John Adam Ziolkowski

Attention of Toronto feminists of UofT, regarding yesterday's protest:

2012-11-17T17:17:00.000-08:00

Instead of forming a physical wall preventing those interested in civil discussion from getting to a talk...
Instead of calling us rape apologists, rape supporters, rapists, and perverts...
Instead of violently assaulting people attending the talk, neutral journalists, and the cops trying to protect us...
Instead of screaming at all of us that we perpetuate rape culture...
Instead of yelling that a centre dedicated to the gendered issues that males face in school is a danger to all women in the university...
Instead of claiming that we are all sexist, homophobic, racist, horrible and evil people...

...consider actually joining in the conversation.

Yesterday, November 16th, 2012, at the Medical Sciences Building of University of Toronto, Dr Warren Farrell held a talk focused on why boys are dropping out of school more, failing school more, applying for school less, committing suicide at higher rates, etc. This talk was not an anti-feminist speech in the least.

Once we finally got to start the talk (over an hour late, due to the blockade), Warren praised feminism and the womens rights movement in 5 separate occasions. He delivered a message of peace, compassion, love, and interest in our society's boys. By all accounts, he was undeserving of all of the hate he received outside. He is a caring, soft-spoken man, and he did his best to answer any question that were asked of him.

If any of you had the patience to actually listen to what he had to say, you'd have felt like fools. When I was denied entry by those of you linking arms, I was able to talk to many of you. With almost every single point I made about mens issues, we reached agreement - but you insisted that any discussion of male issues outside of what feminism allows is hate speech, and firmly believed that you should be able to stop us from taking part.

Just because there are more of you, and you are stronger and louder, does not mean what you are doing is right.

If you want feminism to remain as a movement for equality, you seriously might want to reconsider your anti-male stances. And before anyone here claims "Not all feminists are like that", I'm not saying that they are. But I am saying that these people identify themselves with a term that you hold dear. If you are letting them take feminism and twist it into a violently sexist movement of oppression and censorship, as we saw yesterday, then that's on you, not on us.

I know many of you who were there truly believe in equality. Take a second and actually consider what you are standing for when you protest a conversation simply because boys are the focus and not girls. It is both hilarious and sad that we have come to this.

Misandry: The other side of sexism

2011-11-08T21:37:00.000-08:00

Misandry is the hate of men. It's counterpart, misogyny, the hate of women, is much better known. Some people call this "reverse sexism", but they do not understand the term. This is not a reversal of sexism but sexism itself. Today, many people think there is no such thing as a systematic oppression of males in our society, some people think such a thing could never happen, and some have never even thought of the idea.

Sadly, after exploring the reactions to similar topics, I have little faith in people and their ability to see either the main points or the bigger picture, and I feel as though I need to blatantly defend myself with this disclaimer to spare myself a lot of hateful comments:
I do not intend to belittle the issues women face every day due to our patriarchy, neither do I intend to deny any privileges that men may have in society. I intend to draw attention to issues that men face, and suggest the possibility that women are privileged in their own way in the same society. The two statements are not at all exclusive. I do not consider myself feminist nor masculinist, but humanist: I aim for women's rights just as I aim for men's rights, with equality between all sexes and other categorizations of people, be they in gender, sexuality, race, etc. Finally, I do not at all claim that we are at an equality where we are now, just that equality is the ideal goal.

I have collected 4 major recent cases that easily display the misandry in today's society, and each one will cover a topic of flirting/being sexualized, exhibitionism/voyeurism, rape, and genital mutilation. With these few cases, I hope to bring to light some of the unfairness that men deal with. Each case will be presented objectively, then presented again with reversed gender roles to further push objectivity, followed by my own analysis of the situation. Please read about each case and look up more about it if you'd like to know more.

Case of Rebecca Watson - Sexualization
This year, a woman gave a talk at a feminist event. Afterwards, she went to a bar to drink and discus the issues with many of the attendees. When she left for her hotel room, a man asked "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting. Would you like to come to my room for coffee so we can discus this further?" She declined, and nothing came of it. The following day, she posted a vlog explaining what happened, how she felt sexualized, and condemning his actions. She was encouraged by thousands of commentaries by bloggers and vloggers.
Watch this: Rebecca Watson commenting on what happened

Role Reversal:
A man gets hit on by a woman, and he declines. Nothing happens. He posts a video on the topic, but it gets largely ignored, because this seriously isn't a big deal; not because it happens all the time, but because making a pass at someone of the sex they are attracted to (if that's what the man was doing) is not sexist.

Main Issues:

She explained her situation, placing herself as a weak, helpless, defenceless, single woman. In my opinion, this is a total step back for feminism. She handled the situation in a completely reasonable way given her feelings. She had all the power that was needed in this situation.
He was not doing anything sexual, nor did he even imply sex at all. He offered coffee and discussion because he was genuinely interested in her views on feminism and women's issues.
He was not rude, forceful, or degrading her in any way. He backed off when she rejected him, and did not press the issue any further.
He asked, even pleaded her to not take things the way she probably would, trying to be respectful of her views.
Even if he did mean to offer sex, the idea that men should not be allowed to show any interest in a woman is terrible. Is a man just supposed to wait until a move is made onto him before he can express his interest?

Case of Eric Williamson - Exhibitionism/Voyeurism
A man is naked in his house, making coffee at 5:30 in the morning. A woman walks through his yard as a shortcut with her child. Looking in the window, she sees his naked body, and is offended. She calls the police, and he gets arrested for being an exhibitionist.
Watch this: Fox News report of incident (sorry)

Role Reversal:
A woman is asked in her house. A man walks through her backyard as a shortcut. He sees her body and calls the police right away. He gets arrested for trespassing and voyeurism, rather than her.

Main Issues:

She was on his property, and otherwise would not be able to see his body. If she did not want to see him, she shouldn't have walked through his yard, or looked into his windows.
He was in his own house, and should be able to be as nude as he likes, as often as he wants.
Her child was a boy. Should the male body be censored so strongly from a boy?
He was doing nothing sexual. He was just naked. I feel that the human body should not be censored at all, from anyone. If they don't want to see it, they don't have to look.
A man's body is seen as offensive, more so than that of a female's body. Everyone knows that full frontal nudity in a movie is a way bigger deal when showing off a man's body. Things shouldn't be this way. The male and female body should be viewed as equal, in offence, but also in beauty.

Case of Olga Zajac - Rape
A man tried to rob a store. The female owner overpowers the male, and she binds him. She keeps him in the closet for 3 days, continuously raping him, and force-feeding him only viagra to maintain his erection. When the story gets out, she is praised by thousands of people in the news, on facebook, etc. When asked about the incident later on, she claims that when she released him, she paid him, so it's not rape.

Role Reversal:
A woman tries to rob a store, but the male store owner knocks her out, and repetitively rapes her for days. When he decides to let her escape, she calls the police, and he gets sent to jail, just as any rapist should.

Main Issues:

"He was committing a crime, so he deserved it." No. He did not. No one deserves to be raped. You can't even give the "eye for an eye" argument here, because he was robbing a store, not raping her.
"A man can not be raped by a woman." He was. Men can be raped by women, and men are raped by women. In fact, it happens a lot more often than you'd think, and that's not just including the newer, looser definitions of rape.
"He probably enjoyed it." He was raped! Even if he was given some pleasure from some the situation, it doesn't change the fact that it was against his will, so it should have been decision weather he received that hypothetical pleasure, not hers.
"He was paid for what she did, so it's okay." Contrary to what some people believe, being a prostitute does not mean that you instantly consent to every act done to you. A prostitute has a right to choose what acts to perform, and what money to accept. Not only was this man denied that right, but he was denied the ability to consent to being a prostitute in the first place.
"A man would have done it to a woman, so it's okay." This generalization is terrible and sick. Thinking punishing one person for another's deeds is a terrible fallacy. It's sexist and disgusting.
"You go, girl!" mentality. Egged on by the thousands of encouraging comments, blog posts, news reports, facebook groups, etc, this woman, and other woman may do this again, thinking not only that they could get away with it, but that it would be the right thing to do.

Case of Catherine Kieu Becker - Genital Mutilation
A woman, upset with her husband (soon to be ex-husband, since they were set to get a divorce) drugs him, and ties him to their bed. She waits for him to wake up, then cuts of his genitals with a knife. She then throws them into the garbage dispenser. She is praised my thousands of people. Her story is told on talk show, earning her laughs and cheers and praise.
Watch this: Talk show, The Talk", on this case

Role Reversal:
A man upset with a woman carves out her reproductive organs. Wait a minute, this has been done before! Has anyone heard of Jack the Ripper? Yeah, this is pretty much what he did for fun. He was not hailed as a hero by men everywhere, he was viewed as a sick sociopath, and that's exactly what he was.

Main Issues:

The action was seen by many as an act of revenge for filing divorce. We are said to live in a world where spouses can choose to end marriages, but when there is fear of mutilation, or punishment of any kind, for speaking out, is there really choice?
Directing harm to men's genitals is often viewed as a joke in media, from cartoons making the taletell "Ding!" sound on impact to women in claiming to commit this very act as punishment for upon the man for having an affair, ending a relationship, or even for being the father of her child (usually during pregnancy and birthing scenes), and this is all viewed as okay by billions of people.
"You go, girl!" mentality, once again. This time, it was the worst I have ever seen. Talk show hosts hold her up high, calling her actions fabulous, hysterical, wonderful, and mocking the man and the image of his dismembered genitals being ground to bits. One woman suggested throwing the mess to the dogs, and letting them chew the remains, among many other things.
When one woman on the talk show suggested that laughing at the man's situation could be sexist, that if a similar act was committed against a woman by a man, that no one would be cheering, she is assured "No, it's different; he's a man." These misandric ideas are aired on national, public television during daytime hours, influencing the way people view men, and encouraging women to do the same kind of acts.

Conclusion

Now, in each of these cases, the big issue as I see it is not what the few people involved did (of course those things are bad, but people will most likely always do terrible things) but rather the reactions of the masses: the reaction of the police, of the news, of the media, and of the many, many political activists that are trying to push for human rights, and are not hitting the nail on the head at all.

So many people think that violence against men is justified because they are men, that hate is deserved, and that their rights are indeed worth less than they should be. Many will say it is a trivial matter now, but it is a quickly growing concern, and if we keep ignoring it, then before we know it we will have to fight this issue. The sooner awareness is spread, the easier the future will be. My hope is that this will always truthfully be a trivial matter.

Please comment on this post, as I would love to hear what you have to say on this topic. This is only the first post I will make in this light, and I intend to create a discussion that will not only open others' eyes to the situation, but also my own to any concerns people many have.

~ John Adam

Zombies overtaking Toronto

2011-10-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

There were zombies walking the streets of my city on saturday! Real live zombies! Okay, they weren't living zombies... Well, actually, they were!

The annual zombie walk is the best event, ever. Hundreds of people, maybe over a thousand, get together dressed as the undead, and shamble down the streets, wreaking terror and havoc unto the city. I wish I was able to take pictures, but my phone is still dead.

There were zombie brides, zombie grooms, zombie teddy bears, zombie dogs, Mario and Luigi zombies, princess zombies, construction worker zombies, zombie police, prisoner zombies, zombies eating limbs, dragon ball Z zombies, zombies with intestines falling out, hockey player zombies with hockey sticks through their hearts, and maybe my favourite: Jesus zombies complete with his cross.

There were so many zombies that the cars were having a hard time driving against them, and had to deal with broken bodies smearing fake blood all over their windows. There were enough cries of "What do we want?" "BRAINS!" "When do we want 'em?" "BRAINS!" to make anyone smile.

An interesting addition this year was the occupy movement zombies. They held signs that said great lines, like "Hungry? Eat a banker!", "Zombies have rights, too!", "We only get 1% of the brains!". There were quite a few of them, and each one was unique. Sadly, there was about 100 times the people at the zombie walk than at the occupy movement.

I really like how current events influence walk. It makes sure it's never stale. Of course, how could it ever get stale? It's zombies! Of course, for those that don't know, my game, Quarantine TO is a zombie game placed in Toronto, and the breakout occurs during the zombie walk. It's just the perfect time!

~ John Adam

IGDA meeting

2011-10-21T08:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to my first IGDA meeting. For those that don't know, it stands for the International Game Developers Association. I've wanted to go to one of their meetings before, but I was too nervous. I thought there was nothing that anyone there would be interested in, but I was wrong.

There are tons of artists, tons of programmers, tons of students, and tons of hobbyists that all want to get their foot in the door. It takes a bit of confidence to throw yourself out there, but it is worth it, all the way. Last night, I went looking for artists to help with my current project, Quarantine: T.O. and I met everyone I was looking for. I gave my name to dozens of people, and I collected dozens more.

Seeing the industry from the inside is really helpful. No matter what your industry is, I'm sure the same rule applies. Get out there!

~ John Adam

Occupy Toronto, Occupy Everywhere

2011-10-17T18:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I went to the protests in St James Park. There I saw many people concerned of the way things are going. The signs were so much fun. The internet references made me laugh. There was a medic tent, an open library set up, and a food bank giving food to all the hungry people staying overnight (a bank that supplies you with something of value? Who knew such a thing could exist these days!)

The news reporters were there, and chatting with the people. The police were there, constantly on patrol, but they seemed to be pretty calm. The scariest thing I saw was this black unmarked van with tinted windows, and what appeared to be a boat rack on the roof. I almost took it for just a normal vehicle, but when I looked at the rack closely, I saw that it had a huge dark camera built into the top. It was pointed right at the middle of the protest. It was just then that I realized I could see into the dark windows: two men, in black suits, black ties, and black shades, staring me down. It honestly freaked me out quite a bit. I bet they were getting payed hundreds of dollars an hour to be there. Tax payer's money, of course.

Living in the city gives you this impression that everyone is a sheep. No one thinks about what they do, they just live from one day to the next, you think, and you start to live that way yourself. I was so impressed to see so many people happy to dance and sing and talk and think about what is going on. This moment, more than any other, has reminded me that the world is filled with people: people that work, people that feel, people that suffer under this terrible system.

The most common response I've heard to this movement is "Well sure, it's broken, but there's no point in doing anything until you know how to fix it." But thinking that way is foolish. We know exactly what parts of the system are wrong: jobs are exported rather than goods, bailouts made from the bottom 99% 's taxes are fed to the top, fraudulent loans are taken out by the government from the banks... We must remove these things from the system. Taking them out is exactly what we need to do to fix it, not wait until the perfect solution arises, because it never will. Perfection isn't important right now. What's important is moving towards a somewhat-less-terrible position.

This isn't just for us, or for Toronto, Ontario, or all of Canada. The occupy movement is sweeping the world, as it should. The people of the world are finally standing up to the big corporations and the corrupt governments. If we keep this up, the power will people in the people's hands - how it should be.

~ John Adam

What I do not pay for - a manifesto

2011-10-15T07:14:00.000-07:00

As a student without a job, I have a hard time making ends meet, and when I have to pay for something, lots of stress works its way into my mind. Focusing on all the things I do buy makes me freak out, so I've created this list of items that I can be proud of for being able to resist. When temptation strikes, this list helps keep me on track.

Keep in mind that I am not against using all of these things. There are quite a few items on the list that I'll happily accept or try to get for free. Some examples: someone buys me a game as a present, the news is readily available on the internet, or I find a copy of a textbook I need online.

I will update the list as I think of items. I'll also make a post every so often explaining why I don't pay for these things.

Here's what I don't pay for:

Movie, concert, and amusement park tickets, other one-time events
Cable service, phone service
Movies, video games, pornography, music, other art
Textbooks, manga, novels, other books
Alcohol, marijuana, cigarettes, medicine, other drugs
Organic food, junk food, restaurant food, condiments, spices, desserts
Operating systems, editing programs, other software
Furniture, cutlery, other house things
Clothes
Newspapers
Lottery tickets

Having this list has really helped me keep within my ever-shrinking budget, and taken away a lot of stress. A lot of people would say that not going to the movies would make them sad, but for me, it's something I can relax about. By limiting myself by such constraints, I become more free.

~ John Adam

Samsung sph m540 evdo pcs - an epitaph

2011-10-13T06:26:00.000-07:00

My cell phone, my poor little cell phone, has died. Despite the fact that it's been dying since the day I got it, it's served me pretty well over the 2 years.

I'm going to start off by saying that it was not a smart phone. Not in the least. I guess since it had a capable keyboard, you could place it on the phone intelligence scale, but it would be set right at the bottom, next to rocks.

As far as I know, it was called the Samsung Rant. Now please allow me to rant.

it would turn off randomly
the images it could take were only acceptable quality when making huge files
the keyboard was loosing its ability to type, deciding that "P", "O", and "Space" weren't important
the face buttons lost all their paint quite fast
the alarm would fail to go off sometimes
and then, the alarm would go off, randomly, "Hey, it's 4:38pm! You told me to go off at 8am, but this is much better!"
it would beep, extremely loud, every time it received a text while reading a text, writing a text, or stuck on the screen saying that my text has been sent
it would freeze and crash when receiving a text while sending one, and delete all my messages
it could only hold a hundred texts at one time, about half my day's quota
when sending a text that put it over the 100 mark, it would beep extremely loud and tell me about it, stopping me from doing anything else for a time
when receiving a text during this message, you guessed it, it would delete everything!

Of course, I am still going to miss having a phone...

No texting - obviously the worst. My average messages sent/received for a day was 200.
No alarm clock - I better learn to wake up on my own...
No phone number to accept job offers
No easy way to get the current time
No way to take pictures, videos, voice memos
No looking at my girlfriend's cute face (as the wallpaper) all day anymore </3

I don't know how long I'm going to last without a phone, but really I was paying too much for it anyway. I was thinking of cancelling it soon. But I'm probably going to lose my mind without my phone... we'll see how long I can last.

~ John Adam