Johnny the Mediocre Human: Comics about Duke University in the 90's http://portermason.com/johnny Johnny the Mediocre Human is a comic strip that appeared daily in the Duke University Chronicle from 1997 through 1999. It also appeared in a nascent, larval form in school newsletters at Frank W. Cox High School in Virginia Beach, VA in 1993 and 1994. It’s about Duke in the late 90’s, so there’s plenty of Blue Devil-centric references, but it’s also just about general college things. So if you didn’t go to Duke, don’t worry. You’ll still be able to get about 75% of the strips (theoretically). Fri, 09 Jul 2010 07:39:20 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/JohnnyTheMediocreHumanhttp://feedburner.google.com Prince Quirky is all on teh online http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/hyo1vZ-Tkec/ http://portermason.com/johnny/2000/07/08/prince-quirky-is-all-on-teh-online/#comments Sun, 09 Jul 2000 03:07:23 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/?p=3948 Continue reading →]]> At long last, all the glory that is Johnny the Mediocre Human is finally on the InforMation SuperHighWay. For the uninitiated, this is a comic strip that ran at Duke University in the 90′s.

I recommend jumping in at the beginnings of semesters:

Hit the archives page for more options.

I have a few copies left of the Johnny book I published back in 2000. Like really a few. Like I have about 25.

If you want one, buy it now for $14.99.

Or you can check out some of my other comics:

More about Johnny »


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/2000/07/08/prince-quirky-is-all-on-teh-online/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/2000/07/08/prince-quirky-is-all-on-teh-online/ Bob the pirate http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/9701T_k12_8/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/15/bob-the-pirate/#comments Sun, 15 Aug 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/15/bob-the-pirate/ comic strip | panel 1 - NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate. BEN: Jen! What’s the symbol for “radius” of a circle? | panel 2 - JEN: I dunno dear… Hey! Let’s ask Bob the Pirate! | panel 3 - JEN: Bob the Pirate, what’s the symbol for radius? BOB THE PIRATE: Aaaar! | panel 4 - JEN: Really? What’s the 18th letter of the alphabet? Conjugate “to be” for “they”. What’s the 1st person plural possessive pronoun? BOB THE PIRATE: Aaar! Aaar! Aaar! NARRATOR: Man. He could’ve added so much to the strip. (sigh) We’ll miss ya, Bob…


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/15/bob-the-pirate/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/15/bob-the-pirate/ Need a 93 http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/GyEgcOgyin4/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/01/need-a-93/#comments Sun, 01 Aug 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/01/need-a-93/ comic strip | panel 1 - JOHNNY: All right, in order to not fail this class, I need a 93 on this exam… | panel 2 - JOHNNY: It won’t be easy, but I’ve studied for a week, and I know the material cold. | panel 3 - JOHNNY: NOW… only one thing stands in my way… | panel 4 - JOHNNY: The test is out of 50. NOTE: OK. That’s it. See ya. – Porter


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/01/need-a-93/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/08/01/need-a-93/ Desert dementia http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/_Gac9nA2okI/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/15/desert-dementia/#comments Thu, 15 Jul 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/15/desert-dementia/ comic strip | panel 1 - JOHNNY: Why’s this rock ROUNDED? DR. PETER HAFF: Maybe spheroidal weathering? I’d have to look at it… | panel 2 - JOHNNY: It’s real SMOOTH, too… DR. PETER HAFF: Could be a ventifact, eroded by windblown sand… | panel 3 - JOHNNY: Ooo! And it’s PLIABLE! DR. PETER HAFF: That’s… that’s an old shoe. | panel 4 - JOHNNY: Mmhmm, so you think it’s sedimentary? DR. PETER HAFF: Johnny, when’s the last time you had any WATER?


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/15/desert-dementia/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/15/desert-dementia/ Sleeping under the stars http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/RwLaLFF1SWI/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/01/sleeping-under-the-stars/#comments Thu, 01 Jul 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/01/sleeping-under-the-stars/ comic strip | panel 1 - JOHNNY: Yessir, I am sleeping under the start tonight! It’s really the only way to camp out, I… | panel 2 - JOHNNY: Hey, look! Mountain lion tracks! COOL!! | panel 3 - A pause | panel 4 - JOHNNY: Yessir, sleeping in a locked van, really the ONLY way to camp out, I…


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/01/sleeping-under-the-stars/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/07/01/sleeping-under-the-stars/ Paying for Duke http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/SVIDkTz5gAc/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/15/paying-for-duke/#comments Tue, 15 Jun 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/15/paying-for-duke/ comic strip | panel 1 - MOM: Johnny, the financial aid papers came today. It doesn’t look great… JOHNNY: Oh, boy. | panel 2 - MOM: But we can do it; we’ll work more hours, won’t eat out… JOHNNY: I’ll get another job. | panel 3 - JOHNNY: WELL, it’s gonna take a BIT more. Now, I’ve given this a LOT of thought. You’re a HEALTHY kid, son… | panel 4 - MOM: And, you know, you only really NEED ONE kidney…


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/15/paying-for-duke/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/15/paying-for-duke/ STU and blackmail http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/_fFVk0pvduw/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/01/stu-and-blackmail/#comments Tue, 01 Jun 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/01/stu-and-blackmail/ comic strip | panel 1 - STU: Johnny! How are you? You have new mail! How about some solitaire? JOHNNY: Mmm… | panel 2 - STU: Long day? JOHNNY: Mmm… STU: Long week? JOHNNY: Mmm… | panel 3 - STU: I could also call up swimsuit.photos.com/nude/ again? I saved that password… | panel 4 - JOHNNY: I thought we deleted all record of that afternoon?! STU: I know you dd! I’ve got three gigs of the D: drive devoted just to blackmail!


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/01/stu-and-blackmail/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/06/01/stu-and-blackmail/ Put down the pencil http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/_Z0K1EcWBEM/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/22/put-down-the-pencil/#comments Thu, 22 Apr 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/22/put-down-the-pencil/ comic strip | panel 1 - JOHNNY: So. It’s all me. So how do I end it? | panel 2 - GOD: Just put down the pencil. JOHNNY: Pencil? I don’t- | panel 3 - A pause | panel 4 - A pause


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/22/put-down-the-pencil/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/22/put-down-the-pencil/ Jokes about beer http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/Cj7Z8uWqz-s/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/21/jokes-about-beer/#comments Wed, 21 Apr 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/21/jokes-about-beer/ comic strip | panel 1 - GOD: It’s ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have. | panel 2 - GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge. | panel 3 - JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl. | panel 4 - GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don’t over-analyze things.


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/21/jokes-about-beer/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/21/jokes-about-beer/ It's all just you http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/JohnnyTheMediocreHuman/~3/xbpixLxiNsk/ http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/20/it-s-all-just-you/#comments Tue, 20 Apr 1999 14:00:00 +0000 Porter Mason http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/20/it-s-all-just-you/ comic strip | panel 1 - JOHNNY: God! YOU stopped Disney from ruining the strip? GOD: Johnny, you know I don’t have the legal backing to stop Disney. The whole “Disney” thing was never even true, was it? | panel 2 - JOHNNY: Was it, Johnny? | panel 3 - JOHNNY: You made it ALL up. In fact, everything in this strip, every character, it’s all just YOU. | panel 4 - JOHNNY: What tipped you off, God, the freakin’ TITLE? GOD: Quiet you!


]]> http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/20/it-s-all-just-you/feed/ 0 http://portermason.com/johnny/1999/04/20/it-s-all-just-you/