John's Universe

More Melody

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:54:00 +0000

Here are two pictures of Melody. For no special reason other than they've been sitting on my thumb drive for a while.

Uncyclopedia Article

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 09:21:00 +0000

I liked this Uncyclopedia Article. It is simple, and I found it funny. No more needs to be said.

Health Concerns

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 12:24:00 +0000

OK, I don't have dengue or tuberculosis. I had a fever for a week. If I had dengue, my platelet count would have been below 150,000 when the fever broke. When it did, it was 152,000, and still dropping.
So the doctor here said "Look, you don't have dengue, it's just a virus!"
WHOOOOOOPEEE! I still felt like crap. It sure felt like I had dengue. It took me at least a week or more afterwards to recover.

They took a chest x-ray, because I wasn't getting as much air from one lung as another. There was an abnormality in the upper portion of the x-ray, which seemed to indicate possible tuberculosis. So they took another one, and said the abnormalities were "artifactual". Which must mean that someone sneezed on the original x-ray, or they forgot to clean the lense.

I wish I could have been in Taiping, so that I could have Dr. Philip check me out. He's a first rate doctor. He would know exactly what was happening. Instead, I get the doctor at he hospital clinic who sees untold numbers of patients a day.

Well, at least I am still alive, and feeling better!

What Can You Say at a Time Like This?

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:50:00 +0000

There are times when you just don't know what to say. I'm talking about when a tragedy happens to a friend, and you know that there's nothing you can say that is going to make things any better. If you do say anything, you could make things much worse than saying nothing at all. But then you know you should say something, just because the person is a friend, and you want them to know that you care. So do you say something, and potentially ruin what may be a temporary peace in an emotional crucible, or stay quiet and have that person think that you don't care?

Here's the situation:

Trien wants me to write an e-mail to Jhuday (pronounced jew-die) the woman who introduced us.

The back story: Somehow, by the grace of God, I was able to get a teaching job in the Philippines, in Cebu. What I was doing was helping to get an English school catering to Koreans and Japanese started. Part of my duties included interviewing and hiring qualified teachers. Most of the applicants were young attractive females just out of college. One of them was Jhuday, who was a pretty, intelligent, bubbly, but somewhat flighty young woman of 22. I liked her, and was attracted to her, and it turned out the feeling was mutual. It seemed like there was the possibility of something more than a professional relationship. After a few weeks, I knew she still liked me, but was purposely pulling away from me.

Later I found out why. She had a crush on me, but figured I was too old for her. (I was 43 at the time). It was something I was thinking myself. You have to figure if both parties think the same thing, then it must be true.

She had a friend, a classmate in college, who was older than her. Jhuday had been able to finish her schooling. The friend, who was working fulltime, didn't have the money to continue. Jhuday had been talking to her friend about me, but her friend thought she was talking about someone else, another classmate of theirs.

Meanwhile, Jhuday talked highly of her classmate. Her friend was cute, intelligent, a good woman, and older. Then she seemed to have an epiphany, one of those moments when something so obvious occurs to you that you look like you've been slapped in the face with a brick:

"Why don't I give you her cellphone number, and you two can become text mates? You two would be perfect together!"

OK, OK, I had heard similar things before. I wasn't too excited about getting her friends number. I didn't go running around the room in joy and start making wedding plans. I didn't even bother contacting her friend until Jhuday asked me a few days later if I was going to text her friend. So I sent a text, not expecting much to come of it. Let it be said that the main reason I wasn't so hot on doing this was that I am without a doubt the worlds slowest texter. So we texted, and a lot of times her friend would fall asleep waiting for me to answer her text.

Eventually, though, my textmate and I met. How that came about, and what happened, is another story. Then we dated. Then we fell in Love. Then we decided to get married, had a baby . . .

As for Jhuday, it seems that she ended up finding a textmate of her own a year or so later, a friend of a friend up in Manila. Someone who had an epiphany, who thought they would be "perfect together". Eventually her and her textmate met, fell in love- and things went the way they were supposed to. They got married.

Jhuday got a job teaching on Santa Rosa, a little Island across from Mactan, which is made up mostly of nature preserve. Conditions there are primitive at best, a real hardship post, with no electricity at night, no internet connection, no telephones, etc.

We didn't know this. All we knew was that she seemed to have disappeared. Trien kept texting her and writing her e-mails, but didn't get any answer, so we were concerned. It seemed like she disappeared after she got married. Of course, my overactive imagination got the best of me, but I never said anything to my wife.

Finally Jhuday got back to civilization, checked her e-mail, and we got the good news. She was pregnant. Not only pregnant, but she was carrying twins!

Of course, we were happy for her. Especially since we had been hoping for twins ourselves.

Then she went back to Santa Rosa, and we didn't hear anything from her.

The due date was some time around the end of May, so Trien sent out another e-mail, to see how everything was going, and if she had the babies yet.

The answer tore at our hearts, considering what we had been through ourselves with our first two pregnancies. Even now, I am starting to get teary eyed when I think of her answer.

The babies died before she delivered them. They passed away sometime during the 35th week. There was something called "intertwin discordancy." She felt no movement in her womb, went in for an ultrasound, and the doctor told her they were both dead. Six days later they induced labor, and she had to see her two little lifeless hopes and dreams being taken away gray and lifeless.

Unless you've gone through something similar yourself, like we did, you can have no idea what that feels like. Trien and I have been through something a bit similar, and I still can't imagine how much worse it must be for Jhuday.

At least with us, it happened at the end of the first trimester the first time. The second time, we were advised to terminate the pregnancy about six to eight weeks into it. Still, it was hard. You'd think that you were OK with it, that emotionally everything was fine, then suddenly you'd find yourself sitting there crying for no reason.

People would say things to try to make you feel better, but sometimes you just wanted them to shut up and leave you alone. You would be nice and everything, but still, it would have been better to say nothing at all. The thing is, you know they meant no harm, just wanted to help, and you knew that if you were them, you'd be doing and saying the same things.

Trien and I have talked things over. We decided the best thing to do is not to mention anything about the tragedy. She has sent Jhuday an e-mail letting her know we are back in Cebu, and hoping that maybe we can get together, and hoping all is well.

What else can you do?

I'm Baaaaaaaack!

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 12:32:00 +0000

I went on hiatus from writing this Blog for a while, but I am back. The strange thing that happened was that after I took a sabbatical from posting, I actually got a lot more hits on it than I did when I was actually posting 20+ times a month. I'm still scratching my head as to why. Hopefully, those of you who are stopping by to check out my most popular posts:

"When Was Jesus Born"
"How to Make a High Contrast Baby Mobile"
"Melody Proves That Dunstan Baby Language Doesn't Work"
and
"My Wife's Big Boobies"

Will look around and see more that you like, and return to see the latest ramblings and rantings of maybe not a beautiful mind, but a decent looking one.

(This is Melody in a dress celebrating her
Chinese heritage. We are at the local pho bo stand
in Ho Chi Minh City. She is blowing raspberries at Daddy.)

Cheers!

John

Duane Allman's Gravestone Quote

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 14:05:00 +0000

Sometimes inspiration comes in the most unusual ways and from the most unlikely of places. We went to SM City in Cebu.

The wife was looking after Melody, who was busy smiling at everybody before taking a quick nap. So I wandered into the Power Bookstore. There in the half price section was a book on rock stars grave sites. As I was flipping through it, I came across the final resting place of my favorite guitar god, Duane Allman. On his gravestone is the following quote, which came from something he wrote:

"I love being alive and I will be the best man I possibly can. I will take love wherever I find it and offer it to everyone who will take it. . . seek knowledge from those wiser and teach those who wish to learn from me."

I thought that was a pretty cool philosophy, and garbled it pretty badly when I tried to share it with Trien on the v-hire ride back to Lapu-Lapu City. She liked the garbled version, but I knew that the real quote was much better. So I had to run off to the Internet cafe, look it up, and share it with the rest of the world.

The George Bush Episode of the Teletubbies

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Tue, 18 Sep 2007 10:09:00 +0000

No, don't worry, we're never ever going to let Melody watch a single episode of the Teletubbies, because it will lead to serious mental impairment, and possible charges of abuse, later on in her life.

Speaking of having a serious mental impairment, I came across this George W. Bush episode of the Teletubbies. It has recently been confirmed that George W. gets all his daily briefings from the Teletubbies. Tinky Winky tells him about foreign policy, Po domestic policy, Dipsy energy, and Laa-Laa writes his speeches. That way, George is informed by people who are at the same intellectual level as him, and who he can relate to. Here is the evidence.

What did I tell you? The proof is there!

Local Hero

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Mon, 17 Sep 2007 00:53:00 +0000

I came home from work one stifling hot afternoon. Despite being four degrees above the equator, Taiping is relatively mild compared to other places around here, because we get a lot of rain, usually have a nice breeze blowing, and are the foot of the mountains. This day, though, was especially hot, with none of the normal comforts of the local climate.

I was changing out of my clothes so that I could hop in the bathroom, pour water from the basin over myself, and take a "shower". All the windows slats were open to let in the breeze. Out of the window I saw the old Chinese Auntie from the ground floor sitting down in her garden.

We call her Auntie, one, to be polite, and two, because we have no idea what her real name is, because she doesn't speak any English or Malay. Nevertheless, she always waves hello at us, and once Trien's pregnancy started showing, Auntie would try her best to talk to her. She is old, with skin wrinkled like a crumpled paper bag, and dotted with age spots. She has a mole with huge hairs sprouting from it one at corner of her mouth, and kind, laughing blue eyes. Despite having great difficulty walking, she does her best to toddle around, and go to the store by herself.

She likes to tend her garden, which is around her apartment. There are some banana trees, and some various other tropical fruit trees. Sometimes Auntie walks around with a long pole trying to chase the monkeys away from her fruit trees. Other times, she gets one of her visitors, probably a son or grandson, to throw firecrackers at them. Still, they always come back. Also in her garden are some vegetables or herbs with long thin pointy leaves. Even Trien doesn't know what they are.

It was among these unknown plants that I saw her sitting when I glanced out the window. At first I thought she was just taking it easy. She is old, and it was very hot. Then I saw her laying back, and struggling. That's when I realized that she had fallen, or fainted, and couldn't get up. So I put my clothes back on.

"Baby, Auntie is in the garden and can't get up. I'm going downstairs to help her."

"Honey, What happened?"

"I don't know. She needs help."

I went downstairs, and Trien locked up and followed me to the garden.

It was even hotter down in Aunties garden than it was elsewhere. The plants seemed to intensify the heat and humidity. When I reached her, she was drenched in sweat.

She was trying to pull herself up by grabbing onto the thick roots of the plants, but didn't have the strength, and kept falling back. She laughed and smiled, and was saying something to me, but of course I couldn't understand her. I tried to help her up, but she had trouble finding her footing and kept slipping back.

I wasn't quite sure if she wanted to be helped up, if she just wanted to sit up to weed her garden, or if she really needed help. This was because as I tried to help her up, she still seemed to be trying to do some weeding, or to pick some plants. I told Trien that we needed someone to talk to her, so we could communicate, and find out what was really going on.

Trien kept an eye on her, while I walked around to the front of our building to see if any of the Chinese people were about to help out. That was not the case, so I decided to walk toward the Lake Gardens to see if there was anyone there.

Before I could get too far, a new compact car pulled up through the back gate of the apartment block across from ours, which is usually closed during week days. Out came a young lady. She seemed to be a student. She was young, just a bit chubby, but attractive.

I yelled across the fence at her to get her attention. She either didn't hear me, or pay any attention. So I shouted LOUDER.

"Excuse me!"

She turned around, right at the entrance to the building.

"Do you speak English?"

It was easy to see that she was wondering what this white guy was doing in the parking lot yelling at her. Of course, if I were her, I'd be wondering the same thing.

"The old lady across the way has fallen down, and can't get up. She doesn't speak any English. Could you come interpret so we know what she wants and what is wrong?"

"What old lady? I didn't know there was an old lady who lived there?"

"On the bottom floor. She is in the garden around the side with my wife."

She came trotting around the fence, and I pointed to where Trien was standing with Auntie. You could just barely see Auntie's head over the plants.

She ran right over to Auntie, bent over, and stated talking to her in Chinese, most likely Hokkien, which is the usual dialect around here. Auntie answered her, and was laughing again, but now it seemed that she was slightly embarrassed. The girl grabbed one arm, I grabbed the other, and we lifted Auntie to her feet. Auntie kept trying to pick some of the plants, and even offered us some, but we didn't know what to o with them. Her second concern was her hoe, which Trien picked up and carried for her. The girl and I helped her along, and when Auntie seemed to be steady, I let the girl carry Auntie to the porch in front of her sliding glass door, where she sat down.

After she sat down, Auntie touched her hands together and bowed to me, and said the only English words she knew, over and over:

"Thank you".

I nodded my head, and said you're welcome. I asked the girl if Auntie was OK, and she said she was OK, she suddenly felt weak and fell. I told the girl that it was too hot for Auntie to be working now, she should be inside resting. Auntie kept saying thank you for a couple more minutes. After we were sure she was OK, Trien and I went back inside.

After that, every time I went downstairs, Auntie would always smile. Sometimes she would get up and come to the door to say thank you.

Then one day Trien and I were walking back from town. Trien was already nine months pregnant, and looked it. There was an old Chinese woman bicycling back from town, maybe in her early to mid seventies. She could speak English fairly well, and she started talking to us, and asking us questions. Like how much we pay for our apartment, where are we from, when is the baby due, the standard stuff. Then she asked about what happened with Auntie, and I told her.

Then she told us about Auntie. Her children and grandchildren come around, but really don't pay her much mind. They come in and out all the time, but basically she is all alone. The church van picks her up on Sunday to go to the Chinese Methodist Church downtown, but other than that, nobody takes her out, so she slowly makes her way to the store.

The lady said Auntie was working in her garden, when she felt very weak and fell down. She didn't know what to do, because she was too weak to cry out, and there wasn't likely to be anyone around to see her and help her. That is, until I looked out the window.

When Auntie saw the three of us, she came out and we were able to communicate. Auntie was happy to be able to tell me how thankful she was that I helped her. Then the other lady started talking to some other people, telling them what happened.

The result? I have become known as the nice western guy who helped Auntie out, sort of like a local hero.

As a postscript to this episode:

Auntie found out from her friend that Trien was in the hospital waiting to deliver. Every day when I came home, she would be waiting to see if we were bringing Melody home. It took a week, but when we finally got out of the car with Melody that Thursday afternoon, Auntie came out with a big smile and was overjoyed to see the baby. She had to pinch her cheeks and made many comments in Chinese we couldn't understand. And , of course, she kept trying to talk to Trien. Auntie was so happy just to see the baby and to hold her for a second. You would have thought that she was the grandmother.

Now, She always looks to see if Trien or I are bringing the baby out. When she sees little Melody, her face brightens, and you can see the traces of young motherhood and its memories flicker across her face.

It doesn't take much to touch someone, and make a difference in their life.

Another Thing We've Learned

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 13:11:00 +0000

One thing we've learned is that Melody doesn't like taking a bath. You would think that after all that time floating around in the womb, she'd love it. Not a chance.

That's Aida, our helper, giving her her first bath at home. I never knew Melody could cry so loud, or turn so red!

Well, we'll have to adjust, and maybe see if we can make it into a game. Or maybe if we put her into a tub of warm water, now that her umbilical cord has healed, instead of pouring the water over her, she will calm down.

It's just another learning process and adjustment that we're all going to have to go through!

Training Each Other

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 09:52:00 +0000

Sure, we read "What to Expect the First Year", to get some idea of how of what we were facing raising a newborn. That book has become our "Baby Bible". It's packed with all sorts of useful information. Trien and I both read it, and we both agree we got a lot out of it. It's an excellent book to have if you are a first time parent. It's also the only book on parenting we could find in Taiping.

Sure, we asked others for advice, on how to prepare for Melody's arrival.

It seems like you can prepare all you want to have a baby, but it sure is a different thing when the baby actually arrives and you have to do it. Some things turn out better, and some things turn out worse.

For example, before Melody was born, the thought of actually changing a diaper was nearly enough to send me into convulsions. That's the OCD working. After she was born and I actually did it? No problem. It just seemed so natural to do it. I found out I actually enjoy changing her diaper, and making goofy faces and noises at her while I do it. It confuses the hell out of her, and keeps her quiet and still while I clean and change her. Besides, the mustardy yellow breastfeeding poop doesn't smell like some sort of biological warfare attack. I can't say the same for those kids on formula. Anyway, when it's your child who is dirty and smelly, you don't mind. If it was someone else's kid, I'd run away screaming in horror, and have to rub hand sanitizer all over my body.

It's a different thing reading about taking care of a baby, and having people give you advice, and actually doing it.

At first, we struggled. Every time she cried, we thought she was hungry. Usually, we weren't wrong. This kid can really eat. If she is hungry, she will show she is hungry by loudly sucking on her fist or the back of her hand.

At first, she would feed for two or three hours plus straight. She is a rester, and she would take little breaks during her feeding time, but still! She would empty out both breasts, and we would have to give her a formula supplement on top of it to satisfy her hunger. Mommy's nipples were getting awfully sore.

Then a few nights ago, she fed for seven hours straight. She didn't go to sleep, she just kept crying and feeding for all that time. She would feed, spit it up, we'd burp her, she'd cry for more, fill her diaper, we'd change her, she'd cry again, we'd feed her, she'd spit it up, cry for more, we'd feed her, burp her, and on and on. We didn't know what the hell was happening. I was ready to have tests done to see if she had an extra stomach. Finally, about 1 am, she fell asleep, and slept for about 8 hours.

The next day she was OK. What I figured was, that she had gas, and tummy pain. Since she is as new to all of this as we are, I think she couldn't tell the difference between gas, tummy pain, and being hungry. So she would feed, get gas, then cry for more, spit it up, we'd burp her, that would make more space, so she'd want more, we'd give it, the gas would come back, she'd be full and get tummy pain, fill her diaper, that would make more space, etc. in a never ending cycle.

It seems that after that, Melody learned the difference between hunger, gas, tummy pain, and being full. We haven't had the same problem since, and hopefully won't again. That's because we are also learning. We are learning what her feeding patterns are.

She will wake up, and be hungry. To make her comfortable during feeding time, first we check her diaper, and if need be, change her. Then Mommy feeds her. After anywhere from 10 minutes to half an hour, she either doze off, go to sleep, or want to look at stuff. If she dozes off, after a few minutes she'll be awake and want more. If she wants to look at stuff, then she will want to be held, and look at stuff around the room, or at a toy, for an indeterminate time. Then she'll want to be fed again. If she sleeps, then she will sleep for 2 to 3 hours before she wakes up again.

After the second feeding, if she hasn't had her "Lets look at stuff time", she will want to have it then. If she's had her "Lets look at stuff time", then she will doze for a few minutes. After she has done either, she will want a little snack, then she will fall asleep for a couple hours.

Knowing what her habits are make it easier to take care of her.

We've also realized that every time she cries, she doesn't necessarily want a nipple in her mouth. So we hold off on that until we are sure that's what she wants. If she gives her hunger sign, then that's what she gets. If not, we go through the checklist: diaper, hold me, burp me, get me out of the crib, lets look at stuff. If that doesn't work, then it's feeding time.

So you could say both Melody and Trien and I are adjusting to each other, and learning from each other. We are training each other. It looks like this won't end until, say, she grows up and moves away from home. Until then, we'll just keep learning and adjusting!

Rod Benson's Blog

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Fri, 14 Sep 2007 05:26:00 +0000

Rod Benson is a Basketball player trying out for the New Jersey Nets. He is also a very smart and funny guy, who writes a fantastic Blog.

I don't know if he has a future in the NBA, but if that doesn't work out, I'm sure writing will. The guy definitely has talent. His entry about playing baseball with an ex NBA players young kids had me cracking up. If writing doesn't work out, then he's bound to find some niche in entertainment. He's that good.
It doesn't matter if you like basketball, or even if you know anything about it at all. You will still get a kick out of Rod Benson.

The only reason I don't have it on my list of favorite Blogs is because the filters on the servers here won't let me add it. Next time at the Internet cafe, it goes there.

So check out toomuchrodbenson.com

It's worth the trip!

Melody Proves that Dunstan Baby Language Doesn't Work

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Wed, 12 Sep 2007 07:14:00 +0000

Trien and I were watching Oprah one night on Astro when she was about seven months pregnant. In the first segment Priscilla Dunstan (below)

came on, to talk about her Dunstan Baby Language cd. Ms. Dunstan is one hot looking mommy, which immediately caught my attention. She claims that after years of research, she was able to identify five "words" that all babies use, despite whatever language they are exposed to, to communicate their needs.

According to her website:

Every newborn communicates from birth to 3 months using 5 distinct sounds, or “words” to express their physical needs. This is regardless of the language their parents speak and is part of nature’s plan – that your baby can tell you what they need from the very beginning. For example, every baby will say the word “neh” when hungry. The sooner ‘hunger’ is identified the sooner a parent can respond by feeding.

Of course this immediately caught our attention, and we sat fascinated through the program. Trien even got a piece of paper and a pencil, and quickly wrote down the "words" and what they meant, for future reference.

With Ms. Dunstan were some mommies holding their babies. They said how great it was that they could understand what their babies were trying to communicate to them before they got all apoplectic. Some of the babies even made some of the cries, almost on cue. The mommies were able to tell what they wanted, and met the need on camera before their precious one even started to cry.

During the segment there were other demos of how well it worked. Oprah was surprised and enthusiastic. It was almost as if she was the presenter for a "Dunstan Baby Language" Infomercial. If I didn't trust in Oprah's integrity, (and great wealth), I'd say that was exactly what was happening. Oprah likes it. My brother's then 18 month old daughter loves Oprah. Wow! So great! Sign me up!

After the program, I had to do some research. Of course, the Dunstan Baby Language website is impressive and has all sorts of testimonials and great things to say about their program, but that is to be expected. Then I started looking around, to see what everybody else had to say. It seemed like they were all equally enthusiastic.

All, that is, except for the article on wikipedia, which questions her research and methodology. Other than that, every other thing I read was almost universally gushing with praise for her discovery.

Of course, if this was going to be such a tremendous help to us as parents, I wanted to get it so that we could understand our baby's "eh", "heh", etc.

One problem? The cost. When I first checked, it was $70 US for the package. Now it's $50 US. While that may seem reasonable for you in the USA or UK, I'm on a Malaysian salary here.

Another? You can't get them to ship it to Malaysia.

So I asked my brother and sister to see if they knew someone who already had it, and was finished with it. Then they could ship it out me. No luck there. I imagined that either none of their acquaintances had it, or if they did, they refused to part with such a gift from the heavens.

So instead, confident in my new found font of information, I cut and pasted the "words" and their meanings, and printed them out. I had them in my pocket the first time I went to the hospital to see Melody.

You know what? I shouldn't have even bothered. Melody obviously didn't get the memo that she is supposed to use Ms. Dunstan's "words" to communicate her needs. She uses one word for everything- "Eh". Ok, make that two words- "Eh", and a loud screaming cry. Nothing else comes out of her mouth except that. "Eh" can mean all the usual things: most often, "I am hungry", but also, "I have gas", "I am wet/poopy", "I like looking at Mr. Bear", "I am hungry", or "I just like confusing Mommy and Daddy as to what it is I really want." Crying? Well there is no need to tell you what that means.

We can tell better what Melody wants from her body language, than we can from any "Dunstan Baby Language". Sucking on her hand or fist means she is hungry, a smelly diaper means she needs to be changed, and a pained expression on her face means either she needs to be changed, "watch out, I'm about to fill my diaper", or "why aren't you burping me?"

So as for Ms. Dunstan's discovery, I'm afraid it would have been of no use to us, even if we could get it. We just have to do things the old fashioned way- watch, listen, and smell. Better yet, we didn't waste $50, and can use that money for something really useful. Like diapers and baby wipes!

Melody's Favorite Activities

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 07:57:00 +0000

Being a newborn, Melody doesn't do too much as of yet. But there are a few things she likes to do. In rough order of preference, they are:
1. Sleeping. Without a doubt, that is #1 on the list.
2. Eating. This is her #1 activity when awake.
3. Looking at stuff. Everything is new to her. So when she is taking a break from feeding, but still alert, she likes to look at everything around her. Some of the things she has found fascinating include:
One of the wooden posts on her crib.
Our plain white wall.
The underside of the futon.
The ceiling fan.
Mommy (Daddy not so much).
Some bug only an expert in tropical entomology could identify scurrying around the plain white wall that had Mommy freaking out.

The patterns on your clothes.

But without a doubt, her two favorite things are:
Mr. Bear, (pictured above), and her own image in the mirror.

I paid RM 20 for Mr. Bear, and it is some of the best money I ever spent. She is totally fascinated by him. All you have to do is put him in her line of sight, and she will stare at him, and start kicking and smiling. He has a music box inside, and when you pull the string and "Go to Sleep My Little Baby" starts playing, she will stop moving and kicking, and give him her full attention. Then she will start moving and kicking even more, waiting for him to make some more music. Whatever Mr. Bear does, she usually tries to reach out and touch him, as best a newborn can.

Her own image is of tremendous interest to her. She loves to look at the baby in the mirror. She will try and reach out and touch the baby. Of course, right now she doesn't know she is the baby in the mirror. But she always stops what she is doing when I put the mirror in her line of sight, and usually smiles at the baby. She won't even move or kick, she is so fascinated. This really comes in handy when changing her diaper. I put the mirror in front of her, she holds still, and in two minutes or less the diaper change is done.
4. Being held.

5. Crying.

6. Resting while taking two hours to feed.

7. Being adorable. This takes no effort all all, it just comes naturally.

I know this is just the beginning. In the coming months, as she matures and makes new discoveries, there will be plenty more things she like to do. I can't wait to see what they are!

The Birth

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 11:31:00 +0000

It wasn't easy for either of us. Physically, it was demanding on Trien. She was in labor over twenty hours. Mentally and emotionally, and thus physically, it was demanding on me.

It was hard being separated from her during the whole process. While she was in the 3rd class ward, after being induced, I could stay with her and hold her hand, and possibly stroke her head. That stopped after she knocked my hand away. After visiting hours were over, I had to leave, with no way to find out what was happening. That is, unless Saras called me up with information. Saras goes to our church, and is a nurse in the maternity ward. She was keeping vigil with Trien, and acting as her personal nurse. She did internal exams, massages, and at times, prayed. All of which helped tremendously. If it wasn't for Saras, Trien would have definitely had a c-section, something we all wanted to avoid.

I was wiped out. Visiting hours were over at 7:30, and I was having trouble trying to do anything. It was raining out, and Ramesh's wife and I were waiting for him to return and take us home. Because of the rain, he didn't show up until 9.

At first when we were talking, I was feeling sick and grumpy, and wanted to tell her to shut up. I controlled myself though, and as things went on, I really enjoyed our conversation, and felt a lot better. Still, I was so tired. Ramesh came, and I picked up some pau for dinner, and some ice cream for comfort food. I had just taken a shower, and started to eat, when Ramesh called, oh, about 9:30, and said that they had just wheeled Trien into the delivery room, and they were coming back to pick me up.

I barely had time to put my clothes on before they were downstairs waiting for me.

News travels fast. When we got there, Pastor Phillip was already there. That's him in front, with the glasses. Also there was sister Grace and her husband, whose name escapes me, but he is pastor of the church in Bagan Serai. They are the couple on the right of the picture. Ramesh then left to pick up Kevin Singh from worship practice. That's Kevin on the left. I like Kevin. Him and his wife Rebecca are really cool people. (Plus they have really cute kids!) As for the mystery couple in red, between Kevin and Grace and her husband, that's Ramesh and his wife. Ramesh is another guy you got to love. He's got a great sense of humor, and is always willing to lend a helping hand. He does drive his wife crazy, but they love each other to death. He had to walk away when Trien was in the labor room, in so much pain she couldn't talk, because he couldn't stand to see anyone suffer like that. That may be because he knows what it is like to suffer himself. He suffers from an intermittently recurring infection in the lining behind his eyes that causes him excruciating pain.

I know I am forgetting some people, because I was so tired. I am under the impression that there were more people than that waiting, but I didn't get their pictures. If you were there, and I forgot you, please accept my apologies.

So we were there, and waiting. I was excited. They were excited too. When I mean waiting, I don't mean in a nice air-conditioned waiting room outside the delivery room. What I mean is waiting outside the building, in the waiting area next to the parking lot. At least there was a color TV there that worked. Around 1 am or so, we watched the end of Con Air (what a totally ridiculous film that was), and then the end of The Forgotten, which is better off left that way.

Since I wasn't even allowed in the building, I would sneak in the door to see if I could hear anything. It was silent. According to the board outside, there were 7 women in there giving birth, and the only sound I could hear was a machine going "BING!" Heck, I was expecting wild screaming and pleas for mercy, like we heard when we checked in that afternoon. Or at least some mild whimpering. But there was nothing.

So I decided to do my stupid foreigner thing, and wander around trying to find the bathroom. Still, nothing. It was if they all decided to go out for ice cream or something.

At 3am, Saras came out and said that the pregnancy was progressing slowly. They had given Trien a sedative, and she was asleep! Here I am walking around expecting to hear that our daughter was born, and she's snoozing. That was OK, though. Since the labor was so long, they wanted her to get some rest, so when the big push finally came, she would have the strength for it. Later, Trien said when the intense pain would happen, she would wake up, and then drowse for a while.

By that time, we were all sitting there drooling and looking at each other cross-eyed. Nothing was happening, Trien was asleep, so we might as well do the same.

About 8:30, I got a call from Saras. I was groggy as anything. She said that Trien had delivered a baby girl, and mother and baby were fine. Feeling like I did, that left me underwhelmed. I felt duty bound to call up my family and let them know, and as I did, I started coming to. I even got a little excited, until I realized I wouldn't be able to see Mommy and Baby until 12:30 anyway, because they wouldn't let me in until visiting hours.

-To Be Continued-

God's Wonderful Gift

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 14:44:00 +0000

Melody's Picture

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 02 Sep 2007 08:13:00 +0000

Merdeka

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:50:00 +0000

Today is the 50th anniversary of Malaysian Independence.

Happy Merdeka to All!

The Prelude to the Big Day

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:31:00 +0000

The Day is almost upon us. Trien is in the hospital now. The baby will be born tomorrow, for sure. No more waiting. They are going to induce labor in the morning.

This morning, the baby started making these strange movements with her arms. It was unlike anything she'd ever done before. They were moving fast, unlike her normal sedate movements. After that, she didn't move at all for a couple hours. That got us worried.

We went to the hospital for a checkup. While we were concerned, we didn't think it was anything major. We figured she was probably asleep, but decided to play it safe. No use taking anything for granted when you are this far along.

After we got to the hospital, Melody moved slightly, but nothing like her normal movements, which would last for more than just a couple of seconds. They took Trien inside to the clinic, while I had to stay outside in the waiting area, and look cross eyed at the otheres waiting there, and ponder whether that was haze over Bukit Larut, or if it was just humidity.

There was a TV. It was on channel three, with a bunch of talking heads chattering on in Malay about Merdeka. I don't think I would have found it interesting even if I understood the language. Since there was only one other person there at the time, a middle aged, (or seemingly middle aged) Malay woman, I changed the to channel 7, where they were showing the Cirque du Soleil, which was much nicer, a helluva lot more interesting, and needed no translation.

Finally Trien came outside to see me. The results? The babys heartbeat was good. The ultrasound revealed that there was less fluid in the womb then there should be. So they were going to admit her to the hospital. I had to run over to the main building to get her admitted first.

At first the registrar wanted an RM 800 deposit. I told her I only had a couple hundred and change. She asked how much I wanted to give. I was ready to give her everything but the change. After talking to her though, and telling her that I worked at SERATAS, and had an employment letter (even though it only covers me), she waived the deposit. So I ran back to the maternity ward. Third class, which is an open ward with about 40 beds, dorm style. The first and second class wards were full. A busy Merdeka for babies, that's for sure.

When I got back, they had Trien on the fetal heart monitor, which gave Daddy some anxious moments, watching the heart rate go up to 150 or so, then down to 120.

I almost had a stroke, though, when they asked her to turn on her side. Then the fetal heart monitor started doing all sorts of things. One moment it would go to 240, then to 90, then to 190, then zero, then stop reading all together. Each time it would fluctuate, so would the beating of my heart, as if I was tied into the monitor. I ran to get the nurse, who looked at it, and had her lay back on her back, when everything went back to normal. The doctor looked at the tape, but didn't seem too concerned.

We are getting good support here from everyone here. Saras, the maternity nurse from the church, and her husband, who's a cop, picked me up at the hospital and took me home and back to the hospital, so I could get Trien's things. We didn't bring anything, since we didn't think she'd be admitted. Saras also told the nurses in the ward that Trien and I are her friends, and to keep a special eye on her. So we have been getting good service, despite being in the third class ward. Saras and her husband also brought their old Baby crib up to our apartment for us to use.

Saras is working the morning shift in the ward where Trien is, so she will be with her when they induce labor. I won't be, because they won't the Daddys in the ward until visiting hours at 12:30pm.

She won't be alone until then, though. Mr. S. Manogaran, one of the instructors at school, well, his wife happens to be a maternity nurse in the adjoining ward, just a few steps from where Trien is. I ran out to get Trien "Some rice and mutton", and I ran into him at the same restaurant buying something for his wife. I hurriedly rote down where Trien is, and when I came back, his wife came over to check to see how she was doing. She has my number to call me in case anything goes wrong. I'm sure she will be checking on Trien throughout the night. She was also very helpful in other things. God is really working overtime to help us out with this one.

We've already had lots of phone calls, and visits from friends wishing us well. Everyone has been offering their help and support. We don't lack for anything right now.

God has put us in a very good place. We are Truly Blessed!

Baby Report Week 40: Still Waiting

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 08:14:00 +0000

Today makes 40 weeks of pregnancy. Still no little Melody Angelica yet.

That's probably for the best, since my health hasn't been good the past few weeks. What with medical leave, the semester break, and what have you, the students here haven't seen much of me the past few weeks. When I walked into my first class this morning, the students actually cheered! That really made me feel good. Some of the the students told me that they missed me. One of the students told me how they were talking in class about how they miss my classes- my joking around, the things we do. When I walked into another class, there was a question written on the board:

"Why hasn't Mr. John been in class?"

I guess it was a rhetorical question.
Another question I was asked was whether I would be teaching here next year. That I don't know. I know Trien has been giving indications that she would like to stay another year. Being a Filipina, she's not going to say it right out, but I can read between the lines.

The students seem to want me to stick around for another year, but I don't know. The last principal was great, but this one, well- let me stop there and let you infer the rest.

Still, it's definitely nice to be missed, and to be appreciated.

When we leave here, I will miss this place.

On to business: Trien went for her checkup yesterday, and everything is normal. The baby's heartbeat is active, and everything is normal with Mommy, too. She has to keep track of the baby's movements. If the baby moves less than 10 times over 13 hours, we have to go to the hospital. If not, then Trien has an appointment next Wednesday. If she hasn't delivered before then, they will probably induce labor.

So at least we have a deadline.

Trien will be happy to finally give birth, what with all the changes her body has gone through, the discomfort, and everything else. It will be a relief to not be a raging hormone factory any more. To her credit, she has been pretty even tempered through it all.

Well, time to go. I am getting kicked out of the pc room in school.

Happy Merdeka to All!!!

Jungle Crotch Rot

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 07:23:00 +0000

Yup, that's what I got. I haven't been feeling well the past couple of weeks, and this certainly doesn't help any.

I had cold and was feeling constricted in my chest. I went to a couple of doctors, and they gave me the usual, cough syrups, some antibiotics, but they didn't help much. Sister Saras from our church, recommended Dr. Philipp, who has a surgery by the firehouse. He looked me over, and diagnosed that I had a mild case of pneumonmia. So he gave me a bunch of antibiotics, and no cough syrup. He also said that I might have Grave's Disease, or hyperthyroid.

So on Sunday, I fasted- nothing unusual there, I usually do anyway, and he took blood to do a comprehensive bloodwork on me. He also did an ultrasound scan of the vital organs, and continued the antibiotics.

Sunday night, I looked at Trien's leg, and there is an oozing cut on it that didn't look good at all.

Monday was the first day back after semester break. There wasn't much to do, because all my morning classes were canceled because of the assembly, and student meetings. So Mr. Wong drove me back home, and we picked up Trien, and went back to Dr. Philipp. Mr. Wong didn't have anything else to do either, and I know he was looking for an excuse to get away for awhile, too.

The doctor said it was either an allergy, or an insect bite. He gave Trien some cream.

I had some redness and soreness on my testicles. He checked that out, said it wasn't too bad, and that he didn't want to overload me by treating me for that, too.

So Trien and I had brunch at the roti cannai stand, and I walked back to school. When I went home, and took off my underwear, I literally had to peel it off, and there was blood in it. Not a lot, mind you, but enough. My cojones looked like ground hamburger, and were oozing. Not exactly the most comfortable feeling.

Trien made some calls, trying to see if there was a urologist around. We couldn't find any.

The next morning, I called work, and told them I was going with my wife to the doctor, which was the truth. We were going, but I was the one seeing him.

It was worse looking. I will save you the rest of the gory details. He gave me a shot of Rocephrin, some more antibiotics, and a topical cream. Plus, he gave me a medical certificate good for two days off. That way, I could stay at home, and walk around free and easy if I wanted. Instead, I wore a sarong, because one of Trien's Filipina friends came over, and they spent those two days decorating the baby's room.

Right now, I am a walking antibiotic cocktail. I got ones for pneumonia, and jungle crotch rot (I don't know what else to call it) running through me.

the JCR is getting better. The family jewels look less like swollen, scabby, oozing hambuger, and more like they should look. The infection, which was spreading to the underside of John Jr., hasn't gotten worse. Praise God for that!

I went back to work today. Thank God I got a ride just after I started walking, in a car, and not a motorbike! God is looking out for me.

When people at work asked me why I was walking funny, I just told them they didn't want to know. All I said was I had an infection in a painful place.

So literally, being at work today is a real pain in the balls!

At least tomorrow we have the day off, for Merdeka, the 50th anniversary of Malaysian Independence.

Good thing, too, because I think tomorrow Trien is going to give birth.

How to Make Your Own High Contrast Baby Mobile

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 06:02:00 +0000

From what I've been reading, mobiles are one of the greatest things you can get for your baby. Not only are they fascinated by them, and will look at them for hours, but they also stimulate your baby's development. One thing I read, said that by using a mobile over the crib, an infants brain connections can increase by 25%.

The best mobiles for baby's seem to be the so called "high contrast" black and white ones. Research shows that up until the fifth month, babies can only see in shades of gray. Because of this, high contrasting colors are what hold their interest, especially black and white (with possibly with a little red thrown in).

So of course, I would like to get one of these for our little Melody when she is born.

I can't go out and buy one from the store. The only kind of baby mobiles I can find here in Taiping are these cheap Chinese made plastic musical monstrosities, that would either give your baby lead poisoning, or break after you wind it up a couple of times. Definitely not what I am looking for. Instead, I bought a colorful wind chime.

Still, I want to get one of these cool high contrast baby mobiles for Melody. It is highly unlikely that there is a store even in Penang that sells something like them. Buying it online and having it shipped here? Please, be serious. The freight charges alone would kill you, that is, if they would even consider shipping it here in the first place. So it seems that the only way I am going to be able to get one of these cool mobiles for Melody is to make one myself.

So I set out on a webquest:

1. To find a site that will have high contrast images I can download and print out

2. And also tell me how to make the thing.

I found a couple of sites that fit the bill.

This site has some really great images in pdf format that you can download, and print out later. As for me, using the cranky computers we have in school, I found it easier to click on the images, save them to the desktop, then print them out. It also has simple instructions on how to put your mobile together. The images above are from this site.

For those who need more detailed instructions on how to build your high contrast baby mobile, there is this site, complete with step by step pictures. It is written by a guy who was challenged by his wife to build his own baby mobile in one afternoon. So I suppose if you have the time, it is possible to do.

This site has high contrast pictures of animals, like the ones you see at the right. It also has some instructions, but if you aren't that handy, you may want to look at the above mentioned website to get some idea of what you are doing.

I already printed out the black and white pictures I need. Some of the other stuff I have lying around the house. I'll have to look around for the cardboard and other things I'll need, but they shouldn't be too hard to find, even in Taiping.

I figure that I can build this after Melody is born, and I am on paternity leave. She'll probably be sleeping most of the time anyway, so this will give me something useful and creative to do. Trien will probably want to do her part, too. It should be fun to build something together for our daughter.

Only one problem though- I am trying to figure what I am going to use to hang it from. My idea is to buy one of those cheap Chinese musical mobiles, throw out the mobile, and just use the hanger. Hmmm . . . maybe I can get some use out of that cheap Chinese mobile after all. I can use it to terrorize the stupid cats that hang around here. That is, if Trien would let me!

Toyota's Contribution to Merdeka- The "Merde Car"

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:08:00 +0000

Merdeka is the Malaysian word for Independence. It also is the word for Malaysian Independence day.This Friday, August 31st, is the 50th anniversary of Malaysian Independence. So there will be a big celebration and what not going on.

Last year, Toyota in KL decided to have a promotion to mark Merdeka. What brilliant idea did they come up with? How about-

The Merde Car!!!
(pictured above)

Obviously, no one in the Toyota office here speaks French. If you don't know what merde means, I'm not going to tell you. Suffice it to say you won't find it in the average English-French dictionary. But if you eat some bad Brie, you'll end up making lots of it. . .

National Conference

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:35:00 +0000

Tomorrow is supposed to be the start of CfBT Malaysia's National Conference. All the other PET's (Project English Teachers, not a very flattering acronym), ELC's (English Language Coordinators- what can I say, someone in the Ministry of Education must have a thing for animal acronyms), at least the ones still standing, errrr . . . remaining, are going to be there. So will the whole CfBT office staff, higher ups from the CDC (No- not the Center for Disease Control. In Malaysia it means the Curriculum Development Center of the Ministry of Education, who are our bosses) and various VIP's from the Ministry looking for a free lunch. I'm told it's going to be held at a very nice resort hotel in Malacca. Which one, I'm not sure. It doesn't matter anyway. I'm not going.

Not that I wouldn't love to go. It would be nice to get another weeks vacation tacked on to a nine day semester break, at a resort hotel. Even at a crappy resort hotel. Or wherever. It also would be nice to get to see everybody again, and see how they are getting on. In any other situation, Trien and I would be going home after I finish here, and she's done talking with her friends at Vanessa's apartment, to pack up our things.

Not this time, though. Instead, we are going to go home, get a shower, and start decorating the baby's room, before her much anticipated arrival. Then I have to get to bed so I can go teach tomorrow. WHOOOOOOOPEEEE! Now isn't that exciting? I sure as anything rather be on the road to Malacca tomorrow. As long as Rod Deering wasn't driving his Proton Saga like a test track driver. He tends to do that when he gets deep into a discussion. Or maybe it's when he doesn't like the way the discussion is going. I'm not sure which.

I wouldn't be in this spot if the CDC didn't keep moving the date for the conference around. It was canceled twice. Originally it was going to be in June, which would have been fine. Then it was going to be in the beginning of July, which was still OK. Then, in all their infinite wisdom, they move it to the week Trien is due to deliver. So that means no free vacation with all the rest of CfBT, at least not this year.

Instead, my vacation will come after Melody is born. And what vacation could be better than that?

My Latest Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Obsession

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 13:57:00 +0000

I have previously written about having Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It's something I can't deny. It's an everyday part of my life, just like eating and sleeping. Just like eating and sleeping, some days I end up obsessing and compulsing more than other days, depending on circumstances, such as how much idle free time I have. Obviously, the more idle free time I have, the more time I have to indulge my urge to eat, sleep, and perform my "rituals" (like hand washing), and obsess on things.

One of the ways that my OCD manifests is that I get the compulsion to collect things. Without a doubt, I am a pack rat. I have a hard time throwing anything, even the most meaningless piece of paper, out. It is a small triumph if I am able to go through the ever growing piles of paper and miscellaneous excreta on my desk at work and throw anything out.

When I have too much idle time, or get stressed, I go on these collecting jags. You never know what it might be that I will obsess on collecting. All I know is that I have to satisfy the urge somehow, or I start obsessing about it. Then, the collecting urge gets worse, in a vicious cycle. I have been able to stifle the urge somewhat, and not clutter our place, by downloading files from the Internet.

My portable hard drive has 1,150 songs on it. Every time I go to th Internet cafe, I end up downloading more. It seems that I want to download every song that has been background music to my life, because every song has a memory connected with it.

Memories, or actually the anticipation of memories to come, is what is feeding my latest collecting craze- baby toys, and things for our baby.

I got back yesterday, and showed Trien what I bought. She thought what I bought was reasonable and useful, and when her friends came over today, they liked it too. So I felt good.

Today I had to run out of the house and go find stuff to decorate the baby's room. I spent at least a half hour pondering the virtues of the various wind chimes in one of the local stores before one of the salesgirls came over and tried to help me. I explained why I was so obsessed with wind chimes, then finally realized I better come back tomorrow with Trien and have her help me pick one out. In the meantime, I bought one of the small ones. Why, I don't know. Maybe just to introduce the concept to my wife, and show her how nice it would be to put one, (or more) in Melody's room.

Then it was over to The Store (that is the department store chains name), to spend more time in the baby section looking at the toys, then at the toy session. Before you know it, three hours had gone by all together. I did get something great, some rattle socks they talked about in ythe baby development book. Buying those, for me, was a minor triumph. Then there was the cute baby overalls that were on sale . . .

I know that I am doing this because of stress, and impatience waiting for Melody to be born. Who knows how I will act, and what I will obsess on, after she is born.

Even I can't tell you that!

My Latest Project

noreply@blogger.com (John's Universe) — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 12:24:00 +0000

I am here at the Internet Cafe. Trien is alone at home. While I don't like leaving her, I had no choice. She was tired. After all, she went walking four times yesterday, because she thought that by getting exercise, she might induce labor. Obviously that didn't work. All it did was wear her out. Meanwhile, Melody is happily kicking away in the womb. She doesn't seem to want to come out.

On one of her walks yesterday, Trien and I went to the BabyCentre, here in Taiping, to pick up a few things we need. They obviously recently took inventory, and rearranged things. Because of that, I was able to find a couple of things that weren't there before.

One was a baby bath. This one had obviously been sitting in a storeroom somewhere, because it was dirty, and the a little bit of the slip-proof padding on the back had come unglued. It was perfect for our needs. After finding out from the salesperson that it was the only one, I was able to get a 25% discount. That made me feel good. I washed it today, and it looks good as new.

The other thing was a glove that had finger puppets on it. It is blue, has a castle on the hand, and five different characters on the fingers. There is a king, a queen, a jester, a knight, and a dragon. I was showing it to Trien and doing my cartoon voices by her tummy, and Melody must have liked that, because she was moving like crazy.

Well, our trip yesterday, and the fact that I started reading a book on how to stimulate your baby's development, plus the fact I had to get out, made me take a trip over to the local department store to raid the toy department. Trien is going to kill me when she sees what I bought. What the heck, at least I will have fun playing with it before the baby comes!

Then I figured- instead of buying stuff- Why not make my own! That would be fun, and keep Trien from tying to the bed to keep me from buying more baby toys.

So my latest project will be making a baby mobile. I already have the plans on my portable hard drive. It looks really simple, and I can use either stuff from around the house, or stuff that's easy to get. If I make my own, we can change the little things hanging down, whatever you call them, whenever I feel like making different ones. One thing though- instead of using string, it looks like it is advisable to use zip ties, so baby doesn't get tangled or strangled. That's because whatever I make or buy, its all got to be baby safe. Believe me, Daddy is not going to take any chances with Melody's health and safety. It means the world to me!