help make them feel better.

If I were to visit Discovery Church, I would definitely arrive all sweaty, like I had just run a marathon. Or I would come all dressed up in my roller-blading garb, like immediately after church I was going to be doing some MAJOR roller blading! Yeah. Roller blading is manly. Think about it: Who roller blades anymore?

Oh, wait, is the guy in the picture throwing horse shoes? OH!!! That makes sense. Because if he is throwing horse shoes, that is nothing new, my father did that at my old church all the time.

The NEW me--a horse shoe thrower! Yes.

PLEASE NOTE: This is a different church than the other one who told us not to do life alone. But apparently all of the same people go to this church too! And I don't know why, but I think I life this church better. Yeah, I know the people look exactly alike. But I still sort of want to visit this church.

Look at the billboard--if the church is anything like the picture, it would be similar to shopping at Kohls. And I like Kohls. Not as much as Target. Or Macys. But I do like Kohls.

Actually, I'm not sure I would be allowed to go to LifePointeChurch--it looks like only cheerleaders are allowed to attend.

Give me an L!

Ugh. Nothing more lame and non-convincing than the ole "Satan quote" ad. But apparently LifeChurch.tv didn't get the memo. And furthermore, rather than knowing that their behind the times, they probably have convinced themselves that they started a trend, a trend of quoting Satan on church billboards.

All I know is I found a ton of church billboards with various Satan quotations about a bunch of churches spread out across the country.

Oh Please. Like Satan said those exact words. Or said anything at all. I wonder if Craig got that quote from Satan personally. Would have loved to have been there.

For once, I agree with um, Satan, let's boycott!!

Go ahead and read Satan's billboard message backwards and see what happens. Do it. Seriously, you should do it. It's CRAZY.

OK... fine... this is what it says...

"Vt.hcruhCefiL Ttocyob"

You're feeling guilty now, aren't you? Or are you feeling tempted? Hmm. Hard to distinguish, huh?

Hope Satan hates your church too. Happy Sunday.

nt wright on 'the colbert report'

noreply@blogger.com (Matthew Paul Turner) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:43:00 +0000

This was a pop-cultural orgasm for me.