I’m one of the “experts” over at the Customer Service Advantage newsletter so that means I get questions to answer from time to time. Here’s one I got yesterday.

“I’m learning the ropes as a new customer service manager. One thing I struggle with is giving feedback to my service pros. How do I give critical feedback without leaving my people feeling negative about themselves and parts of their work?”

What a great question and how smart of you to ask. Negative feedback makes us all feel a little diminished – after all you are talking about our weaknesses. Positive feedback makes us feel encouraged, proud and confident so the answer to your question lies not so much in the “how” but in the “how often.”

We teach people to be “Positive Leaders” and that entails using some of the new insights and tools that come from the field of positive psychology. So here’s lesson number one – learn to look for and build on people’s strengths. Give affirmative feedback – often – on what’s right about their performance, their talents, their attitudes and their abilities. Skip the “attaboys” and start getting specific with your feedback so people know exactly what you want repeated. “Robert, I especially liked the way you handled that angry customer – you showed so much skill in the way you clarified and confirmed his situation. It was masterful the way you dealt with his emotion first and then got the problem solved on the spot.” When you spend your time looking for what people are doing right and sincerely praising them for it you are building an emotional bank account (just like we do with customers).

When people come to trust that you can see the best in them, and appreciate it, it makes it easier to take constructive feedback that will improve their performance. Please note – I didn’t use the word “critical.” There is no need for you to be critical, that’s not part of your job.

Just remember the positivity ratio we teach and it’s easy – 5:1 if you want your relationships to flourish. Give sincere positive feedback five times more often than you give negative feedback. When you use this formula –you’ll feel good, they’ll feel good and you’ll watch their productivity soar.

JoAnna Brandi, a founding member of the Positive Workplace International is the author of two books on customer loyalty and one on positive thinking. You can find more advice on creating a more positive customer caring culture at www.CustomerCareCoach.com and www.ReturnOnHappiness.com

As promised in this week’s Customer Care Tip I’ll be sharing some of my learnings from last week IPPA conference on Positive Psychology (P2). If you are wondering what the link is between P2 and customer care and loyalty – it’s this:  “Positive Psychology is the scientific study of what enables individuals and communities to thrive.” That’s in total alignment with our mission to help create positive, customer-caring companies that thrive. We teach leaders and individuals to create more positive capacity – more positive emotion in organizations and with customers.

Put on your customer hat for a moment – how do YOU like to feel when you are spending your hard earned money? Happy, appreciated, valued, important, special, secure, content, fulfilled? Angry, frustrated, disappointed, pissed?

That’s right – most sane people would opt for the positive emotions every time. Having just experienced a major disappointment in a potential supplier this morning – I can tell you it really stinks!

Back to the positive stuff – Here is a little more of what I learned at the conference.  Ed Deiner captured my attention with his talk about circumstances and how they DO matter. Some of my earlier training downplayed the part that circumstances play in happiness. Ed says that there are huge differences to how people adapt to things. When I teach people about the “adaptation response” – that’s what makes us get used to the raise in pay or the new benefits way too quickly thereby negating its power to motivate – I use the “average” numbers in the research. Ed’s work – which goes deeper than the data says that everyone does NOT automatically adapt.

Ed’s a social psychologist and well as positive psychologist and believes in the power of positive orgranization and institutions to create the situations that are important to well -being. Hear hear! He says we need societies that help produce happy people.

Over breakfast this morning I read an Inc. magainze article about Zappos that had me practically choking on my cheerios – Tony Hsieh the CEO studies happiness – the same stuff I do. One of the first questions he asks people when he meets them is “On a scale from 1 – 10 how happy are you?” Yikes! Now, there’s a man who wants to get to know you.

Tony is building a positive society and does appear to have happy employees – I know he has happy customers. It begs the question – what are you doing to create more happiness and well-being in your organization (and in your own life.) It is with your control. Tony’s company – which started out selling shoes – hit $1 Billion last year. Can’t wait to see what he does this year.

Happiness is not a single thing – it’s about it’s about life satisfaction and positive engagement in doing things you enjoy and that use your talents and strengths.  Looks like building a billion dollar biz is making Tony happy.

“I’ve been on my case” said Judith when we spoke today.

Judith called a few weeks ago to involve me in a joint venture, and in the course of the conversation she used the phrase “no problem” seven or eight times. It was a pleasant, interesting conversation. She was an engaging and intelligent woman who knew her stuff, and as the conversation went on I kept getting distracted as I noticed the little hairs on the back of my neck wiggle every time she used the phrase that began with “No.”

As the conversation was ending and we were doing our pleasantries and arranging for the next steps, I thanked her for the call and her thoroughness in answering all my questions, she replied with “No problem” and I couldn’t take it anymore.

I asked for permission to give her some feedback, and she agreed. I said, “Judith, DON’T think of pineapples.”

“What?”

“Don’t think of cowboy hats – quick – what did you just think of?”

“Pineapples and cowboy hats.” She responded.

“But I told you NOT to think of those”

Judith got it immediately – She realized that by saying no PROBLEM she was introducing two words into my mind that were not adding to the positive nature of the conversation, in fact they were distracting.

 She replied by saying that she hated that phrase and that the reason she used it was that she learned in sales training. Oh my. There’s this common misperception that the phrase “no problem” “no worries” and the like are actually positive – WRONG. The unconscious mind cannot understand the reverse of an idea. Think about the last time you told the kids “Don’t spill the milk!”

(I’m not sure who her sales trainer was, but I sure hope she’s backtracked and shared her new knowledge with him or her. )

I sent Judith a copy of my article, “The Problem with No Problem,” and forgot about it as the next day I was on a plane and gone.  Click here to read “The Problem with No Problem”

Today we had our follow up call and before it ended Judith thanked me for the article and told me how diligently she was working to eradicate the phrase. “I’ve been on my case since our last call, I hadn’t realized what a bad habit that had become,” she admitted, “but I only said it one time today.” She explained how noticing it had made her much more conscious of her language and its effect and that she was reprogramming her mind to use more positive words. Bravo Judith!

Read the article, try to catch yourself before saying it, make an effort to put more positivity into your language. At an unconscious level your customers will sense the difference. Judith’s new habit? Finding new ways to say things. “Certainly” “I’d love to” “It’s my pleasure” “Absolutely. ”

Get on your own case and pay attention to how you communicate. Pass this wisdom around – the article is free and the relief delicious when someone finds a positive and affirming way to end a conversation. Ta-DA!

People keep asking me why I’m so darn happy. After all, they say, things are pretty bad out there. All the more reason to stay centered and happy I say. In fact, I’ve never felt stronger, smarter or more confident than I do now.

Five years ago when I got trained as a happiness coach (Graduate of Dr. Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness Coaching program) I had a guilty little secret – I was really a pretty unhappy gal. Sure I was a motivated, upbeat public speaker ~ I had learned how to turn that on when I worked, but deep down inside there was a little pessimist residing that stole the joy out of even the best of my accomplishments.

After my training on happiness, some of the coaches decided they wanted to form a study group, so we could continue to talk about how to create more positive workplaces. So we formed the Positive Workplace International and five years later we are still going strong. We read books, invite luminaries in the field of Positive Psychology to come and talk to us. (Even Tal Ben Shahar from Harvard has met with our little group.) We mastermind together and help each other develop courses (like my new Positive Leadership course)

Somewhere along the way, I noticed that I was happier more consistently. Somewhere along the way – book after book – talk after talk – my happiness muscle got stronger, and with it my belief that I created my own happiness.

And then the ultimate opportunity to understand how strong a belief can be came along. I was invited to participate in an empowerment seminar that included a fire walk. Now, mind you, I’d been invited before, but never attended – but this time is was different. My good friends, asked me, as a personal favor to show up because they were shooting a corporate video. The assured me all activities were optional. I had, in the past, broken boards at workshops and felt rather empowered by the experience, so I figured… well what the heck. What the heck? That day turned out to be one of those “defining moments” in my life. I did a whole lot more than break a board – I did a whole lot of things I formerly believed I could NEVER do. And I did them. Talk about shaking up your world!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJimWC5n6dg

As a gift for the holidays, Karen went through the footage and found all of my extraordinary feats and sent me the video – and told me to watch it every morning. If I can choose to break through boards, bricks, arrows …. yes, and all the rest, I can choose happiness in the middle of a recession.

Why am I smiling? Because no matter how tough it gets out there, I’ve discovered that we CAN change our beliefs, that we CAN create a better life for ourselves, and that the quicker we learn to do that the quicker we’ll come out of this crisis into a better world ~ one with a whole lot more integrity and truth than the one we are leaving behind.

It’s my dream that business can be an agent of positive change in the world. It’s my dream that positive leaders and positive workplaces can provide an outlet for people’s strengths and creativity and that at the end of work day, people feel so energized my the positivity that they go home with enough – more than enough – energy to play with their kids.

Why am I so happy? Because if the world as we knew it hadn’t fallen apart, this opportunity might not have presented itself. And I am so happy that finally leaders are willing to listen to this crazy talk about creating more positive capacity – more positive emotion – in the organization. Yep I’m grinning!         

Oh by the way – If you are interested in breaking through some old belief systems I hear there is another fire walk on May 16 – contact Karen or Connie at www.FirepowerSeminars.com and use my name and they will give you a hot $25 off your investment in yourself. Cool.

What a time it is. Most people are dazed, confused, fearful and stressed. We don’t know what’s going on out there so I figure it’s a good time to explore what’s going on in HERE, inside. Yep, inside of ourselves.

It’s a time of opportunity. Contrary to popular belief, confusion is actually a good state – it means the brain is open to new possibility. Confusion creates cracks in the armor of our belief systems, and “life as usual” becomes an assumption to be challenged. I think that’s a good thing.

I know I’m going to get criticized by someone for saying this, but maybe if we all stopped harping on how bad it is and all looked at it and said, “Okay, this is the hand I’m holding right now, how might I play it so I come of this whole and possibly even happy?”  

We’re all affected by the condition of the world today. How we look at it, how we choose to see the future matters.  Do I choose to see myself two years from now living with relatives? No – much as I love them, I’m pretty independent.

Do I choose to see myself as healthy, strong, happy and prosperous? You bet. I spend a lot of my time (and probably not nearly enough) thinking, visioning and dreaming about the future I want to create. It’s a pretty good looking future. I know when I couple thinking with action it’s pretty powerful.

And I know in order to create that future I have to take my focus on the “what is today” and shift it to the “what I want it to be tomorrow.”

I see a beautiful future – and all of us wiser, more grounded, better able to work together, more willing to see each other’s strengths. If we are willing to see this paradigm rattling time for what it is, it’s the perfect time to create a more positive future.

A great life does not happen by accident or by working “harder” and hoping for the best. Success in life – total, balanced, fulfilling success – is the logical result of doing the right things, in the right order, at the right time. Of course, innovation and creativity are essential as well – and I’ve found they happen more readily and more consistently in an environment disciplined enough to give them enough space to emerge.

It’s a good time to invest in yourself. There are lots of ways to do that. Start reading more books, take a few courses, get together with friends for “high conversation” about a topic that is meaningful or join a mastermind group. Plan a retreat for yourself or find one that is already planned.

This week I’ll do a mailing to help promote a retreat happening in May and run by my friend and colleague, Dr Philip Humbert.

And if you haven’t heard about the other “Dr. Phil” yet, it’s time you knew him. Phil is once again hosting his “World Class Life Conference.” If you are looking for a transformational experience – you’ll find it here. Three days in a tranquil natural setting where you can be curious, thoughtful, masterful – as you lay down the foundation for the life you want – not the life someone else wants for you.

Check out the 14th Annual World Class Life Conference with Dr Philip Humbert
May 14-16th in Beautiful Wisconsin!  It’s the perfect place and time for re-imagining your life!   

Go ahead. Take ACTION. Reserve Your Spot Today.
   http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/?af=250766

Not sure you want to go? Click anyway and get Phil’s f*ree report, “The Four Steps to a World Class Life!”

I see this time, this crazy, confused, sad and even angry time as the time to create a new way of being for ourselves. We get to chose the attitude we have, and where we put our focus. Let’s all remember there is a lot that is right with the world. Let’s elevate and celebrate what’s right. Let’s focus on what we want to create. Remember – Only those who can see the invisible can do the impossible!

JoAnna

A day dedicated to love.  How nice.

Everyone every where seems to be smiling today. At the farmer’s market this morning, the several stops I made today, even the dry cleaners where I complained about the stains they added to my cute little red jacket.

The supermarket seemed brimming with couples picking out their dinners together and people buying last minute gifts of flowers and candy and wine. One guy actually tried to pick me up while I was deciding whether or not to but fig vinegar for the fresh arugula salad I’m making tonight.

It was cute.  A rare happening and quite a bit of fun.

It’s nice to see people smiling more… 

More later. Now that I have finished writing two more programs, I’ll be back to blogging. Striving to live the fully engaged life, I’m learning that I can not do it all. At least all at the same time without it impacting my creativity.

Glad to  be back.

I love Peter Drucker, always have, always will.

I started learning Druckerisms early in my career since he was a favorite consultant of my former boss, Gerry Leeds. http://leeds.colorado.edu/About_Leeds/interior.aspx?id=238

Drucker believed that every three years every company had to take a look at their “Theory of Business.” That theory is made up of the assumptions the company makes about their customers, their core competencies and the environment they operate in.  Clearly every three years is now way too long to wait to do that since the environment is changing so rapidly. (Even my recommendation of every 18 months seems too long now.)

So last Friday morning, the first work day of the new year, I started out at breakfast with Jaynie Smith, author of “Competitive Advantage.”  http://smartadvantage.com

During the course of our conversation, Jaynie asked me if I wanted some feedback, and of course I replied in the affirmative.

I’m not sure of the exact words she said but what I heard was “What the hell are you doing?”

Gulp.

I knew what she meant.

I’ve been so excited about my new found love – Positive Psychology – and my new workshops on the Positive Leader, that I seemed to have lost my focus on my core competency – helping companies achieve more profitability through customer loyalty.

Of course we all know that leadership plays a HUGE role in how employees treat the customers, and of course we all know that people that feel good at work are more productive and perform better than those that are unhappy at work. Of course we all know that it’s all connected in one big circle.

Lately though, I’ve been forgetting to close that circle and make sure that all I do is in service of my core competency – helping coming create positive customer caring companies that thrive.

So in addition to the new programs in positive leadership, you will see a renewed passions for customer focused topics this year as well.

And it’s just the right time – for – glory be! The marketplace is clamoring for better customer loyalty.

http://adage.com/cmostrategy/article?article_id=133521

Is the business world ready to put its resources (that’s time, attention and money) where its mouth is? We’ll see.

Happy New Year

Today’s my first day back to exercising and blogging in a few weeks. A nasty cold, some minor surgery, and the holidays out of state visiting family has kept me away from both.

It feels good to back.

This morning at my “Extreme Stretch” class my brain kicked into gear. I began to think about how all companies are going to need to do the extreme stretch (right out of their comfort zones) over the next few months if they want to stay in the game.

Mine included.

As much as I’d to keep doing just what I am doing, I am afraid that in order to be of service to my clients I need to get myself out of my comfort zone and start developing some more easy to use affordable management and front line service tools. 

And, I’d better be more aggressive about selling them.

I tend to shy away from too much selling feeling that when a company is ready to transform their customer care, they’ll let me know.

Oh brother.

That’s a lazy and lame excuse for not doing a better job at both selling and marketing (uh, and blogging.)

So expect to see more of me as I make “Extreme Stretch” one of my 2009 mottos.

And by the way, you should know that in Julie’s extreme stretch class we accomplish our goals my moving mindfully and gently – it doesn’t have to hurt. 

Remember - if your NOT practicing and perfecting any skills having to do with taking better care of your customers (and your precious employees) you’re not serious about staying in the game for the long haul. Make all the budget cuts you need to in other areas and increase your spending when it comes to finding better and more innovative ways to care for those precious customers. After the downturn is over, you’ll be up while others will still be struggling.

Trust me – I’ve been around a long time and weathered more than a few downturns. This one will require you change in ways you never thought possible. Focus on the customer – stretch further – and focus on the customer. Make knowing and loving your customer your core strength. Without customers there is no business. Think: customer retention and customer loyalty. Ask: What can I do to create more value? What can I do to ease their pain? What can I do to help them now, that will help them see me as a loyal and trustworthy advisor?

I ran into a local business owner today who I’ve known for a few years. It’s a natural thing to ask “How’s business?” I knew what the response would be, we’re mostly all feeling it, “Terrible” he said.

“Well it certainly is challenging, I understand,” I replied.
We chatted a bit about it, my attempt each time to end on a positive optimistic note. “Well, perhaps what will come out of it will be some new business models, new ways of relating to customers, some new understanding of how we are all connected…”

And back he would go to how bad it is. He can’t stop watching the news. He reads the two local newspapers, his home town newspaper (Detroit, no less) and spends the day going back and forth between CNN and MSNBC.

“Why, Joel?”

“I have to stay informed.”

“Informed, yes. Saturated, polluted, NO. Don’t you know that watching the news can lower your immune system? Watch it once a day, certainly, it is important to know what’s going on – but to do what you are doing is making yourself sick. You’re anxious and stressed.”

“Everybody is,” he replied.

“Not like you are,” I offered.” And so once again (I must do this ten times a week, am I weird?) I explained the “fight or flight response” and how fear shuts down the creative part of the brain and leaves up operating with our reptilian hardware – the primitive brain. It’s not like we are going to find our way out of this mess by terrorizing ourselves.
Of course everyone is scared. But those of us with the presence of mind to look the fear square in the face will have the insight to know how to combat the fear. The first step is to go to gratitude. Take your focus off of what you don’t have or can’t get and focus on what you do have and can give. Savor it – whatever it is. Get good at paying attention to what is good. Get even better at it by asking what is good about what is bad?

Optimists live 7 – 9 years longer than pessimists.

I have this new granddaughter I’d like to see grow up, so I’m going to turn off the TV before I know every facet of the bad news. I’m going to get my body out to connect with nature more often. When I find myself in fear I am going to think a thought that makes me feel better until I do. I’m going to be sure I get at least 30 minutes exercise three times a week, or MORE (any less is like taking an depressive pill according to Tal Ben Shaher who teaches positive psychology and leadership at Harvard.
And I am going to listen carefully for places I can offer a positive point of view. It is realistic to think that even though we are presented with circumstances that appear negative they could, in some way, at some time prove to be positive in the overall direction of our now global village.

Everybody knows you get what you focus on. If we are all focusing on the bad stuff we’ll get it for sure. If we begin focusing on creative solutions perhaps we’ll see some new possibilities emerge.

Last week I had the honor to chair the North American Conference on Customer Management’s Customer First conference in Anaheim, CA at Disneyland. What a treat. (You can read more about it in this week’s tip)

One of the several speakers I had the honor to introduce was Robert Stephens, the founder of the Geek Squad.

http://customers1st.blogspot.com/search?q=robert+stephens

http://www.geeksquad.com/

I was so happy to have a chance to spend a few quiet moments with Stephen in the ballroom before the sessions began. I’ve been talking about Robert for years in my speeches and retelling a story I heard a famous  speaker tell years ago. I wanted to hear Robert tell the story and add a few details.

I was shocked (not to mention embarrassed) to find out that I have been “lying” about the origins of the Geek Squad for years. Robert was gracious about it and shared a few moments with me before it was time to introduce him. I was thrilled to talk to him personally, so I didn’t read the printed introduction that was given to me in my chairperson pack.

Up I go to the stage with my printed introduction in hand. He’s an impressive guy and so I decided to read some of his interesting credentials before adding in my personal thoughts. Right there on the paper it said, “In 2002, The Geek Squad acquired Best Buy and opened Geek Squad precincts in all Best Buy US and Canadian stores.”

I saw it on the page, but before opening my mouth, my mind decided this could not be so and so I said, “Best Buy acquired the Geek Squad” instead, figuring it must be wrong. Nope, it was right and I was wrong.

Later in the day, after I had made a personal apology to Robert, I apologized to the entire audience, explaining what I thought happened.

Because it seemed so impossible to me that a midsize service company could possibly buy a “big box” store, I assumed that what I saw on the page was incorrect. Talk about the old adage – when we assume it makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”. I’m still embarrased.

Because I wondered if this was happening to others as well as me, I asked the audience how many of them thought that Best Buy had bought the Geek Squad rather than the other way around – half the audience did.

It’s a great example of seeing what we want to see. When our belief system is strong it simply won’t let in information to the contrary.

I am truly humbled by the experience.

Robert taught us that what we need to create today is an “Authentic Experience” and I’ll tell you – my embarrassment was an authentic as it gets. Yikes.

Robert, I learned so many valuable lessons from you last week – the most important of which were those I learned about myself.