(I should actually point out now that neither of those things have happened to me. We’re dealing in hypothetical situations here.)

But anyway, the potential for awkwardness in interactions is almost limitless. You never know when you’re going to be wandering around, only to be suckerpunched with a big ball of awkward.

If you’ve had one of those awkward moments today, come here and take solace in the fact that small cute animals face the same difficulties as us humans.

There are endless amounts of people out there online, and 99.9% of them are braindead. I mean they’d be classed as clinically retarded if they took a test.

Which means that the internet sucks a lot of the time. But then you get the 0.1% of people who are funny, witty and think about things in ways that others don’t. Occasionally, amidst all the shit, you get a nugget of gold. And it’s perfect.

Without further ado, here are the twelve funniest ideas the internet has ever had.

Movie actors are highly paid, highly valuable human beings. You don’t want to break them. Jessica Alba with a boo-boo is a no-no. Which is why there are a tranche of highly professional stunt doubles who look (a bit) like their celebrity counterparts who are willing to jump off roofs.

Sometimes it’s alarming how like their celebrity double they are. Other times it’s a bit embarrassing (see Lopez, Jennifer for proof positive).

Uma Therman

Robert Pattinson

Jennifer Lopez

Brad Pitt

Carrie Fisher

Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz

January Jones

Angelina Jolie

Kate Beckinsale

Lucy Lawless

Natalie Portman

Charlize Theron

Tom Hardy

That can be history, or a screenwriters’ mind. But then there are the sources that come out of left field. Like the following…

Transformers (2007)

Sure! Why not create a movie from a toy line? I mean, little kids like toys, and the majority of blockbusters get little figurines made of their main characters, so why not reverse the trend and make the toys before the movie comes out? Transformers ended up hella popular, so it seems to have worked (or it could’ve been people wanting to see Megan Fox…).

Battleship (2012)

I imagine that when Rihanna was growing up in Barbados, she imagined that one day she would conquer the world of film as well as music. I don’t imagine that she thought she’d be doing so in a movie based on the world’s most boring board game. But some highflying Hollywood exec thought that basing a film on Battleships was a good idea, and so that’s her star vehicle.

Lambada & The Forbidden Dance (1990)

You know movies like Step Up? I don’t see the fucking point of them. They’re just an excuse to show pretty people dancing. But what’s worse is when your sole plotline isn’t just dancing, but a single, specific dance style. Appartently, lambada was taking the world by storm in the late 1980s because not one but two movies were made, tenuously tying their existence to this shitty dance.

Born in East LA (1987)

Wha'chu mean my movie ain't no good, Holmes?

You know you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel when you base an entire movie on a parody song. But that’s what Cheech Marin did with his parody of Springsteen’s “Born in the USA”. I think he smoked a little too much bud, personally.

Clue (1985)

Clue is one of the world’s most popular board games. And actually, this sort of makes sense – murder mysteries have been consistently popular in books, theater and TV, so why not make a movie of the biggest murder mystery of them all?

There are plenty of options if you want to embarrass your cat. You can place a slice of toast about his head like some sort of neck brace. You can dress him up in stupid outfits. Or you can fashion a crash helmet out of a hollowed-out bit of fruit and take a photo.

It’s the last of these we’re celebrating today.

You might think that once you’ve got a series commissioned you’d be fine and it’d be plain sailing. Think again. There’s nothing to stop a network from hauling your show off the air with a comedy hook, never to be seen again.

All of which means that there are some TV shows that were quite extraordinary that you never saw.

Adams of Eagle Lake (2 episodes, 1975)

Andy Griffith was kind of a big deal – but you wouldn’t think it given how quickly this show was bumped off-air. It turns out that Andy Griffith playing a small town sherriff wasn’t as popular as one would think (who knew?!).

The Sanford Arms (4 episodes, 1977)

Four episodes is starting to be a minor success…well, not really. But really, this show deserved to be yanked.

You might think, from looking at the title, that this was a spin-off from Sanford & Son. You’d be correct (sorta). Technically, it was a spin-off of the popular show. But it involved neither Sanford nor Son. In fact, the main layover from the previous show was the house.

Yes, the house. People turned the show on, thinking they were getting Sanford and Son. They said “what the fuck is this?” and switched off in their droves.

What’s Alan Watching? (1 episode, 1989)

Not this!

(Sorry, it was a brilliant set up for a joke, and I couldn’t refuse.) It’s actually a shame, because this was a hell of a show. It was part sitcom, part sketch show, and involved Eddie Murphy in his first stuff since SNL. Thomas Schlamme (of West Wing fame) directed it, and every critic loved it.

Viva Laughlin! (2 episodes, 2007)

Hugh Jackman doesn’t star in failures.

With one exception: Viva Laughlin!, which was a singing TV show which was based on a (much more successful) British series called Blackpool! Turns out that only Glee is good enough to combine drama and singing.

Osbournes Reloaded (1 episode, 2009)

Why wouldn’t you want to watch The Osbournes in a variety show? Fox didn’t see any problems, but when their affiliates decided not to take up the network show, they were left with no option but to cancel the series after a single episode.

A good percentage fail. You have to think about the menu, the raw ingredients, and the name of the venue.

It’s the latter where many people fall down. To be fair, it’s not their fault. Often these foreign restaurants are trying to name their venue in a language they don’t understand – which is why you end up with these Engrish-level translations adorning shopfronts around the world.

They’re brash, bold, and plain ugly, and they make my eyes bleed and my brand new 42″ widescreen TV end up with a severe case of screen burn. Craig Sager, you and your horrendous suits are directly responsible for costing me a lot of money, and for thinking that Rihanna always looks quite hefty and mannish when I’m watching her music videos.

Want to see the evidence of the crimes against fashion and flatscreen technology? Check out these horrors.

This one is my favorite:

For the record, it was this one below which broke my TV:

This one above’s worthy of a caption competition. Answers on a postcard! (or in the comments below: whichever you prefer)