Jhal-Muri !

Photography & Me

2011-10-07T14:42:00.002+05:30

There are some things in life that you can never do, but still you wish in your dreams. Time Travel is perhaps among the most popular of them. All of us, we have some moments that we always want to go back to. It may be the golden school days, wild college days, or simply surrender yourself to the cool breeze of the beach you visited recently.

However, though science has not invented enough to make this practically feasible, but it has been successful to push the muscle that matters most, the Brain. I call the Camera nothing less than a Time Machine. It gives us the incredible power of capturing a moment with a click and re-visiting the same in years to come.

As a child, almost everyone gets fascinated by this machine. I was gifted a basic point-and-shoot camera when I was as young as 8. Gradually I took up interest in the subject, read some books, borrowed and bought better cameras whenever opportunities came. With a little bit of appreciation from the people around, this sparked a Fire and I became a shutterbug. I think almost everybody who still holds a camera has gone through these phases.

However, recently something happened that made me different.

I was in a national reserve forest with eyes prying to catch the sight of a wild animal. After a long and patient wait, it did appear for an instant. But suddenly I realized that I have lost of sight!

I did capture that instant with the lens of my camera, but I did not see it with my own eyes. The moment came & went away. And there I was, holding the proof of the moment, which I never really experienced!

It struck to me, be it pandal-hopping during the Durga Puja in Kolkata, or be it jungle safari, I was so obsessed with capturing the Moment, that I never really lived them. As if, I was very thirsty, but instead of drinking the water, I was busy accumulating it. And when I tried to take a sip, I discovered that the mug was like a mesh and all the water has seeped away, leaving me thirsty, over-worked and stupid.

After that, I stopped shooting pictures altogether. I live all the moments that come to me, and as Ol' Nature wants, I remember the moments that really means a lot to me and forget the rest! :)

Suits well to a lazy person like me I guess. ;)

New Bengal : A Vision

2011-05-14T02:17:00.000+05:30

Today was a historic day for Bengal. After 34 years of continuous rule, the people of Bengal chose to dethrone CPM. This outcome has overjoyed many, saddened many, but most importantly this has jerked all the parties about the political sensitivity of the people. People are no longer just satisfied with the content of the pre-election manifestos, but they want work to be done, and they're pretty serious about it.

As for a majority class of middle-class people, they are very cautious. Neither too optimistic, nor very pessimistic. They want to give others a chance to play the game, rather than just letting them shout from the boundary-lines. It is very reassuring to see this attitude of the general public that they are ready even to compromise with their decade-old perceptions in the hope for a better tomorrow.

For the evolution of a species, change is inevitable, without which it loses its capability to strive in this world, where with time it becomes more and more difficult to exist. Some changes come automatically, some need a trigger, and some active actions. But, just as water flows freely from a higher altitude to a lower one, situations when left to themselves turns bad to worse. It always needs a positive force to push the things up.

Today, Bengal is in the doorstep of a big change. It is now in our hands where we want it to go. If TMC gets complacent of its formidable victory and takes too long to stop partying and start working, it's run will be cut short prematurely. It is important for them to take a proper grip of the steering, oil the rusty machinery and provide the necessary fuel & then ignite the spark. No doubt it will be a tedious, hard and long process, but every minute of effort will count in the long term. If Bengal can entrust a party for 3 decades, I'm sure (or at least hopeful) that they will have enough patience to wait for the reformed Bengal Machine to move.

However, as always, the chances of failure is very high. TMC can get busy gobbling up the Pie, forgetting that the original reason for their victory was not that most people wanted TMC to win, but many just wanted CPM to go. Only TMC gave a threat to the existence of CPM, hence they won easily, banking on the super-brand Mamata Banerjee, whose primary goal was to oust the ruling party at any cost. Throughout her political career, she has operated in the most challenging situations, and considered attack as the best defense. At every opportunity, she has made sure that CPM was duly embarrassed, punished and the whole act get well publicized. I admire her single-minded approach, persistence to the fighting spirit and also most of her strategies. A true warrior she is. But the problem is, a whole kingdom cannot be run only by the King in the smallest details. It needs a good team, intelligent strategists and some wise people. This is where TMC can face the biggest challenge.

Comparatively a new party, a conglomerate of floating politicians, intellectuals, popular figures and muscle-men, it is still lacking in the gluons that will hold the nucleus together. Party-men will have to temporarily forget about the party's sole welfare and think about the public to take some positive steps to keep them interested. They need to deliver short-term, plan for the long-term and always keep an eye on the clock, which always keeps ticking.

Other than this, there is an imminent possibility of a strong destructive opposition from CPM. Unlike a good opposition which criticizes for the betterment of the State and encounter probable injurious actions, a bad opposition can stop positive executions too and create a situation of a deadlock, where the public suffers eventually. TMC haven't been a very good opposition in this respect, and undertook many actions only to increase the count in their vote bank. On the other hand, CPM already having a strong base in the state, it won't require as much effort to win the counts back. It can cash-in heavily on every minute mistake that TMC in power may make. Here the challenge becomes even more difficult for the new ruling party. And I'm sure whenever CPM gets the next chance in administration, they will be very keen to deliver, which is the only guaranteed positive outcome of their defeat.

Like many people in Bengal, I dont really care who sits on the chair. I just want to see my state wake up from the long slumber, shake-off her chains and start to rise.

The idea of a party gulping the whole of Bengal is now fragile. People are now so sensitive that the balance can tilt any side, any time. Only sweet words will no more suffice to fill the Bengal Cerebrum, which has already accepted change as a part of Life. Now the question is, whether the parties accept it too.

In Search of The Divine : The Sounds of Silence (Part 3)

2010-05-15T11:47:00.000+05:30

Vibration is another word for Existence.

According to some fundamental laws of Physics, for every strand of energy and matter there is vibration. Be it sound, be it light or be it atoms – a unique vibration defines them all. Assimilation of these uncountably infinite number of waves, sewn over billions of years of Space-Time, lays the fabric of our perceivable Universe.

As we all know, there are an infinite number of integers in the number system. But at the same time, there are again an infinite number of fractional numbers between any two consecutive integers. Similarly, in this seemingly infinite physical universe, all of us are entities who are themselves a well of infinite potential. As most of us tread in the shallow depths of our Being, hedges of confusion and ignorance have grown a layer and covers the entrance to the undiscovered depths, thus conveying a false perception of the actual reality.

As we dive deeper, piercing through the thick thorny layers of accumulated bramble, most of us yield to the bruises that the Journey impose on us in the attempt, while the persistent one carries on forward, challenging the limits of his endurance.

At the end of it all, one may expect Divine Bliss, a grand orchestra of heavenly music that fills up his mind, body and soul; but all he encounters is a sudden, utter Silence! An absolute Nothingness!

This is the Period of Silence.

All noise, all commotion dies at the doorstep of this stage. Like the sudden rain after a torrid and searing summer, like the sudden stop after hours of deafening rock music, this Nothingness gives a pleasant jolt, so soothing that it revitalizes your entire consciousness. You’re freed of all materialistic earthly thoughts and worries, all the strings are cut loose that attach you to the breeding ground of germs that eats your core every day, every moment. A peaceful calmness surges through your nerves. You levitate into the Stratosphere of your existence.

This period of silence purifies and nourishes you and for the first time you feel so full, yet to empty! All the heavy stones from your Being have been removed, and you float freely like a feather, effortlessly in all the dimensions.

Gradually, you start to discover happiness everywhere, in every thought in every pace you take! The same old things are perceived differently, you can see yourself playing your small part in the Grand Theatre of the Universe. You discover the String that binds them all, the subtle tunes of the Divine Flute that makes the world dance to its rhythm.

All struggle, all confusions, all doubts come to an end. Now you are able to fathom the Unity in all Diversity, and you find yourself sinking happily in the Sounds of Silence…

Finally, the Darkness gives way, you embrace the Dawn of the Divine in the horizons of your consciousness.

Epilogue:
Some billions of years ago, in the grand event of a beautiful Singularity, our universe was created, out of Nothing! Seemingly, it had defied all laws of Physics to be pregnant with what we are today. But on deeper analysis, it yields that all agents were there in the Nothingness itself! It just needed some Divine Calibration in the Universal Machinery to set off the Spark.

Every individual, every one of us has all the ingredients necessary to explode the Eternal Happiness that resides within. We just need to find the right calibration to initiate the Spark!

In Search of The Divine : Isolation (Part 2)

2010-05-15T11:46:00.000+05:30

If you take a lump of metal and perform numerous chemical reactions on it, the results would be similar to another metal that fits into the periodic table in a similar group. Only when you break down the lump to its atoms, that it shows the characteristics truly unique to that element.

The external manifestations of our daily activities reveal only a part of the mystery that lies deep inside, astounding and unimaginable.

Just like the lump, which we need to tear down to its atoms, to perform the analysis of the Self and reach the core of our Being, we need to shake off all the other super-incumbent forces, which tame our natural self in every way. Hence the need for Isolation.

Isolation does not mean to be lonely physically, and not even mentally! Isolation is the state in which you can differentiate the unique color of your paintbrush from the thousands of others’ in the canvas of your consciousness. By knowing your own color, your vision and judgment remains unblurred by the blotches of attachments, desires and emotions that cloud every sphere of your existence.

When in the calm of your mind, you blot the canvas with your inner wisdom, only your unique color remains.

All of a sudden a beautiful harmony and gorgeous pattern unveils itself amongst all the chaotic scribbles.

Now you are ready to decipher the code that would open the Pandora’s Box, lying Within!

In Search of The Divine (Part 1)

2010-05-15T11:44:00.000+05:30

Essentially, there are two kinds of Beauty : One, that would make you jealous, that would arouse your desire to possess it, eat it, smell it, touch it - that would suffocate your sensuality and rationality until you can declare "It is mine!".

The other, will just make you admire its sheer Presence. It would flush all other thoughts off your mind and you would lose yourself in its aura.

No matter how objectively you try to assert that you only admire the red Ferrari, subtle or not, you will definitely have the strong desire to be behind its wheel and to be in control of that beautiful beast! But, stand in front of an ocean, or beneath a snow-white, seemingly topless mountain, and you would just keep gazing at it...

In the daily hustle and bustle of life, the inner calm always gets discomposed by the ripples and waves of restlessness. But, amidst the overwhelmingly Absolute, everything becomes perfectly serene and carries a subtle mesmerizing refreshing fragrance of peace and happiness.

This is when we are ready to perceive The Divine.

Parables of a Survivor in Chennai : Part 1

2009-10-17T07:06:00.000+05:30

When the train (Satabdi Express) was reaching Chennai, the view of the city from our AC compartment was almost like Kolkata. In fact some of our friends were shouting "Dhakuria Bridge" , "Howrah" etc when very similar structures were noticed. However, when I came offboard from our comfortable AC capsule, the noise, the polluted air, the humidity ll struck me at once!

The company had arranged for a bus for more than 40 employees. But I think they forgot we were not individuals but accompanied by our luggages. And by luggages I mean the whole "family stores" that was accumulated in Mysore over a period of over 6 months. I was fortunate enough to retain more or less the same amount (a backpack, a huge suitcase & a sidebag) that I carried from kolkata. But people, especially girls brought as much as 9 huge bags for a single individual ! God bless them !

It was clearly deduced that in the bus there will be room for either us or our luggages. Both could not be carried at the same time ! So we started stashing the bags, and soon enough 3/4th of the bus got filled up ! However, in the meanwhile a Tamil guy called up the Infosys person responsible for this miscalculation, who ofcourse denied to accept the fault in his part and blamed on miscommunication. However, after an hour of waiting at the station, a similar bus came and we were on our way to Mahindra City, cutting through the heart of Chennai.

Chennai was just like any other metro city. Lots of buildings, people, banks, stores, road-side restaurants, narrow/wide streets. Even those Bengali friends in between started shouting "Dalhousie" when a very similar structure was seen. However there was no "Howrah Bridge" or "Hoogly Bridge" or even "Victoria" here !

It took almost 2 hours to reach Mahindra City. We were travelling in a National Highway very similar to the EM Bypass. There was huge green fields on both sides and scarcely populated areas. Even the "Dhapa" smell of perceived in some places in the journey. However, Mahindra City was completely different from the other parts. It is a well maintained sector, adorned by huge dazzling buildings, modern infrastructure and an international look. But after almost 7 hours of journey we were too tired to look around when we reached. All our bags were checked in the entrance of our hostels (Employee Care Centre). And atlast we got into our rooms, a double bed room (for the first time). However as usual, everything was fantastic in the hostels with everything you need, from instant tea/coffee to scribble-pads. I took a warm shower and turned on the AC and jumped on the cozy soft bed (that sinks 6 inches when you get into it) and went to sleep for the first time in Chennai.

The next morning was at 9am. Initially we went to take a look around the campus. But immediately we realised it was no more Mysore and our skin started responding adversely showing rep burning patches. So we left the plan for evening, had some breakfast and started looking for a flat. It is a long story in itself. We started to know Chennai, its cultural differences.

Coming Up :

1. Chennai in the first few days : The Cultural Adversity

2. The Horrible House Search : The Broker Theory

3. The Campus : Lighter & Darker Side

But you have to respond suitably to let me know that you're really reading everything, and then only I'll write more!

Love,
Vivek

Parables of a Survivor in Chennai : Part 2

2009-09-21T22:55:00.001+05:30

Chennai : The Cultural Adversity

Most of the Bengalis are a sort of gourmet. Naturally, people who are addicted to the 'Daal-Bhaat-Maacher-Jhol' diet, Chennai has been (and perhaps always be) a nightmare ! However, blessed are the people who get to live at least in the main Chennai City, where plenty of Bengali communities have grown up over the ages. Seems like we are the one chosen to go through the toughest tests a 'shanto-shisto-niriho' Bengali could have endured...

First let me give a view of where Mahindra CIty is. Let's visualise the Chennai Central railway station, almost adjacent to the beach (1 Km away). Now from Chennai Central you start going to the south west. After about 30Km (1 hr by bus/train) you reach a town called Tambaram. You continue in the same straight line, and after 6 Km you reach Urapakkam. It is also a developing town. Again after about 5 Km there is MM Nagar (a big south indian name). Next after 5 Km is Singaperuma-Kol. Then after 4 Km Mahindra City main gate. Next in 6 Km is Chengalpattu.

You must be feeling dizzy by now in the details. But know this : In the hottest period of the day, when the sun was dazzling directly above our blessed heads and evaporating the least amout of brain-matter we had, all of us had to visit all these god-forsaken places to just avoid shelling out Rs.1000 per day per person which the Office Guest House would be deducting directly from our salary in case we failed to check out on Friday. We desparately needed a place to put our bodies (especially the luggages) in the non-office hours !

People here understands only Tamil. We understand only 1 Tamil word : "Tamil-teriyaat". Ironically this means "I dont understand Tamil." !

If you try to speak Hindi, they'll frown and give you a dirty look. It is said that they think we 'foreigners' are taking away all the jobs of their people, we do not follow any religion, we dont have any culture, we are reckless, we are all ill-mannered, we are drunkards, we create hell in where we live. In few words we are the living examples they set to their next generation what not to be !

Hence there was no way of communication as English language was non-existent to them, Hindi they hated, Tamil we do not know, and seems like they've skillfully developed a different (Tamil version) of sign-language too ! Their "yes" means swaying heads to the sides, their "no" means swaying heads to the sides, but in a 15 degree angle ! We are engineers all right, but seems like they have a much evolved sense of measurement !

However, amidst our countless miseries we are blessed with a fellow Bengali who is the only one that can make out & speak Tamil Abhishek Palit (he had the great achievement of surviving 4 years in Chennai in his college days!!) While in Mysore campus, he was the underdog. Hardly few people knew about his existence. But here, he is the Local Hero, our Saviour Jesus Christ ! You could clearly make out a vast difference in his attitude, his body language, his linguistics and even his accent from the moment his importance was realised ! He knew he was The One, and he was obviously enjoying it !

Anyway, as I have no further intention to bore you with the finer details of our hundreds of hours of torture and miseries, I'm briefing the inferences from the many experiences that we had in our several road-adventures throughout the past 5 days :

1. Here the bus conductor does not come to ask for your ticket. You have to come to him and pay the respects. They have a fixed seat in the bus, even if some lady or kid sits in it, he makes a rough hand-gesture indicating to vacant his presiding throne !

2. The bus source-destination and even the demarcation of ladies/gents seats, all are written in the blessed Tamil Fonts. So after once we caught some very hor fiery Tamil words for sitting in a seat pre-sitted by a gentleman (which later turned out to be a ladies' seat), we preferred to stand in the bus-journey.

3. People here think we Infoscions get 50K-60K per month, as clearly mentioned later by our Bungalow-owner (later we tried our best to convinced her that accumulating five of us we really did get that amount, but individually maybe our boss's boss would fall short of the salary they conceive !).

4. Just opposite of what pre-conception we had, these people are very bad hosts (especially to 'foreigners' like us), are blessed with least grey-matter and more air in their huge craniums (in Vodaphone service centre, it took exactly 27 minutes and 4 different operators to make them understand that I do not know Tamil and I can understand only English or Hindi & I want to know my billing details).

5. Never travel in auto-rickshaws. There is no fixed rate. It will vary according to the financial impression you will give them in your self-presentation. And if you turn out to be a 'foreigner', voila ! Its Jackpot !

6. The weather now, almost 36 degrees, is very 'cool & comfortable'. They feel summer is very hot. Few friends have already got heat strokes in this 'comfortable' weather. Let's not even talk about summer in here. Personally I think, to avoid pre-matured death I'd be 'working' in the office for 24*7 in the whole summer. God bless the office ACs !

This is more than enough for you to digest and relish the visualisation of our existence in Chennai.

I will write more, but I demand a suitable response as your token of receipt and interest.

God has been very kind to you that you are far from this place.

Coming up :
1. The Horrible House Search
2. The Campus : Lighter & Darker Side

Regards
Vivek Panda

Parables of a Survivor in Chennai : Part 3

2009-09-21T22:54:00.000+05:30

The Campus : Lighter & Darker Sides

Infosys has been very consistent in its construction of DCs (Developing Centres) all over India. It may not be area-wise (which varies from as much as 350 acres in Mysore to 25 acres in Bhubaneswar), but in its internal components. It uses the same brands everywhere in every little detail. Ranging from the Dell / Acer Machines to Crabtree bathroom apparels, it is always exactly the same.

Mahindra City DC is of medium size ( 129 acres ). It has 2 huge food-courts and 5 huge SDBs (Software Developing Buildings). There is a Guest-House (called ECC or Employee Care Centre) which can currently accomodate over a 1000 employees and is still extending its wings. This is one of the newest DCs that Infosys has constructed. You can still see bits of footpath being constructed here and there. But as a whole, I think the DC is well designed and well implemented.

For example, let me mention one of the implementations I'm talking about : As everybody knows, Chennai is very hot. Though there are a plenty of big umbrellas available outside every building, but is still falls short. Hence people allergic to too much sun are liable to catch sickness in the sunny days. I think, taking this in mind, the buildings are constructed in such a way that follows the same straight line (i.e. are collinear to each other). If you want to avoid the sun, instead of taking the straight road, you can just go through the buildings one by one till you reach your destination.

The map of the campus is very simple. It is roughly like the human rib-cage. The spine is the main road and the ribs are the buildings adjacent to the road. As simple as that ! Other than that, there are 4 gates, 2 of which lets the employee out to the Mahindra City main road which reaches the the Mahindra City entrance if you follow it in a straight line. As this is built in a similar pattern of Indus Valley Civilization, roads cutting in right angles and following square / rectangular blocks as building plots, it is easily mappable in the mind.

There is plenty of implanted greenery in and around the Campus, definitely much less than Mysore, but still appreciable. There are frequent long bamboo-bushes providing a soothing canopy-like shelter to the smokers. However, people enjoy a vast freedom here. Unlike Mysore, there is no security-man in every nook and corner giving a sharp whistle if you step down from the footpath and walk on the road, in the night-time you can virtually smoke anywhere (ofcourse not within the buildings). People bring food in their offices, sleep in their cubicles or keep chatting without any intervention from anyone to be scared of ! After all, this is not a training place anymore, this is a working DC (as stated by our BP-HR) !

There in Mysore, you would see young people everywhere doning one of the seven coloured tags (white, green, yellow, red, orange, blue, brown). But everyone here has only black tags, and a high percentage of them are middle-aged and hardly speak words ... moving as in a trance or a mechanical robot ! If you ever visited any of the food-courts in the lunch time at Mysore, you would have to literally shout the words to make it audible in 2 feet. But here the food-courts are very quiet, the silence broken time to time by the mechanical announcement of token numbers of food-collectors. Previously we all had the experience of standing in huge lines to get the food, but here they supply tokens when you pay, and then in due time your token number will be announced and you can get your food without any hassle. The system is very effective, but not implemented in Mysore ( I think ) bacause the announcement would have died within the continuous roar of the chatterings that trainees had.

Mysore DC, a residence to over 12,000 trainees was always vibrant with life. Here te first thing that strikes us is this void of Lifelessness. In the night, the whole place is deserted, hardly a person (in charge of some security or foodcourt attendant) or two can be seen roaming around here and there. Other than that, the buildings have only lights in the ground floors, and maybe some random cubicles are lighted here and there ( all the buildings are either transparent or translucent ). A gentle breeze playing with your hair, and the decorative fishes in the well-maintained artificial ponds making some arbitrary bubbling sound. Other than this nothing is visible or audible. When we reflect back into the experiences we had in the past six months, we feel so dull and morose. There is not even a single pretty girl who can be the topic of a discussion for atleast half-an-hour !

The food here is very costly. It would take atleast 50 bucks if you opt for a chicken item and 2 parathas, contrary to 28 bucks for he same menu in Mysore. In FC (foodcourt) 1, there is a outlet called Clay Oven, only where the food is edible for us non-South-Indians. In FC2, which is a complete huge building by itself, there is a good variety of snacks like pastries & burgers & patties, but hardly 4/5 varities of North Indian dishes.

We went through an initial phase of denial (from Bhubaneswar) and then frustration (in the news of the Bhubaneswar guys already getting projects of American Express in BCMD unit whereas our induction has not even been initiated), and finally forced acceptance. We have now grown on the fact that we have to survive here, and we literally take pride in saying that after this we can survive anywhere in any condition ! Nothing can be worse than Chennai ! If they now put in any damned place, it would be heaven compared to here!

This may not be the truth, but this is the only consolation we get. Nothing to do, other than looking for houses and watching TV in the AC guesthouses (which will unavailable from the next week as our bungalow dont have neither AC nor TV), and swiping in/out daily. We pray that we get some good heavy work that will distract our mind and make it numb from building any complexes inside and keep us sane for the coming atleast 12 months.

Sometimes, we wonder, "God, why me ??!!"

--------------------------------------

I am sorry for the lack of the least humour in this edition of my report. I know, for general readers this is too boring and too much informative, but still I would urge you to respond to this so that I can have enough inspiration to complete my last part of the on-going accounts.

Coming up next :
The Horrible House Hunt

Regards
Vivek Panda

Parables of a Survivor in Chennai Part 4 : The Final Testament

2009-09-21T22:51:00.000+05:30

It would be unwise not to mention the funniest part regarding this particular email.

Originally I wrote it more than a week back. But I decided not to send it that early because people tend to get bored with reading long stories, especially when it has nothing to do with their own lives. So I decided to give them a break.

But just few days back when I got the offer from Cognizant to join in Kolkata, I could not resist to write the 'Twist in the Tale' part. Whatever I have written here under this topic, was actually my first reaction.

But after speaking to a lot of people, I got very confused and was in a great dilemma. In fact, there was a stage when I had met my HR and actually said "I want to resign. Please guide me through the official formalities." !! I also have the resignation letter still saved in my draft folder. But, again in a dilemma, just before clicking on the 'Send' button, I started re-thinking. I called up the Cognizant HR, who (thankfully) said that there is absolutely no guarantee that I would be posted to Kolkata after completion of my training there. So, it appeared pointless to take this risk and start my career afresh in another (in fact smaller) company. But, after a meeting with my delivery manager, I found the work to be very non-challenging, so I again started thinking about resigning! Hahahaha!!!

However, some of the people, including my parents, friends and relatives gave me a lot of strength to stick to the original decision. And now, here I am, back to square one, coincidentally matching exactly with the original decision! (Yesterday, I met the HR again and told him "I decided to stay." He gave me a pat on the back, shook my hand and said, "Welcome back again!". Coincidentally, the HR's name is also Vivek! )

Another twist is that, I am going to Kolkata anyway, in fact I will reach there just after 2 days, and in a leave of 16 days (who says Infosys is not like a government job? :P ) !!! My ticket in Coromondal Express just got confirmed a few minutes back.

Kolkata, here I come ! Behold Durga Puja !

Hahahahaha !!!!

________________________________

The Horrible House Hunt : The Final Testament

The three most basic things that a man wants is : food , shelter & sex. Well, in my previous accounts I have covered the fooding part here. I'll be omitting the 'sex' part too as I have had no experience so far !

First of all, from the moment we stepped out of our hostels in Mysore, we knew that time has come for mutual compromises. In a far-away foreign land, where there is hardly any resemblance to our accustomed culture and language, it would be very difficult (if not impossible) to thrive alone. Moreover, the company has not blessed us with a handsome amount of money, which makes most of the things simple ! Hence, the only way to our survival is to live in a group and compromise for each other.

Though we are only 11 familiar people here (language-wise & college-wise), but still there exists a 6+5 further sub-grouping. Anyway, me belonging to the smaller group which was also void from the non-existence of the Tamil-spoken Abhishek Palit, it was initially difficult for us to go out and fix things. But, thanks to him, later he did help us out a lot.

From the first day in here, we noticed our bank balance decreasing almost as much as our receding hairlines ( the fallen hair being accumulated in the bathroom drains and the spent money being accumulated in the vendors' cash boxes). Thus there had to be a way to atleast save one of them. None of us being dermatologists, helplessly we entrusted our hair to the big brands of anti-hairfall shampoos. But being in full control of our money (hardly so, but there's a consolation we get in saying this ! ), we decided to put one or several sharp bumpers in the route of passage of the money to the said vendors.

We had started looking for flats from the first day we put our feet down in this blessed land. Before coming here, we had done some research on the place, however, as most researchers know, theory cannot be implemented unless faced with the practical facts. We had done many calculations before coming here, but all the equations broke down in this black hole of a place.

One of our friends, Arijit, had arranged for a flat for himself in a place called Sylvan County, which is in just the opposite footpath of the Infosys main gate. It is the only residential area in the Mahindra City SEZ. On the first day, we were ready to shell out about 4500 each for our shelter (which was excluding the maintainance and electricity charges). We went to the office and directly asked for contact numbers of the flat owners who are ready to give their flats for rent. They gave us a list of only 15 people, in which a single person had appeared four times. Hence the actual number of 'house-lords' came down to 12. More or less happy with this finite list (we actually had thought that the list would be close to infinite !), we started ringing them up one by one.

(I'm grouping similar cases together, which may not be the actual chronology of the calls) :
The first 4 persons were kind enough to cut the call short while it was still ringing, perhaps as a symbolic gesture that they weren't interested ! The 5th person started shouting (seems like he had had enough calls lately), the 6th owner said he would not rent anything to the bachelors, the 7th & 8th person said their flats were already rented. 9th & 10th persons' mobile numbers were non-existent.

Yes, only ONE person (holding 4 flats) was interested in us ! But as it turned out, our interest dried up as fast as water does in desert sand, when he quoted his price. He demanded 36,000 as the room fare for a 3BHK apartment, and only 3,60,000 as the initial deposit. As per simple arithmetic calculations, each of us had to pay an initial amount of 66,000 to get it. Laughing at each other, we couldn't help but cut the phone in his face as soon as this realization appeared in our minds' calculators. Then I called him again. I told him, the quote he was making, was more than 120% of the salary the company would pay us in a year! And if divided by six, we cumulatively would be able to pay at max the amount that was calculated for each individual ! He was disinterested. Hence our quest for Sylvan County faced an unprecedented immature termination.

We knew nothing about this place. Barren lands everywhere, the only choice that immediately came to our minds was to go to the HR and ask him for extended accomodation in the hostels or threaten him of resigning from the company. When we actually went to him, the young person, who ironically was my namesake, gave a nice smile and said that extension can be readily granted but on deduction of Rs.1000 from each of our salary per day of stay here ! We felt like jumping over his head like Obelix and implant him in the tiled floor of the room he was standing in. Frustrated, demoralised, desparate, we moved out hastily and angrily whamming the poor lift button on our way down. Perhaps the torture was predicted on that button, as it was metallic and gave a sharp jab back to me, faithfully abiding by Newton's Third Law of Motion. Now hurt inside and outside, I felt like blasting like a over-aerated balloon.

Now started the true adventure. Roaming in the sizzling streets and highway, dirt leaving their marks on every inch of our clothing and shoes, we were like half-lunatic gypsies traversing the barrens of the Mahindra City outskirts.

We badly needed a modem (MOdulator-DEModulator) to interpret and encode in the Tamil language. As Palit was busy looking for their own group's house, he was unavailable. Hence we needed a broker. But hardly we knew, that ranging from the vegetable-stall owner on the road to the Infosys sweeper, either is a broker himself or has contacts of dozens of them! Intially ignorant of this fact, we started taking random samples from our surroundings and we were very elated when the hit-rate came very close to 100% ! We deduced that nobody had their paternal homes nearby in this blessed place and most of them travelled a long distance ( from as far as Tambaram ) by train or bus everyday to get here. But they had one thing in common, which we did not. They were accustomed to the weather. The blazing sun, which forced us to hide under a shelter for every metre we walked, the same sun appeared very cool and comfortable to them at this time of the year. Hence, keeping in mind the fast adaptability of the human body, still it was impossible for us to travel long distance to office.

The initial search began with a phone number provided by Ananya, girlfriend of Dhona. The contact person's name was Dominic, who later turned out was igonorant of both English & Hindi, as usual (even names can be deceiving !). We went to SP Kovil bus-stop and after asking (chanting the name 'Dominic') a score of shop-owners and pedestrians, at last somebody pointed out the supposedly right place. On the first knocking of the door, we were welcomed by a continuous bark of a terrier, who was very willing to come to us (and do nothing very pleasing for us guests! ), but God bless the iron gate, his boundary was well-defined within it. Feeling a sense of security, one of our friends Anubrata, took the opportunity to teach the dog a dictionary a acid-words in our mother-tongue ! As well guessed by you, the dog wasn't much pleased, and continued in its efforts of driving us away from the vicinity. However, after some considerable time, a humanly face appeared from behind a door and said something in Tamil. We just repeated on saying "House Rent", and god bless the woman, after repeating only a dozen times she made enough gesture to let us know that the flat was already rented. Thus ended our first effort. In vain, of course!

Anurag, the unfortunate guy from Madhya Pradesh, who was the only one in his friends' group to have adorned Mahindra City (whereas all his friends got in Hyderabad, just 2hours away from his home), somehow got a number of a local broker from a senior friend. He turned up in a 18th Century Bike after 40 minutes of waiting (we had given up almost all hopes and were back counting the time to our melting in the mid-day sun). He told us to go to the Urapakkam bus-stand. When we reached there by a bus, he pointed to some big blue buildings 800 metres away and wheezed off. No umbrella, no cap, nothing to give any respite, without food all day and thriving on Britannia cakes & cold drinks & chips, we picked up ourselves and dragged to our new destination.

Surprisingly, we liked the place at the first sight. The 12-floored buildings (total 4 in number) were such built and almost at any time of the day, the huge open space in between the buildings was under a shade. A cool strong breeze was blowing. If we did not have the pangs of hunger in our stomachs, after the long walks and tiresome journeys, we would have surely fallen asleep there! It took almost an hour for the broker to bring the keys. But, god bless their holy minds, the key to the outer grill of the entrance was missing in the cluttering collection of about 30 keys that he had brought! It took another 30minutes to arrange for a hammer, and for the first time in my life, I witnessed the breaking down of a 8-lever strong lock with the application of crude human labour! The lock revolted with sharp rotations and shrill metallic sounds, but gave in after about 15 more minutes of battle. You should have witnessed this : A small 4 square inch of a lock versus 2 fully grown south-indians battling each other, a grand scene indeed!

The unfurnished flat was spacious, more or less airy, and livable and decently priced at 12,000. We all liked it. The society around was also apparently civilized. But later, it turned out to be too civilized as many constraints were imposed upon us. Cooking non-veg items was stricly prohibited. Some timings were given for checking in and out of the place and no guests were allowed inside. It was okay with us, but the biggest constraint still protruding was the distance from the campus. It would take atleast 20-25minutes by bus to reach the Mahindra City main gate. It was too much for us. Anyway, showing our eagerness to book the flat, we checked out to see our other options.

In the same region, we entered another group of flats. They were fully furnished with cupboards, TV, washing machine, cots etc and quoting a decent price of 3000 per head. The owner was also very leniant on us non-vegetarians for mentioning (let me quote directly) "You can also kill any animal inside my flat, I have no issues with that !" Killing exactly was not in our lists so far (apart from killing our HRs in Mysore & here), but as that was now granted, we thought to give a serious second thought to that, and started thinking of a place to dispose off the bodies! Showing our eagerness to book the flat, we moved on to the last option for the day. The greatest surprise !

It was a bachelor's heaven! An independant bungalow with huge internal decorations, AC in every bedroom, fully furnished rooms with satin bedsheets, cozy couches and a TV connection with one year subscription of Tata-Sky paid in advance ! It appeared to be a King's palace in this region. The price was a decent 22,000 with an advance of 1,00,000. If anyone would have taken my side, I would have booked it immediately. But having options in living cheaper, people from the group opted out. I was very sad initially. But my whole month's salary was less than 22K and there was fooding costs too (if it wasn't I'd have lived there myself alone), so I had to accept that this was not going to be my place. We ended our house-hunt for the day.

Having the three options we chatted late into the night that day. And we arranged for other options the next day also. By this time, the other group had finalized a independant bungalow for themselves at a superb price of 12,000. The place was awesome, with ACs in 3 bedrooms and spacious rooms, well planned halls and kitchens and a nice terrace. The only constraints being too close to the rail-lines and having nothing in the surroundings. Within vast empty fields there was this building, completely surrounded by darkess at night. There was no locality. On the other hand,there was also nobody to ask questions and frown at your lifestyle. You could be completely at peace with yourself. We were jealous!

Next day, finally we got our place to stay. An orange building ( I dont know why the people here have an inclination towards fluroscent colours, especially when it comes to colouring the buildings! Right from the first day when we stepped in Chennai, we all noticed fluroscent green and fluroscent orange coloured buildings. Hardly did we guess then that we ourselves would have to stay in something like that! ). Anyway, this unfurnished independant house was overall decent, very near to the Mahindra City main gate (5 minutes walk) and had 2bedrooms, 3bathrooms, 1 puja-room, 1 hall, a car-parking space and a big terrace. We had to pay a rent of 9000 per month and an initial deposit of 40,000. There was 3/4 buildings nearby, mostly barren and a nice view of the hills nearby. We were more or less happy with the location and price. We would enjoy unlimited freedom in our actions (without causing any damage to the house property, of course) and also zero social disturbance.

Epilogue :

As this account was too much extended, you must have by now developed a sore eye (assuming you read every word I've written) like I have developed sore fingers. But it gives me an immense relief on penning (read: typing) down the whole story vividly as this deserved to be told in case we failed to survive in Chennai.

Sometimes, you may think that Life is doing very injustice to you, putting you through the toughest tests and making you suffer and demanding great sacrifices for every little achievement. But, what we fail to see that if you take all this in the right positive attitude, it makes you stronger. As one of my idols, Einstein puts it : "If I were to lead a layman to the path of success that I know, I would rather lead him through the sufferings and pains that I have been through instead of the short-cuts that I have learnt with experience now. Because it will make him appreciate the achievement at the end of the day." Sometimes maybe the destination is not so important as the way to reach it is.

Twist in the Tale :

In the Campus selections, I got placed in two IT companies. First was Cognizant, and the second Infosys. As Cognizant office was in our hometown Kolkata, most of us waited anxiously for its joining date. But deceiving all of us, it finally intimated the joining date (by the time we already had 3 months experience in Infosys) almost 15 months late of our passing out from college. So, thinking it would not honour our offers, we had joined Infosys. Moreover, Cognizant had posted us in Chennai. Being in Chennai already and passing the Infosys training successfully, there was no point switching companies.

But, just 2 days back I had a pleasant shock ! Cognizant sent a mail notifying that my joining date has been pre-poned to 29th September and I'll be posted to Kolkata !

After going through all the hardships here, and having no guarantee of being assigned to a project immediately, it was obviously very tempting for me to re-think. The comfort of my own home, being surrounded by the people I love, and the food that brings peace to my stomach and the last but not the least, saving almost 90% of the salary ... all these were too strong temptations to avoid.

I could resign here and also refuse to pay the bond-money, resulting being black-listed in this company, which means I will be never re-considered for re-hiring here (which doesnt matter anyway to me, as I have plans of higher studies ).

But, after giving a lot of thought, I've decided to stay in Infosys.

It is very shameful for me to leave the battle unfought. I want to see a winner when I face myself in the mind's mirror at the end of the day. I refuse to accept defeat ... I will fight the toughest conditions here and I want to explore the limits of my endurance. I will leave this place with honour, dignity and with a bigger offer somewhere else. I want to re-embrace Kolkata as a winner. Not now, not like this. I am a fighter. I want to prove myself. A fighter does not compromise with honour and step back. There is plenty of time to live a comfortable life.

We have to stay here in Chennai Mahindra City for atleast an year (if we choose to switch companies) or two (if we want an inter-DC transfer). I have accepted my fate and as I've always believed in the fighting-spirit of a true martial-artist, I take pride in saying :

"Come ye waves of trials and challenges ... for I am ready."
(Grandmaster Oyama)

Love,
Vivek

P.S. : Please give me a feedback on my trial to portray the story to you. I would really appreciate your response.

Regards
Vivek Panda

Where I Belong ...

2008-09-29T23:08:00.000+05:30

When I go out
In a crowd of People -
They seem to be so full of Life,
But Lifeless
To me !

Like the plastic models
Doning dresses
In the windows of the shops -
These people
Who are so full
Of laughter, love, sorrows,
All seem so plastic
To me !

Simple sounds uttered from the mouth-
Words,
Can cause a tear
Or a warm laugh !

A simple action
May kill a person,
Or save one -

They all are so caged
By their Senses.
Their lives are led
Not by their Own,
But dragged by their instincts !

Emotions, Passions -
These are the products
Of our senses,
Mixed with a pinch of our wild Mind !

As Life goes on,
Our Mind changes,
Hence changes the Ingredient -
Causing a changing set
Of different emotions and passions
(Though those senses work in the same old fashioned way ! )

What We Are
Lives deep inside -
Not in the shallow depths
Where our instincts spoil the flavour.

What We Are
Lives deep inside -
Not where our life rushes forward
Giving not a moment
To introspect
And think over
Our actions.

What We Are
Lives deep inside -
Not where what we do
And what we think
Are mostly guided not by us,
But what we Should do
And what we Should think.

Gone are the days
When we can sit belong a tree
In its cool shadow
With the breeze playing with our hairs -
Not a sound
Other than those of the birds maybe -
Sitting quietly,
Eyes closed
Or open (it doesn't matter)
And treading
Deep Inside
Into What We Are.

But enough of this rubbish now -
Get up, Run
Else you would miss the Bus
Called Life.

But let me be,
Let me stay,
Utterly Alone,
Where I Belong -
In the Depths of Eternity.

The Little Birdy ... Part 1

2008-04-11T22:50:00.000+05:30

There is a little Bird.

As free as rain,
As light as the air,
As gay as the leaves in the wind.

She started off with her mother,
Who'd teach her to fly
Away from her nest,
But again to return safe
At the end of the day...

She had a very few friends,
Some other little birdies,
Her neighbours.

They'd fly away
From a place to another :
Viewing the world from the top
But untouched herself...
Ah! She was so happy!

She grew up a little.
Now, she wanted a Shelter
With whom she could feel at home:
That'd be her friend, guide
And provide her with
Protection, Hope & Assurance
At the End of the Day.

The Silent Search was on...
But, as she was still
A Little Birdie,
Her little wings would ache
On going too far.

But one day,
While she was on
Her search trip...
A huge cloud
Came over the place.

Deafening thunders
Tearched through
The Black Sky.
She ran and ran
As fast she could
For a shade.

All the tress were swaying madly,
Almost about to break loose from the ground...
The branches were full of green leaves
Assuring a safe yet risky shelter.

Just then
She came across a tree
Or was it a tree at all?

It was as black as coal,
As lifeless as a graveyard,
As empty as a deserted house.

It was ugly,
Completely leafless
Stricken by lightenings
Hundreds of times.
But it was strong
And utterly alone.

The little birdy thought:
"What a similarity!
Both of us so alone...
Perhaps I could make a change..."

She went to that tree,
Clung hard to its lifeless branches
Fought the storm
All through the night.
They both got
Drenched in the rain,
Battered by the storm.

For the next few days,
The Little Birdy would come
And spend her time
With the tree :s o alone,
It'd sing in its branches,
Chirp at his ears...
Just her presence
Made it so full
Of Life !

But the selfish tree
Did not care to thank her
For being there with him
Throughout the night
Or even in the days
When the sun was scorching
Not only his dry skin,
But also the tender little birdy.

Who knows?
Maybe the Ungrateful Tree
Enjoyed her presence
And the great attention he got
From the little birdy.

But he never responded,
And chose to be aloof,
Lifeless, heartless.

But the birdy got attached to this tree.

Now as she grew up...
There came a lot of new friends:
Some naughty
Some daring
While some too irritating !

She learnt a lot of things...
Let's see what she does
With all her knowledge
And experiences...

(To be contd.)

The Lazy Mind: A Phantom's Tale

2008-03-12T20:17:00.000+05:30

Life has stopped (for me).
Nothing to do;
Nothing to think;
Nothing even to Desire!

The passions have left me -
The emotions have failed me..
Not even the sentiments,
Neither the patience-
Once I was proud of.

I am hardly human.
Just like a ghost,
A lifeless phantom-
Hovering through
The mists of space and time,
Untouched by the world
That goes around me,
That tries to grasp me
In its claws
Of Pain
Of Joy
Of Attachments.

I dont even feel lonely!
In fact,
I dont even feel!

Only black smudges
Fills me with irritation
An unspeakable despair...

Whatever I try
To Touch
It vaporises
Between my fingers
Leaving nothing behind.
Nothing.

All seems false.
All seems fragile.
Only I remain.
Only I.

Like I've seen all these
For millions of years-
The world as it is
Going on and on and on...
Everything seems
So cliched
So predictable
That it takes away
The Joy of Living!

I see the Cycle of Life
From up above a plane.

I exist here (on this plane)
Without a Mind.

And where my mind exists,
I do not.

Dragging myself on and on,
In this miserable, unreal physical world-
I just pretend to exist.
Dont even feel the urge
To struggle
To fight for my intentions,
As I have none!
I feel so tired
So pointless to exist!

Like an afterlife
Extended to live here again
And again, and again
For generations
Like an Ancient Tree
That holds the wisdom of centuries
But remains inert itself
To the sensory Outerworld.

I dont have the Will,
To do something,
Even to communicate.
I just pretend to exist-
But I actually dont...
Coz I feel no life.

I feel lifeless-
Like a phantom
Stranded in between
Salvation & Existence.

All in a Lazy Mind.

The Great Chappal Show !!

2006-12-03T14:29:00.000+05:30

The most humorous bengali sports review on Indian Cricket... taken from Anadabazaar Patrika.

Kyokushin World Cup 2006 Teaser

2006-11-14T09:35:00.000+05:30

The End

2006-11-05T09:01:00.000+05:30

There was a time
when i took interest
in loving-
in giving my everything
for that cause;
to live life at the edge of the roof...
on one hand
you can scream :
"woohoo! i'm at the top of the world!"
and on the other,
when you look down
from the sheer height,
you tremble, you fear
of falling down...
of being broken into a thousand pieces.

but now,
the world fleets by
like a movie on the silver-screen
and i
remain untouched by the subtle emotions
that used to make me
shiver, twitch, or
dance to its tunes.

sentiments make a man,
they say.
but i say...
strength makes a man
ambition makes a man
character makes a man.
it's not that i'm that man...
but i know the way
out of the miseries
is to see The End.

One who sees The End
makes his decisions more justfully.
he does not
waste his time
in the lanes that has no future
no Hope, no outcome.
he sees the Light
and goes for it...
the Light of Immortality
of Permanence.

But it is also true...
that
it is not important What one becomes in Life
but it is important How he becomes it...
some people may differ with me,
but i Believe
that no matter what you become at the end of the Day
if you do not go through the Hard Way,
you never realise its true value,
the true essence remains obscured
from your eyes.
as a result,
with the riches of a hundred kings,
you still remain unhappy, unsatisfied, unfulfilled.

in this huge world
there are very few people
who'd place their hands on their hearts
and say "I'm Happy."
everyone has a life
and also has a freedom to live it
in their own chosen way.
but when the things go wrong...
they only have their Ego to console them
of their decisions.
but in the core of their heart
they know
they're nothing but Losers.

Living life for the moment
maybe a key mantra of today's people
and most surprisingly,
they're right in the mantra
but wrong in its execution!
here is the explanation :

live life for the moment
but such
that you always know
that it goes on...
there's no use clinging to a belonging
because
nothing belongs to you,
they never did...
they just change hands,
sometimes the trump card lies in your hands
sometimes to another;
Life is not the trump card
Life is the table of the play
Life is not the characters of the drama
Life is the stage where it happens.

take life as it comes to you,
without expectations, without attachments
without desires, without passions!

yes, without passions!
if you reflect properly,
you will see
that it is these passions
that drive us
from one corner to the other
like a rat in a closed room
screaming their lungs out
and sweating like a pig...
the passions elude us into the false hopes
that the earth would be our dreamland!
but the truth is
all lies in the word 'Dream'...
it is you who will have to Dream
it is you who will have to change
it is you who will attain peace
nothing will change for you
no matter how hard you try
and if you still go on
you'll end up in the lanes of despair,
of utter misery.

Rise.
The solution is in your hands.
Kill the passions!

You may argue
that it is those passions
that make us human.
i say:
i give a damn shit to being a human
if it means utter misery and pain
instead it's better to be inhumane
if it brings peace
if it brings stability
if it brings permanence.

my dear friends
you stand in a juncture of two roads...
one leads through a village-
a simple poor 'ambition-less' yet peaceful life
and the other through a metropolitan city-
a gorgeous flamboynt complex and uncertain life...
now that I've let you know The End
it is time,
you choose your destiny.

I wish you luck!

The Welcome Itch !

2006-10-18T21:53:00.000+05:30

We humans love to err, actually…
Doing a mistake,
We try to fog it up with excuses-
Excuses, that doesn’t really make any sense,
But suffice to create a fog
Where we can can hide our shameful face!

We say,
“I’ve learnt a great lesson…”
Alas! On the second next
We do it again… and suffer
From the same writhing agony.

Agony, yes… Agony, Pain & Sorrow
Seem to be our best friends!
Because,
No matter how much we suffer,
Sticking to the pain
Seems to have grown a habit…
We fall for it
Again, and again and again.

There is a subtle and sadistic joy
Even in this pain…
After a while of suffering,
It makes us forget what it is actually
And becomes an integral part of our lives.
Most amusingly,
We even find peace, a feeling of completeness
Burning in this agony!

The more it itches,
The more we scratch…
And, the more wounded
The poor bloody soul becomes;
Ironically, the more pleased we feel!
Again, it keeps up growing manifold,
Nourished by our encouragement…
Here goes the Cycle…
Until we find-
The Life is Spent,
Scratching the Itch…

The Nature's Rhythm...

2006-09-22T18:36:00.000+05:30

Rhythm is a fundamental property of motion. You may sometimes refer to it as Periodicity and sometimes as Music! But overall it is the same... it is anything that repeats itself and has a particular personality of its own.

Yes, Personality is the word. This may sound weird, but it is this intricate difference that makes one rhythm different from the other. Take as an example, the rhythm of the waves crashing onto the sea beaches.

For the one who has been staying for a while at the beach, it becomes as close to his heart and mind as the rhythm of his own heart and breath. There's a little gap of anticipation when gradually the water collects itself, then forms a huge hillock and then with a loud impulsive, yet extensive crash it smears the golden beaches with gurgling white water... just like warm milk spilled over a toasted bread... it engulfs the bread to such an extent that for a moment the milk and the bread become One.

The waters of the sea engulfs the vicinity with such a force that it's lust for the land becomes so evident, the unbreakable relation between them is stamped with authority in this action. But when the water recedes, there's another sound... like a sublime cry... an intense passion of pain of two lovers growing apart, both of them unable to unclasp their hands and in that effort they end up tearing them apart... tearing up their souls for the cause.

Can you hear it, can you feel it... are you not getting drenched in their tears, are you not blown away by their sighs which you always feel at the beaches... well, I can. My ears are still filled up by this dual music of the sea, a part of the Nature's Rhythm.

Another instance is that of the Rain.

The Rain's difference in the rhythm lies in its frequency. Wait, dont think its haphazard... on the otherhand Rain is not a simple guy... he has a multi-dimensional personality! So much so that there are hidden layers of music in its so called fast-paced rhythm.

Rain unfolds itself to you depending upon you mindset. It's like a friend who soothes you no matter how you feel. His voice seems fiiling your heart with joy, all the things it touches makes a sound of applausal, of celebration when you're happy. It seems like the whole town is dancing with you while the jostling and merry host is the rain itself. He arranges a surprise party for you, the most enjoyable and self-less one...

And, while you're in a doleful mode, the rain not only lends you a shoulder to cry into, but like an understanding friend hides your wails from the public with the sound of its consolation. And even, if you let the rain touch you then, it will wipe off the tears from your tender cheeks with the tears of its own! I wonder who else in this whole wide world will be such a friend who serves you expecting nothing for himself. Atleast to me, the Rain has been giving the greatest emotional support over the ages...

The Nature's Rhythm is intense. But you only need to have the ears to listen to it.

The Fighter's Spirit

2006-09-07T09:28:00.000+05:30

(There are some very fundamental mis-conceptions of the public about the Martial Arts. Being a proud martial artist myself, I always dreamt about writing something that creates a stir and clears all the fog about this wonderful form of art. I've finally took up the effort to put it into words briefly and I hope this doesn't go in vain...)

Shakespeare said that Life is a stage where we play different characters tactfully. But more than that, I believe that life is an arena, a battle-field where we fight out each other’s existence, struggle to survive in this hostile place.

This is not only a war with each other individuals, this battle is not at all that simple… this war is against none other, but Ourselves! Yes, here we learn to fight out our intentions, we learn to control our desires, we learn to conquer the evil inside us. But, what is the target? To win in all of these battles, of course. But, the question is ‘Why?’ … Why should we fight with our natural instincts and desires that are rooted so deep inside us? The answer is: That is what makes us human. If we let ourselves go in any way that it wants to, literally, there wouldn’t be any difference between us and the barbaric wild animals. And, using our intuition we know very well, that it wont be a suitable environment to live in.

Yes, at the end of the day we are still animals, but we have a special power that they actually lack… the power to Think, the power to Analyse, the power to Dream, the power to Hope, the power of intuition, … that is, the powers of the inner Spirit!

Here I’m not talking about ‘Divinity’. I am here to show you the magnanimity of the power of the Spirit inside all of us. The mainframe of our system, which gives instructions out to our body and mind, is controlled by none other than the Will power. Infact, actually there is nothing we do that we wish not to! Anything and everything we do or think is empowered and governed by this Will.

We realise it or not, there is a fighter in each and everyone of us. Yes, I am talking to YOU … there’s a fighter in YOU too! Though it remains very dominant and passive, it is very aggressive and ferocious; it finds every other opportunity to escape the four-walls of the dungeons of cowardice and come out through our actions.

Martial Arts is publicly thought to be a sport or atleast a co-curricular activity that helps you to be physically strong and defend yourself from oppressers effectively. Apart from these, martial artists are thought to be ‘cool’ and ‘dangerous’. But now, I will tell you about the original philosophy, the actual meaning and goal behind the practice of the Martial Arts.

The origin of the martial arts, specifically the arts of Kungfu and Karate, was surprisingly from the most peace-loving communities of the human society, the Buddhist Monks. These people, who generally spend their whole day meditating, got biologically affected for remaining physically inactive for a time time. Hence several diseases and physical problems and sometimes sleep used to creep-in in the hours of self-realisation. Apart from that, there were many communities who loved to annoy these peaceful people. Hence, as a method of self-defence and also as an exercise, originated the martial arts.

The object of martial arts is not fighting, on the contrary it is used to stop fighting. I remember, when I was a kid, I was very turbulent, impatient and sometimes very aggressive and violent. But now, after 8 years of extensive training in the martial arts, I can redirect all of my negative energy for a positive cause. I am now one of the most non-violent, peaceful , soft-spoken and patient people of my group. Martial arts has taught me to live with my back straight and at the same time lower my head to my superiors. Ego, anger, impatience have got a back-seat while my confidence and mental stability have got an enormous boost. Concentration, focus, ability of resistance against all odds, the spirit of taking on any challenge, the cool mind to handle any presure… these are all the ‘side-effects’ of this pure form of art. This not only guides to be a better person, but makes you one and brings fundamental positive changes to your character and even the way you think.

Thus the point is not to struggle, but being such that you suit perfectly in the system, without even noticing it yourself. And, this arts prepares the back-stage for this performance only. The main object is not to rectify others, but to rectify yourself… realise who you are, what your true abilities are, to be a a good human being yourself.

Corruptions exist, as it always will. Thus we know about scarred people who forgot the original purpose of this lesson of life-time. Instead they think of it as a ‘course’ and boast of ‘completeing’ it. Let me tell you something, most of us think that a black-belt is the final step of mastering a style of martial arts… but here goes the truth: in Japanese black belt is called Shodan, where ‘sho’ means ‘the first step’. Thus where we think that it has ended, actually that is the beginning! And let me tell you, martial arts is never a course, it has no end. Like you cant stop building your character, like you cannot become ‘The Master’ in music or literature, there is also to stopping in martial arts. It becomes an intricate part of your life, infact it become Life itself for you when you are seriously involved. And, I’m telling this all from a first-person’s view!

But there are still some people who love to show off, they tread in the shallow depths of the ‘glamour’ and ‘cool factor’ of this art, and hence at the end of the day wear it just like an ornament, as a sport. But the ones, who embrace it to their soul, realise that it isn’t just a physical activity, but it is a Way of Life. The way to be peaceful in life, to be a person with honour, dignity and lastly security. The ornament, the glamour the individual ability, the flexibility … all wears off with old age, as it must. But the character remains. That is the target of martial arts… to gain permanence, to get incorporated into the character itself, which never wears off till Death does it apart, maybe!

Thus, according to me, a true martial artist may not be a champion in a number of national and international tournaments, but he is a champion of himself. For, he has learnt to conquer his senses, control his desires, divert his subtlest energies for a greater, nobler cause. He always wins, not little ‘skirmishes’ on a ‘builit-up arena’, but greater battles that really matter, and he also wins the heart of all the people around with his good nature, with his Love. Yes, don’t be so surprised, martial arts teaches us to love.

It takes us on a tour through the maximum hardships, treads in the boundaries of our capabilities and extend them to let us realise the unnoticed whole new passive world of extraordinary capabilities in us and ultimately reaches the Divine Soul that is within all of us and governing all our activities.

It nurtures the fighters in us and makes them Emperors, reigning upon an empire, that is Within!

The champions hold their head high in the air and say :

“Come ye trials and challenges; come life’s big waves, for I am ready…”

(Grandmaster Mas Oyama)

Thus is the meaning of Martial Arts.

All the world's a stage

2006-09-04T09:09:00.000+05:30

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

--- Shakespeare

Independence

2006-08-16T10:10:00.000+05:30

Independence. Surprisingly, the word in itself carries a strange paradox. Independence is a positive concept and a very powerful one. Yet the word is grammatically negative and it has its meaning only by negating ‘dependence’ ! That means it is utterly dependent itself !

Here lies the catch. As a general rule of Nature, dependence is more fundamental than it’s opposite. That explains its prevalence and dominance over the other. We are all born and created to be dependent. We ‘fight’ for freedom. But we depend for our own ease and comfort. No preparation is required if we want to take help from somebody, but analogically to make ourselves self-sufficient and complete (though I believe no-one can be entirely complete in himself) it requires a lot of planning and hard work.

We don’t realize that we’re dependent until and unless something hits bluntly in our face and rudely refuses to comply with our wishes. For example, people go to work to earn a living. But they have personal hobbies and passions too. Who the heck wants to go to work everyday? If given the choice and the proper resources I’d rather roam about the whole world, make friends with different kinds of people… or maybe read books on the windy beaches of a sea-side and spend the nights hearing the sounds of insects and staring at the moon… instead of going to college and reading about stuff that has no connection to our daily lives by any means.

But here also, comes Habit. Habit is a characteristic of all living beings that makes them dependent unknowingly on itself. In fact, habit is the most responsible factor that makes us go in a straight, pre-determined, methodical and ordered line. As it has become our habit to earn for a living and be occupied with something, that after maybe a couple to months of vacation we want to get back to where we were, no matter how monotonous and painful it was. We would forget all about freedom and voluntarily want to be in the cage again!

But again, as all students of physics might know (Second Law of Thermodynamics), to nature Chaos is more fundamental than order.

Hence, as we see, this is one of the greatest examples of how the nature maintains its balance with the help of the opposites. On one hand it wants to be chaotic, but at the same time it remains ordered by becoming dependent on its instincts and also on the surrounding influences. Yin & Yang !

Just as light has no meaning without darkness, just as a woman finds her completeness in the company of a man, just as a vacation finds its meaning after a long period of pre-occupation and hard work; similarly independence is here only because there was dependence once upon a time. The phase of dependence is equally significant. Not only it has helped us to thrive but it has pointed out what could have been better, where the holes in the cloth are, where we actually stand.

I do not see independence just as freedom from a habit or a superior power, but I see it as a realization, a motivation, a cause that brings integrity among the diversified elements. But at the same time I also do not look down upon the earlier phase of dependence. It is the cause that brings the awareness, it is the foundation where the structure stands, it has taught us to dream. It is the other half of nature’s Divine Cycle.

Let us not be ashamed that we were dependent once, but let us be grateful that it gave us enough reasons to not to be.

The Vision

2006-08-03T23:55:00.000+05:30

When walking past those places-
where once dwelled :
a dream, a hope
a vision of a new meaning of life,
where once we held
our trembling hands and our hearts...
I do not let my tears go,
instead there comes a fire
which surges within...
it vaporises every drop of tear,
and creates a mocking image
out of the flame,
that laughs at my foolishness
and makes faces to me;
faces... familiar once
but now distorted, corrugated, ugly
or even lost in the fogs of oblivion.

yet something happens
at the back of my head
at the bottom of my heart
which makes everything seem
so dull, so empty, so meaningless
the colors hidden by the black of the canvas
tries to peep out,
to creep into my dreams
and make them nightmares
of disgust, of writhing pain.

and again
at the next moment
the blemished canvas gets burnt
by The Fire
and instead of scorching it,
it erases it...
it makes the way for a new beginning.

but, what is the use of beginning at all?
if it is all destined to end?
why make trouble to build a sand-castle
in the banks of the atlantic ocean
of desires, pain, expectations and ego?

but we have only one thing
that defies logic, defies rationality,
yet, gives strength and urges to move on...
it is Hope.

hope is the only dead-end
of the side-lanes of life,
called Failures.
some people tend to stay
in those suffocating dark and tempting lanes
and lose sight of the main road: Life;
which goes on and on and on...

if there haven't been the high walls of hope,
maybe some people wud've tried to jump over it
but instead making an premature exit from the Journey.

it is hope that makes us get back
to stroll on
and maybe this's the best way
to live life.

i wanted to live
to smell the roses
to cross the barriers
and extend the boundaries...
i did not care for the customs, the conventions;
i wud've crushed everything in my way;
but,
the only thing i needed was
A shoulder--
or maybe a warm hand to grasp
my cold trembling limbs in the blizzard...
or maybe a bosom to rest
my tired, fractured and bleeding body.

instead,
i was betrayed... used,
i was exploited... ravaged;
and helplessly, unnoticingly
left on the side-lane to perish.

i did get up
to face the sunlight again
to stitch my faults and with a new vision :

we are always alone,
the friendships, the relationships
the excitement of an outing with the sweetheart;
a lovely evening with friends,
are all futile, unreal and volatile.
everything is so fragile in the cyclone of time
that its useless to waste your energy, emotions
and yes, money
on these temporary bursts of hormones.

time spares no one,
not even the blemishless one.
all fall prey to the Time's hunger...
no matter how hard you try to be safe--
to carry a clean dress amidst the pouring rain,
all of a sudden a car rushing from the otherside
will spray you with mud and dirt.

dont take life too seriously.
let it flow like a river;
and you can float on it like a dry leaf...
unattached, and yet going with the flow.
who knows what will happen tomorrow,
so live for the present,
live life kingsize,
without any repentance
without any commitment
without the pain in the ass
commonly cliched as 'Love'.

The Murder of Love

2006-07-15T01:52:00.000+05:30

The birds are returning to their nests --

The sky is still holding back

Desparately to the last rays

Of the reluctant, setting sun.

The woods has been gripped

By the misty darkness of the creeping dusk.

A sudden shiver makes the presence felt

Of a breeze which blows silently,

Worn by the blues of the parting day.

Her hands clasped into mine,

Intently I am drinking of her eyes,

Searching for her,

Wondering where she is –

Where I shall find

The source of eternal happiness

That is hidden in her.

Like the infinite secrets of the universe

Trembling in the distant stars of the clear sky,

I can feel the existence

Of the secret of her soul

That is behind the dark depths

Of her illusory beautiful eyes.

Gazing into them,

My self is immersed, lost

Into the fathomless ocean of her being…

Where is She?

Within her lustrous eyes?

Behind her dazzling yet shy smiles?

Or in the sweet stream of her words…

Or maybe beneath the benign peace

That pervades her innocent face.

Alas, my hopes too high!

How rash the desire

To possess her soul,

To consume her totality

In the cramped corners

Of my crowded, clouded brain…

‘Tis like picking up

A beautiful flower on the roadside,

And ensuring the end of its life.

Content I should be with what I get :

A smile, a word –

A glance, a hint of love.

No one belongs to us.

Human beings are not for food

For humane hunger, earthly desires !

They are not ornaments to wear,

To show off !

They are lotuses that bloom

For the world and its Lord—

Assiduously and secretly.

Through days and night,

Through joy and sorrow

Prosperity and Adversity

Through Life and Death

And countless cycles of seasons

They Bloom…

To be enjoyed for their scent,

And beauty and sweetness,

Or even its mere existence !

But they are not to be cut

With the knife of desires,

And expectations.

We are all here to love,

And be strong in love,

But not possess our beloved,

Not to engulf her.

Let us appreciate her presence

Enjoy every bit of it,

Without making her suffer her

For the cause of our pleasure.

‘Tis long we’ve fallen in love.

Now let us

Rise.

Let the sacred rays of love

Drench us

Not in the mire of desires,

But in the fountain of hope, of humility,

Of Life.

-----------------

Acknowledgement : Rabindranath Tagore.

(this post maybe deleted in future for re-editting and other modifications)

The Language of Silence

2006-05-18T22:23:00.000+05:30

there comes a time
when words fail.

when words fail
to express the storm
that rages within.

that is the moment of silence.

silence.
but it is not void...
that silence is filled
with words!

those words carry a message,
which is so intense, so expressive
that, if spoken...
the lips will burn,
the eyes will shed
tears.

tears are not mere drops
of water.
they are pure emotion -
with such a magnanimity,
that we cannot hold it back...
it spills, it overflows
the rim of our character,
the edge of our calmn.

this water does not put out the fire.
but,it encourages the flame
to burn others.

so I bless the silence,
I prevent the tears...
instead, I let Myself burn!

May the soul that arises,
from the heap of the ash-
escape the stinking cage
of the present rotten corpse!

my words have failed,
my tears have failed,
my own character has failed...
but, my dear God-
do not fail me.

take me with you!

Rabindra Jayanti

2006-05-11T19:59:00.000+05:30

Sometimes I wonder that I’m so lucky I was born Bengali. It’s not that feeling which comes to every person that makes him like his own language, his own culture, his own traditions… but it’s a more personal feeling. You may think that I’m being very ridiculous, but still I don’t fear to say that… one of the most significant reasons that I like being a bengali is that I can live, breathe, feel every breath of that genius, of that conscience inherent to each and every human being personified through this single man’s creation! Believe me, I’d be definitely not lying when I’m saying that … there’s hardly a human mood which does not associate to a particular creation of this unimaginable wonder of the world, Rabindranath Tagore.

You can argue that it’s always possible for any non-bengali to learn the language and start appreciating his creations, but here I’d like to say… yes, it’d be definitely possible, but still you wont be able to get the full flavour of it… as here comes the thing called ‘culture’. Until and unless you belong (yes, ‘belong’ and not ‘know’) to a certain culture, no matter how much imaginative, how much talented you are, but still some things will remain unknown, mysterious and maybe irrational to you. That is why I say that “I am a proud Bengali.”

‘Rabinda Jayanti : poncheeshe boisakh’… these few words bring me a lifetime of memories, which will always remain cherishable to me, almost like the field of daffodils of Wordsworth! For some years this day meant a whole lot to me… a month of days without evening study, a month full of enthusiasm to create a new play, a new recitation and a new bunch of songs.

I was hardly 10 then. Though I loved to churn out the melodious tunes of Gurudev (read: Rabindranath), still I couldn’t reach at the depth of these… and so for recitation. From my childhood I took pride in recitation and also in one-act plays. So much so, that I directed school plays in the celebration days of Teachers’ Day. And don’t worry, we did really well. Even some people who were considered so shy and callous, they surprised the whole lot by giving their best performance! I really dream those days…

As for Rabindra Jayanti, my father, who took part in serious dramas and plays in his younger days, directed the 15/20 of us. All the acts we did, all were from the book ‘Hasso-Koutuk’ (laughter-satire). Almost the whole book was acted out cumulatively in these few years of our performance... and we underwent the rehearsals so much intensely that after 10 years, yes, after 10 long years, I still remember most of the expressions corresponding to each sentence in those plays… and I’m not joking my dear! Give me the book, even right now, and I promise I’ll make you roll with laughter!

Among us however, Paltu-da and Jijo-da always got the bigger roles. Paltu-da was really a talent. With my father’s directed expressions, he always added his own and after the evening we literally had pains in our ribs by rolling and laughing and kicking!! Jijo-da used to do the serious type of roles and he handled them well. But Paltu-da obviously was more popular among us.

As for singing, Dipon-da and me used to lead the boys and Manta-di and Mom from the girls’ side. I loved singing… and singing Rabindrasangeet alone, since my childhood. I had later undergone some proper training in it and even performed in Rabindra Sadan. Till today when I come across/redisover a new touching song, I make sure that I can sing it. So naturally I enjoyed the stage performance. When I get up on the stage today to present my Powerpoint Presentations, I hardly falter in stage-sickness, thanks to these colourful years, which have completely freed me from all of the stage-tensions!

This year I performed (as a veteran) in the Rabindra Jayanti, which was non-functional for those 10 long years. When I got on the stage (pandal to be precise), built on the exact place where we had our happy times, I was struck with a sudden nostalgia… all those old images were fleeting through the canvas of my mind… but still I managed to recite, sorry not ‘recite’ but ‘read’, Gurudev’s ‘Proshno’ (meaning ‘Question’).

Looking at the excited faces of the other youngsters, I tried to discover myself among them… but sadly I saw the temparament has totally changed. Instead of enjoying the show, they were ‘competing’ with each other. There was no co-ordination, not even one congratulated each other… they were hardly 10 and most were even younger!

So I leave you the ‘Proshno’… will these children be able to extract the same feeling from these days when they go up? Will they ever recall these days with the passion I am right now? Will they ever be able to discover the inherent tremendous intensity of joy? Will they be ever realise : There’s no use winning a rat-race… because if you win, you still remain a rat!

Save them all Gurudev, shun thy sacred light of enlightenment on them… make them proper human beings, because one day these young children will be the future of Bengal, of India, of the World…

The First Impression !

2006-05-06T09:20:00.000+05:30

Have you heard that proverb that says, “The first impression is the last impression.” ? This is a little controversial in the literal sense, but what it actually conveys is that the first image you create after meeting a person individually and personally, stays forever and you build upon that image the future possibilities of a relationship with that person. Maybe the portrayal was artificial for that person, yet what he does, how he behaves and the way he dresses is the only things that you can observe at a glance. If you find him attractive then you look forward to future meetings, else you refuse/avoid seeing him henceforth. I will jot down more on this topic in a later post, but today let me reflect a personal experience I had that has been etched deep within me permanently.

I was never a chatterbox. Neither did I had any first hand experience in ‘going-out’, especially with girls. I prefer either to stay back or have a peaceful walk alone in the lake, churning out my favourite Rabindra-sangeets one by one… and then maybe have a nice eat-out. But my first experience with a girl was somewhat very striking. I will not take her name for personal reasons. Also, I will not bore you with unncessary information and details and only concentrate on the topic: First Impression

I had been in touch with her for sometime over the phone, but never did actually seen her. We shared some common interests, and she seemed to be exceptionally close to my wavelength (which I hardly find in any people, leave alone girls!). So, inevitably, we decided to meet one day.

The day was sunny, burning to be precise. The meeting place was very crowded as there was some festival going on. So, another problem crept in: as I’ve never seen her, how would I actually recognize her in the firstplace among the hundreds of the jostling people. By nature, I hate crowdy places and then I am very punctual in my ‘appo’s. So I stood almost 30 minutes there.

Just as was going fed up, atlast she called. She was late already and amidst all the voices around, it was difficult to hear anything in the phone. As predicted earlier almost 4 calls were exchanged and yet we couldn’t find each other… but then I asked for her dress colours and fixed the co-ordinates. After that I did find somebody but still wasn’t that sure … so I gave her a call and waited to see whether that girl picks it up or not. And, she did pick up. This’s how we met.

Now I shall gradually layout the canvas of my protrayal of her image on her first impression.

First of all, she wore a smart pair of jeans and a cool top, as a whole which made her look, well, nice. Then she had a broad smile on her face, which almost spoke of lending a hand of friendship. She started talking right-away, quite contrary to me, as I still felt kind of awkward on my first ‘day-out’ with a girl. But, to tell the truth, she made me feel very comfortable and also gradually freed my mind to speak out. As I was very inexperienced, I made her decide to choose tha place where we can sit and talk, as she chose a nice and peaceful place nearby, away from the crowd. On the way I met some of her friends and she gracefully introduced me to them without stumbling once. That’s another thing I liked about her. If I would have been in her place, most probably I’d have ducked/dodged my friends…but she didn’t and I felt kind of honoured!

We moved on to that place and though most of the time I kept my lips tight, yet I started enjoying her company. She was very frank, friendly and carefree. At the same time, she was also self-conscious, very ambitious and like me, had a passion for literature. She was also an amateur photographer, and last but not the least, she’s also a food-lover like me(of course, quality-wise not quantity-wise)! She was so free with her words, that it seemed that we’ve known each other for a very long time, where, as a matter of fact, it was 2 months or so. I’ve never felt so much free talking to any stranger before. And, another thing, I did happen to see the little child dominantly present in her. Though, it would be very wrong to depict her as a childish person, but yet she did have the traits of the soft and tender little fun-loving baby in her. It seemed like the baby was enveloped in a well-grown ‘package’ with some virtues/values of an adult hurriedly shoved into it. Generally, I do look forward for this child in everybody, even in the grand-parent like aged friends I have!

But, maybe, as I don’t usually interact with people too often, I have missed these traits in them. Maybe all of us have more-or-less the same traits with some addition/deletion, yet our meeting was destiny’s choice and finding this person ‘different’ (almost a cliché for lovers describing each other with respect to the other people around) was also a coincidence.

No, I never said that I was bowled by her and was head-over-heels already… it’s almost impossible. How can you be in love with somebody just seeing once? Love at first sight? Then it’s an infatuation, nothing more. Sorry, but I associate a deeper meaning to love just than a physical attraction and some sweet exchange of words. Love grows like a seed into a tree, this’s what I believe. Being into a co-educational school for the last 14 years of my life, it is nothing new to talk to a girl, yet, this time I was a little shaken to meet such a nice stranger!

So I say once more, I didn’t fall in love with her. I was just enjoying her company, every bit of it…

After that we moved on to a historic art gallery, where for once I started to appreciate the art more than her presence… I’ve been there at my childhood and bore almost no memories… but, having the chance now, I lapped up every drop of the beautiful art. And I also discovered she also had an inclination towards art, afterall it was again her idea to be there.

She signalled me a time-out after sometime and we got out to have some food and my all-time favourite… ice-cream! I could feel the initial phase of uneasiness totally worn out and I had come out of my shell and letting out my piece of mind to her while she gave a patient hearing. Though she did most of the talking, that was exactly what I wanted and loved. I realised that she had the potential to be a good friend in the future. Overall I immensely enjoyed the day-out and on returning home, she also confirmed it through a SMS!

And now, I will finally etch down the conclusive part of this episode :

As I have said earlier, it wasn’t quite ununsual for me to talk to a girl, for I have a number of female friends with whom I had shared my thoughts quite openly since the time I didn’t even noticed the difference of genders. My cousin Tusi & chordi had been my best play-mates when I was as early as 3 years old to even now. Though the coonection has faded to a great extent with time, and though it is inevitable for the readers to say that nothing ‘more than friendship’ was possible as they were my relatives… I’d let them know that these two girls were the first crushes of my life! Our bond was way much more deep and strong to insult it with the paltry term ‘just friends/relatives’.

But what was new in this incident was of course that she was a complete stranger, but also that it seemed (to me) that our wavelength matched to closely, that it produced a clear resonance… in which I heard the sublime music of Life itself. In a few hours, she brought a Tsunami in my calm mind and showed me the other side of the island where the flowers bloom, where the butterflies play, where everything is so full of color and vitality! It took me at a complete surprise and shook my base. It opened the worn, rusted windows of my suffocating and cold room. The warm rays of sun poured in, the sweet smell of the flowers crept in… in came a new vision, a new meaning of my life! And all of it in that day alone.

But, as the critics may say, these were all in my mind already and waiting for an opening to burst out. Atleast she gave the opportunity, atleast she opened the blinding cloth from my eyes. Maybe I’ll discover that the place wasn’t meant for me ultimately… but atleast the mental world-map got new boundaries, new unknown horizons!

Thus, you see, how magical her first image was! Psychologically speaking, though she was the subject, (but artistically speaking…) the canvas, the colours, the brushes were mine. I was the artist. I drew the magnificent painting. But without the subject there wouldn’t have been such a rush of adrinaline, such a motivation, such a vision. Wordworth saw a field of daffodils, which many may come across, but that scene motivated the creation of the masterpiece; similarly, she created on me such a mental projection, which is alone worth living for! Maybe after some days we’ll be non-existent to each other, but my masterpiece will never ever get faded with time. It will remain there, maybe not as the blazing sun, but as the bright moon in the dark desparate moments in the battle called life.

I’d like to end this all with a final reflection…

It was her innocent smile that made me look forward to the next day out with her!