Johnny Mercyside

My Winter Wipeout Experience - Part 2

2012-01-23T19:55:00.001Z

Note: This is part 2 of 6. I'm posting one part a day. The total word count exceeds 28,000 words so it's going to be a long read. If you missed part 1 you can read it by clicking here!

So here I was! My audition about to start! 45 seconds that could change my life!

The first 30 seconds were absolutely crap. I said nothing inspirational, nothing interesting, and nothing that made me stand out. What did I say? I basically said that I’d never been abroad and never had the opportunity to do anything wild and crazy like this and I feel that’s why I should have a chance. I gibbered on about my age, my job and my interests – nothing. About 30 seconds into the audition the researcher dressed up as an Egyptian (who Maisie revealed to me was her! Maisie was pretty much given the reins for my episode of Winter Wipeout behind Andy the producer) and she asked “so who do you represent?”

And then I said it. “I’m representing all men with beards, there are not enough bearded men out there and I’m going to represent them.”

I saw a little smile come from the researcher and she extended to a pile of little blue cards. On the table were two sets of cards, red and blue. If you got a red, you were told to go through one door and blue lead to the other. It was proper Matrix stuff but with paper instead of pills. She gave me a little blue card, thanked me and pointed to the door. I slowly walked in that direction, and saw the other three random people at the audition. I went to the door, and one other person, a girl, followed me. The other two audition people went through the other door with a red card. So it was 50/50, two of us failed and two of us succeeded.

I honestly, genuinely felt crap. I felt I blew my chance. I didn’t think I auditioned well and I didn’t say anything interesting until the end, and I felt it was too late by then. I went through the door with the other girl who also had a blue card. On the other side of the door was a bouncer. She was a large lady with brown hair and looked like she was in her forties. She was quite intimidating to look at but I saw her earlier when I walked in and she seemed nice. She took our blue cards and said:

“Thank you for coming but unfortunately you MADE IT THROUGH YOUR AUDITION!”

My heart dropped and me and this girl looked at each other as if to say “are you serious?!” We were then told to go up the stairs where we would find out what happens next. I honestly couldn’t believe it. I had all my eggs in the pessimistic basket and was going to take my coat and go home. But if it wasn’t for my, arguably, unexpected response to who I was representing, I’m convinced I wouldn’t have had the adventure of a lifetime. If Maisie the Egyptian never asked me that question, I never would have mentioned my beard. But then that was it. I knew I was onto something. I knew what I had to do.

The Winter Wipeout beard. The reason I got on TV!

I’m not an athlete. I’m an aspiring journalist who’s overweight. I’m a little unconventional, especially my sense of humour. I’ve always had a beard, since the age of 12 or 13. I had a decent sized beard on my person then, and it got me to the next stage of my audition. I’m not saying I’m boring, but if they wanted someone that stood out, then I knew that my general odd self would be enough of a personality to carry me far, and that my ‘beard’ would have to be my gimmick. The person at that audition and the person you saw on television is me, but with the volume turned to 11 and who talks of beards a lot. I knew I was onto something and I needed to emphasise on this aspect of myself if I wanted to progress.

The second part of the audition took forever. At that point there were about 90 of us, less than a third of the people who started. We had to fill in details similar to that was found in our actual application form. Also included on the form were all the dates of the filming. They were filming from early October until the middle of November. They wanted to know what selection of 8 shows we could take part in, from those dates above. I chose anything but the first two shows as they both clashed with my daughter’s birthday, the 11^th October. The other six shows were fine, as well as the final (the champion of champions show). The 90 or so people were then split into three groups, who then took part in the second part of the audition. My group, once again, was the last group, a recurring theme in my adventures with Winter Wipeout. The second part of the audition took forever to happen for this reason. I was probably cooped upstairs for around two hours, waiting for nothing to happen.

My wife called me not long into these two hours and asked for my progress. When I told her I got through she screamed down the phone in excitement. I told her to calm down as I was still a long way from even thinking of getting on that show. I kept my feet on the ground the whole time. Secretly though I was gaining confidence, as I started to realise that what I was doing was working and I was exactly the oddball the researchers were looking for.

A lot of the people at the audition started making friends with each other. I didn’t really do this, not because I’m antisocial or anything, but purely because I didn’t know what to say, and not many people spoke to me. It’s disappointing as the other nineteen people on my show talk of seeing people they recognise on the other episodes of Winter Wipeout this season. I can only say I vaguely recognise one person, although I’m not entirely sure if it was the same person or not. But still, I was concentrating on what was to come. I still didn’t know what was going to happen. In the email we were told to bring appropriate clothing for doing exercise so I brought some shorts and trainers in a bag.

Finally after around two hours our group were told to go downstairs. Downstairs we gathered in the waiting room that we previously walked through to get to the corridor leading to the gymnasium. Two researchers gathered us there; one of them was Nick, one of the main researchers who I then got to know in Argentina. Nick is a tall, slender man, a very attractive dude to the masses I’m sure, and he’s probably in his mid to late twenties. I can’t remember seeing the other researcher, another guy, again. But Nick was there and talked to us.

Nick basically congratulated us on getting this far and explained a few things. He talked of the health and safety aspect of things again, and some basic details on the trip to Argentina. He explained that this was Winter Wipeout, the spin-off with a wintery theme but that the big red balls were still going to be on the show (which lead to a cheer from everyone). He gave details on what would happen next. What happened next was the physical part of the audition, followed by a final interview with two researchers in front of a camera. Nick told us that if we heard from the team after the audition, we were one step away from going to Argentina. As I said, there was a long way to go; there were 90 people left in this audition, and there were other auditions across the country. I still had work to do.

I got changed into my shorts and trainers before we went into the gymnasium. The curtain was now moved back and the gym was used in its entirety. Towards the left of the gym was what looked like some gym equipment set up to do a course. Before we got to that though someone in the gymnasium put us through a warm up process. This warm up process was quite basic, but as someone who doesn’t do regular exercise, it took a lot out of me! It felt like ten minutes of running around the gymnasium, side stepping, jumping, doing kick-ups and touching the floor with either the left or right hand. As I said it was basic but after a while, man, I was tired. I tried not to show it as much as possible to increase my chances as there was someone filming the whole thing. It really dawned on me how close I could be to appearing in Argentina; the fact that they were filming us doing exercise showed that. After the warm up process finished, we all gathered to the left of the gymnasium, not far from the course that was set up. A small blonde researcher talked to us as a group and explained what was going to happen. Basically we had to do a small interview in front of the camera about why we applied to appear on Total Wipeout, anything interesting about ourselves and at the end, a shout-out. If you’ve not watched Total Wipeout before, a shout-out is basically something that you say at the top of the Wipeout course before you take it on. Mostly shout-outs are cocky, odd or funny, and usually rhyme. I hadn’t thought of a shout-out yet! After the little interview we would do this mini course that was set up.

This course was as basic as can be. The course was so much easier than that warm up, which was odd! The course was basically a walk on a balancing beam to the top of a vault box, you can jump off the vault box in any way you wanted that wasn’t too dangerous (like a somersault or something) onto a soft gym mat, followed by a run through some cones to a flat gym mat where you had to do five press ups. From that mat you had to jump over a pole held by two standards (like a pole vault). The pole was at a very low height and over the pole was another soft mat. That was it. There was no pass or fail for this physical audition; they just wanted to make sure you could run a basic gymnasium course. In the end if you can’t do a basic course like this you had no chance of doing a Wipeout course, even gold medal athletes struggle with the Wipeout courses because they’re so random and have obstacles you must face. So this was a basic fitness test.

I didn’t have much time to mentally digest the course however because the first person they named was me!

I have a basic level of fitness. But doing the Winter Wipeout course is not basic.

I was so shocked that they announced “John Harper!” that I didn’t move. I genuinely thought, and I’m not kidding, that there might have been a second John Harper in the room and they alluded to him. After shaking off the initial shock, I knew I had to do something, to make an impact. So I ran, full pelt, at the person who called my name. She was taken aback by that and retreated slightly. She was a small blond girl, another researcher I think, not that I saw her again after the audition, or in Argentina. She interviewed me. She asked me why I was there and I did an altered phrasing of what I said in the 45 second audition earlier, emphasising that I’m representing all the overweight bearded men out there. It got a few giggles so it was obvious that it was working. She asked me why, and I said there are not enough men out there. I’d like to say that this was in a room with a good 40 people in, and cameras everywhere. She asked me what’s so good about beards, and I said that beards are just awesome, they look good and having one means you’re a man. I just came out with the oddest stuff in honesty, I was on the spot, I knew I had to mention beards and I wanted to stand out, so I came out with these odd answers. But it worked, people liked it! The other potential contestants liked me! After a few more questions she asked me to say my shout out in front of the camera. As I said, I never rehearsed one. So then I said:

“This is for all the overweight bearded men out there – I’m going to show you the way!”

It got a nice cheer from everyone, and then I had to do the mini course. I did the course with no issues. As I said, it was basic, and my basic fitness while isn’t great, the course was perfect for me to show people that I can at least move a little. I walked the balancing beam with no issues, did a star jump off the vault box (I have the moves!), then ran through the cones as fast as I could. Did five press-ups with decent ability (while the other potential contestants counted as I did them) and then jumped over the pole by twisting my body 180 degrees horizontally. I was then finished! I got a decent cheer and got told to wait on the other side of the room. On my own. Then everyone else, one by one, did the course.

I sat there on my own for a few minutes while the second person did their course and interview. I had a good think about what I had done. In all honesty, I was very happy with that performance. It was much stronger than my 45 second audition. I slowly felt more and more confident. Having the other people cheering me on and reacting to my odd interview and decent looking course attempt, it made me feel like I had a chance. I didn’t dare think I could get on Total Wipeout, but I felt at least, that I gave it my all, and I did what I could to get through. Very little else I could have done would have made a difference so, if I didn’t get to appear in front of 4 million people in the UK, it was okay, as I wasn’t right to appear.

A few other potential contestants started to gather around me after a few minutes. I was discretely happy, as some people struggled with their interviews or the course. One girl was really shy and wasn’t speaking very loudly. One guy, who was around a similar size to me from Asian descent, really struggled with the course. I felt good. I had a little concern however, as people’s names were being called to leave the room for the final part of the full audition. My name wasn’t called out first, despite being the first to do the course and interview. I was around fifth or sixth, so it made me think that either they were really considering me, hence the long time to get to me this time round, or, they were REALLY considering the other people before me, and I wasn’t considered. Naturally I found out the answer later, but that was my thought at that time.

We were lead back to the hallway that we queued up earlier, for the initial 60/45 second audition. It was me and a few other people before me, waiting by two interview rooms. We were to get interviewed one more time, but more in depth, and closer to a camera than before. It was a more personal interview, with only one or two researchers. We were once again told to think about what we would say in this interview, before going in the room.

I spoke to some of the other people there, and the female bouncer from earlier was with us, looking after us. We all spoke about how surreal this whole process was and if we would actually make it through. There was a smaller Asian lady, the wife of the Asian male I told you about earlier, who looked decent in both interview and course. The bouncer told her that she hasn’t got anything to worry about, as they were paying a lot of attention to her. She never said anything to me. I don’t know if that Asian lady, or anyone else from my audition for that matter, made it through. In the six episodes (including mine) that I’ve seen, I’ve not seen anyone that I directly recognise.

Slowly we all got our final interview. I went in the room, and I saw Siobhan, one of the main researchers, and Millie, a researcher that I actually got along with well in Argentina afterwards. It was the first time I would speak to Siobhan, little did I know that I’d be emailing her to and forth over the next two months, and then having an hour interview on the phone to her a week before I went to take on the most amazing obstacle course in the world! So the first question that was asked of me was great. Why? Because they asked about my t-shirt! The t-shirt I told you about that would play a discrete role in my going to Argentina! They asked what was on the t-shirt, and I explained that it’s Vivi from Final Fantasy IX, a little black magician that I named my daughter after. They looked odd at me, while I then lifted up my sleeve to show them a tattoo I have of Vivi (the mage) in homage to both the character and my daughter. I explained that I liked the name, and that I thought it would be lovely for a little girl. They gave me looks as if to say “ah, strange but interesting”. A bit like me really.

The rest of that particular interview is a blur. I remember telling them about my journalism and my website being an important part of me, and that I talk about my four main interests on here (as you can see as you’re on it now, games, music, wrestling and football). They liked the idea of wrestling and asked me about it. I explained that I love wrestling, the idea of the show, the acting and the fact that they put their bodies on the line for our entertainment. As I said I can’t remember much of that interview, I just remember the camera being right in my face, and that I was not to look at it but at Millie, who was filming. It was a nice, warm interview, and I felt at ease. They thanked me for coming and lead me out. That was it. I survived the 60/45 second audition by the skin of my teeth, but made a pretty damn good comeback and ended the full audition off very well. I was very very happy. I honestly looked back on that audition with hope, but most satisfyingly, in the know that I did what I can. If it wasn’t enough and it wasn’t to be, I wouldn’t be that gutted. As I said, there were 90 people left in the end, and that was one audition of many that went around the country, and many that were in London in particular. I really didn’t think my dream of going to Argentina and doing a Total Wipeout course would happen. My wife called me as I headed for the London Underground and I reiterated these sentiments.

I went to work the next day and told my work colleagues about my adventure in London. They like me, were hopeful of my inclusion but told me to keep my feet on the ground. They didn’t need to say that to me but I appreciated the advice, because I did. These types of things never go in my favour anyway so I wasn’t expecting. That is, expecting an email to arrive in my mailbox only two or three days later!

The email congratulated me on my audition, and announced that I had made the shortlist! I was in absolute shock. Not only to get shortlisted, but to have gotten the email so quickly. It was then, and only then, that I really started to think how possible this whole thing could be. In the audition, they emphasised on the shortlisting being “one step forward to appearing on Winter Wipeout”. I took their words to mean, “we need to make our 160 person final list, and then sift in any drop outs or contestants that can’t do it”. I don’t know if I was right to take that attitude, but I don’t know how many people they shortlisted. My guess was that if they need 160 people, their shortlisting surely, couldn’t have been more than 250 people right? And that’s a strong chance of appearing on the show if my estimates were close. That was my logic, and that was the logic I went with going forward.

In the email they told me that I needed a medical note from my doctor to clear that I can take part in a course that consisted of running, swimming, being knocked about my large doors, snowpies and bouncing on big red balls. That’s not what it said but that was the gist of it. I also was allowed to get my money back from Endemol for the paying of said certificate. I also had to get Hepatitis A and Tetanus jabs. I had to take my passport, a photocopy of my passport and two outfits. The outfits were the most difficult part. Why? Because I wasn’t allowed to take my Vivi top with me.

They said in the email package that they do not want black and while t-shirts because they want our contestants to stand out in front of the camera. If I wanted to bring a black or white top they’d have to know about it, and make an exception. I emailed Siobhan about my top, and asked her if I could take it. She said that unfortunately I couldn’t, not because of the colour scheme as it was a top that stood out really well, but because of the image of Vivi. Vivi is the property of Square-Enix, who makes the Final Fantasy games, so the BBC would potentially have a copyright issue. That did annoy me slightly. The top had got me so far, and I intended on wearing it in homage to Final Fantasy nerds and my daughter, Vivi. More annoyingly, the top I have wasn’t made by Square-Enix, as it was custom made independently, and purchased online. But, I didn’t want to cause a fuss; I understood their logic and didn’t want to challenge it as I appreciated getting as far as I did in the first place, and didn’t want to hinder that progress.

But it did cause me a problem – what was I going to wear now? We actually, soon sorted that problem out. We decided that if I got officially confirmed to appear on Winter Wipeout, that I’d get a custom made shirt. Now, most custom messages printed on shirts are rubbish and I usually disapprove of them. However, I was exceptionally happy with the end product of my top. The idea and quote on my top came from a discussion I had with my wife, I think I asked her the question spontaneously, “what’s more manly than a beard?”, and she replied with “nothing!”, and we both laughed. I didn’t at the time think that it was anything more than a funny quote as I intended on wearing that Vivi top. But when we remembered the quote a few days later, we decided that it would be awesome if it was printed on a top. We initially wanted to have “What’s more manly than a beard?” on the front and then in big letters on the back, “NOTHING”, but it cost more money to get a top with both sides printed, and as I’ve pointed out earlier in this article. So, when we got thumbs up that I was appearing on the show, we got two red shirts, and when we told the person in the print shop why I was getting these ‘odd’ t-shirts, he gave us a small discount. So the shirt, if you’ve not seen it properly, had this message:

WHAT’S MORE

MANLY THAN

A BEARD?

NOTHING

I was very pleased with the t-shirts. As for the rest of the outfit, well, being someone that doesn’t do much exercise and wears a lot of jeans, I don’t have many pairs of shorts. In fact, I only have one pair of shorts and they were plain black. I had a red t-shirt and I didn’t think the outfit would look that good. Besides, plain black shorts and lots of potential falling into water and mud, I didn’t think it was a good idea. But I did have a pair of swimming shorts! And they were red! I hated my red swimming shorts. They’re typical surfer shorts and I really think I look silly in them. But, combined with my red top and my, erm, red beard, the look was perfect for a silly show like Winter Wipeout. My wife also got me some leg warmers, not because it was cold (it was very hot actually, Argentina in the spring, but the set was made to look cold), but because they were red and looked like large footballer socks, and to cover more of my pasty legs. Because they are pasty. Horrible. Well, you can see how pale I am on the show!

The message on my shirt. It's true.

So that was the outfit sorted, and I got my jabs. I remember the day I got my official confirmation of being on Winter Wipeout. It was the 28^th September. I had to attend a staff meeting at 3pm and turned my mobile phone off, like I always do when I go to meetings. The meeting was just over an hour and I finish at 4:30pm, so I turned my phone on and saw a missed call from an anonymous caller. Sometimes my wife calls me at work and sometimes it comes up anonymous, despite her calling from our landline. I called her and asked her if she called. She said she didn’t, but she had three calls to our house from someone from Winter Wipeout. I didn’t think much of it, I was expecting a call soon as it was said in our email that the team might be in touch to arrange an interview soon. She said for them to call back at 5pm. The chap gave her a number for me to call in the event that he doesn’t call me and I’m ready to chat. My wife kept asking him, are you sure you can’t leave a message with me? What are you calling him about? He refused to answer; he wasn’t rude, but naturally, knowing now what he was going to tell me, he couldn’t tell the news to anyone but the contestant himself. So, I called back at 5pm when I got in, as I was anxious to find out about what he was calling about. It went to answer machine. I left a message telling him I was returning his call. I called again at 5:15pm and it went again to answer machine.

Then at around 5:30pm, he called us. I picked up the phone and it didn’t take long until he said.

“I’ve got some questions for you that I need to ask. First I need to ask, would you like to go to Argentina?”

I paused for a second, not sure if he was announcing that I was an official contestant, or just simply asking if I’d like to go. I asked, “Are you asking me if I want to go to Argentina to appear on Winter Wipeout?” He replied in a way that was a lot more obvious in intention. I looked at my wife and said “I would love to go to Argentina!”, in which he replied “Congratulations John, you’re going to appear on Winter Wipeout!” I thanked him and told him how much I appreciated this amazing opportunity. I’m pretty sure I thanked him more than once, but I was very calm on the phone. I didn’t squeal like a little girl, thankfully that was saved until my actual appearance on the show! He needed my passport number, and I had to get my passport to find it. As I walked to my kitchen, my wife looked at me very excitedly; I just gave her a look that said, “this is so surreal”. That was my actual thoughts at that time. I couldn’t believe, I was actually about to go to do something that in a million years, would ever happen to me. I was about to go to Argentina, a country I’d wanted to visit since I was a young lad. I was about to take part in the Winter Wipeout course, a variation of the Total Wipeout course, one of the hardest looking obstacle courses I’d ever seen. I was to appear on television, on Winter Wipeout, a show that the contestants are made to look absolutely barmy while wearing silly outfits and saying silly things. I’d get to meet Amanda Byram, and see how things are done first hand on the show. I’d get an opportunity to win £10,000. I’d get mocked by Richard Hammond, an awesome presenter on Top Gear, and a silly presenter on Total Wipeout. It was so crazy, so unreal, and I was about to do it all!

I gave the man all my details and he told me that I’d get called for an interview in a few weeks, which will be about an hour long, about my interests, my shoutout, my involvement in the show and the opportunity to ask questions. I got my email officially congratulating me a few days later. It explained that I would be on Episode 6, which was to be prepared from the 29^th October to the 3^rd November. The whole thing would be six days long. I’ll explain how the whole thing took a total of six days later in this article.

First however, I had to get leave from work. I’d like to say, in this entire experience and anything involved in this experience, this was the hardest, the most frustrating and most upsetting thing. You see, my wife and I got married in June, and we took two weeks off. I didn’t even get called for audition at that period, never mind get official confirmation of being on the show. I took two weeks off, which was roughly half my annual leave. I also took another holiday in September, which we had planned the year prior, which took a week out of my annual leave. By the time it was official I was to appear on the show, I had four days of annual leave remaining. Four days were required to take part in the show, because thankfully, it fell on a weekend so it was covered that way. But there was something else; I wanted to go home to North Wales to see my family for Christmas. I hadn’t spent Christmas in Wales for four years, and my daughter Vivi had never spent Christmas there in her life, and she was three now. I didn’t bank on going to appear on a TV show, or go to Argentina. So I wanted to do both, but with four days of leave left I didn’t know what to do.

I asked my manager to consider me taking annual leave for Winter Wipeout, and for me to take four days leave unpaid. I think that was a reasonable request. Apparently not, as I wasn’t considering my fellow colleagues and their leave that they were yet to take. I wasn’t trying to be difficult, and I had previously asked my colleagues if they were planning on taking leave for Christmas, no one had any definite plans to do so. So I was in a bit of a rut, because I wasn’t granted unpaid leave for Christmas. It did however sort itself out as well as possible for everyone involved. I took my last four days leave for this Winter Wipeout course, and I went to Wales with no leave. Thankfully Christmas last year fell on a weekend and that meant I had both Monday and Tuesday off. So I went to North Wales on Christmas Eve, and returned on the Tuesday. It was a very short break, I didn’t do anywhere near as much as I wanted, but it was enough for me to see my family, and more importantly, for Vivi to spend her first Christmas with the Harper’s.

Back to Wipeout, I had to a few more things to wrap everything up. I had to sign a contract that basically said, you’re doing this course, if you hurt yourself we’re not liable, and if you hurt yourself considerably, you’ll get compensation for leave off work, or something like that. I signed it, and returned the copy to them. A few weeks before we left, I had my travel arrangements. I was to leave Portsmouth by train to Heathrow, and then a plane from Heathrow to Madrid, and then another plane from Madrid to Buenos Aires, Argentina. The return journey was the same but in reverse naturally. I got an email later on to tell me to collect my prepaid tickets from my train station. I went to collect them and noticed they were around £80. It still shook me a little, yes it’s only £80, but that’s a lot of money to me and it dawned on me there and then how much money that was involved in this whole thing. The plane tickets were probably over £1000. They were to give us 300 pesos when we were there. And that is multiplied by 20, for each contestant, and then by 9, for the eight sets of contestants and the champions of champions edition. The winners all get £10,000, and there are eight winners, and the champion of champion gets another £10,000. It’s a lot of money, these figures, at least to me it is. Obviously they probably make a lovely juicy profit off the show so it’s peanuts to them. But to me, well, it just blew my mind.

"ME! ANGRY! WANT! FOOD!"

Our financial situation didn’t help in preparation for Argentina either. We had to pay a deposit on the hotel. But you had to pay by credit card, or with $100 American. Not only did we not have that sort of money, but I don’t have a credit card, nor could I get one because of our debt. It was a frustrating snag, one that would have been a problem if it wasn’t for my roommate, another fellow contestant, who trusted me enough and paid for both of us with his credit card. Obviously I didn’t trash the hotel room, so he got the full deposit back. But it was nice of him to trust me so early on, he didn’t have to do that and it was his money on the line in the end. My plan would have been to use a debit card, and that being used abroad would have been a potential problem, but it was the only method I could do. I didn’t want to get $100 American as I didn’t have any use of it afterwards.

I’d like to emphasise that while my performance was atrocious (in my opinion), I did lose a lot of weight. I don’t know how much I lose but it could have been two stone. I did a lot of cycling, over four hours a week, and I tweaked my foods for healthier and less fattening options. I eat a lot – I love my food, and while my diet wasn’t the best, it was a significant difference for when I was losing weight. I cycled to work to save money, not to prepare for Winter Wipeout, but when I passed the audition stage I did change my diet in the potential preparation for the event. I was very happy with my weight loss. I haven’t kept it up since I finished Winter Wipeout though, while I’m terribly overweight I’m not that bothered long term about losing weight. Keeping fit is something different though, and it’s something long term I’d like to think about doing.

Around a week before leaving for Argentina I had my interview. I can’t remember who I was supposed to have my interview with, but it ended up being with Siobhan. Personally I was really happy about this because I’d been emailing her back and forth for weeks and she seemed really nice. I upset her not long into the interview when I asked her if she was at her audition and I struggled to remember her being there! After delving into the back of my brain I remembered her being the cheerleader, who was asking me questions on camera at the end of the audition with Millie.

We spoke on the phone for an hour. It was a really nice discussion. We spoke about Argentina, Winter Wipout, and a lot about me and my life. I was very honest and open about my life. I spoke about us as a family leaving my dad because of the abuse he gave us our entire lives up to that point, I spoke about my website, and my interests in music, football, video games and wrestling. She was interested in my hobby of wrestling, presumably because it’s one that’s a bit odd and flamboyant, as well as a physical activity that’s not overdone on television like football. She wanted to know if I could do some actual wrestling in which I told her I couldn’t, but I could do random wrestling poses, like Hulk Hogan, The Rock and Randy Savage style. We then spoke about my weight loss, which went into a discussion into my tastes in food. If you know me personally, you’ll know that my diet is absolutely dreadful. I told her that it was only January 2010 that I reluctantly eat vegetables and fruit, and therefore my nutrition is tremendously poor. She absolutely loved that, as it’s an oddity I suppose, I love my meat and my potatoes, but hate my veg. The conversation ended after around an hour and it was the last time I was to speak to Siobhan, which was a shame as she was really awesome, I’d have loved to have met her in Argentina, but we had someone else. That being said, the three finalists of our show got Siobhan on the champion of champions edition you’ll see at the end of the series.

And that was pretty much it! Everything was set for me to go to Argentina!

Want to know what the flight was? And my thoughts on meeting the other contestants for the first time? Come back here tomorrow to find out in Part 3 of 6 of My Winter Wipeout Experience!

Haven't seen the show? Click here to view it on BBC iPlayer. I'm in just past the 20 minute mark, but if you have an hour, watch it all because it's really entertaining stuff and my fellow contestants put a hell of a show on!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

My Winter Wipeout Experience - Part 1

2012-01-22T18:12:00.001Z

Note: This is in six parts. I'll post one part a day. The total word count exceeds 28,000 words so it's going to be a long read. Hopefully putting it in six parts will keep you interested!

So erm, if you know me personally by now hopefully you tuned into BBC1 yesterday to see me make a fool out of my self on national television. I appeared on the UK version of Winter Wipeout, a spinoff of the series Total Wipeout. If you’re not familiar with the show, it’s basically an obstacle course with lots of mud and water, and it’s filmed in Argentina. How well or bad did I do? Well I came 19^th out of 20 contestants, pretty disastrous I suppose, and finished in six minutes, twenty five seconds. So therefore I didn’t qualify for the second round, never mind win the £10,000 prize.

The Wipeout Beard.

But as much as it’s a British cliché, I wasn’t there for the winning really, I was there for the taking part. Are you saying would I not have been happy to progress or win any money? Of course I would have, but in honesty, I had one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I met 19 amazing random Brits, I went to Argentina, the first time I’ve left the UK and Ireland, and visited a country I’ve always wanted to go to. I was never a contender to win Winter Wipeout. If you don’t know me personally, I’m overweight, my diet is atrocious, and I very rarely work out. I’m fit enough to do most activities, but I just don’t do them. I lost a stone or two in the preparation of Winter Wipeout; I cycled to and from work on a daily basis - more than four hours a week of cycling, which is not something I did beforehand really. And as I hope you saw, the contestants I went up against were amazing. We had the best average time in the series at that point (I don’t know how Episode 7 or 8 have done, they’ve not been aired yet). So am I annoyed that I got 19^th place? Not really, although I would have liked to take part in the second round and look less embarrassing on telly.

So how did this crazy adventure happen? Well that’s what this six-part article is about. I’m going to explain how the whole thing happened and the amazing adventure I had.

It all began around a year from now actually; January 2010 is a guess of when. I was watching a replay of “101 Ways to Leave a Gameshow”, another spinoff of Total Wipeout, that was ultimately axed. I found out it was axed in Argentina funnily enough, when I spoke to one of the many amazing researchers that were there. “It was too expensive. We had to construct every single way to leave the show, so with a new series comes a new set of exits to construct; it was just too expensive to do a new series.” It’s a damn shame because I actually wanted to apply on that show. I saw a replay of Episode 7, and there was an exit called “The Human Fling”, where the loser of that round was in basically what is easily described as a human catapult. It was literally a seat, with the contestant in, and attached to that seat was the catapult. It’s probably around 15 feet in length and it the catapult flings the losing contestant high into the sky into a large pool of water. I’m not kidding, the poor loser went very far into the water and I was laughing at how amazing it was. I said to my wife (we weren’t married at the time mind), that if I were to leave this gameshow, that’s the way I’d like to go. And then a light bulb went in my head, about ACTUALLY applying to go on it. My wife didn’t take me seriously. I looked online and disappointingly, there was no news on a second series, nor there were any applications to appear on a future show. But the link I found online redirected to an application to appear on Total Wipeout. Now, I did like Total Wipeout, I saw it on the TV many times, and found it quite funny. I didn’t think too much about it at that point. I saw it as a British ripoff of Takeshi’s Castle. I don’t mean that disrespectfully at all, because in the end, it is. The big difference is that Total Wipeout is more polished and also, a lot safer. Takeshi’s Castle looks really dangerous, were as a lot of the props in Total Wipeout are soft objects with force behind them, so it’s a lot less risky. I pondered over applying for Total Wipeout instead, before deciding to just to for it, I mean, what were the chances of me appearing on a gameshow in Argentina, that only just over 1000 lucky Brits had done? I certainly wasn’t expecting anything of it; I saw it as a laugh.

"The Human Fling", this clip on TV urged me to apply and eventually appear on Winter Wipeout.

So I went to work to print off an application form and talked to my colleagues about my ‘crazy’ idea to appear on this show. We all chuckled about it, with a few colleagues looking at my not-so trim figure and thinking I had no chance to win. As I said, I wasn’t there really with the intention to win; it was a laugh, a joke, something that ‘crazy’ John would do. Looking at the application form, I realised how crazy I actually was. There were a lot of questions about safety, and fear of certain things; the fear of heights, water, how you’d rate yourself for athletic ability. Of course there questions like why you want to appear on the show, why you should be picked, and you also had to put a picture of yourself on the form, to show them who you are and why you should be picked.

This was the picture I put in my application form. I'm pretty sure it gave me an edge to reach the auditions. On my shoulders is my daughter, Vivi.

So I filled in the form, quite honestly actually. I mentioned that I’d never been abroad before, which is true if you consider Ireland as a part of the British Isles. In the boxes where you rate your fitness, I was honest enough to say that I didn’t often keep fit, but that I was capable of doing most things, which is true. In terms of fear, I’m not really scared of anything, I’m not bragging or anything, but I’m not. I get nervous surely, but I’m not scared of heights or water or anything else like that. Other things on the form were my hobbies, a brief description of yourself in 50 words or less, and five things that your friends and family describe of you. So I filled in the form as honestly as possible, with a small tint of optimism about me, my life and my physical fitness. If I was completely frank and said I was a lardy, lazy video gamer who has an awful diet why would they consider me? So while I didn’t lie, you have to have an optimistic and positive view on your life, so I added that into my form and sent it off.

I didn’t hear anything until August. In fact, I actually don’t remember even thinking about it. I just sent off the form and probably thought something pessimistic like, “that won’t lead anywhere” or “that was a waste of time writing out that form”. But in August, early August I believe, I received an email from Total Wipeout, asking if I’d like to attend an audition. I had to respond to that email if I was interested. It came completely as a surprise, firstly because it felt like spam, but I naturally remembered applying so long ago. Secondly, because I didn’t expect them to show interest in me because of my honesty about my fitness. And lastly, because it took them so long to respond to me in the first place! August to January, that’s seven months! I actually spoke to other contestants on my episode, and they all applied only a few months before we did the show. I wonder what happened? It could have been possible that I was actually a ‘reject’ from Series 5 of Total Wipeout, but they gave me a chance in Winter Wipeout as they saw my application again. I honestly have no idea, and I wouldn’t know who to ask about the huge delay in my application coming useful.

Anyway, I replied to the email to show my interest in the audition, and they gave me a day and a time. I had to go to London for 9am on a Sunday (I can’t remember which Sunday, it was probably August 7^th or 14^th), at a part of a University in South Kensington. It was not an easy decision to make, believe it or not. Why? Because I’m absolutely skint. I have a lot of debt and having a wife and a child, and a low income job, we don’t have much money. So it was £20 to get a ticket to from Portsmouth to London, and it was £20 we in theory, couldn’t afford. £20 is a lot of money when you have little. £20 can get you a week’s worth of shopping, or some gas and electricity for a week. I spend £22 a week getting to work. Try sacrificing one of those. Luckily I got paid my month’s wages only a week before, and I managed to put enough back to get my train ticket. You also need to remember that even at this stage, it was only an audition. I never even dreamed of actually going to Argentina and doing the Total Wipeout course, it was a hope, not an expectation. So for me to take a risk like this, meant a lot to me and my wife. But I thought, I’d kick myself if I don’t go for it, take this opportunity and see what happens. So we put enough money back to afford a ticket to London.

But that wasn’t the end of the problems oh no! A few days before the audition, I looked at the train times in preparation. The earliest train into South Kensington got me there for 9:45am – I would have been 45 minutes late for my audition! I panicked, especially as I had bought the ticket by then so it was a wasted payment if I didn’t go. Frustratingly, my email told me that ‘they had taken where I live into consideration for my audition time’. The didn’t do much research then as I couldn’t get a train easily enough! To be fair, most people probably would have driven up, but I don’t drive. So I emailed Total Wipeout back and told them of my problem, and if there was any way they could give me another day or time as I didn’t want to waste this opportunity (primarily because of the fact that I had bought my ticket). They sent me a quick reply, and sympathised with my situation and gave me a time slot for the afternoon – 1pm. I was relieved. Getting to South Kensington for 1pm was never going to be an issue so I was set. I told my work colleagues and even my Facebook friends. I never thought it would happen, so I thought, I’m going to tell everyone about this crazy possibility! At that point, Endemol and Total Wipeout never told us not to tell anyone anything, so I made it quite clear what I was doing to a lot of people.

On the email they told me to wear clothing that was appropriate to my personality and applicable for the show. I also had to prepare for my audition. So what was the audition? It was 60 seconds to sell yourself on why you should be on Total Wipeout. At this stage I still didn’t know much about it being Winter Wipeout, the seasonal spin-off of the show. 60 seconds. Sixty. It was harsh and horrible, thinking about yourself and why YOU should appear on TV in front of the nation. In the email they emphasised on personality, and that what you wear and what you say are what they’re interested in. What was I to do? I couldn’t wear some stupid spandex (not that I had any) because that doesn’t fit who I am and what I do. I work in administration in the NHS. Should I wear my work clothes; a plain navy jumper and formal navy trousers? No, that would be silly and bland. I didn’t wear anything fancy, ever. I decided that I’d just turn up as myself and hope for the best. After all, that was what I did in my audition papers, was be myself, and it got me this far.

The last few days before the audition were spent pondering about what I was going to say. I had no idea what I was going to say. I tried really hard to think about my audition but nothing came. I didn’t even practise my audition. Luckily, I’m a decent talker and am relatively confident in my ability to communicate (despite my horrendous Welsh accent and my occasional slurring of my words) so I didn’t feel I needed to practise. Besides, if I wanted it to feel natural I didn’t want to rehearse as it shows when you’re on the spot - put it this way I’m not a good actor. So I’m much better if I talk naturally than if I’m reading from memory or from paper.

Vivi from Final Fantasy IX, the inspiration behind my daughter's name. My striking T-shirt with him on definitely was a plus at the audition.

It was the morning of the audition and I still didn’t know what I was going to say. I chose my ‘outfit’, which was some plain black jeans and a discrete yet important weapon – a top with Vivi on it. Vivi if you didn’t know is a character from Final Fantasy IX, probably my favourite video game of all time. I named my daughter Vivi after this character, not because she reminded me of the little boy in the game (Vivi is male in FF9, but I think it’s a nice name for a girl) but simply because I liked the name. The t-shirt I wore was black and had an outline of the character Vivi in white. It may be a black and white shirt but it was a striking image in a not-so obvious way. On my way to London, I jotted notes down on paper about what I thought I was going to say and why I applied. I applied because I was a fan of the show, and for a laugh, I didn’t expect to get this far! It was odd. So very little actually got onto paper and barely what I wrote actually was said in my ‘audition’.

I arrived at South Kensington station and I knew where I needed to go, according to Google Maps. Applying that in person however wasn’t easy, and I soon got lost. I asked around and had different answers to where the part of the University was. I went up a hill and left of my actual destination, I was going to be late. Luckily I turned round and tried the right way to see a large group of people queuing outside a door. They were dressed in ridiculous costumes – I was in the right place. I looked around me and noticed I was one of the most under-dressed people there. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. Nearly three months later I’d know the answer.

As the queue shifted forwards we had to sign a piece of paper basically saying that whatever happened the BBC and Endemol would own our souls (just kidding, but it was the basic spiel you find in these forms). When the queue actually got into the building I realised I was one of the last people there. The queue behind me was minimal, and the total amount of people ahead of us huge. How many people were at the audition? They estimated over 300. And I was in the knowledge that there was a morning audition as that was my original time, so presumably there were 300 people there. There were also other auditions in London before mine and possibly after. There were also auditions in the North. I don’t know how many people actually got to the audition stage but I’d estimate at least 2000 people got to the audition stage, maybe more. So I’d imagine they’d probably had well over 10,000 people apply to be on the show, maybe much more. For me to get to this stage was amazing, and that was my thought there and then.

So the group of 300 people slowly perched into a large room, where they were then slowly sifted into another corridor. The corridor leads to a gymnasium. It was cut off by a large curtain so that only about a quarter of the gymnasium was used. The queue was slowly turning into a desk, where some people were taking in the applications and passports. Little did I know that these people were the researchers, cameramen and even, the actual producer of the show, Andy Rowe. They were dressed up in random fancy dress, one was a ballerina girl in a tutu, someone was in an Egyptian costume, and Andy was dressed in a tiger suit. They looked as bonkers as most of the other people at the audition. I looked around me and saw some really odd costumes; there were a lot of girls dressed up as bumblebees. That really annoyed me as it’s so unoriginal, but it increased my chances in the end. A lot of guys wore printed t-shirts with nicknames or phrases that they would say if they got that far on the show. There were a lot of capes and superheroes, and there was a guy who tore up half his smart suit and wore half a businessman suit, half cycling gear, presumably to emphasise his hobby and profession. I looked around me and I was easily one of the biggest people there, I’m a pretty big guy, and seeing all of these slim people made me feel like my chances were slim.

I also noticed that I was the only person with a beard. Sure there were people with facial hair; some stubble or a little goatee, but I had a beard. The last time I shaved was the morning of my wedding, June 11^th, so by the start of August my beard was around two months old and was getting pretty big. I never thought about shaving out of pure laziness; I was close to shaving but for some reason I thought against it. I thought having my beard shortened, something I usually do once every month or two, made me look a little more like everyone else. My beard was decent in size and made me stand out even further. For some reason my mind starting thinking about beards. Should I mention that I’m the only properly bearded person at the audition? It was like a light bulb went on in my head. What’s wrong with beards, and having a beard? Is everyone discretely a pogonophobe? I was only teasing the idea; these aren’t my true feelings on people. But this oddity was in the end the basis on which I planned my audition and participation on Winter Wipeout.

At the front of the queue was one of the researchers I assume, although I can’t be sure as I didn’t see him in Argentina, and he looked like Lewis Hamilton, and dressed, like Lewis Hamilton presumably as he knew this observation. It soon became apparent that the people at the auditions will be going through this curtain in fours, and he’d take the next four people and pump them up. He did this by making them jog on the spot or shout random things like “Total Wipeout!” or other even more crazy things.

About two thirds of the people at the audition had already had their sixty seconds to determine their fate. All of a sudden everything went quiet. I don’t know what happened but something occurred on the other side of the curtain. My guess is someone fainted or got injured, but this gave all the researchers a few minutes to compose themselves before continuing with the auditions. After things started to go back to ‘normal’, it was announced that auditions would then be shorter, as people are hesitating and running out of things to do or say. Basically the majority of the people at the auditions sucked, so to get things a bit more interesting and therefore exciting, they announced that the rest of the auditions were going to be 45 seconds long! Fourty-five. It really shook me as I realised that I had even less time to convince them to even consider me for their next series of Wipeout.

I finally approached faux-Hamilton and as I said, there weren’t many people behind me so I was one of the last people at the audition. I and three other randomers did all these random things he did with the other people, shouting random things and doing random jogging movements. What I soon realised was that this really helped. Why? Well it got the blood pumping and made you relax a little. In the end, Total Wipeout is a very silly show with silly contestants falling over in silly ways. It really wouldn’t be good to be so uptight at this stage. So I relaxed a little, before they pushed me into the deep end.

On the other side of the curtain were four tables with four researchers. As I said, the gymnasium was closed off for about a quarter of the place, the other three quarters were used for these auditions, meaning that there was a LARGE hall with nothing in it, but these four tables. Me, I had to run across the entire hall because I was chosen to go towards that table. The other three had less time to run and get stuck into their audition. I ran to this far table where the researcher dressed as an Egyptian sat. I don’t think I saw her again, I don’t think she was in Argentina.

Want to know what my audition actually went like? Come back here tomorrow to find out in Part 2 of 6 of My Winter Wipeout Experience!

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WWE World Champion Knockout Game - Round 6: The Final

2012-01-20T19:28:00.000Z

Hello again and welcome to The Final of my WWE World Champion Knockout Game! The Semi Finals came to an end today. For the last week I've been asking for your votes on who make the best World Champions and I've had tallies going on this site, and two other forums. I can now reveal the results.

The Brogue Kick Bracket vs The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (1) Stone Cold Steve Austin - Stone Cold Steve Austin wins 20 votes to 5.

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket vs The Sweet Chin Music Bracket
(1) The Undertaker vs (2) Shawn Michaels - The Undertaker wins 19 votes to 6.

So we've arrived at our final! And it's The Undertaker vs Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Tale of the Tape

Name: The Undertaker
Nicknames: The Phenom, The Deadman, The American Bad Ass
Years Active in WWE: 1990 - present
Total World Titles: 7
Finishers: Chokeslam, Hell's Gate, The Last Ride, Tombstone Piledriver
Known For: Being undefeated, 19-0, at Wrestlemania. Being associated with Casket matches, Buried Alive matches and the Hell in a Cell.
Match Accolades:
Pro Wrestling Illustrated - Match of the Year in 1998 (against Mankind, Hell in a Cell Match at King of the Ring), 2009 (against Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XXV), 2010 (against Shawn Michaels, Streak vs Career Match at Wrestlemania XXVI)
WWE Slammy Award - Match of the Year in 2009 (against Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XXV)
Wrestling Observer Newsletter - 5 Star Match in 1997 (against Shawn Michaels in a Hell in a Cell match at Badd Blood), Match of the Year in 2009 (against Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania XXV), 2010 (against Shawn Michaels, Streak vs Career Match at Wrestlemania XXVI)
Route to the Final: Round 1 (Beat Kofi Kingston 22-0), Round 2 (Beat Sycho Sid 19-2), Round 3 (Beat Kane 21-1), Round 4 (Beat Edge 16-4), Round 5 (Beat Shawn Michaels 19-6).

Name: Stone Cold Steve Austin
Nicknames: The Texas Rattlesnake, The Toughest Son of a Bitch in the WWE
Years Active in WWE: 1995 - present
Total World Titles: 6
Finisher: Stone Cold Stunner
Known For: In Vince McMahon's words, the most popular and profitable wrestler in WWE history, his Austin 3:16 promo and his highly successful and memorable feud with Vince McMahon himself.
Match Accolades:
Pro Wrestling Illustrated - Match of the Year in 1997 (against Bret Hart, in a Submission Match at Wrestlemania 13)
Wrestling Observer Newsletter - 5 Star Match in 1997 (against Bret Hart, in a Submission Match at Wrestlemania 13)
Route to the Final: Round 1 (Beat John Morrison 22-1), Round 2 (Beat Ric Flair 20-1), Round 3 (Beat Kurt Angle 18-4), Round 4 (Beat Triple H 16-4), Round 5 (Beat The Rock 20-5).

You could make a valid argument that these two are the biggest wrestlers in wrestling history. Who was the best champion? Vote below!

To vote, vote or comment below, or message me on my Facebook page, my Twitter, or email me.

Round 6: The Final

To summarise, to vote, you can list your preferred champion in the poll above. But I can also accept votes elsewhere, you can vote on my Facebook, my Twitter or via email. Votes will be tallied finalised on Friday 27th January. A few days later, I'll post the winner. Happy voting!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Mixtape: Best of WWE PPVs and TV Themes

2012-01-17T19:39:00.002Z

Hello and welcome to another Mixtape entry. Here's the third of three Mixtapes in three days. Missed yesterday's Mixtape? Click here. What about Sunday's? Click here. Your welcome. Yesterday's Mixtape is my favourite licensed WWE wrestler entrance themes and Sunday's is my favourite original non-licensed WWE wrestler entrance themes.

Today I celebrate my favourite WWE themes for Pay-Per-Views and television shows. Not only do the WWE usually choose good songs for their wrestlers they choose good songs to go with their PPVs and their two major television shows, Raw and Smackdown!. They're not as consistent with these as they are with their entrance themes, but there have been some great tracks to go with certain WWE events and I'm going to share with you my favourites.

Not familiar with my Mixtapes? Here are the rules.

A Mixtape is a playlist of a certain genre, band or era. The list is generally 80 minutes long, the same length of a blank CD, with further recommendations if some of the songs aren't to your taste. Remember kids, downloading is wrong!

So here are my favourite WWE Pay-Per-View and television themes! Enjoy!

Propane Nightmares - Pendulum (Cyber Sunday 2008)
Tick Tick Boom - The Hives (Survivor Series 2007)
Fast Fuse - Kasabian (Cyber Sunday 2007)
Let it Rock - Kevin Rudolf (Royal Rumble 2009)
Written in the Stars - Tinie Tempah (Wrestlemania XXVII 2011)
Highway to Hell - AC/DC (SummerSlam 1998)
I Don't Wanna Stop - Ozzy Osbourne (Judgement Day 2007)
Know Your Enemy - Green Day (WWE Smackdown 2010 - present)
Bring Me to Life - Evanescence (No Way Out 2003)
Ladies and Gentlemen - Saliva (Wrestlemania 23 2007)
Let it Roll - Divide the Day (WWE Smackdown 2009 - 2010)
Crack Addict - Limp Bizkit (Wrestlemania XIX 2003)
…To Be Loved - Papa Roach (WWE Raw 2006 - 2009)
Twisted Transistor - KoRn (Taboo Tuesday 2005)
Stricken - Disturbed (New Year's Revolution 2006)
Feel So Numb - Rob Zombie (No Way Out 2002)
St. Anger - Metallica (SummerSlam 2003)
Across the Nation - The Union Underground (WWE Raw 2002 - 2006)
The Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson (WWE Smackdown 2001 - 2003)
Bodies - Drowning Pool (SummerSlam 2001)

Don't like some of these? Give these five a try...

Burn it to the Ground - Nickelback (WWE Raw 2009 - present)
Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd (Armageddon 2000)
Summertime Blues - Rush (SummerSlam 2004)
Crossing Borders - Rey Mysterio (No Way Out 2004)
All Summer Long - Kid Rock (Backlash 2008)

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed this list. I don't just do wrestling mixtapes, check out the "Music" tab above for other Mixtapes I've made. Do you want to suggest me some other Mixtapes to do? Comment below with some suggestions. That's it from me today, have a good night.

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Mixtape: Best of WWE Wrestler Entrance Themes (Licenced)

2012-01-16T18:34:00.002Z

Hello and welcome to another Mixtape entry. Here's the second of three Mixtapes in three days. Missed yesterday's Mixtape? Click here. In that I celebrate my favourite non-licensed WWE wrestler entrance themes.

Naturally that means today I move onto my favourite licensed themes. Licensed themes are an ever increasing thing in the WWE lately, as it pulls bands that fans might be familiar with, while the music quality is (usually) better too, although you could argue that the non-licensed themes are usually more memorable.

Not familiar with my Mixtapes? Here are the rules.

Basic Thuganomics - John Cena (John Cena)
Here Comes the Money - Naughty by Nature (Shane McMahon)
American Bad Ass - Kid Rock (The Undertaker)
Get On Your Knees - Age Against the Machine (Jack Swagger)
Voodoo Child (Slight Return) - The Jimi Hendrix Experience (Hulk Hogan)
Ain't No Make Believe - Stonefree Experience (John Morrison)
Broken Dreams - Shaman's Harvest (Drew McIntyre)
One of a Kind - Breaking Point (Rob Van Dam)
Burn in My Light - Mercy Drive (Randy Orton)
I Walk Alone - Saliva (Batista)
Live for the Moment - Monster Magnet (Matt Hardy)
Whatever - Our Lady Peace (Chris Benoit)
Slow Chemical - Finger Eleven (Kane)
Never Gonna Stop - Rob Zombie (Edge)
Glass Shatters - Disturbed (Stone Cold Steve Austin)
Bombshell - Powerman 5000 (Dudley Boyz)
Enter Sandman - Metallica (The Sandman)
The Game - Motorhead (Triple H)
Cult of Personality - Living Colour (CM Punk)

Don't like some of these? Give these five a try...

I Came to Play - Downstait (The Miz)
No More Words - Endeverafter (Jeff Hardy)
Booyaka 619 - P.O.D. (Rey Mysterio)
I'm Comin' - Silkk the Shocker (Montel Vontavious Porter)
Crank the Walls Down - Maylene and the Sons of Disaster (JeriShow)

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed this list. I'll be back tomorrow then, with my favourite PPV and TV programme themes. That's it from me today, have a good night.

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Mixtape: Best of WWE Wrestler Entrance Themes (Non-Licenced)

2012-01-15T12:50:00.002Z

Hello and welcome to another Mixtape entry. In fact, you know what, I'm feeling generous. How about I give you three in three days! Your welcome!

I'm going to pay tribute to a very important aspect of that odd and 'fake' sport called wrestling. Music is so important. When a wrestler comes out to make an impact his music helps him do what he has to do. Think about all your favourite wrestlers. How about Stone Cold Steve Austin, when you hear that glass smashing and that hard rock guitar, you know he's going to come out and kick ass. How about when you hear The Undertaker's gongs? Music is incredibly important, and it helps if the songs are good to listen to as well!

So here's how we're going to do this. Below are my favourite 'non-licensed' WWE entrance themes. Tomorrow I'll post my favourite licensed themes. Licensed themes are an ever increasing thing in the WWE lately, as it pulls bands that fans might be familiar with, while the music quality is (usually) better too. And on Tuesday? Well I'll post my favourite Pay-Per-View themes. That's a bonus. I'm doing a bonus Mixtape because I had planned on doing these last week but I had some personal matters to attend.

Not familiar with my Mixtapes? Here are the rules.

By the way, I'm not saying these are the 'best', but they are my favourites. Also, Brodus Clay gets into this Mixtape straight away after his amazing re-debut.

So here are my favourite non-licensed WWE wrestler entrance themes! Enjoy!

Are You Ready (D-Generation X)
Wreck (Mick Foley)
Know Your Role (The Rock)
Shooter (Chris Benoit)
Ass Man (Billy Gunn)
619 (Rey Mysterio)
Big (Big Show)
Rockhouse (The nWo)
Medal (Kurt Angle)
I Lie, I Cheat, I Steal (Eddie Guerrero)
New Foundation (The Hart Dynasty)
Somebody Call My Mama (Brodus Clay)
I'm Back (Eric Bischoff)
Written in My Face (Sheamus)
Axeman (Evan Bourne)
Turn it Up (Scotty 2 Hotty)
Loaded (The Hardy Boyz)
Break the Walls Down (Chris Jericho)
If You Dare (Tazz)
Next Big Thing (Brock Lesnar)
No Chance In Hell (Vince McMahon)
It's All About the Money (Ted DiBiase)
Monster (Batista)
At Last (Christian)
Burned (Kane)
You're Gonna Pay (The Undertaker)
Sexy Boy (Shawn Michaels)
I Won't Do What You Tell Me (Stone Cold Steve Austin)

Don't like some of these? Give these five a try...

Protection (APA)
Mack Militant (Theodore Long)
You Look Fly Today (Too Cool)
Reality (The Miz)
Rap Sheet (Booker T)

And that's it! I hope you enjoyed this list. I'll be back tomorrow then, with the licensed artist entrance themes, and then on Tuesday with my favourite PPV themes. That's it from me today, have a good one.

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

WWE World Champion Knockout Game - Round 5: The Semi Finals

2012-01-13T18:23:00.000Z

Hello again and welcome back to my WWE World Champion Knockout Game. The Quarter Finals came to an end today. For the last week I've been asking for your votes on who make the best World Champions and I've had tallies going on this site, and two other forums. I can now reveal the results.

The Pedigree Bracket vs The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) Triple H vs (1) Stone Cold Steve Austin - Stone Cold Steve Austin wins 16 votes to 4.

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket vs The Codebreaker Bracket
(2) Chris Jericho vs (2) Shawn Michaels - Shawn Michaels wins 13 votes to 7.

The Jackhammer Bracket vs The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket

(1) Edge vs (1) The Undertaker - The Undertaker wins 16 votes to 4.

The Brogue Kick Bracket vs The Chokeslam Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (2) CM Punk - The Rock wins 13 votes to 7.

Here we are then at the Semi Finals. I've paired the four out like I explained in the Round 1 post as you can see below:

Just a reminder, that picture above is who is pairing off against who, the bracket number they have and the total amount of titles they have won.

To vote, vote or comment below, or message me on my Facebook page, my Twitter, or email me.

Four wrestlers left. You could make a valid argument that these are the biggest wrestlers in wrestling history. Certainly in the nineties, that's for sure. Now that mumbo jumbo is out of the way, here's The Semi Finals! Round 6, the Final, will be posted on Friday 20th January.

Round 5: The Semi Finals

The Brogue Kick Bracket vs The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket
(1) The Rock vs (1) Stone Cold Steve Austin

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket vs The Sweet Chin Music Bracket
(1) The Undertaker vs (2) Shawn Michaels

To summarise, to vote, you can list your preferred champions in the polls above. But I can also accept votes elsewhere, you can vote on my Facebook, my Twitter or via email. Votes will be tallied and Round 6, The Final will be posted on Friday 20th January. Happy voting!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Live Thoughts: Manchester City vs Liverpool (Carling Cup)

2012-01-11T19:43:00.002Z

I covered this match live. Here are my unedited thoughts when Liverpool took on Manchester City in the Carling Cup semi final.

Hey there and welcome to another Live Thoughts post. I haven't been writing much recently because I have a lot going on in my personal life. I have a lot planned but my time to get things done has decreased a lot. I also have Skyrim now and naturally I'm erm, addicted. Anyways this is a very important match and a win or a draw tonight will make the game very exciting when we take City back to Anfield.

If you're new to following Liverpool this is probably a great feeling for you. However if you're a long term Kopite, you'll know this feeling very well. It's a nice feeling. Dare I say it, a nostalgic feeling. This Carling Cup semi final, over two legs, is exactly the type of game Liverpool want to be part of week in, week out again. It's like the old Champions League classics we had from two years ago to seven years ago. Those were great times, and it's only now that it's not a regular thing at Anfield do we realise how much we miss it. That's why we need to make the most of this Carling Cup semi final. Not that I don't have faith in Liverpool, King Kenny or the owners, but who knows when we will be back in the Champions League. No one knows the answer and while we all hope it's next season, we can't bank on it. So let's make the most of this Carling Cup semi final folks, it'll be a great set of matches, providing we don't get our behinds handed to us anyway!

Here are the teams:

Manchester City: Hart, Richards, Savic, Lescott, Clichy, Barry, de Jong, A Johnson, Milner, Balotelli, Aguero. Subs: Pantilimon, Zabaleta, Kolarov, Onuoha, Hargreaves, Nasri, Dzeko.

Aguero ripped our defence to pieces last week and we need to make sure that doesn't happen again. What Balotelli will turn up today is anyone's guess. Dzeko also was dangerous last week and surely will come on later on. This is such a strong attacking line up. We have our work cut out for us tonight and we need to make sure we don't have lapses in concentration like we did last time. It's time for us to show the reason why our defence was the strongest in the Premier League for the first half of the season.

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Kelly, Downing, Henderson, Gerrard, Spearing, Bellamy, Carroll. Subs: Doni, Enrique, Coates, Kuyt, Carragher, Adam, Shelvey.

It's as strong a line up we can probably offer. Enrique on the bench is interesting, does he have a knock? I didn't hear anything. But Kelly comes on in the left back position in his place, otherwise it's a strong Liverpool line up. Gerrard back in the side is going to make a big difference, and hopefully he'll be THE difference today. We'll see.

1' - My bad, Johnson is playing on the left not Kelly. Both can play both positions well so I don't mind, as long as they're happy.

3' - Great chance for Carroll! He loses Savic and is through on goal but his shot is saved to Joe Hart's feet!

4' - Balotelli makes a run down the right wing and Skrtel times his tackle very well. Excellent tackle.

7' - We're actually quite well at the moment, City are taking their time to influence the game. I hope it doesn't backfire, but we're looking good.

10' - Gerrard takes a nice shot from distance and it was close to going in! I think Hart would have got it anyway!

10' - Another great save from Hart for Carroll! Another corner and Agger WINS US A PENALTY!

12' - GOAL! Gerrard scores from the spot! Too easy. Joe Hart went in the right direction but Gerrard's shot was low and hard to his left. Perfect spot. Fourth goal of the season for Gerrard And we're a goal up away from home!

15' - A decent City attack, Adam Johnson whips in a cross for Balotelli and Reina punches it away, but only in the direction of Aguero who's half volley is poor by his standards.

18' - Carroll takes the ball to the left wing and lacks control to keep it, and Savic intercepts with ease. The City fans cheer sarcastically. At least Carroll is trying!

21' - Spearing has gone down and Charlie Adam has been told to get ready to come on. Not good.

22' - Liverpool Substitution: Jay Spearing walks off gingerly and Adam takes his place. No news on the injury Spearing has at the moment.

23' - It looks like Spearing's hamstring. He walked off better than most people with that injury do. Hopefully it's only a few weeks rather than the usual six for this type of injury.

26' - Gerrard is playing very deep, spraying the ball to the attacking third. He's been doing what Lucas has been doing all season. It'd be awesome when we have Lucas back and Gerrard can go forward more. But for a match of this magnitude, having Gerrard back is important. He can always go forward when we have dominant possession.

28' - Adam and Balotelli collide and it's a free kick for City. Adam appears to be saying something to the Italian and he retaliates. Luckily James Milner is there to stop Balotelli from reacting for too long. I really hope Adam didn't say anything racist because I'm fed up of the controversy at the club.

31' - Possession is 50%/50% at the moment. We've definitely been the better side, although the game has calmed down recently. There hasn't been too many major chances in honesty.

34' - I just realised, Balotelli is captain for City. Really? Okay.

34' - Carroll! Just wide of the post. A very good effort, Kelly crosses from the right and Carroll connects very well, he's not that far into the box but it was a very good effort. I wasn't sure Hart would have got to it.

37' - I'm getting the feeling City might end this half the stronger team. I feel them starting to look dangerous.

38' - Manchester City: Substitution: Balotelli comes off with an ankle injury, and Samir Nasri takes his place.

40' - Downing and Henderson combine well to put City's defence under pressure, it came to nothing but it was good to get a nice few interceptions there. Psychological pressure in football is very important.

42' - Nasri takes a shot and it deflects and a lovely save by Reina! Nasri does something that City have barely done in the past 42 minutes and that's actually take a shot at our goal.

44' - A lovely run by Micah Richards, he nudges Glen Johnson out of the way and goes down the left wing and a brilliant cross to Milner who scuffs the shot terribly! What an awful attempt that was by Milner! Great run by Richards though.

45' - Three minutes of added time.

45+2' - Adam Johnson wins a free kick right outside the box just before half time. Last kick of the match I'd say.

45+3' - Johnson takes the free kick and it curled very nicely, but it was thankfully, ultimately, over the bar. Half time.

This has been a good half for us so far. Defensively we've looked pretty solid and we got the penalty early on. But it's early days, we need to keep tight in the back and go forward when we can. Now that we have a goal advantage we have something to defend. We need to keep this very strong side at bay, and we have so far. 45 minutes of hard work for Liverpool, and hopefully, even harder work for City.

48' - One thing I've noticed today is that we're not giving them much space on the wings to cross the ball. Two of our goals last week were conceded from good delivery from corners and the wider areas. It's good.

51' - No major danger at the moment but once again you are getting the feeling City might start to take the game to us soon. I certainly hope not of course, and that we start to hopefully put them under more pressure. It'd be a brilliant result if we score a second and don't concede.

53' - Aguero gets through our defence for the first time in the match but Skrtel recovers and City earn a corner.

54' - The game has really up a gear the past few minutes, both sides are going for it. The first half for the most part was quite a bland affair for the unbiased fan.

55' - Kelly struggles a little and passes back to Reina but Aguero intercepts and is on his own! He takes on Reina on the right hand side of the penalty box but thankfully shoots over. That was very poor from Kelly, thankfully it was dealt with enough by Reina.

58' - RICHARDS! Excellent save by Reina! Richards gets a clean header from the corner and Reina saves low to his body. Brilliant stop, a stop thoroughly redeeming from his mishap last week.

59' - Liverpool Substitution: Jose Enrique comes on for Stuart Downing. A tactical decision obviously, it's welcome by me.

62' - They show Vincent Kompany on screen, they've definitely missed him today. Kompany was absolutely amazing against us last week, it was welcome news that he was suspended as a biased Liverpool fan.

64' - A cross comes in from the right hand side and Johnson at short range chests it down for Reina. It was a bit nervy but ultimately a great defensive movement.

65' - A City attack ends with Aguero taking on three Red defenders and turning them inside out, but the shot was tame and saved by Reina comfortably.

65' - Manchester City Substitution: Adam Johnson, who's not had the best of games, comes off for Edin Dzeko.

68' - I just want to say, we've defended absolutely brilliantly for the past 68 minutes. Very little has come past us and what has, Reina has dealt with or the shot was poor. It's been a fantastic display from the Pool so far. 22 minutes to go.

71' - Manchester City Substitution: Nigel De Jong comes off and Aleksandar Kolarov comes on. De Jong is another player who's been sub par today, in fact, I'd say most of the City players have been. It's good for us obviously.

72' - All the City subs have been used by the way. We have one left.

75' - Well the game hasn't been the best to watch but as long as we win does it matter? The quality of matches go out the window when you win the big ones.

77' - Ball possession for the second half is now 65%/35% in City's favour. You wouldn't think it based on the fact that they've barely threatened all match.

79' - Liverpool Substitution: Craig Bellamy comes off for Jamie Carragher. Another defensive move that I'm in favour for. Bellamy has been surprisingly quiet today. Carroll has been more effective which is saying something.

81' - City are trying to put some pressure on us but we're defending very well. A tame Milner shot is deflected and goes for a goal kick.

84' - I just can't believe how crap City have been today. Sorry. I'm just being frank. I just hope they don't prove me wrong now of course.

85' - Samir Nasri gets a yellow card for getting in Carra's face. Carra's usually the heated type of player but he kept his cool with considerable ease in that situation.

88' - Liverpool fans start up "You'll Never Walk Alone". It must be the end of a Liverpool win surely? I hope so.

90' - Three minutes of added time.

90' - AGUERO! Just over the bar! A free kick from the left and Aguero connects perfectly, but it's just over the bar. Relief!

90+3' - Full time!

Well it wasn't the best match you'll see all season and we won by 1 goal but WOO! We're hopefully one step closer to a cup final! An away win in the Carling Cup doesn't guarantee anything but it's definitely going to make the match easier at Anfield. I really want us to win this cup. Yes it's the Carling Cup. Yes it's not the Premier League. But we'll take any trophy and then move on from there I'd say. And a win against City at their stadium is a great result, especially as they beat us 3-0 last week.

My man of the match? Glen Johnson actually. He was defensively sound today, and while I haven't really mentioned him much he did a job at left back and crunched into a lot of tackles, disrupting the play considerably. Everyone goes on about his attacking ability from the back but today he proved he can defend well. All the defence was great today, Skrtel had a very good game too and Reina made some good saves. It was a professional performance.

City were awful. The leaders of the Premier League should have done much better today. They barely turned up. I think it was an off day, I'm sure they'll be more than ready when they come to Anfield. The game at Anfield will be difficult, but I'm sure the Kop will be rocking, because as I said, it's like a Champions League fixture of old. We'll be ready.

That's it from me today, have a good night!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Inactivity

2012-01-09T18:42:00.002Z

Hey there, I just wanted to put something up on my site saying I'm not going to post anything until Wednesday now. I've had a lot of personal issues that needed and resolving and had intended on putting up my WWE Music Mixtapes yesterday and today but it's not been possible.

I'll be back on Wednesday to cover the match between Liverpool and Manchester City in the Carling Cup semi finals. On Friday I'll put up the next round of the WWE World Championsip Knockout Game and then on Sunday I'll then sort out the Mixtapes.

Take care of yourselves and come back here on Wednesday!

Johnny Mercyside.

WWE World Champion Knockout Game - Round 4: The Quarter Finals

2012-01-06T19:02:00.000Z

Hello again and welcome back to my WWE World Champion Knockout Game. Round 3 came to an end today. For the last week I've been asking for your votes on who make the best World Champions and I've had tallies going on this site, and two other forums. I can now reveal the results.

The Pedigree Bracket

(1) Triple H vs (6) Chris Benoit - Triple H wins 18 votes to 4.

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket
(1) John Cena vs (2) Shawn Michaels - Shawn Michaels wins 16 votes to 6.

The Jackhammer Bracket

(1) Edge vs (3) Jeff Hardy - Edge wins 19 votes to 3.

The Brogue Kick Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (2) Bret Hart - The Rock wins 13 votes to 9.

The Chokeslam Bracket

(2) CM Punk vs (4) Booker T - CM Punk wins 20 votes to 2.

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket

(1) The Undertaker (3) Kane - The Undertaker wins 21 votes to 1.

The Codebreaker Bracket

(1) Hulk Hogan vs (2) Chris Jericho - Chris Jericho wins 14 votes to 8.

The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs (2) Kurt Angle - Stone Cold Steve Austin wins 18 votes to 4.

No major shocks in Round 3, some #2 seeds beat #1 seeds but that's about it. And we have a winner for each bracket, 8 wrestlers are left and they will be paired off like this, as explained in the Round 1 post:

Just a reminder, that picture above is who is pairing off against who, the bracket number they have and the total amount of titles they have won.

To vote, vote or comment below, or message me on my Facebook page, my Twitter, or email me.

Now that mumbo jumbo is out of the way, here's The Quarter Finals! Round 5, the Semi Finals, will be posted on Friday 13th January.

Round 4: The Quarter Finals

*Voting Closed*

The Pedigree Bracket vs The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket
(1) Triple H vs (1) Stone Cold Steve Austin

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket vs The Codebreaker Bracket
(2) Chris Jericho vs (2) Shawn Michaels

The Jackhammer Bracket vs The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket
(1) Edge vs (1) The Undertaker

The Brogue Kick Bracket vs The Chokeslam Bracket
(1) The Rock vs (2) CM Punk

*Voting Closed*

To summarise, to vote, you can list your preferred champions in the polls above. But I can also accept votes elsewhere, you can vote on my Facebook, my Twitter or via email. Votes will be tallied and Round 5, The Semi Finals will be posted on Friday 13th January. Happy voting!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Game Review: Final Fantasy XIII

2012-01-05T18:45:00.002Z

Overall, Final Fantasy 13 is a great game with a complex yet rewarding storyline and an awesome battle system.

Final Fantasy XIII was released nearly two years ago here in the UK, in March 2010, and was released on both the Xbox 360 and the Playstation 3. It is naturally, the thirteenth major chapter in the critically and commercially successful Final Fantasy series. The game’s official sequel, Final Fantasy XIII-2, is to be released next month.

Just in case you’re not too familiar with the series, Final Fantasy games have been released since 1987, twenty five years ago, and are a set of RPG games that have for long periods of time become the most influential and widely celebrated role playing games of all time. Many recurring themes in the series are the using of magic and summoning monsters, the use of airships, travelling across a world, characters dealing with love or loss, characters defying the powers of fate, religion or apocalyptic circumstances and the inclusion of chocobos and moogles, two creatures the game series has made popular. The highest point in the series was arguably the release of Final Fantasy VII in 1997, which was released on the Playstation, which was met to universal acclaim and has sold more than any other game in the series, at over 10 million copies and is only second to Gran Turismo on the console. Since then the sales and reception of the Final Fantasy series has changed; some games sold more than others and some games were better received. Final Fantasy XI marks the first online RPG in the series, and was followed up by last year’s release of Final Fantasy XIV.

Final Fantasy XIII follows Final Fantasy XII (that being said, none of the major games are connected officially and are set in their own styles and game universes), which was met with a decent response, with the main criticism coming from the fact that the world was expanded across an immense terrain with in some cases very little linear direction and large amounts of battles followed by short spurts of storyline progression. What did Square-Enix do with Final Fantasy XIII in response to these criticisms?

"He's behind you!" Ah... I love pantomimes.

FF13 (I’ll now abbreviate to numerals) in comparison to FF12 does exactly the opposite in terms of the world terrain and linearity. The game is linear, to the point that you cannot travel back to previous areas at all, nor is there varied places to explore in each area. The game, it feels, almost holds your hand throughout your journey, which is completely different to FF12, a world where you can go to so many areas so early in the game, even if the storylines don’t require you to go there. FF12 and FF13 are complete opposites in terms of how the rails of the story go; FF13 glues your hands to the rail where as FF12 shatters the rail completely.

Moving onto the story, before I explain what the plot is, I’d like to just say that the storyline is very confusing and hard to follow first time round. It doesn’t help when you’ve entered a game in a fantasy world that uses three different terms in fal’Cie, l’Cie and Cie’th all the time and you barely have time to digest the terms and learn their meanings. It confuses the plot from the off and it makes the story hard to follow at times, unless you click straight away, something I personally didn’t do on my first run. The second run through the game was a lot easier mind, and the story on this run was much better to follow.

The story follows the theme of fate, and how these six playable characters are chosen as servants of the fal’Cie, the game’s equivalent of gods, to complete a task (called a ‘focus’) to destroy the world, and how if they fail in their task, they’ll turn into grotesque monsters (‘called Cie’th’). If they succeed and complete their ‘focus’ their fate is potentially just as bad, as they will be granted crystal stasis, for as long as eternity. The name given to these servants is the ‘l’Cie’, and they are capable of using magic, and therefore the general citizens of the land of Cocoon are afraid of them. It’s a harsh fate that is given to these six individuals, and it takes them all on an emotional journey of deciding to give up on their task, to embrace their task, to run away from it and try to shake it off, or try even, defying it. It’s a great storyline once you understand it, one of the best storylines in recent Final Fantasy titles in my opinion, and one I’ve enjoyed more than any storyline since FF9.

These six characters naturally all have different personalities and views on their situation. The main protagonist is Lightning, who’s sister Serah became a ‘l’Cie’ before the game begins, and at the start of the game turns into crystal stasis, having completing a focus that is unknown in task. Lightning, an ex-soldier, is seen as a very harsh character whose upbringing makes her take a bold and frank approach to these dire circumstances and often has the party she accompanies upset. Serah’s boyfriend, Snow, also is a main character, and only met Lightning days before the game starts and had a frosty reception from the ex-soldier, which leads to Snow often, get the brunt of Lightning’s frustrations. Snow himself, sees himself as a hero of Cocoon and uses his large stature and loud voice to carry him through his troubles of losing his girlfriend to crystal stasis and his refusal to accept his focus of destroying his home land. In an attack at the beginning of the game, Snow attempts to save a load of prisoned victims and the death of one particular person has significance to the plot. That is because it’s the mother of Hope that dies, who’s another main character. Hope has had a normal life on Cocoon and lives a life where Cocoon’s political pressures brainwash most of the citizens, especially when it comes to ‘l’Cie’ being hostile and basically, evil, so the despair that Hope goes through not only to accidentally become what he was thought to as evil, but to have to live with knowing who was arguably responsible for his mother’s death in Snow, leads to an interesting extension of the story.

The other three characters also have great story arcs; Sazh is a father whose son had also become a ‘l’Cie’ prior to the game’s beginning and has other issues too, but deals with them with a heavy heart but a happy smile. Sazh is an excellent character, definitely my favourite, and is probably the funniest character in the game. Fang is as forceful as Lightning is, yet shows a softer side to her much more often than the main protagonist does. She will do anything and everything she can to protect Vanille, who come from the same location in game and have a history together. Vanille is the hit-or-miss character of the game; she’s cute and bubbly and has all the traits of similar characters in Rikku of FF10 and Selphie of FF8, so you’ll probably either love her or she’ll probably either annoy you immensely. Vanille also operates as narrator of the game, and her significance to the plot is discrete but ultimately vital when the puzzle pieces all align. Without mentioning the main villain by name, the main antagonist in FF13 is absolutely fantastic, a much better villain than Vayne from FF12, and my favourite Final Fantasy villain since Kuja from FF9.

"RUN VANILLE! They're going to asplode!"

The game play has also dramatically changed this time round in comparison to FF12. We once again return to the ATB (Active Time battle) system used in most of the FF titles to date, but it’s a much-changed variation of it. The best way to describe this system is that it’s like the one used in FF10-2 but with much more action involved. So much action in fact, that you only control what is called a ‘party leader’, meaning this is the first Final Fantasy title where you can only control one character in battle, rather than the entire party. A usually very competent AI controls the party in support. Basically you can either use the battle system manually, where you can choose your actions, or you can use the very useful “Autobattle” command, which selects an option to you based on your enemy and any potential weaknesses, or in turn, any healing you may require if you are of the party support systems. But unlike a lot of the old traditional Final Fantasy titles, you have combos. You choose your commands either manually or automatically, and you can build your combo up to do multiple attacks in one go, in turn leading to a more smooth and sophisticated system which also looks good to watch and play. Your combos increase as the game goes on from two to six.

There’s more to add to this battle system. There’s something called a “Paradigm” system, where you can chop and change battle formations with different job titles. There are six different job titles, Commando, which uses mainly physical attacks; Ravager, which uses damage dealing magic, a Medic, which primarily uses healing magic, a Saboteur which weakens and debuffs enemies, a Synergist that buffs allies and the Sentinel who absorbs damage and protects allies. Towards the beginning of the game the characters start to acquire access from one to three of these titles and towards the end the characters can gain access to all six, although the three titles they acquire later can only be strengthened minimally. When the game is complete, you have full access to all six titles and can be strengthened fully. So the “Paradigm” system means you can mix these job titles to work in your favour, for instance if you have three characters you can have a Commando, a Medic and a Synergist; one character physically attacking, one character healing and one character strengthening the party. You can then change to a completely different system with the “Paradigm” system, to a defensive one, for instance having two Medics and a Sentinel gives you a lot of healing power and some defensive cover too. The “Paradigm” system really does battle tactics in a Final Fantasy game in a way that’s never been done before and I think it’s fantastic.

While you have these six job titles, naturally you have to strengthen them and strengthen your characters. This game doesn’t use the traditional levelling up system like most Final Fantasy games do, and instead lets you increase your character’s stats on something called the “Crystarium”. After battles characters earn Crystarium Points, or CP, and you use CP in the Crystarium to activate nodes that give you character abilities or stat enhancements, not too dissimilar to FF10. After certain segments throughout the game, you gain access to another level of the Crystarium, further advancing your characters abilities and stats. So you have the six job titles, if they’re unlocked at that point in the game, that you can increase your characters stats and abilities through, and in turn they make your characters stronger.

Final Fantasy XIII’s graphics are absolutely gorgeous. The motion videos are as great looking as any game on the new generation consoles and the landscapes of Gran Pulse, the other location other than Cocoon, in FF13, are utterly stunning. The characters look good, the enemies look even better and some of the bosses in this game, particularly the ones very significant to the plot later on, look tremendous, particularly the designs main antagonist. The sound in FF13 is as good as the series has always been and while the quality of the soundtracks of recent Final Fantasy games don’t match the amazing tracks of FF7 and FF9 in particular, FF13 does a decent job of getting the mood set for each location and event that occurs. I once again, prefer the soundtrack of FF13 than that of FF12, to compare.

FF13 on the whole is absolutely stunning, particularly Gran Pulse later on.

Now I’m sure you’ve noticed but I’ve compared FF12 and FF13 a lot in this review. There’s a simple reason why – they’re polar opposites of each other. Final Fantasy 12 concentrates a lot on the exploration of the world map, and lots and lots of battles. The story lacks in FF12 and its basic premises is stretched across the incredibly large open maps and battles. FF13 does the opposite. The game is so linear, and the cut scenes and story is to the brim in terms of depth and development. Once you get over the confusion of the storyline you’ll find a great tale to be told here, and while the ending is not as good as other titles in the series, you still get the satisfaction expected from completing a Final Fantasy game. But the linearity of FF13 is a problem. There are a lot of places in FF13 that you go to only once, and never to return. In fact, the game is split into thirteen chapters and you can only revisit the places in chapters 11 to 13. 3 out of 13 chapters are capable of revisiting. That’s pretty poor. And like FF12, there’s very few mini games, if any, in FF13 although there are one or two decent side quests. The game does open up replayability by giving you full access to each character’s Crystarium at the end of the game, for you to continue to develop your characters and take on the biggest and baddest battles in these side quests. And I said, you’ll probably enjoy playing this game a second or third time just because the chances are you’ll appreciate the great story more.

It is for these reasons why overall, FF13 for me is a great improvement on FF12, and my enjoyment of it is probably on par with FF10, although for different reasons. What keeps FF13 together is it’s great storyline and decent set of characters, combined with an ultimately unique battle system. Sure the game is really linear but in the end, you can get over that, especially as the areas that are revisitable are probably the most strikingly good-looking places in the game. Another flaw would be that I don’t like the fact that you only control one character in battle, I like taking a party of characters into a battle and using all of them to beat my enemies. But overall Final Fantasy 13 is a great game, with a complex yet rewarding storyline and a great battle system. If you want my recommendation whether or not to buy or rent it, well, look at the general consensus of what I and most other people have said, and make your decision from there. If you can get over the game’s flaws, you’ll find a brilliant game in FF13, its’ one of the best RPGs in recent years.

Rating: ****1/2 stars

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Live Thoughts: Manchester City vs Liverpool (Premier League)

2012-01-03T19:36:00.002Z

I covered this match live. Here are my unedited thoughts on the Premier League match between Manchester City and Liverpool.

Hey there, thanks for joining me on another live thoughts feed. After a two match break (or 'ban', whatever word you prefer), I'm back. Before I get to the preview, let me talk about Suarez.

Just in case you didn't know, Liverpool are not to appeal against the Suarez ban. They're backing Suarez, are still showing the FA they're unhappy with the situation yet they're accepting of the ban for the good of football and the fight against racism. My thoughts? All in all I think Liverpool have done the right thing. They're standing ground in terms of their beliefs and support yet accepting of the situation, predominantly because everyone has been against their strong support of Suarez because the media are twisting that somehow as 'pro-racism'. It's not. It's pro-Suarez. Big difference. But still, it means we have no Suarez for eight games. No more. No less. I think it was too risky to appeal, because it just felt the FA wanted to make an example of Suarez. That's fine, as long as they show the same stance for every player doing a similar thing. Starting with John Terry of Chelsea. I wrote an article about this a few weeks ago if you're more interested in my thoughts on the Suarez situation, you can read that here. Anyway, like Liverpool, let's all draw a line against this.

Man City! Away from home! Tough match. But with City losing on the weekend, I think it's a good time to play them. Especially as we scored 3 goals against Newcastle, the first time we have scored 3 in the Premier League since August, when we beat Bolton 3-1, the same margin. Let's hope our strikers have their scoring boots on, and the defence can keep their watertight lock on that goal! I feel quite confident today in honesty!

Here are the teams:

Man City: Hart, Clichy, Toure Kolo, Richards, Kompany, Silva, Toure Yaya, Barry, Milner, Aguero, Dzeko. Subs: Pantilimon, Lescot, Zabaleta, Savic, de Jong, Johnson, Kolarov.

It's hard to find a fault in this team. But this is the team we drew earlier this season, and beat last season. In fact, Man City have only lost 1 of the last 13 games against us. But City are very very dangerous now and we need to be careful. I think we can still win though. No Balotelli, but Aguero and the emergence of Dzeko this season makes a strong attacking duo.

Liverpool: Reina, Enrique, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Spearing, Adam, Downing, Henderson, Kuyt, Carroll. Subs: Doni, Gerrard, Maxi, Carragher, Shelvey, Kelly, Bellamy.

Naturally no Suarez now. Bellamy on the bench is surprising though. He's been our best player recently and has scored most of the goals too. It looks like 4-4-2 today, with Carroll and Kuyt up front and Henderson and Downing on the wings. I suppose you can understand, what with us playing away from home, against the benchmark team of the Premier League. Bellamy can always come on later if needed, and Gerrard. Our bench looks pretty good at least.

3' - We're all wearing black armbands in memory of Gary Ablett who passed away a few days ago.

6' - A half chance for Dzeko who hesitated in front of goal. Good for us. Richards was the man who set him up.

7' - DOWNING! Great chance but Hart saves!

8' - Silva goes down the left wing and sets up Dzeko in the Liverpool box, who from a tight angle forces Reina into a save.

10' - GOAL! Aguero. Kuyt concedes the ball and it gets to Aguero who takes a tame shot at goal, and the ball lands under Reina and goes in. That wasn't good from the usually excellent Reina.

12' - I love Reina so much, but he's done a few mistakes this season, more so than usual. But that being said our defence has been pretty solid this season in comparison. I hope this is a little blip because Reina is just brilliant on his day.

13' - A strong City attack with many one-twos ends up with Aguero who tries to chip the ball above Reina, and fails.

15' - A half chance for Liverpool, Kuyt crossed from outside the penalty box on the right and Carroll gets a head to it, and it's over the bar.

17' - @Anonymous - I don't think Reina needs to be sold, I just think he's having a blip. He's one of our most consistent players usually. He's still at a great age and I doubt he's going to slip long term. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt I say.

19' - Some good pressure there from the Reds. It's hard to pinpoint one good moment really, but it was nice to see. We're not out of this by a long stretch.

21' - A shot from Dzeko takes a deflection and Reina attempts to save in shot's direction, and Aguero almost slotted the ball in an empty net but it was travelling too fast. Relief.

22' - Downing has been tripped by Silva just outside the City box. Shame Bellamy isn't on the pitch to take this cross, he's been pretty good with his crosses recently.

23' - Adam takes the free kick and it's dealt with easily by Hart.

24' - Henderson was set up nicely for a shot by Kuyt and it goes wide to Hart's goal. Decent effort though.

26' - We've responded very nicely from the goal we conceded, we're much more dominant now. City have barely threat, bar the deflected shot five minutes ago.

27' - A battle between Aguero and Skrtel and Aguero wins, but the ball once again travels too far and Reina clears.

27' - Adam wins us another free kick in another great position.

28' - Henderson takes it and it hits the wall. Shame, it was an excellent place to win a free kick, central and just outside the box.

30' - Aguero looks for a handball against Skrtel but the replay rejects it. The replays clearly show Skrtel's hand moving away from the ball, he couldn't have done anything about it. Good refereeing decision.

32' - KOMPANY! Great save by Reina from the corner! Lightning reactions from the Spaniard!

32' - GOAL! Yaya Toure scores after another corner. Another header and this one goes in. We're 2-0 down now. Not good.

35' - Downing gets called for a free kick for handball. That wasn't handball either, the ref got this one wrong I'd say.

36' - Steven Gerrard is warming up. Put him in at the start of the second half? I'm not sure.

38' - @Anonymous #2 - Are you a Liverpool fan? I really hope not, Reina has played more than 300 times for this club and doesn't need fans turning on him when he's set numerous clean sheet records and saved many penalties over the years. Show him some respect.

41' - Charlie Adam concedes a free kick after a poor tackle on Dzeko. This is a decent area for City, I really hope we don't concede a third now. Silva takes it and it's gone for a goal kick.

42' - Carroll heads it down to Kuyt who has a decent effort but it's blocked by Kompany at goal-sight and then dealt with.

44' - There's been a few tackles for the past few minutes by both sides that have been pretty poor, tensions are rising I'd say. Gareth Barry goes in the book for the latest one.

45' - One minute of added time.

45+1' - Half time.

Well we conceded a poor goal by Reina. He should have done better than that, but there's no point in hounding Reina, he's been one of the best players for Liverpool in the past 6 and a half years and all players make mistakes. The difference being a goalkeeper's errors are easier to see. The second goal was unavoidable, City were strong in the set pieces and Toure's headed goal was too strong for anyone to deal with. Between the two goals they scored we looked pretty solid, definitely the better side. Are we out of the match? No. We need a quick reaction in the second half and then it's game on. Do we go to the bench and make changes? That's up to King Kenny of course, but my opinion is purely based on the fitness of Bellamy, Gerrard and possibly Maxi. Any of those three can be match winners when on form so if they're fit and raring to go, put on or two on at the start of the second half. We can still get something out of this, but if we concede another I'd say that's the end then.

45' - No substitutes made. That's fine, but it's going to have to be in the next 20 minutes surely, unless we score in that time of course!

48' - A decent cross from Enrique, the first time he's been able to get forward properly, and Kompany heads it for a throw in, stopping Carroll from getting a vital touch.

50' - We've started the second half well, pushing City back as often as we can. No major penetration yet though.

53' - The commentators think we lack pace, it's possible. We do have pace on the bench in Gerrard and Bellamy, that's not a hint I promise!

56' - Double Liverpool Substitution: Steven Gerrard and Craig Bellamy come on for Charlie Adam and Dirk Kuyt, who both haven't had the best of games.

57' - I think Kenny has made a good move putting these two players on. They're both match winners and both scored good and important goals against Newcastle.

60' - We need to score soon, 30 minutes left to go, a goal soon would make take momentum strongly in our favour.

62' - Enrique and Reina have a mixup whether or not who retrieves the travelling ball. It's not good that there was a communication issue at the back.

64' - Aguero has caused a lot of problems for us today. He's a tremendous player. That being said I'd say man of the match so far has to be Vincent Kompany, who's been a rock at the back for City.

66' - Both Milner and Glen Johnson have gone down due to a tackle from the former on the latter.

69' - We're still dominating possession without putting that much pressure on City. I don't think this is going to be our night to be honest. We need a piece of magic from somewhere and fast.

71' - Manchester City Substitution: Sergio Aguero comes off for Adam Johnson. Aguero was excellent today, really getting in between our defenders and just generally causing chaos, not too dissimilar to Suarez.

72' - RED CARD FOR BARRY! Two yellows for Barry, for a tackle on Gerrard. I don't think it was deserving of a yellow that tackle, I think he's unlucky, but it gives us some hope!

73' - PENALTY FOR CITY! Grrrr! The ref gave a penalty as Toure went down when Skrtel was chasing, I'm unsure if that was a penalty! Some possible bad decisions here by the ref.

74' - GOAL! Milner scores the penalty and City are 3-0 up, and have pretty much got the points in the bag.

75' - Manchester City Substitution: David Silva comes off in place of Lescott, a good move for City, who have to defend for 15 minutes, now with 5 defenders.

75' - Liverpool Substitution: Jay Spearing comes off and Maxi Rodriguez comes on. It might be too little too late, but you never know in football.

78' - Another miscommunication from the back! This time it's Skrtel and Reina, Skrtel gave a very short passback and Dzeko almost took advantage. Our back 5 really haven't been very good today.

79' - ADAM JOHNSON! Hit the post! A lovely strike from the young Englishman, Reina was beat! This is definitely a match to forget for us.

81' - GERRARD! Just wide. It was a nice strike, vintage of Gerrard, and it was just passed the post.

84' - Kudos to Liverpool, we're still trying to get another goal despite being three down, but it lead to a counter attack in the end. We don't want to concede a fourth.

85' - Rodriguez! Close. He was in the box and backheels to make space, and shoots just over the bar. More accuracy and it would have been a nice goal.

89' - Bellamy! Saved by Hart and it rolls for a rebound for Rodriguez and another Hart save. Frustrating stuff.

90' - Gout minutes of added time.

90+1' - Vincent Kompany wins man of the match, and it's rightfully deserved. He's been absolutely amazing today. At least it wasn't the goalkeeper this time that did all the heroics, not that Hart has had a bad game either.

90+2' - Downing finds some space in the penalty box and goes for goal, but Hart saves low to his right.

90+4' - Full time.

What to say? Well, simply, this was a Premier League title winning performance for Manchester City. I don't mean they thrashed us or anything. But they had their chances and took them. Over the ninety minutes, we were the better side, the side with possession, the side with the most chances. But important moments in this game cost us. Reina's mistake, followed by a strong City set piece header by Yaya Toure, and then the excellent break by Yaya again for Skrtel to concede the penalty, and then Milner's spot kick. Three important moments, three goals. That's what champions do, that's what United have done for so long. I really think City can win the title, if they keep staying one step ahead.

As for us? Same old Liverpool, loads of chances, zero goals. We need a new striker, it's as simple as that. Bellamy and Kuyt aren't always being used as strikers, so Carroll and Suarez are the only two out and out strikers we have. That needs to change. It's a major priority to get another striker in. Who? For me, dare I say it, but we need someone like Yakubu. Despite being an ex-Blue, I've always been a fan of the Yak. When on form he's fantastic. He's big and strong and really intimidating. He's an up front presence we haven't had at Liverpool since the days of in prime Emile Heskey. We need that time of presence. But as long as we get a clinical finisher, another good quality striker, I don't mind who we get. That's up to the owners and Kenny. Anyway, thank you for reading my live thoughts, it's been a pleasure, have a good night.

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1994 in Music Review

2012-01-01T15:23:00.003Z

Hello, and very Happy New Year to you all! Welcome to the sixth edition in a series of reviews of a year in music. So far I have covered all the 2000s together as the Noughtie series, and so far monthly, the year 1999, then 1998, followed by 1997 and 1996 and then last month, 1995.

Just in case you’re not familiar with it, here’s the format. It will be done in five parts. I'll do a brief history of what happened in that year, followed by my five favourite albums of the year, then what I think the five best videos are. I'll then do a Top 10 most impactful (still refraining from using the word important) songs from that year. To wrap it up, I'll do my favourite songs in a mixtape format. So now that you know where I'm going with this, let's get to it!

We’re half way through the decade now. 1995 was a great year for albums, but I think 1994 will be even better. Let’s see if I’m right.

Brief History of the Year 1994 in Music

Kurt Cobain, lead singer of Nirvana, commits suicide. The band disbands shortly after.
Rammstein form, becoming one of industrial metal's finest acts.
Green Day release "Dookie" and are arguably responsible for the punk rock revival of the mid nineties.
After many other names, Muse is the name three young English boys decide to call their band. Five years later their debut was released, starting a very successful music career.
Oasis release "Definitely Maybe", at the time becoming the quickest selling debut album of all time.
System of a Down also start their career, becoming one of metal's biggest bands of the Noughties.

My Top 5 Albums of 1994

#5 – “No Need to Argue” by The Cranberries

Released: 3/10/94

Rating: **** stars

Stand-out tracks: “Dreaming My Dreams”, “Ode to My Family”, “Daffodil Lament”

In the 1996 review The Cranberries’ next album, “To the Faithful Departed” was listed as #4 in my favourite albums, and while this is ranked #5 for albums from 1994, this is my favourite Cranberries effort. 1996 wasn’t the best year for albums where as there was some really strong competition in 1994, from Oasis and Beck who both missed out on my Top 5 (with “Definitely Maybe” and “Mellow Gold” respectively).

This is a great album, it’s definitely my favourite album by the Irish band, and it’s probably their most popular and most widely praised piece of work. And while “Linger” gave the band a lot of worldwide notice, it was inevitably “Zombie” that helped this album sell over 7 million copies alone in the US, and become the song that the band are most famous for. But it’s not just “Zombie” that is good on this album, from start to finish this is an alternative Irish rock clinic, and Dolores O'Riordan’s vocals are as beautiful and striking as they ever were. This is definitely the album to get if you want to try and get into The Cranberries as it’s a damn solid album.

#4 – “Let Love In” by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds

Released: 18/4/94

Rating: **** stars

Stand-out tracks: “Red Right Hand”, “Jangling Jack”, “I Let Love In”

“Let Love In” was the first time really that Nick Cave was really taken seriously and favourably with both critics and fans. When he was with The Birthday Party, he had the fans on his side yet the band eventually ceased to exist and they weren’t taken seriously, they were just considered a nutty post –punk band. For a lot of the eighties when he formed The Bad Seeds, he never really made much of an impact, especially as his new band was such a contrast in comparison to the crazy and frenetic style of his old band, his fans didn’t take to The Bad Seeds straight away, and while he was critically more well received, he still looked like he was floating around, not cementing any style of clarity in terms of what his music was about and what he wanted to achieve.

But with the release of the super cool and sexy “Red Right Hand”, people started to notice. The man matured. The music was toned down and smooth. The lyrics were just excellent (I mean they have never been bad, but critically they were much better received). “Let Love In” started cementing what would be one of the best underground careers Britain has seen. Nick Cave has never really made hits, he’s never really sold records. But the critics love him and their cult fans love him even more. And “Let Love In” really started the whole thing off, even if I much prefer “The Murder Ballads” to it.

#3 – “How to Make Friends and Influence People” by Terrorvision

Released: 18/4/94

Rating: ****1/4 stars

Stand-out tracks: “Alice What's the Matter?”, “Oblivion”, “Pretend Best Friend”

Released on the same day as Nick Cave’s “Let Love In” above, was the best piece of music Terrorvision ever produced. Now Terrorvision is a hard band to categorize, because they have mixed so many genres into their music. This is their hardest album, it’s their most creative and a lot of the more hardcore fans think it’s their best. But they didn’t have the most success with it, album wise the follow-up “Regular Urban Survivors” fared best with the single “Perseverance” getting the band their first Top 5 hit.

But in 1999 they released their song “Tequila”, which got to #2, and took away all the coolness the band had away, and was a dancy/party/pop-rock track that felt like a lot of 1-hit wonders. A lot of people remember “Tequila” now when they think of Terrorvision, and while I can listen to the track on a good day, it’s a damn shame that this album has pretty much been forgotten about as it was so good. “Alice What’s the Matter” and “Oblivion” are two of the coolest songs in the early nineties, they’re so fricking awesome and deserve so much airplay but get none. If you want to see the serious and hard edge that Terrorvision once had, the best side of Terrorvision, get this album, you won’t be disappointed.

#2 – “Portrait of an American Family” by Marilyn Manson

Released: 19/7/94

Rating: ****1/2 stars

Stand-out tracks: “Dope Hat”, “Cake and Sodomy”, “Lunchbox”

Marilyn Manson’s debut album was great. What I love about “Portrait” is that it’s obviously low budget, it’s obviously raw and while a lot of people see these as negative traits I think Manson did a great job with what he had. Trent Reznor’s work on the production was appreciated of course, and evidence of that really is in the demos and cassettes and early music clips that Manson released after he got even bigger than he was in 1994. The old tracks and rare clips are in awful condition and the music is atrocious. Looking at that a stage, a stage that Manson was in up to 1993, and comparing it to the actual release of “Portrait”, shows the jump in quality and the effort is there for anyone to see if you want to listen to those demos and stuff.

“Portrait” isn’t really an industrial metal album; it’s more an industrial rock album, with a lot of raw punk and post-punk elements. It’s a slightly different sound to what Manson was then to release, an inferior sound in the end, but it’s still a great listen, and there are some great tracks on here. Of course, the best was yet to come for Manson, and I’d only recommend you get this if you have heard some of his later work and want to hear more of “The God of Fuck”. Because in the end “Antichrist Superstar” is THE Manson album to get if you want to start somewhere.

#1 – “The Downward Spiral” by Nine Inch Nails

Released: 8/3/94

Rating: ****3/4 stars

Stand-out tracks: “Piggy”, “The Becoming”, “March of the Pigs”

Was it ever in doubt what I would put down as the #1 album of 1994? Ever since I’ve been doing this Yearly Music Review I couldn’t wait to get to 1994 because of how good the music was this year. And NIN’s finest effort is possibly my favourite album of all time.

If you’ve been reading my Yearly Music Review every month I’ve always talked of the three albums on top of a large pillar of albums when it comes to my favourite albums of all time. There’s this, and the two Manson efforts, “Antichrist Superstar” and “Mechanical Animals”. I always change up what is my favourite of the three but I can never make a decision on what it truly is. I just can’t. But regardless, this album is definitely on top of the mountain for me, and when it comes to industrial metal, you’d be hard to find an album to top it.

The Downward Spiral is a classic metal album, it’s considered one of the biggest and best albums of all time and rightfully so. When Trent Reznor released “Pretty Hate Machine” back in 1989 I don’t think anyone expected him to be considered the pioneer of industrial metal going into the nineties. But that’s exactly what happened. If you like your metal, even if it’s not distinctly industrial metal, this is a must listen. I don’t care if you disagree, you must hear it!

My Top 5 Music Videos of 1994

#5 - "Basket Case” by Green Day

“Basket Case” isn’t an amazing video, but it’s one of those videos that are enjoyable to watch and you can respect the effort the director put in. Set in an actual mental institution (it was abandoned), the band act like patients throughout the video, apart from in the actual sections where they play the music, in these scenes they’re the actual normal performers of Green Day. The video was actually shot in black and white, and all the colours were added in afterwards, which explains the green irises that Billy Joe Armstrong has, and the odd colour schemes in the hospital. It all works out well and as I said, it’s not amazing, but it’s definitely a cool little video to watch.

#4 - "Sabotage” by Beastie Boys

Spike Jonze directed this video (and the one at #2 in this list) and he did a damn good job. The video is basically homage to 1970’s American Cop shows like Starsky and Hutch and Hawaii Five-O. All the band members play as cops and do decent looking stunts (I don’t know if they were stunt doubles mind) and just kick a lot of 1970’s ass. The video is a parody, but it’s more homage than parody as it’s not a funny video really, it actually looks quite cool. Danny Boyle actually says that this video inspired the opening to “Trainspotting”, now that’s praise for the quality of the video. What more can I say? They have awesome moustaches!

#3 - "Parklife” by Blur

I love this video. It was one that I remember vividly from my childhood, and it’s one that describes Britain very well in a nutshell. I love the role Phil Daniels fills, both in the vocal verses and the double glazing salesman character he portrays. I love the fact that Damon Albarn is so placid about everything that goes on around him, and you have to give credit to Alex James for cross dressing in the video. I also love the spoof done by Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse on the TV show “Harry and Paul”, where Whitehouse plays Phil Daniels and Nelson Mandela, played by Enfield, sings along to the song in silly fashion. But this is about the original video, which is still great to watch today.

#2 - "Buddy Holly” by Weezer

Spike Jonze has to be one of the best music video directors ever. He did this cracker, he also did “Sabotage” above, he did “It’s Oh So Quiet” by Bjork, featured last month, he did “Praise You” and “Weapon of Choice” by Fatboy Slim, he did “Wonder Boy” by Tenacious D. “Buddy Holly” has to be up there with his best, it’s amazing how well done this video is, with old footage from the great 1970s show “Happy Days” merged with footage of Weezer playing at “Al’s Bar”; it looks so authentic and real but the truth is it’s all edited clips of the show. The only genuine new footage was Weezer playing, Al the barman, who made a cameo in the video, and Fonzie, who was a body double and they used editing for his appearance as well. But if you didn’t know all that you would still be guessing to how they managed to pull it off, which is full credit to Spike Jonze in the end, and his career flourished from here.

#1 - "Closer” by Nine Inch Nails

What can I say about this video? Collectively, it’s possibly Nine Inch Nails’ best video, and the song is considered the most popular the band has done. The video mixes allsorts of controversial elements, especially back in 1994, including a monkey, perceived to being tied on a wooden cross, a decapitated pigs head turning on some weird metal instrument, a diagram of a woman’s vagina and Trent Reznor, mastermind of the band, wearing lots of leather and S&M and being tied up. All of these controversial images however are beautifully crafted onto early 20^th century film and the video has been set in a very old laboratory. To block out the controversy for when the video was viewed before the watershed they often put “scene missing” signs, to keep with the flow of the video. It’s truly a magnificent video and fits the song perfectly, not to mention good for you ladies who fancy Trent Reznor, who is in the buff in the second half of the video and tied up.

The Top 10 Most Impactful Songs of 1994

As I said, I'm NOT calling it the 'important' list, although it's more than just popularity as well. Anyway, here are the 10 songs of the year. It's an unbiased list.

#10 - "Girl, You’ll Be a Woman Soon” by Urge Overkill

This song was actually recorded two years earlier on an EP, but was released as a single in 1994. Why? Well if you’ve heard the song before you will know that it was featured in the classic 1994 movie Pulp Fiction. That film, and the scene in which the film was in, propelled this song to reach #37 in the UK charts. That’s not high really, but considering no one had heard of Urge Overkill before or really since, it says something of the song. The song is a cover version of the original by Neil Diamond, and is just fantastic. Urge Overkill will always be known for this cover, and because it’s featured in such an important film in history, their name will be cemented for a long time to come.

#9 - "Sabotage” by the Beastie Boys

Getting to #19, “Sabotage” was the Beastie Boys’ first Top 20 hit in the UK for seven years (when "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party!)" and "No Sleep till Brooklyn" were released, jeez, now I feel old as I might cover these songs on this site soon!). The Beastie Boys often take long breaks between their albums and come back with a bang, and a usual change of direction. They often play between the lines of rock and rap, and this was a transition to a more rock environment, with extensive usage of a bass and drums and less rap-style vocals. It’s a decent track, and the video as mentioned above was great, and the song is still considered one of their best, getting decent airplay today.

#8 - "Zombie” by The Cranberries

“Zombie” got to #13 in the UK charts and is actually a protest song against the bombing attacks of the IRA in Northern Island. But the song regardless of its protest origins, became The Cranberries’ biggest hit, not chart wise (that honour goes to “Salvation” and “Promises”, which got one place higher at #13) but popularity, longevity and in terms of airplay, this is their greatest song, surpassing “Linger” released a year earlier. The song got to #3 in the Irish charts so the song shows its strength on the big green island to the west. “Zombie” incorporates everything good about The Cranberries, the hard edge their alternative rock has, Dolores O'Riordan’s iconic vocals, her howls, and proves why they’re arguably Ireland’s best import in the past twenty years.

#7 - "Buddy Holly” by Weezer

Weezer are an odd band, and I say that with affection. They seem to be here with us all the time, yet manage to slip by us often. We don’t appreciate Weezer like we should, they have consistently released good singles with very good music videos yet their success in the charts never match how good they are. I’m not saying they’re the best band in the world, but they’ve been constantly good now since 1994. When “Buddy Holly” was released. It’s odd to think of this song being as old as it is, but it shows how good Weezer have been for so long. And the song’s credit truly is only once since, have Weezer had a higher charting song (that was “Beverly Hills”, which got to #9, their only Top 10 hit). “Buddy Holly” got to #12 and the song combined with the video, are make it one of the most memorable songs of the nineties.

#6 - "Black Hole Sun” by Soundgarden

Also getting to #12 in the UK charts was Soundgarden’s biggest hit, “Black Hole Sun”. 1994 is arguably the death of grunge, due to the death of Kurt Cobain of Nirvana, as well as the fact that the punk revival was kicking in around this time. “Black Hole Sun” is odd though, in terms of why it’s such a big hit, the songs lyrics are odd and the video is freaky. It does have a relatively catch chorus however. This isn’t personally a song I like, nor do I like the band, but there’s no doubt at all that Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun” is a song that has remained popular throughout the last 17 years and deserves a place on this list as one of the biggest songs of 1994.

#5 - "Live Forever” by Oasis

Oasis released five singles in 1994 and it was hard choosing one for this list, but I’ve gone with “Live Forever”. It was the band’s first Top 10 hit, getting to #10, and charted well in the US, Spain and Ireland. “Cigarettes and Alcohol” and “Whatever” did chart higher than this, and were also released in 1994, but I think this song has been played more than any other song released that year, it’s more fondly thought of and also, it’s lyrically considered better I’d say too. It’s just a great Oasis song (although personally I prefer “Supersonic”), one that won’t go away anytime soon.

#4 - "Basket Case” by Green Day

“Basket Case” was Green Day’s biggest hit in the UK for 10 years, getting to #6 in our chart (“American Idiot”, the song I placed as the #1 song of the Noughties, you can read that here, got to #5). It’s a great punk rock song, and I mean it when I say punk rock, I don’t care if modern punk is considered inferior to the originals of punk in the seventies, I consider this one of the best punk songs ever made. The song naturally deals with paranoia, and it’s a personal song for Billy Joe Armstrong when he was dealing with his diagnosis of a panic disorder. It just sounds great and is fondly thought of by the Green Day faithful and general modern punk fans. In short, it’s a classic.

#3 - "Girls and Boys” by Blur

For all the hype that was to come in the next few years in the battle between Blur and Oasis, in 1994 Oasis were just getting noticed, where as Blur had already established themselves slowly through the start of the decade. And while I prefer “Parklife” personally, there’s no denying that “Girls and Boys” is the bigger and more “impactful” of the two, getting Blur their first Top 5 hit (it got to #5) and setting them up for their illustrious career throughout the nineties. “Girls and Boys” the song stands well today, it sounds fresh and it’s so amazingly catchy – there’s no denying this song sounds good. The video looks amazingly dated though, but you can’t win them all!

#2 - "Closer” by Nine Inch Nails

This isn’t me being biased when I put my favourite band’s most popular song at #2 of the most ‘impactful’ songs of the year. I try to consider alternative genres equally with rock and indie, and when it comes to industrial metal, and songs from that genre, there’s no bigger song. “Closer” became an underground classic, a metal bar staple, a piece of genius to the people of metal and alternative dance music. It’s still played extensively today and sounds just as good now as it did then. The controversy of the video, along with the fantastic chorus of “I want to fuck you like an animal” definitely helped the song reach as high as #25 in the UK charts, a high that Nine Inch Nails would not beat for another eleven years (with “The Hand That Feeds”, that got to #7, the only Top 10 hit of NIN’s career), but there’s no taking away from this song, it’s a classic, it’ll be played in metal bars and dancefloors for a long long time. If you haven’t heard the song before, then you’re missing something, it’s as simple as that.

#1 - "Loser” by Beck

The year 1994 means a lot of things to a lot of people. To me, it marks the year of Marilyn Manson’s debut album, and the release of Nine Inch Nails’ finest work. It also marks the first year that I truly remember from memory rather than tracking back into music, or listening to my parents play vinyl records and tapes to get my influences and tastes. But for the most part, I’d say the year 1994 marks the beginning of Beck. Now, Beck doesn’t do chart success, he never really has. He’s a brilliant musician however, and does things his own way on his terms. “Loser” however is the anti-commercial track, yet it managed to set Beck’s career going very well. Beck had released an album a year earlier, and his second album, Mellow Gold, wasn’t a big hit as it was released the week before this single. But since then the album has been critically acclaimed and has gone platinum. “Loser” got to #15 despite its genre of music and lack of promotion. Only “The New Polution” has charted higher, yet Beck’s career has come leaps and bounds and the man has so much respect across the music industry.

And to think that Beck wrote this song to describe how his life was. The guy was a homeless singer and song songs about gibberish. “Loser” describes the type of songs he sung on the spot. And the song has since become one of the most important and impactful songs of the nineties.

The Year 1994 Mixtape

Just in case you didn't know by now...

"A Mixtape is a playlist of a certain genre, band or era. The list is generally 80 minutes long, the same length of a blank CD, with further recommendations if some of the songs aren’t to your taste. Remember kids, downloading is wrong!"

So here we go! My favourite songs from the year 1994. Yes, this is a biased list.

Parklife – Blur
Supersonic – Oasis
Zombie - The Cranberries
Buddy Holly – Weezer
Do You Love Me? - Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
Girl, You'll Be a Woman Soon - Urge Overkill
Loser – Beck
Stutter – Elastica
My Iron Lung – Radiohead
Alice What's the Matter? – Terrorvision
Sabotage - Beastie Boys
Voodoo People - The Prodigy
Doll Parts – Hole
Basket Case - Green Day
Come Out and Play - The Offspring
Lost in America - Alice Cooper
Disarm - Smashing Pumpkins
Black Sunshine - White Zombie
Get Your Gunn - Marilyn Manson
March of the Pigs - Nine Inch Nails
Blind - KoRn

And here are the five alternative songs if you don't like some of the above...

Infected - Bad Religion
Freedom - Rage Against the Machine
Bring the Pain - Method Man
Gin and Juice - Snoop Dog
Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

And there we go! The year 1994 in review! Next month naturally I’ll be covering 1993 and continue my descend into music history. What we your favourite songs and albums from 1994? Any other comments or queries? Raise them below. Thanks for your time.

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Q&A with Johnny Mercyside: Part 7

2011-12-31T14:56:00.000Z

Hey there, welcome to my newest Q&A session. Before I get to that though I just want to say this is also the last post of 2011. It's been a good year. For this site, it's actually been a great year, I'm closing in on 50,000 page views, and over 42,000 of those came in this actual year. That really makes me proud.

On this site in the past year I've reviewed more games and music than I ever have in my life. I've started covering football matches on here, and still do bits on wrestling here and there. My Noughtie series is the largest project I've ever done and while I have mixed feeling on how it all turned out I'm still proud of it. My Yearly Music Review is a much better piece of work and that's great. More things? Erm, I love my Transformations of William Birkin article, that was great to write about and it's been really well received. And my beefy Rise and Fall of Guitar Hero article was good too. It's been a fantastic year for this site and I hope 2012 will be better. I have a lot planned already.

On a personal level 2011 was also pretty decent. It was certainly better than 2010. I got married, I went to Argentina, I went to Ireland twice, and had an absolutely brilliant time. I went to Bunn Leisure Selsey again. My daughter Vivi has grown up to be an awesome little girl and my wife and I are expecting another child. It's been very good. But I also think 2012 will be better on a personal level. We're moving back to North Wales, where I grew up, where my family and friends are. Portsmouth has been good to me but 2012 brings me back to Wales, which has been even better.

So Happy New Year tomorrow, I hope it's as good to you as you want it to be.

Back to the actual topic at hand, Q&A Part 7. These questions are all taken off my Formspring account, which you can find here. These were answered a while ago, and I've changed the answers if the situation has changed since then.

Q: If you could move to any foreign country, where would you move to?

A: I've always wanted to go to Japan, Switzerland and a little island in the middle of nowhere called Tahiti, so one of those three. I also loved Argentina when I went there so that's somewhere I wouldn't say no to either.

Q: Do you believe in luck?
A: If you mean luck as in it affects every day life all the time then no. The world works its way to make things happen. But sometimes something can happen that goes in your favour, so that in itself is "lucky".

Q: What's the furthest you've ever traveled?
A: Well I went to Argentina at the end of October. We stopped at Spain, so in one journey, the difference between Madrid and Buenos Aires.

Q: What's the first thing that you usually notice about someone you meet?
A: Depends what way round I see them and their gender. For girls, from the front, their eyes. From behind, their (hopefully) fine behind. For guys, erm, probably their clothes. That's both sides.

Q: If you could eat at any restaurant in the world tonight, which one would you choose?
A: As pathetic as it sounds, I really would like to go for a burger from next store at the kebab shop. I'm not someone that needs a fancy restaurant to have food I'm satisfied with.

Q: Who is the most important person in the world to you?
A: My daughter. I have a lot of people who are important to me but nothing comes close to Vivi. She is the most important person in my life, there is no replacement for my love for her.

Q: What language would you like to learn how to speak?
A: Japanese, one, because I want to go there one day. And two, because I could finally know what the fuck all the Japanese people in Britain are actually saying.

Q: If the Internet and TV didn't exist, what would you spend most of your time doing?
A: Play music on a CD... or play on a DS or PSP! Aha!

Q: What's your daily morning routine?
A: Set an alarm 15 minutes before I have to leave for work, get up, get dressed, leave for the train to work. If it's a weekend, get as much sleep as possible and then go downstairs. My life can be very simple.

Q: What fear would you most like to conquer?
A: I'm not really particularly scared of anything, so I can't say. I mean, I'm not fearless, but I'm not consistently bothered about anything.

Q: What's your favorite Sci-Fi movie?
A: I can't say, I really am not into Sci-Fi movies much.

Q: Who deserves to have a sandwich named after them?
A: Richard Cheese? I don't want a Richard Cheese sandwich though.

Q: Have you cried during a movie?
A: Erm... I can't remember... I probably have but I can't remember what one specifically.

Q: If you could own any kind of pet, what would it be?
A: I love cats and rats. I've had four or five cats and seven rats in my lifetime. In an ideal situation I'd to be able to afford a cat and a few rats, and hope that the cat has no interest in nomming the rats. We can all dream.

Q: Are you better at using your brain or your brawn?
A: My brain but I can use my brawn quite well too.

Q: What country's cuisine is your favorite?
A: I'd probably say Italian food, you can't go wrong with pizza and pasta really.

Q: Should WWE Ice Cream bars make a comeback?
Absolutely! I can't remember seeing any but I live in the UK. I'd buy them!

Q: Do you tend to be shy or an attention seeker?
A: I'm neither really but if this is the line of shy <---> attention seeker, I'd probably be closer to shy as I can be insecure at times.

Q: What's your favorite pasta dish?
A: Bacon carbonara. Mmmm.

Q: Would you rather take a picture or have your picture taken?
A: I'd rather take a picture, I'm not very photogenic. Or attractive.

And that's my latest Formspring update. Once again if you want to follow me on Formspring you can do so here. Happy New Year everyone! I'll be back on Monday for my 1994 in Music review. Enjoy your festivities!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

WWE World Champion Knockout Game - Round 3

2011-12-30T19:31:00.000Z

Hey there I hope you had a good Christmas. Round 2 for my WWE World Champion Knockout Game came to an end today. For the last week I've been asking for your votes on who make the best World Champions and I've had tallies going on this site, and two other forums. I can now reveal the results.

The Pedigree Bracket

(1) Triple H vs (4) Vince McMahon - Triple H wins 19 votes to 2.
(2) Christian vs (6) Chris Benoit - Chris Benoit wins 10 votes to 8.

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket

(1) John Cena vs (4) Rob Van Dam - John Cena wins 13 votes to 8.
(2) Shawn Michaels vs (6) Eddie Guerrero - Shawn Michaels wins 17 votes to 4.

The Jackhammer Bracket

(1) Edge vs (4) Alberto Del Rio - Edge wins 20 votes to 1.
(2) Bob Backlund (3) Jeff Hardy - Jeff Hardy wins 13 votes to 8.

The Brogue Kick Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (4) Sheamus - The Rock wins 20 votes to 1.
(2) Bret Hart vs (3) Rey Mysterio - Bret Hart wins 17 votes to 4.

The Chokeslam Bracket

(1) Randy Orton vs (4) Booker T - Booker T wins 16 votes to 5.
(2) CM Punk vs (3) Big Show - CM Punk wins 18 votes to 3.

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket

(1) The Undertaker vs (4) Sycho Sid - The Undertaker wins 19 votes to 2.
(2) Batista vs (3) Kane - Kane wins 12 votes to 9.

The Codebreaker Bracket

(1) Hulk Hogan vs (5) The Iron Shiek - Hulk Hogan wins 16 votes to 5.
(2) Chris Jericho vs (6) Andre the Giant - Chris Jericho wins 17 votes to 4.

The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs (4) Ric Flair - Stone Cold Steve Austin wins 20 votes to 1.
(2) Kurt Angle vs (3) Randy Savage - Kurt Angle wins 11 votes to 10.

The biggest shock of the round when it comes to seeding are the eliminations of Christian, a #2 seed which lost to #6 seed Chris Benoit. We also have our first #1 seed elimination, with Randy Orton losing to #4 seed Booker T.

Just a reminder, that picture above is who is pairing off against who, the bracket number they have and the total amount of titles they have won.

To vote, vote or comment below, or message me on my Facebook page, my Twitter, or email me.

Now that mumbo jumbo is out of the way, here's Round 3! Round 4, the Quarter Finals, will be posted on Friday 6th January.

Round 3

*Voting Closed*

The Pedigree Bracket
(1) Triple H vs (6) Chris Benoit

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket
(1) John Cena vs (2) Shawn Michaels

The Jackhammer Bracket
(1) Edge vs (3) Jeff Hardy

The Brogue Kick Bracket
(1) The Rock vs (2) Bret Hart

The Chokeslam Bracket
(2) CM Punk vs (4) Booker T

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket
(1) The Undertaker vs (3) Kane

The Codebreaker Bracket
(1) Hulk Hogan vs (2) Chris Jericho

The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket
(1) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs (2) Kurt Angle

*Voting Closed*

To summarise, to vote, you can list your preferred champions in the polls above. But I can also accept votes elsewhere, you can vote on my Facebook, my Twitter or via email. Votes will be tallied and Round 4, The Quarter Finals will be posted on Friday 6th January. Happy voting!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T21:43:00.000Z

Merry Christmas! Please excuse the shoddy editing work on that picture above. It's atrocious I know, I did it on Microsoft Paint. I'm not going to be doing any site work now until Thursday, when I do my next Q&A post. On Friday, I'll be doing both Round 3 of the WWE World Champion Knockout Game, so no Live Thoughts from me that day. Then on Sunday I'll put up the 1994 in Music Review.

Enjoy your festive season! All the best!

Johnny Mercyside.

WWE World Champion Knockout Game - Round 2

2011-12-23T18:10:00.000Z

Hey there, welcome back to my WWE World Champion Knockout Game. For the last week I've been asking for your votes on who make the best World Champions and I've had tallies going on this site, and two other forums. I can now reveal the results.

The Pedigree Bracket

(1) Triple H vs (8) Montel Vontavious Porter - Triple H wins 29 votes to 0.
(4) Vince McMahon vs (5) Jack Swagger - Vince McMahon wins 15 votes to 11.
(2) Christian vs (7) John "Bradshaw" Layfield - Christian wins 15 votes to 10.
(3) Mankind vs (6) Chris Benoit - Chris Benoit wins 14 votes to 12.

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket

(1) John Cena vs (8) Drew McIntyre - John Cena wins 18 votes to 6.
(4) Rob Van Dam vs (5) Mark Henry - Rob Van Dam wins 21 votes to 4.
(2) Shawn Michaels vs (7) The Great Khali - Shawn Michaels wins 25 votes to 0.
(3) Brock Lesnar vs (6) Eddie Guerrero - Eddie Guerrero wins 14 votes to 10.

The Jackhammer Bracket

(1) Edge vs (8) R-Truth - Edge wins 24 votes to 0.
(4) Alberto Del Rio vs (5) Bobby Lashley - Alberto Del Rio wins 18 votes to 5.
(2) Bob Backlund vs (7) The Miz - Draw, 12 votes each. By default of seeding, Bob Backlund goes through.
(3) Jeff Hardy vs (6) Goldberg - Jeff Hardy wins 13 votes to 10.

The Brogue Kick Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (8) Daniel Bryan - The Rock wins 19 votes to 3.
(4) Sheamus vs (5) Buddy Rodgers - Sheamus wins 19 votes to 3.
(2) Bret Hart vs (7) Dolph Ziggler - Bret Hart wins 16 votes to 6.
(3) Rey Mysterio vs (6) Diesel - Rey Mysterio wins 14 votes to 8.

The Chokeslam Bracket

(1) Randy Orton vs (8) Wade Barrett - Randy Orton wins 18 votes to 4.
(4) Booker T vs (5) Ivan Koloff - Booker T wins 22 votes to 0.
(2) CM Punk vs (7) Ezekiel Jackson - CM Punk wins 22 votes to 0.
(3) Big Show vs (6) Sgt. Slaughter - Big Show wins 15 votes to 7.

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket

(1) The Undertaker vs (8) Kofi Kingston - The Undertaker wins 22 votes to 0.
(4) Sycho Sid vs (5) Pedro Morales - Sycho Sid wins 19 votes to 5.
(2) Batista vs (7) Tommy Dreamer - Batista wins 19 votes to 5.
(3) Kane vs (6) The Ultimate Warrior - Kane wins 16 votes to 7.

The Codebreaker Bracket

(1) Hulk Hogan vs (8) Cody Rhodes - Hulk Hogan wins 16 votes to 7.
(4) Yokozuna vs (5) The Iron Shiek - The Iron Shiek wins 15 votes to 8.
(2) Chris Jericho vs (7) Matt Hardy - Chris Jericho wins 20 votes to 2.
(3) Bruno Sammartino (6) Andre the Giant - Andre the Giant wins 14 votes to 8.

The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs (8) John Morrison - Stone Cold Steve Austin wins 22 votes to 1.
(4) Ric Flair vs (5) Stan Stasiak - Ric Flair wins 22 votes to 1.
(2) Kurt Angle vs (7) Chavo Guerrero - Kurt Angle wins 21 votes to 0.
(3) Randy Savage vs (6) Billy Graham - Randy Savage wins 21 votes to 1.

All the 'non-champions' have been eliminated out of the game. I suppose the "shocks" of the round when it comes to seeding are the eliminations of Mankind, Brock Lesnar and Bruno Sammartino, who were all #3 seeds and lost to #6 seeds. So with all that out of the way, the brackets now look like this:

Just a reminder, that picture above is who is pairing off against who, the bracket number they have and the total amount of titles they have won.

To vote, vote or comment below, or message me on my Facebook page, my Twitter, or email me.

Now that mumbo jumbo is out of the way, here's Round 2! Round 3 will be posted on Friday 30th December.

Round 2

*Voting Closed*

The Pedigree Bracket

(1) Triple H vs (4) Vince McMahon
(2) Christian vs (6) Chris Benoit

The Sweet Chin Music Bracket

(1) John Cena vs (4) Rob Van Dam
(2) Shawn Michaels vs (6) Eddie Guerrero

The Jackhammer Bracket

(1) Edge vs (4) Alberto Del Rio
(2) Bob Backlund (3) Jeff Hardy

The Brogue Kick Bracket

(1) The Rock vs (4) Sheamus
(2) Bret Hart vs (3) Rey Mysterio

The Chokeslam Bracket

(1) Randy Orton vs (4) Booker T
(2) CM Punk vs (3) Big Show

The Tombstone Piledriver Bracket

(1) The Undertaker vs (4) Sycho Sid
(2) Batista vs (3) Kane

The Codebreaker Bracket

(1) Hulk Hogan vs (5) The Iron Shiek
(2) Chris Jericho vs (6) Andre the Giant

The Stone Cold Stunner Bracket

(1) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs (4) Ric Flair
(2) Kurt Angle vs (3) Randy Savage

*Voting Closed*

To summarise, to vote, you can list your preferred champions in the polls above. But I can also accept votes elsewhere, you can vote on my Facebook, my Twitter or via email. Votes will be tallied and Round 3 will be posted on Friday 30th December. Happy voting!

For the latest updates on my work, 'like' me on Facebook here!

The Mercy Side: The Language of Football

2011-12-22T18:38:00.001Z

If you’ve been following me on this site for some time you should know by now that I’m a Liverpool fan. I cover Liverpool matches on this site. I’m a member of the official Liverpool FC forums. My family are Scousers and while I have a Welsh accent, I’m a Scouser too. But I’m also a football fan, and I’d like to think I’m an unbiased fan at that. If you read my Live Thoughts on the Liverpool matches I hope you would see that I try to see the game from a biased Liverpool perspective, but when incidents occur, I take off my Red glasses and see things for what they are. Penalties, controversial decisions, for or against the Reds, I give my opinion for what I see, not for what I want to see.

The reason why I’m explaining this is because of the extremely sensitive subject, which is of the racism incident from October, when Liverpool’s Luis Suarez was accused of racist remarks towards Manchester United’s Patrice Evra. Unless you don’t follow football or have been living under a rock, Suarez has been handed an 8 match ban and fined £40,000 for these remarks, an unprecedented amount in this situation. I’m giving my take on the situation here, which isn’t easy, especially as there is so much speculation and grey clouds hanging around the issue.

Evra, on a French TV station, claimed that Suarez says “a certain word” “at least 10 times”. Suarez in response told the Uruguayan media, “There is no evidence I said anything racist to him. I said nothing of the sort.” “There were two parts of the discussion - one in Spanish, one in English.” “I did not insult him. It was just a way of expressing myself. I called him something his team mates at Manchester call him, and even they were surprised by his reaction.”

The word if you didn’t know that has highly speculated to have been used is “negrito”, which is a variation of the word “negro”, which means “little black person”. The Negritos were a class of ethnic people who inhabited parts Southeast Asia. The word “negro” is used a lot more, and means any person of black ancestry. The word was never considered offensive, just like the term “black” is not often considered racist nowadays. That was until the 1950s and 60s, when the Civil Rights movement considered a word attached closely to the slavery and discrimination to black people in the past. Since then the word “negro” is more often than not considered offensive.

However, in certain Spanish cultures, including Uruguay, the word has a positive meaning. The word can be associated with “mate”, and “friend”, just like a lot of black people use the word “nigger” in a similar manner (something which frustrates me as I believe black people shouldn’t use a word used against them so disgustingly in such a harsh time in their history so freely and in a positive way, but that’s a different discussion). So from what we can tell, Suarez used the word “negrito” or “negro” at least 10 times during this match. That’s the bottom of it.

The FA’s response to this was to charge Luis Suarez of using “abusive and/or insulting words”, in “”reference to the ethnic origin and/or colour and/or race”. The hearing took place last week, and yesterday the outcome is the 8 match ban and the fine. Liverpool then said in a statement yesterday that they are completely behind Suarez, do not think of him as a racist, and are surprised at the outcome based on the fact that Patrice Evra alone, and no referee or teammate has said anything otherwise. They haven’t appealed yet, but all things point to the fact that they will.

So, my take on all of this? There’s a lot of things to say about it. Firstly, racism is a disgusting thing that unfortunately still exists in today’s modern society. If anyone is being racist, or saying things with intent to discriminate on origins of ethnicity, then it’s a shameful act and shouldn’t be tolerated. But was Luis Suarez being racist? No I don't think he was, but the argument is frustratingly justified.

On one side, you have a guy from Uruguay, who speaks Spanish, who has spent less than a year in England, learning the English language and getting used to the English culture. What we have seen from Suarez as a player in the last eleven months is someone who is extremely intelligent, both with his feet and with his tactics. We bought Suarez in January and I said it at the time – it’s all fine and dandy getting someone like him, but I still didn’t agree with his influence on the game between Uruguay and Ghana in the World Cup last year. In case you forgot, the game was level, and he intentionally handled the ball in the penalty box when the ball was shot at goal and would have gone in if it wasn’t for his hand. He got the red card that was deserved, but Ghana missed the resulting penalty. Suarez, heading towards the exit, saw the missing penalty and celebrated like he just scored the winner himself. Because, in theory, he did; Uruguay went through and Ghana lost the match in controversial circumstances. All because of this little Uruguayan menace, a menace who has since dominated English club defences like no one else. I absolutely love Suarez. He’s the most exciting player in a Liverpool shirt since Steven Gerrard at his peak three or four years ago. He does things not many people can do, his ability to play between midfield and defence, and between defenders is absolutely amazing. But then there’s the other side. Luis Suarez goes down very easily. Luis Suarez complains if any decision goes against him. He has become the new Cristiano Ronaldo of the Premier League, and we all know how annoying that was when the boot was on the other foot. But a lot of Reds tolerate it, in fact; embrace it, as he wins us penalties or free kicks in dangerous areas. It doesn’t make it right, but it’s hard to not be happy when decisions like this work for us, because when they’re against us it’s absolutely frustrating.

Suarez gets under a lot of people’s skin, both on the pitch like a professional and exceptionally skilled footballer. But he also gets under people’s skin because he’s very vocal on the pitch. From what we’ve seen, everything seems cordial, or at least standard, when it comes to the altercations between him and other players. Tensions are always high on the pitch, because footballers are usually passionate when they’re playing, and the fans help keep the intensity going with chants and in derbies, some heckling. It does get out of hand, sometimes the fans start some disgusting chants and they’re usually dealt with, just look at Celtic for evidence. But there’s an unwritten law on the pitch, one that seems universal, which is, what happens on the pitch, stays on the pitch.

It’s similar to wrestling in that respect; sorry to bring it up if you dislike the ‘fake’ sport. There are things that are said or done in wrestling matches. Sometimes wrestlers hit each other hard, it’s called a stiff shot, to demand respect and to test your nerve. All you have to do is hit them back, maybe even harder, to show them that you won’t be bullied and that you’re not going to take that type of disrespect. I’ve read about this in many autobiographies. Wrestlers don’t talk about their matches when they get back into that locker room. It’s considered disrespectful to talk about how good or bad your match was, because there are other people who have or have to wrestle before or after, and it’s not nice to brag or to have an ego (unless it’s part of a character on screen obviously).

This is similar to what happens in a football match. Certain things are said. Nasty things. Players swear at each other, they push each other, they might cross the line. But when the final whistle blows, all the players shake hands, talk about the game, and are kind and respectful to each other. It’s rare that off the pitch altercations happen between players, very rare.

And this is where I think in a certain way Patrice Evra took things a little too far. If Suarez did indeed call him a “negrito”, it was to rile him up, to put him off his game. That’s why players swear or insult each other on the pitch; it’s to get a reaction, to put the opposition off, to make it harder for them to concentrate on the task at hand. Suarez has done this all season; he’s done it his entire career. And he’s not the only one, loads of players do it. And if Suarez did call him a “negrito”, it wasn’t with intention of racism. It was with intent purely to put Evra off his game. Evra took this too far in my opinion. And there’s the argument that a “negrito” in Uruguay is your “mate”, your “brother”, or your “nigger”, in a friendly way, not in a racist or discriminatory way.

But I’m also of the opinion that maybe it is time that players stop this type of behaviour. Maybe it’s about time players should stop insulting each other, and to stop any verbal bashing. Players are passionate, I can appreciate that, but there’s no need for this language and attitude. But it does happen all the time, probably in every match across the English leagues and more than likely across the world. Football is a game played with your feet but it’s also with your head, and Luis Suarez knows how to play the game in both ways.

I do however believe the FA has taken a harsh stance on Suarez, I mean, eight games? Seriously? That’s basically 6 weeks. A red card is three games, and you get those for shattering a player’s leg in half, putting them out of action for months or maybe up to a year and opening up a ton of problems for the rest of that player’s career. That affects someone’s life for good. But saying a word that someone finds offensive gives you nearly three times the punishment. Something’s not right here. But then again, I’ve been reading what journalists have been saying on the matter. And most of them are in favour of this harsh punishment, and if anything, support the idea of increasing bans for these horrendous tackles.

And providing that the FA take this stance with all racism issues in the future, then I think long term, I’m okay with this. Seriously. Am I happy we potentially have no Suarez until February or March? Absolutely not. I’m as frustrated as any Red out there. But if it means that other players watch their tongues on the pitch, and most recently, John Terry of Chelsea gets the same punishment of a ban of 8 games for his remarks towards Anton Ferdinand of Queens Park Rangers, then I’m okay with that. The FA needs consistency. And if this is their new punishment for disgusting comments on the pitch, then fine. I’m okay with that. And I think Liverpool need to be as well. Most people who are not a Red are reading the official statement on the website as an over exaggeration, blind support of a player who like it or not has said something that can be considered racist. We are in England, not Uruguay. If a white Englishman called a black Englishman a “negrito” in a Premier League match then we’d all consider that disgusting, unacceptable and deserving of a ban. And that’s what we have to abide to, and if we don’t see it this way then we’re in denial.

It took me a lot to come to this outlook. On Tuesday night I was seething, I was angry and I was completely against this ban, or at least, the amount of games the ban is for. I saw the LFC statement and rallied behind the club, thinking they were spot on and took matters to a level required. But… I woke up yesterday morning; I looked at the headlines, looked at how things seem in other parts of the country and the newspapers and journalists, and saw things differently. I’m not saying that if Liverpool appeal and we’re successful and have Suarez back that I’m not going to be happy, of course I will be. All I want is consistency, and for racism to be taken seriously. And if the FA are to begin this clamping down on racism and unnecessary comments on the pitch, then I’m all for it. I’m annoyed it started with Suarez, but I’ll be happy if it starts with Suarez, moves on to John Terry and then on to other players who use repulsive language on the pitch. I’m all for that. And while they’re at it, they can increase bans on players who maliciously tackle people and shatter bones and tear muscle, putting the long term injuries to justice.

Saying horrible things on the pitch is something that is often considered the language of football. Something that just happens because of the passion and tension on the pitch. After the match everything’s forgotten. It shouldn’t be this way. If players say nasty things on the pitch, racism or not, they should be punished. The language of football needs to change, and if there’s one thing that should be gained from Luis Suarez’s punishment, it’s that the FA are hopefully going to clamp down on this unwritten rule once and for all.

But if I’m completely frank, I don’t think the FA will keep this consistency. I think the FA are trying to make an example out of Luis Suarez, and possibly John Terry, but in the next few weeks or months things will return to normal. I don’t think anything is going to change, which is a damn shame. I think it will start with Suarez and end with Suarez, or maybe Terry, and that’s it. As a Liverpool supporter the whole thing really annoys me but as an unbiased fan I’ll be happy if it starts with Suarez and becomes a signal of intent to stamp out racism or disgusting remarks out of football for good. We can all hope.

Do you agree? Disagree? Is the ban too harsh, or should they increase the bans on disgusting tackles? Should Liverpool appeal or not? Will the FA use this harsh stance for all occasions? Let me know your thoughts by commenting below. Thanks for reading.

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Live Thoughts: Wigan vs Liverpool (Premier League)

2011-12-21T20:11:00.001Z

I covered this match live. Here are my unedited thoughts on the match between Wigan and Liverpool.

Hey there, thanks for joining me on another live thoughts feed. Suarez? I'm not going to go into that today. I've written an article about that. You'll see it tomorrow. Let's get straight into the match!

Here are the teams:

Wigan: Al-Habsi, Caldwell, Alcaraz, Figueroa, Stam, Jones, Diame, McCarthy, Moses, Gomez, Sammon. Subs: Pollitt, Crusat, Watson, Di Santo, McArthur, Rodallega, Lopez.

It's as good a side as Wigan can put out. We should be winning today, pure and simple. Will Wigan turn up, as they have in recent games against us? We'll see.

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Skrtel, Agger, Jose Enrique, Henderson, Adam, Downing, Kuyt, Maxi, Suarez. Subs: Doni, Carroll, Coates, Carragher, Shelvey, Kelly, Bellamy.

Kuyt and Maxi come on for Shelvey and Bellamy. Rotation. I like it. All of these players are playing well so it's hard keeping any of them out, so I like the way we're rotating. Unless a player is playing exceptionally well in this winter season we should rotate as often as possible.

3' - Funny chants today. A huge roar from the Anfield crowd for Suarez, singing "I Just Can't Get Enough" all the time. Whenever Suarez has the ball the Wigan crowd are booing him immediately. Strong reactions from both sets.

5' - The Liverpool crowd just won't shut up, it's great! They keep singing! Major statement from the Liverpool faithful.

8' - Henderson! Good save by Al-Habsi. Soem good movement from Suarez and Maxi, and Henderson shoots from just outside the box and it's palmed out for a corner, which is dealt with eventually.

11' - A big tangle in the Liverpool box and Gomez hits it in the net but the whistle blows for a free kick in Liverpool's favour. Reina was down I believe.

15' - Victor Moses goes down in the box and tries to claim a penalty. An obvious dive, but the referee does nothing. Shame.

16' - The commentators won't shup up about this 20,000 goal landmark that we're approaching. Does it really matter? I suppose it does.

17' - Just in case you didn't know, Reina and Enrique are the only players to play every minute in the Premier League for us this season. Decent stat.

19' - Moses takes a shot from about 40 yards out. Very ambitious.

22' - DIAME! Side netting! Wow, another 40 yard shot for Wigan, but that one was hit smoothly! If it was a few inches to the right it would have been the top left corner!

23' - We were in control of the match for the first 10 or 15 minutes but Wigan are starting to find their feet at the moment. This crowd is very good, both sets of supporters full of voice today.

24' - Kuyt from close range and Al-Habsi saves, and Wigan clear for a corner. The attack from the corner ends with Agger with his right foot and it's just over the crossbar.

25' - JOHNSON! Another good safve from Al-Habsi! Maxi and Glen Johnson combine and Johnson shoots straight at the Wigan keeper, he could have done better than that I feel.

26' - Diame again! Good save by Reina! A low shot from the left of the penalty box and Reina saves nicely to his left and we clear. It's a good game this!

28' - Charlie Adam shoots from just outside the box and it's saved by Al-Habsi. It was a clear crisp shot but the Omanian keeper had it. Had he fumbled Suarez was there to take advantage but credit where it's due, Al-Habsi has dealt with everything Liverpool has given him so far.

31' - Both teams are playing to a high tempo which is good. Credit to Roberto Martinez, he likes to play good attacking football so in the end it's making a very entertaining match. Both sides are really going for it, with Liverpool showing the quality naturally more so than Wigan.

34' - The "I Just Can't Get Enough" chant is starting again. Liverpool fans were singing it non-stop for a good 10 minutes when the match started.

36' - Victor Moses goes for a great run and about three or four red shirts can't stop him! Johnson tries to tackle him but fails and he takes a shot straight at Reina, who's fists hit the ball towards the corner flag.

39' - If you're wanting an assessment on how Suarez has been today he's looked okay, he's quietly doing his job. He can explode into action at any minute but you can tell he's not trying to draw attention to himself, which is good.

42' - Suarez is brought down from a tackle by Antolin Alcaraz. It was a free kick all around, but the Wigan crowd are chanting "CHEAT" at him. Disgraceful.

43' - Gomez and Sammon combine well and if it wasn't for Johnson, Conor Sammon would have scored the 20,000th goal. Yes, we're at 19,999 now. Exciting huh? I hope you can sense my sarcasm.

45' - Two minutes of added time. James McCarthy looks like he's going to go off the pitch.

45+3' - An extra minute was added due to McCarthy, who looks like he'll be okay. Half time.

It was a decent first half of football. As an unbiased fan it was very entertaining. As a Liverpool fan we started well, but slowly put our foot off the gas as the match went on. We need to regroup and get that dominance back on, and hopefully score. I really hope Suarez scores today, it'll be great. The 20,000th goalscorer is Mark Albrighton. Woohoo. Congrats oh lord and master of landmark goalscoring prowess.

46' - A free kick from Suarez and a lovely save from Al-Habsi! That was going in otherwise, a great freekick from the right hand side of the pitch, 15 yards out.

47' - A good attack from Wigan, orchestrated by Moses and he takes a low shot and Reina saves low.

49' - The ball is all over the Wigan box, Suarez ends up doing a bicycle kick and it hits the arm of Gary Caldwell and a PENALTY!

50' - SAVED! Charlie Adam struck it well to his right and Al-Habsi saves brilliantly! Why cant' we score penalties this season?!

52' - This match does have "Liverpool dominate and miracle saves from opposition goalkeeper" written all over it by the way. Why do keepers like turning up to matches against us?

55' - A replay of the penalty and Adam's shot was more central than it first looked, but it would have beaten a lot of keepers. I don't blame Adam. It's not like Carroll's penalty a few weeks back, that was atrocious.

56' - Gomez takes a decent shot that swerves slightly but Reina saves very well. I need to give Reina credit here, he's been very good today and he's been tested a few times, more so than usual.

59' - Kuyt had a decent shot from long range on the volley and Al-Habsi saves comfortably. It wasn't the strongest of shots, if Gerrard was on it I reckon he would have scored.

60' - Wigan Substitution: Conor Sammon comes off for Franco Di Santo.

63' - Quick corner from Downing to Enrique, who whips in a cross and Skrtel heads it high. He could have done better than that, he was the tallest to reach it with considerable ease.

65' - Yellow card for Gary Caldwell for a tackle on Suarez.

66' - The following free kick sees Kuyt run on his own, Adam takes the free kick and he shoots over the bar. Great idea, it wasn't crafted out as planned.

67' - From the Liverpool box Downing storms down the left wing and is eventually caught up with, but he manges to win a corner. He takes it quick and Kuyt gets on the end of it at the left post and cuts it back but there's too many Wigan defenders in the way for Suarez to get to the goal. Kudos to Downing for that excellent run though.

69' - Bellamy and Shelvey are getting ready to come on. Good timing, I think we're running out of steam and need fresh impetus.

71' - Double Liverpool Substitution: Jonjo Shelvey and Craig Bellamy come on for Maxi Rodriguez and Dirk Kuyt. Maxi barely did anything in that second half, he was good in the first. Kuyt was as hard working as ever, and showed frustration in coming off by kicking some sports drinks. Not a good reaction from Kuyt there.

72' - Double Wigan Substitution: David Jones and Jordi Gomez come off and Ben Watson and Hugo Rodallega. Wigan have used all their subs now.

75' - Hugo Rodallega scored in both matches at this stadium against us last season and the season before. I hope it's not three in three for the Colombian, it'd probably be a winner if it is.

77' - A strong run from Victor Moses down the right wing, he cuts into the Liverpool box and Skrtel gets to it, kicking it for a throw in.

78' - Franco Di Santo shields the ball for a throw-in but Glen Johnson gets irritated and tackles badly from behind. He gets a yellow card. Silly way to concede a card for Johnson, I expect better from him. That was just frustration.

80' - The commentators just said that FIFA are thinking of getting rid of the loan system. Seriously? How pathetic. The loan system is excellent for football; it gives youngsters a chance to test their trade at high paced, high quality lower league football, instead of being wasted in the reserves where results don't matter.

83' - We really don't look like scoring. A draw seems inevitable. We haven't' played well enough in this second half.

84' - RODALLEGA! Corner. A lovely cross from Victor Moses and Rodallega heads it clean at goal, but Johnson deflects the header at close range for a corner. Best chance of the match so far and it goes to Wigan frustratingly.

86' - Liverpool Substitution: Luis Suarez comes off for Andy Carroll. Boos go around the DW Stadium as Suarez comes off. He's been quiet today, in a good way, he's been effective in a mature way. Kudos to him for playing under such pressure.

88' - Rodallega is through on goal! But Reina comes out and just about, I mean just about, deals with it, it goes for a throw in.

89' - Ali Al-Habsi wins the man of the match award. Completely justified. Yet another goalkeeping clinic against Liverpool. Good times.

90' - Four minutes of added time.

90+1' - Liverpool are desperately fighting to get a goal, and Ben Watson is all over the place tackling. Good work there by the young Englishman.

90+2' - Free kick about 15/20 yards out for Liverpool. This is it now I'd say. We score or it's a draw.

90+3' - Bellamy takes it and it hits the wall and Wigan clear.

90+3' - Shelvey takes a tame shot and it's saved by Al-Habsi.

90+4' - Full time.

Well, what can I say? It was like every other goalless draw we have had all season. Lots of Liverpool dominance, no goals, excellent opposition goalkeeping. That's it. The only other even that occurred otherwise was Charlie Adam's penalty which was saved very well. We just attract keepers to play on form for some reason. We were very good in the first half, the second half was poor though. We weren't' good enough, it was one of our weakest 45 minutes of the season I'd say. But, let's hope we have enough in the tank against Newcastle.

Before I finish, I'd like to once again say I have a football article planned already for tomorrow. I've written it. It's dealing with the Luis Suarez situation. I hope you come back to read it tomorrow, it's an interesting piece. Also, no Live Thoughts from me for the next two matches. I'll be back with the Live Thoughts on New Years Eve. If you visit the site purely for Live Thoughts, Merry Christmas. Otherwise please come back tomorrow, the article will definitely interest football fans in general, not just Liverpool fans. I'm signing off here now, have a good night.

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Music Album Review: Welcome 2 My Nightmare by Alice Cooper

2011-12-20T19:40:00.001Z

“Welcome 2 My Nightmare” surpasses the original album released 26 years prior, and shows that music doesn’t have to be serious; it can be pure entertainment and fun.

Alice Cooper released “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” three months ago. It’s his 26^th album and is the official sequel to “Welcome to My Nightmare” which was released ironically, 26 years ago. Three years ago Alice Cooper released “Along Came a Spider” and was considering doing a sequel to that album, but when producer Bob Ezrin (who also sequenced The Fragile by Nine Inch Nails and has worked with well respected artists like Pink Floyd, KISS and Peter Gabriel) didn’t like the idea of a sequel to that album proposed they do a sequel to “Welcome to My Nightmare” instead, Alice Cooper liked that idea more. Alice Cooper was touring extensively while the album was being prepared for release and expected it to be released next year, but released it in September instead.

The album starts off with “I Am Made of You” which is a great intro, showing the homage to the past while using modern influences too. How? Well the tune in the beginning is from the track “Steven”, arguably the best song on the original “Welcome to My Nightmare”, but you can clearly hear Alice Cooper using modern auto-tune in this track, which divides me personally as I hate auto-tune, but it doesn’t take too much away from the track. It’s a great opener, and it does its job well, which is set you up for the rest of the album.

After the intro track, we’re treated to “Caffeine”, which shows pretty much all sides of Alice Cooper in one track. On one side you have a decent hard rock/metal track, but you also see the silly side to the shock rock legend, which is that he’s simply, singing a song about needing caffeine. Yes, that’s what this song is about. And the chorus is “Caffeine! Caffeine!” in a squeaky voice. It’s incredibly cheesy but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. If you haven’t followed Cooper’s career much you need to realise that this guy has never taken himself seriously. Ever. He’s an entertainer and plays the part so well.

“The Nightmare Returns”, track three, basically sets up track four, “A Runaway Train”, and is Alice Cooper describing his incapability of sleeping. “A Runaway Train” which shows tribute to country music and has a drum beat similar to a train on tracks. It’s a decent track, it shows another side to Cooper that he doesn’t show too often but in all honesty Alice Cooper plays what genres he feels he can pull off, and trust me, he can pull of loads, and he proves he can do country well here.

But track five, “Last Man On Earth”, is my favourite song. It’s so fricking cool, it shows so much swagger and glamour, and Alice Cooper’s vocals are brilliant. The song follows Alice Cooper off the “Runaway Train” from the earlier song, where the train crashed. If you think Alice Cooper is a has-been, he’s lost it, he’s a relic and can’t go anymore, seriously, give this a listen and it will prove you wrong. This song is easily as cool and smooth as his seventies stuff. In fact, this song is proof that Alice Cooper’s “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” project is a success.

“The Congregation” is apparently inspired by The Beatles according to Cooper himself but it reminds me more of the general glam-rock sound of the seventies, a sound and era that Cooper was attached to quite closely. If you listen properly you’ll hear a cameo by Rob Zombie, whose very good friends with Cooper. It’s a good song, very catchy and it continues to use modern and old influences in this hybrid album. “I’ll Bite Your Face Off” is track seven and is so far the only single off the album. It’s an odd choice if you ask me, but then again Alice Cooper doesn’t always choose his singles well in my opinion. But it’s a decent traditional seventies rock song, a nod to The Rolling Stones according to Cooper himself, it’s as decent as most of his singles over the years have been. I don’t know if Alice Cooper will release any more singles off this album, purely because he doesn’t chart anymore, he makes music for fun and for his fans rather than to make money. That being said, “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” is Alice Cooper’s highest charting album since 1994, when he released “The Last Temptation”, and in the US since 1989 when he released “Trash”, so that’s great news.

One of the best songs on the album for me is “Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever”, which mixes allsorts of different genres from glam rock, goth rock, shock rock, disco, techno and dare I say it, rap. It’s odd to describe, it just sound fantastic. It sounds complicated, what with all the genres Cooper incorporates but it’s simply good sounding music, and John 5, once of Marilyn Manson and currently of Rob Zombie, gives a helping hand with a fantastic guitar solo at the end to top off what was already an awesome song.

I could talk about all the songs in honesty but the feeling is very similar throughout the album, but there are three more songs I will talk about. First is track eleven, “When Hell Comes Home”, which is arguably the heaviest song on the album, what with it’s heavy bass and Alice Cooper’s dark lyrics and sinister voice. It’s definitely one of the more serious songs on the album.

However contrasting the sincerity of this track, track twelve is “What Baby Wants”, which is a duet with, I can’t believe I’m about to say this, Ke$ha, which is a lot better than it sounds trust me. I hate to say it but you can trust me, it’s a good duet, the contrasting styles and music backgrounds all count for nothing in this song because Alice Cooper is in a silly mood again. And when I say silly, I mean that affectionately, because in the end music is entertainment and there’s very few entertainers in the music industry as good as Alice Cooper. The song is about Alice Cooper and his encounter with the devil, although the devil is actually Ke$ha, and he must sell his soul to her. It’s silly and fun and Ke$ha, kudos to her, she plays her part very well and her vocals aren’t as bad as I feared when I heard about the duet. One more thing though, there’s an auto-tune bridge towards the end of the song and it’s cringe-worthy, but once again, in a good way. Kind of.

Lastly, the album ends with an awesome outro, called “The Underture”. This song is basically a Broadway-esque exit to both “Nightmares”; mixing the music of both albums into a quite simply beautifully crafted outro. It mixes great songs from both albums, like “Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever” and “I Am Made of You” from this album and songs from the original album like “Steven”, and the title track, “Welcome to My Nightmare”. I can’t sum up how great the outro is in words, if you’ve heard both albums by the time you reach this point it’s a great way of wrapping everything up.

“Welcome 2 My Nightmare” was a lot of fun to listen to. Is Alice Cooper the best hard rock artist in the world? No, I don’t think so. But I never thought he was, I’ve always seen Alice Cooper as an artist who consistently brings the goods at a good level throughout his career. He did in the Seventies, he did in the Eighties, and while the Nineties or Noughties weren’t too kind on the man, this could be another surge of interest and popularity for the guy, who’s now in his sixties. I wouldn’t rule it out. Alice Cooper still has it. Doing sequel albums are a risky business; you’re paying homage to your former self, while trying to reach a high level you may not be able to reach again, never mind excel. And that’s what Alice Cooper does here. Yes I said it, “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” is better than “Welcome to My Nightmare”. Is this album as good quality as other albums being released at this time? No it’s not, but the nostalgia is there, the purity is there, the beauty, is there. And most importantly, this album is so much fun. It’s so much fun to listen to an album where you can hear the entertainment value, where you can hear how much of a ball Alice Cooper had going back into the studio with the same guys he released music with 26 years ago, and with artists who he has met along the way. Alice Cooper as a person is in a great place right now, and you know something? His music is too. “Welcome 2 My Nightmare” in a nutshell, surpasses the original album released 26 years prior, and shows that music doesn’t have to be serious; it can be pure entertainment and fun.

Rating: **** stars

Stand out tracks: "Last Man On Earth", "Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever", "The Underture"

Here's the music video for the only single released so far, "I'll Bite Your Face Off":

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Live Thoughts: Aston Villa vs Liverpool (Premier League)

2011-12-18T13:43:00.002Z

I covered this match live. Here are my unedited thoughts on the match between Aston Villa and Liverpool.

Hey there, thanks for joining me on another live thoughts feed. Like the new banner above? Don't care? Okay, moving on.

Well we did enough to beat QPR last week and managed to win at home, and win against a promoted side, something for some reason we couldn't do. So we had a lot of ticks in boxes last week. Unfortunately with our defeat at Fulham we lost our undefeated away streak, but we can rebuild a new one can't we? Starting at Aston Villa? My confidence going into this match is at a middle point, I'm not overly confident but I know we can win today and in theory, we're expected to win, especially if we are to keep up with the Top 5 (or 6 if you count Newcastle). So let's get to it!

Here are the teams:

Aston Villa: Guzan, Hutton, Dunne, Collins, Warnock, Albrighton, Delph, Petrov, N'Zogbia, Heskey, Delfouneso. Subs: Marshall, Clark, Cuellar, Bannan, Weimann, Johnson, Burke.

They don't look as strong as they could be. No Darren Bent or Agbonlahor, Heskey and Delfouneso come in the side instead and they don't have the best goal scoring records. Fabien Delph is a heck of a potential talent but he's barely shown it for Villa. Their best player on the pitch is N'Zogbia who is great when on form but crap when not. I feel they're there for the taking based on this line-up, but I'm going to eat my words now as Heskey scores a hat-trick against us!

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Enrique, Skrtel, Agger, Adam, Henderson, Shelvey, Downing, Suarez, Bellamy. Subs: Doni, Carroll, Maxi, Coates, Kuyt, Carragher, Kelly.

Jonjo Shelvey gets his first start of the season for us and I'm pretty happy about that. It's nice to see Kenny give thriving young talent a platform to climb to. Shelvey was on fire for Blackpool on loan and let's hope that energy and confidence can be moved to the bigger Red shirt. Kuyt and Maxi are benched, which is a shame but you can only fit 11 players on the field. Bellamy gets another start which is also welcome by me.

2' - Free kick early on for Aston Villa, Charlie Adam brings down Charles N'Zogbia. It's about 30 yards out. Stiliyan Petrov takes it and it's not a good free kick, luckily for us.

5' - Major boos for Stuart Downing at Villa Park due to his exit, where he said he wasn't going anywhere and then went to us. Fair enough I suppose.

8' - It's been a back and forth match so far, not much to report. Jonjo Shelvey has been given a decent amount of freedom as an attacking midfielder, something he didn't really get last season. He thrived in that role for Blackpool remember.

10' - GOAL! Craig Bellamy!! A corner from Stuart Downing is back heeled by Shelvey and Suarez shoots but it's saved by Guzan, and Bellamy fumbles it in via deflection!

12' - Charles N'Zogbia is in the book.

12' - All the jeering for Downing does make me laugh. It's not like Torres, who was at our club for three years, was a star player and left us at a testing period. Downing was with Villa for one full season (due to injuries prior), and while he was one of the best players at the Villa, he wasn't their star player. And they got a good deal from us, a nice amount of money.

14' - GOAL! Martin Skrtel! Two goals in four minutes! Bellamy corner, he whips it in perfectly and Skrtel just heads it in. So simple! Fantastic stuff!

16' - Us Liverpool fans have been saying for weeks due to our horrendous shots/goals ratio that we're due to give a drubbing to a team soon. Can this be the day?

17' - Alex McLeish must be really angry, his squad have let two simple set piece goals in, in 4 minutes. Bad for them but great for us.

18' - N'Zogbia whips in a dangerous cross and Reina claims with considerable ease.

20' - N'Zogbia has a bit of space and shoots from a good 30 yards and it's only just over the bar. Best chance for Villa so far.

20' - Possession is 61%/39% in Liverpool's favour. Really dominant at the moment.

22' - N'Zogbia has another good effort, this one hitting the side netting from the left. The last two minutes have been end to end for both sides, both going for goal.

25' - A few corners in succession for Liverpool, I hope this game is not like QPR when we had about 20 corners...

27' - Charlie Adam gets in the book for a few tackles in succession that result in going in Villa's favour. He was warned and he got the card.

29' - Craig Bellamy goes in the book now as he clips Albrighton on the Villa right wing, Albrighton goes down like a ton of bricks and it was Bellamy's reactions that got him the yellow card, as it usually is.

30' - Petrov takes a shot at goal and it's saved comfortably by Reina.

33' - The game has slowed down dramatically by the way, I don't know why. But I'm glad it's slowed down with a 2-0 lead rather than the 0-0 we're usually with at this point of other games.

34' - Suarez nutmegs Petrov and lays the ball in for Shelvey who earns us a corner.

36' - The corner is dealt with but we pile on the pressure, the pressure which ends with Shelvey in space and takes a low shot that's comfortably saved by Guzan.

39' - A bit of Villa pressure now, they can't enter our box but they're piling around it.

42' - The game is actually dead at the moment, I think both sides are just waiting for the whistle to regroup and start again.

45' - Two minutes of added time.

45+2' - Half time.

Well we're two goals up in the first 14 minutes and that's great. But then after that the game was just... dead. Villa seemed down and out and it felt like we were fighting with an unanimated corpse. Their lack of interest made the game boring. I hope that the second half becomes lively again as I was hoping this was the "finally we thrash the opposition" match we've been waiting for. But since the two goals they've defended well enough and we've not threatened as much. But despite all this moaning about the lack of quality match, I should just be happy we're 2-0 up and there's still 45 minutes of football to go, in which hopefully we can score more and keep a clean sheet. Here's hoping.

46' - Agger almost scores in the first minute! A lovely cross from Bellamy again and Agger heads it just wide!

47' - SUAREZ! It hit the crossbar and out! So close! He nicks the ball of Dunne and shoots straight at the bar!

49' - Bellamy is brought down by Petrov and the Welshman protests that Petrov should be yellow carded. Justified in my opinion.

52' - Glen Johnson has a shot from a good 25 yards out and Guzan tips it over the bar! Much better second half so far!

55' - They're showing Barry Bannan getting ready to come on, probably for Fabien Delph.

57' - Aston Villa Sub: Barry Bannan comes on for Emile Heskey, not Delph. N'Zogbia will probably link higher up now.

58' - SUAREZ! Off the post! How has he not scored yet! Suarez is let loose, onside, and Suarez, just outside of the box, dinks the ball over the defence and keeper, and it hit the post! Lovely perception from the Uruguayan!

60' - ADAM! Deflected off a Villa defender! A little selfish there from Adam, he passes two Villa shirts and Shelvey was free to his left, but he goes for glory and it his a claret shirt and for a corner.

61' - Wow, it's 13 shots to 11, according to the stats, in Liverpool's favour. Only 4 of Villa's have been on target mind, to Liverpool's 9.

63' - They just showed a replay of Suarez hitting the post, he controlled the ball with his hand anyway, so it's probably good that he didn't score. The lad has enough controversy at the moment as it is.

65' - Shelvey! Wide! The ball is over the top and Suarez lays it perfectly to Shelvey, who smashes it and it's high and wide. Could have done better than that if he composed himself.

68' - Another small spell of pressure for Villa. But they're not threatening too much with it.

71' - Not much to report at the moment, the game has eased again.

73' - Liverpool Sub: Luis Suarez comes off and Andy Carroll is coming on. He really needs a goal.

74' - Albrighton takes a shot and it deflects off Agger. The Villa are claiming a handball but it's hard to say without a replay.

75' - 15 minutes to go, the commentators are saying it took us this amount of time to score 2, now can Villa do it, I really doubt it, but sods law would suggest I'll eat my words now!

78' - Andreas Weimann is preparing to come on, he's a young Austrian striker who's yet to score for Villa.

79' - Aston Villa Sub: Fabien Delph comes off and Weimann takes his place.

80' - Jamie Carragher is about to come on to get some minutes. It's amazing how he's barely played this season, but maybe it is time for him to start to wind down. There will inevitably be a time when we need him later this season though.

82' - Liverpool Substitution: Carra comes on in place of Jonjo Shelvey, who has had a decent game.

85' - We're playing again on Wednesday by the way, against Wigan, don't miss that. I'll be covering that game too, although I won't be covering the Boxing Day match against Blackburn, or the Newcastle match after that. I try not to do much site work at Christmas I'm afraid.

87' - Liverpool Substitution: Dirk Kuyt comes on for Craig Bellamy, who for me has probably been the man of the match for me. Carra has taken the captains armband by the way, and that's all three Liverpool subs used.

89' - Charlie Adam concedes a free kick just outside the penalty box, towards the right. It hits the wall and out again.

90' - Three minutes of added time.

90+2' - 4 out of 5 games now for Villa not to score in. They've been absolutely dreadful today, I have a few relatives who are Villa fans and I feel sorry for them in honesty, nothing to cheer for, nothing going forward at the moment. The only good thing to say for them is they have Agbonlahor and Bent to come back to score goals for them, hopefully.

90+3' - Full time.

Our first back-to-back wins in nearly 3 months. It's something we need to start doing now, get on a winning streak rather than an undefeated streak. The good news is we got two goals from set pieces very quickly. The bad news is that we didn't build on that, it felt at the time like we were about to thrash Villa, but we put the foot off the gas for whatever reason. The start of the second half was great again, with Suarez hitting the post and woodwork. But in the end, we won again which is great, we're back in sixth place which is great, and we have another away match against Wigan on Wednesday, where hopefully we can win three in a row before taking on Newcastle which will be a very interesting match. That's it from me, enjoy the rest of your day.

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