John Heald's Blog

THE SOUND OF?

John Heald — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 19:18:45 +0000

I truly believe that life now, at the precise second I am writing this blog thingy, is better than it was a moment ago. But not quite as good as it will be in a minute. Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you’ve just been caught by your wife having rumpy pumpy with the next-door neighbor or [...]

FAMILY NIGHTMARES

John Heald — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 22:37:18 +0000

Good Evening everyone. It’s another freezing cold day here in the UK and I love it because I get to wear my old leather jacket, light a real fire and can say “bugger off” to the man with a beard who sneered at me when he saw me driving my polar-bear-killing machine earlier today. Anyway, in a [...]

Speedy Communication

John Heald — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 21:27:38 +0000

Good afternoon Before we start today please join me in wishing Stephanie well. She will be going into the hospital for surgery tomorrow and we will all be thinking of her. Tom and Tony will continue to post comments and the blogs and although they are not as pretty as Stephanie, they will do well……actually Tom [...]

Sunday Reminder

newsfromsteph — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 16:56:19 +0000

Hi Everyone, First off, Happy Sunday! Now, I just wanted to remind everyone that John has the day off. Regular blogging activities will resume tomorrow (Monday). But, in the meantime, here are some more towel animal theatre videos for your viewing pleasure. Hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving Talk to you soon, Stephanie PS- Just for fun, which towel [...]

Public Health and Bottoms

John Heald — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 22:31:32 +0000

This is going to be a blog that includes stuff about my bottom….and for those with a weak disposition…….I suggest you log on to www.bestblogsatsea.com and read the brilliant and more serious non blogs that have absolutely no mention of bottoms. For those still with me I have to tell you I am not feeling [...]

Our Man in Dubai

John Heald — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:03:18 +0000

I returned home from breakfast this morning with mate Danny and, when I entered the house, I thought we had been robbed. My stuff, including my signed photo of Cyndi Lauper from the Jubilee’s MTV cruise in 1989 had gone. I then realized that we hadn’t been burgled but that Heidi was in one of her [...]

Spectator Sport

John Heald — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 01:47:47 +0000

Every part of my body is cold. My arms, my feet, my eyes, my hair and my hemorrhoids ………….global warming my arse. I just returned from standing next to Alan for two hours watching his son play rugby for his school. “Would you like to come along?” asked my mate and like an idiot I said [...]

Down the Pub

John Heald — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 20:06:22 +0000

There are times when I think life would be a lot less complicated if I was an animal ….a deer for example, wandering the woodland waiting for someone called Billy Bob from ESPN2 to come and shoot me in the head. “Why a deer?” I hear you say ……. well ……. because then, all [...]

Hi Diy

John Heald — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 20:25:32 +0000

There is a book called “Women Are From Mars and Men Are from Uranus” or something like that……………………well, whoever wrote that bestseller was absolutely correct. When I host my morning shows on the ship I always get at least two or three a week where men….who have done something terrible………..use me to apologize live on the [...]

Looking Through the Porthole

newsfromsteph — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:19:09 +0000

It’s a good job Heidi got pregnant. That’s because this morning I received a letter from the British Adoption service we had registered with a few months ago. Unfortunately, despite the fact that Heidi and I would have loved the child beyond measure and having big coal fires to keep everyone warm at night, I [...]