10. hit up every DQ in Louisiana
9. stop listenin to Dale when hes drunk, only gets us into trouble
8. Make the mustache as popular as it was for porn stars and cops in the 80s
7. Try to score with my cousin Delilah now that we know she’s adopted
6. fix up my bike Sheila so she quits leakin more gas than my grampa on chili night
5. Bag at least 30 deers, 50 squirrels and 20 boars. But not with my truck or my bike
4. invent 5 new tricks worthy of my trickipedia for the good of future generations
3. drink the same water as Bubba Stewart, it’s workin for him, must be something to it
2. Convince the world that playing MX vs ATV Reflex leads to a serious case of scabies
1. Finally dig my heels in and complete my comeback to off road racin. The world needs a hero like me.

The Boot Banger: Once you get goin at a pretty good clip, let go of the handles with your hands and grab em with your boots. Lean back, stick your arms in the air and scream like hell. Ride until you crash. You always do. Then, and this is really important, get up and ignore the internal bleeding and dance a jig to show everybody that you aint dumb, your just tough as nails. The Johnny recommends a heel-clicker.

Is everyone else hearin all these commersials to do your taxes? itll be a frosty day in hades before i do somethin dumb like that. im tellin the IRS the same thing i told em for the past 15 years, “the checks in the mail.” if they want money they should get it from THQ and MX vs ATV Reflex since theys already takin money outta my pocket by ruinin my comeback chances.

to celebrate the comin of little baby 2010 i had myself a party and made yall a video. its gonna be the year of johnny.

I wanted to send a special holiday Johnny greeting out to all the good folks i love on the old interweb. That aint you Reflex. The rest of you though, Johnny loves you. Merry Christmas.

Check out this little beauty, she helped me win the chainsaw motor derby every year i was in the 5th grade. i know MX vs ATV Reflex has a bunch of vehicles but none of em can compare to this little metal monster.

this guy is the man. that cant be argued. have yourself a laugh, my christmas gift to you.

I dont need to use MX vs ATV Reflex as a way to travel to places ive never been or raced on, american dirt is fine with me and its good enough for my bike sheila so its good enough for all you chuckleheads to.

10. Coaster
9. Archery target
8. Clay pigen
7. butt scratcher
6. coffee table level
5. To prop door open
4. Floor matt in truck ( on second thought it could get stuck under gas pedal so don’t do thAt)
3.Beer pong paddle
2. Fly swatter
1. Regift to folks who you wanna hurt

my friends, it aint a good day for me. try as i might have to stop it from being pushed out on the gen pop MX vs ATV Reflex is being released today. If you truly support me and want to see me performing my tricks such as the Blindfolded Biscuit mixer at fairgrounds and rec centers across this great country of ours, you understand the calamity i’m facin. i wont tell you not to buy a copy for you and your youngins. i just ask that after you buy one you do the right thing and use it as a coaster or a clay pigen. im depressed yall, moonshine therapy time.