And then it got interesting …

Very cool … any of you see it?

And there’s something else cool hitting the stores near you tomorrow … LUCKY IN LOVE. Think of it like an eclipse. It’s going to move its way into your line of sight and you don’t even need special glasses to look at it.

Me:
Kevin Durant? It used to be Lebron James.

Youngest:
James? James is, like, OLD.

Me:
He’s maybe 28.

Youngest:
Yeah. OLD.

p.s. I’m sending out a newsletter on Tuesday, make sure you’re signed up! Cool, fun stuff!!

Okay so we all know strange things tend to happen to me. But what happened yesterday pretty much takes the cake.

I was walking up the trail with Ashes, like I do every single day, when all of a sudden I hear a snort. Not a growl, or a hiss, both of which are fairly common for me and tend to turn me into an Olympic speed sprinter, but a snort. Curious, I pulled off my sunglasses and looked at the strange big thing standing at the top of the trail.

From far away it looked like one of those cow statues in downtown Chicago. Bright white and black and very still.

But then the statue moved. Uh oh. I didn’t have my good camera, or my glasses, but something made me whip out my cell phone and take a pic so I could scroll in and see what I was dealing with.

As I did this, the thing started grunting some more and began running towards me.

Can you say holy shit?

I looked down at my phone and blinked in disbelief, then back up at the creature heading towards me, all the while registering that Ashes was not in any way freaked out but acting as if her long lost lover had come to visit, complete with happy ass wriggle and wide grin.

Yes, she grins.

Here’s what I saw:

A pig. It was a fat, adorable, friendly, sweet BIG ASS pig running towards me, and I’m not quite fluent in pig grunts but I think he was saying “oh thank God, a human, I’m lost, can you please be my new best friend? Oh and do you have any food?”

I sent the pic of the pig on my phone to Alpha Man’s phone. I didn’t call because he was grouting tile and I’d already called and interrupted him three times and the last time he asked me very nicely not to call him anymore unless it was an emergency.

He called me immediately. “What the hell?”

Me: Isn’t he adorable?

Him: Tell me you are not bringing a pig home.

Me: Okay I won’t tell you.

A long beat of silence. “Jill, where did that pig come from?”

Me: Well, the pig daddy and the pig mommy fell in love, and then they–

You don’t really want to know what he said to that, or the ensuing conversation, which involved a lot of me saying “he’s so cute and sad and lonely” and him saying “we cannot keep a pig in our house” and me making all sorts of promises that I had no intention of keeping, but then some lady showed up in the woods for her long lost pig.

Only in my world.

1. Frat Boy got into the neighbor’s kiddie pool and refused to get out.
2. I found my missing glasses … in the goodie drawer.
3. I called a visiting boy by the dog’s name.
4. Alpha Man accidentally locked me out on the deck.
5. Frat Boy pooped out part of my missing scarf.

I mean what do you do in this sort of circumstance? What’s protocol? Scream? Toe him to make sure it’s not a dead body? Or worse, half a dead body? Luckily while I was trying to decide, the body moved, pushed himself up to his knees and told me I had gas.

And he was right. I have gas. Gas to the house, that is …

Hmm. I can barely stay on my paddle board all on my own, so you can imagine why I was a little skeptical. But we packed up the dogs and went to the lake. We decided that given my, um, state of absolutely NO grace, that I should take Ashes on my board. The old lady is quiet, calm and tough as hell. She’s also my self appointed guardian.

So Alpha Man helped me load Ashes on the paddle board with me, and off we went.

Alpha Man loaded himself and Frat Boy on his board. And here’s where it went all bad. Frat Boy didn’t want to be with his daddy. He wanted his mama, NOW. He took one look at me and Ashes about twenty yards down the lagoon and took a flying leap off Alpha Man’s board and started swimming for me.

Have you ever seen a gawky eight month old black lab swim? They do it with their entire heart and soul. Eyes wide, ears flopping, tongue lolling, they slap their HUGE front paws down into the water with each stroke like they’re making for China.

I saw Frat Boy coming at me and Ashes, and I started yelling. “No! Frat Boy, no! Go back!”

Because I knew what was going to happen. Ashes and me, we’re of like minds. We like to stay dry. We like to stay upright. We like to gently float.

And a hundred pound Frat Boy was heading straight for us, with one thing on his mind. FUN! And sure enough, there was no stopping him. Soon as he got close, he made a flying leap out of the water and onto my board, knocking poor Ashes off and me to my knees. So now I’m clinging to the board, precariously perched and desperately trying to stay out of the water because God forbid THE HAIR, THE HAIR CAN’T GET WET OR IT WILL FRIZZ!

Meanwhile, Ashes is in the water, her hair is frizzing all over the place, and she is pissed.

Oh, and Alpha Man? On his board, laughing his ass off so hard he nearly fell in all on his own.

Much later, he kept saying to me, all gleeful and laughing again at the memory, “you scream really loud.” Yes. Yes, thank you, I sure do.

When I recovered, I tried again. With Frat Boy firmly on the shore, hoping he wasn’t missing a party or anything.

It didn’t work, no matter what we did, Frat Boy had to be with me on my board. And I couldn’t get my balance with a wriggly, overgrown puppy on it with me. So we gave up. This was no problem for Alpha Man, who’d much rather be doing something MUCH faster anyway. Like being dragged behind a boat at top speeds.

Boys. They never grow up …

Wrong truck.

So the next time I see it, I’m hesitant to wave, but then I’m sure it’s him and I do anyway, and . . .

It’s not him.

This has been going on for several years now. I’m sure some guy in a truck similar to Alpha Man’s is wondering who the hell the strange lady in town is, the one that always waves to him.

Cut to the grocery store the other night. Alpha Man and I are in the ice-cream aisle arguing over dessert. He wants Rocky Road and I want Strawberry. This guy walks by and Alpha Man starts talking to him. Clearly they know each other. Alpha Man turns to introduce us and the guy grins familiarly.

Crap. I hate it when I know someone and I’ve forgotten who they are. “I’m sorry,” I start, already embarrassed I can’t remember him. “Do I know you?”

“Well, you think you do anyway. You’ve been waving to me for three years now.”

Also, do you have an ereader? Simply Irresistible, my very first Lucky Harbor book, is on sale wherever ebooks are sold for $1.99!! A steal… Click Amazon or BN if you’re so inclined …

But real quick, before you go, what are you reading??

Back cover copy:
After a tragic stint in the National Guards, Adam Connelly returns to Idaho and to Belle Haven, the animal shelter he owns with his brothers. All Adam wants is to be alone. Then he opens the door to the past—the woman whose heart he once broke. Still gorgeous, still tough-as-nails, but this time, unusually vulnerable.

Holly learned the hard way to never depend on a man for anything. Now, of all men, it’s the last one she wants to see, and the only one she needs. Her father has gone missing in the Bitterroot Mountains and she could use someone with tracking skills to help find him.

For Holly and Adam, each with their ghosts, a trek this desperate, this unpredictable, and this intimate, will have its share of risks—including opening their hearts one more time.