Johnny Canucklehead

Canucks "Fin"-ish Off Avs . . . And My Ear

2011-12-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

Despite last night's surprising 6-0 win (outshot 32-23, outhit 40-18, 1 for 5 on the powerplay) over the Avs, the Canucks came out of it with injuries to David Booth, Roberto Luongo and a certain fan writing this from the Johnny Canucklehead wing of the ICU. The former two you probably saw on the broadcast or read online. The latter, well, go back to the Zapruder DVR-ed version of last night's game. Fast-forward to the Daniel Sedin hat-trick goal. Unlike that link on YouTube, if you have the right angle off the Sportsnet Pacific broadcast maybe you'll see the Canucks' mascot, Fin, by the glass on the right-wing boards along row one next to the faceoff circle, tossing an oversized chapeau onto the ice.

Well, that Fin who now seems less Petri Skriko and now more Jarkko Ruttuu blindsided my ear with his flipper as he tossed the cap over the glass. Did my fan-mates come to my defence?

I'm back and I'm cuter than ever!

Well, my wife, who was to my right, was too preoccupied with Mason Raymond's cuteness so she was no help at all. The couple to my left in matching blue Nux jerseys who never even let peep a single throaty yell or cheer all game long (bar for goals) were as responsive as any pair of Buffalo Sabres were to the Inter-Milan Lucic. The glassbanger in his retro '90s jersey three seats down was too busy banging the glass or downing his $9 beer. The corporate raiders behind me who spent pretty much the entire game talking about some book donation to UBC going awry were not going to get their manicured nails damaged.

So there I was, hung out to dry just like Ryan Miller was.

According to NHL protocol I guess I was supposed to go to a quiet place after that head shot from a large killer whale. Given I was in a $246 (thank you, corporate Canadian tax writeoffs!) seat, I opted to tough it out like a real hockey fan until the final horn.

It was only after I got home and took my glasses off, rubbed my ear and found I had been cut. The gash behind my ear is, I guess, now a badge of honor, but, Fin, I know where you are 41 times a year (not counting playoffs or exhibition games) so unless you want to become a new Chinese fin soup delicacy, you might want to remember you may have won the battle vs. Richard Harris back in 1977 but you lost the war for a sequel.

FIN

2011-10-21T16:34:00.001-07:00

The broken record has returned again in the October form of Roberto Luongo--still bad after all these Octobers. The only solution to prevent this slow Canuck start from continuing is:

Occupy Luongo
Save me from October!

By forming a tent village around his Yaletown condo Canuck fans can keep him at home where he belongs for the month of October. Being surrounded by such loyal Canuck fans will pump his tires with the love he so craves. So not only will he do the Canucks more good by staying at home in October, it'll also imprint in his brain that staying "at home" is safer than venturing outside his crease when he returns to the ice. After all there is nothing scarier than Luongo's impersonations of Patrick Roy playing the puck without the spectacular scrambling back to make the save moves Patrick was famous for.

Further to this Occupy Luongo initiative, a new internship program can be started by the University of British Columbia School of Engineering. Undergrads can gain valuable work experience by being employed to build sea walls around all NHL cities with ocean coastlines. This will give Bobby Lu the comfort to get his mind and body right for any away game with a comforting walk along these sea walls. The problem of inland cities far from the sea will be met by constructing riverwalks and lakeside walls and convincing Roberto that all water is created equal be it fresh- or seawater.

Those cities lacking in water such as ones located in deserts (Phoenix) or in counties where oranges no longer grow (Anaheim) will require significant canal building and transporting of water to fill said canals before any "seawalls" can be built. But what better way to stimulate the US economy than great big bloated government projects that with NHL cooperation gets more good PR for the league than a barrel full of Ovechkin commercials.

So let it begin. Show you're true Canuck fans and join Occupy Luongo or the Luongo Seawall Project today. You can make a difference!

V is for Victory . . . for Vancouver!

This Is Vancouver

2011-06-16T10:33:00.000-07:00

We Are All Homers

2011-06-14T20:01:00.001-07:00

Green Men Unite!

Although the Vancouver Canucks have not looked like champions on the road in the 2011 Final, there is some strong historical data backing a win tomorrow. No team has won three Game 7s in a single playoff year and there's some hard evidence of bouncebacks in Game 7s for teams with that one-game home-ice advantage.

Of teams in the Final who were beaten in Game 6 by a margin of at least three goals, all those Game 6 "losers" came back in Game 7s to win the Cup.

In the 1954 and 1955 Finals the Detroit Red Wings were beaten 4-1 and 6-3 respectively in Game 6s in Montreal. In '54 they had to go to OT in Game 7 but Tony Leswick flipped the puck at the Habs' net and Hall of Famer Doug Harvey accidentally gloved the puck into his own net for a 2-1 Wings' victory. In '55 the Wings had a bit more breathing room with a 3-1 win in Game 7 over the Habs in a series in which all home games were won by the home teams.

That's ancient history really and you have to fast-forward to '94 when as many of you may remember the Canucks beat the New York Rangers 4-1 sending the Final back to Madison Square Garden where we all know what Lafayetted out there.

In '03 the then Mighty Ducks of Anaheim beat the New Jersey Devils 5-2 in Game 6 before heading off to the New Jersey swamp to be shut out by Martin Brodeur for the third time in the series in a 3-0 Devils' Cup win. That '03 Final saw all home teams win their home games.

Even the Canucks' division annoyances the Edmonton Oilers beat the Carolina Hurricanes in Game 6 4-0 before the Canes took Game 7 at home 3-1.

Bruins Fans Not Cuddly Bears?

As you'll have read or seen on the Net, B's fans gave traveling Canuck fans in the crowds at the TD Garden plenty of verbal, and even some physical, abuse. Of course, no sane fan condones this but here's a news flash: Sports fans, especially in East Coast cities, are rabid (and you don't need a player to bite you to know what that means). Yes, you may have money to burn. Mr. Yaletown or Mrs. Point Grey, but you have to realize you were going into enemy territory and once Aaron Rome pancaked Nathan Horton, the worse came out in New Englanders.

This is one reason once Tampa Bay lost, our own plans here at Canucklehead HQ to try to attend Games 3 and 4 of the Final were scotched. Boston may be a great city to visit but not dressed up in any opposing teams' colors in any sport. So, basically, win or lose, where's the fun in spending thousands of dollars to expose yourself to getting at the very least a verbal takedown. We've been in European soccer crowds so we at least know what to do and what not to do. I'm sure the vast majority of Canuck fans who flew out to Boston, despite years of watching hockey on TV, had ever really comprehended what opposing rinks are really like come playoff time outside of Canada or the laidback West Coast.

Being Puckheads

Being a hockey fan I get the whole bandwagon thing, and I get people who don't understand what the neutral zone trap is (let alone icing) being on board. The thing is there's blind optimism, and there's reality. Sure, we all want the Canucks to win it all, but some of us "hockey" fans were really hoping if that day finally came that they'd do it with style. Oh well, joining the likes of the '06 Hurricanes or any of the Devils' Cups isn't all that bad, is it?

Can't complain too much as the '94 Final will always go down as one of the all-time classic finals in hockey history. It's just was it asking too much that if Boston can carpetbomb the Canucks 8-1 and 4-0 that the Canucks couldn't reciprocate?
Of course, Tim Thomas is playing goal at a level not achieved since the age of the Dominator, but Tampa were able to ventilate him for 5 goals in four different games in the semifinals. Even Montreal put 4 past Thomas in one of the games in the first round.

Boys, time to stick it to the B's

Which Sedin's Not Scoring?

Yes, the 2010 Conn Smythe winner Jonathan Toews had only 3 points and was -5 in the Final for the Chicago Blackhawks.
Yes, Sydney Crosby got only 3 points and was -3 in the Final as the Pittsburgh Penguins took the Cup in 2009.
There's also another Conn Smythe winner in Henrik Zetterberg but he did lead the Wings with 6 points in 6 games in the Final as the Wings won the 2008 Cup.
I get it--checking is tougher, the goaltending can be insanely great and the penalty killing is more intense--but after taking so long to actually get good, couldn't the Sedins fight (and I don't mean this after-the-whistle nonsense) through all that and at least look like the Art Ross Trophy winners they are supposed to be.

Bingo Bango Bongo Indeed

Roberto Luongo is certainly the surliest and most inconsistent goalie the Canucks ever rode to the Final with. As bizarre as that is, he's one more walk around the Seawall from leading (and it looks like he will have to lead given the lack of offence) the Canucks to the Holy Grail.
He's also one more game from walking the plank on the flip side of that equation.
That's sports. One minute you're the hero, four minutes later you're being fitted for goathorns.

Shh, Don't Mention The Wounded

What is amazing about the Canuck run is the players now out of the lineup for Game 7. We all know all playoff runs that players play with injuries. The key word is "play" which Ryan Kesler will do even if it's on one leg (or is it one groin?). Given no Mikael Samuelsson for most of the playoffs, no Dan Hamhuis after Game 1 of the Finals, no Aaron Rome after Game 3, no Mason Raymond now, maybe that's why the Canucks have struggled in the Final. It's hard enough winning it all with everyone healthy but Nathan Horton aside, you take away Zdeno Chara's D partner, Dennis Seidenberg, and, say, either Andrew Ference or Johnny Boychuk and one more forward like a veteran somewhat in Samuelsson's vein per chance Michael Ryder or Mark Recchi...and now go out and play Game 7. No excuses but should the Bruins take the Cup, just imagine what could have been if these Canucks could have "played."

What Does It All Mean?

I suppose for many Canuck fans it will be a dream come true, a relief and a cathartic experience all wrapped in one. Given how truly awful the hockey has been in this Final, all I'm hoping for is please let Game 7 be a classic and, if the Canucks actually blow this, let it be one where they go out with their guns blazing.

Let's see some goals.
Let's see a few lead changes.
Let's see the Canuck powerplay score a couple of goals.
Let's stop making what was possibly the worst playoff powerplay unit going in look now like the '50s Habs.

And, please, Lord Canucklehead, whatever happens, make sure Luongo does not impersonate Frank Caprice anymore.

Lastly, if the worse all you litterbugs who are heading downtown tomorrow do is leave trash on our city streets, I'll be OK with that. Just don't trash our city's reputation or anything else by being a yahoo. That's just so '90s, dude.

Win with class and, should worse come to worse, lose with class. In between feel free to crosscheck the opponent in the head after the whistle. The refs won't call it anyway.

Doubting Thomas Or Loser-ongo?

2011-06-10T14:43:00.000-07:00

Shoot The Puck!

Tim Thomas is approaching Kirk McLean's '94 record for saves in a single playoff run. This is incredibly positive news for the Canucks' chances. You remember '94, McLean faced all those shots in a heroic playoff effort but the New York Rangers won the Cup.

Have a gander at the list of the top five in this odd category:
1. Kirk McLean (Van '94) 761 saves
2. Tim Thomas (Bos '11) 700
3. Ron Hextall (Phil '87) 698
4. Olaf Kolzig (Wash '98) 696
5. John Vanbiesbrouck (Fla '96) 685

Notice anything common among the four goalies not named Thomas? Yep, none of their teams won the Cups in those years. Eventually all that rubber catches up with you and you may even win a Conn Smythe like Hexy did in '87 but odds are you can't win it all.

Keep shooting the puck and eventually Thomas will give up more than one goal in 60 minutes of play...as he has in all previous series in 2011. Just pray the goalie at the other end gives up one less is all any Canuck fan asks.

From Orr to Park to Bourque...to Chara?

Yes, Mike Gillis's plan to recreate the Carolina Hurricanes '06 Cup winning defence-by-committee may fail vs. the usual have a Norris Trophy type D-man and ride him to the Cup. Yet is Zdeno Chara so "dominant"?

Being able to shut down the Canucks' top scorers, Daniel Sedin and Ryan Kesler, can be answered more as follows--Dominik Hasek, Jr. It's simply the Zach GalapagoDaskalakis lookalike (go see my movie Hangover II playing now in a theater near Rogers Arena! Tuesdays--$7.50 all day!) in the B's nets is playing as well as the Dominator in his prime.

Chara and his D-partner, Dennis Seidenberg, are a collective +24 in the playoffs, but they better be buying Timmy Boy a few dinners should the silverware end up in Boston.
Daniel has had 16 shots on goal in the four games and, even if skewed by his eight shots in Game 1, that's still a pace that would place him 4th overall in the regular season for shots on goal.
Kesler has ten shots on goal so far through four games. That's pretty much his pace in the last series vs. San Jose. Maybe he is playing hurt but again maybe Thomas is making the saves that Antii Niemi did not, especially in those last two games of the Sharks' series when Kesler had a key goal in each game.

Woe Is The Powerplay

This often repeated mantra that special teams are soooooo important in the playoffs is ignoring the fact that the vast majority of games are played five-on-five. Powerplay goals are few and far between when teams get to the Final because most of the time the goalies teams face are actually very good. We won't even get into how good the penalty killers themselves are on good teams.

So then why don't the offensive players dominate?
Simply put, defence wins championships and has even when the Air Hockey Oilers or Flying Frenchmen dynasties were in vogue.
Yes, it'd be nice to see the Canucks score on the powerplay but more importantly is how teams play at even strength and NOT giving up backbreaking shorthanded goals at the most inappropriate points in the games.

Let's have a unscientific, but randomly fun look at how "important" the powerplay is in the Final:

'87 Final
Edmonton Gretzkys vs. Philly Keenans

Philly outscored Edmonton on the PP 6 goals to 4 but gave up 3 shorthanded Oiler tallies.
At even strength the Oil outscored the Illka Sinisalos 15-11 in the series.
The powerplay was a factor in Game 2 with the Oil's lone PP goal in regulation being part of a 3-2 OT win. Other than that is was pretty much a wash in each game. Philly even potted its lone goal in Game 7 on the PP yet lost 3-1.

'91 Final
Mario Penguins vs. Not Dallas Stars

In the series Pittsburgh scored 7 powerplay goals but gave up 3 shorthanded goals.
Minnesota scored 3 PP goals and gave up 2 SH goals.
Yet the statistics don't tell the whole story as 3 of those Pens' PP goals were in the Game 6 clincher which was an 8-0 blowout.
Go back further, with Minny up 2-1 in the series they outscored the Pens 2-0 on the powerplay yet lost Game 4 by a score of 5-3.
At even strength the Pens outscored the Stars 27-16 in the series.

'08 Final
Detroit Zetterbergs vs. Pittsburgh Crosbys

The Pens outscored the Wings on the PP 5-4 in the series but gave up a shorthanded goal so that's a wash.
The Winged Wheels outscored the Flightless Birds 12-5 at even strength.
Game, set and Osgood to Detroit.

'09 Final
Datsyuk Wings vs. Malkin Penguins

Pens again outscored the Wings on the PP 4 to 3 plus this time the Pittsburghers potted a shortie of their own. This was a decided advantage in Games 3 and 4 where the Penguins' special teams helped win both games 4-2 as they scored that shorthander plus 3 of their powerplay goals vs. the Wings in the two home games.
Yet in the decisive Games 6 and 7, neither team scored on the powerplay in consecutive 2-1 wins by the Pens.
In the end at even strength the Wings outscored the Pens over the seven games 13-9 yet lost.

Draw your own conclusions, but of these four high profile Finals featuring winning teams that had the most offensive talent in the NHL at the time, only the one Final in 2009 could you say the powerplay was significant enough a factor to swing the series.

So far in the 2011 Final the tally is:
Boston 3 PP goals to Vancouver's 1.
Boston has scored 2 goals shorthanded.
At even strength Boston has a 9-4 advantage.

Even if Vancouver scored two more powerplay goals than Boston in each game, well, it'd still be 2-2. Just in case you're wondering.

Having A Final Eight Ball

2011-06-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

If you think there are not many teams that give up eight goals or more in a Stanley Cup Final game and then go on to win the Cup, you'd be obviously right.

Strange thing, though, the first team to get an eight-spot scored against it since the NHL was involved in the Stanley Cup Final, actually rebounded from that huge loss and went on to win the whole kit and kaboodle...and there's a Vancouver connection.

In the inaugural 1917/18 season of the NHL the predecessor of today's Maple Leafs, the Toronto Arenas (I guess "Rinks" was already spoken for as a team nickname?) got thumped 8-1 by the Vancouver Millionaires (the Pacific Coast Hockey Association champs) in Game 4 of the then best-of-five Stanley Cup Final. The Arenas came back and won Game 5 2-1 to take the Cup.

In other weird bits of trivia, the two leagues that battled for the Stanley Cup back then played under different rules. The PCHA was a 6-on-6 skaters league and the NHL was like the current 5-on-5 skaters. The games alternated between being played under the two leagues' rules with the Cyclone Taylors winning the two games played under the PCHA "rover" rule and the Team That Would Become Leafs winning the three played under NHL rules. Due to biplanes not being a feasible form of commerical transportation yet, the entire series was played in Toronto that year after the Millionaires took the Pierre Berton Transcontinental Railway across to the Centre of the Then Much Smaller Universe.

Only problem is, if history does repeat itself and the losing team of this 8-1 defeat wins it all in 2011, hopefully next year's Final will not be a repeat of the Final which followed 1918's and resulted in no team winning the Cup, a flu epidemic and a player dying. And you thought this year's Final has had a lot of drama?

In modern times, only the New York Islanders and Montreal Canadiens have rebounded from getting ventilated for 8 goals against in a game.

In the Isles' first of their four Cups in a row, they lost Game 2 in 1980 to the Philadelphia Flyers 8-3. The Bob Nystroms bounced back to win three (all home games) of the last four to take the Cup in six games.

Hey, Sedins, technically I am "Swedish"

The Habs in one of the wackiest playoff games ever lost 8-7 at home in Game 5 to the Chicago Black Hawks (pre-"Blackhawks") in the 1973 Final. The goalies in that game--Hall of Famers Ken Dryden for Montreal and Tony Esposito for Chicago. This series does come with one Big M rejoinder. The Habs won Game 1 8-3 so technically giving up 8 in a one-goal game when you ventilated the opponent for 8 in another game that was a blowout sort of makes a moot Yvan Cournoyer of a point to all of this.

For those with your Stanley Cups half full of champagne, the Canucks could be headed for an '80s Islanders dynasty if they take the Cup in 2011. That could be helped along, if Coach V stops coaching like the Yogi Bear he looks like, and starts dressing seven defencemen. As canucks fans would like to see some insurance of the backline, you know in case an Aaron Rome gets tossed or a Dan Hamhuis gets injured during a game. Just a suggestion.

For those with your silver chalises half-empty, there have only been three teams (if we count the '73 Habs among them) out of nine who have given up 8 or more goals in a Cup Final game who've come back to win the Cup.

Even scarier is the fact no team since the '09 Pens (what?) has come back from 0-2 down in the Stanley Cup so.... we're long overdue ....Oh, forget it! The Canucks are toast. Doomed, I say.

Just to ring off on another low note here's something to overload your hockey trivia memory banks:
The famous 0-3 comeback Leafs destroyed the Detroit Red Wings 9-3 in Game 5 on the way to reeling off those four straight wins to take the '42 Stanley Cup.

So Tired . . . Tired of Waiting . . .

2011-06-06T13:12:00.000-07:00

"I've waited all my life for this. We want the Cup!"

--random 24 y/o fan on Granville Street after Game 2

Yes, as soon as any person born in a B.C. hospital comes out of their mother's womb, they do put them in a "waiting" room which might have been decorated with Vancouver Canucks' memorabilia. Technically, then it has been possible you've been waiting for all 24 of your years for a Canuck Cup.

Without pulling too much rank, the rest of us who've actually been around the entire 40 seasons (well, 39 as we lost the 2004/05 season thanks to the lockout), I think we've been waiting most of our lives more for a team that could actually win more games than it lost in a season.

Consistently doing that seemingly simple task that even the St. Louis Blues have managed for most of their team's history would have been a start. Going on deep playoff runs more than every 12 seasons were things one could only dream of happening for the Canucks. To think we'd actually waste any precious time on Planet Canuck "waiting" for a Cup to actually be won is more something a fan with little grasp of reality had like, say, a Toronto Make Belief fan.

Honestly, since Roberto Luongo came over in a trade with Florida is probably when this particular Cup waiting period truly began for most fans. Finally, the Dan Cloutier era was over! Rejoicing could be heard from Burrard Inlet to the last spike at Golden that finally the missing cog in the Canuck machine was filled. After all, it's not like a lot of us expected the Luongo-era Canucks to win the Cup in 2011 given the lack of deep playoff runs to build a base of confidence on. The Canuck past playoff woes have been a hard nut for even this version of the team to crack.

Hey, Dan, the puck went five hole

That sad playoff history has been hard to shake. Back in 1975 it was a totally different story as two expansion teams made the Stanley Cup Final. Vancouver's '70/71 expansion cousin, the Buffalo Sabres, took on one of the "Expansion Six" in Philly's Broad Street Bullies, who were the defending Cup champs.

That '74/75 season saw the Canucks have a winning record for the first time in their history and actually win a playoff game against the mighty Montreal Canadiens. Things were looking up in Vancouver.

Then the Canucks fell to just a game over .500 in the following season and continued the fall from playoff grace to the "never bad enough to draft Mario Lemieux but as mediocre as they come" era. Even in the King Richard-led run to the Final in 1982, the Canucks were three games under .500 in the regular season.

No one expected anything of them in the "come one, come all" playoffs of that particular Air Hockey season. Thanks, though, to the Los Angeles Kings riding that Miracle on Manchester to a massive upset over the Gretzky-in-his-prime scoring machine Edmonton Oilers, the Canucks took full advantage of sudden home-ice advantage (getting to play the 17th placed Kings and then the 15th-placed Chicago Blackhawks in the next two rounds). Obviously, expectations to actually win the Cup vs. the two-time defending champion New York Islanders were close to zero. Well, if Harold Snepsts had not passed the puck to Mike Bossy (of all people!) in OT in Game 1, maybe...(oh, who am I kidding?) the Canucks would have won a game and lost in five instead of being swept.

Another nine seasons of under .500 hockey would come and go interrupted by one lone semi-highlight in 1989 taking the 1st overall Calgary Flames (who would go on to win the Cup that year) to a Game 7 OT before Joel Otto kicked the winning goal in while standing in the crease. Check the video.

It really wasn't until Pavel Bure in '91/92 came onboard would the Canucks have a legitimately good team...and an actual "I'm on the edge of my seat every time he touches the puck" hockey player (all due respect to Ron Sedlbauer's 40-goal '78/79 season). So I guess I will cut any Bure fan slack as their wait has been at least 20 years for the Canucks to win a Cup.

The rest of us are pretty happy we've finally got a team that has been winning on a fairly consistent basis. When I say "consistent," I'm talking in Canuck terms as the team has had seven losing seasons out of the past 19 since the day Pavel descended from Moscow to the West Coast.

Call me greedy, but should the Canucks finish the job in 2011 (please sweep...I can't handle a seven-game gutwrenching put the knife in, pull the knife out near Shakespearian tragedy), here's hoping that they don't turn into a Carolina Hurricanes' "one Cup and done" team.

Who's going to complain all that much because one Cup is more than our expansion buddies the Sabres have as well as the Kings, Blues, Capitals and Winnitoba Moosejets or Phoenipeg Jetyotes who also have no Stanley Cups...yet? I won't even mention the delusional fan base in the Centre of the Universe on their blue-and-white's post-expansion Cup drought.

Let's just say to all fans out there, there's "waiting" and then there's "waiiiiiiiiting" when it comes to Lord Stanley and the Vancouver Canucks. Just stop by Cyclone Taylor's grave and ask him how long he's been waiting for the Cup to return to Vancouver.

I'm tired of standing here since 1915!

Still Bruin Some Serious Love For Boston

2011-06-03T17:26:00.000-07:00

As someone who grew up a Bruins fan (now very much a lapsed one--thank you, Jeremy Jacobs) I've had numerous Canucks fans over the past few days baffled that they have come across B's fans whether at work or play.

A tribute to Maxim Lapierre

First we must take a time machine back to the fall of 1970 to understand this phenomenon. That was, as many of you might have noticed from the "40" logo above, the start of the NHL Canucks. Prior to that the Canucks did exist but played in the Western Hockey League. Not today's major junior WHL of which our Vancouver Giants are a part of but a professional league with most teams up and down the West Coast of North America (apologies to the inland member clubs the Denver Spurs, Salt Lake Golden Eagles and Phoenix Roadrunners).

Andy Bathtub in Canuck colors

The WHL Vancouver Canucks won the league championship in both '68/69 and '69/70 so Vancouver hockey fans knew what winning was all about. When the franchise entered the NHL it was able to keep but a few of its WHL championship roster. So you had a Canucks team that was arguably the best team outside the NHL with some real stars (Hall of Famer Andy Bathgate being one) in the spring of 1970 morph into an NHL expansion team in the fall of that year that had zero chance of competing for any sort of championship. (That '70/71 team did give it a good ole college try and were in the playoff hunt until captain Orland Kurtenbach got injured late in that inaugural NHL campaign.)

The novelty of the NHL was one thing but many local hockey fans gravitated towards either stars or winning teams in that first season. Since the '70/71 Boston Bruins obliterated NHL scoring records at that time, so many kids got hooked on the B's. You had the greatest player in the world in Bobby Orr running the whole show. A defenceman who was the Hart Trophy winner that season.
Just have a look at these raw numbers for Orr in '70/71:
37 goals, 102 assists, +124

Yet statistics do not fully explain how Orr controlled games. Watch this remarkable penalty killing job here.

Centerman Phil Esposito spent the whole season stationed in the slot and set about annihilating both the single season goal scoring record and the points record. Espo had 76G and 76A for 152 points. The previous records were 58 goals by Bobby Hull (Chicago) and Phil's own 126 points both done two seasons prior.

Espo's season record stood until a kid called Wayne Gretzky came along about a decade later.

Phil Espotato's sideburns ruled the slot

The top four point producers in the league were all Bruins that season! Johnny Bucyk and Ken Hodge joining Espo and Orr. The Bruins, as a team, scored 399 goals. The next best team scoring-wise was the Habs with 291 goals.

To get a somewhat fair comparison prorate the Bruins '70/71 totals to our current 82-game (they played a 78-game schedule in '70/71) context as well as converting all the Canucks '10/11 OT/SO wins and losses into one-point ties so we're using the pre-OT/SO point system and here's what we get:

'70/71 Boston Bruins 127 points, 419 goals for

'10/11 Vancouver Canucks 110 points, 262 goals for

This Bruins team was so dominant and dynamic offensively in an era that was most definitely not the air hockey '80s led by the best all-around player maybe in hockey history in Bobby Orr and kids just gravitated to the Bruins...until a fateful quarter-final vs. what was to become the B's arch nemesis--the Montreal Canadiens.

Just as "everyone" also loves an underdog, the Habs (or any team that would have faced Boston in the 1971 playoffs) were that team. Throw in the mix a rookie goalie by the name of Ken Dryden (thanks also to a stellar all-star defense crew that included J.C. Tremblay, Guy Lapointe, Terry Harper and Jacques Laperriere...and no, I didn't forget Serge Savard but he was injured and did not play in that year's playoffs) and the rest is history.

Suddenly, you had the school playground divided into Bruins and Habs fans pretty much throughout the '70s and well into the '80s.

It really wasn't until Pavel Bure arrived that Canuck fever took off like a rocket (apologies to the '82 run to the Final team but that fire fizzled out quickly right from the '82/83 season after).

So, there you have it, recent Canuck fans. Don't take offence with any older folk around who may still be Boston Bruins fans. It's not that they don't love the Canucks. It's just like all older people, they never forgot their first love no matter how boring a style the current group wearing the "B" on their chests play.

Get Forwards and Prosper!

2011-05-19T10:40:00.000-07:00

Is there a possible bigger NHL playoff choker in this century so far than the San Jose Sharks?

Logically, this should have been the playoffs where the Sharks got over the hump? Recent history has shown a team that has made a deep run the previous season will follow up with another deep run and most likely will snag the Cup.

Happened last season as the Chicago Blackhawks won it all a season after they made it to the semis. It happened in 2009 when the Pittsburgh Penguins returned to the Final a year after they lost and subsequently beat the Detroit Red Wings on the second go-round.
The Wings themselves proved the maxim by losing in the semis in '07 to the Anaheim Ducks and then the following season taking the Cup.
The Ducks in '06 got Roloson-ed in the semis by the Edmonton Oilers and in '07 fought (literally) back to win the Cup.

San Jose had even done what looked like all the right moves to enhance their chances. They got a "better" goalie dumping longtime Shark Evgeni Nabokov for the '10 Cup winner Antti Niemi. They have a Norris Trophy level defenceman in Dan Boyle seemingly with plenty left in the offensive tank.
They changed coaches a few seasons back and got rid of the "genius in his own mind" Ron Wilson and replaced him with someone (Todd McLellan) from a Cup winning organization (he was formerly an assistant coach with the Wings).
Joe Thornton no longer is a playoff choker as emphasized by his fantastic overtime heroics so far in the 2011 playoffs.
Newsflash, Mr. Jeremy Roenick, Patrick Marleau is not "gutless" at all. He had 5G 1A in the sweep by Chicago last season and he's stepping up so far vs. Vancouver with goals in each of the first two games.
So what is going on with the Sharks?

Their defence has been bad to horrible with the only plus player over those six semi-final games in these two seasons being Jason Demers and only barely at a +1. The two biggest culprits are
Boyle, despite 6A in 6GP, being a -4 and Douglas Murray who is a -5 after last night's -3 nightmare.

Worse are the forwards not named Thornton or Marleau as not only are they minus monsters but Dany Heatley, Devin Setoguchi, Ryan Clowe and Joe Pavelski are a collective -13 and have a less than impressive total of zero (yes, you heard that right) goals and 7 assists in those six semi-final games so far over the two seasons.

So through six games in the semis, the only forwards to score Shark goals have been Marleau with 7, Logan Couture with 2, Joe Thornton with 1 and big Ben Eager with another.

Just these past two games alone have seen six different Canuck forwards light the lamp.

Maybe there is your answer as the special teams in both the Sharks series vs. the Hawks and the Canucks have been a wash as they all had their powerplays working quite well (as witnessed by the two powerplay goals by San Jose in Game 2 countered by the three from Vancouver).
The San Jose forwards have simply been outplayed by both the Canuck and Blackhawk forwards over the past two seasons at even strength.

If the Sharks do not come back and win this series, GM Doug Wilson is going to have to seriously Jonathan Cheechoo a few of these unproductive Shark forwards out of San Jose and get some more reliable scorers. So maybe Ben Eager's hit on Daniel Sedin is not the reason the Canucks took control of the series at all. Maybe it's more about the other underperforming Shark forwards and the Maxim-um Lapierre efforts the Canucks forwards are now coming up with in rd. 3.

Wither the Sedins...and Kesler

2011-05-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

For some again bizarre reason the media seemed shocked that the Sedin twins are not producing in the playoffs. Start off with the fact the playoffs are not the regular season so the Sedins don't get to feast on wimpy Northwest non-playoff teams at all and there's your answer pretty much. Why is this not obvious to people whining about the Sedins' lack of production? Both the Nashville Predators and the Vancouver Canucks have a lack of production so far in this series and it's following the exact same pattern of their regular season tilts.

During the regular season games these two clubs averaged a paltry 3.5 goals per game and that included two empty net goals. Throw in the netminding of Pekka Rinne and Roberto Luongo and is it any wonder goals are hard to come by?

Versus Nashville this season Daniel had a goal and 2 assists, Henrik had 3 assists in the four games. You can pretty much expect the same in the playoffs. Just for the record, Alexandre Burrows was the Canucks' leading goal scorer with 3 goals in the 4 games vs. Nashville in 2010/11.

Expecting anyone to score in bunches in this series is beyond ridiculous.
It may happen in one game or two but overall this was predicted to be a low-scoring series and so that prediction is coming true.

But what may you ask about the Anaheim series in rd. 1 where Rinne was a sieve and gave up tons of goals?
No different from their regular season meeting where the Ducks and the Preds averaged 7 goals a game.

It comes down to matchups period in the playoffs (and in the regular season really).
Anaheim's speed, size and skill is tough for the Preds to deal with.
The Sedins' lack of speed and size means basically the Preds are thankful Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, Bobby Ryan ("Don't forget me!" adds Teemu Selanne) are not Canucks.

What baffles me most about the media's obsession with the Sedins' non-production is they should be more surprised if the twins did dominate vs. Nashville. There is no track record to suggest they can. They'll hopefully be a factor in this series but to expect the Sedins to rack up the 18 points Getzlaf, Perry and Ryan (who was suspended for two games in the first round and basically looks like he cost the Ducks a shot of at least a Game 7) got vs. the Preds in the previous round is unrealistic.

Also, haven't the local reporters been following the Canucks all season long and been covering the NHL playoffs for decades? Do they not realize that finishing first overall is often not an indication that a team is ready-for-primetime playoff success? Did they not notice the Canucks play in a very weak division hence the point total is vastly overinflated relative to the other division leaders in the Western Conference?

So the Canucks finished first overall in goals for and on the powerplay.
Last I looked the playoffs are a different type of hockey. Otherwise don't you think San Jose and Washington would both have Stanley Cups by now?

Now we could go on about Ryan Kesler's goal drought but you have to factor in that in rd. 1 with Manny Malhotra out, Kesler had to revert to his old shutdown center role. With very little Canuck powerplay time vs. Chicago, it also meant the number of chances he got to score were reduced drastically as GM Mike Gillis pointed out.
To top it off (again with the matchups?) anyone with access to the Web, would have known that Kesler did the following in the regular season:
vs. Chicago 4GP 0G 2A even +/-
vs. Nashville 4GP 0G 0A -5

If everyone would like the Sedins and Kesler to score at their regular season rate, I'd suggest they petition the NHL to expand the playoffs to allow the Calgary Flames in next season. The Sedins and Kesler racked up 8G and 22 pts vs. the Lames in their 6 regular season games.

Until that happens, we aren't going to see the Sedins or Kesler on the scoreboard as much as their overall regular season totals suggest they should be. Do not despair, though, as they along with many of the other players on both teams in this series that will find goals hard to come by thanks to superior netminding. Just cross your fingers, Canuck fans, that Luongo does not let in another softie that swings the series in the Preds' favor.

By The Numbers

2011-04-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

Much of the blame of the Vancouver Canucks' collapse in this series is on the shoulders of our defense and Roberto Luongo as it should be. Yet why should we be surprised by this?

If we just look at the raw stats of Game 4s, 5s and 6s of the past three seasons (albeit Game 6 has yet to be played in 2011), there is a very disturbing pattern on the backline:
Alexander Edler 1G 2A -6

Christian Ehrhoff 1G 2A -7
Kevin Bieksa 2G 4A -1
Sami Salo 1G 1A -6

Bieksa is the only one who matches up well offensively with the Chicago Blackhawks' Norris Trophy defenceman Duncan Keith. That's in the past, though, as Bieksa did not record a single point in Game 4 or 5 this year.

The Blackhawks' back end has been terrific and although Keith gets the headlines, it's really Brian Campbell who has proven his mettle in all three series. Just look at that whopping +10. Talk about your shutdown defenceman with a huge offensive contribution as well. His play alone may explain the lack of production from the Canucks' second and third lines:

Duncan Keith 3G 5A +3
Brent Seabrook 1G 1A +2
Brian Campbell 1G 7A +10

Obviously, a defenceman's plus/minus is affected by how well the goalie behind him (and the backchecking or lack of by the forwards, of course) is playing. We all know about Roberto Luongo's struggles but Chicago's rotating set of goalies (Nikolai Khabibulin in '09, Antti Niemi in '10 and now Corey Crawford in '11) prove that it's not about the big money goalies when it comes to playoff success. Over the same sets of Games 4 through 6 in '09 and '10 and Games 4 and 5 in '11 here are the save percentages:

Roberto Luongo .849 225 shots faced
Corey Schneider .905 21 shots faced

Chicago goalies .917 216 shots faced

On average Chicago has outshot Vancouver over those particular eight games by three shots a game. So it's not like the Canucks are not getting an equal share of chances, but look at the offensive output in these key latter Games 4 through 6 by the forwards who have been the core players the past three seasons.

Daniel Sedin 3G 2A -6
Henrik Sedin 1G 5A -9
Alexandre Burrows 1G 3A -3
Ryan Kesler 1G 1A -3
Mason Raymond 1G 1A -2
Mikael Samuelsson 2G 1A -5

Jonathan Toews 4G 4A +3
Patrick Kane 9G 2A +3
Patrick Sharp 3G 7A +3
Marian Hossa 2G 3A +4
David Bolland 6G 4A +4
Troy Brouwer 1G 1A +3

Obviously, we could throw in Dustin Byfuglien's production to further paint a horrid picture but we're looking at players who have played in all three series so bear with me. Now we all know Burrows and Kesler were harboring injuries in '10 but where have they been both in '09 and '11?
Don't even get me started on the over 30-year-olds in the Twinkies who are proving almost as poor in the clutch in playoffs as Markus Naslund was.

Finally, I hate talking about officiating as the majority of games are played at 5-on-5 and the whole special teams being sooooo important gets overplayed. The trouble is in some series it can be a factor and it looks like it has been in all the Canucks vs. Hawks series.
Over these particular eight games we are looking at, the powerplays for each team are 33 to 28 in Chicago's favor. Basically a half a powerplay edge per game to Chicago over the eight games. Doesn't sound like much but it really is as the Hawks scored 13 times with those man advantages in this specific game sample set. The Canucks have a paltry 7 goals on the powerplay over the same set.

So, as simple as it is to point out, we may as well: Stay out of the box and do better on the powerplay. That may be enough to swing whatever mind-meld control the Hawks have over Luongo (and his as usual slow glove hand) as well as the Canucks' top two lines weak offensive output (we won't even mention their defensive shortcomings again as that'd be piling on).

Can this team execute that simple game plan? That is the Game 6 question come Sunday because having faith in the stars' abilities to raise their collective game is something the past has shown us is not quite worth having faith in.

Deja Vu All Over Again?

2011-04-21T15:12:00.000-07:00

With the Vancouver Canucks getting Bollanded by the tune of 7-2 in Game 4, should the Canuck fan base be worried?

Not really, even if the Canucks should lose Game 5 tonight.
Given there have been only three times in NHL history that a team has come back from 0-3 down to take a seven-game series and that those incidents occurred at least 32 years apart in each case, well, place your bets on Chicago at your own peril.

Yes, the Philadelphia Flyers did it last season over the Boston Bruins, but the odds of the Hawks even tying up this series are . . . Hey, wait, didn't the Blackhawks reel off three straight wins last season after the Canucks went up 2-1 in the series?

Oh, never mind, we're going to a Game 7 I guess. Maybe one of those UVic rabbits can lend me a foot.

OK, Boys, Smooth and Silky Passes

2011-04-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

If any of you caught the excellent Detroit Red Wings vs. Phoenix Coyotes Game 1, you may have caught this ad.
Now we know the real reason behind the Wings' success--soft smooth silky skin (and Don Saleski '70s style haircuts).

Think I'll shine this up with some Dove

Game 1 Deju Vu All Over Again

2011-04-15T13:53:00.000-07:00

Canucks win Game 1! The team dominates! Our third liners (Chris Higgins and Jannik Hansen) come through! Luongo is a potential Conn Smythe winner! The goalposts are our friends!

Sound familiar?

Well, Game 1 in 2010 vs. the Chicago Blackhawks went much the same way. The Vancouver Canucks won 5-1. Michael Grabner and Kyle Wellwood got two of those five goals. They were also outshot 37-25 so Luongo pretty much repeated his Game 1 performance of 2010 in 2011.

Strip this down and it came down to the Canucks getting out of the gate fast, but if they think they can take the Stanley Cup by only playing one excellent period per game, well, good luck with that.
The bottom line is for once Roberto Luongo did what he has supposed to have been doing the past two seasons--stealing games with his goaltending (and friendly goalposts). Given Chicago dominated the last two periods the Canucks are not exactly sitting any prettier than in 2010 or 2009 when they took Game 1s vs. the Hawks.

Worrying is the virtual no-show by the Sedin line which had all of six shots on goal. Yes, they had less ice time, but if the play of Ryan Kesler does not prove once and for all who the real MVP of the team is, then I suggest you return your Volvo to the dealership.

Then apparently there is much ado over how much ice time the Hawks players had especially in comparison to Vancouver's skaters.
Newsflash, hockey fans: When a team is losing, coaches tend to play their top players more. It's not like they weren't fairly fresh going into Game 1 that they couldn't handle it.

The ploy actually worked as the Hawks outshot the Nux 25-20 over the last two periods.
Sure, they didn't score but sometimes Luongo shuts teams out.

Good game all around from an entertainment standpoint but wait till Game 4 before we see where the Canucks stand.

It's Game 4 in both 2009 and 2010 where the Blackhawks took control of both series.
In 2009 Vancouver had a shot at going up 3-1 on Chicago in the series. They took a 1-0 lead and went to the rope-a-dope move (they generated just 15 shots the entire game) only to see Chicago score with less than three minutes left and win it in overtime.
In 2010, Chicago was up 2-1 in the series and Luongo melted down giving up 6 goals on 33 shots in the 7-4 loss before the final meltdown in Game 6 (a 5-1 loss and a trip to the golf course).

A Lameduck President's Trophy

2011-04-06T10:56:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo, the Vancouver Canucks finish first overall!

Thank you, Northwest Division for making this feat possible and after the clinching the Canucks racked up a scary 16 wins and 4 losses vs. the four non-playoff teams in "our" division.

The Detroit Red Wings, on the other hand, could only manage a 10 win 11 loss record up to that point vs. its division. The San Jose Sharks were a tad better at 11 wins and 8 losses vs. their own division through April Fools' Day.

Insert your own counter argument here in either the Wings' or Sharks' odds of finishing first overall, if they were able to feast on arguably the four weakest teams in the Western Conference a la the Canucks did.

Finishing first overall is great, if you want to...lose in the first round. Maybe it's because the pressure is cranked up and especially for newcomers like the Canucks it's hard to handle being top dog. We'll find out.

The record of President's Trophy winners is very sketchy since 2000. Have a look at the highest seeds' glorious records:
'00 St. Louis Blues lost in 1st rd. to the San Jose Sharks
'01 Colorado Avalanche won the Cup
'02 Detroit Red Wings won the Cup
'03 Ottawa Senators went to the semi-finals
'04 Detroit Red Wings lost in the quarter-finals to the Calgary Flames
'06 Detroit Red Wings lost in the first rd. to the Edmonton Oilers
'07 Buffalo Sabres went to the semi-finals
'08 Detroit Red Wings won the Cup
'09 San Jose Sharks lost in 1st rd. to the Anaheim Ducks
'10 Washington Capitals lost in 1st rd. to the Montreal Canadiens

Now the cup is half full people will argue that the Wings (twice) and the Avs all won Cups as President's Trophy holders. That is a good argument, if you have a track record of playoff success. The Avs in the years from its '96 Cup went to three semi-finals and got CuJo-ed by the Oilers in the first rd. over those prior four seasons.
The Wings since their '97 & '98 Cup years subsequently got to the quarter-finals twice and lost in rd. 1 to the Los Angeles Kings (what?) in '01. So their record was indifferent yet they also had plenty of Cup pedigree in that '01/02 Cup year with ten players who hung around since '98. Adding Brett Hull, Luc Robitaille, Chris Chelios, Pavel Datsyuk, Steve Duchesne, Fredrik Olausson and especially Dominik Hasek in the intervening seasons did obviously help in that '02 Cup run.

The Wings after '02 through to their next Cup lost twice in the first rd., went to a quarter-final and got to the semi-finals in '07. Again a bit of a mixed bag of playoff success but we are talking the Red Wings after all. They somehow managed to retool and not let their playoff failings derail their Cup plans. Hence in '08 they won it all and with eight guys still on the roster from the '02 Cup team as well as a returning Chris Osgood.

Where does that leave the Canucks then?
Will they fold like San Jose and Washington did the past two seasons or can they parlay a mediocre playoff resume into a long run to at least the semi-finals a la the Sabres or the Sens did?

The Sens may be the model as prior to its first ever deep playoff run in '03 to the semi-finals, they lost four times in rd. 1 and twice in the quarter-finals. The Canucks have almost as middling a record--a first rd. loss in '05, three times out in the quarter-finals . . . and even twice missing the playoffs in the past six seasons.

Probably the key for the Canucks is similar to the Sens' key--avoid at all cost your nemesis.
In '03 the Sens dodged a huge bullet as the Toronto Maple Leafs (the team that knocked the Sens out of the playoffs in three straight seasons) lost a Game 7 to the Philadelphia Flyers. That cleared the track for the Sens' deep Cup run that fell short in a Game 7 vs. the New Jersey Devils.

Ominously, the Canucks' current doppelganger, the Chicago Blackhawks, lie waiting for Vancouver in the 8th spot. If ever Marc Crawford owed the Canucks a favor, he needs his Stars to come through and snag that last spot and knock Chicago out. The Canucks went 4W-0L vs. the Stars this season. Outscoring the Stars 20-5, by the way, in those four games.

Now we could argue the Hawks are weaker this season with all the changes but they are still the defending Cup champions. They seem to have easily replaced Antti Niemi with Corey Crawford in net, and they have been pretty red hot since the All-Star break. This is not a normal 8th seed.

Having said that some Cup champs (notably the '04 New Jersey Devils, '06 Tampa Bay Lightning. '07 Carolina Hurricanes and '08 Anaheim Ducks) who slump in the season following have flamed out losing in the first rd. or completely missing the playoffs as the Canes did in '07.

So there you have it, either the glass is half full or half empty but really it all comes down to matchups no matter what the Canucks record is. After all the '94 team was 14th overall in the regular season.

I'm A Nice Guy! Retire My Jersey Number!

2010-12-15T11:32:00.000-08:00

I'm sure those of you who live outside the Vancouver Canucks' realm are baffled as to why Markus Naslund got his jersey retired.

Let me explain to you what Vancouver Canuck hockey fans are all about since the late '90s. Think Tarrana Make Belief fans only the West Coast version of such. There has been such little
on-ice success (just two trips to the Finals in 40 seasons) that any player who hangs around long enough, well, they get as overrated as Wendel Clark is in the Centre of the Universe. These are the same fans who think that the current team, without a Norris Trophy level defenceman, is a Stanley Cup contender. Just leave them be in their Luuuuongo world. For the rest of you confused about the Canucks way of doing things, read on.

Almost irregardless of what a Canuck does on the ice, if he's a nice guy, plays most of his career in Vancouver, does charity work in the community and is the captain, odds are he'll get his jersey retired here. To wit, the three retired numbers of Stan Smyl, Trevor Linden and now Markus Naslund. (I would add you could also die suddenly but Wayne Maki's number 11 was unretired so Mark Messier could make a bucketload of dough here . . . so I guess Luc Bourdon is out of luck.)

Stan "the Steamer" Smyl was a honest, workmanlike winger in the '80s who had a terrific junior career going to three Memorial Cups and winning two with the New Westminster Bruins. He was the Canuck captain chipping in 18 points in 17 playoff games on the very lucky (assist to the LA Kings' Miracle on Manchester eliminating the Air Hockey Oilers to clear the track, Eddie Shack) '82 Cup Final run. Upon his retirement he was the Canuck leader in career goals and points (it also helped he played five more seasons as a Canuck than his centerman for most of those seasons, the vastly underrated Thomas Gradin).
Yet he had just three 30-goal seasons and only two point plus per game seasons in a 13-season career that spanned the goal-glut '80s.

Trevor Linden--oh, where do we begin? Another terrific junior star helping the Medicine Hat Tigers to two Memorial Cup titles. He also captained the Canucks to the '94 Final, but it's his nice guy (and the good looks) in the community that wins people's hearts here. It sure isn't his play on the ice that can possibly be the reason he's so beloved as what were people watching from 2001 onwards? Linden is probably the biggest enigma in Canuck history. Weirdly, few people have ever bothered to investigate how a player who looked like the second coming of Cam Neely (well, maybe a slightly lesser version of such) through the first half of his career turned suddenly from age 26 to a player with hands of stone.
Six of his first eight seasons he cracked the 30-goal mark (even in the strike season of '94/5 he was on a 30-goal pace so technically seven out of eight). He had 80 points in 79 Canuck playoff games in that first half of his career. The following 11 seasons he never even hit the 20-goal mark in any season. Forget even looking at his playoff scoring record as a third liner over those seasons. But, boy, he's a great guy in the community. Big kudos for that!

Markus Naslund follows pretty much the same pattern. He, along with a true hockey great in Peter Forsberg, helped Modo to two junior hockey championships in Sweden. In his first nine full seasons in a Canuck uniform, Nazzy three times cracked the 40-goal mark and three-times the 30-goal mark. Many suggested he mailed it in his last two seasons averaging 58 points a season. I'd argue he mailed it in much earlier as he was an incredibly poor playoff performer. Maybe it was his milquetoast style or just his lack of fire, but Naslund had just 33 points in 45 career playoff games with the Canucks. He had two decent playoff years but neither amounted to much as in his time in Vancouver, the team lost in the first round three times and the second round twice (once after holding a 3 games to 1 lead on the Minnesota Wild).

Apparently, Markus also "mentored" the Sedins. Well, maybe that explains the twins taking ages to finally become superstars at age 30 (how old was Sidney Crosby again when he first led the league in points?) and so far that lack of any discernible playoff success mirrors Naslund's career.

Now if you were the most exciting player in Canuck history (and arguably up there as the only player in the '90s who had you on the edge of your seat like Alexander Ovechkin does now) who averaged the most goals and points per game in Canuck history and should have been in the Hockey Hall of Fame by now BUT demanded a trade out of Vancouver...well, you may never get your jersey retired. His nickname alone--the Russian Rocket--is deserving of a banner on its own as one of the coolest in NHL history. What better describes his mad dash rushes up the ice.
Sadly, management and ownership of the Vancouver Canucks hold grudges and act like jilted lovers.

Those of us who are a little more savvy hockey-wise know what Canuck stands head and shoulders above the three amigos whose jersey numbers hang from the rafters of Rogers Arena.

Your honor, I ask you: "Does Markus Naslund have a top ten on You Tube? Do people write songs about the man Sweden dropped from their national team?" I rest my case here and here. Ladies, gentlemen, children, aliens from other planets and small animals, I present the one and only--Pavel Bure.

From Russia With Bags O' Goals

The Fallen King

2010-09-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

Although the Bruce McNall's autobiography came out in 2003, it's been good summer reading especially given the state of the NHL today.

Reading it you're first blown away by how McNall was able to go years on end playing one bank loan off against another; all of this done well before his purchase of the Los Angeles Kings. OK, so he wasn't caught, tried and convicted until even more years passed and he fooled many others but it goes to show just how little the NHL digs into owners' backgrounds. The other owners even ended up making McNall chairman of the board of governors! It was during this time that McNall looked at the NBA as the model to follow which led to a failed attempt to get David Stern to replace Gil Stein before settling on Gary Bettman from the NBA offices.

Anyway, you can read the book (Fun While It Lasted) for yourselves for all the details on not just McNall's NHL life, but some hockey-related nuggets are well worth repeating here. McNall was no hockey neophyte. He was a fan well before he purchased the team and often used to scoop the best seats off scalpers during the days of the Triple Crown Line.

The Wayne Gretzky trade at the time and even later people question exactly how much influence the Wayner had on engineering it. Now it really was something McNall planted in the mind of Edmonton Oilers' owner Peter Pocklington yet Gretzky did meet with McNall a few times well prior to the trade. McNall also openly to #99 himself had told him he wanted to trade for him.

Just prior to the trade going down, McNall told Wayne that if he really rather move to his childhood team, the Detroit Red Wings, the Kings would setp aside and let Wayne go there. That apparently was when Wayne made up his mind to trust McNall would have his interests at stake over the backstabbing that Wayne felt Peter Puck did to Gretzky's reputation.

When McNall and Wayne got together to negotiate a contract, Wayne said, "Just pay me what you think I'm worth." McNall figuring Gretzky was equal to the Los Angeles Lakers' Magic Johnson as far as the local sports market went offered Wayne the same $3 million a year Magic was earning. Wayne considered that too much and eventually McNall asked Wayne to write down a number he was comfortable earning. Wayne wrote down $1 million but McNall ended up making that $2 million a year which made him the highest paid NHLer at the time. McNall also guaranteed from then on that Gretzky would always be the highest paid player in the league so Wayne's contract would increase if another player's new deal was higher than his.

McNall also takes us behind the doors of league meetings with the most hilariously weird factoid to come out of that was Gil Stein's poetry. The NHL commissioner between the reigns of John Zeigler and Gary Bettman, Stein was mainly known as a sort of do-nothing commish. This passage sort of sums up what planet Stein was on:
"At every league meeting he [Stein] rose before the final gavel and recited an epic-length poem that recounted every thing we had accomplished with plenty of humor."

I guess you had to be there or maybe someone has recorded those Homeric poems on their Victorola for posterity.

Hockey-wise Maple Leaf fans recall the whole fuss over Wayne Gretzky high sticking Doug Gilmour in Game 6 of the Western Conference Finals and not getting suspended. What is forgotten in all this are two significant previous incidents. In the '92/93 regular season Gilmour broke Gretzky's right wing linemate Tomas Sandstrom's arm with a slash. Then in Game 1 of the series, Marty McSorley put a well-placed elbow to Gilmour's jaw as retribution. The funny thing is after McNall mentions all this, he doesn't even mention the Game 6 incident between the Wayner and Dougie.

Lastly, when McNall's bail is set by a kind judge at a very low $100,000, ex-Kings' GM (and all-time great Kings goalie) Rogie Vachon posted bail in the form of his vacation home given McNall was so massively cash-poor he couldn't cover the bail amount.

The purchase of the Toronto Argonauts is also great food for the sports fan's plate. Those freaked out by the Buffalo Bills push to get regular seasons games played in T.O. and the possibility of the NFL moving in on the CFL Argos' market should know McNall had a similar idea. His purchase of the Argos was with an eye towards putting an NFL team in Toronto although it was kept very hush hush at the time.

Their signing of the college football star Raghib "the Rocket" Ismail made a big splash but wasn't revealed at the time was a secret arrangement that McNall made with the NFL Raiders' owner Al Davis. McNall figured they'd release Ismail after two years in the CFL looking at him only as a short-term fix to get the Argos into the Grey Cup and boost the value of the team. So the Raiders drafted Ismail realziing they wqere not going to sign him anyway comforatble in the knowledge that McNall would let him jump to the Raiders in two years' time.

Also, Ismail, although a pretty good player at the CFL level was a disaster as a PR guy. He was uncomfortable in front of the media and fans so endorsement deals and promo appearances were few and far between for the supposed star of the Argos.

All in all, the book comes across as a cautionary tale as it does go right into his jail term, years after being convicted on bank fraud charges among other things. From a sports perspective, though, McNall is so upfront about what goes on behind the scenes in not only the sports of hockey and football but also horse racing that this really is a must-read for anyone interested in that side of the business.

Kovalchuk Signs New Pact With The Devils

2010-08-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

With the NHL striking down the historic(-ally stupid?) 17-year contract of famous man of the kilt Ilya Kovalchuk that New Jersey were using to circumvent the salary cap hits, general manager Lou Lemon-jello (no relation to this guy) has solved the problem.

When questioned by the Jersey Shore's Snooki, Lou explained his unique solution: "Since Kovalchuk's hero was the famous '70s Russian hockey star Valery Kharlamov he honors him by wearing the same #17 as the man whose ankle Bobby Clarke massaged in 1972 wore. This is why we decided on a 17-year deal to honor Ilya's honoring of Valery.

"I have since convinced Ilya to change his number to something that will work under the current CBA. We considered lowering it to maybe #15 but that's our new coach John MacLean's old number. Frankly, it would be wrong to involve Johnny in any of this for fear of a Commissioner C. Montgomery Bettman suspending him to start the season via the seldom used guilt by association clause.

To Newark . . . and beyond!

"After talking to our capologist, Ilya has agreed to wear the symbol for infinity rather than the #17. This solves all problems over his contract. Whatever amount we pay him in any given year, division by infinity results simply in an unknown number. That way the Devils take no cap hit at all, and we also can pay him out until infinity. Plus imagine the 'new' jersey sales. It would almost be as good as getting Miroslav Satan to sign with us. "

Next week, Lou Lemon-jello solves the ongoing conflict in Central Africa via his new math.

World Cup Myths...Exploded!

2010-06-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

It's funny how a lot of journalists become even lazier when they report on the World Cup Finals. Then again we all shouldn't be so surprised when they've had six months or so to bone up on the players and still we get BBC match commentators mangling names (it's "Kay-soo-kay" Honda not "Ka-zoo-key" Honda).

Speaking of bones, those of contention are World Cup soccer myths journalists seem intent on perpetrating every four years.

Myth #1
Italy "Always" Start Off Slow

Now, I believe this myth can be traced back to 1982. This is because Italy did start off very slow with three draws in its group stage and barely qualified for the 2nd round by the fingertips of Dino Zoff's hands. The fact that they Paolo Rossi-ed their way to the 1982 title and also shocked the world by knocking off the in-form and magical 1982 Brazil squad cemented this so-called "fact" that Italy starts any World Cup Finals slow. This all follows with reams and reams of cybertext and on-air babbling about how we should all watch out for Italy as they "always" start off slow at these tournaments.

Well, since 1982, Italy has started off four of the seven World Cup Finals campaigns that have followed with a win in its opening game. Their records in these "first" group games is 3W 3D 1L. In its second game of those seven campaigns they have exactly the same record.

So, in simple terms, in those 14 World Cup games they have lost exactly twice since 1982.

Three of those campaigns ('90, '98 & '06) they got 4 or 6 points from their first two matches, topped their group and ended up going to a semi-final ('90), a quarter-final ('98) and won it all ('06).

A better argument about Italy's chances is to look at their top strikers. The 2010 version of Italy really had no world-class striker. When Italy does well they have a striker who can get them that vital goal when needed (Angelo Schiavio and Raimundo Orsi '34, Silvio Piola '38, Luigi Riva '70, Paolo Rossi '82, Toto Schillaci '90, and Roberto Baggio '94). Only in 2006 did they really not have striker of true quality as Luca Toni is, frankly, not going to go down in the annals of Italian soccer as anything other than being tall.

Myth #3
Cameroon Are Africa's Best Shot

This was established in 1990 after they became the first African team to get past the group stage and managed to make it to the quarter-finals before losing to a Gary Lineker-led England.
Since then Cameroon have consistently qualified for the World Cup Finals and only missed out in 2006.
Their record at these four World Cup Finals since that glorious run in 1990 has been:
1W 4D 6L
9 GF 24 GA
Their lone win came in 2002 1-0 vs. the world soccer "powerhouse" of Saudi Arabia.

So, let's just say, Roger Milla might be more right than Samuel Eto'o in his assessment of the Cameroon national team.

Since 1990, Nigeria in '94 and '98 went through to the knockout stages and now Ghana in '06 and '10 have done the same. Let's just put it this way, soccer goes in cycles nation to nation. Just don't expect Cameroon, as cool as their uniforms look, to be the flag bearer of Africa's faint World Cup hopes.

Myth #3
Germans Play Like Robots

Well, if this is how robots play, let's get more robots into the World Cup as at least we'll see goals, come-from-behind wins, huge upsets and controversy. In other words we won't be bored to death by unimaginative and uncreative England.

Call the Germans "ruthlessly efficient" but I'll take the 1970 semi-final extra time thrilling 4-3 loss to Italy (arguably greater than the much ballyhooed 4-1 Brazil win over Italy in the Final) or even the now forgotten (except in Austria) match where the Germans got Krankl-ed 3-2 by their neighbors in 1978.

Every decade sees at least two to three classic matches involving Germany (and don't forget they were only "half a Germany" as West Germany up to 1998!) at the World Cup Finals. In 1982 there was the Soccer Anschluss vs. Austria and the Toni Schumacher Micahel Peca-like hit on Patrick Battiston in yet another wild semi-final. In 1986, for my money, the best World Cup Final ever with a come back from 0-2 down only to lose 3-2 thanks to a magical pass from Diego Maradona to free Jorge Burruchaga for the Argentinian winning goal.

Even in the very poor 1990 Finals, the Germans were the lone bright spot blitzing through their first two matches with 9 GF and 2 GA. The round-of-16 2-1 win over Holland with the spit heard all across Europe was again a match for the ages. Then there was the semi-final that brought Gazza to tears.

Although 1994 would be a failure by German standards they played three thrillers: the Jurgen Klinsmann show in the 3-2 group stage win over South Korea featuring, a 3-2 round-of-16 win over Belgium and the huge Letchkov-ian 2-1 upset of the Germans by Bulgaria in the quarter-finals.

I won't even mention 1998 other than Davor Suker really put the nail in a dull German team that year.

In 2002 goalkeeper Oliver Kahn became a cult hero in both Germany and host nation Japan but other than smoking Saudi Arabia 8-0 the fact that a goalkeeper was their star pretty much sums up the entertainment value of Germany that year.

As hosts in 2006 they impressed in the group stages despite many German fans belief this team was not good enough for prime time. It showed in the knockout stage as they struggled to score. So although making the semi-finals, lost quite as expected lost in extra time 2-1 to Italy.

Basically, the English-language media (meaning the English tabloids) hate the fact that the Germans, of all possible nations, are better at the English national sport (you mean whining about anything and everything isn't their national sport?).

All I know, you watch a German match, since 1982 when England finally returned to the World Cup Finals, and you'll see an average of 2.68 goals per match. You'll fall asleep watching England's attempt to out-Italian teams as their matches average just 1.82 goals per match. I don't know about you but I'll take German robots over the blood and guts thunder of the humans that play for England.

World Cup Tiebreakers Explained

2010-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

As we are well into the last matches in each group the permutations of what results will result in which teams going forward is almost as confusing as the NFL's playoff tiebreakers.

Actually, the World Cup tiebreakers are fairly straightforward.

1st tiebreaker: Cuisine
Just not Gouda-nough

If teams are tied in the standings it goes to cuisine. The country with the better cuisine always advances.

This worked to great effect in 2006 when Argentina and Holland were level with 7 points in their group. Argentina got to top the group as their inexpensive and tasty steaks just narrowly beat out the Edam and Gouda of the Land of the Nethers.

2nd tiebreaker: Music
Hate to say we told you so

If taste buds cannot discern between two national teams, it will go to music. This can be a difficult tiebreaker given the English-speaking world has little, or no knowledge, of Third World music unless Peter Gabriel, David Byrne, Paul Simon and Sting tell us about it.
Often the judges have to revert to traditional musical forms (i.e., tango, Peruvian pan flutes, etc.) to decide on a winner.

In 2002 Sweden and England had to battle it out this way. Now, normally, England would have walked away with this given its New Wave history but, remember, this was 2002. New Wave or punk had long been over. Even the Stone Roses and Oasis were old news by then. Sweden was rising a musical wave of itself in bands like the Hives, Sounds, Caesars and Cardigans to pip England as winners of their group.

3rd tiebreaker: Hotness
The winners--no contest

Once we get to the 3rd tiebreaker it gets much easier to separate the teams. It basically comes down to a selection of women determining how hot the respective players are on each team (this gives the Italians a decisive edge and shows us why they've won 4 World Cups).
If the male soccer player hotness quotients are level, it goes to the dreaded hotness ratings on female supporters (Brazil also uses this to huge advantage hence its 5 World Cups).

4th tiebreaker: Culture
Well, it is the "Whirl" Cup, isn't it?

This is an even tougher category to judge. Judges are often swayed by one odd yet unique aspect of a nation's culture.
In 2002 Turkey advanced to the knockout stages thanks to its whirling dervishes and fez hats over Costa Rica's eco-tourism which the judges felt was a stretch thinking this was more a Costa Rican fluke of geography than culture.

World Cup Previews: June 21

2010-06-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

Battle of B Teams

(Portugal vs. North Korea)
Harro, Cristiano Ronaldo!

Brazilians often derisively refer to Portugal's national team as Brazil's B team. Well, that insult holds up well with Brazil-born Pepe (#15), Deco (#20) and Liedson (#9) on this uninspired Portugal national team in 2010. North Korea's national team you'd expect to be exclusively filled with North Koreans but even they have cast their net across a body of water. Jong Tae-se (#9) and An Yeong-hak (#17) come from "communist" families who escaped to Japan after the Korean War. It's a long story you can read here as to why this politically charged group of families were not booted back to North Korea way back in the '50s and live in the West.

Does the Teacher Have a Nickname?
(Chile vs. Switzerland)

Chile should win this match on nicknames alone. There's backup goalkeeper Miguel "Kryptonite" Pinto (#12), Matias "Matigol" Fernandez (#14), Gary "Pitbull" Medel (#17), Rodrigo "Little Clown" Millar (#20), Jorge "the Magician" Valdivia (#10) and the goal scorer in their first match Jean "Frenchman" Beausejour (#15). Should the Swiss want to get the game under control they should bring defender Ludovik Magnin (#3) off the bench. He's a registered primary school teacher and given the youthful Chileans could put those skills to good use in controlling their forwards.

Colonizers Take On the Colonized
(Spain vs. Honduras)

You'd think the Hondurans would take advantage of that historical connection but not a single member of their squad plays their club soccer in Spain. Of the Honduran national team members playing outside Central America, three members play in the English League, two in Italy and two in China. Spain won't feel too slighted as they know they have the divine on their side in Saint Ilker in goal. Now all they need is the Davids (Villa and Silva) to come through with some goals.

World Cup Previews: June 20

2010-06-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

We Have Liftoff!

(Slovakia vs. Paraguay)

The Soccer Is Out There

Slovakia have an alien playing forward in Martin Jakubko who hails from Saturn--Saturn Moscow Oblast of the Russian League that is. Paraguay counters with the superhero duo of Hulk (defender Carlos Bonet who strangely plays wing for his club team Olimpia in Paraguay) and Bird (forward Edgar Benitez)

All Immigrants Welcome
(Italy vs. New Zealand)
It Does Takes Two To Tango

Italy won two World Cups by stealing top Argentine players and getting them to play for the Italian national team back in the 1930s. Mauro Camoranesi continues in this tradition being born in Buenos Aires. New Zealand, on the other hand, stole an English player in Tommy Smith. He represented England at the youth level having been born in the town (Macclesfield) that 9-foot 7-inch England forward Peter Crouch hails from. Smith did grow up in Auckland so switched allegiance given he no longer wanted to be associated with the most boring team in world soccer--the Land of Eng. Smart move on Smith's part and Camoranesi has not done too bad choosing Italy over Argentina given his 2006 World Cup winner's medal.

He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother
(Brazil vs. Cote d'Ivoire)

For Cote d'Ivorie, you can't tell your Toures without a program. Kolo (#4) is the oldest brother and is a defender with Manchester City. Yaya (#19) is the younger brother and a midfielder with Barcelona. Ibrahim is the one in the stands cheering them on and plays his club soccer in Saudi Arabia.

Now Brazil's defender Luisao, or Big Luis in English, (#14 and whose "real" name is Anderson Luis da Silva) is the the older brother of Alex Silva who did not make the Brazil squad this time around and is not related to Gilberto Silva (#8) who did. Gilberto Silva has no brothers playing pro soccer but he does have an anteater at the London Zoo named after him. Thiago Silva (#15) is also not related to the other Brazilian squad Silvas but he has played in Portugal where Luisao now plays his club football.

World Cup Match Previews: June 19

2010-06-17T17:18:00.000-07:00

The Unusual Suspects

(Holland vs. Japan)

A three-time champion

There is a strong Dutch connection on the Japan squad and it's an imperial one. Scorer of the winning goal in Japan's first match and current top Japanese soccer hottie, Keisuke Honda, was known as Keizer Keisuke during his playing days in Holland with VVV Venlo. Keizer being Dutch for "emperor." No word on whether now playing for CSKA Moscow if he's in line for "czar" status.
The Dutch, though, have their own three-time champion "sexiest babe of the year" Yolanthe Cabau van Kasbergen, who is midfielder Wesley Sneijder's girlfriend.
Hopefully, this is a good omen for a beautiful match.

Centers for Disease Control

(Cameroon vs. Denmark)

African teams supposedly have an advantage as far as being acclimatized to playing on the continent. Don't tell that to Pierre Webo. Four years ago he contracted malaria on a visit to Cameroon.
On the Danish side manager Morten Olsen has come down with a fever heading into this match.

A Fez of The Church

(Ghana vs. Australia)
A match covered in milk chocolate

It's Istanbul not Constantinople! Ghana's #1 in goal is Faruk Gursoy--a naturalized Turkish citizen. Richard Kingson moved to Turkish club Galatasary in 1996 and renamed himself after the club's president Faruk Gursoy and chairman Ergun Gorsay.
Faruk's got nothing, though, on Australian forward Joshua Kennedy. Known as "Jesus" for his ability to walk on water...or maybe it's the long hair, Aussie supporters often shout, "Call your dad, Jesus!" to Josh when the team needs divine intervention.

Match Previews: June 18

2010-06-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

Work And Play Safe
(Slovenia vs. USA)
It's a medical condition, ref!

Slovenian forward Zlatko Dedic lost the tip of his middle finger while go-karting at the start of this soccer season. The US of Eh features a goalkeeper (Tim Howard) with Tourette's syndrome.
Watch for this match to be filled with some interesting hand gestures and inappropriate swearing.

Goalkeeping The Dream Alive
(England vs. Algeria)

Glove, Glove Me Do!

Just in case the Land of Eng need inspiration in net, be assured David "Calamity" James was named the "15th" greatest player in Portsmouth history.
Robert Green (of the Hamburger Helper Mickey Mouse gloves) was the first keeper to be red carded while wearing an England shirt so he has that going for him. And at least he's consistent as seen by this clip.
Lastly, Joe Hart has spent the last three seasons on loan to three different clubs unable to crack through and take the #1 job at Manchester City who actually are paying his salary.
So, looks like you're in good hands, Ingerlund, in goal.

Over in the land of Algeria their choice in net comes down to the guy who had his suspension lifted (Faouzi Chalouchi), the guy who was suspended (Lounès Gaouaoui) or some other guy who actually has never been suspended (Raïs M'Bolhi).

So, to paraphrase, you're also in good hands with the nation state of Algeria.

Schweinsteigering The Former Yugos
(Germany vs. Serbia)

Cultural diversity is what the World Cup is all about. From the melodious sounds of the vuvuzelas to Germany's child labor laws--German keeper Manuel Neuer has been with his club team, Schalke 04, since the age of five.
Look for Serbia to try to out-Crouch the Germans with their (1/2-inch taller than England's Robot Dancer Peter Crouch) skyscraper of a striker in 6' 7 1/2" Nikola Zigic.

Can Anybody Score?

2010-06-15T19:40:00.001-07:00

"Tor" blimey, score with the Germans!

Whether it's the vuvuzelas, the Jabulani soccer ball, the mixed natural grass/artificial turf pitches or the altitude, South Africa seems to be the World Cup Finals where goals go to die.

The last World Cup Finals got off to a similar poor start with 12 "clean sheets" among the first 16 matches. So far in 2010 there have been 11 teams held scoreless.

Only one team (thank you Germany!) has scored more than 2 goals. Only two other teams have scored at least 2 goals (South Korea and Brazil).

In '06 we had scores of 4-2, 4-0, 3-0, 3-1 and 2-2 in the first round of matches.
In '02 we had an 8-0, 3-2, 2-2 and 3-1.
In '98 we got a couple of 3-1 and 2-2 each matches.

If you're not PVRing and skipping straight to second halves of games you really are a glutton for watching paint dry.

Here's hoping Spain and Chile both come out with many barrels a blazin' to save these World Cup Finals from possibly being the worst in the modern era.