Jokes, GAGs, Fun, Masti, SMS, Shayari, Images

Paris hilton in Hr Ad

2011-11-20T23:17:00.000-08:00

Rexona

2011-11-20T23:16:00.001-08:00

Robbing of chalk piece

2011-11-20T23:14:00.001-08:00

The start of item numbers

2011-11-20T23:12:00.000-08:00

jokes to laugh out in tears

2011-11-20T23:01:00.000-08:00

Ek aadmi ne apni wife ko khat likha,"IS Mahine salary ke badle 100 kiss bhej raha hun".WIFE ne jawab diya,'Aap ke salary ke badle 100 kiss milay,hisab bhej rahi hun.Doodh wala 2 kiss main hee maan gaya,Teacher ko 7 deni padi ,Sabzi wala 7 main nahi mana toh 9 dene pade, Kiryanewala 9 kiss se nahi mana, usko 5 aur di, Makaan malik toh roz 6-7 ley hee jaata hai,Aap chinta mat karna, mere pass approx 35 aur hai, yeh mahina aaram se kat jayega!!:-) HA HA Ha

Train main wife husband se boli:' Aaj suhagrat hai kuch karo no!'

Pati bola:'dekha nahin samne kya likha hai?'CHALTI TRAIN MAIN CHADNA MANA HAI...

God : what do you want?

Boy : A Beautiful Girl

God : If u are a muslim, I will give u katrina kaif

If u are a Hindu , i will give u bipasha basu

and If you are a christian i will give u jenelia d'souza

Whats your name my son?

Boy : Abdul Vijay Farnandes

God: Rakhi sawant de saale ko bahut oversmart ban raha hai :)

Bhayankar pet dard k karan doctors ko imran hasmi ka operation karna pada

and u know what they found..??

5kg LIPSTICK.

ZARIN,

KARINA

KAITRINA.

Tino ki skin Ek Jaisi Gori hai. kyo?

socho!

Kyoki Tino k Naam me RIN Aata hai.

"Rin de Choka Dene Wali Safedi".

To Keep Her warm

2011-11-20T22:57:00.000-08:00

Massage dry ya wet?

2011-11-20T22:56:00.000-08:00

Desi Pandora

2011-11-20T22:41:00.001-08:00

Don't fall on a girl

2011-11-20T22:39:00.000-08:00

MRS right

2011-11-20T22:18:00.000-08:00

all cool hall with alcohol !

2010-06-14T11:53:00.000-07:00

A blunder on the Fashion Ramp

2010-06-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

Positive thinking

2009-05-20T02:38:00.001-07:00

With all the people trying to pull you down and waiting for you to fail, how can you stay positive?

Try this A to Z tips.

A - Achieving your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places because they will only drag you down. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”

B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do. Believe in your possibilities and your dreams. Every advancement of humankind has taken place because someone believed in themselves.

C – Consider all of the angles and aspects of everything you encounter, whether it is people or situations. Motivation comes from strength of purpose. Being able to see both points of view will give you more chance of being successful and keeping those around you motivated too.

D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Every successful person from J K Rowling to Walt Disney to Sylvester Stallone to Thomas Edison had multiple failures before being successful. Sometimes their failures or rejections ran into the hundreds before they achieved success.

E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.

F – Family and Friends. Use your family and friends to help you stay motivated. The big football teams have cheerleaders and fans to encourage them. Your family and friends can be your cheerleaders and fans. Use them to keep you going when you feel your motivation drifting.

G – Give that little bit extra. Self improvement happens everywhere all the time, whether you are at home, at work or at school. Anthony Robbins tells us that the difference in effort between excellent and outstanding is miniscule, yet the difference in rewards is massive. Giving that little bit extra can put you into the outstanding.

H – Hang on to your dreams. There may be times when it looks bleak, but hang on to your dreams. The night is darkest just before the dawn. It is at this moment that you are closest to success and 95% of people will give up. Push through this moment and you’ll achieve your dreams.

I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t get involved in their dramas or toxicity – just walk away. Surround yourself with people who will encourage and support you. Remove those who want to pull you down and watch you fail from your life. You’ll find it much easier to stay motivated.

J – Joy and gratitude. Perhaps two of the fundamentals for motivation and success is to be joyful in what you do and grateful for what you have.

K – Keep pushing forwards no matter how hard life may seem. In the toughest moments you can choose to move forwards or to run away. It’s your decision – one path brings you closer to the success, the other takes you away from it. Which do you want to follow?

L – Learn to love your self. This isn’t as easy as it sounds for most people, but by loving yourself you will be happier and more motivated because you will believe you deserve what you achieve.

M – Make things happen. Motivation and success doesn’t come from sitting in front of the television drinking coke and eating pizza. Take action and you’ll achieve your dreams.

N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game. At the end of the day, if you live a dishonest life, it will come back to you. Living an honest, fair life allows you to be proud of what you do.

O – Open your eyes. Everyone has a set of blinkers that they wear and see everything through them, i.e. how they would like things to be. Look at life with open eyes and see things how they are, and see them how you want them to be. Then take action to make it happen.

P – Practice makes perfect. The more you practice, the better you become. A top sportsman doesn’t reach their status through a single practice or game. They practice harder and longer than anyone else, and as such, are rewarded more than anyone else.

Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, which do you want to be?

R – Ready yourself. Always be ready to take advantage of the opportunities and situations presented to you. Prepare in advance, and ignore the voice telling you to put it off until tomorrow. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark!

S – Stop procrastinating. You can put it all off until tomorrow, but one day there will be no more tomorrows. Start procrastinating about procrastinating and do tomorrows jobs today.

T – Take control of your life. Discipline and self control are synonymous with motivation. So many people believe their lives are out of their control. Look at your life in detail and you’ll discover you have more areas under your control than you think.

U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Understand others and strive to be understood.

V – Visualise it. Your sub-conscious knows no difference between your imagination and reality, so if you rehearse your success in your mind, then your sub-conscious will believe in it and make it happen.

W – Want it more than anything. Every successful person has had a burning desire to achieve their goals. The Wright brothers didn’t invent the aeroplane because there was nothing on the television. They had a burning desire to succeed and kept going, even in the face of setbacks.

X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends. This X-Factor sets you aside from the crowd and marks you out for success.

Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, thinks or talks like you. Value your unique gifts, whatever they are and use them for your success.

What a Kiss

2009-05-20T00:23:00.000-07:00

1) what kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u, KISS ON CHEEK=lets be friends, KISS ON NECK=i want u, KISS ON LIPS=i love u, KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried away!

2)Kissing you baby is my dream. I am strawberry & you are the cream. Handle me gently keep me real keen.U & i together babes is passion so extreme!

3)A peach is a peach.a plum is a plum.a kiss is not a kiss unless its with tongues.so open ur mouth & close ur eyes & give ur tongue some exercise.

4)Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People
Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga

5) If luvin' was aginst the law,and kissin' was a crime,i would gladly spend my life with u,in prison doin' time.

6) Whats live ? Live is love. Whats love ? Love is kissing. Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.

7) I've been thinking about u and me..if we were alone how it would be..I would kiss u all over till ur feeling hot..then give u a sensation when I hit the spot!

8) The fluffy cloud may kiss the sky, the rose may kiss the butterfly, the morning due may kiss the grass but you my friend may kiss my lips!!

9) What is Kiss? Kiss is an upper preparation for lower invasion, that will lead to further penetation,in fast acceleration that will build the next generation.

Sardar ji

2009-05-20T00:10:00.000-07:00

A Sardar went 2 hotel, ordered chiken, Waiter comes with the order

Surdar:Murgi di taang kithe hai?

Waiter:Woh langra tha.

Surdar: Dil?

Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee.

Surdar: Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha

There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the

sardars in the 'mayyat' are dancing the bhangra and singing and general

'balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that instead

of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its marriage baraat. So one of

them asks Santa Singh, ;Singh Saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur

aap naach rahe ho?; .....comes the reply, ;Haan ji! Hai hi baat badi kushi

ki!!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar brain tumour se mara hai!!!

One day Sardar happened to see a marathon race.

"What the guys are doing" asked the sardar.

" We are running a marathon. The winner will get prize" replied one

runner.

"Only the winner will get prize! Then why others are participating!!"

Exclaimed the Sardar

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?"

"Just a sec," says the receptionist. "Thank you." says the Sardar.

Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?

Because below 18 was not allowed

Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.

Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like

"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai.

SMS

2009-05-17T07:38:00.000-07:00

-Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho

Aansu tere nikle to aankhe meri ho

Khuda kare ki dosti hamari itni gahri ho

Ki naukri tu kare aur salary meri ho.

-Sardarji goes to the library and slams the book on the table and

complains ,"Too many characters no story!!"

Librarian ," so u are the idiot who took the telefone directory."

-Ladki:

Chandni chaand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi,

Mohabbat ek se hoti hai, hazaaron se nahi.

Ladka:

Chandni agar chaand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga,

Mohabbat agar ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga.

-I read smoking is bad, I stop smoking.

I read drinking is bad, I stop drinking.

I read sex is bad, I stop reading.

-Sardiya aati hain,

Sardiya chali jaati hain

Yaad aati hain

Yaad chali jaati hain

Par biwiyan aati hain

Lekin jaane ka nam nahi leti hain

-Rivers can dry

Flowers can shy

you can forget me but how can I

-You r my friend HONA.

I don`t want u to KHONA.

But I want place in your heart`s KONA

& the otherwise

I will start RONA .

Jaldi sms karona oh mera SONA.

-Paani me pathar na maro wo paani koi aur bhi peeta hain,

Jeeyo to muskura kar,tumhe dekh kar koi aur bhi jeeta hain.

-koi patthar se na mare mere diwane ko

koi patthar se na mare mere diwane ko

Nuclear energy ka zamana hain,bomb se uda de saale ko..

DAYS IN OFFICE

2008-12-16T06:59:00.000-08:00

Mathematics

2008-12-16T06:08:00.000-08:00

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man!!!!!

HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman; Before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Dil

2008-11-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

Humko humi se chura lo,

Dil mai kahin tum chupa lo,

Hum akele kho na jayein,

Door tumse ho na jayein,

Paas aoe,

AOE.

AOE..

AOE...

ruko.

ruko..

pehle SAFEGUARD se tu NAHA Lo...

_________________
Ek pyaari si surat,
do jheel si aankhen,
kuch meethi meethi baatein,
ek nazuk si ada,
kuch masti kuch maza,
thori si shararat,
bohot saari MOhabbat,
dost ek aesa,
jiski pyaari har ada,
THANKS...
aap ne mere baarey mai itna padha....

Love programme

2008-11-27T11:23:00.000-08:00

Abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo
Aab main dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloo
Apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao
Ai jaaneman apne dil ka password to batao
Woh to hum hain jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhte hain
Warna aap jaise kitney hi softwares bazaar main bikte hain
Roz raat ko aap mere sapne main aate ho
Mere pyar ko mouse bana ke ungaliyon pe nachaate ho
Tere pyar ka email mere dil ko Lubhataa hai
Par beech main tere baap ka virus aataa hai
Aur karvaaoge humse kitnaa intezaar
Hamaare dil ki site pe kabhi enter to maro yaar

Sher Arz kiya hai

2008-11-27T11:14:00.000-08:00

Chandni Raat Hai Aur Alam-E-Tanhayi,
Zindagi Yaad Ke Daman Mein Simat Aayi Hai,

Maar Dale Na Kahin Dard-E-Judayi Mujhko,
Ab To Aaja Ke Meri Jaan Pe Ban Aayi Hai,

Utre Utre Nazar Aate Hai Phoolon Ke Chehre,
Tere Jaane Se Gulistan Par Khizan Chhayi Hai,

Jisne Barbaad Mohabbat Mein Kiya Tha Kal Tak,
Woh Aankhein Aaj Mere Haal Pe Sharmayi Hai,

Tere Maykhane Mein Jitni Bhi De De Saaki,
Aaj To Maine Bhi Peene Ki Kasam Khayi Hai,

Jis Jagah Kuch Nazar Nahi Aata Hai Jalwon Ke Siwa,
Zindagi Us Mod Pe Mujhe Le Aayi Hai...

Some great sms jokes

2008-11-26T06:41:00.000-08:00

Mehangi Jaga
• Wife: ”Mujhe kisi mehangi jaga le ke chaliye na ji”
.
.
.
Husband: Chalo, tayyar ho jao…”
.
.
.
.
.
Petrol pump chaltay hain:D

Aaj “TOM & JERRY” Ki Barsi Hai (Pappu)

Aaj “TOM & JERRY” ki barsi hai
un ki yaad mein
plz ye SMS kam se kum kisi
1 “CARTOON” ko zaroor send karo,
me ne apna farz pura ker dia.
ab aap ki baari hay

Ek Sardar Ki Chatri Me Hole Tha! (King)

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole tha,
kisine pucha,umbrella me hole kyu?
Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.

Always Ask God To Give U What U Deserve
Always ask God to give u what u deserve,

not what you desire.

Its bcoz your desires may be few,

but you deserves a lot!

Life Is A Game, Play It

Life is a game, play it; life is a challenge, meet it; life is an opportunity, capture it. In life, the best revenge is living

A Person Who Can Explain Color
A person who can explain color to a blind man can explain everything in life

SMS Friendship Funny

2008-11-26T06:28:00.000-08:00

A Good Friend Is Like A Light House
It Doesn’t Ring Bells, Fire Guns To Call Attention
When You Are Lost …It Simply Stands Tall And Shines …

Friendship is like playing on seesaw, not only because its always fun with u…but also because i wouldn’t mind going down to see u rise…

TrUe FrIeNdS aRe LiKe MoRnInGs,
YoU cAn’T hAvE tHeM tHe WhOlE dAy
BuT YoU cAn bE sUrE
tHeY wIlL bE dErE wHeN yOu WaKe Up,ToMoRoW, NxT yEaR n 4eVeR

I’ve made so many mistakes in my life,
but something I did right was to have you as a friend
and I definitely wont make another mistake
of losing someone like you.

——————————————

My heart’s like an open book,
it depends on how u read me.
Don”t judge me by my cover..
Look in and discover..
i will be ur True friend
for ever…

——————————————

Words begin with ….A….B….C….Number begin with….1….2….3….Music begin with….SA….RE….GA….BUT….? FRIENDSHIP begins with….”You&Me”

——————————————

I don’t remember where we met,
or how or when or why.
I only knew that when we did
I found in you a “Friend.”