Johnny Fernandez

Trade Your Fear for Love

Dr. Lara Fernandez — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 08:54:47 +0000

One of my favorite words in the English language is courage. Just saying it out loud sometimes moves my soul to actually feel more courageous.

The word courage comes from the Old French definition: “cour” means heart and -age means the period or era. So it literally means “time of the heart!

It takes courage to start to believe that Soulmate Love is even possible for you.

It takes courage to open yourself up to love again.

It takes courage to make yourself vulnerable enough to care again.

And it takes courage to work through and consciously release any bitterness, anger, cynicism or doubt toward men (or women, whatever the case may be).

But all of that is necessary to magnetize in YOUR soulmate relationship, once and for all.

I remember being single and in my serial monogamy phase. I experienced fear, doubt and worry (okay, and a lot of anger and bitterness) many times. Sometimes it felt like I was all by myself (even with friends and family around) in the world- and that I’d be that way forever.

There was many a Saturday night at home alone or worse, going out alone. I can’t count how many times I went stag to parties and gatherings. Ugh! It was painful and humbling. Now, looking back, I wouldn’t trade that time for the world… I learned how to gather up my courage and to be resilient- and that has helped me not only magnetize Johnny in divine right timing, but to be successful other areas of my life.

Getting your courage up to love again is not an overnight process, but here’s some ideas to help raise your courage vibration right away:

1. Know that courage does not mean an absence of fear. Courage is the willingness to move forward in the face of your fear, sometimes with knees shaking and your heart pounding.

2. Name your fear. What specifically are you afraid of? Are you afraid you’ll screw it all up again? That he’ll leave? That your heart will get broken again? It’s important to be clear about what exactly your fear is. Sometimes fear shows up in a wariness or even an unwillingness to try to learn more that will help you get closer to love.

3. Ask yourself what the payoff is for being stuck in fear (or doubt, delay, worry) and then ask what price you’ll pay if you stay here.

4. Collect inspiring stories about people who have succeeded despite great odds. Reread them for courage when the going gets tough. Everyone has tough times; successful people have strategies for getting through them.

5. Ask for help. We all need help at one time or another. Get yourself a Love Coach- seek help from someone who’s been in your shoes and who is now with their true love.

6. Take action to move forward in spite of your fears a little bit every day.

“To overcome fear is the greatest adventure of the Mind.”
-Ernest Holmes, spiritual teacher, philosopher and writer

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This is a BFD

Johnny Fernandez — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:34:05 +0000

Happy New Year-Happy New You!

By now you’ve probably read and heard a lot about how to have an amazing new year. Is it possible that you really need to read another one? YES. Why? Not only because this article is different. Very different. But also, because whatever you are wanting to happen in 2012 you very likely wanted to have happen, at least some version of it in 2011. And so this is where we start.

How to have an EPIC 2012 where you attract the love and the life of your dreams (or at least get a heck of a lot closer!)…and enjoy the process! Here are four “rules of the road” going forward into your 2012.

#1: Love is a BFD.
EPIC is “of heroic or impressive proportions” many times we down play how important love is in our lives, and so we miss out of the BFD LOVE really is, and we play to stay safe (=small), and protected, and end up alone.

#2: Relationships don’t just “end”
If you were shocked at the ending of a relationship, you weren’t paying attention…to yourself. Does that mean what the other person did was right? Heck no (but maybe it was). But what that means is that in 2012, if you resolve to have better relationships, that starts with you trusting you. Start by stopping that old story of “it just happened”.

#3: “Help” is not a four letter word.
If you’ve done something stupid in dating. If you’ve been hurt in relationships. If you’ve made poor choices, again and again, blamed it on “love” and are now pissed at the situation you are in. It’s okay. Really. That just means you’re over 30 years old and can now begin really growing up. I don’t know what they did to grow up in generations past, but I’m 46 years old, still growing up, and feel like that’s only been really happening for the last 13 years. Getting HELP makes growing up actually happen. If you could have done it all alone, or with your parents relationship role modeling and expert guidance (don’t laugh), you’d be in a different place (a place I don’t know of and I doubt you do). Lets all get over it and grow up.

#4: Awakening precedes the Breakthrough
We live in, and are a part of an “Instant Gratification Society” - that’s us. You too. You may say “other people” believe in overnight success, instant gratification, and believe in losing weight while you sleep-no exercise involved. Puhleese. I would LOVE some magic beans to help me get into my US Marines Corps fitness level of 25 years ago. And you…what would you like?

Once I allowed myself to awaken to the fact that magic beans aren’t coming and if I want to get in shape I better do something…so I started running. Every day. At 6am. And you know what has changed? Not much, really. It’s not instant. But I feel better, am losing the regret of all the fitness I haven’t done, and am enjoying watching the sun come up along the water as I run back home to the love of my life, Lara, and our wonderful daughter, as my inspirational music pumps in my ears.

So what’s going to be different in 2012? Truthfully, not much. UNLESS you decide that YOU are a BFD, and your love life is a BFD…and you’ll admit that you need to trust yourself more, and begin today…and you grow up and realize help is not a 4 letter word, and know that the awakening precedes the breakthrough.

You could start by getting up at 6am and running. Especially if you haven’t done that for 25 years. Why not now? Why not you?

Here’s to your Epic 2012. May it be a really really BFD.

For your soulmate success,
Johnny

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There should be a new word for dating

Dr. Lara Fernandez — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 12:20:52 +0000

There should be a new word for dating, don’t you think? It’s such a stress-filled word, conjuring up thoughts of cheesy singles bars or creepy online conversations.

For those of you who are dating just for dating’s sake, only for fun – the word may not bug you so much…

But for those of you who are really desiring soulmate love and want to start shifting how you “get out there”, let’s create a new term, shall we?

Here is my suggestion:

“Relationship exploration”

What do you think? Feel free to let me know in the comment section below.

You know, finding your soulmate isn’t like finding your keys. It’s not a one- time event. It’s not a concrete task. Go grocery shopping. Pick up dry cleaning. Find soulmate. Align your chakras. Check.

It’s a mindset. A series of life-affirming decisions. A powerful vibration. It’s a way of committing to YOURSELF in your lifetime— consistently making subtle, yet spectacular choices that allow the floodgates of joy to open into your life.

It’s a way of leaving behind a life that’s familiar, moving past your fear and doubt and your comfort zone…. and forging new paths in your Life.

And it includes “Relationship Exploration” at one point or the other (preferably after you’ve invested time, energy and money on doing the internal exploration of yourself and having released limiting beliefs around relationships).

So, here’s to “Relationship Exploration” and here’s to YOU, ultimately living your best life with your soulmate by your side.

With Love,
Lara

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