So let’s do it again. I seek men and women of stout character and fine fettle to join me in a journey of spiritual and physical ecstasy.

If you join our merry band, you will be entitled to one (1) complimentary Sharpie tattoo at my hand. (I’m pretty good at Sharpie tattoos.)

If you want to practice saying the pledge, it is reprinted in its entirety below:

THE PLEDGE OF THE DEEP-SEA WIFI TEMPERANCE BRIGADE
I solemnly swear
to forgo internet and email
for the duration of JoCo Cruise Crazy II.
I forswear wifi, ethernet, and dial-up.
I will not a visit a Jamaican* cyber-cafe.
If a friend tries to show me the internet I shall avert my eyes,
and I hereby pledge to silently judge those who lack my fortitude.
By the grace of Poseidon’s beard, give me strength.
AMEN.

(*This year’s pledge will be adjusted to reflect the relevant itinerary.)

“Beginning in January 2014, the Lynx rocketplane is expected to be flying suborbital space tourism flights and scientific research missions from a new spaceport on Curaçao.”

WTF Curacao!!! Please read this article and get fascinated with Curacao with me.

I’m so determined to fill this button with achievement stickers on the cruise, I just swam 45 laps to get ready!

Oh, by the way, this post was written by ME: David Rees, your pal on the boat.

ALSO: If you plan to spend most of your waking hours in the game room playing all those weird games you guys play, you should take note of this thread, in which people are compiling a master list of ALL GAMES THAT WILL BE ON THE BOAT.

My favorite game is called “The Hat Game.” Does anyone know how to play this game? It’s a classic parlor game. You don’t need a board. All you need are scraps of paper and some hats. I’d like to play it on the cruise. If you want to play the Hat Game, find me on the boat and we’ll arrange a massive Hat Game session that will leave everyone delighted and scandalized.

Yours in hats,
David

While lurking on the jonathancoulton.com discussion boards, I found this thread, which made me very happy.

Who says nerds don’t exercise? Who thinks we can’t hold our own at a Mr. Universe contest?

And most important: Who’s interested in maintaining a fitness regimen during JoCoCruiseCrazy II? I AM. Exercise is super fun and amazing (most of the time). In fact, I used to be obsessed with bodybuilding and even ran a spiritual weightlifting web site with my best friend and former work-out partner. Those were the days! I used to literally drink protein shakes and eat weird nutrition bars after every weightlifting session. (BTW the guy in the photo is Frank Zane, one of the kings of old-school golden-age bodybuilding.)

Anyway, if you’re a fitness nut — or merely want to avoid feeling like you’ve been run over by a vodka-drenched burrito bar every morning at sea — you need to check out this thread.

My preferred exercise-mode these days is swimming laps. I try to swim 45 laps/day at least 4 days a week, but it’s winter so I’m slacking off. But once I hit the Caribbean, I will be swimming like a fiend! (I’m even bringing my goggles and swim cap on the cruise, I’m that nerdy.) So basically, if anyone is up for some serious ocean swimming, look for me on the boat and we’ll make a date!

WE GOTTA STAY PHYSICALLY FIT SO WE HAVE THE ENERGY TO EAT ROOM SERVICE AT THREE IN THE MORNING.

More soon,
Get ripped,
Stay hydrated,
Drink your protein shakes,
Warmest regards,
David Rees

And that’s not the only thing he’ll be lecturing about …

So of course, there will be a DEEP-SEA SPELLING BEE aboard JoCoCruiseCrazy II.