JewPsy

A Poem for the Lost

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 18:04:00 +0000

The vicious slayings in Har Nof this week have left me very shaken, as they have many of us. I had a personal connection with Rabbi Kalman Levine, and Rabbi Moshe Twersky was my rebbe's brother. Everything about this tragic incident raises questions and touches nerves in a way that other attacks have not (at least so is the case for me). The way that these men had sacrificed to move to Israel, the fact that among them were tremendous talmidei chachamim (Torah scholars) who were known for their personal and spiritual character. The way they were killed in a shul, while they prayed, and in such barbaric fashion. o.

The image of the arm of one of the murdered, still wrapped in tefillin straps recalls the verse from Isaiah that men say when finishing to wrap their tefillin: n
וארשתיך לי לעולם וארשתיך לי בצדק ובמשפט ובחסד וברחמים וארשתיך לי באמונה וידעת את השם
In G-d's voice- And I will bind you to me for eternity. And I will bind you to me with justice and order. And I will bind you to me with faith, and you will intimately know G-d. d

To work some of this out for myself, I wrote this poem. Maybe it will resonate with some others, as wello

וילכו להם

וילכו להם בניך

ממולדתם ומבית אביהם הלכו להם

אל הארץ אשר הוֹרַשתָם הלכו להם

בתמימות לפניך הלכו להם

על דרכך אשר שמרו לעשות צדקה ומשפט הלכו להם

ואשר עליו ציווּ את בניהם ואת בֵּיתם אחריהם הלכו להם

וישכמו בבוקר בניך

ויאמרו אל נעריהם ואל נשיהם שבו לכם פה

ואנו נלך עד כה ונשתחוה ונשובה
אליכם והלכו להם

ואל המקום אשר עמדו שם את פני ה׳
על אחד ההרים הלכו להם

ויקראו בשם ה׳

וישאו בניך את עיניהם ויראו

והנה שני אנשים

נצבים עליהם בפתח האוהל

ויקחו האנשים בידיהם האש והמאכלת

וירוצו
האנשים
אל בניך

ויעמדו בניך
כאילים
נאחזים

בּסְבַך בקרניהם

ויפלו על פניהם

ויאמרו אליך

”אבינו!“
כי יראי א-לקים הם

ולא חשכת את בניך אשר אהבת מהם

וישלחו האנשים את ידיהם

ויקחו את המאכלת

לשחוט את בניך

ויתעלו בניך שם לעולה

וילכו להם

ותֹּאמֶר, “הנני בָנַי“

Han'arim: A Song for Our Lost Boys

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Sun, 06 Jul 2014 05:13:00 +0000

Only one week ago, last Friday night after our Shabbat meal, I was putting my son to sleep. He was sad about something—I don't remember what—and I was sad, too, thinking about our missing boys and hoping that they would be found alive. I wrote this song there in his room, to comfort us both, and as a prayer for my son, for the boys, and for all of the Jewish people in anguish and despair. Now that our worst fears have been realized and the missing boys, Naftali Frankel, Eyal Yifrach and Gilad Shaar, are dead, I offer the song with the hope that their holy souls be bound with the souls of the ever-living, and that their families and all of us find comfort in the rebuilding of Jerusalem soon and in our days.

60,000 What??

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 16 May 2014 13:49:00 +0000

The JewPsy blog has reached 60,000 hits! But what's so special about 60,000?

This photo has no relevance at all other than the big, red
60,000 with which these fellows are inexplicably posing.

Well, imagine that. You all have visited this blog sixty thousand times! Which doesn't really mean all that much because, to be honest, 60,000 is not a particularly significant number. It's not the flashy 50,000, and it's less than plenty of downright boring numbers (60,001 being just one of infinite examples). But 60,000 is still a nice, round number, and that's a good enough reason for me to allow myself to share a little high-five with you (yes, and you too). While we're at it, though, here's a little 60,000 trivia that you may find, if not
useful, then at least marginally interesting.

60,000 is:

The number of Legos it took to build a scale model of Vatican City last week in Summit, NJ. The model, built by the 5th and 6th graders of Oak Knoll School of the Holy Child took up 400 square feet of the school gym.
The number of people who sang Bohemian Rhapsody together while waiting for the start of a Green Day concert in London's Emirates Stadium in June. (I know, right? Green Day still selling out stadiums?) That just shows you the dangers of prolonged exposure to heat, boredom, and claustrophobia. Watch the video after the bump:

The number of plastic bags Americans use every 5 seconds.
The age, in years, of aboriginal art on a stone in Australia that some idiot vandalized yesterday by etching above it "Go and work for a living."
The money that Jonah Hill made for starring in The Wolf of Wall Street. (Leonardo Dicaprio only made around $50 million.)
The amount of dollars in cash that a manager and an unarmed security guard were pushing around in a shopping cart in the Whole Foods on Houston Street before it was stolen by a "quick, quiet" armed robber.
The length, in miles, that the blood vessels of an average child would span if laid out end-to-end.
The level of income, in dollars, that is higher than or equal to what the majority of American households make each year. 54% of working-age families in this country with children under the age of 18 make between approximately $15,000 and $60,000 per year).
Number of jars of peanut butter donated by Peanut Proud, a charitable organization of U.S. peanut growers, donated to food banks in the southern U.S. after the devastating tornadoes that hit the area last month.
It's also the number of dollars that it cost to ship millions of jars of peanut butter from a bankrupt peanut-processing plant to a New Mexico landfill this March. The 950,000 jars weighed approximately 25 tons and made up 58 truckloads.
...and the number of times JewPsy has been visited (actually it's 60,080 by now, but who's counting, right?

Are We Listening?: Women Singing, Orthodox Rabbis, and Israel's Religious-Secular Divide

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Thu, 08 May 2014 18:19:00 +0000

R' Lichtenstein accepting the Israel Prize

They say it 'aint over til the fat lady sings, but maybe we should lower the curtain before she even starts. This week, on Israel's Memorial and Independence Days, the chief rabbi of Tzfat (Safed), Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu and Rosh Yeshiva (dean) of Yeshivat Har Etzion, Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein both participated in public ceremonies that involved "kol isha," (lit., a woman's voice), the halakhic term for women singing. Rabbi Eliyahu delivered his opening remarks and then got up and left, while Rabbi Lichtenstein stayed for his entire ceremony, looking honored to be there. Rabbi Amnon Bazak, an outspoken lecturer at Har Etzion, addressed these contrasting approaches in a short but poignant essay today. Below is an English translation followed by the original Hebrew.

Rabbi Shmuel Eliyahu left the IDF soldiers' memorial ceremony in Tzfat because of women singing. The next day, Independence Day, my teacher and mentor, Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein remained at the award ceremony for the Israel Prize, despite there being women singing there, following in the path of chief rabbis from the inception of the State [of Israel] through today, to not avoid official ceremonies because of female singing.

It would seem that this difference did not arise because Rabbi Eliyahu is more adherent to halakha than the rabbis mentioned above, but because he is less concerned about the damage caused by turning state events into the focus of unnecessary conflict between religious and secular [Jews]. It may be easier and more acceptable in certain segments of Jewish society to demand full, rigid compliance with every halakhic stricture in the public arena; to argue: "Why should we compromise? Let them compromise;" and to look forward to the day when only men will sing at official ceremonies. However, Israel's rabbis recognized that in the present reality, a strict approach would ultimately result in rift and rupture, and a deeper understanding of the Torah's way allows—and therefore also demands—that one be less strict and to stay in his seat, especially when dealing with ceremonial singing with no creative connotations. Because Israel's Torah considers the big picture and is not afraid of complexity.

הרב שמואל אליהו עזב את טקס הזיכרון לחיילי צה"ל בצפת בשל שירת נשים. למחרת, ביום העצמאות, נשאר מו"ר הרב ליכטנשטיין בטקס חלוקת פרסי ישראל למרות שגם בו הייתה שירת הנשים, ובכך הלך בדרכם של הרבנים הראשיים מקום המדינה ועד היום, שלא פרשו מטקסים רשמיים בשל שירת נשים.

דומה, שהבדל זה איננו נובע מכך שהרב אליהו מקפיד יותר על הלכה מהרבנים שהוזכרו, אלא מכך שהוא מחשיב פחות את הנזק שבהפיכת אירועים ממלכתיים למוקדי חיכוך מיותרים בין דתיים לחילוניים. ייתכן שנוח וקליט יותר בחלקים מסוימים בחברה הדתית לדרוש הקפדה חמורה לכתחילה במרחב הציבורי, לטעון: "למה שאנחנו נתפשר? שהם יתפשרו", ולצפות ליום שרק גברים ישירו בטקסים ממלכתיים. אולם רבני ישראל הבינו שבמציאות הנוכחית גישה מחמירה תביא בסופו של דבר להעמקת הפילוג והפיצול, והבנה מעמיקה של דרכה של תורה מאפשרת – ומשום כך גם מחייבת – להקל ולהישאר במקום, במיוחד כשמדובר בשירה טקסית נטולת קונוטציות יצריות. כי תורת ישראל לוקחת בחשבון מבט רחב, ואיננה מפחדת ממורכבות.

Blogging Rabbis and the Unfolding Future of Orthodox Judaism

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 02 May 2014 19:23:00 +0000

As rabbis have increased thier web presence, the discourse about halacha and contemporary religious issues has started to move online, too. Shulem Deen, editor of unpious.com, discusses the history of Orthodox Rabbi-run blogs, thier impact on Modern Orthodoxy, and the Ultra-Orthodox response:

"Online and Unabashed: Orthodox Rabbis and Scholars Take to the Internet"

R' Aharon Lichtenstein profiled in advance of receiving Israel Prize

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Thu, 01 May 2014 19:17:00 +0000

Who Is Aharon Lichtenstein? » Mosaic Magazine

"To those... who are acquainted with or have been touched by [Rabbi Lichtenstein's] life and work, this award, to be conferred on May 6, Independence Day, will signify one of those rare instances when government committees get things right."

Holy Schlissel?

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 25 Apr 2014 20:53:00 +0000

If it's the first Shabbos after Pesach, you know everyone's looking forward to their challah. You also know that someone, somewhere, is going to be going on about "schlissel challah" and inauthentic minhagim (ritual customs). Schlissel challah, literally key challah, refers to the key-shaped challah bread that many Jews bake on the first Shabbos after Pesach (many, place an actual key inside a normal loaf, instead). Many explanations have been suggested for this custom, including focusing awareness on the gates of Heaven that are believed to remain open during the month after Pesach, as well as a thanks and request for material sustenance (see article).

On Mesora.org, a website that describes itself as "dedicated to spiritual and rabbinic verification of Jewish beliefs and practices," educator Shelomo Alfassa created a minor stir last year with an article suggesting that schlissel challah may be better thought of as a "loaf of idolatry" because of its pagan or Christian origins. This year, Rabbi Yair Hoffman cites a variety of Hassidic sources that discuss schlissel challah, dating back to the mid-18th century.

Whatever the provenance of this minhag, however, we may want to think about the merits of dismissing a practice that has taken on spiritual significance for so many people. In all our zeal for enlightened authenticity in our religious practices, we can't forget the meaning and emotional significance that those practices hold for others, or for ourselves.

Social scientist James Fowler describes a stage of typical spiritual development in which a person during adolescence connects with stories, practices, and beliefs that symbolize the person's connectedness to his or her community. Rabbi Jay Goldmintz, in an important article in the journal Tradition, applies this to the development of today's (modern) Orthodox teens:

Consider the fact that, according to Fowler, an adolescent at this stage sees symbols as being inseparable from their meaning. Worthy symbols are themselves sacred. They are depths of meaning. “Any strategy of demythologization, therefore, threatens the participation of symbol and symbolized and is taken, consequently, as an assault on the sacred itself.”Much as we may value lomdus, much as we may be motivated to teach our students all kinds of hakiras and fine distinctions, we must also recall that the unexamined nature of belief is such that, for some, it helps maintain kedusha. Conversely, breaking down that belief when a student is not yet ready may have the effect of robbing the symbol of its kedusha and its uniqueness. One might tell some students that the halakha does not require one to stand when the Aron Kodesh is open, but is it the appropriate thing to say to all students? What is true of symbols may be true of concepts as well: the teacher who tells his students that Judaism is opposed to “spirituality” may have precedent to rely upon, but he may be doing more harm than good by assaulting a key part of a student’s religious sensibilities.

This may be a signature of adolescent spirituality, but for many people, the importance of such symbols continues throughout their adult lives and mature spirituality. Those feelings may not be very scholarly, but they are no less real.

Critical, intellectual analysis may, for some of us, form the basis of our faith, the flavor of our frumkeit, if you will. But we have to take care that we don't let our own stuff burst the bubbles of others whose faith may be more experiential and emotionally-based than ours. Just because one key can access my soul, that does not mean it will unlock yours, too.

Teachers: Save the First-Day Freshness

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Mon, 09 Sep 2013 23:44:00 +0000

Happy first day of school!

There's something special about the first day of school, for students and for teachers, that's hard to replicate at any other time in the school year. Sure, it's a little hectic and a tad stressful, but that's all overshadowed by the wonderful freshness of the day. We're excited to see the kids and to have them enjoy the rooms we worked so hard on, and we're eager to throw ourselves into reaching our curricular and personal goals.

That newness is what's going to keep the effortless smiles on our faces today and afterward, and it's what will help get us up and off to work each morning (resting up over the summer doesn't hurt, either). Unfortunately, though, the newness doesn't always last. That's when the stress of teaching and work can start to weigh us down. We have less energy and we become less effective teachers. We can become more irritable and more cynical.

So take a moment today to get a mental snapshot of your First-Day self. Take it with you through the year and check yourself against it. Are you finding ways to keep things fresh, or are you getting stale and stressed? And remember to take advantage of your colleagues, supervisors, and support staff, who are always here to support each other.

A Conversation With Rabbi Arele Harel

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 18:26:00 +0000

AN ORTHODOX RABBI EXPLAINS WHY HE IS PAIRING GAY MEN WITH LESBIAN WOMEN

Time magazine yesterday posted an article and video about Rabbi Harel, an Israeli rabbi with a novel approach to addressing the dilemma faced by Orthodox homosexual men and women. In March, JewPsy wrote about Rabbi Harel's work in an extensive piece discussing the possible merits of his approach for gay Orthodox Jews who are committed to their communities and halacha, Jewish law ("A New Proposal: Gay Marriage, Orthodox Style"). Harel plans to unveil his online match-making service for Orthodox gay people this September. "This is the best solution we can offer people who want to live within the halacha," Harel says. "This may not be a perfect solution, but it's kind of a solution."

See the video after the jump (click "Read more")

Summer Camp 2.0

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 21:22:00 +0000

Reflections on Jewish camping in the age of social media

When I was growing up, going to camp meant putting my regular world in exile while I continued with life somewhere far away. There were no phone calls and if you wrote a letter you had to wait at least a week for a response. There was no email delivery and, even if cell phones were around, no kids were hiding them in their camp trunks. Children had a break from their parents and parents from their children.

My, how the bunkhouse walls have fallen.

Like every other area of our lives, the urge and means to stay connected have won out over quainter notions of going away to camp, and camps have been forced to adapt to parents' increasing expectations for access and information. It began several years ago with camps adding features to their websites to extend their functionality beyond registration and packing lists and into the summertime. Families could now see blog posts about their child's division, find out about upcoming events, and see photos from the past week, or day, of camp. The YouTube age only raised the bar for online "content" that camps were expected to offer their eager audiences. Color wars, shiriahs, camp shows and all sorts of other events were thrown up on the web for parents to consume in near-real time.

In my own house, Camp Morasha's (a major Modern Orthodox camp) weekly Erev Shabbat/week-in-review videos have been must-sees every summer Friday for the past four years. My kids love the chance to scream out their cousins' names as they recognize them on the screen, while I have been continually impressed by the ever-improving production quality, even with such small turnaround time. But this week's Morasha video is different, and I think it represents a fundamental change in the relationship between campers, parents and the media the connects them. This video (below) features a flash mob with at least a hundred Morasha campers in a shopping mall executing a large-scale, elaborately choreographed dance number to the pleasure of surprised shoppers and security guards. It is a lot of fun and rather impressive. What makes it different, though, is the way it shifts the role of the video camera from documenting to directing the camp experience.

Julia Roberts once explained why she would only act clothed, saying, "To act with my clothes on is a performance; to act with my clothes off is a documentary." Here we have the opposite: when children are being recorded doing their normal camp thing, they are campers; when rehearsing for the video becomes their normal camp thing, they are actors. This raises a whole bunch of questions: when camp becomes theater and parents the audience, who are the real campers? When the "camp experience" becomes secondary to the product to be posted, how does a camp measure its success?

Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with this development, and I don't meant to predict the end of Jewish camping. These kids are clearly having a blast, and probably learning a few helpful skills while they're at it, and the parents need something to keep themselves busy. And of course, using flashy media to attract customers is nothing new either. It's just interesting to see how the institutions that helped form our strongest, old-school, childhood memories are changing in the age of social media.

If the changes in rest of the world is any indication, we have plenty of other changes to look forward to.

Arrest of IMF Head Not So Good for the Jews

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Wed, 18 May 2011 21:47:00 +0000

"Money, women, and the fact that I am Jewish": three barriers that Dominique Strauss-Kahn mused in a recent interview with the French daily Liberation would stand in his way despite his being the expected favorite for his country's upcoming presidential elections. Turns out one was all it took.

It's unclear whether Strauss-Kahn's Judaism, about which he was outspoken, would have played a role in an election. Some French politicians describe the prospect of a Jewish President as "normal," yet a member of Sarkozy's political party seemed to allude to the IMF leader's Jewish roots when he recently remarked on French radio that the IMF leader “doesn’t embody the image of France, the image of rural France that we like, and to which I’m attached."
What is clear, however, is that Strauss-Kahn is not so good for the Jews.

Full article from the Jerusalem Post here

180 Sephardi Girls Shut Out From School

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Wed, 18 May 2011 04:49:00 +0000

Old biases die hard; we Jews know that. But for Sephardi Jews in Israel's "ultra-Orthodox" Haredi community, discrimination and exclusion--by their fellow Jews--serve as regular reminders.

Ynet reports that 180 Sephardi students (students from Middle-Eastern descent) from Jerusalem have no spot in the city's Haredi school system for the 2011-2012 school year after the close of registration. This in addition to the handful of girls who are still without spots from the beginning of this year, and some from 2009. Critics accuse the schools of maintaining an unspoken quota of, at most, 30% Sephardi girls, and accuse the Jerusalem municipality of "washing its hands of the situation year after year, ...deny[ing] the existence of quotas" while doing all it can to support them.

Read the full story here

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.8

Israeli Soldier, Killed in Yom Kipur War, Given a New Voice

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Wed, 18 May 2011 04:37:00 +0000

Idan Raichel sets to music the young man's "letter home" more than 35 years after it was written

Israeli singer, songwriter and producer Idan Raichel wrote this song as a musical setting for a poem written by a young IDF soldier named Reuven Politi to his mother before his death in the Y"K war. (Lyrics are at the end of the post.)

Listen to the way Raichel wrote the verses in (modern) phrygian mode (you'll hear what I mean), evoking the intensity and fear of war, and switches abruptly to a major scale for the chorus (ironically, just for the words "We are not heros"), for a brief tinge of hope. All of that amplifies the exquisite pathos of the rest of the chorus as it moves into a minor scale as the narrator tries desperately to impress upon his mother the urgency of his message. Of course, knowing the mortal fate of that young soldier only makes it that much more heartbreaking.

Below is a piece from Israel's Channel 2 News (Hebrew) on the background story.

אמא, אבא וכל השאר
מילים: ראובן פוליטי ז"ל
לחן: עידן רייכל
וכשהלילה תם והשמש מאירה
התדעי אמא מה לעינינו נראה?
עצים סביב, רמי צמרת אך חרוכי גזע
בתים גדולים סביב אך הרוסים הם דהויי צבע
מהלך על הריסות אני, אמא
ותאמיני לי אין כאן שום אגס ואין כאן פרח

לא גיבורים אנחנו כי מלאכתנו שחורה
תשקע השמש, תבוא העלטה
ואז ננום בבגדנו במיטה
כן אמא, זה חשוב, זה קשה וזה נורא

בחיי שזה קשה אך אני נשאר
אפורה האדמה ושחור האופק
וכחול שמים כאילו משתהה והוא ממתין
ולא נוגע, הוא לא נוגע באופק השחור
ביניהם חלל, שום קשר וכל השאר
וזה קשה מאוד אך אני נשאר
יש כאן גדר תיל ואחריה חרב שלופה
אמא, אבא וכל השאר

לא גיבורים אנחנו כי מלאכתנו שחורה
תשקע השמש, תבוא העלטה
ואז ננום בבגדנו במיטה
כן אמא, זה חשוב, זה קשה וזה נורא

וכשהלילה תם והשמש מאירה
התדעי אמא מה לעינינו נראה?

Life Lessons from a Coke Machine: The Ecstasy of the Unexpected

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Sun, 01 May 2011 21:55:00 +0000

אז ימלא שחוק פינו

Unforeseen Delight

Have you ever been staggered with gladness? Have you ever been caught off guard by something small and ordinary but delighted by the sheer surprise of it? There's something particularly elating about the unexpected—a gift from a stranger, an unpredicted punchline, an unbelievable sports play, a playfully startled baby—that evokes within us joy and laughter unlike those from any other source.

Below is a promotional video from Coca Cola that shows various gleeful college students brought to laughter by a Coke machine. Coke's message, apparently, is that in some vague way Coke brings people happiness. Some might rightly point out that giving anyone something for nothing would make them smile. But I think the real power here is not what was given, but the unexpectedness of how it was done. I wonder with the author of A GeekyMomma's Blog, writes, "if the same machine doled out jokes, a handshake, or perhaps wrote a check to a non-profit organization, if the reaction might be very similar."

What do you think? Watch and decide for yourself:

What struck me most about my reaction to this video is how happy it made me seeing other people getting gladdened like this. And writing that last sentence made me realize how insufficiently our language includes references to making other people happy. In contrast, the root of Hebrew's most common word for happiness, שמחה, is regularly used as לְשַׂמִֵחַ for that purpose. This might reflect the ease of Hebrew conjugation, but this usage dates back at least to the Book of Psalms, and is firmly embedded within Jewish culture.) GeekyMom is taking this one step further with a delightful contest, where, starting today readers post videos to YouTube of themselves being "Happiness Machines" (á la the Coke machine) for a chance to win a Lenovo M90z computer (I kid you not!).

And Now for Something Completely Different: or Laughing All the Way to...

This kind of unexpected joy is what the sages, חז“ל call שְׂחוֹק, and it has an important mystical/eschatological meaning. This feeling was embedded into the our collective spiritual identity during the very birth of כלל ישראל (the Jewish people) in the person of יִצְחַק. When Sara, at 90 years old and infertile from youth, bore an unexpected son it was this distinctive delight that Avraham acknowledged with the child's name (the root of "Isaac" is similar to שחוק). This joy, Jews believe, will ultimately be revealed in its full form one day when the world joins together to serve Hashem. Then, אַז, when evil and darkness are be overturned abruptly and absolutely, G-d will be exalted, the world will be filled with the ecstasy of the unexpected, and we will be filled with joyous song. And in case you were wondering, that is what you've been talking about every week for all these years: אז ימלא שחוק פינו ולשוננו רנה.

All right, this post was kind of messianistic, but can you blame me? I mean, what do you think of when you see Coca Cola YouTube videos??

The Great Adventures of Chol Hamoed

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 19:52:00 +0000

Pesach's Iconic Moments

Pesach is all about imagery. Almost every important moment of the holiday and every observance corresponds to its own iconic moment in the story of Yetzias Mitzrayim (the Exodus from Egypt). At the seder we conjure the hardships of Jewish slavery, the Ten Plagues, and our hasty departure. From the second night we count the Omer, remembering the Jews' march toward Sinai, and on the last days of yom tov, we rejoice in the miracles at the Yam Suf. But what about Chol Hamoed? What storybook moment goes along with this holiday middle child?

The Cattail

My pick for a middle-day metaphor is Moshe in the reeds and rushes, where, after three months in hiding and a stint on the water, he was found by Pharaoh's daughter and finally alllowed to stetch out and "step out of the basket." In that scene, the theme of packed-in-to-spreading-out is vividly symbolized in particular by the bullrushes along the marsh. Also known as cattails, bullrushes are recognizable by the fuzzy-looking brown covering that sits at the top of thier long stems like a chocolate hot dog on a long, flimsy skewer.

Those brown "tails" actually consist of thousands of spores of pollen packed in more tightly than your kids when you visit your parents for Yom Tov. When the tails get loose or broken apart—like when an unsuspecting costumer, hypothetically, rubs one between his fingers after returning from the flower store—the spores expand to many times their compressed size and spread out in all directions.

Getting Together and Staying Apart

That's just what the Jews do on Chol Hamoed. Maybe it's because we've been cooped up all Yom Tov or maybe we don't get out much during the year, but for some reason whenever these days roll around, we all feel the need to pack up the family, grab our matzot and hit the road. It's as if day-tripping is for Jews on Chol Hamoed the same as it is for Deadheads before a show: its just part of the experience. And we don't just go local, either. It seems like any place you go on Chol Hamoed, you're bound to find other Jews. I remember one Pesach staying overnight in Providence, Rhode Island only to find three Hassidic couples on line for a mansion tour who had driven in from Borough Park just for the day.

Part of this is the cattail phenomenon: we're packed in so tightly like the spores that when we venture, en masse, into the world outside, our numbers are startling. Some of it is also because of the age old "don't want to see other Jews" paradox: I am a Jew traveling because of the holday, but I'm bothered by seeing others like me doing the same. The funny thing is, that kind of Jew-avoidance does not just drive people's recration plans, it also underlies much of the way we interact when we get there. At a typical amusement park, for instance, you'll find all flavors of Jews: Modern Orthodox, Hassidic, Yeshivish, non-Orthodox, Sefardic, Lubavitch, and Other (Pacific Islander?). But rather than melting pots of Jewish unity, these sites are more often scenes of avoidance and Jewish judgementalism.

Of course, each denomination is judgmental in its own way. Some mutter under thier breaths (correctly, in my opinion) about how others cut lines or "make chillul Hashem," while others question another group's hechsherim (kashrut symbols). And they all comment about another groups' clothes. The one thing, however, that these groups hardly do is interact.

Next Year in Jerusalem

As I was observing that divide this year I was reminded of a moving experience I had while I was learning in yeshiva in Israel. Every Pesach and Sukkot thousands of Jews flock to the Kotel to pray together and commemorate the holiday pilgrimages in the days of the Temples. On those days I would go the Old City of Yerushalayim and just be. I would walk around, perch on some lookout, or just sit. And be with Jews. It was an incredible feeling, Jews from everywhere in the world coming together to one spot, just like they had two thousand years before. I felt like I was in the center of the universe.

The truth is, I was probably a bit naive back then: just because all those people were going to the same place that doesn't mean that they'd go have coffee together, or even talk to each other on that day, when they were together anyway. Still, that makes me wonder: we are promised from the Prophets and on that one day all Jews will come together and accept Hashem as our King. But could that happen? From where I'm standing that looks rather improbable. If we can't manage an afternoon together at Great Adventure, can we do eternity?

Maybe that's part of the wonder of the "Days to Come": that things will come together in a way that was previously unimaginable. I guess this is one of those situations where we just throw up our hands and say, "It will happen when Mashiach comes." This time, though, I think I'm actually trying to believe it.

Passover Humor

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 19:44:00 +0000

If you're like me, you're always up for a good laugh. The problem is, though, there's not much about Passover that's all that funny--that is until you're 4 cups in and the guy across the table, who decided to take on his own chumrah (extra stringency) and drink straight through the meal, tries to make animal noises for Adir Hu, thinking you're up to Chad Gadya. Of course, the story of the Exodus is exciting and genuinely inspirational, but as a movie I'd file it with the dramas or the action films, even the sci-fi (well, minus the "fi"), but definately not under "comedy." That's probably for the best: how would it look if the story of G-d's greatest show of wonder and Heavenly dominance was relegated to sitting in some Blockbuster next to a scratched-up copy of "The Hangover?" But that still means no one's laughing when it comes to Pesach. To fix some of that, I've put together some clips and other stuff that made me laugh. Of course, this is not meant to detract from any of the serious preparation that must precede any meaningful spiritual endeavor. Just think of it as the charoset on top.
OK, here we go. Everyone, leaning to the left...

No one makes fun of Jews like Colbert

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Passover Commercialism

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog

Video Archive

Classic Daily Show

The Daily Show - The Meaning of Passover
Tags: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Hitler Finds Out There's Another Jewish Holiday Parody

The SNL Seinfeld Passover Sketch

The Japanese Pesach tip (HT: Kventchingeditor)

Pesach Cards

Four Questions: Extended Edition

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A hysterical piece from the New Yorker by SNL writers

YOUNGEST CHILD: How is this night different from all other nights?
FATHER: Because on this night we tell the story of our escape from Egypt.

YOUNGEST CHILD: How is this night different from Easter?
FATHER: It is worse.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why do we go through the motions of this ritual year after year, even though all of us doubt God’s existence?
FATHER: Because your grandmother is still alive.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why on this night does the mother-in-law say that the brisket her son’s wife cooked is dry when it is fine?
FATHER: Because she resents the fact that she cannot legally marry her son, the doctor.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why on this night do we leave this chair open?
FATHER: It is for the holy angel Elijah, should he bless us with a visit.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why is this other chair open?
FATHER: That’s where your grandfather was sitting. He’s been in the bathroom for over ninety minutes. He’s either having some troubles, or he is engrossed in that book of Doonesbury cartoons.

YOUNGEST CHILD: How long has that book been in there?
FATHER: Since the time of Egypt.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why, if Israel is so great, have we never gone there?
FATHER: It is not great. We are scared to go there.

OLDEST DAUGHTER: My friends say that I look Italian. Is that true?
FATHER: It is not true. You friends are either liars or so Jewish-looking that you look less Jewish by comparison.

OLDEST DAUGHTER: When can I get a nose job?
FATHER: Ninety days before college. That is how long it takes for the bandages to come off.

FATHER: Has everyone here seen “Blazing Saddles”?
ALL: Yes, we have seen it.

FATHER: Do you remember the beans scene? That is the greatest scene.
ALL: Yes, we remember it.

FATHER: Does it get any better than Billy Joel?
ALL: No.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Why do we subscribe to the Forward?
FATHER: We do not subscribe. They found us.

YOUNGEST CHILD: Can we please just eat already?
FATHER: Yes.

ALL: Amen.

Chag Sameach, Happy Passover to everyone!

Shortage of ADHD Meds is Getting Parents Hyper, Too

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 19:11:00 +0000

Talk to a parent whose child with ADHD has been helped by stimulant medications like Ritalin and Adderall, and you're likely to hear how their son or daughter is "a different kid" on the drug. But many parents who have been "given back their child" by ADD medications are preparing themselves to get reacquainted with the old kid.

According to a report by MSNBC, pharmacies across the country have been turning away parents who have come to fill their prescriptions for Ritalin and Adderall and their generic equivalents. The scarcities have prompted the Food and Drug Administration to add both methylphenidate (Ritalin) and Amphetamine Salts (Adderall) to their list of national shortages. A shortage will hit stimulant medication users and their parents especially hard because they are unable to fill more than a 30-days' supply at one time because of the medications' classifcation as controlled substances. In addition to often tripling prescription copays and adding inconvenience, this law also means that parents never have more than a one-month stock of the medication.

The effects of withholding medication from children with ADHD are noticeable immediately. Both Ritalin and Adderal go through a person's system rather quickly and their therapeutic action finishes by the next day, if not within hours. From there it could take just one day until the child enters into a negative feedback loop. Children who need the meds but don't have them will change in way that will affect not only them, but their social and family interactions, their school performance, the choices they make, and the overall stress level of their homes. As the relationships between the child and these environmental contexts are reciprocal, changes in the child will also lead to changes in the individuals or settings, themselves. For example, a father who is tired and frustrated from having to manage his child's difficult behavior will become less patient with that child and his other children, peers might come to reject the child, and the child might face disciplinary consequences. All of these are likely to just drive the formerly-sweet (on meds) child further toward becoming unmanageable and frustrated with himself.

As a clinician and parent, I'm glad that the MSNBC article noted how much of a toll this shortage could take on parents, whol will have to deal with thier chldren unmedicated. But the author leaves out the potntial effect theachers. At a school fundraising dinner that I recently attended, one of the speakers untroduced the teachers by saying to the parents, "They (the teachers) do something everyday that most of us could not pull off: spending 6-8 hours a day with our kdis, 5 days a week!" So it is to the teachers that my heart goes when I read of this shortage. Having one or two children in a home unmedicated does not comare to 5 or 6 of them in a classroom, plus 15 other kids, plus a lesson plan.

That is, unless the parent runs out over Pesach. If that happens, we'll all need help!
Read the MSNBC article here

Pesach Preparation Delusions

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:22:00 +0000

Tricking ourselves into believing in the big Passover payoff

The Passover Preparation Myth

In a season of slavery to redemption, the weeks leading up to Passover would definately fall into the former category. Cleaning out drawers and cars; endlessly reminding kids that, "Yes, that is chametz, and No, you may not take that into your room!"; trying on ALL of EVERY child's Shabbos clothes to figure out what needs to be purchased; cooking, scrubbing, kashering... the list is endless. But ask most Jewish women (and hopefully men), and you'll likely hear that the work is not all that bad, or if it is it's worth it. For most people, the beautiful Yom Tov is a payoff that justifies all of the pre-Pesach prep.

But is that really true? Is the degree of a person's Yom Tov pleasure or meaning related to how much they sweat to prepare for it? Sure, a person who worked hard for anything is able to take pride in a way that someone else can not. But does a kid who comes home from yeshiva or college right before Pesach enjoy the holiday that much less than his parents who've been slaving over the preparations for weeks?

I'd venture to say not much.

Why, then, do we who prepare delude ourselves with the belief that our work will magically transform our Pesach experience? Because we have to. If we didn't play this little solitaire mind game, we'd either resent the cleaning tremendously or just not do it at all. (There are also the few who are able to manage the ideal and stay mindful that they are fulfilling a mitvah of Hashem, but they aren't the point of this post, so I'll delude myself, too and pretend they don't exist.)

Why Yeshiva Parents Have to Love Their Children More

To understand this phenomenon a little better, let's look at the way parents fool themselves. You don't have to have children of your own to know that they are quite the little money pits. If you send your kids to yeshiva, in these days of "tuition crisis," you might as well be volunteering for your 50-hour-a-week job, or spending your days surfing, because you probably wouldn't be brining home much less. Some parents even choose to not have more children just because of the cost. Simply put, kids are an investment that only a mother can love. Beyond the financial aspects, Time's John Cloud reports:

Researchers have known for some time that parents with minors who live at home report feeling calm significantly less often than than people who don’t live with young children. Parents are also angrier and more depressed than nonparents — and each additional child makes them even angrier. Couples who choose not to have kids also have better, more satisfying marriages than couples who have kids.

And yet, people are still popping out kids, at a rate high enough (thankfully, for humankind) to continue populating the entire planet, and they like it. But what's interesting is that parents do not just enjoy parenting despite its high cost. In a paper published in last month's Psychological Science psychologists Richard Eibach and Steven Mock show how parents actually think more highly of raising children because of it. In two separate studies, parents rated the rewards of parenting and intent to spend time with thier children significantly higher after reading about the costs of parenting than others did after reading about the financial benefits. Funny, right? But again, parents have no choice but to delude themselves this way.
The reason is that our brains don't like conflicting messages about our behavior. People do what we do because of a particular motivation; when we are confronted with information that challenges that motivation that creates what cognitive psychologists call cognitive dissonance. Think of two people singing in harmony. Pretty… until one of them sings just a little bit higher than his note and, “Ouch!” it hurts to listen. Unless he lowers his pitch or the other guy raises his, the sound will be jarring. The same with parenting: (a) parents are raising children, but (b) it’s not worth the money, that’s a tension that the parent mind needs to fix. So they delude themselves. What else can they do? Admit to themselves that all the money they spent was not worth whatever benefit they get from their children (long-term care insurance is cheaper)? They can’t exactly opt out anymore. And so, parents who read about the costs of raising children inflate the rewards to relieve the conflict: yes, it costs a lot, but that’s not a challenge to my behavior because it’s worth it. The greater the cost (read: yeshiva tuition), the greater the delusion
The game that Pesach prep'ers play with themselves is no different. You're throwing body and soul into cleaning, covering, kashering, cooking, etc., while the little voice in the back of your mind is saying:

This is crazy work. I can't believe we said no to his parents... and invited them here! Why am I doing this instead of going to the Homowack? Is there even a Homowack? There has to be some reason I'm doing it this way!

And so the Passover prep delusion is born: "I know I'm working hard now, but come Seder night, and I will be enjoying my yom tov more than anyone else in the room."

Happiness is Happiness and Meaning is Meaning

The question, then, is "So what?" Does it really matter if my appreciation for a yom tov, or the meaning I find in my work for it, or even my appreciation of the joy of child-raising is really an attempt to justify my efforts? Does that make them any less real? Psychologist David DeSteno thinks not:

Dan Gilbert, whose lab has been researching the predictors of happiness for quite some time... suggests otherwise. The happiness we arrive at through higher order cognitive processes involved in dissonance reduction is no less rewarding, no less authentic, than that born from other psychological mechanisms. This idea has received recent support. We know that other types of motivations (like the desire to fit in) can change the reward value of stimuli, so then why not the motivation to justify a monetary cost?

After all the analyzing is done, maybe the best thing is just to take what comes. Welcome inspiration wherever you find it and embrace meaning even if it is a product of you're own mind. Rationalizing the work of Pesach preparation will certainly make it pass more easily, and it can even be channeled to create a meaningful, mindful act of avodas Hashem (serving God). Unfortunately, it won't do much for chopping onions, and if you think you're selling your kids on this idea, good luck (the little money pits...)!

Soundtrack of the Yemeni Uprising: Jewish Music?

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 01:33:00 +0000

Protestors in Yemen's "Rose Revolution"

When's the last time you heard the words, "Crank up the Shwekey, we're gonna have ourselves a revolution!"?
It's certainly not what I would have thought to spin if I were DJ'ing the uprisings in Yemen, but apparently among the revolutionaries fighting to bring down that country's President, Ali Abdullah Saleh, a song called Kaddish (video below) by the late Israeli singer Ofra Haza has been emerging as the anthem of the uprising.
Like so much of the essential news on Middle East uprising, this tidbit was bandied across Twitter this morning. In a conversation I "overheard" (thanks to blogger Jack Zaientz, author of the Teruah Jewish Music Blog, who re-tweeted it), Canadian PR professional Maria Al-Masani reported to Senior NP Strategist Andy Carvin that the song has taken on a strong meaning for the Yemeni protestors.

It makes a lot of sense that Ofra Haza's music would resonate with these Yemeni rebels. First of all, in a "rose revolution" led largely by a mother of three, it is fair to expect some break from the traditional, hard-core revolutionary esthetic. Also, Haza herself was the daughter of Yemeni immigrants to Israel, and many of her songs were sung in Yemeni dialect. In fact, even during her lifetime, the singer was held as a beloved source of national pride to many Yemeni Arabs. Haza's songs also frequently dealt with her own political positions which emphasized peace and unity. Horashoot (The Bridge), for example, is a traditional Yemenite wedding song that she adapted, in Yemeni Arabic, before a tour of Arab countries to symbolize the shaky bond between the two joined peoples, and that she ended in English with the hopeful overture, "We can cross the bridge together."

12-Year-Old Autistic Boy Develops Own Theory of Relativity

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 14:35:00 +0000

Daily Mail-

A 12-year-old child prodigy has astounded university professors after grappling with some of the most advanced concepts in mathematics.

Jacob Barnett has an IQ of 170 - higher than Albert Einstein - and is now so far advanced in his Indiana university studies that professors are lining him up for a PHD research role.

The boy wonder, who taught himself calculus, algebra, geometry and trigonometry in a week, is now tutoring fellow college classmates after hours.

And now Jake has embarked on his most ambitious project yet - his own 'expanded version of Einstein's theory of relativity'.

His mother, not sure if her child was talking nonsense or genius, sent a video of his theory to the renowned Institute for Advanced Study near Princeton University.

According to the Indiana Star, Institute astrophysics professor Scott Tremaine -himself a world renowned expert - confirmed the authenticity of Jake's theory.

In an email to the family, Tremaine wrote: 'I'm impressed by his interest in physics and the amount that he has learned so far.

'The theory that he's working on involves several of the toughest problems in astrophysics and theoretical physics.

'Anyone who solves these will be in line for a Nobel Prize.'

But for his mother Kristine Barnett, 36, and the rest of the family, maths remains a tricky subject.

Speaking to the paper, Mrs Barnett said: 'I flunked math. I know this did not come from me.'

And it hasn't gone un-noticed by Jake, who added: 'Whenever I try talking about math with anyone in my family they just stare blankly.'

Jake was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome, a mild form of autism, from an early age.

His parents were worried when he didn't talk until the age of two, suspecting he was educationally abnormal.

It was only as he began to grow up that they realised just how special his gift was.

He would fill up note pads of paper with drawings of complex geometrical shapes and calculations, before picking up felt tip pens and writing equations on windows.

By the age of three he was solving 5,000-piece puzzles and he even studied a state road map, reciting every highway and license plate prefix from memory.

By the age of eight he had left high school and was attending Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis advanced astrophysics classes.

His classroom presence is quite unnerving for many of the 18-plus year old students at his IPIU lectures.

Speaking to the Indy Star, Wanda Anderson, a biochemistry major said: 'When I first walked in and saw him, I thought, 'Oh my God, I'm going to school with Doogie Howser.'

She added: 'A lot of people come to him for help when they don't understand a physics problem.

'People come up to him all the time and say, 'Hey Jake, can you help me'.

'A lot of people think a genius is hard to talk to, but Jake explains things that would still be over their head.'

And his Professor John Ross said his performance in lectures had been 'outstanding'.

'When he asks a question, he is always two steps ahead of the lecture.

'Everyone in the class gets quiet. Poor kid. . . . He sits right in the front row, and they all just look at him.

'He will come to see me during office hours and ask even more detailed questions. And you can tell he's been thinking these things through.

'Kids his age would normally have problems adding fractions, and he is helping out some of his fellow students.'

According to his parents Jake has trouble sleeping at night as he constantly sees numbers in his head.

But far from complaining, Jake has turned the sleepless nights to his advantage - debunking the big bang theory.

The next step, according to professor Ross, is for Jake to leave class altogether and take up a paid research role.

When taking pills can be better than talking

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 13:57:00 +0000

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12716742http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12716742 ...

Children With Tourette Syndrome Have Better Motor Control, Study Finds

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Fri, 25 Mar 2011 12:44:00 +0000

THURSDAY, March 24 (HealthDay News) -- Children with Tourette syndrome perform behavioral tests of cognitive motor control more quickly and accurately than those without the disorder, a new study found.

Tourette syndrome is characterized by repeated involuntary sounds and physical movements called tics, which may involve blinking, grimacing, shrugging, twisting, grunting or -- in rare adult cases -- blurting out swear words.

The enhanced cognitive motor control in people with Tourette syndrome arises from structural and functional changes in the brain that likely result from the need to constantly suppress tics, according to the authors of the study, which was published online March 24 in the journal Current Biology.

"The motor outputs of children with Tourette syndrome are under greater cognitive control. You might view this as their being less likely to respond without thinking, or as being less reflexive," Stephen Jackson, of the University of Nottingham in the United Kingdom, said in a journal news release.

MRI exams also confirmed that the "Tourette's brain" showed changes in the white-matter connections that allowed different brain areas to communicate with each another, Jackson added. The study findings may help explain why some people with Tourette syndrome who have profound tics during childhood are relatively tic-free by early adulthood, while others continue to have severe tics throughout their life, the researchers said.

The findings also suggest that people with Tourette syndrome may benefit from "brain training" techniques that help them gain control of their symptoms.

More Information
The U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke has more about Tourette syndrome.

ADHD Affects Women Differently: What to Look For and How to Fix It

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Thu, 24 Mar 2011 14:12:00 +0000

Millions of adults suffer from this so-called kid's condition that can cause memory problems, depression, and more. Are you one of them? Here's how to find out.

Health.com- Episodes of forgetfulness and distraction happen to all of us, and for most that’s all they are—episodes. But nearly 5 million American women have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, a neuro behavioral condition marked by poor memory, the inability to concentrate on important tasks, and a tendency to fidget and daydream, among other symptoms. For them, this kind of distraction isn't temporary at all and can actually be crippling.

When adult ADHD (or ADD—the H is sometimes omitted because hyperactivity often isn't a symptom, especially in adults) goes untreated for years, women may end up plagued by anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

"They may feel as though they're constantly being judged—as flighty, inept, late, disorganized, scattered," says Tracy Latz, MD, a psychiatrist and associate clinical professor at Wake Forest University Medical Center. And even if women seek help, the condition may go overlooked or be misdiagnosed.

Because women are less likely than men to be classically hyperactive, their symptoms can be more subtle and easily missed. For instance, a woman with ADHD may come off as chatty, peppy, or extroverted, or even as a dreamy, artistic soul. In reality, she may feel deeply frustrated by seemingly simple tasks, from picking out clothes to grocery shopping to keeping files organized at work. And her condition may lead to fights with her spouse or difficulty on the job. (Read more...)

Helping the Easily Angered Child

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 16:56:00 +0000

We all know the type. If we don't have one among our own kids, we have no problem coming up with at least a couple who live on our block or are the children of our close friends. I'm talking about the easily-angered kid.

This is the child who seems to be set off by next to nothing, who goes from fine to furious in less time than it takes to say, "Whoa, let's stay calm."

Children who are quick to anger may be sweet and agreeable, but when the anger gets set off, they turn into raging devils with little control over their actions. Author Dr. Michelle Borba, on her Reality Check blog, lays out 6 Steps to Help Kids Learn Healthier Ways to Display Anger. These include:

Helping the child to identify anger warning signs
Helping him or her recognize potential anger triggers
Developing a feeling vocabulary for him or her
Using time out when inappropriate anger persists
Creating “time in” spots to help alleviate outbursts

(See her blog where she elaborates)
Many of these are skills that a therapist would work on if the child were brought to therapy, but you don't need to be a professional to teach them to your child. One useful tool is using child-freindly books that deal with anger. Those help to explain the concepts relating to anger and the strategies you're suggesting, without making the whole thing into some kind of disciplinary battle. Some helpful books include: When Sophie Gets Angry--Really, Really Angry..., Angry Dragon, A Volcano in My Tummy: Helping Children to Handle Anger, and How to Take the Grrrr Out of Anger (see below).

Pre-Purim Post: You Gotta Laugh

noreply@blogger.com (PsyJew (Bin Goldman, PsyD)) — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 19:19:00 +0000

Laughing is Good

We all love to laugh. But many of us just don't do enough of it.
Laughter has been credited with all sorts of health benefits. It can reduce physical pain by triggering endorphin release. Laughter, involves deep abdominal breathing, instead of the shallow stress breathing that we tend to do when are stressed. It also dilates blood vessels, boosting circulation. All this increases oxygen within the body and brain, and increases energy. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins and other biochemicals, reducing pain and, it's been reported, helping with everything from diabetes, asthma and respiratory complications, hypertension, cardiovascular problems and arthritis to senile dementia.
Most of all, though, laughing just feels good. No matter how terrible your day is going or how pain you are in, if you can manage to get off a good belly laugh, you get pulled into the moment—instant mindfulness—and for that split second, and often longer, you're all good.
Laughter is most often a spontaneous, social behavior. It occurs more in the presence of others, it brings people together, and it is contagious. One bizarre example of just how contagious laughter can be is the "Tanganyika laughing epidemic of 1962" in what is now Tanzania. That hysterical episode started with 3 schoolgirls laughing, but quickly spread to almost 2/3 of the school, with some girls laughing uncontrollably for up to 16 hours. 3 1/2 months later, the girls were still so distracted from their laughing that the school shut down completely. When all was said and done, over a year later, the outbreak had spread to several villages and affected 14 schools and 1,000 people. No joke.

Getting Yourself to Laugh
Laughter, when you're alone, is a little tougher to just conjure out of the blue, but you can do it. One way is to seek out funny things: reading material, TV shows and web videos, stand-up comedy on internet radio or mp3's (although I sometimes find it hard to find material that is really funny—any suggestions would be welcomed). If you're adventurous, or just for a laugh, you can try something called laughing yoga, which involves, that's right, a lot of laughing. The idea for laughing yoga came to Dr. Madan Kataria, a physician from Mumbai, when he was doing medical research on the benefits of laughter. He started a laughing club in the park for 5 people in 1995, and the practice has spread throughout the world.
The gist of laughing yoga is that you get together a large group of people to take advantage of the contagion effect and then begin to laugh. They start with fake laughter, but it quickly turns to the real thing. But reading it doesn't do this stuff justice. Check out this clip of John Cleese, a pretty funny guy himself, visiting a laughing club for BBC.

If you don't happen to have access to a wacky bunch of laughers, check out Dr. Kataria's detailed instructions for "laughing yoga alone" here. (I had some trouble with the link when I posted this, but it looks like it will be temporary, so check back if id doesn't go through. If all you want is someone to laugh with right now (this is the experiential portion of the post), see below.