JohnnyTampa Says...

Bob Hey Commitment Tattoo Shops of St. Pete

2013-03-11T16:25:00.002-04:00

Help a buddy out and if your looking for the Best Tattoo Shop in St. Petersburg, FL Contact Bob Hey at Commitment Tattoo He has done 1/2 of my Left arm sleeve including my Packers Tatt as well as the Dragon and fill in work and I couldnt be happier. Check him out: CommitmentTattoos.com

My Fish is Dieing!

2012-02-06T14:55:00.004-05:00

clue whats going on with this Chiclid? Look at the Mouth and his body.

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Back at it.

2011-09-25T22:41:00.003-04:00

Funny how lack of time dictates lack of keeping up on this blog. For obvious reasons this blog is near the bottom of my priority list. Partly because I type about 20 words a minute, and partly due to the large number of readers subscribed to the blog (3 I believe it says at the bottom of which Im pretty sure I make up 2 of them).

So here is what my top 5 for Sunday 9/25/11.

#1 Barack Obama ( Read the archives I spen much of my time complaining about this idiot)
Andjust to give him the benefit of the doubt, the guy isnt all that smart. So Im at the point of simply not wasting my time on the the guy cause he bit off much more than he is capable of handeling.

#2 Herman Cain - Right now I'm leaning even more "the Godfather" side, specially being he won the Florida Straw Poll. I still like his 9-9-9 taxing idea and being that Ron Paul isn't electable He'll get my vote. Mind you I have liked him since day 1. Mind you I strongly support the Tea Party.

#4 Packers. Scary how good this team is.

#5 Rays. Talk about what might be the LUCKIEST team ever to get into the playoffs. If the Sox Lose (13th Inning right now) The Rays can win to be in. Sox fave Baltimore.

First Post This Year

2009-05-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

I Got Nothing. Just figured I'm make a post.

The Red Sox Suck... Thats It.

NCAA Tourney

2009-03-16T17:20:00.003-04:00

Red Sox Loss ... Blame Steven King!!

2008-10-20T01:19:00.003-04:00

All Right Red Sox Fans, its time for you to all shut the hell up. You was spanked by the Rays and Matt Garza and David Price with the game winner from Red Sox Country's own Rocco Baldelli. So the time is now for you to shut the hell up.

Now that the Rays have beaten the Red Sox, I will tell you this. Blame Steven King. The author is simply put a RUDE ASSHOLE.

Mrs. Tampa is a big fan of this fugly monster and it just so happened he sat in our Box during Game 7 at the Trop. My wife saw him and wanted to meet him so we walked up 10 rows (he sat in seats 1-2 just like we do on the aisle) and Kim told him and I quote : "Mr King, I am a huge fan of your work, I own all your books and my favorite movie is "the shinning". it would be huge to me if I could take a picture with you".. He flat out told her her and I quote "I don't take pictures. I'm at the ballpark". Then looked away. I laughed and was happy for 2 reasons. 1.) I will save money as my wife wont but his brand of Steven King garbage ever again(Thanks Mr. Steven King you jag ov). 2.) BAD KARMA was created by the rude way he did that!! Now about 10 other people in our box came in and said he was an asshole to them also.

It's funny because Brian Knobbs "Nasty Boy" who also sat near us during this series
had no problems taking pictures with Sox fans (Even when they would throw beer and peanuts at him. Same with Dick Vitale and John Cena and Little Wayne for that matter.

Mind you all this took place about 1 hour before opening pitch so fuck Steven King and his sick mind. PS- he is easily the ugliest, gawkiest, dirtiest looking man ever.

Unfortunately, 90% of all Sox fans are Bandwaggon Jumpers that are not baseball fans. 1 of whom will actually reads this. I have season tix at Tropicana Field on the Visitors side in the field side box and have to deal with stupid, crude, rude and violent fans at every game. and will tell you this Sox fans steal the prize for Jack-Assness. Even the assholes that paid $400 a ticket to sit next to me on stub hub during Game 1 and 2.

So with that, Steven King is a mutt and the Red Sox are on a flight back to Logan. Good Riddance Jerks. But blame Steven King for his rudeness to Rays Fans and being a typical Red Sox asshole fan. Bad Karma caused the loss.

See you at World Series Game 1!!

World Series - Sox? Red Sox Suck! Hello Rays!

2008-10-16T21:19:00.005-04:00

Rays. That's all I need to say.

I may be a little early on this post but no freakin way the cahx are gonna come back. Not gonna happen.

PS- I have had season Tix all year and now have WS tix in prime time location down low in 119. So even if I trade the Yanks Johnny Tampa 69 for a Rays Johnny Tampa 69 That will NOT be considered a band wagon jumper.

Remember I live 5 Minutes from the Trop and go to about 60 Games a year.

PS- Anyone one want a Ticket for the WS Go to Stub Hub and grab 2 for your self at $950 each (Section 119) I will be there with the Misses Tampa.

5-0 and see yeah Latah Red Cahx.

I havent said shit all year, but you cahx fans can go Fuck Yourself and now the rays are the present and the Cahx are the Past just like the Yanks.

Those of you with your Cahx Word Series tix, send those fuckers back punks.

Later Bitches! And Fuck The Cahx
- A pissed Off Johnny Tampa

Fox Sports Speaks....

2008-08-14T15:34:00.002-04:00

Robert Roveta is the Man. Must buy him a drink one day.

A thank you to Benjamin Charles

2008-07-26T21:50:00.002-04:00

A thank you for the CondomDepot.com (The best place online to buy condoms)
Priceless is the Chugging of the Mickeys and the look on his face when he realizes that a.) Mickeys tastes awful b.) in true TV style you cant drop a burp while filling.

So here is a plug for him and maybe 5 of the readers of this blog will Show the professional pizza constructor from Waterford, CT (Incidentally the State that CondomDepot.com was Born in - Plainville, CT)a little love here is his website and thanks Brother!

JT

Yahoo Music

2008-07-25T10:54:00.002-04:00

Never seen this before but Yahoo actually has something cool about it.. I was wondering what Jerry Yang was doing with the 1/4 Million dollars or so I give him annually. Apparently he isn't gilding Solid Gold Fortune Cookies like a thought...

This Music Video Thin on Yahoo Music is much better than the shitty Quality on You Tube.. So take that Google!

T. Boone Pickens Plan for Wind Power

2008-07-22T11:30:00.006-04:00

Anyone that thinks the energy situation in this country (And Across the World For That Mater) is no big deal or bitches that gas prices are too high should read little about the T. Boone Pickens plan for energy. Boone Pickens (Better known as the BP behind the BP gas stations) is out with his plan for saving the country and just did a spot on CNBC. Here is the just of what he says...

When asked why he is "lobbying" Washington (being that he is all about the money)...
"I'm not doing this for the money. I have plenty of money! I'm an American and I'm worried about my country."

He continued..

"70% of our oil is imported at a cost of $700 Billion a year, and its killing our economy."

Then explained his partial solution..

"38% of our fuel consumption is in government fleets and delivery trucks" and T. Boone wants the government to mandate that these fleets switch to natural gas. That will save the country $300 Billion a year and cut our dependency by 40%.

Then added..
"We are going to break our selfs on energy. At which point the candidates would not need to bother talking about Medicare or education because the country will have no money to spend on either."

My solution is a little simpler... Raise gas prices to $10 a gallon for UNLEADED GASOLINE. You will see that people will start to use Public Transportation or maybe ride a bike or walk (I'm as guilty as anyone on the gas thing). People will stop buying it and the towel heads will have to lower its price. PERIOD. remember its supply and demand. If you raise the price to $5 a gallon and people still waste it (like they are doing) that means you need to raise it to $10!

Boone Pickens is a genius when it comes to oil and energy all together and he reminds me of Ross Perot. I's like to see him run for president because these politicians are all jack-asses and its time for a Business Man to run this country like a business. Firing half the government would be a good start!

Here is Boones website he's been pushing all over TV:
www.Pickensplan.com

Here is some of his plan.. If you do not understand the Oil/Energy situation that we are in our if you do not understand why we we pay so much for gas .. Watch these educational videos (Video 2 is a great teaching tool that Osamma my Mamma should watch.. You Gotta Love This Guy!

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

PART 5

So in closing... Boone put on a clinic earlier this month on Squak Box CNBC. If you watch this whole series (all hour worth) you will be an Energy/Oil Expert. This man is the smartest out there..

Bobby Murcer - Yankee for Life

2008-07-13T19:11:00.006-04:00

What a sad day for baseball fans everywhere. Yesterday one of the greatest Yankee players passed away of brain cancer. True Murcer did not have the numbers of say Mantle or DiMaggio, but his mark on Yankee fans everywhere was just as powerful.

I was too young to have seen him play but Bobby was the TV guy we watched when I was a kid watching Yankee Games. Him and Rizzuto. What great memories. I still remember Bobby taking off Rizzuto's hat and playing with his hair on air in the broadcast booth. I wish I can find only find that clip...

Watching him during the old timers game showing off his Temporary Tats (The Superman Logo / Barbwire) flexing his biceps to Jason Giambi.

And the Game winning HR Giambi hit and the call From Bobby with his slurred speech was another one of those memories that I will never forget.

And although I didn't see it, The memorable 5RBI (the only runs scored in the game) he put up after the death of his best friend Thurman Munson was one of the most underrated feats mentioned that has happened in baseball..

It wasn't until he left the booth for treatment that you realized how much you liked him as a broadcaster.. And then when he came back! Thank god! Boy did I miss listening to his perspective! Hes cured! Bobby's Back!

For true Yankee fans the passing of this great Yankee will be one of those "I remember where I was when Kennedy was assassinated" type of moments.

I am watching YES as I type this and how many people they have on talking about Bobby. And one thing is for sure.... He was a great guy that everyone loved and many people looked at Bobby as their hero. Truly a sad day... Specially on the eve of the All Star Game at Yankee Stadium.

Toby Keith - Tampa Ford Amphitheater

2008-07-09T22:30:00.016-04:00

Toby Keith at the Ford Amphitheater with Montgomery Gentry

June 28th 2008

Nothing like a little good old fashioned Cowboy Music and Flag Flying to pump up your blood pressure. Specially when its Toby Keith singing songs about kicking the shit out of our Towel Headed Enemies. Specially when the Tampa Dime Piece Factor is about 4-1!!!

This was a fantastic show. I enjoyed the most out of the 6 Pack of Miller Light I drank on the way up and the $11 "oil cans" i drank at the show. We followed that up with a run to the Dallas Bull for a few more long necks. Wifey Tampa was driving the tricked out F250. So I sported my Ford Tee and rolled old school.

I am retired from the old rock shows. Motley Crue. Been there done that. Kiss. Same show (although a good one) every time. Van Halen. AWFUL (See the videos I posted). and I have come to this realization.... Concerts is about Broads as much as it is the Music and getting drunk. I haven't seen a truly hot chick (Dime Piece) at a rock show since 1996. PERIOD. Maybe 1 per show. The music is loud and usually sounds like shit without ear plugs to filter out the highs. Not needed at the country show. PLUS the chicks are MUCH MUCH hotter.

Toby Keith and Montgomery Gentry was a case point in this theory.

So Here it is.. At the gym I listen to Crue, Puddle of Mudd, Van Halen, Preist... But in the car I now listen to Country (which I did back in the late 80's + Early 90's -- Never liked Grunge). Its better music period.

Now I got seats for Kenny Chesney( Center Orchestra Row 3) - Rascle Flats (Center Orch Row 10) (Who I do NOT like) -- And Brooks & Dunn (Center Orc Row 8).... I will keep you posted and post more pictures of upcoming shows..

So here are the photos from Toby Keith in Tampa on 6-28.... Had shitty seats as usual.

#1 The Top 4 Reasons To See A Country Concert...

Montgomery Gentry. Excellent.

Johnny and Wifey Tampa Time for a frickin diet!!

This is the crowd for Montgomery Gentry!! Frickin Sick was like 80,000 people!

The crowd for Toby Keith... Was like 124,000 people sold out!
(the guy looking at the camera - Hear the pigs squealing?)

Great Stage was the front grill of an F250 -
End of show with him playing Angry America Made me cry actually.

Wifey Tampa... Taking Pictures of Toby Keith's Penis??

Great Show..

Fireworks when the curtain fell.. Ala Kiss..

OK Bring the smack... I can handle it!
JohnnyTampa Over & Out Bitches.

Amazon.com - To Hell with those scumbags!

2008-07-04T00:30:00.004-04:00

I use Amazon for Advertising my business. We do a small amount of business through them and they are very difficult to deal with. Although they make about a gaziilion dollars a year, the wonderful little world that is Amazon Land has no Telephones! So even though I am a Direct Vendor of theirs, I can only contact them by "Email" or an old school Western Union Wire Gram.

I always think that Jeff Bezos sits behind a curtain like a midget "wizard" counting his billions and looking at cheap classified for a new 1998 Toyota Carola with low miles.

Why Am I Bringing This Up? I just got a random email from Amazon... I have no Frickin clue what in tarnation this JagOv is even talkin about.... This guy is a real good salesmen. Contacing me out of the blue with jibbrish that makes no sense to me.. Read this crap...

> Dwight Wayne wrote:
>>
>> John,
>>
>>
>>
>> With this innovative new service, you send inventory directly to Amazon where it is stored and managed in a secure, climate controlled facility. When orders are received, Amazon will professionally pick, pack and ship the product direct to your customer.
>>
>> Amazon.com processes millions of orders a year while consistently ranking as one of the most trusted and highest customer satisfaction rated e-commerce companies. To maintain this unique combination, we have developed one of the most advanced online order processing and fulfillment operations in the world. From the advanced web-to-warehouse high speed picking and sorting system to our complete shipping carrier integration, Amazon's technology results in your customers getting what they ordered, when they ordered it.
>>
>>
>>
>> Regards,
>>
>> Dwight
>>
>>
>> ....................................................................................................................
>> | Dwight W**** | Sales Representative, Merchant Services |
>> | Amazon Services - an Amazon.com Company |
>> | ph: 206.266.**** | dwight**@amazon.com |
>> | 705 5th Ave South | Seattle, WA 98104 |
>> | www.amazon.com

==========================================================

So here is my response to this guy... This is straight from the heart...
==========================================================

John F wrote:
> AMAZON is the Devil and Jeff Bezos even laughs and looks like Satan. Aiming to put all etailers out of business. Kind of like how Home Depot & Lowes killed the old school local hardware store. Jeff is Satan and I renounce Satan. You are working for the devil and this is bad.
>
>Don't think its bad Dwight? To work for the Devil? Then go and Pick up a Copy of Devils Advocate and and Ask Keanue-nanoo-nanoo Reeves... it plain old fucked him up and his marriage to his hot wife Charlize Theron (Who by the way has a wonderful set of titties)
>
>Go say 5 Hail Mary's and 16 Our Fathers then take a bath in Holy Water. Then cook up yourself some of those old fashion Grits, like your momma used to make. Only then Dwight, will you be able to also renounce Satan and can be accepted into the Kingdom of the Lord.
>
>
>God Bless You Dwight,
> ~ John

================================

Maybe he will scratch his head like I did wondering what the fuck he was talking about.

~ JT ---- Ciao Bitches

R.I.P. George Carlin

2008-06-24T00:10:00.003-04:00

Where to start... Me and Mrs. Tampa have seen Carlin 3 or 4 times live. He actually is the only comedienne I have ever seen live other than some no names at the local comedy club..

Pre 9-11 Carlin was VERY funny. Tasteless, yes. But in a funny "He's kinda right" kinda way. Post 9-11 not so much. Saw him 1 time about 6 months after 9-11 at the Oakdale in Wallingford, CT.
He paused a mostly hilarious set to try out some material for an upcoming HBO special. And true to Carlin Form he dived head first right into 9-11. BAD MOVE. The Material was classless and pissed off a good many of the people in attendance Myself included. Afterall Wallingford is a mere Hour outside of the city. Wrong Place Wrong Time.

He lost a fan in me and we never bothered seeing him live or even bothered watching the old man on HBO again.

One thing I will remember though, and this is much more special if you happen to know one, is the classic Tooooooooodd bit. This was just one of those things that was "Kinda Right" especially if you know a Tooooooooodd...

And let me be honest on this... And Carlin would be the first to point this out...
The Death Watch Continues, Another Celebrity Will Pass in the coming month due to a Heart Attack (Luckily I am no Celebrity) Russert, Carlin, .. Who's Next?

Well in True Johnny Tampa Form I have some Ideas and Some Odds....

Artie Lange (Howard Stern Show) 1-5
Michael Moore (Asshole) 10-1
John Madden 15-1
Rubben (American Idol) 5-1
Fidel Castro EVEN
Billy Graham EVEN

Place Your Bets!

~ JT

Don't Touch My Sauerkraut!

2008-06-21T02:07:00.003-04:00

Only on Who's Line Is It anyways... Its always when a show gets canceled that you realize its actually comic gold... "It's.. Just.. Cabbage!"

How great was Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie and Wayne Brady? They were the greatest comedy team troupe ever. this show would have done real well up against SNL and Mad TV as neither is even close to being this funny. And if they did special guests (Like Robin Williams Below) and musical guests they could have easily done a Live 1 Hour or 1-1/2 Hour show that would be way funnier than anything on TV.

The Sauerkraut Clip...

Special Guest Robin Williams..

Jeter - Most Over Rated Player??

2008-06-20T21:01:00.006-04:00

In response to "The King" with this bullshit...

YOU LIKE how once again. SPORTS ILLUSTRATED polled current major league players and asked them who the most OVER-RATED player is...ONCE AGAIN...VOTED MOST OVER-RATE BY HIS PEERS.. DERK JETER... JUST THE FACTS!!

This is obviously some more Red Sox fan SI reporters bullshit without any credibility other than that of the shittiest sports publication ever. Now lets be honest with ourselves here.. How credible is any sports rag that offers a Video Tape of the last championship your team won, a Mock Neck T-Shirt with SI emblazed over your left man tit and a box of Rice-a-Roni, the San Fransico Treat, with every paid subscription.

I have never received the free swag because the Magazine is so shitty I never bothered paying for it. BUT now SI and its investigative reporters like bullshit back pager Rick Riley (who knows less about sports then my Right Testicle but he is funny) polled Major Leagues and GET THIS.. Derek Jeter is MOST overrated player in Baseball.. Now lets add some credibility to this article by letting the world know that #3 on the list is the OVER-RATED 3Time MVP Alex Rodriguez.. Lets also note that another SI Poll was "Who would you build a franchise around" and Jeter was #2 behind A-Rod. Who the hell are you kidding kid? I like how that makes sense. Most Over-rated @@@BUT@@@ lets build our franchise around him. Sports Illustrated, the worst Rag ever is the only publication that can come up with such garbage content and will get subscribers. But how would they do if they stopped giving away all that free swag and toaster ovens.

NO WAY IN HELL IS JETER OVER-RATED. He is a first ballot hall of famer, is approaching Yogi Berra in World Series Rings and lets not forget 3,000 hits (Maybe 4,000 when he retires), and is in the all time offensive leaders in batting for a franchise that includes DiMaggio, Mantle, Gehrig, Ruth and even Alvaro Espinosa.

And as anyone who watches EVERY Yankee baseball game knows that there is NO ONE in the majors that heas EVER been as clutch as Jeter when a game is on the line. No One in baseball that makes the little hustle plays that do not show up in a score card. NO ONE in baseball that can go the other way with a pitch to pick up a guy from 1st. NO ONE in baseball that can make that patented Jeter throw going toward third and throwing a strike to get a guy out.

But that is what happened to baseball. If you cant blast 30HR a year you have to be overrated but you're still the guy everyone wants to build a franchise around...

I think the most over rated player is Jason Veritek.

Mostly because he sports a "C" on his uniform (This isn't hockey Ass Holes). The C probably stands for "Cock" Or "Cum". Honestly what ever the Nation thinks it means in baseball, wearing it is gayer than Harvey Firestein.

AND THATS PRETTY FUCKIN GAY.

~ Johnny Tampa Out Bitches

MLB All Star Game 2008 - Yankee Stadium

2008-06-19T21:35:00.003-04:00

Someone please explain to me how come this years All Star game is not loaded with Yankee players? How can it be that the American League Team

(WOW Carl Crawford just blasted a Grand Slam against the Cubs in the b7 and now BJ upton just hit a Stand Up Triple WHAT AN EXCITING TEAM!!! Now I am pissed I gave up my tickets for tonights game!!! I cant even type as Hinske just drove in Upton with a double! Three minutes ago the Rays were losing 3-1 now its 3-7)...

OK so

(Hinske steals third)

I do not understand how the club with the highest attendance in the American League averaging around 50k per game can not have voted in Giambi at first, Damon to Outfield

(Longoria Sac Fly Hinske Scores 3-8 can you say S-W-E-E-P )

And Posada to catch... Lets be honest here, Giambi has turned his season around and should be ahead of the crappy Youkalis.

(Jesus... Floyd now with a double.)

And Damon is just behind A-Rod as League Leader in Average and is hotter than liquid glass. And Posada is arguably the best catcher in baseball. At least out of the manly ones that don't wear a Hockey C on there chest.

So in a nutshell here is my All Star Picks (And Yes I voted 25 Times As Allowed)
1st - J. Giambi, NYY
2nd - A. Iwamura, TB
SS - J. Bartlett, TB (Jeter is already a lock so why waste a vote)
3rd - A Rod
Out Field - J. Hamilton - J. Damon - C. Crawford
Catcher - Posada

I picked no-one for the NL because honestly I have no clue who 50% of these guys are...

So bottom Line. Why are the Yank Fans at the Stadium not Voting?? I did and it would only be right that the GREATEST STADIUM IN ALL SPORTS. THE ONLY ONE WITH HISTORY THAT INCLUDES, MANTLE, GEHRIG, DiMAGGIO, RUTH, RIZZUTO, JACKSON, FORD, BERRA, STENGEL, AND EVEN MEL ALLEN should be closed by fielding Yank players.

And one can only hope that the normally classless Terry Francona would have Mariano Rivera be the AL starter for this game and have him pitch 1 inning. This would be the way this game should be played and the best Closer Ever should be the one to throw that first inning.

Well lets see if those Yanks fans will get it done by Jul 2nds deadline. They have 7 Home Games @50,000 Average thats 350,000 votes for the guys above minn. Get Out an Vote!!

Home for Sale in Lutz, FL

2008-06-08T02:59:00.004-04:00

Here is a link to a website for a House for sale in Lutz, Florida. If anyone is looking for a kick ass house with a Large 2.89 Acre lot, that is fully gated. Visit the site..

This property was listed by a Realtor in Tampa. She listed the home at $675,000 claimed she could bring in Tampa Bay Buc players (Lie) to look at it and then she picked the price of $675.

6 Months ago I called her and told her to reduce the price she said thats a good Idea we should lower it to $650.

When asked last week why there has been no action on it.. She Blamed the owners for Setting the price to high.. The owners (ME) never even mentioned a price to her. She set the f'in price. Basically she blamed everything and every one as to why she had no action in a year. Most of it being my fault. My greed for over pricing the home according to the expert that set the price.

So anyone in the market to sell a home around Tampa, be warned I had this Awful experience with Nancy Ward of Keller Williams. This lady is in my opinion the WORST Realtor I ever dealt with and I have sold or bought 5 Houses in the last 4 Years (10 Agents). One thing that really bothered me was that she would
(supposedly) show the house when the Lawn looked Awful, but wouldn't call me to tell me there where 5ft weeds growing in the beds. Smart. I went to the house one day after her showing to find a dead Spider (Big) on the floor by the front door she could pick this up?? Lazy and certainly not worth 6% ($40,000).

~ JT Out

John's Evolution Back To Youth

2008-06-02T19:37:00.003-04:00

Why I laugh from this type of shit is beyond me.

A Song for the Ladies - Watch more free videos

Are you kidding me? Eruption on Violin..

2008-05-27T11:21:00.002-04:00

Ok I think I have about seen everything at this point. I'm in Day 208 of my YouTube addiction. I try not to post too much shit from YouTube but this one was interesting...

What in the Wide World Of Sports is this??

Yankees / Red Sox Who is better?? A Scentific View.

2008-04-24T19:40:00.004-04:00

I am tired of the bull shit about "Yankees Suck" and "Red Sox Suck" and "Manny Being Manny" and Jerry Remy "Is The Best 2nd Baseman Ever" and "Dwight Evans Hall Of Fame rip off" and "Yankee Stadium Doesn't have a Yellow Pole Named After a Guy With Under 20 HRs (Johnny Pesky)"...

Enough..

So I decided to use some practicality in determining which franchise is better. And I am gonna dive deeper than shallow comments like "Socks is not spelled Sox" or "Bawston Sucks Cahck"..
I'm Digging Deeper! Using Complicated Mathmatical formula's like + (Plus) and =(Equals) and -(Minus)..

Sawks Fans fans pay attention.. I know ya confused and would ratha take ya cah and drive ta Fawl Rivah find a Packy and drink some bee-yeas withe ya pal Sully from Quincy.. Ya know tha Qincy Que-ah that was dating ya sistah.. This math is ratha easy enough fa even you ta fal-al. Grab a Sode-er and he-ah we go..

I am not "shoo-ah" "weah" this is going to go so lets try the "Ben Franklin Balance Sheet" to figure it out.

You probably know, Benjamin Franklin was one of the wisest and most respected men in history.Wouldn't you agree? Sure he was. He was an Inventor, Scholar, Revolutionary and a founding father.. He even flew kites in lighting storms. So not only was he Smart.. He was also Damn Tough. Like Chuck Norris Tough!

Whenever good old Ben was faced with a tough decision - much like the one we are deciding today today. He would take a plain piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and put a plus sign on one half, and a minus sign on the other.

He discovered that by listing all the positive elements on the plus side of the paper, and the negative things on the minus side, the answer would become obvious. That makes a lot of sense and I am sure that Yankee Fans and Sox Fans would agree..

So let's borrow Ben Franklin's method for just a moment. Since we are having a tough time deciding this.

Lets list the reasons the Yankees are Far Superior, then we'll list the reasons the Sox are far superior. Fair enough?

YANKEES Reasons | RED SOX Reasons
1923 1903
1927 1912
1928 1915
1932 1916
1936 1918
1937 2004
1938 2007
1939
1941
1943
1947
1949
1950
1951
1952
1953
1956
1958
1961
1962
1977
1978
1996
1998
1999
2000

Lets now count the reasons the reasons The Yankees Suck By Counting the Red Sox Column. Don't sweat it sox fans you can use both your hands... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 7. Ok there are Seven Reasons why the Red Sox are better than the Yankees.

Ok Lets know count the Reasons the Yankees are better than the Red Sox. We can do this by counting the Yankees Column. Know Sox fans "Ya betta get yah Motha and Fatha to help count". Start with "yah Motha's" hands.. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 Know get your fathers hands... 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.. Now Your hands.. 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26.. 26. There are 26 reasons why the Yanks are better.

Now for some simple math. Lets use our fingers and take away 7 Yankee fingers. 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18. 18

So real simple there are 18 REASONS WHY THE RED SOCKS SUCK.

EIGHTEEN!!

So Who is the World's Best Guitarist??

2008-04-02T14:09:00.002-04:00

This questions has gotten much debate in my life with other dudes that play guitar. I always thought the best guitarist in the world was either Eddie Van Halen or Stevie Ray Vaughn. Both of which I idolized as a child learning to sling the rosewood. In High School the argument was made that Jimmy Paige was superior to EVH and everyone was forced to take a side. I took the Eddie side and to this day can't stand Led Zeppelin. Because of this dislike for Jimmy Paige..

So my position (Until Today) has been Eddie for pure kick assness and SRV for the soul he put into his playing....

Before I get down to it here are my favorite Guitar players in no particular order..

EVH, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Vernon Reid (Living Color), Pete Townsend, Vito Bratta (White Lion), Nino Bettencourt (Extreme), Hendricks and Stevie Vai.. Also Kenny Wayne Sheppard..

Then today I was watching a youTube of Eddie Van Halen RIPPING in back in the day. (This is a sick guitar solo) See Below... And came across a video of, in my opinion, the World's Best Guitarist....... STANLEY JORDAN! "Flair Jordan" if you will.. This dude is AMAZING playing 2 guitars at once?? Are you kidding me?? Below is a video of him taking a god awful song (Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven) and making it UNBELIEVABLE!! Be sure to watch the solo where he makes everyone look foolish..

Phil Baroni -Vs- Kala Kolohe Hose Fight Video

2008-03-16T18:47:00.002-04:00

Phil Baroni is still one of my favorite fighters and I am proud to sponsor him with CondomDepot.com. This dude is a kick ass Italian (as am I) and am sure he will bounce back from this 5th round KO.

Dear Elliot Spitzer,

2008-03-14T16:42:00.003-04:00

L I hope my little note finds you well!

I just wanted to let you know that you have let me down around the world. Not listen L, I always thought of you as some type of bafoon, but then had a change of mind when I heard that you was gettin' some. We all know that your wife was not the most attractive women and when word came that you have been bangin' hookers, we were all proud.

Specially when you are dishing out upwards of $5,000 for a screw!! She must of been one great Piece of Ass!

Then I came across a picture of said prostitute "Kristen".

And Mr. Former Governor Elliot Spitzer, I was let down. Yeah she's OK looking but at $5,000? Not to mention your reputation, your family, and your CAREER.

Now I must go and check my records under your various aliases to see home many condoms we have shipped you "Discreetly" over the last 10 years. I just wonder what you did when you couldn't afford $5,000 and what some of those skanks looked like.