So here, in all its naked statistical glory, is the result of my 2009 gym challenge. If you remember, the target for the year was 151 visits, AKA 3 sessions a week for 50 weeks, with two weeks off for good behaviour, but an extra one added in so I can kid myself that I did better than last year's 150 total.
So if you're handy with the calculator, or have many, many fingers, you'll see that this takes us to a grand total of...
*drum roll*
151 gym sessions in 2009. And the year's not over yet. I could even do an extra one just for the heck of it. On second thoughts, maybe not.
So the big question now is, who else is man or woman enough to take on a gym challenge of their own in 2010? Please somebody take it off my hands, I keep hearing about other people who were smart enough to go for a Read 100 Books challenge or See 100 Films and I fancy trying one of those instead. Come on, if somebody else does it then that means I don't have to (doesn't it?).
I really only have myself to blame. When I glibly said that nothing but a broken leg would come between me and the completion of my gym challenge, that was clearly asking for trouble.
I live on a very steep hill in Brighton. So steep, in fact, that a midwife once told me that walking up our street would provide quite a comprehensive pelvic floor workout. I don't quite know what she meant, but you get my drift. And indeed it started with a drift, as last Friday we were treated to a badass hunk of snow piled up on our doorstep.
Now, snow I like. You can jump in it and throw it about and (if you have that kind of mind) use it to make piss flowers.
But the snow soon turned to ice, and our street became one big hill of glass. I ventured out a few times, scaling the street by clinging on to the front of houses and drainpipes. But trips any further were too hazardous. So not so much a broken leg, but the threat of one, scuppered my plans. Though I did make it out to the gym last night, and was treated to the marvellous sight of a man running on the treadmill whilst simultaneously doing Jazz Hands. There's an outside chance I'll hit my target, but it seems unlikely now, so no more predictions from me.
Last week I went to see Peter Pan at Brighton's Theatre Royal, as part of The Great Panto Review, a nationwide online overview of the UK's top Christmas shows. Here's my review. The reviews are also part of a campaign to raise money for children with cancer. More info and how to donate here - Come on, don't be a scrooge, it's for sick nippers, so be kind in 2009 and bung 'em a few quid.
(Gotta love that cheery headline)
So the latest on the gym challenge is: I managed 20 visits in November (I know!), bringing the total to 133 for the year. Also went today, so that leaves a mere 17 more visits if I'm to hit my target for the year of 151. Ha! Piece of piss. Unless I break a leg of course, in which case all bets are off.
So a few things have occurred to me about the business of getting fit. The first is that, unfortunately, some of us just don't see any physical difference unless we go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week. I suspect this might be the case for a lot of people, but really, who would ever sign up to one if you thought you were going to have to go that often? Three times a week sounds almost manageable, so that's what's promoted. It's a bit like the theory that we all should really be eating 10 portions of fruit and veg a day, but that's just beyond the beyond for most people, so 5 a day is the compromise that's promoted.
The other thing I've realised is that becoming fit and slim really are impossible goals. Think about it - what does "getting fit" mean to you? There will always be someone fitter than you, even if you're a professional athlete. There will always be someone thinner than you (unless you're a skeleton, and then you won't care).
And the trouble with impossible goals is that they are always destined to fail. If you can't define what something definitely is or isn't, how will you know when you've achieved it? If you never feel like you've succeeded at something, then all that's left is disappointment.
You've probably heard of business goals needing to be SMART, i.e.:
But you can apply this to any goal you like. Setting vague goals is something I look out for with my coaching clients, because it can also be a procrastination method. I ask them: How will you know when you've achieved that? What will be different in your life?
I used to think that my main aim in going to the gym was to become healthier. My basic bodyshape is Shetland pony in glasses, so there's no point in wishing I was a teeny waif. But how do you know what healthier means? Healthier than whom? I was literally on a treadmill, chasing the impossible.
So this is why I like having a definite number of gym visits per year to aim for - it's very clear cut, the epitome of the SMART goal. Either I go or I don't. Becoming fitter, healthier and less chunky is really just a by-product. Of course, it helps if you're a stubborn bugger too, but that's not something I have to try too hard to achieve.