Jokes-Every-Day

2012-06-11T11:31:00.001-07:00

Funny Signs

2012-06-09T13:29:00.000-07:00

Do it Sherlock!

2012-06-08T12:14:00.001-07:00

Advice

2012-06-07T12:12:00.002-07:00

Feel free to send me any of your jokes. I will add them in if they are funny

2012-06-07T12:11:00.000-07:00

Unlikely Health and Safety Advice:

Do not put superglue on your penis...again

Radioactive protective clothing must be worn at all times apart from at lunch or when having a shit

Warning. Shit.

Now wash your balls

Anybody who says "Elf and Safety" will be shot

Semtex - Do not place up arse

Chairs can be lethal

Science Jokes

2012-06-05T00:42:00.004-07:00

Stop talking about potassium, K?

Do you know any good science jokes? Na

Wow, your such a boron.

All of these are crap since jokes because the good ones argon

2012-06-04T10:54:00.001-07:00

2012-06-04T00:32:00.001-07:00

Why can't a T-Rex clap it's hands? It's dead

Science lessons - 1% learning, 99% trying to work out how people find this stuff

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live

Life would be so much easier if this was the answer (though the answer is x=-6 or x=1, but as if you wanted to know)

General Jokes

2012-06-03T12:19:00.002-07:00

Paper Cut : A tree's one glorious moment of revenge

*iPhone falls to the floor* Breaks screen...*Android falls to the floor* Floor breaks

"What mouse has 2 legs", "I don't know", "Micky Mouse, but what duck has 2 legs", "Donald Duck!" "No, all ducks you retard!"

If time is money, then are ATM's time machines?

My teacher is always talking to her imaginary friend named "Class"

It takes 10 minutes for James and John to check in for a flight, how long does it take Ahmed and Imran?

3-6-12

2012-06-03T11:51:00.003-07:00

Just don't think about it!

Too late

Some picture jokes for today.

1/6/11

2011-06-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Things newsreader would never say:

This attack was too gruesome to describe, but let's have a go anyway!

31/5/11

2011-05-31T05:25:00.001-07:00

Things you wouldn't hear on Star Trek:

When I said "Beam me up", I think you missed a very important part of me.

30/5/11

2011-05-29T23:49:00.000-07:00

Things you wouldn't hear in Star Trek:

Captain, was that a British Police Box going the other way?

P.S. I am unlikely to be on tommorow...sorry :(

29/5/11

2011-05-29T05:23:00.000-07:00

Things you wouldn't hear at Asda:

Can Tes Cosis-Cheaper, thats Tes Cosis Cheaper please come to the reception please.

(Sorry if you don't get it, but the spaces in other places)

28/5/11

2011-05-28T13:12:00.000-07:00

Unlikely junk mail:

Pizza, buy one, pay full price.

27/5/11

2011-05-27T13:03:00.001-07:00

Ways the Prime Minister should address the nation:

It's time you know the true earthlings!

26/5/11

2011-05-26T07:56:00.001-07:00

Things you don't want to hear on a space flight to Mars:

Today is "Bring your child to work day" so this shuttle is been flown by my 3 year-old daughter Fifi

25/5/11

2011-05-25T11:51:00.001-07:00

Bad things to hear on a flight to Mars:

Are we there yet!? Are we there yet!? Are we there yet!? Are we there yet!? Are we there yet!? Are we there yet!?

24/5/11

2011-05-24T12:26:00.001-07:00

Things you wouldn't hear on a DIY show:

And today we will show you how to unblock the toilet after the huge s*** I had last night

23/5/11

2011-05-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

Things you wouldn't hear on a DIY programme:

And that's how you plumb a toilet. And now I'm gonna have a crap. Hurrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggg!

22/5/11

2011-05-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

Bad things to hear at Christmas:

Being an atheist I didnt't think you wanted anything

21/5/11

2011-05-21T01:13:00.000-07:00

Things you wouldn't read on a packet:

We use only the cheapest horse meat in screw it, it's just a cat!

20/5/11

2011-05-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

Bad ways to start a famous speech:

Wassup homies!

19/5/11

2011-05-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

Famous Last Words:

They couldn't hit an eleph....

18/5/11

2011-05-18T12:06:00.000-07:00

"Hey guys, how about a headline for the newspaper tomorrow, French Fries"

James French, sent to death by electric chair