jimmy the bartender

I have to lay off a good buddy at the office. How do I do it and maintain the friendship?

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 03:31:00 +0000

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

First off, big guy, here's a reminder of what the scrum below you is doing nonstop: panicking and gossiping. Every time you hold a closed-door meeting, rumors spread. So nip them early. Remind people that this is the time for professionalism. You're at work, not in high school. Livelihoods are on the line. And when you do know something, tell your staff before they hear it from Lucy Loose Lips down the hall. That'll lower anxiety and raise their respect for you. Everyone knows the economy's a dump; they just want to be treated with respect. So after you deliver the blow to your friend, make plans to meet up in a few days so he doesnâ€™t think everything about your relationship is over. Name a time and a favorite bar. And tell him you're buying.

I play tennis with my girlfriend's dad, and I give him a lot of line calls. Smart move, or bad form?

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 17:28:00 +0000

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Remember when Obama's people compared him to his basketball style? Team player, good D, takes the open shot. On and on. They think playing sports shows a person's true nature. And yours, my friend, is coming dangerously close to yes-man territory. Her dad wants to win, but he doesn't want it handed to him. So show him what you're made of. Stay cool and compete. Enjoy the challenge. That makes you worth his daughter's trust.

My boss and I had some beers after work, and he got sloppy and promised me big things. Can I hold him to it?

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 16:37:00 +0000

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

I'm guessing you've never made a drunken promise. Good for you. More people should be that way. If women delivered on every liquor-laced thing they've pledged to me over the years, life would've turned out different. Also, I'd be a polygamist. Point is, drinkers often say what they're feeling, even if they can't act on it. So consider your boss's raving a sign that he likes your work. He may not have the budget to reward you, so don't push him. Just keep working hard. He'll notice.

My girlfriend has a picture of a wedding ring on her desktop. We haven't talked marriage. Should I be worried?

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 20:01:00 +0000

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Have you checked her apartment for bridal magazines? Maybe her Outlook calendar has some blocked-out dates a couple of years from now? Wait, stop sweating. That stuff may mean nothing. There's nothing wrong with a woman who dreams of marriage -- some gals love that stuff. Your job is to sift through the signals and decide whether it's just a wedding she wants, or a wedding with you. Then act accordingly.

When guys at work are annoyed, they send e-mails. Can I make them talk to me instead?

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 14:58:00 +0000

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Yes, and you should. As soon as a rant hits your inbox, walk over to the dude's desk and ask him to clarify. Even if it was totally clear. Even if he was right. Don't be immature or confrontational, but force him to talk -- and squirm, if necessary. When he learns that he can work better with you in person (or that his e-mails make you walk over to him anyway), the computer will seem less efficient.

Ex joke.

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:36:00 +0000

My girlfriend told me a running joke she had with her ex, and now she seems to want me to play along. Should I?

Rajat, Los Gatos, CA

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Hold on a second. I need to go to the back for two bottles of liquor, a bag of ice, and your balls. Why don't you just dance to "their" song, wear "his" cologne, and have the dude come over and cuddle with the two of you? Don't be an idiot. Couples should talk about their exes -- what they learned, how they failed, all that crap -- but there's a difference between remembering the good times and being wistful about them. Tell her you respect her past, but you need to know that she's not still living in it. Then find something the two of you -- and only the two of you -- can share.

Canned

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:36:00 +0000

I was canned, so I have to move back in with my parents. How can I survive this hell?

Stu, Norwood, OH

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Free housing and home-cooked meals? Good lord, what else will those demons put you through? Listen, brother, you're lucky: You need a bailout, and your parents can give you one. It's not glamorous, but neither is your bud's Cheetos-stained couch. You wouldn't bring a woman home to that, either. So suck it up. Save some money. Look for a new job. If you act like an adult -- help out around the house, make dinner once a week, whatever -- your parents will treat you like one.

Green day stuff.

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:34:00 +0000

I used to love Green Day, and my friends still buy me the band's stuff for birthdays. But I've moved on. How do I stop them?

Al, Quincy, MA

Jimmy The Bartender® answers

Hey, I still like Green Day. But this kind of thing happens a lot, Al. One year, someone bought my little niece a toy monkey, she cooed, and now every birthday is plagued with the stupid things. But people are just trying to be nice. Don't tell them you hated their last 5 years' worth of gifts. Instead, casually play some new favorite tunes for your buddies. Or mention how one band does something better than Green Day. The guys will catch on.

About Jimmy The Bartender

noreply@blogger.com (Engineer on site is Ir Mohd Fahmie) — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:25:00 +0000

Jimmy the Bartender® offers advice on women, work, and other stuff that screws up men's lives. If you've got a nagging question you just can't solve, let Jimmy set you straight.