Jilanis Blog

The Fictitious Chronicles: Introduction

2008-11-04T22:02:00.005+05:00

The narrations that will be published soon are excerpts from a top secret file in my closet that doesn't exist. The file contains highly sensitive information that cries whenever you look at it. It was recovered from a archeological digg that was never published.

So, Brace yourselves.
PS: Don't go to the dentist. Please.
PS2: It'll Hurt If you do!
PS3: There will be no humor except Dark humor. The narrations itself will also be dark. Don't blame me, blame Wapda!

Back In The Same Bloody Color!!!

2008-10-19T16:25:00.012+06:00

Well, well, well...

I'm temporarily back...

Getting all you readers back will be hard..

Here's the last 5 months:
-Exams
-Dubai
-Hard Drive FAT Table Crashing
-W. DC aka Virginia
-Xbox Media Center Setting up
-Windows Re-installation
-Re-Building Music Library
-SAT Registration
-Xbox playing and winning!
-KS aka Kansas
-Coldplay mania
-iPod Begging
-Ps3 getting
-Ps3 Playing!
-Ps3 Winning
-Ps3 Losing
-Ps3 Winning
-iPod Getting
-W. DC aka Virginia (again)
-Old Rag Hike
-Xbox playing and still Winning!
-Dubai
-Wii Playing and cramp getting
-Pakistan
-School
-Toefl
-SAT

My SAT was yesterday. (This post was originally written on the 19th)

I can still feel the pain.

Well, you know what they say... No pain, No gain! (but really, why take a risk?)

Other than that, my beatle-mania has been renewed... Along with my love for Electronic and Alternative music..!

So... I just remembered... I haven't told you all about my favorite movies

-Godfather I
-Godfather II
-MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
-Shawshank Redemption
-Dr Strangelove
-One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest
-Requiem for a dream
-The good, the bad and the ugly
-Batman Begins
-The Dark Knight
-Silence of the lambs
-Pulp Fiction
-Full Metal Jacket
-Apocalypse Now
-2001: A space odyssey
-A Clockwork Orange
-Star wars IV, V, VI
These movies are my absolute favorites!
Though, Not for the reasons you might think!

Good bye for now! Expect another post next week! (SATURDAY!!! SAT 2!!! aka SAT SUBJECT TESTS)

A little talk about a big problem

2008-06-14T02:03:00.023+06:00

Welcome my friends!
Yes, i'm free from exams.
Yes, i know it's been a long time.
Yes, i know i've been really bad to you all.
Yes, i know you've waited a long time for this post.
Yes, i know haroon hasn't been keeping you busy all this time.
Yes, i know haroon did not treat you well and he has a perfectly good reason for that.
Yes, i know that reason and the reason {IS YOU!!![scooba-tank (hoobastank?) anyone?]} is exams
Yes, i know!
Hmm.. if i ever run for president remind me to keep that as my slogan

Vote for Salman because.. he knows... (YES, I KNOW)

Oh well enough of the political bull. I mean, give the cows a chance too! I mean what about the pigs on a wing and the sheep and the dogs... (THANK YOU PINK FLOYD)

Oh well enough of the political "number 2"

Well, today i want to talk about a serious issue!

Note: Before you scroll down i want to tell you that the issue is rated R..[joke(scroll down and find out)]

The topic for today is:
(hold this for a second darling i gotta open the envelope)
*drum roll please*
PIRACY!
*arr* (Oh thats why it's rated R)
*Cue the Wilhelm scream*

I don't believe in piracy!
It sucks!

:O

BUT I LIVE IN PAKISTAN!!! HOW CAN I HATE IT WHEN I LIVE IN PAKISTAN?!

Well, that's a good question (or was that a statement?!)

It's pretty simple really. I'll PAY for a good product! If it's great. I'll pay the developers cause i want more!

Unfortunately, things aren't that simple. You can't go to a store and buy an original dvd of ANYTHING!

Movies, Music, Games, Software, everything! HECK SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY AN ORIGINAL PAKISTANI THING!!

So, i resort to open source.

Oh what, no genuine windows? Screw you Microsoft genuine advantage! Hello Linux!

But, unfortunately, sometimes, open-source, isn't, good, enough.

Now. most of you read that as:
But unfortunately sometimes open-source isn't good enough

Some of you read it as:
But sometimes isn't enough
OR
Unfortunately open-source good

But what i meant was:
Sometimes open-source isn't good enough

So the most of you were right.

Congratulations.

Want a cookie?

He he.
Ok back to piracy!
I meant the piracy issue!
Ok back to the piracy issue!

Some softwares you have a substitute for. No office? get open office!
No norton, get avg.
You know, stuff like that. Sometimes you get AWESOME stuff, sometimes you get equal stuff, and sometimes you just get Carp (no offense to the fish)

Like there are no photoshop alternatives that rock.
so, you just have to do it.
No matter how much it kills you inside.

Now off to another topic. What to do when there is no alternative.
Living in Pakistan, where there is nothing original. Even the people are wanna-be's
WHAT DO YOU DO?!
You could go to the store next door and get a cd. Paying a person and encouraging him to make more fake dvds.

OR

you could go online and download the foo'

So, it's your choice
I mean, it is cleaner in principle. But dirty in action.
Boy would i love to have genuine stuff...

Guys. I am sorry that this post came late. But i started writing this post the day i got free from my exams. Life has been busy since then. First i had to pack and go to dubai. Which was excellent. Then i had to have fun in dubai which was also excellent. But then my hard drive screwed up and showed me the BSOD everytime i started windows up. BUMMER! I tried alot to fix it but i couldn't access the hard drive. BUMMER! I lost 12 Gb of music. DOUBLE BUMMER! Worst of all. I lost all my Pink Floyd. BUMMER RAISED TO THE POWER OF INFINITY! But not to worry. I will get it back. Oh yes i will... I mean i do have 5 backups of floyd!

1)USB's
2)CD's
3)Desktop
4)Friend 1
5)Online Server

But one does his floyd. Right one?
1: Right you are Salman! Right you are..

So long folks. I leave with a heavy heart.
Mind taking some load off?

T2: Back as promised!

2008-05-31T22:56:00.011+05:00

Well i'm back for one post..
Remember, exams finish on the 12th... you can expect alot of posts then ;)
Alright! continuing with my last post's idea...

Hope u laughed on that one as much as the cat did...
....and i have another writers block... so, i am going to post a few wallpapers... and images

A really old wallpaper i made.. have no clue now about how i made it...

Tried to make some spikes...ended up with this..

i have absolutely no clue what that is

was trying to create a grungy yet modern wallpaper and ended up with this

wanted to experiment with glossy stuff.. made some glossy lime

According to me, this is my finest work...

something i made as a webpage background but it ended up to be too huge

Rainbow burst

was listening to alan parsons with photoshop open... and the eye in the sky was made..

A random thing i did.. picturing an object in front of a waterfall type background

Fell in love with the background..

an ambigram which says salman

another ambigram saying jilanis. a bit too raw..needs more work

oh well... guess that's it for me
oh yeah and before i forget..
i'll be back!

Gotta go!

2008-05-26T21:02:00.007+05:00

Ok folks!
Exam coming up again
i'll leave u with a picture a re imagination of terminator...
Set in 2008... the famous line delivered...

Scroll down (didn't want to ruin the surprise...)

In internet slang?

OH THE HORROR!!!

more on this afterwards... i have alot of ideas!

Interlude

2008-05-23T20:57:00.017+05:00

Interlude: A period of time between or interrupting a larger one.

Seriously folks... don't blame me... because it's not my fault. It's the CIE's. but what can a man do?
I seriously have nothing to write about. That's sad. Because there is always something to write about.
I mean these exams have sucked all my inspiration.
This has happened a countless number of times but i did not realize it then because i didn't have a blog back then :)
Well then let's talk about some nonsensical stuff that totally makes sense.

This is for all the Floyd fans!
The dam broke open! and there is no moon on the hill! my head is exploding!
guess i'll see you on the dark side of the moon eh?
but, there is no dark side of the moon... Matter of fact it's all dark
woot!
*bows down* FLOYD!!

It's raining like hell here... we've all heard that saying haven't we? but according to all the holy scriptures and the "image" of hell in popular culture, hell is fire. and i present a question to you... HOW THE HELL CAN IT RAIN IN HELL?
Exactly, it can't rain in hell. So, if it doesn't rain in hell, then we don't know how it rains in hell AND the rain falling down upon you cannot be compared to a thing that does not exist hence making the quote baseless and shaking the english language as we know it!

rant rant rant

Now, i'll quote some Pink Floyd who actually believed what i said:
"Haven't you heard it's a battle of words."

So now you know...(if you didn't already know)

har har har...

I saw the 2004 remake/reimagining of the older Manchurian candidate yesterday. I loved it. Simply amazing but, stupid wapda.... Lights went off.. so i couldnt see the end. But who cares? I was absolutely amazed by meryl streep's acting. her words are still ringing in my mind. Sgt. pepper? (just kidding)
Sgt. Shaw, Sgt. Raymond Shaw, Raymond Prentiss Shaw.
Yes mother?
Go kill that girl in the hotel (reference to hitchcock's psycho)

Seriously, it could be every mother's dream to call her child three times and voila! he would listen to her. UNLESS, her son is beetlejuice.... gee I'd love to see what happens then!

I'd like to present some stuff i've made...
Hope it makes you laugh

(Come and get the free tutorial now!)

(Don't blame me, blame the typos!)

(Can we go there mommy?)

Oh well... i guess this is it. Let me end it with some floyd.
"Out of the way, it's a busy day
I've got things on my mind"
So, go on laddie...

First Post IV : A new hope

2008-05-12T01:11:00.022+05:00

Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope (originally released as Star Wars) is a 1977 space opera film, produced, written, and directed by George Lucas. It was the first of six films released in the Star wars saga; two subsequent films continue the story set while three others act as prequels. Ground-breaking in its use of special effects, this first Star Wars movie is one of the most successful films of all time and generally considered one of the most influential as well.
[source: wikipedia (12 May 2008)]
In my case, This is NOT the first post.. it is actually the fourth.. Yeah the title does tell the truth..
Alright.. To business!(..and beyond!)

He he, Anyways...

Today was movie day! Actually the day before yesterday was! But, i have exams in a few units of time... So, who could blame me! Ok, Movie day! On to the teaser moment!

Bonasera. Bonasera. What have I ever done to make you to treat me so disrespectfully.
My favourite quote of all time! ALL HAIL THE GODFATHER that is marlon brando!
The guy has not only made Don Corleone Immortal.. He is THE GODFATHER and THE GODFATHER is him!
I cant even imagine a Godfather who is not Brando. Just like you can't imagine a hannibal lectar without anthony hopkins or a psycho without anthony perkins!
Enough for the godfather now kiss my @$5 (the word ring was censored, just in case you wondering)

That's right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny.
Aah! what a movie Jack bloody nicholson at his bloody best! One flew over the cuckoo's nest. A classic. A masterpiece! A movie with spectacular acting.. All i would like to say is bleep you nurse ratched!

You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent.
A recent movie indeed. But it is one that has been etched into my mind like the godfather! A movie with spectacular dialogs and direction. A movie appropriate for all. Batman Begins!

Some movies i did not mention which i absolutely love.
Fight Club, The Departed, The Bourne series, Requiem for a dream, Dr Strangelove, Hot fuzz, Wayne's world and many, many more! Well thats it for movies.

This post will trigger a first! It will have no teaser. This post changes the format. I am now going to add a few extras to this post because i most probably won't be posting regularly.. so i decided to upload a few webcomics i made almost 2 years ago.

Sorry if the drawings suck... i'm new at this stuff.
Note: the flash file will take time to load so please be patient!
Meanwhile i'll tell you the background of these comics!
About 3 years ago in grade 10, i was introduced to classic rock by my cousin and my brother in law. Before the introduction i was all pop and rock but then i heard the wall! BANG, it was literally like i hit a wall. My life stopped. Everything i knew about music was suddenly meaningless. Oh the lyrics Oh the music, the solos, the vocals. Everything so perfect, so smooth so mesmerizing. From that day i decided that modern music sucked. As time progressed i found out that there were more like me out there. More people rebelling against this so called music that we have now.But some people just won't listen! It is a known fact that everybody in their hearts loves stairway to heaven if they give it a chance
I remember myself before i heard the wall. Innocent, naive and loving modern music. I looked at the name Pink Floyd and i was like... huh... screw this! But when i did listen to floyd i went screw everything else! That my friends is why i love pink floyd. That is why i love classic rock because that is the way the cookie crumbles ;)

Anyways, all of the following comics relate my experiences, in one way or another, throughout class 10 and some of class 11.
Note: Flash is needed to load the comic viewer
Take care and wish me luck!

click here to see it!

First Post III : Revenge of the monolith

2008-05-08T17:19:00.021+05:00

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...
Hal: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm afraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois on the 12Th of January 1992. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it I can sing it for you.
Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.
Hal: It's called "Daisy."
[sings while slowing down]
Hal: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two.
[Hal dies]
Han Solo: May the force be with you
Rhett Butler: Frankly, my dear, i don't give a dam

Now that that's over...
Welcome back. My last post was alot of nothing about something. I promised that i would give you something in this post. Firstly i will reveal the meaning of the "teasers"

ZOSO : The famous symbols shown in the Led zeppelin's album number IV
DSOTM : Pink Floyd's magnum opus... dark side of the moon

As for SPATLHCB: That according to the stoners down at rolling stones, is the greatest album of all time. Yes, that's right, it is

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Awkward....

Anyways, there you have it... my favorite bands, The Beatles, Zeppelin and FLOYD!
(the FLOYD is case sensitive because it is my favorite band of all time! ALL HAIL FLOYD!(yes, that's why they call me lord FLOYDian..)
I am more of a classic rock junkie.. however, i do like newer bands.. Examples would include some of U2, Oasis... and alot and i mean alot of COLDPLAY! I absolutely love coldplay.
I love Chris Martin's voice.
My favorite song is what if... just because of its awesome chorus...

Anyways... Here are a few teasers for next time when i tell you my favorite movies
Bonasera. Bonasera. What have I ever done to make you to treat me so disrespectfully.
That's right, Mr. Martini. There is an Easter Bunny.
You must become more than just a man in the mind of your opponent.

Thats enough for now, Till next time, in another galaxy far far away, goodbye!

The First Post

2008-05-07T01:20:00.002+05:00

My friends, Welcome to my blog. This post like the others is meaningless and has only one meaning. NOTHING.

For this first post i will write nothing in particular, and everything. I will tell you about myself. I will tell you about my favorite music, my favorite movies, series, everything.

But... to make this post more meaningless and drive traffic away from my site i shall rant on about how i will tell you everything in the next post.

Ah yes, you will indeed like when i tell you my favorites. Some of you may insult me for my taste but most of you who have brains and have an open mind will like my taste.

Here are a few teasers:
ZOSO, DSOTM, SPATLHCB
Stay busy!

LONG LIVE AMBIGUITY!!