Joie de V

Interrupted Bliss

2013-07-17T22:30:00.002-07:00

I usually hate summertime (much more of a fall and winter girl), but that has changed since Miles has become more independent and outdoor-loving. On those hot days that verge on almost unbearable, we throw our swimsuits on and head to Pismo. Usually my sisters come with us, and we spend the afternoon following Miles around the beach while he chases birds, collects shells, and maintains a calculated distance from the water. We've been going quite a bit, and he's even added "beach" to his vocabulary, which I love. It makes me so happy to see him running around in his little wetsuit and digging holes to climb into. He's definitely a California kid.

Between those moments of playing at the beach or running in the sprinklers, we have spent a lot of time just the two of us- going to the park, reading, making up silly new games. He is constantly growing and changing into this little boy who can articulate his needs and wants and, to my delight, speak his affection. Does it really get any better than when your baby says, "Luh loo!" and gives you a kiss? No. No it does not.

This summer is a very crazy schedule school-wise because I'm taking twelve units in eight weeks. I love the craziness, though. It tests my time management way more than I'm used to, but it's great. I just keep reminding myself, "Only four more weeks!" and then it's on to the next semester, which is going to be huge and daunting but I'm excited and ready (two words I don't usually use when it comes to statistics and pre-calculus, but I'm trying to be optimistic!).

As you can see, I've been a very busy bee. I will try and post more- trust me, I have lots to talk about...it's just finding the time to write it all out!

Oh So Plush

2013-06-12T23:55:00.002-07:00

It's been nearly a month since my last post and that is due entirely to the end of the semester (which means having no requirement to look at, let alone use, a laptop). This was the first semester I've been back at school full-time and I feel relief and a sense of accomplishment that neither my relationships with Parker and Miles nor my grades suffered with the amount of schoolwork I signed up for. Summer term starts on Monday and I am looking forward to it.

With my three weeks of freedom between school terms, I've been making myself luxuriate in the lack of things to do. Sometimes I feel like I almost need the pressure and to-do lists and timelines and deadlines because that is when I feel at my best. However, everyone needs a break and I've been soaking in the calm so I can be recharged for the next six months. My grandparents are visiting from Nashville right now so we've all been loving these days of just hanging out at home and watching Miles with all his adorable antics. He is such a goober- he totally hams it up in front of the camera when my grandma takes his picture (I wonder where he gets that from) and I love it.

This last weekend I took the opportunity to drive down to LA for Plush- a trade show that was open to consumers on its final day to showcase some of the best new maternity and baby-related products and services available. I was so excited when Parker said he would watch Miles so I could go uninterrupted (best husband ever!) and fully drool over all the cool things I knew would be there. I bookmarked a few brands I knew I wanted to visit- Sakura Bloom, Rosie Pope, and Clek to start- and then planned to just sort of wander around and see if anything caught my eye.

The show was on Sunday, so I decided to spend the night at my grandparents' house in Santa Clarita on Saturday night and enjoy some time with my family there. I stopped in at Shine Blow Dry Bar in Montecito on my way out of town for a quick blowout (is it the mom in me or am I the only one who immediately thinks of poop whenever someone mentions the word "blowout" now?) and I loved it. For some reason I always get the male stylist who wants to backcomb my hair into Toddlers & Tiaras-sized proportions so I mentioned something about not wanting to look like Honey Boo Boo and the stylist looked up at me in the mirror and said (I kid you not), "No promises." I think it was a joke. Off to shampoo we went, where I had the best scalp massage ever. I was a little sad when it was time to go back to the chair for the blow dry but I suppose it had to end sometime (sniff). When my hair was dry and it was time for the dreaded backcombing, he smiled and said, "Honey Boo Boo coming your way!" and I mildly panicked but thankfully he was joking after all and my hair looked great.

Sunday morning I woke up, got ready, and headed down to Beverly Hills for breakfast and coffee before the show started. I decided to try The Farm because it looked decidedly country (well, as country as it gets that close to Rodeo Drive) in the middle of a whole lotta bling. I was seated and finished ordering before I realized that David Spade was sitting immediately to my right! I can't help but be starstruck sometimes and when that happens I have to remind myself to get a grip (and sometimes that doesn't really work out either- like the time I met Sigourney Weaver in Williams Sonoma and I started gushing about how Dave is one of my favorite movies. Embarassing!) Anywho, it was fun.

I made my way over to the hotel where the show was being held and eventually made my way downstairs to start walking around all the different vendors. I wanted to visit Sakura Bloom first, but I had to bust out my map because the vendors were separated into two different rooms- one was like a ball room, and the other was like a really big conference room. Sakura Bloom was in the smaller room, which was a bummer because the energy wasn't as high and there were definitely less people coming through (I'm actually fairly certain there were people who came to the show and never even knew there were more vendors in that room!). Anyway, I finally found their booth and introduced myself to Lynne and her husband Eric. They were so great and I basically wound up sitting and talking with them for the majority of the day. Lynne and I walked around the bigger room a couple of times, too, so we could visit some of the other vendors and talk with them a little bit. I really enjoyed meeting Elle from Solly Baby and the ladies behind NüRoo- they were all incredibly nice and shared their stories about how they noticed a need for a certain kind of product and then went about filling that need. It was amazing to hear their journeys and even more amazing to see the success that has come from all their hard work.

It was really interesting for me to spend the day with Lynne and talk with her about where Sakura Bloom started, how it has grown, and a lot of the behind-the-scenes details that go into growing a brand from the ground up. I even had some customer service work flashbacks when a really rude woman came up, asked for a demonstration, interrupted midway through with a "This is not gonna work!" and then just walked away! I was shocked! That incident was all but forgotten, though, when a mom came up with her fifteen-week old baby boy who was really wailing and upset in his car seat. Lynne showed her how to put him in the sling and within seconds he was asleep on his mama's chest. I almost cried, that's how sweet it was... it may have also been because that mom's face showed such relief and I remember that feeling when Miles fell asleep in a sling for the first time. Needless to say, Sakura Bloom has two new fans!

Lynne was so fun to get to know. She's a little bit OCD (a good thing when you're running a business!), super easy to talk to, and can pull off the jumpsuit look no problem. Oh! And she was in almost as much disbelief as I was when I won the Sakura Bloom raffle at the show! I won a Luxe sling in Jade and I love love love it. There were other things in my prize (an iPod and a collection of Rockabye Baby CDs) but I had my eye on that sling and I could not believe when Lisa Rinna called out my name as the winner. So exciting...I really treasure being able to wear Miles in something so gorgeous.

So, that's my weekend! I had an amazing time and I am so glad I was able to go (thanks again, babe!). I'm going to do another post soon about my favorite products from the show- stay tuned!

I hope you're all having a great week.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2013-05-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

In the next couple of days I'll be finishing this semester- whew! This is the first semester I've taken full-time units since Miles has been born and it has been both challenging and extremely rewarding. The most noticeable challenge has been sleep deprivation, since I most often will do my homework after Miles has gone to bed; however, Parker has been absolutely amazing in waking up with Miles a lot of the time so I can rest a little bit more. I really couldn't imagine a better support than him throughout the whole process of me going back to school.

As I was thinking about the "light at the end of the tunnel" in terms of school and more long-term goals, I realized that Parker and Miles are such sources of happiness and love for me on a daily basis. I get caught up a lot of the time in thinking toward the future, but I have been reminded recently that it's just as important to focus on the present time and soak up moments with my family. Admittedly, I do also look forward to what's coming in terms of school because I've been working really hard and it's nice to see the progress. I'm getting to the point now where it's going to be all "fun" classes and that will be a huge reward in and of itself because I'll get to take classes I really enjoy.

When all is said and done, I'm really enjoying where our path is going as a family- Parker has a great job that he loves, Miles will be heading to preschool in January (!), and I will continue on with school and maybe go back to work. We are really blessed.

I hope you're having a great weekend!

Mother's Day

2013-05-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

Mother's Day is always a day where I do a lot of reflecting on the mothers I've known and my own journey to motherhood. It's a celebration of the joy and inexplicable gratitude of being a mama to Miles; it's also a little bit of sadness for the pregnancies that didn't make it. One thing's for sure: being a mama has changed me. I look at other mothers who do things differently and my first inclination is no longer to judge, but to be open to ways different than my own. When I'm judged, I still freak out a little (after all, who wants to be told that you aren't doing something right, especially when it comes to your own child?) but quickly realize that what I'm doing is what's best for my boy and my family, and I have peace in that.

Mothers come in all forms. Some of the women I've learned from the most don't have any children of their own. But they've mothered me, influenced me, and I look to them for inspiration. I'm thankful for my own mom, grandmothers, aunts, in-laws, and friends who all mean so much me and who now mean so much to Miles. I don't know what I'd do without you all.

Happy Mother's Day!

Park Hoppin'

2013-05-09T11:13:00.000-07:00

Miles and I have been loving the park lately. I usually drive to Starbucks, get my drink and a slice of pumpkin bread for Miles, and then head over to the park where we spend lots of time laughing and playing together. I think my favorite part about going to the park is that normally there isn't a time limit to how long we can stay. It's just a time where everything else fades and it's just me and my boy (although lately we've been bringing my sisters along or meeting friends for playdates). He is growing so much- now he climbs the play structure and can go down the slides all by himself! I love him. Here are some pictures of our recent park outings:

Biting the Big Apple, Part II

2013-05-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

I'm finishing this semester in the next couple of weeks so I've been up to my eyeballs in homework! I've been looking for a chance to finish writing about our New York trip so let's pick up where I left off.

We arrived at our hotel a little after 2 a.m. on Friday and woke up a few hours later to find it pouring rain. Our breakfast reservation was at Balthazar so we hailed our first taxi and enjoyed a delicious first meal in New York- Parker had their doughnuts and I enjoyed eggs (they were the best eggs I've ever had) and a chocolate croissant. (There's a couple things I should probably mention at this point. Firstly, hailing taxis was probably my favorite "New York" thing to do in the city- enjoying all the amazing food was a very close second.)

photo credit

After breakfast we still were feeling a little tired from all our travels, so we headed back to the hotel. After a little snooze I got a text from my best blogger friend, Chrystal, and we decided to try out DreamDry, Rachel Zoe's blow dry bar. I took a peek out of the window as I was putting on my coat and it didn't look like it was raining so I didn't grab my umbrella. Mistake. As soon as I stepped out onto Madison Avenue, the sky opened and it started absolutely pouring! Of course, all the taxis were taken so I had the craziest time running around trying to find a car but eventually I found one and was soon on my way. I was pretty excited to meet Chrystal (yes, we've been friends since before Miles was born but had never met) and get our hair done! Our experience at the salon was mixed. I had a great stylist, Ian, who gave my hair volume that initially felt more like Toddlers and Tiaras volume than fab volume but it did settle into a great look by the evening. Chrystal's stylist, on the other hand, looked like she was completely over it and was irritable from the get-go. Chrystal wound up finishing up her own hair! As we were leaving I realized that I was about to walk out into the rain with freshly styled hair, so Chrystal and I huddled under her umbrella and rushed over to Mario Batali's Eataly where we enjoyed some fantastic lunch and wine in the upstairs restaurant. It was so nice to finally chat together not just online but in person over some great food.

The Crosby Hotel (photo credit)

I could go on and on in detail about all the wonderful restaurants we enjoyed so I'll list them all and spend a moment on the places that truly stood out.

Restaurants:

Prime BLT Bistro- Chrystal was so right when she suggested the potato au gratin as a side. It was life-changing.

Serafina- besides the bumping club music at 11 a.m., not bad but not great.

Poco- no...just no. We wondered what took so long for our food to arrive, and it wasn't worth the wait.

L'Artusi- a must-visit; try the potato gnocchi with lamb shank ragu. We loved it so much we ordered a second serving!

Rubirosa- I had their vodka sauce pizza- beyond delicious.

photo credit

Drinks and Snacks:

Pegu- nice atmosphere for drinks with friends; tasty drinks.

The Crosby- delicious small plates to pair with an afternoon drink; Chrystal and I spent all afternoon here chatting and snacking. If you visit, try the goat cheese and pumpkin croquettes or the lamb kebabs. Note: beware of the $25 cocktail!

Soho Grand- after snacks at The Crosby, Chrystal and I snagged a comfortable sofa and enjoyed some chocolate lava cake while we people watched and rested from all our retail therapy.

Russ & Daughters- Best. Bagel (and Lox). Ever! It was delicious and we even met the owner, who stopped to talk with us and asked us if we had any Santa Barbara golfing connections (we don't).

Parker and I visited the Met and the Museum of Natural History and loved both. We could have walked around for days just absorbing all the beautiful pieces of art and looking up at the dinosaur fossils in amazement. Sadly, we didn't get to visit any other art museums but that's just something to look forward to on our next trip.

photo credit

Leaving New York was bittersweet, but the memories of our trip will be a happy reminder of all the fun that was had. Many, many thanks to Chrystal for showing me off the touristy path. If you've visited New York, leave a comment with your favorite spot so I can keep a little list for next time!

Interlude

2013-04-27T14:12:00.000-07:00

credit: Demetri Martin

While I'm finishing up my second post on our New York weekend, I thought I'd post a brief interlude on my thoughts lately. Demetri Martin's "success chart" at right sums it up; Joanna from A Cup of Jo wrote such a well-timed post about the many paths to success. Truthfully, though, it wasn't the post that brought a sense of relief- it was the comments! So many different readers contributed with their own stories of jumbled beginnings, years spent doing other things because they were afraid to really go for it (love, turning their passion into a career, etc), and an eventual "Aha!" moment. I felt such a metaphorical cloud lift when I read all these journeys! In a world of people looking to stand out from the crowd, sometimes the biggest relief is to know you're not exempt from a human condition- of not being able to see the road ahead with sparkling clarity. Because while there are people who've got it all figured out, there are just as many people who haven't. Thank goodness.

I hope you're all having a great weekend.

Biting the Big Apple, Part I

2013-04-22T22:12:00.000-07:00

Whew. I'm finally getting a chance to really sit down and write about our long weekend in NYC. Miles and I have been pretty inseparable since I got home (I not-so-secretly love it), and I have just been wanting to soak up time with him since we got back. But, just like I kept thinking about Miles while we were away, I now keep thinking about New York.

Let's start at the beginning. Parker had been in San Diego for a conference, so we met in the middle and stayed at the Custom Hotel near LAX on Thursday night. I had booked the Park and Fly package so we could leave our car, but somehow the reservation got mixed up and there was an issue with parking- the main reason we booked the room there! Everything worked out fine, though, because the customer service team there was super helpful in making sure that we not only got a spot for our car but also were upgraded to a huge suite. Parker arrived at the hotel first and called to let me know just how great our room was (actually, it was more like, "What did you say to make them upgrade us to a room like this?" and I can tell you that honestly they were just great about making sure we were happy after the mix-up. I used to be on the receiving end of customer service phone calls so I always try to keep that in mind when things don't go according to plan). Anyway, the room was wonderful and was the size of a small apartment- two full bathrooms, a bedroom, and a living room! At night we could see the airplanes making their returns to LAX and enjoyed watching the line of other planes in the sky waiting for their turn to land.

We woke up Friday ready to go. We didn't really have anything else to do but just head to the airport and wait for our flight, so we hopped on the hotel shuttle and arrived at LAX with hours to spare. Our flight was actually delayed, so we decided to buy day passes to the Virgin America lounge. I am so glad we did that! WiFi, comfortable chairs, TV, air conditioning, snacks, and an open bar were all included in the price of the pass. (Side note: I highly recommend the Virgintini if you want to try a drink before you fly!)

Fast forward a few hours and we were finally on the plane. Parker isn't a fan of flying (I don't mind it at all), but thankfully Virgin America has live TV available to watch and WiFi (for a high price). I was pleasantly occupied by reading a new issue of The New Yorker and keeping my TV on Bravo.

Fast forward another few hours and we had arrived safe and sound at JFK. We grabbed our luggage from baggage claim and met our driver, who no doubt was up past his bedtime (our flight didn't get in until a little before 2 a.m.!). We started driving into the city and as the buildings got closer and closer I felt the excitement building in my chest and creeping up to my throat- I could not stop smiling. I was finally here, in this city I've wanted to see all my life!

The driver pulled up to Morgans Hotel New York, where we were going to be staying for the next four nights. The staff was so courteous and welcoming- even at two in the morning- and gave us our keys. We took the elevator up to the ninth floor and walked into our suite. It was love at first sight! I have to tell you, I had high expectations for this hotel and Morgans exceeded every one. We had a huge window that looked down onto Madison Avenue and looked up to the Empire State building. As I looked out the window, it really hit me that I was in New York! Both Parker and I slept so well (you never know what to expect with hotel beds) and in the morning it was nice to sit at the window and plan what we were going to do that day. I never went up to the Penthouse for breakfast until the morning we were leaving, and I regret that because it was delicious! My only criticism (and it's really more of a suggestion than a criticism), is that the mirrors in the bathroom are really high! I had to stand in front of the full-length mirror in the closet to do my makeup and the lighting wasn't as good. All vanity aside, it was one of my favorite places we've ever stayed and I would definitely stay at another Morgans hotel.

Stay tuned for part two!

We're Here!

2013-04-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Actually, we've been here since the wee hours of Friday morning and we're leaving today! I'm going to write a post of our trip as soon as I can. It's been amazing!

Yikes (A PSA to the Blogosphere)

2013-04-08T00:47:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I "clean house" in the comments section of my Blogger account to get rid of spam that sometimes wiggles its way into being published here on the blog. Today, I was surprised to see that mixed in with the spam were two surprises: one delightful... and one nasty. I'm not used to even seeing comments like that on my blog; this one came totally out of left field and made me wonder, "Now, what exactly did I do to this person?" (Answer: nothing.) That got me thinking about times I've seen other bloggers get harassed in the comments of their posts- sometimes it's because they asked for it (there's only so much whining a reader can take...speaking of which, I'm wrapping this post up in a second- promise), and other times it's completely unwarranted. I just want to give a little reminder to all the bloggers and readers out there that even though we're communicating through the Internet, we're all human. If you have a sincere concern, feel free to send me an email. There's no need to get testy- and if you really feel the need to lash out at someone, at least have some cojones and don't hide behind the name Anonymous. It's not a good look.

Our Week (In a Nutshell)

2013-04-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

Our Week (In a Nutshell) is back! It takes a surprising amount of effort to remember to chronicle our weekly happenings, so I'm making it a priority because Miles is growing and changing so much each day. I don't want to forget anything! He is such a little character lately- constantly making new faces and saying new words. Right now his favorites are "stuck", "yuck", and "truck". (Here's to hoping he doesn't get wind of a certain other word that ends with "uck"!) His favorite thing in the whole wide world is seeing the garbarge truck on Tuesdays- his face lights up and he is mesmerized. It's also maybe my favorite thing in the whole world right now...his joy is infectious.

Pure joy!

Miles's thoughts on the new Bravo show "Married to Medicine"

"Miles, crayons aren't for eating" = The Lip

We took our pups, Gus and Roscoe, to the vet for their yearly checkup and they did great! They are such sweet, goofy dogs and it's so fun to see how much they love walking around with Miles in our yard. Sometimes I feel like Gus and Roscoe are like my first two "fur babies", as I've heard some people call their pets. They have been with Parker and I since we were married and I'm glad Miles will get to grow up with them.

I've been so busy lately! Next Thursday, we're flying to New York City for our long weekend. I can't believe how quickly it's creeping up on us but I'm excited and ready to experience everything NYC has to offer. I've got what I'm calling my "New York best" outfits ready and I have tons of lists (yes, I'm a list maker) of what to pack, our restaurant reservations, what to get ready for Miles, etc. I don't feel like I can sleep well without my lists!

School is going well- I'm in the final seven weeks of the semester and my nose is most definitely to the grindstone. It's nonstop but I really do like being busy. I still have my normal time with Miles, get my homework done whenever he's asleep, and still sneak in my workouts! I thrive on this type of schedule, but I did enjoy the spring break last week.

I hope you all are having a great week!

Happy Feet: Freshly Picked + Giveaway!

2013-03-25T23:53:00.000-07:00

photo credit: Freshly Picked

This week I'm so thrilled to be hosting a Freshly Picked giveaway on my Instagram account! As many of you know, I adore this company and Miles loves wearing his moccasins. They are made of the most wonderful soft yet durable leather and are so easy to get on and off (the trickiest part is getting Miles to even come to a complete stop so I can put them on his feet)! There are so many color and leather options, too. As a mama who loves shoes herself, I feel like these are such a fantastic choice for boys or girls and add the perfect finishing touch to any outfit (although shoes are always the focal point for me)!

In addition to the two pairs of moccs that are being given away on Instagram, I have decided to give away two additional pairs on my blog! To qualify to win, please fill out the Rafflecopter form below. Winners will be announced on Thursday!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Make Up Your Mind Already

2013-03-18T22:26:00.000-07:00

I am both a very decisive and indecisive person. Is that possible? To make up your mind and never look back, or to sometimes make up your mind and then kinda take quick peeks backward to make sure you're still happy with the decision you've made? I am constantly weighing options. Mostly about school, a lot of the time about shoes or hairstyles and sometimes relationships or family. For example, do I want more babies? The answer in my mind's Magic 8 ball right now is try again later. I am actually very much at peace with the fact that right now I do not want to try to get pregnant.

For things like career, I've written before about being indecisive in that area. I find it a luxury that I can even be indecisive. I am wholeheartedly continuing my midwifery studies (because, after all, I love birth and I love the science behind it); meanwhile, I have other dreams. I'd love to design and produce a clothing line, or someday open a restaurant. I've had those dreams for years. Sometimes I feel like it's not okay to want to do so many things- this may be my trashy reality TV love talking, but don't the Real Housewives always get harassed for saying, "Oh, my store opens next week, my book is being released in the summer, and my new hit single will be out in the fall"? It almost seems like it's frowned upon to have your fingers in any more than one pie.

I'm taking it one day at a time, but always dreaming and planning and, of course, studying like crazy. I am taking two classes now and have three more starting in April. It's going to be a mad dash to the end of the semester, but I'm ready.

And now, some photos from this last weekend. Whenever I see these I instantly feel joy and know that a few of my dreams have already come true.

I love his little face and all its expressions.

He's such a little charmer.

My guys.

Fearless.

Walking with my boy.

He'd much rather push the stroller than be in it!

Have a great week!

"Things Are Happening!"

2013-03-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

The SATC girls are calm, cool, collected. A long weekend in NYC with my man? How lovely.
Liz Lemon/me: "New York- the land of infinite food options! Get a map and a pen- this is not a drill!"

I know, I know- more 30 Rock quotes. Apologies and condolences to those of you who have never watched. You definitely should give it a shot if not to enjoy it then to at least understand many of my quotes. (I am a big fan- I even brought along DVDs to the hospital when I was in labor with Miles. Not sure why... I guess I figured if a woman could have an orgasmic birth- which is a whole other topic and conversation- that I could laugh my way through it? Labor may not be the best time of sound logic.) Anyway, I like the show, and I've been thinking about it and all my other favorite shows based in New York because...drumroll... Parker and I are taking a long weekend there next month! I've never been (I know, horrifying) and can't wait to soak it up. I just know I'll love it. Parker knows too, and is worried that I'll want to move there. It may happen.

I immediately emailed my friend Chrystal, really the only true New Yorker I know, for information. She only scoffed a little at my first and only reservation (before talking to her) at Cipriani Downtown. I didn't know and this is part of the reason I love her- she knows all the good spots to eat and shop. Because as much as I tend to think that Liz Lemon is my spirit animal, I do have ~~a bit~~ a lot of a Carrie Bradshaw shoe thing going on.

This will be the longest I've ever been away from Miles, but I am so so excited to have a nice "grown-up" trip with Parker. It will be amazing, I just know it..

If you are a New Yorker or have visited before, what are your favorite spots? Priority goes to food and shopping, as you can tell.

Have a great week!

Foiled Again

2013-03-04T23:56:00.000-08:00

This last weekend I was all over the place! Saturday was my brother's birthday so my mom, sisters, Miles, and I drove to Bakersfield and spent the afternoon with Ernie and my "brother from another mother", Corey. Miles had a blast walking all around their bachelor pad and figuring out how to unplug everything he possibly could. Ernie showed Miles how to use the Xbox controller and crawled with Miles up and down the stairs. It's always fun for me to see how my brother loves Miles and vice versa, especially since Ernie was mainly just my little pesky brother until a year or two ago. Seeing him living in another city so far away made me realize that we really are grown up. Well, mostly.

We decided to go get some dinner before heading home, so we went to Famous Dave's. There was a bit of a wait and Miles was already getting antsy, so I put Miles in the sling and we walked around the restaurant several times. He snuggled in happily and it made my heart happy to have him there with me.

On the drive home from Bakersfield, Miles was having a hard time falling asleep in the van and even though he had a bottle and a blanket, he was crying inconsolably until I turned around (my mom was driving), put my hand on his leg, and said, "Mama's here, honey. You can go to sleep and I'm right here." I gave him some reassuring pats for a few minutes and I watched him fall sound asleep. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it really made me feel good that Miles needed me in that way. The fact that he knows I'm there for him when he's tired but can't fall asleep, even though he's fallen asleep on his own so many nights before and for every night since. It just reminded me how much I love my independent boy but that I am right there, available for him whenever he needs me.

On Sunday, I drove to my grandparents' house in Santa Clarita to have my grandma color and cut my hair. It was a great day with her and I love my new 'do! I felt like I was having a real Kate Middleton moment and I kept sneaking looks in the mirror for the rest of the day.

I wound up staying in Santa Clarita later than I thought I would, but that meant I got to see my great-grandpa Cipriano at dinner and I hadn't seen him for a while so that was really special. I can't believe he is ninety-one years old- he certainly doesn't look like it and he was as charming as always!

I hope you all are having a great week!

CheeZe + Other Things

2013-02-26T11:38:00.001-08:00

So, remember on my last post how I was all like, "Yeah! Fast food sucks! I haven't even given a drive-thru a second look!" and nonchalantly rocking this new diet change? I haven't caved and I'm super happy about that, but I have wanted to and it has been difficult to drive past McD's and into the health food store for a green juice. However, I do feel much better after having the juice so I try and focus on that. Miles is all for the juice and fresh fruits and veggies so that's an added bonus and I love mealtime where he and I can sit and eat together. Oh, and before I move on, I just want to reiterate that it is of the utmost importance to keep kinds of the "right" foods in the house! Between shopping trips is where things get real real.

Not as bad as it looks!

I've been doing a lot of research and looking into all these different diets (vegan vs. vegetarian vs. Paleo vs. Anne Hathaway's Les Mis diet) and instead of looking at where they differ, I've realized that they are all suggesting a plant-based diet (with the exception of Anne's starvation diet- obviously not suggesting it!). This isn't so bad- over the last month I've eaten way more veggies than I'm used to and I not only survived but also feel pretty good- however I know that I love bread, macaroni and cheese (note: I tried the Amy's Vegan Mac n' CheeZe- you know something isn't going to taste right if it's spelled with a Z- and did not enjoy it), and other things that definitely aren't "plant based". What I realized is that changing habits is a very slow process and it doesn't need to be all or nothing from the beginning. Changes take time, and all I need to do is the best I can. If I enjoy some real mac n' cheese every once in a while, it's okay. But I need to make sure I'm getting in a mostly plant-based diet. I forsee a juicer in my future.

Since 2013 is the Year of the Snake (my year) and my goals are to relearn how to take care of myself, what dietary change should I try next? I am thinking March will be No Dairy March. Gulp. That scares me and it's probably a sign that I should go for it.

Here's some photos of Miles and I from this last weekend (we are hoping to be in the next installment of Sakura Bloom's Sling Diaries so my sisters took pictures of Miles and I doing our evening neighborhood walk)!

We're always goofing around...

One of my favorite reasons to babywear- snuggles!

On our walk

Daily uniform- yoga wear, hat, and shoes without socks

I hope you're all having a great week!

Halfway!

2013-02-15T22:34:00.002-08:00

"Enjoy your vegan cheese and lentil soups, sucker!"

I'm excited to say that Fast-Food Free February is already halfway over! I am feeling pretty great and have really only felt like caving once- two days ago, when Parker brought In-N-Out home for his dinner. It smelled so so good. Words can't describe how I wanted to jump into the car and get myself a cheeseburger and a chocolate shake! Thankfully, I stuck to my goal and today I when I stepped on the scale I noticed a new low which was a nice little incentive to keep going!

I thought I'd share one of my new substitutions for my typical Starbucks drink along with some of my guides and inspirations for eating better:

I've started ordering the Light version and the taste isn't different enough to keep ordering the regular version, which is great. If I absolutely need to have whipped cream I can just add it but I'm starting to get used to not having any.

I've been watching various food documentaries on Netflix like Food, Inc. and Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, and I've started thinking more and more about trying a vegan diet. Don't get me wrong, I still love a beautiful leather bag, shoes, or jacket- I just want to see the difference a vegan diet would make in how I feel, my energy level, my skin, and my weight. I think my favorite movie I've watched so far is Food Matters because although it recommends a total vegan diet, it comes from an approach of "do what you can" instead of quitting every food you know and love cold turkey. I definitely recommend watching this movie first.

As far as books go, the two I've read are Skinny Bitch and Mama Glow. They are both great for practical tips on what to avoid and lists of foods to try. If you're trying to get pregnant, Mama Glow has a pre-conception chapter that will help prep your body for pregnancy (and, of course, focuses mainly on pregnancy, birth, and motherhood).

Have you ever tried a vegan or vegetarian diet? If not, would you ever consider it? I'd love to hear.

Happy Weekend!

恭禧发财! (Happy New Year!)

2013-02-10T22:54:00.001-08:00

photo credit

Today marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year- I'm particularly excited because it is the Year of the Snake (my year)! Even though I'm not Chinese, I've always felt a connection and interest with the Chinese language and culture. And, of course, the food.

Do you celebrate the Chinese New Year? If so, how? I'd love to hear!

恭禧发财!

Baby Steps, Part II

2013-02-07T11:24:00.000-08:00

photo credit

I have to tell you all that this is possibly the slowest week I've experienced in a long time. I decided that for the month of February, I wouldn't eat any fast food. I know to some of you this is no big deal, but for me this is hopefully the first baby step in what will be a lifelong appreciation for my physical body and what it is capable of.

Since Miles was born it had just become so much easier to head to the nearest drive-thru and grab something I could eat in the car on my way home. The more I thought about this new habit, the more I felt grossed out by it. Obviously, the number on the scale started going up bit by bit and then I just felt helpless and grossed out and tired. Once Miles was old enough to start on solids, I researched to no end and put all my efforts into making sure Miles was introduced to healthy foods; meanwhile, I didn't care at all what was going into my own body. The New Year came and went, taking a pregnancy with it. When I had the miscarriage I just felt foggy and so physically heavy with sadness that I didn't even feel like eating- when I did, it was fast food. A big part of why I'm going back to the basics of eating well is because I'm desperately trying to find tangible ways to treat my body more carefully and with respect, because all I've felt lately is that it's a failure which just disappoints me again and again. I think it's normal to feel that disappointment; however, my body also gave me the gift of Miles and the ability to nourish him in his first months of his life. The more I study science, the more I appreciate the endless to-do list that my body goes through every second of every minute of every day, just to function as it should. I am starting to see the value in this body, and I am grateful for it.

Like many of the realizations I've had since becoming a mother, Miles has inspired me to live more fully in ways I never expected. Before he started walking on his own, he would grip my hands so tightly that it would cut off circulation to my fingers. We've walked this way together for months, and I don't know what changed in his mind on that first day he decided to finally let go and try to walk on his own, but the look of pure joy on his face when he realized for himself what he can do- that was my inspiration. It's been a week now and I can already tell a difference in my energy level and, overall, I feel pretty darn great. That's not to say that I don't crave a cheeseburger, but I have plenty of healthy alternatives stocked up in my fridge and that has been key in keeping hunger and the temptation to drive-thru at bay. So, while I'm cautiously optimistic about continuing on, I do still have twenty-one days to go! Keep your fingers crossed for me.

PS- If you have any go-to recipes that are healthy and somewhat quick to prepare, leave a link or the recipe in the comments! I'm planning on trying some new ones in the next weeks and I will share all my favorites.

Much love to you all!

Baby Steps

2013-02-04T22:23:00.000-08:00

Over the last week and a half Miles has really started walking to the point where he is now walking just as much, if not a little more, than he crawls. In the beginning I really slathered the praise on thick, clapping and saying, "Yay!" every time he would walk, sway, and then plop onto his little cushion of a diaper. I soon realized that as soon as he would walk anywhere he'd glance back at me for praise, so I started trying to help him realize that he should be proud of himself instead of constantly looking back for validation. I started saying things like, "Look at you walking! You must love going from room to room!" and he would smile proudly and continue on his way. Now walking is becoming a normal part of his day and I can tell how much he enjoys his newly discovered method of transportation. As a mama, I certainly feel so proud of my baby boy! If I feel this much joy out of his steps, I can't imagine how I'll feel in other upcoming moments like riding a bike or going to school...sniff.

I have to tell how how proud this last photo makes me. He is so my child! I make this face all the time and I can't help but love every inch of his little stinker mug.

Happy Monday!

Feeling the Chemistry

2013-01-31T13:40:00.000-08:00

The semester has started and I am loving it. I'm feeling really confident and I earned a 100% on my first quiz, which was exciting and has infused me with energy for the coming weeks. One week down, sixteen to go!

I'm going to kick this semester in the boo-tay!

What else has been going on? Well, Miles has really been walking a lot. I love it! He toddles around with his little arms up for balance and it is probably the cutest thing I've ever seen (although I always say that about him). Last weekend, we helped my brother move out of his apartment and Miles had a great time crawling between all of us and then just took off walking across the living room, doing his dinosaur growl the whole time. He is such a little ham.

He could watch me turn my bedside lamp on and off all day and still get excited each time! He loves lights!

Walking with Uncle Ernie

My little baby is turning into a boy in what feels like a blink!

I can't believe Miles is thirteen months old already. Even in just looking from last month to this month, he is so different- new teeth, new steps, new words... My absolute favorite thing is when he gives me hugs and kisses, because he's definitely not a clingy baby. To have my independent little explorer want to stop for a little cuddle time is always welcome and I treasure it with all my heart!

And, of course, before I go...new shoes! They're soft leather ballet flats from Zara with an embellished heel. They're a twist on a classic but I get so many compliments because I suppose people really notice a little extra bling!

Happy Thursday!

Sunday Brunch

2013-01-20T22:29:00.000-08:00

This afternoon, Parker and I headed to SLO for a late brunch at the Granada Bistro. The recently renovated restaurant and hotel has quickly shot to the top of my favorite places to eat on the Central Coast. It was the perfect location for us to have some time to ourselves while savoring some amazing food and dessert (yes, in case you didn't know- dessert after brunch is perfectly acceptable but positively dangerous for a waistline!). Here are some photos from our brunch date:

Parker, the handsome devil that he is.

Such a gorgeous, sunny day in SLO!

Cherry cheesecake for dessert

After we got home, I decided to go out thrifting and found some amazing steals! A brand new Ali Ro dress for $5.95, jeans, and more dresses. I was so excited! This is my happy face after a successful outing to the thrift stores:

I hope you all have had a wonderful weekend. Happy Sunday!

Keep On Keepin' On

2013-01-19T15:59:00.000-08:00

photo credit

This week has been pretty rough (thank you all for the sweet comments- they mean so much to me) and I'm so looking forward to starting the spring semester on Tuesday. I can't wait to get back to studying and learning, even though the winter break was refreshing and much-enjoyed. You know the saying- "when you rest, you rust"!

I've always been at a loss for an answer to that often-asked question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" There's just always been so much that I want to do. This week, in the midst of many tears, I felt a bit more clarity about the answer to that question as I pursue becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife. It's been years in the making and on my mind, ever since I saw my first real live birth. Without really talking much about it, I've been slowly but surely finishing up all the prerequisites I need for the BSN program and I've been loving it. Reading extensively about birth and pregnancy, talking with women and midwives, and especially witnessing more births has just increased my love for it. And during the time leading up to the beginning of the BSN program, I'm just excited to extend my knowledge with each day of class and dive in.

This weekend I'm heading to the store to stock up on all those "back to school" things: notebooks, highlighters and pens, a weekly planner. And, of course, at the top of my to-do list is renting my textbooks for the semester! I'm using Campus Book Rentals, a company that makes renting textbooks simple and affordable- I was excited to see my psychology book listed for 65% less than at my campus bookstore, and with free shipping- with a donation to Operation Smile for every book rented. You can even highlight in the books if you need to! Campus Book Rentals also has a sister site, Rent Back, where you can send in your textbooks from previous semesters, rent them to other students, and earn money each time your textbook is checked out. If you're getting ready to head back to school this semester, definitely go take a look!

Have a great weekend!

This post was sponsored by CampusBookRentals.com; however, the views and opinions expressed in this post are purely my own.

The Anatomy of a Miscarriage

2013-01-16T18:53:00.000-08:00

(My little ray of sunshine. I don't know what I'd do without him.)

Well, here we are. When I last wrote on Sunday night, I was filled with excitement for our first prenatal appointment. I want to tell you all what happened between then and now. It's safe to say that the elation and anticipation has subsided completely- I'm crushed and this isn't a feel-good post but I feel it's important to share because it's okay to talk about miscarriages and the feelings that go along with it. So here we go.

Monday morning we headed up to my doctor's office and I felt good about it. We walked into the exam room and my stomach was fluttering, just like it had been before I saw the peanut that would become Miles for the first time. Dr. K walked in and we talked for a minute, about Miles and how things had been going the last year. He started the ultrasound, and things got quiet. Things weren't how they were supposed to be, and he ordered some blood work- scheduled for two different days- to see whether my hormone levels were going up or down. After Dr. K left the room, Parker and I sat there silently and, without speaking, I got dressed and we left. My stomach felt like it was in a hard knot and a heavy sadness I can physically feel settled down over me. It hasn't left since.

I've had early miscarriages before that, had I not been paying attention, would've probably just been noted as a late period. This one feels different. I bought maternity jeans. I felt nauseous. I dug out all my pregnancy books and stacked them next to my bed, contentedly refreshing my memory about what biological wonder was going on in my body before I went to sleep for the night. And now there's no reason to do any of that anymore. It really, really hurts.

A few times I've had to stop myself from going to a place where I blame myself because I wasn't initially over the moon with the news of being pregnant. Thank God there are people in my life were quick to drag me back from that place as well. It's a scary place to be near. I know that this isn't my fault, but I know that I want there to be someone I can point a finger at and as far as miscarriages are concerned there is no one to blame. My doctor has been so kind but straightforward in reminding me of this- that miscarriages happen and the body deals with it, and then the soul deals with it, and then life goes on.

Emotionally, I've gone from stoic to sobbing. The tears have come at the most random times. Like when a song by Pink came on the radio. (When's the last time anyone's cried to Pink? Good gracious.) Or when I had just finished getting my blood drawn this morning. Nothing like getting a surprise bear hug from a busty nurse cooing, "Ay mami, no no no crying" and then walking out sobbing while everyone looks away awkwardly except for the one old guy who points a crooked finger and loudly asks, "What's her problem?"

Parker has been amazing throughout this whole process. I know he's going through his own version of sadness and hurt but he has been strong enough to be there for me and help me take care of Miles. He is just the best husband I could ask for. Parker's parents have also given us a lot of time just the two of us by having Miles over at their house a few times and that has been nice.

So, where do we go from here? I am sure that I will not be trying to get pregnant anytime soon. It's important to take time and work things through physically and emotionally and I want to feel like myself again, to be happy and enjoy life with Parker and Miles and continue on as a family. I know we will get through this together and I'm so thankful to have them in my life. If at some point Parker and I feel like trying for another baby, then I'm sure that's we're going to do. For now, though, I'm clinging to my family of three and loving them with everything I have.

Time Goes By...So Slowly

2013-01-13T21:48:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'm quoting Madonna. No, I'm not embarrassed! It's perfectly fitting for how I've been feeling lately. Now that I've settled in to being pregnant again and getting ready for the crazy, wonderful ride that will be two babies, I feel like time has started crawling again. I'm taking this as a good thing (more time with Miles, more time to mentally sort everything out) but there's also things I'm so curious to know about this little Blueberry (that's what Parker and I are calling this one "in utero"- Miles was Bean). Thank goodness I have an appointment with Dr. K tomorrow- I want to see that little heart beating and make sure there's only one little Blueberry in there!

Always looking at the lights

My little Bean

Baby Zoolander strikes again

That lip!

In the meantime, I'm enjoying spending as much time as I can with Miles. He is getting so close to walking full-time on his own but doesn't like it when he falls. I don't blame him. He is so dramatic sometimes, and it cracks me up- but if I actually laugh at his little antics, he'll just stick out his lower lip and lay his head down on the floor very slowly and turn his face away. Then he checks to see if I'm still looking at him. I'll rub his back and say, "Now, now, baby- come back and play with Mama!" and he'll decide whether or not he's done pouting (I don't dare laugh then or the whole thing starts over!). What I'd like to know is how a twelve-month old baby knows how to put on such a show!

I'll update tomorrow after my doctor's appointment! I hope you all had a good weekend.