Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter

Comedy, Drama, Intrigue, Mayhem . . . It's Reunion Time!

2016-11-08T01:00:00.003-08:00

Who doesn't yearn for comedy, drama, intrigue, and yes, even mayhem - all united within a riveting novel or Oscar-worthy feature? Such entertainment is fine and dandy when viewed from outside of the pages or movie screen, but when we find ourselves living the misadventure at our own class reunion, we have to wonder if we've time-traveled back to the mischief-filled days of high school.

Beyonce's Prom

A Time Leap Back to Seventeen

When organizing or attending a reunion, it's not uncommon to make an unanticipated blast to the past. Deep in our hearts, we sense the tingling itch of acne, the dull ache of braces, and the shyness that once left us speechless. Fortunately, our rational adult minds will eventually reinstate themselves after old emotions come out to play.

High School Reunion Graphic

Not all of us listen to the grown-up voice inside that urges us (much like our parents did) to behave. The bullies still bully, and the flirts still flirt. But the timid ones have at last found their voices and come out swinging.

Romy and Michele's High School Reunion

Three Acts: Setup, Conflict and Resolution

In this Joan B. Average cinematic world of unlimited possibilities, school reunions stay true to the elements of a page-turner script. Last year's reunion and its planning process resonated with these three emotionally-charged acts of screenwriting: setup, conflict, and resolution.

But first, let's start with the premise and theme.

Sandra Bullock's Prom 1982

The Premise

It's a simple one. Sell tickets to pay for the event, set the stage for the best reunion ever, and hope to stay friends with everyone afterward.

Will Ferrell - Senior Winter Prom 1986

The Theme

We designated ourselves the Class of Big Hair and Lots of Makeup. Our official Facebook page made a splash comparable to Best Buy customers at a Black Friday door-buster sale. It really is true that anything in cyberspace grabs attention!

Setting the Scene

Epics are often set in motion by tragedies, and our reunion was no exception. Sadly, our sole coordinator died suddenly five months before the reunion. A frantic search for volunteers on Facebook, quickly led to my initiation as one of seven organizers. A solid team of hard-working committee members established, our dramatic production was destined for rave reviews.

Appointed the committee's marketing/media go-to, I found that an all-inclusive approach to reunion planning was essential. This experience became my own version of legendary screenwriter William Goldman's book, Adventures in the Screen Trade.

Shaquille O'Neal's Senior Prom 1989

Ashton Kutcher's Senior Prom 1996

Creating a Reunion Website Fast

I designed and published our website using Wix just hours before leaving for a three-week vacation. Aside from a cell phone, no technology would be accompanying me on this electronics-free respite.

But tickets had to be sold fast to cover the mounting expenses, and for that purpose, a website was key. So, just twenty minutes before departing for the airport, I added the final touches, and our ticket-selling tool was up and running.

Carrie Underwood's Senior Prom 2001

How Not to Schedule

Our first blunder was scheduling the reunion for Black Friday. Prices for airline tickets always soar when Thanksgiving weekend - and the ensuing holiday frenzy - hits. Gas prices often escalate, and trains and buses are packed to capacity. Understandably, family time is of supreme importance during this time of year.

This combination of factors created a tremendous challenge for selling reunion tickets. We faced the challenge with a little creativity and stuck with the date.

George Clooney's Prom 1979

The Conflict

Things turned sour when a fellow committee member - still the sneering bully we all remembered from our school days - dropped out midstream and tried to use the slow ticket sales to sabotage the reunion. His plan of attack: antagonizing us online. This created a big problem.

You see, before he cast himself as our drama king, he acquired some wonderful door prizes donated by prominent companies and local celebrities. Of course, we desperately needed those door prizes. So we shoved our indignation into the pockets of our skinny jeans and squeezed into our ill-fitting kid gloves. It was time to smack some adult sense into him.

But then, something delightful and unexpected happened. Our old schoolmate's bullying produced the opposite effect. It actually increased sales. That's right! We sold 150 tickets, well over the required minimum of 120. His intended scheme had backfired!

Meg Ryan's Senior Prom 1979

Reunion night still found us on high alert in case our friend decided to bust in and cause a problem. There were several police officer alumni in attendance, so we joked about approaching them if he showed up and refused to pay - something he hinted at repeatedly.

Thankfully, we ended up having too much fun to keep worrying about it. Our only cause for concern came in the form of a spy he dispatched to snoop around during the planning phase.

Matthew McConaughey's Prom

The Resolution

But guess what? Our gala was, without a doubt, the best reunion the Class of Big Hair and Lots of Makeup ever attended. No one wanted to leave.

So, what became of our bully? Was he booted to the curb after attempting to crash the reunion?

Only in our fantasies.

He stayed away that evening, but arranged a post-event party for the following night. None of the attendees from the official reunion showed up. Hopefully that's a lesson learned!

Reunion Graphic

Five Tips for Planning a Class Reunion

1. Select the right date and time for the event. Take elements such as holidays and travel prices into consideration.

2. Plan an informal gathering to be held at a local restaurant or alumnus's home, and invite reunion guests and their family members. In warm weather, an outdoor picnic may be an attractive option.

3. Avoid appointing one person as the sole organizer. Instead, distribute the planning duties across the committee table. If a task is big or challenging, assign two people to handle it.

4. When online bullying rears its ugly head, don't engage.

5. Always have a viable Plan B, just in case!

Happy Reunion Planning!

High School Reunion Graphic

How was your high school/college reunion? Was it a thumbs up or thumbs down? Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter wants to know. Share your reunion experiences with us. Tune in next time!

To Niche or Not to Niche...

2013-01-14T02:39:00.001-08:00

Got 3 hours a Week to Create a Passive Income Stream?

Last Month, Nick Usborne made $4,447, spending only three hours, writing about his passion… COFFEE. That’s one night of prime-time TV. Here’s how you can write what you love in your own content-rich money making website with AWAI's - How to Write Your Own Money-Making Websites

(All Modern)

To Niche or Not to Niche...

That is the freelance writer's "big question," especially if he or she's still nursing on writing formula.

Confident niche writers say specializing gives you an edge above generalists. A big edge... you're viewed as an expert. You hit the marketing jackpot when clients seek you out because you're the creative genius in your niche.

What about Mr. Generalist? Well, he may have long nights of researching and researching some more, if it's an area where he's lacking hands-on knowledge.

The Pro Resume Writer Program Microsoft Surface Tablet

Ms. Niche stands out because she's offering something unique that'll make the customer stand out from the competition. She draws on her niche experience to find that marketing gem.

WRITERS... BE BOLD AND BE DIFFERENT

Our Lady Niche laughs in learning curve's face and flies past Mr. Generalist--Googling until he's cross-eyed -- and she completes the coveted project ahead of schedule.

(Flickr)

Ms. Niche even found a way to increase the client's profit margin. She taps into a new venue that sends the client's business down the green brick road to a new profitable destination -- the world of You Tube.

Take it from Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter... online marketing videos capture a growing audience who hadn't thought of your client's business until they watched a company video on You Tube.

Marketing Gem Sparkles into Sales

But wait it gets better. Ms. Niche's client happens to be a B2B. B2B marketing is not a hard sale. Our B2B provides a service the customer needs, but the question is...will the prospect -- a company with a stagnate website and Facebook page -- get the job?

Or will the contract go to the company with an active online video marketing campaign, several thousand Twitter followers and Facebooks "likes" in the six digits?

It's not brain surgery.

We live in a microwave society. Customers need to be snatched where they spend the most time. And these days... the Web commands their attention -- with a growing number of businesses surfing You Tube company videos.

Online Video Marketing

You can add online video scriptwriting to your freelance writing copywriting or advertising business like I did a year ago as creative director for a mid-size advertising agency.

Last January, we launched Perfect Little Black Dress Ink, a niche marketing divison for Nuss Associates, Inc., offering web copywriting and online video scriptwriting for B2Bs and B2Cs.

Online Video Script with Benefits

Why should you care? It doesn't matter if you're a generalist or a niche specialist. Adding online video scriptwriting to your services, you can get paid $100-$500 per page of copy you write.

Rebecca Matter, VP Marketing Director of Artists & Writers, Inc. - AWAI... explains why companies will pay so much for your online video script.

Why You Can Get Paid $100-$500

Per Page of Copy You Write!

Because online video works like gangbusters!

One study published in the online journal -- Marketing Experiments -- found that video marketing increases click-through rates by 750% over traditional banner ads.

That means online video is more than seven times more effective at getting your online prospect to take action.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The Online Publishers Association did a study to find out how good online video is at converting to sales. They followed 1,241 Internet users.

The result?

40% clicked a link or visited a website mentioned in the video ad. And 8% of the 1,241 web surfers made a purchase.

That translates into an 8% response rate! And as you probably already know, that’s phenomenal in an industry where 1%-2% is considered a “home run.”

Without question, the marketing potential of video is HUGE.

How to Profit and Have Fun Writing for the

Online Video Marketing Niche

A successful video marketing campaign isn’t much different from a traditional direct-response marketing campaign …

... Its purpose is to get the viewer to take a specific action.

That’s why the video script is so important. It’s the lynchpin that determines whether or not the video will convert viewers to sales.

As the person paid to write these short scripts -- you become vital to the success of any online video marketing campaign.

Perfect Little Black Dress Ink

Companies know the value a good script writer brings to the table. Starting pay for most video scripts starts at $100 per minute of video and can go as high as $500 per minute.

Since every minute of video translates into one type-written page (with lots of white space), that means you could easily knock out a 5-minute script in just a few hours.

Write three “quickie” 5-minute scripts a week at $100 per minute and you could be raking in $1,500 per week. That translates to $6,000 per month … $72,000 a year … just by adding short, fun-to-write video scripts to the services you offer.

And that’s on the low end of the pay scale!

Your income only builds once you’ve gained experience and can command $500 per page. The amount of success you can create for yourself as a copywriter in this niche is practically limitless

With the help of an Emmy-Winning CNN Filmmaker, this fully interactive program -- Marketing with Video Online for Profit - Online Video Marketing -- gives you what you need to tap into this lucrative market in a short amount of time.

AWAI is my go-to writing resource for most aspects of my business writing... and it can be yours too. Just click the link for more info. and you'll be on your way too. Marketing with Video Online for Profit - Online Video Marketing

Oops, I know what you're thinking? So that's where Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter was during the past year?

Yes, but I was still having many adventures into the creative world of possibilities. Now I'm back with a plethora of stories and wisdom gems to share. And online video scriptwriting comes with just the right marketing sparkle.

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Got Toon-Game Scribe?

Are you intrigued by animation and game writing? Got Toon-Game Scribe? is a new blog profiling today's animation writers, producers, story-editors, directors and video game story writers and designers.

Check out Got Toon-Game Scribe? debut post aka text-webisode.

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Soap Fans' Online Hope, Gone for Good?

2012-01-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

Rumors say, by 2020... daytime soaps as we know them will seize to exist. I say, hog wash! Okay, nobody says hog wash anymore... uh-oh. Will the babies born in 2012 know what a soap opera is when they turn 18? Or will it turn into hog wash too. Maybe... and maybe not.

Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter will go on record and say that soaps will exist, but in a different form. One that'll adapt better to our microwave lifestyles.

(Photobucket)

Have you watched the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Atlanta, New York, New Jersey... lately? It doesn't get any more soap opera than that. They just don't run in the daytime. You can't tell me they aren't scripted. True, human nature can easily script itself... it doesn't need a head writer or breakdown writer. Cause and effect always run its course whenever you put strong-willed, ego-centered individuals in the same room. Add a cocktail in their hot little hands and you're going to see drama, up-close and personal. (Whether you like it or not.)

Check out the reality shows' credits, you'll see a staff writer or two listed. Are they writing an outline like this? Nina brings up Mary's past affair with Laura's ex-husband, Joe, in front of Laura and Mary. Laura picks a fight with Chelsea because she wore the same dress at last night's gallery opening, and accuses her of doing this to get back at her for stealing a VIP client. Betsy tells Laura, she heard rumors about the shady financial dealings of Chelsea's husband.

Doesn't this remind you of Young & the Restless, All My Children and One life to Live? I'm just saying.

I see daytime drama returning online as two fifteen-minute shows reminiscent of the 8-12 minute cartoon shows currently being produced on Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. This way, people can tune into a 15 minute show on a smart phone or iPad in a cab on their way to a meeting.

Critics say, most people aren't home during the day, that's why soaps have dropped in viewership. Really? What country do they live in? There are more people working from home managing their own businesses and telecommuting than ever before. Here's a more accurate explanation. They either work in offices without access to a television during lunch, or they're self-employed and don't give themselves a full lunch hour. Wouldn't shorter soap segments make since? They could tune in with their iPhones and Androids.

Even a popular credit card company figured this out with a recent 60 second story on how a couple, using their credit card's special features, designed their toddlers' bedroom to transition them from cribs to big boy beds on a tight budget, after a family health scare. They wanted a room where they could read, act out stories for their boys and have quality family time.

The first segment shows the planning stages. You wonder, will they pull this off with a short time-frame and budget? We forget this is a commercial, and return after another commercial to find out how this couple found their happy ending.

The point is, we want to see the next segment. So we hold off raiding the fridge. We want to see how the project brought the family together, the final reveal and more importantly how the twins handled the transition--all in 60-90 seconds. That's drama.

So, if card companies and big box home improvement stores can do this in the length of a commercial, why can't soap operas with 14 more minutes to spare?

I don't think this genre will join yesterday's radio serials in the land of extinction. Most likely, soaps will morph into a different form that'll work better for our techno-obsessed lives.

Believe me, if people have time to play numerous online games, they'll have time to watch a fifteen-minute soap with intrigue and suspense causing them to wonder: what will happen next? The drama will heighten even more in short spurts.

Remember when you dated at seventeen and you had only a few minutes to get that first kiss on the front stoop before your Dad embarrassed you, and stuck his head out the window telling you to come in and double-lock the door now! You had five minutes from the time you pulled up in front of the door to get that smoldering kiss and see if a second date was in the cards. You've got your tension, passion, fear, suspense... that my friend is drama in five minutes.

So soap fans... don't cry a river because Prospect Park decided not to produce All My Children and One Life to Live via the internet. It's a numbers game and too many factors just didn't line up for now. By mid-2012, things could change, and Prospect Park or another production company could make fast-food soap drama a reality.

My advice to soap fans, watch your favorite existing soaps like never before. This could extend their network shelf life. Higher ratings will make a stronger case for bringing back soaps in shorter formats in the place where most of us come out and play... the world wide web.

A Soap Fan's Dream Ended... For Now - From Wikipedia
On July 7, 2011, Prospect Park--the producers of USA's Royal Pains--announced the licensing of ABC's two canceled soaps: All My Children and One Life to Live and its plan to continue production of the shows on a new paid online TV and interactive media network.

On September 27, 2011, Prospect Park announced that it would produce new episodes of AMC and OLTL on the new internet channel starting January 2012. On November 23, 2011, Prospect Park cancelled its plans to launch an online channel with AMC and OLTL.

That's what Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter says... what do you say?

Wipe Your Tears! Pine Valley and Llanview Will Live on the Web!

2011-10-09T16:17:00.000-07:00

Yes, Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter took a brief station break... but she's back with a suitcase full of new adventures to explore. Speaking of suitcase, it was a sad, sad day for soap opera fans when we learned our favorite shows and stars had to pack their network Prada bags and head for the unemployment line with the other half of America. It doesn't get anymore reality television than that.

Believe me, I went through a fair amount of Kleenex when I found out my old friends, All My Children and One Life to Live were given the "It's Not You... It's Me..." speech after ending a 40+ year relationship. Actually, it was the reverse. I guess you can't fault ABC if the ratings don't justify the expenses.

Susan Lucci, our feisty veteran of 40+ years, made Erica a phenomenon for generations to love and hate, depending on the storyline. Thank goodness she had a thing or two to say about the show's demise, and packed a nice punch in her heartfelt memoir, All My Life, published earlier this year.

Can you blame her? She spent a good chunk of her life on the show. It probably stopped being a job after the first season when Erica had the hots for Phillip and schemed to get sweet Tara out the picture.

Many of us grew up watching this serial bride from the playpen to the water cooler, and had no problem knocking down co-workers at lunch just to snag that last seat in the employee lounge to satisfy our soap fix. There was a time before VCRs and On Demand, when college students avoided scheduling classes between one and two o'clock, so they wouldn't miss a minute of Erica's shenanigans.

In her memoir, Lucci blames Brian Frons, President of Daytime Disney-ABC Group, for the show's demise. According to Lucci, Frons said it would be 40 percent cheaper to replace the costly network soaps with informational cooking and weight loss shows. I'm sure it also would've been cheaper two decades ago.

I say, if we want to watch these food/lifestyle and weight loss shows, can't we simply turn on the Food Network Channel, Cooking Chanel or Fit TV?

There's enough yada yada on during the day. Unless somebody's changing DNA testing or slapping a cheating husband... (I'm talking storyline--not real life.) then I'm not interested. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. I would be interested in good information, but I just proved my point. I NEED FICTIONAL DRAMA.

I can find real-life drama in my own life. Let me escape to a world where my problems don't exist, where I have the solution to any character's woe in a hour with station breaks. Where else would you give birth to a baby and three years later that same baby graduated from college, landed a job and has an apartment, bigger than your house. Only in daytime television, I tell you.

The soaps are like an old friend you saw everyday in school. You may no longer speak to her on a daily basis, but it's good to know she's there when you phone her, and in seconds you become that silly teenager who bit her nails to the quick.

But in all fairness, it's probably viewers like me who watched the soaps mostly on Soap Net. So I'll own my part in the dropped ratings.

Lucci wrote: "If Brian Frons could show his bosses that he could save the network 40 percent in production costs, he could keep his job even if the rest of us lost ours." She added that several employees on All My Children either lost their jobs or lost money when the show moved from New York to California to save money. "I wonder, did Brian Frons take a pay cut too?" Lucci wrote.

Seems like some of Erica's spice rubbed off on Lucci. I'm just glad she's expressing her views, because she has a right to be angry. She also mentioned in her book about the decline in the quality of writing. She said that when she turned on the show one day, she thought she clicked on the wrong station. Erica didn't recognize Pine Valley? That's like ketchup not recognizing french fries.

Okay, you know where Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter is going with this. Now it's my time for me to be feisty... move over Ms. Lucci. I think they needed to bring on a few new writers, perhaps outside the daytime world, who grew up watching All My Children, and knew the stories inside out that could bring a fresh perspective without changing the premise of the show. Not just hire writers who hopscotched from soap-to-soap and once hired, researched long stories and scripts in order to learn the show's tone and backstory.

I think All My Children's premise faded away when no one was paying attention, just like General Hospital's.

Come on, I'm sure when the husband & wife writing team and GH creators, Frank and Doris Hursley, penned the GH bible... they didn't plan on mob wars taking over the nursing floor drama. No Ma'am... No Sir. Even mob wars haven't been in the news lately. So why are we watching them in daytime drama? What happened to "Love in the Afternoon?" It's now chatting and chewing in the afternoon with tips on where to find the best coupons.

Oops... my foot just plunged into the soap box I'm standing on. They don't make them like they used too. I guess I need to lay off the Starbucks Frappuccinos.

It's ironic that the digital generation is probably responsible for our beloved daytime soaps' demise, when it's the digital generation that will keep the Pine Valley and Llanview residents scheming on the Web for years to come.

That's right, I'm not making up stories in school. You know I love creating storylines, but this is the real deal. I'm sure you heard my shrieks of ecstasy where you live.

Yes, All My Children and One Life to Live will live to see another drama-filled day digitally on the Web. Production Company Prospect Park signed a multi-year, multi-platform deal that will deliver the soaps to fans via online episodes through emerging platforms and internet-enabled television sets.

Can I get a yaaay! But that still doesn't mean I'm going to stop my personal boycott of the ABC talk show, The Chew. I even turn the station when the The Chew's commercials come on. Oh don't cry them a spaghetti sauce river, I still watch those folks on the Food and Style Networks. I have to admit, I'm happy they gave two newbies a shot at reality television fame.

But in all fairness, I'm not mad at ABC. I'm loving their prime-time shows, especially Dana Delaney's Body of Proof. (I wonder if she started on the soaps? Most Hollywood stars did.) However, I'm not loving Dancing with the Stars, this season.

But hey, these are different times. Average Joans, Joes and college students no longer run to their dorm rooms and company lounges to get their soap fix. There are so many other electronic distractions knocking them out of the running. I'm just thrilled AMC and OLTL have landed somewhere I can visit.

But I have a feeling, soaps will gain popularity again in the future. Life goes full circle and so does television. Must I remind you that some of us are watching Hawaii Five-O again, this time on Monday nights and it's pretty darn good.

Debuting last year, Hawaii Five-O's characters, McGarrett and Dan-O hadn't hit the streets of Wakkiki since the early seventies. And let's not forget about our Charlie's Angels, with their sleek guns tucked away in their garter straps--are back for a second curtain call thanks to Executive Producer, Drew Barrymore, our ET angel... all grown up. Of course, we'll never forget our original angels: Farah Fawcett, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith. We'll always remember Farah Fawcett's beautiful smile and her long feathered hair many tried to copy.

Time will tell if daytime soaps will survive to see our toddlers hit the university halls. Stay tuned.

TV Shows That Made the Food and Drink

2011-03-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

Can't you picture analytical Frazier and fastidious Niles still meeting for their morning non-fat cappuccino with light foam and espresso at Café Nervosa? I still have visions of Niles meticulously wiping his seat down with a hankie before sitting his persnickety fanny down. I'm sure Starbucks coffee sales climbed when that popular series hit the air waves.

Cafe' Nervosa: The Connoisseur's Cookbook

Kick Your Career into High Gear... With Grant Writing Success!

And of course our infamous Friends at Central Perk loved their cappuccinos and Lattes too... and scoffing down Chinese food while spinning funny stories about the Ugly Naked guy across the way.

(Friends)

So many memorable food moments made us laugh our heads off... from Jerry Seinfeld's cornucopia of cereal boxes and Kramer's frequent shopping visits to Jerry's kitchen with his "what's yours is mine" attitude... to Jerry mugging an old lady of the last marble rye from Schnitzer's bakery.

The snatched marble rye is one of my favorite episodes.

The Marble Rye - January 1996
(Part A - Rye Episode)
(Part B - Rye Episode)

It goes like this. George takes his parents over to Susan’s parents' house for an anniversary dinner. On the way, Frank Constanza insists on picking up a Marble Rye from Schnitzer’s Bakery to bring to dinner. After dinner, Frank realizes that Susan’s parents never brought out the rye and steals it back. But Susan’s "eagle- eye" parents notice the missing rye.

BLANK SPACE

George gets Kramer to distract them with a horse-drawn carriage ride around Central Park for their anniversary, so he can sneak another rye back into their home. George recruits Jerry to purchase another rye from Schnitzer's, but they sell the last one to an old lady who refuses Jerry's $50 offer. He snatches the rye from her and takes off.

Earlier that day, Kramer fed the horses cans of Beef-A-Reeno because he had an excess after shopping at a wholesale food store. During the carriage ride, the horses release horrible gas. Susan’s parents end the carriage ride too soon and foils George's plan.

Those memorable food moments usually started or ended with a wacky Kramer. Fans enjoyed the famous mango discovery that supposedly gave them a shot of the Love Jones -- and cracked up over Mr. Lippman's Muffin Top business with its own shot of lunacy.

The Muffin Tops - May 8, 1997
(Episode - Part A)
(Episode - Part B)

Elaine inspires her former boss, Mr. Lippman, to open up a muffin top business called "Top of the Muffin to You!" when he notices Elaine only eating the top of a muffin at a party.   He seeks Elaine's advice when it doesn't go as planned. Big mistake. She tells him that he's doing it wrong by just baking the tops. He has to bake the entire muffin and pop off the tops. Only problem... he's stuck with a pile of stumps.

Elaine and Mr. Lippman try giving them to the homeless, but even they don't want them. They end up with bags of stumps, until Norman, "the human garbage disposal," comes to the rescue with four bottles of milk.

BLANK SPACE

Remember when Kramer invested in a popular non-fat yogurt shop Jerry, George and Elaine frequented until Kramer noticed that Elaine and Jerry were gaining weight? Jerry and Elaine secretly had the yogurt tested at a lab and found out it was not low fat and was indeed packing on the pounds. Yeah, like they were so portly.

And then there's my other favorite... the "big salad" debacle. My husband still teases me when I order a large salad. "Oh, you want a big salad, Elaine?"

Our television shows' preoccupation with food had been going on for decades. Fans of the Golden Girls probably gained a few pounds watching their golden escapades around the kitchen table. They often ended their Saturday night dating disappointments commiserating over a cheese cake and chocolate syrup with three forks. I'm craving a slice just thinking about it.

But it doesn't stop with the sitcoms. Oh no, Nanette... I still crave coffee and a 7-Eleven Big Gulp when I tune into NCIS on Tuesday nights. At any given moment, Gibbs and Abbs are slurping down their favorite beverage fix during the prime-time hour.

And you can't tune into Burn Notice without seeing Michael and Fiona scooping vanilla yogurt into their mouths at least once. On Law & Order, you'll see plenty of chop sticks at the end of a long crime-solving day.

Cheers gave the bar happy hour business a boost in the eighties.

Popye had his spinach and Lucy Ricardo's hilarious episode on the chocolate factory assembly line still lure you to the nearest box of confectioners.

Yes, food always added the right spice to a television show's palate.

The Perfect Little Black Dress that Dials Out...

2011-02-02T02:09:00.000-08:00

(Little Black Dress Cell Phone - M-Dress from Cute Circuit)

2011 Art Calendars: The Little Black Dress - 12 Month - 30x30cm

Coco Chanel was far ahead of her time, but not Space Odyssey far. If only Coco could see her Little Black Dress (LBD) now, I think she would approve. Our badge of femininity, a loyal wardrobe staple has gone futuristic, or should I say ... techno. Yes, my fellow Average Joan ... the Best Little Black Dress has arrived to the New Millennium party.

(Coco Chanel)

This year, you'll soon be able to dial your friends and get incoming calls from the hem of your sleeve. Yep, that's right ... an LBD that's a phone. Called the M-Dress, (Moble Phone Dress)and produced by Cute Circuit, this year we'll be able to catch all calls, make them on our way to everywhere in a form-fitting dress with just a simple lift of the wrist to the ear. Drop your arm, and you hang up. Very Jane Bond and the French Connection.

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Okay, you skeptical Joanies, I know what you're thinking. A Little Black Dress doubling as a cell phone, how? And what do you do in the middle of an itch?

Hold off selling your bridges, this hip-hugging soft circuitry cell phone dress has a built-in antennae concealed in the hem. You simply insert a SIM card in a slim slot underneath the label and you're ready to accept calls from your regular cell phone number. I wonder if this classic little black dress will eventually come in a number of styles. We'll just have to wait and see.

The Little Black Dress: How to Make the Perfect One for You - $14.24

OUR WORLD INSPIRED BY

THE LITTLE BLACK DRESS

The Little Black Dress also makes itself known in other areas of our lives, and even satisfies our sweet tooth.

2. LBD Cookie Cutter

3. Voila! The LBD Cookie

(Oh, Sugar!)

This LBD cookie would make a nice favor for the Little Black Dress/Little Pink Dress Sisters Tea for Breast Cancer Survival you can host in the Spring.

First time hearing about it? Here's a brief rundown. The purpose of hosting a Little Black Dress/Little Pink Dress Sisters Tea is to raise funds so friends, sisters, mothers, daughters, congregants, the neighbor down the street ... can help women undergoing or just completed Breast Cancer treatments ... feel good about themselves.

(Orah's Garden Party - O Magazine)

(Oprah's Tea)

Each Tea guest pays a fee determined by the host. Money raised for the Tea provides a massage, a little black dress, a beauty gift basket, gift certificate, or stylish wig ... (whatever the need or desire) anything that helps her feel beautiful and calm during the toughest fight of her life. It's been documented, feeling good helps the healing process. You can also offer beauty services like a manicure or chair massage during the tea for the guest of honor.

Since your guests are already styling in their LBD and LPD best ... why not add a fashion show using a few as models? For more info. and ideas on hosting a Little Black Dress/Little Pink Dress Sisters Tea & Fashion Show stop by iCafe Woman Moderne, a virtual cafe for inter-generational women. I'll provide more info. in the weeks to come.

4. LBD Barbie

Barbie Basics Model #10

Are you surprised? After all, she goes by the name of Fashion Barbie. She wants to look classic and elegant too, and now has her own LBD Collection: Barbie Basics.

(Shenor Collections)

5. Ladies Tea Hats to Wear with Your LBD.
You can find a plethora of beautiful hats to wear with your LBD. This white straw head-turner from the Shenor Spring Collection shows off white satin flowers and white uniquely draped satin trim. I can see myself wearing this to the Little Black Dress/Little Pink Dress Tea with white gloves, of course.

(Little Black Dress Books)

6. Little Black Dress Fiction
Lttle Black Dress Books is a sassy imprint of Headline Publishing Company, UK marketing to women 25 to 35.

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7. Little Black Dress Stationery - Say it with a Little Black Dress Invite.
Ask your girlfriends to be bridesmaids with this fashion statement stationery. How could they refuse?

8. Little Black Dress Art

(LBD Art - All Posters.com)

9. LBD Jewelry

10k White Gold Black and White Diamond "Little Black Dress" Pendant (1/4 cttw, H-I Color, I2-I3 Clarity), 18"

Diane Von Furstenbenberg Black One Shoulder Silk Dress

Diamonds and pearls are still a fashionista's best friend. Sure, the jewelry standard for the LBD dates back to when Coco Chanel first introduced the dress to the world and will always be a nice strand of pearls. But tell me, would you turn away this beautiful LBD pendant? I didn't think so. It looks like a piece of art.

10. LBD and Vintage Plantations Chocolate
And finally, we Average Joans and fashionistas alike love our chocolates, especially the gourmet, fair trade, artistic kind. Enough said.

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Like to Shop? Here are a few more LBD items you'll want to add to your shopping list.

Diane Von Furstenberg Black Sleeveless Wool Dress

Insta-Totes Reusable Little Black Dress Shopping Tote By The Each $7.00

Endangered Species Wolf, Dark (72%) with Cranberries & Almonds, 10-Count Individually Wrapped Pieces (Pack of 6)

The Little Black Dress

White Freshwater Cultured Pearl Mother-and-Daughter Necklace and Earring Set with Sterling Silver Clasp

Itzy Ritzy Nurser Nursing Covers Baby Bamboo and Little Black Dress

Not Your Momma's Bake Sale Cupcakes

2011-01-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

(Sweet! By Good Golly Miss Holly)

Remember when Mom used to make cupcakes for you on a rainy day, or when the PTA needed a quick fundraiser, she'd whip up a batch at a glance.

Back then, cupcakes were simply chocolate, vanilla or lemon with butter cream frosting made from scratch or with Duncan Hines. And if Mom was feeling adventurous, you'd find a batch of marble or cupcakes with sprinkles on top.

If your cupcakes didn't come from Mom's kitchen, they came from the avenue bake shop. We didn't have cafes solely whipping up cupcakes and washed down with a cappuccino or Chai.

(Avenue E Starbucks - New York City)

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(iCafe Woman Moderne)

Where the 1980s and 1990s made everyone want a Latte and wile away at a coffee bar sipping three dollar coffees on a comfy couch, this New Millennium puts you on another comfy couch munching a Vegan cupcake. This tasty rage doesn't seem to be slowing down any time soon.

(Vegan Chocolate Strawberry Shortcake Cupcake - Cupcake Wars)

Gone are the simple chocolate, vanilla and lemon cupcakes .... now we have Crystallized Ginger Olive Oil with Lime Buttercream, Gluten-Free Chocolate Cardamon, Creamsicle, Strawberry Bacon and Maple Cream Cheese, Pink Peppercorn with Chocolate Ganache, Vegan Tiramisu, Dulce de Leche ... the sky's the limit. Cupcakes have even replaced the wedding cake.

(Wedding Cupcakes)

If cake artists can battle it out in a cooking arena, why can't cupcake bakers show they're no wusses either. And they're not.

(Cupcake Wars)

Just like the cooking show, Chopped on Food Network, the contestants on Cup Cake Wars (also on Food Network) are given the challenge of transforming wild, non-cup cake ingredients into "knock your socks off delicious cupcakes" that'll win them the $10,000 prize and exposure at a coveted venue like ... oh, I don't know ... a little event called The Rose Bowl Parade. That's what returning winners were competing for when I watched a few days ago.

(Sweet: By Good Golly Miss Holly)

There' a new trend in town and it's not backing down from a fight. You may scoff at the idea of earning a nice living baking cupcakes, but that's exactly what's happening from sea to shining sea. Corporate honchos, former lawyers, movers and shakers of commerce are cashing out their 401Ks and stock options and living their dreams with a really good mixer.

(Georgetown Cupcake)

I wonder what will be the next culinary big thing. We're into a new decade ... the sky's the limit or should I say, your appetite's the limit.

So Crazy About Toons!

2011-01-21T12:37:00.000-08:00

You Can Have Grant Writing Success!

(Kim Possible)

Animation writing is another one of my adventures into the creative world of possibilities I'm rediscovering. Several years ago, I was busy at writing spec scripts for the children's animation markets. I churned out Rugrats., Kim Possible, Angela Anaconda, Powderpuff Girls ... submitted a few, but other writing opportunities put the animation market on the back-burner.

Rugrats Season 2 (3 Disc Set)

Turn Your Pictures into Cash

(Sponge Bob, Square Pants)

Now fast forward to 2011, we have Sponge Bob, Square Pants and Fairly Odd Parents reigning supreme on Nickelodeon; Hannah Montana on Disney (final season) and ABC Family focusing on live action with our old toon favorites elbowed out of the production studios, but alive and well in the Sahari Desert of syndication programming.

Fairly Odd Parents - Season 6, Vol. 1

I regret letting time pass before making a crack in this ever-changing market. Yes, like everything else, production staffs have streamlined and cutbacks implemented. All the more reason for a freelancer to strike hard. Though the staffs get smaller, the outsourcing often stretches wider.

Now that I'm stepping both feet into the animation game, I'm surveying the land, and a little perplexed at what I see. Yes, there is still great animation being produced, but the style of animation has somewhat changed in the children's television market.

Okay, I'll stop beating around the bush. I miss "Scared of Everything" Tommy, one of the unforgettable Rugrats.   Kim Possible, who could leap tall buildings in a single bout and still have time to shop for rad jeans. Hey Arnold! the prince of the misfits, who lived in a boarding house of adult misfits and somehow he made them all seem cool.

Angela Anaconda

Those adorable Powder Puff Girls (most likely Kim Possible's inspiration) showed us you can defend the world and still enjoy Passion Pink lip gloss and hair glitter. I miss The Wild Thornberrys who traveled the globe and took us with them in their high-tech Winnebago. Angela Anaconda, an Average Joan kid, we rooted for her to live out her super-hero fantasy and show that Nanette Manoir, once and for all. You can still find them on the re-runs, but new stories are not being produced and that makes me sad.

(Powderpuff Girls)

Sure, slap stick humor is the basis of animation, but somehow when we weren't looking, story editors/producers made the characters more like us. Children and adults connected with their stories and saw their own lives conveyed in animation. I miss the animated human stories. There, I said it. However, lately there have been more human characters featured on the animated movie screen: Tangled and Despicable Me just popped into my head.

Yes, Sponge Bob Square Pants has a message in his story lines, but the connection with sea life takes a bigger imagination. Tell me, what is a squirrel doing underwater. Oh right, she does wear an old-time scuba diving suit. Really, what is she doing there? That's right, she's one of Sponge Bob's partner in crimes. Nevertheless, The Fairy Odd Parents stars an ignored-by-his-parents Billy and his doting-to-his-every-need fairy parents who zap into fish, a ball, a book, or anything else when humans other than Billy are around. I'm looking at this show from adult eyes, if I put on my eight-year-old glasses, I could probably relate. But if I put it in this New Millennium perspective where two-home families have become our children's reality, I can see the connection.

Granted, back in the sixties and seventies, you had your Yogi Bear, Tom & Jerry, Top Cat ... and many others. But let's face it, The Flintstones, The Jetsons and Scooby are still big marketing draws generations later because they connected with our lifestyles whether as kids or adults.

Despite what I say, Sponge Bob Square pants connects to children and adults, evidenced in their ratings. It too, may be marketed for decades to come.

To get an upclose and personal look into this crazy world of animation, I'm putting on my old reporter's hat and launching a blog called "Got Scribe?" -- within the next few months -- where I'll interview writers, producers and directors of today's animation, both children and prime-time adult.

But I'm not stopping there. Nope. I'll also jump on the game side and talk to the creative minds behind today's hottest games. Still not stopping there ... I'll check out debut authors and seasoned pros of new book releases ... also playwrights, television writers, copywriters and web writers ... those using their gifts to create amazing fruit for the masses to enjoy.

These are exciting times for the animation and game worlds and you better believe my fingers will be pounding that keyboard creating funny scripts that visit children and adults where they live.

Happy Watching! Stay Tuned.

Harriet's Law and Fine Shoes

2011-01-18T00:40:00.000-08:00

Grant Writing Success

Manolo Blahniks and Kathy Bates?

Go together like David E. Kelley and his prime-time television hits.

Series Creator and Executive Producer, David E. Kelley has done it again! I’d love to sit at his Gucci feet and watch him spin his million dollar web of prime-time entertainment for our viewing pleasure.

I just watched the first episode of David E. Kelley's new legal series, Harry's Law on NBC, and I have to say ... this shines like another winner. I’d change the name to Harriet’s Law and Fine Shoes, it has a nice ring.

Harry's Law steps out of the law/criminal forensics television box, introducing something unexpected. Really unexpected ... a welcomed surprise. A gray-haired Kathy Bates as a gun-toting lawyer with a storefront practice that happens to also sell shoes. Not just your run-of-the mill, Average Joan shoes ... but your designer shoes for fussy fashionistas.

This comes about after a college student tries to commit suicide by jumping off a roof and instead, ricochets off an awning and lands on Harriet (Harry) Korn aka Kathy Bates who just quit her corporate law firm, knocking her unconscious. He survives to become her first client on her own.

You see, he has a drug problem and was charged with possession, but his rehab center closed and he slipped back into using and the cops are using him to go after the big bad dealer ring … blah, blah, blah. But the story pulls at the heart, because he’s a good college kid, who made a mistake and got caught up in the downfalls of life. He doesn’t deserve hard time, he just needs a little help.

He admits to Harriet that he was trying to kill himself, but she broke his fall and there’s a reason he landed on her. He needs a lawyer. She’s supposed to be his lawyer. This miracle will give him another chance at life. One problem, she’s a patent lawyer not a criminal lawyer. That fact changes nothing for him.

I call this a Holy Set-up. She saves his life, and he in turn, gives her life a purpose.

Yes, everything happens for a reason. That’s the underlying theme of this fascinating show. So here we go again. After she’s patched up at the hospital, (the same day the kid falls on her) she stumbles across an abandoned store for sale or rent. Right then and there, she decides to start over with a new practice, and she wants her new life to begin at this storefront.

JIMMY CHOO Drake Black Glitter Sandals 41

Just as she steps off the curb heading for the abandoned store, a speeding sports car plows into her. I kid you not. No, it’s not a cartoon. This is supposed to be real life. Just stay with me. Behind the wheel is a lawyer she worked on a case with and not-so-lovingly referred to as, well … I don’t remember, but it was like, “little weasel.” Once again, she survives to the doctor’s amazement. Her sidekick assistant responds, “She just has a lot of cushion.”

When Harriet and her sidekick assistant, Jenna, move into the store, they discover piles of shoe boxes filled with designer shoes left from a previous tenant. Now that's even more farfetch, but fun to watch. There’s Prada, Jimmy Choo, Manoloe Blahniks, Kate Spade etc.

For me, those sharp designer shoes give the show an extra appeal. I'm like a kid's face pressed against a candy store window, as Jenna pulls out these fabulous shoes.

JIMMY CHOO Ronit Black Embossed Zip Sandals 41

Of course, Kelley has to pull the heart strings tighter with the college kid’s mother showing up at Harriet's law office. Stunned by her surroundings, she says: “You really are practicing shoe store law,” or something to that effect.

By the end of the show, that’s exactly what it looks like. The shoes are arranged on shelves and tables, there are chairs where you can try on the shoes and bookshelves full of law books and shoe displays, and desks for the lawyers (Harriet and the Weasel) to work on their cases. Oh yeah, he weasels his way into a job at her new practice.

She also hires the exonerated college kid as her paralegal, who was sentenced to probation and community service. In the last scene, three thugs come in and show her a contraption they use to steal cars. They’re tired of getting arrested, and now want to go legit by getting a patent, so it can be used by law enforcement agencies.

Shoes, law and a funny, gun-toting, graying, lady lawyer with a blonde sidekick assistant, who knows her designer shoes … are the makings of a shoe-tapping hit!

The Loretta Young Show

2011-01-13T02:22:00.000-08:00

(The Loretta Young Show)

Yesterday morning, I woke up in a start when I heard someone making a ruckus in my bedroom after 8 a.m. "Honey, go back to bed ... the schools are closed. We've got a snow day," my teacher husband said, grinning from ear-to-ear. He's already been up for a few hours taking care of our household.

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My work day starts after I open my laptop at my home office in the corner of my living room. But since I had company today, things would go a little differently. I took advantage of the few extra winks and started my day a little later than usual.

Later, I jumped on my rebounder (mini trampoline) and grabbed the television remote for an hour of exercise. I tipped in on the Barefoot Contessa just as she was pulling a Baba au Rhum from the oven.

(Baba au Rhum)

I increased the speed of my bounce and jumped to the higher numbers on the remote landing on a black and white television show on Channel 243.

A Caucasian woman, who reminded me of a Japanese Geisha girl, was catering to an authentic Japanese man she called Mr. Kiyoshi. He was her husband, but she only referred to him as Mr. Kiyoshi and waited on his every need. I had stumbled on a classic, "The Loretta Young Show," circa: 1953-1960.

What intrigued me was her narration of the story as if she was reading from a novel. It sounded like a book on tape re-enacted on the television screen before my eyes. It was amazing. I couldn't turn away. I've never seen anything like this before. I vaguely remember my Mom talking about watching The Loretta Young Show, and I've seen pictures of her, so her face struck a familiar bell.

The show ran in the usual three acts with the act listed on the screen before the opening scene. Each scene conveyed her thoughts and back story laced with a strong message that would feel at home in today's drama or reality television show.

(Geisha Girls)

It went like this. I don't remember her name, so I’ll call her Chiyoko. Chiyoko's narration was different from “The Middle’s” Frankie whining about the antics of her upper blue collar life.

I tuned into the beginning of Act II where Chiyoko sensed Mr. Kiyoshi was up to no good. While she was giving him a bath … yes, hands-on scrubbing … he began discussing their need to look toward the future.

Without any children of their own, they wouldn't have anyone to care for them in their old age. He had a solution. Adopt a child whom she could train to help with the chores. Not born yesterday, Chiyoko reminded him that a child would, at first, create more work for her.

What he really had in mind was adopting a 20-year-old girl, he knew was up for adoption in Tokyo. Can you imagine? Of course, it was for the sole purpose of lessening his wife's domestic load. Of course. That was his story and he stuck with it. Ah… the plot thickened.

Chiyoko's calm demeanor and respectful tone never changed. She suggested adopting a boy instead. A boy could help him with his fishing business, she reasoned. She’s a clever one. He drops the adoption topic like a hot potato. From the gleam in her eye, she knew he would. Bowing at intervals, she offers to clean his fishing boat. An alarmed Mr. Kiyoshi sputters, “no,the boat doesn’t need cleaning," and leaves the room.

Chiyoko narrates: “Hmm… after three days at sea and the fishing boat does not need cleaning? Well, it is clear my husband does not want me to see something on the boat and that’s exactly what I intend to do. So I will wait for him to go to sleep for the night before I steal away to the boat to see what my husband has been up to.”

She watches him smile in his sleep, before taking off for the dilapidated boat. Her search does not come up empty. She finds a huge pearl hidden away in a tea kettle. She tells us that her husband has made his plans, so she will now make hers.

The next day, an elated Mr. Kiyoshi makes up an excuse about needing to go to Tokyo for the day. But first, he has to pick up something from his fishing boat before he leaves. She goes with him to the boat despite his protests. With her there, he won’t examine the pearl, he’ll just put it in his pocket fast so she doesn’t see it.

Off to Tokyo he goes and meets up with a 20-year-old waitress. He narrates how he wants to make the 20-year-old smile and she will when she sees what he has for her. He opens the napkin where he hid the pearl and there’s now a small rock in it. He can't figure out what happened.

A disheartened Mr. Kiyoshi returns home to his doting wife. Chiyoko goes about her subservient duties offering him food, which he declines, a bath … he also declines, and Sake, he takes. She insists that he goes outside with her.

“Where are you taking me,” he cries out. She points to his brand new boat and tells him it was paid in full. He looks into her eyes and then at the beautiful boat. In that powerful, wordless moment they both face what the other had done and was planning to do.

He cups her face in his hands and says, “Mrs. Kiyoshi … you are a very wise woman and a very good wife."

(The Loretta Young Show)

Lesson learned. She stopped him from making a fool of himself and ending the life that was hers to keep. At the end of the story, Lorretta Young appears as herself in a living room dressed in a flowing gown and speaks to her viewers. She quotes what sounds like scripture from the Bible to reveal the lesson in the story, and then says goodbye. "Tune in next week … same time … same place."

This wife played her hand well to keep her marriage intact. Don't you just love vintage television. We think times have changed since we’ve entered the Electronic Age. Not so much .... life travels in circles with the same stories but different characters and clothes.

Here's what I found out from The Museum of Broadcast Communications about The Loretta Young Show.

(The Loretta Young Show)

The Loretta Young Show, airing on NBC from 1953 to 1961, was the first and longest-running anthology drama series to feature a female star as host and actress. Film star Loretta Young played a variety of characters in well over half of the episodes, but her glamorous, fashion-show entrances as host became one of the most memorable features of this prime-time series.

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Now You See It ... Now You Don't - Hidden Assets

2011-01-11T13:05:00.000-08:00

A Dream Home Office in A Cramped Space

Smart Home Office Design Ideas

I playfully refer to my office as the corner office. Actually it is, but not the sprawling corporate corner office with windows on two sides and room for a sectional you might imagine. My corner office sits in a cramped corner of my small living room, the first floor apartment in my duplex home. So when I saw this sneak peek of a 2007 January article in Martha Stewart Living entitled, Hidden Assets and the photo below ... I knew it had to be mine.

Now You See It...

(Apartment Therapy.com)

The Pro Resume Writer Program

One more time ...

Look closely ... now you see a small home office with every work paraphernalia you need just a reach away. Since I plan to scale down, this is perfect for me. My sample scripts and copywriting seed files can go in the binders or magazine containers on the bottom shelf like in the photo.

But I'd go with natural, eco-friendly storage containers that would give my tight office space a more "office spa" feel. I also like the idea of putting pastel book covers on my Writers' Market, Screenwriter's Bible, Children's Writer's and Illustrator's Market and other writer resource books I use on a regular basis. Covering books in neutral or pastel covers is pure Martha Stewart.

Now You See It ... Now You Don't!

(ApartmentTherapy.com)

What's missing? Ah ... the office, now tucked away between two bookshelves. A hollow door on a track system conceals all of the not-so-pretty home office equipment we can't survive without. Martha Stewart rocks with this ingenious home office for small spaces. You can still have your workspace in your living room and not have to look at it. I love it!

Martha attached a frame around three bookshelves you can easily get at Ikea or upgrade to Pier One Imports -- placed a hollow door on a track system and voila! ... you have a hidden office space gem.

If you're not particularly handy, but want to take on this project yourself ... go to DIYNetwork.com or HGTV.com or your local Big Box Home Improvement Store (Lowe's or Home Depot) and ask for instructions. It's probably easier than you think. I'll let you know.

For my purposes, I'd add two bamboo plywood horizontal doors to a shelf on the left and a shelf on the right to house my biggest printer (I have two) and extra monitor for when I choose to switch to my desktop. My wireless laptop would own the prime real estate in the center. I'd also add padded fabric to the door to give it the posh factor this Average Joan loves, maybe something vintage or harlequin.

Hey, why not take it up a notch, as our illustrious Emeril Lagasse would say ... and cover the hollow door with bamboo veneer or replace it with bamboo plywood (plyboo) that matches the horizontal doors on the book shelves. (Note: Your big box home improvement store may also have this product or a more budget-friendly bamboo plywood if you want to add these touches)

(Plyboo Images from Smith & Fong)

Another plus, the relaxing colors of the bookshelves and contents are muted allowing creativity to flow in an peaceful way.

Grant Writing Success!

Living Room Arrangement

Peacefulness continues in the wall color, beige couch and armless, leather mid-century inspired chairs and accessories. My beige Natuzzi leather couch with its dark legs would be the perfect replacement. I just need to find those white tufted chairs or something similar with the same clean lines. It really does look like a spa reception area. This would even work with a small sectional that had the look of the chairs.

(Modern Home Idea)

Because I love the ocean, my wall color would be a pale aqua accented with shades of sand and cream horizontal stripes to widen the space. I'd add a desk size water feature, sand and shells in a jar (I've collected from Florida and Hawaii vacations), and my enlarged Hawaii photos framed in bamboo or rattan in alternating light and dark finishes. My current green, beige and rose oriental rug would stay put, providing grounding for the light components in the space.

The white floor lamp is great but, I'd add a lamp shade with polka dots or circles for a little whimsy.

Check out another "Hidden Gem" from Modern Home Idea.

Home Office Work Station

(modern home office)

A closet? Nope ... it's a smart home office. If you're wireless and have a good size closet in a tight space, this could work. Of course, Joan B. Average's shelves would be filled with grass cloth organizers.

Keep it simple ... keep it calm and always keep it useful and I'm sure your productivity will soar. Don't forget my motto: "Turn the ordinary into extraordinary" ... you know that's what Average Joans do.

Are you currently working in your dream office or is it a future DIY project? Tell me about it. Aloha!

AWAI's Accelerated Program for Six-Figure Copywriting

TV Barbies: A Wannabe Collector's Dream

2011-01-07T22:43:00.000-08:00

Barbie Julia Doll

2011 is the year I start collecting fashion dolls. Really. But not just any fashion doll or Barbie will do ... I'm on the hunt for television show-inspired fashion dolls. Let me be specific ... the-back-in-the-day fashion dolls designed in the image of popular 50s, 60s and 70s sitcom characters. However, I might be persuaded into buying a butt-kicking Agent Ziva David doll from NCIS if it existed.

(Agent Ziva David)

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For now, I'm on the hunt for a Julia Baker, Ann Marie, Lucy Ricardo and Jeannie fashion dolls.

I've always wanted a Julia doll from the 1968, history-making television show, Julia!, starring Diahann Carroll as the widowed nurse, Julia Baker. I've also had my eyes on That Girl and I Dream of Jeannie Barbies.

Barbie Pop Culture That Girl

Yes, I'll admit it, I'm a longtime Barbie girl, who treasured a hand-me-down Barbie doll collection I played with as a kid. If a collector wants a raggedy Barbie with barbecue potato chips and chocolate milk stains then I'm in the market.

I think I came out of my mother's womb reaching for a Barbie. Sure, I had those big "Baby Suzie Wets Herself" dolls thrust into my arms that I always threw to the floor. Doll babies were not my thing. Even at the tender age of two, I'd watch in awe as my older sister played with her blonde, pony-tailed Barbie, her brunette, chocolate Toni, red-headed Midge and Skipper with the blunt bangs ... to her heart's content.

I wonder why Mattel never added stains to the "I Love Lucy" Barbies, which would've truly reflected her zany character and escapades. Need I mention the wine-making episode of Lucy and a Village woman smashing grapes in a barrel at an Italian vineyard that turned into a W.F. Smack Down! Or when she and Ethel crammed chocolate down their dresses to keep up with the chocolate factory's super fast conveyor belt.   Hilarious! Lucy Ricardo dolls, also on my list, are still big sellers today.

Back to my sister and her Barbies ... I'd throw a rattle at her from my playpen and shout, "Me ... me..." hoping she'd get the hint and put one of those dream dolls in my drool-drenched hands.

It had the opposite effect. She'd scream for Mom to remove me from her proximity, which Mom promptly obliged. Didn't they understand ... I liked the idea of always being dressed and ready for a pool party, driving around town in a hot pink convertible and returning home to a Malibu dream house after a long day of shopping and fun. It sounded like a great plan, and one I intended on pursuing right after puberty.

Barbie Collector I Love Lucy, Lucy Gets In Pictures Lucy Doll

And how could you not want an I Love Lucy doll. Are you kidding me?

(Lucy and Ethel at the Chocolate Factory)

Her antics in the chocolate factory and her hilarious stint as a movie chorus line girl made you feel that you could still shine, after tripping over your feet and dropping your strawberry milkshake that splashed in your face. She made it okay to be a geeky girl.

I Love Lucy Doll "Tv Commercial" From Episode 30 Collector Edition

In my toddler world, Barbies ruled the universe. No Mattel Chatty Cathy or Ideal Betsy Wetsy doll could come close.

(Mattel's Chatty Cathy)

(Ideal's Betsy Wetsy Baby)

Speaking of geeky girls, I'm surprised Seinfeld's Elaine Benes didn't make it into the fashion doll world. It would've made a great Seinfeld memorabilia.

(Seinfeld's Elaine Benes)

Thank goodness, That Girl and I Dream of Jeannie were on the toy shelves.

(Marlo Thomas.com)

I wanted to be That Girl, starring Marlo Thomas, who played Ann Marie, a sheltered struggling actress from a New York suburbs determined to make it on her own. From the minute I watched her running in her white hat on a busy Manhattan street in the show's intro, I knew I wanted to follow in her footsteps. Like Ann Marie I also moved to New York City after college, not by way of Brewster, New York, but after a few years of living in the Bronx and Newark.

Unlike Ann Marie, my parents didn't pay for my sprawling apartment on West 78th Street, Apt. 4D. I needed a few years to get the moola together to pay for my half of a post-rent controlled apartment in Morningside Heights, Manhattan aka Upper Upper West Side aka Harlem USA.

I didn't have visions of starring on Broadway like That Girl and unfortunately I didn't meet my Donald for several years. My dates ... Icky Ricky, Knucklehead Ned and Slimy Tommy ... snatched my naive attention for a season. I lived my version of That Girl in a Living Single kind of way, that popular nineties sitcom on Fox about six Buppies ... Black Urban Professionals. I thought for sure there would be a Regine or a Sinclaire doll during the show's heyday. Watch episodes on TV One.

(Living Single)

Captain Nelson's Genie also named Jeannie was a little risque for that wholesome television time period. I would say they pushed the envelope for 1965. Check out the reruns on TV Land.

(I Dream of Jeannie)

I Dream of Jeannie (1965 to 1975) was a scantily clad, 2000 year-old fantastical Genie who lived in a bottle, played by Barbara Eden. Astronaut Captain Nelson (Larry Hagman) found and opened the bottle when his space shuttle landed on a deserted South Pacific island, releasing a beautiful Jeannie and a funny sitcom that somehow stayed wholesome. There were no bedroom scenes between them, not even after they were married.

According to Wikipedia, "censors allowed her to be depicted living in a house with an unmarried man (because early episodes made it plain that she slept in her bottle), but would not permit Eden's navel to be seen."

Viewers didn't see anything explicit like today's reality television.
Everything and anything goes in this millennium. Reality show divas seem to be pushing the sitcom mommies and gal pals out of the TV limelight. You think they're going down quietly ... not a chance.

(The Middle)

Especially not the comedic queens of ABC's Wednesday night lineup: The Middle's Ever Sarcastic Mom, Frankie Heck ... Modern Family's Super Mom, Obsessive Claire, Step Mommy Spicy Gloria and "She Should Be at an AA Meeting" Jules, star of Cougar Town and her ditsy, wise-cracking gal pals, Laurie and Ellie.

(Cougar Town)

Just try and shut them up, they'll cut you with their black stiletto heels (in Frankie's case ... never worn knock-offs) before they let that happen. Why would you want to shut them up, when they keep us laughing?

Barbie Gold Label Collection Kimora Lee Simmons (A Limited Production Collector Doll )

Reality shows from Style Network's Kimora: Life in the Fab Lane, "The Housewives of Everywhere a Film Crew Goes" to Snooki and The Jerseylicious pals are not going away anytime soon. Will there be dolls in their future? Kimora took that giant step for reality show kind a few years ago with her Kimora Barbie.

Here are some more TV-inspired fashion dolls:

Hannah Montana

Hannah Montana Live in Concert Doll Sings "Pumping Up the Party"

Disney Hannah Montana Stylin Miley Pop Star Fashion Doll

(Mad Men)

Four characters from AMC's hit television show, Mad Men, will be immortalized into Barbies and Kens this summer -- Advertising Exec, Don Draper, his wife, Betty, colleague John Sterling and his secretary, Joan Holloway. The show is set in 1960, a year after Barbie was born.

Dynasty's Alexis

Barbie Collector Dynasty Alexis Doll Barbie Collector Dynasty Alexis Doll

Dynasty's Krystle

I Love Lucy: The Complete Series

I Love Lucy - The Complete First Season

That Girl - Season 2

I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete Series

I Dream of Jeannie: The Complete First Season

Promise of a New Day!

2011-01-06T01:05:00.000-08:00

Social Networking: The 21st Century Way to Find New Clients

Happy New Year!

A New Day ... A New Decade ... Welcome 2011!

A new television network begins, OWN, the Oprah Winfrey Network takes it's place in history.

(OWN Network)

New toys will come into the marketplace, like the Janet Jackson doll below.

(Janet Jackson Doll - L.I.M.E.)

Desktop Marketing for Success, Independence and Income

Page-turning books from undiscovered authors will be published and new television shows will soar, while others don't make it off the landing strip.

(MTV's Jersey Shore Star - New Author)

Like life, there's a time for television shows to be born and a time for them to die... sad, but true. What marks a sitcom's or episodic's untimely demise? It all comes down to timing and television ratings.

A bad time slot can be bad for a show's health. Jay Leno experienced this when he tried launching a show in a different format at the 10 p.m. hour -- a time slot where crime drama shows and hospital dramas run supreme.

Viewers just weren't ready to hear variety show jabber a hour and half earlier. On the same token, Conan O'Brien couldn't hold the ratings together either in his predecessor's time slot.

So, one would assume that the style of show has to also mesh with the time slot, the network's programming and viewer demographics.

Are Average Joans and Joes mostly watching? Or do we have a mix of the latter with the Beverly Hills House Wives and Donald Trump CEO types?

There's no way around it, a drop in ratings can infect a television show. What's a network to do, but to play follow the bouncing show? They change the show's time slot and/or day in hopes of resuscitating it. If they detect a weak pulse, they'll add new characters, tweak story lines, re-design the set, etc.

The network powers that be, may even take the show in a new direction with this shot of heparin that it prays will stop it from clotting the ratings and bring in more viewers. But let's say, nothing works ... our XYZ show continues to decline and the show's prognosis ... terminal.

Enters a popular cable network, this notorious champion of terminal shows decides this family comedy warrants heroic efforts and offers life support until the ailing show breathes on its own. If it hangs on for another year or so, especially if it ran a few years on prime-time network, it can survive on syndication reruns for a few more years after it ends.   Hope springs eternal ... even in television land.

SHOWS WE SAID GOODBYE TO IN 2010

Here's the other side. A television show could be in good health, but the main star wants to call it quits. Not exactly suicide, but it has that same suicidal feel when it's your favorite television show.

(Monk)

1. Monk
Actually both scenarios happened to this Average Joan's favorite show just a month short of 2010, "Monk," lovingly known as the "defective detective." I mourned and moaned over the unexpected end of Adrian Monk. First airing on NBC, it didn't have the anticipated ratings' success until it slid into the number one spot on the USA Network.

Immediately, it began breathing on it's own and struck an appealing chord with viewers, winning an Emmy, Golden Globe and Screen Actor's Guild awards.

Adrian Monk isn't exactly your Average Joe, but his obsessive-compulsive tendencies didn't stop him from brilliance and turning the ordinary into the extraordinary. His weaknesses were many, but he used them to crack unsolvable cases to the naked eye.

(Monk's Cast)

"Here's what happened," he'd say right before unraveling a murderer's evil web of deception ... and of course, after a lot of towel wipes.

He hated a crooked line. His food couldn't touch each other. And he'd freak over a baker's dozen. Everything had to be in perfect order and symmetry. Sadly, Monk said goodbye after 8 seasons and 125 episodes.

(Ugly Betty)

2. Ugly Betty
I still wonder if the show would've hung on longer if Betty had stayed "so-called ugly" with her infamous braces, poncho and furry eyebrows.

(Ugly Betty)

But no ... during the last two seasons she peaked into a Prada-wearing fashionista wielding an associate editor laptop ... no longer the ugly duckling. But at least we were gifted a satisfying (IMHO - In My Humble Opinion) series finale when she and Daniel ended up in Paris with an "It Was You All Along" hint of a happily-ever-after ending for this most unlikely couple.

(Law & Order)

3. Law & Order
You'd have to be from another planet if you don't know the Law & Order television franchise: "Law & Order," "Law & Order: SVU," "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," "Law & Order: UK" and the latest, "Law & Order: Los Angeles."

Let's see, there was the mother who drowned her children in a car, the mistress accused of murdering the married professional basketball player, the rap artist killed by a rival rap artist ... and so forth. Stories plucked from today's headlines and molded for the crime show screen.

(Law & Order 2009)

Each one, pretty much, kept the same formula. In the first half, detectives investigate the murder, then ADAs prosecute the crime in court hopefully carting the scumbag off to prison.

(Law & Order 2009)

Gone But, Far from Forgotten

Even though we had to bid adieu to the original "Law & Order" (1990 to 2009) -- one year short of surpassing "Gun Smoke"
(1955 to 1975) as the longest running prime-time drama in U.S. History -- we can still tune into the popular "Law & Order: SVU" and the newest: "Law & Order: Los Angeles."

Last Spring, NBC gave the last rites to the original "Law & Order" and Law & Order: Criminal Intent. Fortunately for us, we'll get to say goobye to "Criminal Intent's" original detectives who made the show, Detectives Robert Goren and Alex Eames, in Spring 2011 for the Series Finale episode.

(Law & Order: SVU)

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit - The Twelfth Year

Here's the scoop on Law & Order I found on Wikipedia.

"Law & Order" premiered on September 13, 1990, and completed its 20th and final season on May 24, 2010. At the time of its cancellation, "Law & Order" was the longest-running crime drama on American prime-time television, and tied for longest running American drama series of all time with "Gunsmoke;" both are the second longest-running scripted series with ongoing characters after "The Simpsons."

(The Simpsons)

So put away those tissues ... "SVU" and "Law & Order: Los Angeles" are riding the television air waves with startling finesse.

(Law & Order: Los Angeles)

"SVU" spices up its stories with guest-starring celebrities like: Jennifer Love Hewitt, ("Ghost Whisperer") Tracey Pollan, Joan Cusack and Maria Bello ... Debbie Messing ("Will & Grace") will guest star on an episode in the Spring. It pays to guest star on SVU. Guest-starring celebrities have snagged 16 Emmy Nominations over the years.

(Jennifer Love Hewitt)

Our fearless captain of this television flotilla, Executive Producer and Creator Dick Wolf, also navigated over the "seas in 2009 and landed on: "Law & Order: UK." Don't worry, you'll be saying, "sod off," and calling your friends mates in no time ... while the Brits smile with pride.

Okay, you can bring out your tissues again.

Here's a short rundown of shows canceled in the

2009-2010 television season:

As the World Turns (CBS) - after 54 years

Better Off Ted (ABC)

Bill Moyers Journal (PBS)

Cold Case (CBS)

Gary Unmarried (CBS)

The Ghost Whisper (CBS)

Guiding Light (CBS) - after 57 years

Flash Forward (ABC)

Lincoln Heights (ABC Family)

Lost (ABC)

Monk: Season Eight

Ravensburger The Simpsons - 240 Piece puzzleball

Ugly Betty: The Complete Fourth and Final Season

Law & Order Criminal Intent - The Second Year

Twas the Day After Christmas...

2010-12-26T19:27:00.000-08:00

(Life Magazine Photo) (snow blizzard images)

And all through the land, snow pummeled the East Coast eight to 12 inches most of the day.

You made hot chocolate and sprayed whipped cream, while pondering over the pile of Christmas gifts you couldn't drive to the mall and return right away.

So you poured a second cup of hot chocolate, dust off the cobwebs from your treasured boxed games, and dug out Monopoly, Scrabble and Clue from your basement to play.

(Vintage Monopoly)

Sure, the kids whined and the husband too when enforcing the "no video game/no Web on snow days" rules, but your goal is to bring the family together and reaping big rewards, because this special snow day after Christmas surprised you and came true after all.

Enjoy the blizzard snow storm!

Nix the gourmet hot chocolate packets. Here are some delicious snow day cocoa recipes ... don't forget the whipped cream.

(allrecipes.com)

Creamy Hot Cocoa

Ingredients

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup white sugar
1 pinch salt
1/3 cup boiling water
3 1/2 cups milk
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup half-and-half cream

Directions

Combine the cocoa, sugar and pinch of salt in a saucepan. Blend in the boiling water. Bring this mixture to an easy boil while you stir. Simmer and stir for about 2 minutes. Watch that it doesn't scorch. Stir in 3 1/2 cups of milk and heat until very hot, but do not boil! Remove from heat and add vanilla. Divide between 4 mugs. Add the cream to the mugs of cocoa to cool it to drinking temperature.

(allrecipes.com)

Candy Cane Hot Chocolate

Ingredients

4 cups milk
3 (1 ounce) squares semisweet chocolate, chopped
4 peppermint candy canes, crushed
1 cup whipped cream
4 small peppermint candy canes

Directions

In a saucepan, heat milk until hot, but not boiling. Whisk in the chocolate and the crushed peppermint candies until melted and smooth. Pour hot cocoa into four mugs, and garnish with whipped cream. Serve each with a candy cane stirring stick.

Perhaps you want to mix it up and make a Chai Tea. Here's a great recipe from Simply Recipes.com

Chai Tea

Spice ingredients for one pot of tea:
1/2 of a star anise star
10-12 whole cloves
6-7 whole allspice
1 heaping teaspoon of cinnamon bark (or 2 short sticks)
6-7 whole white peppercorns
1 cardamon pod opened to the seeds (not pictured)

Other ingredients:
1 cup water
4-6 cups whole milk
2 heaping tablespoons of a high quality full-bodied broad-leaf black tea (Ceylon, or English Breakfast if a broad-leaf Ceylon is not available)
Sugar

Method

1 In a 2-qt saucepan, add spices to 1 cup of water. Bring to a boil; remove from heat; let steep for 5-20 minutes, depending on how strong a spice flavor you want.
2 Add 4-6 cups of whole milk to the water and spices. If you don't have whole milk, you can also use non-fat or low-fat milk, just add some cream to it, a few tablespoons. Bring the milk and spice mixture just to a boil and remove from heat.
3 Add the tea to the milk and let steep for 5 to 10 minutes to taste. (Option at this point - reheat to a simmer and remove from heat.) You can add sugar at this point, or serve without sugar and let people put the amount of sugar in they want. Traditionally, sugar is added before serving.
4 Strain into a pot. Serve. Add sugar to taste.

Baby Jesus in a Manger

2010-12-24T02:26:00.000-08:00

Remember the Baby Named Jesus ...
Because God loved us, he shone light into a dying world and saved us from darkness with the birth of this precious baby Jesus Christ, born in a manger in a town named Bethlehem by the Virgin Mary.

We celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ and His gift of salvation. We already have the greatest gift all ... and no gift card or diamond from Jared's could take His place.

So as the turkey roasts, the yams bake, the tables are set ... let's give thanks for our blessings and share them with others.

"Glory to God in the highest and on earth

peace to menon whom His favor rests." Luke 2:14

"Be gentle and ready to forgive, never hold grudges. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." Collossians 3:13

Joan B. Average Scriptwriter wishes you a Blessed and Joyous Christmas! While you're visiting with friends and families ... curl up with your favorite child. Here are a few children's books from celebrity authors who could quit their day job.

And after you've read up an appetite, why not make a few tasty, fun and fast snacks together: Nutty Caramel Chocolate Apples, Chocolate Apples (with your choice of topping or without) and Nutty Caramel Popcorn. Recipes below.

Whoopie Goldberg

Toeshoe Trouble (Sugar Plum Ballerinas, Book 2)

Coming January 5, 2011

Sugar Plum Ballerinas #3: Perfectly Prima

President Barack Obama

Of Thee I Sing: A Letter to My Daughters

Queen Latifah

Queen of the Scene Book and CD

Jamie Lee Curtis

My Mommy Hung the Moon: A Love Story

Jason Alexander (George Costanza of Seinfeld)

Dad, Are You The Tooth Fairy?

Tim McGraw

My Little Girl

You'll enjoy reading these books with your child, grandchild, nephew, niece, the kid next door ... from two popular series that embrace individuality, "Fancy Nancy and Junie B. Jones."

Fancy Nancy: Splendiferous Christmas

Junie B. Jones's First Boxed Set Ever! (Books 1-4)

After you finish reading, you'll probably want a snack. Here are two yummy recipes you can make together. Warning: be prepared for chocolate-smeared kisses.

(nutty chocolate caramel apples - from E-How.com)

For the Nutty Chocolate Caramel Apples above first follow the instructions on the package of Kraft Caramels, then refrigerate the caramel apples for 15 to 30 minutes, or until caramel has set. Here's how to make chocolate covered apples.

Here's Tyler Florence's Recipe for Chocolate Covered Apples from Food Network Television.

Gourmet Chocolate Covered Apples
(They're gourmet because they look like apples
you'd find in a chocolate cafe.

Ingredients

6 medium sweet-tart apples, such as Braeburn, Fuji, or Gala
Popsicle sticks
1 pound semisweet chocolate, cut into chunks
1 cup M & M's, chopped pistachios, shredded coconut, toffee pieces, or crushed Oreos

Directions

Twist off the stems from the apples and push a Popsicle stick down into the core. Put the apples in the fridge while preparing the chocolate; they'll coat better if they're cold.

Slowly melt the chocolate in a double boiler over hot water or in a microwave set on high for 2 minutes, stirring halfway through the heating time to smooth it out. Remove from the heat and stir until completely melted and warm, not hot. Dunk each apple into the chocolate, allowing the excess to drip back into the bowl. Roll the apples around in the chocolate, turning with the stick, so it's coated all the way up to the top. Use a spoon to baste any hard to get spots.

Put the desired coating in a separate bowl and roll the dipped apple around so it is completely covered. Set the chocolate dipped apples on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper. Refrigerate until the chocolate is set.

This Nutty Caramel Corn treat will satisfy your sweet and salty craving when you're watching a movie on your Christmas Blue Ray. (Note: These recipes are for children without peanut allergies)

Here's What You'll Need:

popcorn
cashews
brown sugar
corn syrup
butter
salt
cream of tartar
baking soda
waxed paper

Nutty Caramel Corn (From E-How.com)

Use 5 quarts of popped popcorn, 1 cup of unsalted cashews, 2 cups of packed light brown sugar, 1/2 cup of light corn syrup, 1 cup (2 sticks) of unsalted butter, 1 teaspoon of salt, 1/4 teaspoon of cream of tartar, and 1 teaspoon of baking soda.

Heat the oven to 200 degrees. Mix the popped corn and the cashews into a roasting pan

In a 3 quart saucepan, combine the sugar, syrup, butter, salt and the cream of tartar. Bring the mixture to boiling and stir it over medium high. Without stirring boil it until is becomes the hard ball stage which is around 260 degrees on a candy thermometer for 6 to 8 minutes. Remove it from the heat and quickly stir in the baking soda. Pour the mixture over the popcorn into the roasting pan. Stir it to coat all of the popcorn in the pan.

Bake in the oven at 200 degrees for 1 house. Occasionally stir the mixture. After it is done spread the popcorn onto the waxed paper lined baking sheets. Let it cook. Break the popcorn apart and serve.

Merry Christmas!

Stocking Stuffers for Writers

2010-12-20T01:36:00.000-08:00

Social Networking: The 21st Century Way to Find New Clients

(Book Christmas Tree - Oddee.com)

Are you stumped as to what kind of stocking stuffer to give your writer spouse, boyfriend, sister-friend, best bud...?

Don't be ... we're a pretty easy bunch to please, especially if we're aspiring or career-changing. If the writer in your life is an Average Joan or Joe, it's probably easier than you think. It's true, fiction writers, novelists, scriptwriters, playwrights ... never really retire, so you need to find a gift-giving system that'll produce great gifts for your prolific loved one for Christmases to come.

So let's get to it. Here are some
wrong perceptions about writers

Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter will tackle first.

1. Most writers concentrate on one writing field.

Not anymore. With the electronic media explosion making its presence known, print writers have turned overnight into
Web-writing geeks. Fiction writers are venturing into scriptwriting and writing plays. Scriptwriters are now bogarting their way into the land of video games and adult novelists have found their inner child and hopscotched into the children's market, and so forth.

1a. Here's a unique and practical idea. Pay for an online writing course from AWAI - American Writers & Artists Inc.

You can create your own gift card, include the online link and stuff it in your favorite scribe's stocking. Your gift recipient will enjoy the benefits, and you'll become their personal super hero or super shero. (Click Links Below)

Copywriting 2.0 Your Complete Guide to Writing Web Copy that Converts

Desktop Marketing for Success, Independence and Income

How to Write Your Own Money-Making Websites

2. Writers Don't Want Pens as gifts.

Yes, we do. Take it from one who can never keep a good pen. But we want a pen that will live past a season. It shouldn't break the bank, but sure ... do a little research if you want a long-lasting one. Find a pen that has great reviews from consumers.

Monteverde Invincia Black Tie Carbon Fiber Ballpoint Pen (MV41150) $40

Montblanc Meisterstuck Black Ballpoint Pen 164 $199

Pilot G2 Fine Point Rolling Ball Black Gel Ink Pens, 2-Pack (31031)

3. A Coffee Bar Gift Card

A Brewmaster Coffeemaker would be a dream but we're talking about stocking stuffers here. A cafe gift card or even a McDonald's gift card used at McCafes would work just fine.

If your special scribe currently lives feast to famine, a Starbucks or The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf gift card is a delightful splurge during the famine. Like when you're in your slow season, or waiting for that big advance to arrive ... you're not buying $5.00 coffees by the cup, that's for sure.

4. Books are too obvious ... these are expected gifts.

Okay, so we create the unexpected in our literary and scriptwriting lives, but there's nothing wrong with receiving a familiar standby ... a good book ... or a good writing book is even better. We gotta eat, so we have to keep our skills sharp. You're never too experienced to learn new tricks or a new writing niche. It never hurts to expand on what you know.

Here are a few of my favorites...

An Introduction to Writing for Electronic Media: Scriptwriting Essentials Across the Genres - You can get the paperback or Kindle edition too.


Letting Go of the Words: Writing Web Content that Works (Interactive Technologies)

The Ultimate Guide to Video Game Writing and Design

5. Professional Writers don't have time for leisure reading.

That's true, but we make the time. And a Kindle, well that's just the cherry on top of the writers' stocking stuffer sundae. What was that ... your loved scribe don't have one yet? Prices have dropped, this is the time to act. I'm just saying.

Kindle Wireless Reading Device, Wi-Fi, Graphite, 6" Display with New E Ink Pearl Technology

6. Writers have enough journals.

We always welcome another one, especially if it's handcrafted by an artisan in a third world country.

Check out these great stocking stuffers from Ten Thousand Villages -- a fair trade retailer -- that'll keep giving to artisans in impoverished villages.

Kancu Leaf & Bamboo Journal (above)

APIKRI artisans, an independent association known as the Indonesian People's Handicraft Foundation, handcrafted the covers from the elegant fan-shaped leaves of the kancu tree. Pages are glued separately from the hardboard covers and tastefully bound with wood and cord.

Okay, it may be a little big for the Christmas stocking on the fireplace, but you can up the size or place it on the mantel.

However, these mini journals will fit perfectly in your writer's stocking.

Set of 3 Mini Journals

Women artisans in rural Bangladesh handcrafted these mini journals -- 3.5x2.5 inches (great for ideas and notes) -- from the cover to the pages. Shades of blue and green are accented with bits of newsprint in Bengali script.

Inspirational Bookmarks

“Hope,” “Peace” and “Wisdom” adorn these encouraging bookmarks and represents the Papyrus paper artistry from Jirmit Papyrus in Mallawi, Upper Egypt. Papyrus paper is made from papyrus reed, just as it has been done for 6,000 years.

Jirmit Papyrus Artisans preserve this ancient Egyptian Art. The Jirmit Papyrus Group is a registered fair trade organization that generates work for unemployed young adults in the Egyptian town of Mallawi.

More Great Writers' Stocking Stuffers

7. Flash Drive

Kingston Digital 8 GB USB 2.0 Hi-speed Datatraveler Flash Drive DT101G2/8GBZ, Red

Flash Drives are a must when going from desktop to laptop, especially when you're always on the go.

8. A Micro Recorder Pen (Very James or Jane Bond)

Livescribe 4 GB Echo Smartpen

A Great gift for a reporter to a mystery writer. Captures thousands of pages of notes and over 800 hours of audio. Share notes and recordings privately or online with 500 MB of free storage.

9. Chocolate Truffles -- Another personal favorite.

What? We have to stay awake when we're burning the midnight oil, so why not enjoy a piece of mouth-watering chocolate with a caffeine jolt.

Lindt Lindor Truffles Assorted ~ 5 Flavors ~ 50ct Gift Bag

10. Ear Plugs

Hearos Xtreme Protection, 14-Pair Foam (Pack of 3)

I can't tell you how many times I have to use my ear plugs when I'm working.

And/Or

10a Noise Canceling Headphones

JVC HANC250 High-Grade Noise-Cancelling Headphones

Happy Stuffing!

Want More Gift ideas from Ten Thousand Villages online and retail stores stop by iCafe Woman Moderne with your favorite hot beverage.

Don't Be Shy, Market Yourself ...

2010-12-07T19:57:00.000-08:00

(Microsoft)

Social Networking: The 21st Century Way to Find New Clients

In Your Everyday Life Too.
Especially When Serendipity
Makes a Surprise Visit.
Be Ready for Your Holy Set-up.

(Microsoft)

Wouldn't it be great if jobs came to you at a snap of the fingers? In these dog days of recession, diversity has inched its way up the popularity ladder and now hangs out with specialization, but at any moment will leap to the next rung.

(flickr.com)

Many writers and small businesses have their hands in several different markets or fields. There's the baker who designs eye-catching wedding cakes and desserts for celebrations, but this dog lover also bakes delicious treats for the four-legged kind.

(Microsoft)

How about the dance school owner who between pliés and

arabesques runs a successful touring dance company and sells her own line of dance wear over the Internet.

(The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber)

Knit Along with Debbie Macomber - The Shop on Blossom Street (Leisure Arts #4132)

A growing number of daring fiction writers churn out page-turning novels in more than one genres: Walter Mosley, Anne Rice, Nora Roberts, John Updike, Meg Cabot, Joyce Carol Oates, Dan Simmons, etc. Bestselling romance novelist, Debbie Macomber, has even opened a knitting store, Debbie Macomber's A Good Yarn Shop, inspired by her book series: "The Shop on Blossom Street."

Now let's move into the advertising/marketing circle. Quite a few copywriters writing for print and web have fearlessly jumped into creating e-books and are now reaping those financial gains.

(Microsoft)

Social Networking: The 21st Century Way to Find New Clients

The Gift

A prolific scriptwriter fades into interactive writing for video games and branches even further into writing and producing a web show.

(Microsoft)

And then there's the teaching circuit many wise self-starters have already added to their list of credentials. Most adults want to learn a new skill that can put more cash in their pockets. There you go!

(Microsoft)

You never know where an opportunity blessing will land your way. You want to be ready for that chance meeting. You don't know who you may be standing behind the next time you're in a Starbucks or Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf line. Always give a good first impression. Your face won't crack if you smile and say hello, even if you're having a crappy day.

(Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf)

You might find yourself behind a programmer for an upstart video game company. They're a staff of two and need a writer to work with them on a game's storyline.

The scenario can go something like this. You notice the twenty-something man behind you fidgeting, he seems to be in a hurry. What gave it away are the constant glances at his watch, his foot tapping, the blowing air on your neck. You offer up your place in line and strike up a conversation. In the time he gets his Non-fat Pumpkin Latte with medium foam, you've already snatched his business card and an appointment for next week.

(Microsoft)

Now let's say the woman sweating next to you on the cross-trainer is a licensed contractor who just started her own contracting business. After a few minutes of complaining about the ten pounds you both gained over the summer, you find out she's in desperate need of a website and search engine optimization (SEO). She doesn't want a cookie-cutter electronic kind, her competition uses. You're an SEO savvy web designer who innovates ... not imitates -- it's a match made in heaven.

Always be ready for your holy set-up ... your serendipitous moment.

(Microsoft)

Here's what you do:
1)Always have business cards readily available. If you're in a creative field like writing, music, art, food, etc. make it visually appealing -- an attention grabber.

2)If you have a cell phone with internet capabilities show the person a website or two you've designed.

3)If she or he talks about a problem at work that's in your field, offer a viable solution, or at least solid food for thought.

(poshgirlvintage)

4)Perhaps you're a handbag or jewelry designer, make sure you're wearing your wares. There's nothing better than wearing your own striking jewelry, a head-turning handbag or unusual shoes that can start a conversation.

5)Volunteer for a good cause. Giving to others will definitely send the blessings your way.

6)Small businesses, especially storefront ones, often ask for feedback and suggestions from regular customers. This could also lead to an opportunity.

Our daily lives can present a plethora of opportunities to market yourself and find a hidden gem that boosts your career.

Another case in point, Vera Wang, bridal and evening gown designer for the stars, and (starting February 2011 at David's Bridal) us Average Joans with normal budgets -- also has a designer mattress line from Serta. Remember this, where the innovation goes business follows.

Sure, we Average Joans and Average Joes know how to promote our writing businesses professionally, but do we underestimate the power of a chance meeting at a bookstore, a friend's birthday party, a farmer's market ... a local spa?

If DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND ...

2010-11-25T23:32:00.000-08:00

A Cute Pair of Shoes Are Her First Cousin
on Her Mother's Side.

But first, we interrupt Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter's cyber-journal for a special alert. CYBER-MONDAY IS BACK!
VERA BRADLEY HAS A TODAY-ONLY SPECIAL ON STYLISH HANDBAGS AND TOTE BAGS

Sale colors of the Large Duffel for only $45 and the Vera Handbag for only $35! Plus, Free Shipping on orders on $75 or more. Offer available November 29, 2010.

Get them while they're hot!

Now back to our secret love affair with shoes.
Are yours telling your story?

It's no secret, Average Joans, Divas, Fashionistas, Socialistas and the "Housewives of Beverly Hills" love their shoes. I can't count how many times I've heard women on the HGTV show, "House Hunters," say "... But where am I going to put all of my shoes?" ... when they're staring down a small closet.

(In Her Shoes)

Shoes tell your story, or share your dreams ... whether you like it or not. Look at the trailer poster above of the 2005 movie, "In Her Shoes," starring Toni Collette and Cameron Diaz as sisters Rose and Maggie.

They're basically the same pumps, but the red shouts ... "I'm a party girl! I want to turn heads. My confidence comes from my beauty." You have to strain to hear the black pumps murmur .. "I'm serious and responsible. I'm confident in what I've accomplished in my career. But, let me fade into the background, please. I don't want to be noticed."

Those simple pair of pumps reveal the sisters' personalities and their relationship dynamics.

Kate Spade Women's Liza Slingback Pump,Black\Cream,9.5 M US

Shoes Let You Be Who You Want to Be ...

Our girl Carrie Bradshaw of "Sex and the City" fame knows who she is and her shoes show it. She's a confident fashionista with brains beyond her favorite pair of Jimmy Choos. She makes no excuses for her shoe spending habits that reached the $40,000 mark. She treats them as extensions of herself. They are her diamonds and rubies. Her Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo and Christian Louboutin stilletos reflect an exciting single life lived.

Sex and the City 2 Final Movie Poster Double Sided Original 27x40

On the flip side, "In Her Shoes" Rose, a Princeton Grad Attorney, lives in a well-appointed apartment in Manhattan with a walk-in closet filled to the brim with her prized designer shoe collection.

Unfortunately, her flirty stilletos and sexy sandals never leave the closet. Rose and her shoes miss out on a life full of possibilities.

(Manolo Blahnik)

Shoes are Rose's number one joy in life. Why? Because ... "they always fit." Many women (like Rose) who struggle with weight and self-esteem issues feel empowered buying shoes, even if they never wear them outside the shoe department. If you're a size 8 or 8 1/2, the shoe most likely will fit.

Not the case, when your dress size inches past a twelve. And in a world where designers are size 6 and 8 happy, it takes many trips to the dressing room to find that perfect fit.

If the Shoe Fits ... Share it!

Rose and Maggie both wear a size 8 1/2 shoe and is the only thing they have in common. Their personalities and morals are night and day. It's no wonder Rose freaks when Party Girl Maggie tries on a pair of her shoes. How dare they fit and look better on her in that age-inappropriate red mini.

Maggie, a high school graduate, can't seem to keep a job. She thinks her only asset is her beauty. Her shoes see way more action than they should. She hops from job to job and from Mr. Wrong to Mr. Disaster. She finds herself homeless and eventually living in her grandmother's retirement condo.

(Manalo Blahnik)

Through their re-connection with their grandmother, Ella, (whom they thought was dead) Rose and Maggie learn how to make peace with themselves and each other. They finally begin living more balanced lives and enjoy the lives they're leading.

Shoes: 2011 Mini Wall Calendar

Carrie makes no excuses. She won't feel shoe-shamed. She has a right to spend her hard-earned money on her shoe addiction. Unlike those, like Miranda, who found their Mr Right -- she doesn't get an engagement party, a bridal shower or a wedding gift, so treating herself to an artistic pair of shoes is her own celebration gift. Her shoes say, she's not putting her life on hold.

Most girls shop for the bridal gown first, when that engagement ring slips on their finger. Not carry, she found the perfect Jimmy Choo first and a wedding suit second in the first Sex and the City movie.

Yes, our shoes are a fashion staple in our closet. But they're a lot more. They also represent a life lived, or a life on hold. What are your shoes saying about you? Do share?

You Know You're a Frugal Tightwad When...

2010-09-28T23:01:00.000-07:00

(

(Confessions of a Shopaholic)

(Chinese Buffet)

You know you're a frugal tightwad when you can't remember the last time you ate dinner that didn't end with "All You Can Eat Buffet" at the end of the eatery's name. What can beat a soup to sundae bar buffet for $9.95 with carving station. Certainly not a white linen table restaurant with a plate too pretty to eat that sends you hitting the Wendy drive-through window on your way home.

You know you're a frugal tightwad when you go to the supermarket with a friend and you break out in a sweat when she pays full-price for items without coupons and barely noticing the prices.

So, what's a tightwad frugal to do. When she's not looking, you switch them out for store brands at buy one get one ignoring her shaking head. She'll thank you later.

You know you're a frugal tightwad when you drive back to the supermarket when the register over-charged you a nickel for an item. Hey, at this supermarket, that mistake will get you the item for free. Can't be that with a half-priced baseball bat.

(Supermarket Aisle)

And yes, you have Frugal Tightwad-itis when you walk with your eyes reverted to the ground constantly scanning for change like a human metal detector. I'm not embarrassed, well ... not anymore. Because a found penny or nickle can make a difference between getting a 32oz. cup of Kona coffee and a 12 oz. cup at 7-Eleven.

Coupon Entertainment books are a wonderful addition to the 20th and 21st centuries. They're an even better when you buy them on sale, or if you snag a promotional coupon. I've got my eye on the 2011 Coupon Entertainment Book. This is great for when you travel to a spendthrift city like Vegas. I think most major cities have entertainment books.

Average Joans and Coupon Entertainment Books go hand-in-hand.

(Lifesize wedding cake)

I was never a spendthrift. No, that's not true. I had my moments living the single life in New York City. Ah... that was the life, and I've got nothing to show for it.

This reformed frugalista, tightwadista whatever you want to call me has more to show for it, I'm quite happy to say.

It all began when I said "yes" to a date and then "I do," four and a half years later. (No, that's not me in the bride cake above.) My tightwad groom would've passed out if I had ordered that. I'm sure it was bigger than my editorial assistant wedding budget could handle. Eighteen years later and we are frugally happy.

Being married to a frugal tightwad, the son and grandson of tightwads, it's bound to rub off on you. In our early days, I used to hang my head in shame at my husband stingy, not-so-cute ways.

Now, with the recession kicking our booties. Mine is sometimes clad in my latest Salvation Army, never worn before Ralph Lauren Jeans. These days, I can't stop smiling at the check out line, when the cash register rings up $40 and I spend $3. That's after I stood behind someone who just spent $120 for food without coupons. Double Yikes!

What's the advantages of being a frugal tightwad? I get to vacation on a tropical island once or twice a year for three weeks. Of course, we take our coupons and are well-stocked with the island's supermarket cards. What? We haven't lost our minds.

Living for less doesn't mean you have to settle for less. No, No Nanette. I have two Coach bags one bought at a consignment shop for $20 another at the Salvation Army for $8. And yes, they're the real deal.

(Coach Handbag - Fashfire.com)

I wear mostly designer clothes because my husband, the shopperismo of the family, loves only designer wear and always finds a great deal for under $20 and even under $10. We love when the mark-offs are marked off with an addition 10 percent off.

(Style Bakery)

Eyes Wide Open
I knew I wouldn't be creating the Holly Golightly Breakfast at Tiffany's lifestyle with my George Pepard, but I didn't think discount cards would make my wallet hard to close.

Sure, it wasn't all sunshine and roses when we first got together and I noticed we barely ate at a restaurant without a coupon. But when I started seeing the fruits of his thrifty labors, I jumped on the bandwagon without hesitation.

(Fine Dining)

Yes, on occasion we visit Le Bec Frou Frou, but you better believe theres a 40th anniversary price deal or a free desert special or gift card to get us in there. We are coming out of there with a smile and a saving, and probably not with a full belly.

(Shopping Bags)

These days, it's cool to live large for less. Try it... I guarantee, if you do it right ... you'll reap the rewards.

We Fall Down...

2010-09-08T00:24:00.000-07:00

That is ... Fall into this season's writing contests. Even if you're not a writer, I'm sure September 1, opens a door of new possibilities for you. It almost feels like January 1, when we get to start again. We fall down, but get back up again.

And there's the other side of it.

Summer is emotionally and officially over after Labor Day weekend. I'm both sad and excited. The sadness comes from not being able to watch the sunset on a Hawaii beach before dinner, unless I create a mural of it on my living room wall.

My excitement centers on my book submission and entering the Scriptapalooza Television Writing Contest. Of course, I'll probably be kissing that deadline date. Here are my contenders for entry:

(The Middle)

(House of Payne)

(Army Wives)

1. The Middle
2. Tyler Perry's House of Payne
3 Army Wives

I'm leaning toward The Middle because the Mom, Frankie Heck, doesn't get anymore Average Joan than her. I love the plot premise:

The daily mishaps of a harried woman and her semi-dysfunctional family and their attempts to survive life in general in the city of Orson, Indiana. What Average Jane do you know isn't harried? As long as there are families, computers, shopping malls and double coupons -- our lives will be harried. Thank goodness for chocolate. I'm just saying.

(Super Mom)

Patricia Heaton's Frankie Heck is the "every woman," at least in the land of Average Joans. And her husband Mike is the husband many of us have but won't admit it unless we're strapped to a lie detector. I won't tell if you won't. But at the end, these "every men" always come through in a pinch.

(Everybody Loves Raymond)

Frankie makes Debra Barone look like arm-candy taking her to the next hilarious level. She basically accepts her family for who they are ... the good, but mostly the ugly. She fights it, but she often have bouts of "Keeping up with the Joneses ..." okay, staying in their shadow. Why can't her daughter, Sue, take a great class photo? Just once could she not reach the re-take limit of three. And why can't she get into a school club? Even being Safety Girl's reaching high.

Frankie wonders that maybe she's taking this acceptance thing too far. Maybe she should push her children more. Shall I dare say it. Why must they always be average? (I'm speaking from her perspective, of course. She's just having a moment. It doesn't take her long to realize that in all of us Average Joans, something extraordinary always lurks beneath the surface. It emerges when we least expect it.

(Brick)

Brick, her baby son, is brilliant but weird in a social misfit at 8 kind of way. (Average doesn't mean you have less intelligence.) Sixteen-year-old Axl gives new meaning to the word slacker. He spends more time in his boxers than in his books. I love Sue the middle child. No matter how many clubs she don't get into; no matter how many photos of her come out awful, and how many things she just can't do -- she shrugs it off and tries something new. That alone is extraordinary.

In our super-sized world of super babies who read by two, this simply does not compute to the over-achiever. That's why The Middle is my choice of entry.

(Frankie)
Sure, Frankie has Sue tendencies at her job selling cars. It's not her forte, but she's going to sell a car by hook or crook. Even if her youngest can't attend school because he's sick, and she has to stow him in the back seat of a car on the lot in his pajamas with his pillow and blankie. Don't judge.

My fave episode ... "Average Rules." No surprise there. Here's the recap. Go to ABC.com and check it out. It's hilarious!

After attending year-end school parent-teacher conferences, Frankie and Mike are shocked to discover that Brick may be held back from going to the third grade because the school librarian, Mrs. Nethercott, has it out for him due to 31 unreturned books. Meanwhile, as Axl's aptitude test results reveal him to be academically gifted, Frankie makes it her mission to get an overlooked Sue the recognition she deserves when none of her teachers even remember that she's in their classes.

(Sue Heck)
Even though it's the last week of school, the coach allows Sue (due to Mom's incessant begging)to be included in the closing year's track team if she's able to run a certain amount of laps around the track. Sue trains so hard she injures her leg and ends up with crutches. Did you just say another chance bites the dust? Oh, not so. This is when the extraordinary part shows whose in charge.

She hops with her crutches determined to make the team. Torrential rain doesn't stop her, a hit in the head by a flying object doesn't stop her, her crutch breaks ... she keeps on crawling until she crosses the finish line to a standing ovation. That's my girl!

Oh yeah, Scriptapalooza TV- International Television Writing Contest ... Joan B. Average is heading your way.

Here are my top picks for upcoming scriptwriting contests from moviebytes.com:

Scriptapalooza TV Writing Competition
Final Deadline: 10/01/2010

Entry Fee: $40

Our intention is to help open doors for the aspiring television writer. There are four categories you can submit to, which include 1 hour existing spec scripts, 1/2 hour existing sitcom spec scripts, original pilots, and reality programs. This competition is designed with the TV writer and crossover screenwriter in mind. The participants we have chosen to read the winning scripts are individuals from established production companies.

Overall rating:

The Greenlight.com Annual Script Contest

Entry Fee: $50

Final Deadline: 09/30/2010

Our Objective is to provide new writers with feedback, exposure and cool prizes they can show their friends. Our mission at the-GreenLight.com is to provide new writers with helpful insight and tools to make their writing better. Overall rating:

Acclaim Film
Final Deadline: 10/23/2010
Entry Fee: $55
To introduce writers to the decision makers in film and multimedia markets. Top script receives $1,000 and ALL competition winners, runners-up, and finalists will earn the chance to have their scripts read by established production companies and agents in LA and NY. We strive to provide commentary on each script.
Overall rating:

Acclaim TV Screenwriting Competition
Final Deadline: 10/23/2010
Entry Fee: $50
To introduce writers to the decision makers of traditional broadcast television, the cable market, and multi-media outlets. Competition winners will have their material read by experienced producers and agents in L.A. and N.Y.
Overall rating:

LA Comedy Scripts Screenplay Competition
Final Deadline: 12/20/2010

Entry Fee:

$35 features/$30 shorts/$30 Half-hour Comedy pilots (by October 2nd, 2010); $45 features/$40 shorts/$40 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by November 3rd, 2010); $55 features/$50 shorts/$50 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by December 3rd, 2010); $75 features/$70 shorts/$70 Half-hour Comedy Pilots (by December 20th, 2010

The L.A. Comedy Shorts Film Festival and Screenplay Competition is dedicated to promoting the comedy genre and helping comedy filmmakers and writers take the next step in their careers. L.A. Comedy Shorts was ranked one of the ''Top 25 Festivals Worth the Entry Fee'' by MovieMaker Magazine, and listed as one of the ''Top Ten Festivals in the U.
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Is Your Life a Reality Show?

2010-08-30T15:44:00.000-07:00

(WE's Bridezillas)

(Kate Plus Eight - TLC.com)
(Big Brother 12)

(Project Runway)

Can't you see it now? There I am ... Joan B. Average, Scriptwriter, an animated version of me on your screen after you clicked on TLC or E!

There I am... an animated me being chased by my laptop. It smacks me on the head and instead of seeing stars, benjamines whirl around my head. It turns into one bill that I'm chasing and following it to my laptop and superimposes into a live me hard at work at my desk.

Then what? Does the camera follow me knitting in that long post office line because my local federal employees are a tad slow. Or maybe you can get an attractive glimpse of me plunging the crap out of my kitchen drain so I can finish washing my dishes ... sorry, no dishwasher here. Very attractive.

Why not join me on my mini trampoline while I'm watching Food Network and wishing I was eating Bobby Flay's latest throw-down cuisine ... chocolate bread pudding ... yummo!

Search Amazon.com for bobby flay cookware

It doesn't take long for you to realize that reality shows are like watching yourself living your life ... BORING.

Here's the million dollar question. If reality shows are so boring why can't we stop watching them? We can put it to the potato chip philosophy. You know it's salty and fattening but can't stop at one.

Another course of thought, let's escape our lives and solve somebody else's problems. We can fix what's wrong in another person's life all within a commercial break.

Not so fast, let's first distinguish between the boring and the glued to the screen reality show. Often the ones that follow the daily lives of people can put you in yawn mode real quick. But those where contestants are competing for their dreams keep you tuning into the time slot.

(Lisa Raye)

Let's see, we have the Lisa Raye reality show, the Terrell Owens reality show, the Fantasia reality show and the list goes on and on like popcorn.

Then you have the dream job reality show I mentioned, the life with sextuplets and twins reality, the 19 kids and counting sprinkled between the little people shows I love. The latter are the most inspiring. TLC launched December 15, 2009 the "Little Chocolatiers" featuring Steve Hatch and Katie Masterson, the husband and wife team behind Salt Lake City's Hatch Family Chocolates.

(TLC's Little Chocolatiers)

What if reality shows were produced in the fifties? Can you picture Lucy and Ricky Ricardo in their Hollywood mansion arguing about leaving the seat up, or leaving the gas tank on "E" ... yada, yada.

Life can be messy, fun, difficult, wonderful, sad and miraculous all in a five-minute time span. And we get to see it everyday in high definition.

From Bridezillas to Hoarders: Buried Alive ... reality shows are also a cry for help. If we look at them closely, we may see pieces of ourselves that make us cringe. We don't have to live a depressed, joyless life. You are what you think. You think negative thoughts your life becomes consumed with negativity.

It's amazing how quick the designers on Heidi Klum's Project Runway are to criticize each other. Very rarely is there something positive said.

Then there are those reality television shows that are inspiring and end each episode on a positive note with a valid lesson learn. Run's House comes to mind. Run's house follows the hectic life of Reverend Run aka Joseph Simmons aka Rapper Run DMC, hip-hop music pioneer and his wife and seven talented children.

(Run's House)

Run's House stands apart from the other MTV reality show programming. This show portrays one affluent African-American family's values and morals. Unlike many MTV shows, there is no sex, profanity, foul language, or violence to worry about.

(Dog: The Bounty Hunter)

A&E won't be left out of the reality show drama. They're pulling in the ratings with "Dog: The Bounty Hunter." Surprisingly this show has a moral and spiritual spin to it. They often have prayer with bail jumper right after they slap on the handcuffs, and always end with words of encouragement to help them change their lives. Unlike Run's there's also a lot of bleeping out profanity.

Reality shows can be a wake-up call in our own lives and a seed for change.

Summer Reality Shows are Back!

2010-06-15T01:58:00.000-07:00

Girl Enjoying a Georgia Peach

Cherries

Peaches, Watermelon, Bing Cherries ...
and the upcoming "Big Brother"

... the new signs of Summer heat up Network and Cable Television.

(Big Brother 11)

It wouldn't be summer without "Big Brother." Despite my love/no love relationship with this reality show, I always catch myself scheduling my nights around an airing of "Big Brother" from early July to mid-September.

Once again, we'll see the standard Jeff and Jordan romances, cat fights between Lydia and Natalie clones over a Jessie stud wannabe, scheming alliances like Kevin and Natalie's and explosive rebellions that forced "Big Brother 11" producers to send Chima packing without a nomination ceremony.

(Television Viewer)

No matter how much I try not to watch, I'm surrounded by close friends and family members who will phone me during the time slot and ask: Are you watching "Big Brother?" And of course my answer is always: Oh, yeah ... did you see what so and so just did?

Sunset Palms

It gets worse. On a long weekend vacation, I rush back from a sunset walk on the beach just to watch the 12 insane house guests who by now have turned into preschoolers. (no offense to preschoolers)

It would be nice to see some seasoned and ethnically diverse "Big Brother 12" housemates or any not obsessed with their looks and born before the Internet.

(True Beauty)

Speaking of beauty obsession, a newcomer on the reality show summer scene and in its second season is the ABC show, "True Beauty" -- where shallow, beauty-obsessed young men and women are lured into thinking they're competing to become (this season) Mr. or Ms. Las Vegas and all the fame and fortune that come with it.

(Candid Camera)

What they don't know is that they're really being judged on their inner beauty -- physical beauty plays second fiddle. On the first challenge, they create a hot look for themselves on a limited budget. Hidden cameras follow them 24-7 through challenges and through their personal time.

It almost reminds me of the old "Candid Camera" Show. Hmm ... what would Allen Funt think about, "True Beauty?" I'm thinking he would've dug it.

An actress who pretends to be the store's sales person helps each contestant create an eye-catching look. She tempts them into stealing an outfit that's over their budget, as the three "True Beauty" judges and America candidly watch. Some pass the test and, sad to say, some don't.

I missed the show last night, but I wouldn't raise an eyebrow if the young woman who flunked the first test and the second test last week was shown the door.

(The Next Food Network Star)

Then we head over to the food and interior design side of reality television where our bullies are not fellow contestants, but appear to be the judges of "The Next Food Network Star" and "HGTV Design Star."

Their job is to bring out the best in each finalist where ultimately one will win a cooking show on the Food Network. If they can't stand a little constructive bullying, then they need to get out of the kitchen. Whether they're cooking in it or hanging cabinets.

(HGTV Design Star 2010)

Yes, summer and reality television heat will both sizzle in the upcoming weeks. Stay in either one too long, you may get fried. So what's a summer viewer to do? You slather on extra sun block, crank up the A.C. and go back for more. Ah ... don't you just love summertime drama?

Want some swimsuit ideas that fit your personality? Check out iCafe Woman Moderne, a virtual cafe for women inside an Art Moderne home.

And They Lived Happily Ever After?

2010-05-20T02:53:00.000-07:00

There's nothing worse than an unsatisfying ending to a movie. Okay, there are a lot of things worse, but an ending that doesn't give you a good payoff for the turns, spins, peaks and valleys of a movie -- just leaves you unsatisfied.

It's like when someone serves you a slice of strawberry shortcake. It looks so pretty with its whipped cream icing and plump strawberries. You can't wait to take a bite. But when you bite it, all you taste is a stale mess. Now you've got strawberry juice dripping from your mouth and a stain spreading on your brand new, white silk blouse.

I know what you're thinking. We can't expect every movie to always have a happy ending, but it would be nice to have a hopeful one or at least one that makes sense. Last weekend, I saw Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married Too?"

I loved the first one. Satisfying ending ... definitely, I was already writing the sequel by the time the credits rolled on the screen. I couldn't wait to see the sequel. It was supposedly set three years later, but it felt more like three months later.

(Why Did I Get Married Too?)

I didn't see any growth in the characters (except for one couple) and maybe that was the whole point of the movie. Of course, this is purely a subjective view. I don't want to give away the movie for those who haven't seen it yet. Unfortunately, the ending left me deflated and not wishing for another sequel.

On the other hand, Tyler Perry's "Madea's Family Reunion" took you on a domestic roller coaster ride that gave you a satisfying ending and floated you away on a "Happily Ever After" cloud.

There can't always be a happy ending, but the ending should be a climax for the events of the movie. Some may watch it and say it was. But for me, the ending seemed too easy. It didn't make sense. I guess there was a glimmer of hope.

I'll use this analogy to describe what would've made the ending more satisfying for me. When you get a boo-boo, you put on a band-aid. Once it starts to heal, you rip off the Band-Aid so it can breathe and finish healing. Everyone sees the yucky sore for a little while, it's not pretty, but then it heals and disappears. Only you know your boo-boo was there.

There are two consequences. Either you'll no longer wear those stilletoes that made you fall in the first place and created the boo-boo. Or you'll learn how to walk in them. This approach would've made the ending in Why Did I Get Married Too? more satisfying to me.

(Because I Said So Cake)

Often symbolism help give you that satisfying ending. The above black & white polka dot wedding cake with red rose buds played a symbolic role in the the movie, Because I Said So starring Diane Keaton and Mandy Moore.

Growing up, how many times have you heard your Mom say, "Because I Said So?"   That many. If only I had a dollar for every time, you would be calling me Joan B. Trump. That infamous response by parents to squash a child's question easily becomes a battle cry when the questions don't stop in a timely manner."

Just the title alone tells you this is a family dramedy. You'll discover from the first scene that it's a grown baby daughter vs. controlling mama drama. Daphne (Diane Keaton), the mom, doesn't think her youngest daughter, Milly (Mandy Moore) can find Mr. Right on her own, so she secretly places a personal ad.

(Because I Said So Fashion)

Mom wears her favorite black and white polka dress when she interviews potential son-in-laws. Out of her three daughters, she believes Milly's the most like her and tells her this every chance she gets. Of course, Milly thinks they're night and day. Did I mention, they're both in the food business? Daphne is a baker, Milly is a caterer.

Daphne buys Millie a red and white polka dress and insists she wears it to an event she's catering the next day. Daphne doesn't know that Mom arranged for her chosen Mr. Right, a wealthy architect, to show up there. He gets Milly's attention when he compliments her on the polka dot dress.

Mom stops by her apartment before the date with Mr. Right and is shocked to see her wearing the polka dot dress again and Mr. Wrong at the door. He's the guitarist Mom vetoed at the pre-screening interview.

Throughout the movie, all of their boo-boos get bandaged and aired out for healing. And then we get a satisfying ending where the boo-boo is barely visible. You see, while Daphne's looking for Mr. Right for her daughter, she finds a Mr. Right for both of them. Daphne, in turn, finally accepts with new eyes that she is her mother's daughter and she's okay with it. Ah! Satisfying. Don't you love it!

(Edge of Darkness)

A satisfying ending can also mean a sad ending. In Mel Gibson's 2010 thriller, Edge of Darkness about a cop, Thomas Craven, who investigates his daughter's murder, a contracted hit by her employer. Emma Craven is first poisoned with Thalium after drinking organic milk and shot to death when Dad tries to rush her to the hospital.

His dead daughter who guides him through dreams and his imagination. He also drinks poisoned milk to flush out Emma's killer. Hand-in-hand, Father and daughter are victorious at the end. At the end of Edge Darkness, we leave with faith that good will always take the upper hand. When I watch thrillers, I need to see this kind of ending.

Yes, we live in the real world, but can't we enjoy a hopeful-ever-after escape now and then?

(How Stella Got Her Groove Back)

Sleep Well, Miss Lena Horne ...

2010-05-15T01:58:00.000-07:00

"It's So Hard to
Say Goodbye to Yesterday..."

I can't get that song from the "Cooley High" 1975 movie out of my head when I think about Lena Horne's home-going on Monday, May 10. It's sad to face the painful fact that this era has gone, but certainly not forgotten.

(portrait depicting Harlem Renaissance - 1904-1935)

I'll never forget this Harlem Renaissance Baby, Hollywood Glamour Girl, Night Club Gem and Broadway Darling who strutted the entire entertainment package.

(Lena Horne - Starlet)

Wrap it up with a social conscious bow, and you've got a wonderful gift for the world to enjoy for years to come. Lena Horne had beauty, brains and a social conscious. She knew who she was and where she came from, but more importantly wanted all people regardless of the color of their skin to have access to the same opportunities in life.

(Lena with Frank Sinatra)

One would think that the title: civil rights activist would not be in the same bio of a Hollywood icon, but she was both. Her distinctive singing style captivated many, even those who didn't enjoy contemporary standards. Stormy Weather was the only popular song my mother hummed, when she wasn't humming her favorite spiritual.

Growing up, I remembered how the older African American women, the elders in my life -- always referred to her as Miss Lena Horne. They saw her as an elegant, talented lady who could have passed for a white actress in the 1930s and 1940s to win coveted roles. But she did not and would not.

Max Factor even developed an Egyptian makeup shade exclusively for her, but she refused to go along with the studio's efforts to portray her as an exotic Latina.

She once said, I don't have to be an imitation of a white woman that Hollywood sort of hoped I'd become, I'm me and I'm like nobody else.

(All Star Pics)
(From Yahoo News)

When Horne was only two her grandmother, a prominent member of the Urban League and the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) enrolled her in the NAACP. Activism didn't become a part of her life until 1945 when she was performing at an army base and saw German soldiers sitting up front while black soldiers were confined to the rear.

Eighteen years later, she joined the Hollywood stars who Marched on Washington in 1963 for Jobs and Freedom when Martin Luther King gave his "I have a Dream" speech.

Lena Horne was a star from the time she emerged out of her mother's womb. Born in 1917 in Brooklyn, her mother left her in the care of her grandmother to find work in show business.

By age 16, Horne danced in the Cotton Club's chorus line where the entertainers were black and the clientele white. She became a nightclub performer before moving to Hollywood.

She left the Cotton club in 1935 to tour with Noble Sissle's orchestra billed as Helena Horne, the name she continued using when she joined the Charlie Barnet's white orchestra in 1940. A movie offer from MGM came when she headlined at the Little Troc nightclub with the Katherine Dunham dancers.

(Cabin in the Sky)

She had roles in numerous movies and more substantial parts in the all black productions: Cabin in the Sky and Stormy Weather in 1943. Because of the communist scare and her progressive political views, she was blacklisted and unable to find work in Hollywood.

(Stormy Weather - Black Classic Movies.com)

Some of the legendary performances shown in the movie, Stormy Weather include: (From Black Classic Movies.com)

•  Bill “Bojangles” Robinson showing his fancy footwork in multiple tap dance routines. He was 65 years old when the movie was made and had been in show business for over 50 years.
•  Fats Waller performing Ain’t Misbehavin’, which was the song that made him famous. He also performs a standout duet with Ada Brown singing the bluesy song “That Ain’t Right.”
•  Lena Horne singing the title tune “Stormy Weather,” which would become one of her signature songs. She also dances with Bill Robinson and sings other memorable songs like “Diga Diga Doo.”
•  Katherine Dunham and her dance troupe performing memorable, Caribbean-inspired dance numbers.
•  Cab Calloway in his trademark zoot suit leading his orchestra in the hip musical compositions “Jumpin’ Jive” and “Geechy Joe.”

• The Nicholas Brothers performing a breathtaking dance number is one of the best dance routines ever captured on film.

(Lena Horne)

Returning to her roots as a nightclub performer, Horne performed in nightclubs, television and released well-received albums.

She announced her retirement in March 1980, but starred in a one woman show in 1981 -- Lena Horne: The Lady and Her Music that with more than three-hundred performances earning her a special Tony Award and won two Grammy Awards for the accompanying album and a third in 1995 for An Evening With Lena Horne.

Her distinctive jazz and blues style earned her critical acclaim for the songs: Stormy Weather, The Lady is a Tramp and Cole Porter's Just One of Those Things, just to name a few.

(The Wiz)

Her last movie role was in 1978 as Glinda the Good in the movie, Wiz. She also won two stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame – one for motion pictures and one for her work in the recording industry.

Sleep Well, Lena ... We'll miss you.

A Little Help Here .... My Favorite Go To Things

2010-04-19T23:03:00.000-07:00

(Kaiser - Flickr)

...WHEN I GET ON THAT WRITING CLIFF
AND CAN'T GET OFF!

Whew! Sorry for the delay. I've been putting in long hours incorporating final edits on my novel and working on television spec scripts, not to mention the day-to-day grind.

I'm happy to say, I don't have writer's block, but time spent on a writing plateau can also send you babbling and screaming for help. You've got to have a plan. I've got five of them.

When I get stuck on that Writing and Editing Cliff and Can't Get Off ... I pray, read, watch, sip and move.

1. I Pray and Read the Holy Bible

A mainstay in all areas of my life, it frees me when I'm stuck on a plateau or creatively blocked. I reach this plateau when my creative juices have spun a great story, but doesn't move in a balance of peaks and valleys needed to produce a riveting final product.

Here are some of my favorite "shake the plateau" scriptures:

"Now glory be to God who by His mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or even dream of--infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts or hopes." Ephesians 3:20.

"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human man can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7

2. I Read "Self Editing for Fiction Writing" By Rennie Brown and Dave King, Harper Perennial. When a story slows down, repetition and proportion are usually a few of the culprits. This book reminds me that repetition is not a fiction and scriptwriter's friend.

Of course, there's an exception to this rule called advertising copywriting. Repetition in direct mail letters and ads help induce consumers to buy.

But since we're talking about fiction writing, I reach for my go-to book "Self Editing for Fiction Writers," when these culprits push me up that cliff.

Here's what it says:

"Often writers are too close to what they accomplished in their writing to see that they have accomplished it twice or more. ... Don't underestimate your reader's intelligence or your ability as a writer."

"It's the influence of movies and television--readers are used to quick jump-cuts from scene to scene rather than long transitional shots. Fiction writers are much more free to use ellipses, to leave more of the mundane, bridging action up to their readers' imaginations."

That sounds good to me.

I also step out of my fiction for a while and lose myself in a favorite movie or the latest book from a favorite author. I love romantic comedies, family sagas and thrillers.

(Confessions of a Shopaholic - Style Bakery)

3. I Watch a Movie
I'll watch fave movies like: "Confessions of a Shopaholic" "Because I Said So," "Why Did I Get Married?" "Flash Forward," and the list goes on.

There's nothing better than to see how a story flows and feel the effect it has on you on the silver screen. Then it's back to the laptop I go.

No ... not just yet. I need to do some real life drama watching I call a visit to Starbucks or any urban chic cafe chain will do.

4. I Sip a large Strawberries &
Creme Frappuccino at Starbucks.

I take my Starbucks gift card that a wonderful angel recently gave me and start my people watching. Just watching and listening to patrons jump start ideas on making characters more three-dimensional and dialogue richer.

(Strawberries & Creme Frappuccino - Starbucks)

At this point, I'm feeling pretty good. I've got the rope and I'm climbing down, enjoying the scenery along the way. I step on a small landing carved into the mountain where I meet ... uh-oh ... Procrastination Patty. She encourages me to sit with her and enjoy the view from up high. But I can't stay there, al though it's comfy.

I need to see passionate artists working under extreme pressure and time constraints to make their dream happen. I need to watch a Food Network Challenge show.

(Food Network Challenge - Last Cake Standing - Elisa Strauss)

(Mr. Krabs - Winner of Food Challenge's Sponge Bob Birthday Cakes- Fancy Cakes By Lauren.)

5. I Watch a Food Network Challenge Show.
Yes, you read it right. My favorites are the cake challenges. I love to see how talented cake designers and pastry chefs get off their sugar mountains when they run into trouble.

What's amazing, they're not creating these sweet masterpieces in the privacy of their homes, they're watched by a panel of scary judges, a compassionate studio audience (you know they're chatting away) and millions of viewers. That's enough to make you bawl for your mommy.

At times, a cake piece falls off just when a team plunks it on the judge's table. They've got fifteen minutes to fix it. No, they don't go backstage. They have to do it in front of the cameras and staring eyes. I guess for $10,000, I'd do it on skates wearing a super hero costume with my mother-in-law as the judge.

Our food challenge contestants show fearless creativity, courage, strength and the ability to think fast on their feet. These are the qualities that also sustain a writer with a little help from a go-to friend or two.

And last but not least,

(Dancing with the Stars)

5. I Dance it Out on the Rebounder.
Dancing With the Stars has nothing on me when I get going on my mini trampoline. When I'm done, I'm ready for my laptop.

And this time, I make it to the ground, waving goodbye to Procrastination Patty and Plateau Paulette.

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