Jokes, humor , Forwards, Funny pictures and videos

Cell phone forwards

2011-12-26T06:16:00.002-08:00

A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

Cell phone jokes

2011-12-26T06:16:00.000-08:00

A reputable citizen had left four umbrellas to be repaired. At noon he had luncheon in a restaurant, and as he was departing he absent-mindedly started to take an umbrella from a hook near his hat.

"That's mine, sir," said a woman at the next table.

He apologized and went out. When he was going home in a street car with his four repaired umbrellas, the woman he had seen in the restaurant got in. She glanced from him to his umbrellas and said:

"I see you had a good day."

Acephalous Management

2011-12-24T06:42:00.000-08:00

Each day my ex-co-worker and I picked a new word of the day. On the day I resigned, the word was "acephalous" which means "headless or lacking defined head" or " having no leader".

Later that day I was asked by the president why I had decided to leave the company. I explained to him that we had differing management styles and that, " i cannot bring myself to agree with your acephalous management practices."

He replied, " That's because you don't have the experience I do in these matters." . I agreed.

Unbelievable Landings

2011-12-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

A selection of the most frightening and unbelievable landings ever caught on camera. Thanks for watching. For those who are curious, below are the list of aircraft and airports

AIRPORT and AIRCRAFT INFORMATION

-First landing
Boeing 757-200 - American Airlines
Tonconton Intl (MHTG)

-Second landing
L410
Unknown Airfield

-Third landing
747-300 or 400
Kai Tak (VHHX)

-Fourth landing
A321 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

-Fifth landing
Bae 146 - Swiss air
Zurich Intl (LSZH)

-Sixth Landing
A320 - TAP
Lisbon Portela (LPPT)

Genius Cow...

2011-12-17T05:42:00.001-08:00

It happens only in India !!!

2011-12-17T05:40:00.001-08:00

How Gullible Are We?

2011-12-16T08:53:00.001-08:00

A student at Eagle Rock Junior High won first prize at the Greater Idaho Falls Science Fair, April 26. He was attempting to show how conditioned we have become to alarmists practicing junk science and spreading fear of everything in our environment. In his project he urged people to sign a petition demanding strict control or total elimination of the chemical "dihydrogen monoxide."
And for plenty of good reasons, since:

it can cause excessive sweating and vomiting
it is a major component in acid rain
it can cause severe burns in its gaseous state
accidental inhalation can kill you
it contributes to erosion
it decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
it has been found in tumors of terminal cancer patients

He asked 50 people if they supported a ban of the chemical.

Forty-three (43) said yes,
six (6) were undecided,
and only one (1) knew that the chemical was water.

The title of his prize winning project was, "How Gullible Are We?"He feels the conclusion is obvious.

30 most funniest books

2011-12-16T08:48:00.001-08:00

1. Cold Comfort Farm
by Stella Gibbons

2. Three Men in a Boat and Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow
by Jerome K. Jerome

3. But Enough About You and If You Can't Live Without Me, Why Aren't You Dead Yet?
by Cynthia Heimel

4. The Sylvia Chronicles
by Nicole Hollander

5. When Do They Serve the Wine?
by Liza Donnelly

6. In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey's Night of Golden Memories
by Jean Shepard

7. How I Got To Be Perfect
by Jean Kerr

8. The World According to Dave Barry or anything else written
by Dave Barry

9. Heartburn
by Nora Ephron

10. Without Feathers
by Woody Allen

11. The Life and Loves of a She-Devil
by Fay Weldon

12. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
by Anita Loos

13. The Complete Stories of Dorothy Parker
by Dorothy Parker

14. With Malice Towards Some
by Margaret Halsey

15. Molly Ivins Can't Say That, Can She?
by Molly Ivins

16. The Best of Robert Benchley or anything else written
by Robert Benchley

17. How to Raise Your I.Q. By Eating Gifted Children
by Lewis Burke Frumkes

18. Social Studies and Metropolitan Life
by Fran Lebowitz

19. A Marriage Made in Heaven--or Too Tired for an Affair and
I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression
by Erma Bombeck

20. City Boy
by Herman Wouk

21. The Loved One
by Evelyn Waugh

22. Catcher in the Rye
by J.D. Salinger

23. Brain Droppings
by George Carlin

24. Help! I'm a Prisoner in a Chinese Bakery! and
Whoever Owns His Own Home, Deserves It
by Alan King

25. The Hypochondriac's Guide To Life. And Death.
By Gene Weingarten

26. The Queen and I
by Sue Townshend

27. Not Waving, But Drowning and
A Good Time Was Had by All
by Stevie Smith

28. Small World
by David Lodge

29. The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe
by Jane Wagner

30. Is Sex Necessary?
by James Thurber and E.B. White

2/3- Secret Russian Aircraft of WWII

2011-12-04T09:40:00.001-08:00

History has overlooked the unimaginable hardships Russian designers faced under the paranoid rule of Josef Stalin. Frequent purges represented a constant threat. Yet, in spite of the ever-present danger, Soviet aircraft designers mastered technical hurdles astonishing even by today's standards. This hour features extensive archive images of never-before-seen aircraft and the designers who brought them to life. The innovative aircraft profiled include a swept-wing Delta aircraft design; a rocket-powered fighter; a long distance fixed-wing aircraft with features later incorporated in the U-2 spyplane; a flying tank prototype; a submarine-bomber combination; and a canard-wing aircraft. And we highlight remarkable aircraft launched after Stalin's death in 1953, like the delta-winged supersonic Concordski and the world's largest plane, the Antonov 124 Ruslan.

What does it feel like to fly over planet Earth?

2011-12-04T09:36:00.001-08:00

Amazing Animals in Tiger Splash at Out of Africa Wildlife Park

2011-12-02T09:30:00.001-08:00

The catastrophic videos of Destroyed in Seconds

2011-12-02T09:26:00.001-08:00

Funny Cell phone Forward : Two Italians

2011-09-13T02:28:00.000-07:00

Two Italian men talking in a bus: "Emma come firsta. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time" Hearing this, a lady sitting by shouts at them. One of the men replies: "Cool down Ma'm..I was only tellin' my friend here how to spell Mississippi"

Super Bowl Commercials

2011-09-11T15:58:00.001-07:00

Bud Light Cheese Party

Bud Light Caveman

Bud Light

Audi ad

BridgeStone

Career Builder

Coca-Cola 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Coca Cola Ad

Doritos Ad

E-Trade

Garmin GPS

Gatorade Dog Ad

Hulu: Gatorade Man's Best friend (Time: 0:33)

Hyundai Genesis

"Genesis" Ad #2

YouTube: "Genesis" Hyundai's new Super Bowl ad (Time: 0:36)

Ice Breakers 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: IceBreakers Ice Cube Gum Super Bowl Commercial w Carmen Electra (Time 0:33)

Iron Man 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Iron Man Trailer (Time 0:30)

Jack in the Box 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Jack in the Box Jacuzzi (Time: 0:30)

Jumper 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

MySpace TV: 20th Century Fox Jumper Movie Trailer Super Bowl Commercial (Time: 0:33)

Leatherheads 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube Video: Leatherheads Official Trailer (Time: 2:26)

NFL 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: NFL Super Bowl Ad (Time: 1:00)

Justin Timberlake Pepsi Commercial

YouTube: Justin Timberlake's Super Bowl Commercial (Time: 1:02)

What Is Love Pepsi Commercial

YouTube: What is Love -- Diet Pepsi Max Super Bowl Ad (Time 1:00)

Planters 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Planter Cashews Ad (Time 0:29)

Prince Caspian 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Prince Caspian Super Bowl XLII Ad (Time: 0:30)

Taco Bell 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Taco Bell Super Bowl Ad (Time: 0:32)

Tide 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Tide Talking Stain Super Bowl Ad (Time: 0:30)

Toyota 2008 Super Bowl Ad

YouTube: Toyota Super Bowl Ad (Time: 0:30)

Victoria Secret 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Hulu: Victoria's Secret Super Bowl Ad (Time: 0:33)

Vitaminwater 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube Video: VitaminWater with Shaq Ad (Time: 1:00)

Wall-E 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Wall-E Super Bowl Ad (Time: 1:00)

White House ONDCP 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

YouTube: Drug Policy Super Bowl Commercial Ad (Time: 0:31)

Spider-Man 3 How It Should Have Ended

2011-09-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Avatar - How It Should Have Ended

2011-09-03T11:31:00.000-07:00

Although James Cameron's Avatar was amazing, Jake Sully did forget to mention one important thing; his whole reason for being there. Hot blue girlfriend = forgotten diplomacy. :)

How Lord of The Rings Should Have Ended

2011-09-03T11:29:00.001-07:00

How Harry Potter Should Have Ended

2011-09-03T11:08:00.001-07:00

Harry Potter: How It Should Have Ended! With all the dangerous field trips these kids attended, it makes you wonder what kind of permission slips they had to fill out. Be on the look out for new content every THURSDAY! Come back for behind the scenes, deleted clips, and more. Leave us a comment and spread the love by subscribing to our channel and/or give us a 'thumbs up'!

Funny Wedding Quotes

2011-02-27T04:32:00.001-08:00

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t. – Unknown
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. – David Bissonette
The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. - H.V. Prochnow
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. - Rodney Dangerfield
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. - H.L. Mencken
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. - Rodney Dangerfield
Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. - Erma Bombeck
A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. - Lewis Grizzard
Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. - Elbert Hubbard
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. - James Holt McGavran
All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. - Raymond Hull
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. - Groucho Marx
When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip
A husband’s last words should always be, OK buy it. - Unknown
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. - Helen Rowland
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - G. K. Chesterton
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. - James Holt McGavran
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner
Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. - Evelyn Hendrickson
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. - Billy Connolly
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married? - Barbra Streisand
The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. -Unknown
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - Henny Youngman
I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. - Max Kauffmann

Funny Quotations About Leadership

2011-02-27T04:31:00.001-08:00

Management works in the system. Leadership works on the system. - Stephen R. Covey
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - George Patton
Becoming a leader is synonymous with becoming yourself. It is precisely that simple, and it is also that difficult. - Warren Bennis
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch
It’s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. - Adlai Stevenson
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy. - Dave Barry
Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. - Dwight Eisenhower
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you. If you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis
Leadership involves finding a parade and getting in front of it. - John Naisbitt
Pull the string, and it will follow wherever you wish. Push it, and it will go nowhere at all. - Dwight Eisenhower
You can build a throne with bayonets, but you can't sit on it for long. - Boris Yeltsin
A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - James Crook
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men - the other 999 follow women. - Groucho Marx
Delegating work works, provided the one delegating works, too. - Robert Half
Anyone can steer the ship when the sea is calm. - Publilius Syrus
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes. - Lewis Grizzard
It is a terrible thing to look over your shoulder when you are trying to lead - and find no one there. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives. - Theodore Roosevelt
One must change one’s tactics every ten years if one wishes to maintain one’s superiority. - Napoleon Bonaparte
Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean. - Mark Twain
I am more afraid of an army of 100 sheep led by a lion than an army of 100 lions led by a sheep. - Talleyrand
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when people obey and acclaim him, worse when they despise him. But of a good leader who talks little when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves. - Lao-Tzu
The question, 'Who ought to be boss?', is like asking, 'Who ought to be the tenor in the quartet?' Obviously, the man who can sing tenor. - Henry Ford
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint to keep from meddling with them while they do it. - Theodore Roosevelt

Funny Office Jokes

2011-02-27T04:29:00.000-08:00

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. She found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, shortage or no shortage, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."

“I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn't up to it.”

Law of Employment: When leaving work late, you will go unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking lot.

“I earn a seven-figure salary. Unfortunately, there's a decimal point involved.”

Murphy's Law: Office equipment that has broken down will work perfectly when the repairman arrives.

The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local card and novelty shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"

To err is human. To forgive is against company policy.

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

“After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.”

“A computer DOES save time at work. I can play solitaire without having to spend all that time shuffling real cards.”

You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...

While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.

You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week.

You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?"

Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk...

"They told me at the blood bank this might happen."

"I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm!"

"I was testing the keyboard for drool resistance"

"Darn! Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem."

"The coffee machine is broken...."

College Jokes

2010-11-30T21:18:00.001-08:00

The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, "Er... How much for a season pass?"

Track laying trains :Railway track construction

2010-09-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Ever seen how mechanised railway track machines work? check this out

Wedding Anniversary Cell Phone Forwards

2010-08-27T19:39:00.000-07:00

Best wishes to you both on your anniversary,
May the love that u share Last your lifetime through,
As u make a wonderful pair.
Happy Wedding Anniversary

Two Guys Are Chatting..

Guy A: “I’m Going To Bring My Wife To Australia For Our 20th Anniversary.”

Guy B: “Oh.. That’s Cool. What About Ur 25th Anniversary?”

Guy A: “I Will Go Back To Australia To Bring Her Back.” :)

To the beautiful couple in all the land,
May your anniversary be Happy and Grand.
Happy Anniversary

I’m sending this bouquet of love
To say that I love you so much
I hope I say it often enough
I want you to know it’s true,
On this special occasion
I want to remind you
That you are my everything
And
my love is true,Happy Anniversary Lover!

Nothing in this world Could ever be
As wonderful as the love You’ve given me
Your love makes my days so very bright,
just knowing you’re my darling wife(Husband).
Happy Wedding Anniversary

LOVE U are words just three,
which mean so much on our ANNIVERSARY.
so this is what i want to say,
live in my heart n there 4 ever stay!

Marriage is that relation between
man and women in which
the Independence is Equal,
the Dependence mutual and
the Obligation Reciprocal”.
Best wishes for Happy Wedding Anniversary.

How true my feelings were
I found out to be The best thing
in my life Was when you married me
Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband),
For the years we share I know one
thing for sure We make a wonderful pair

Hoping that the love u shared years ago
Is still as strong today as it was
then Bringing u much joy , love
and happiness To celebrate again.
Happy Anniversary

On this special day,
best wishes go to you,
that this wonderful love u share,
lasts ur lifetime through.
Happy anniversary to you my Love

That special day is here again
The day we took our vows
You’re just as special to me today
As you still get me aroused.
Happy Anniversary; Lover

Happy Anniversary
and May
your marriage be Blessed with love,
joy And companionship
For all the years of your lives!

All my love for you FREE!
wishing
u
a
very
happy
ANNIVERSARY….!

Long after our anniversary
And
this greeting has been thrown away
Think of the thought behind it,
Each and everyday,
Happy Anniversary

Good Night Cell Phone forwards

2010-08-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

10 Msgs 4u
1 Hi
2 Hello
3 I miss U
4 HrU?
5 Hope Ur fine
6 Keep smiling
7 Take care
8 God Bles U
9 B happy

10 GOOD NIGHT

Saying gudnite is not just putting
an end to a day.Its a way of saying ,
I remember u before i go 2 sleep.
Hope u can feel the care that goes with it….
GOOD NIGHT

Since your eyes are looking tired…
Let your eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
Happy journey into the world of dreams..
GOOD NIGHT !

Dreams touch your heart and soul,
it is a magical memory that unites fantasy and reality.
Hope U’ll have the sweetest dream tonight…
Good Night

Do not count what u have lost.
Just see what u have now,
because past never comes back
but sometimes future can give
u back ur lost things! ‘good night‘.

A day is going to end again.
It is nice to have a friend like U
making my everyday seems so great.
Thank U my good friend lastly
good night n sweet dreams…

Night is longer than day
for those who DREAM
&
day is longer than night
for those who make their
DREAMS come true.
Wish you Good Night & Sweet Dreams!

Jokes, humor , Forwards, Funny pictures and videos

Cell phone forwards

Cell phone jokes

Acephalous Management

Unbelievable Landings

Genius Cow...

It happens only in India !!!

How Gullible Are We?

30 most funniest books

2/3- Secret Russian Aircraft of WWII

What does it feel like to fly over planet Earth?

Amazing Animals in Tiger Splash at Out of Africa Wildlife Park

The catastrophic videos of Destroyed in Seconds

Funny Cell phone Forward : Two Italians

Super Bowl Commercials

Bud Light Cheese Party

Bud Light Caveman

Bud Light

Audi ad

BridgeStone

Featured Video

Career Builder

Coca-Cola 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Coca Cola Ad

Doritos Ad

E-Trade

Garmin GPS

Gatorade Dog Ad

Hyundai Genesis

"Genesis" Ad #2

Featured Video

Ice Breakers 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Iron Man 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Jack in the Box 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Jumper 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Leatherheads 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

NFL 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Justin Timberlake Pepsi Commercial

Featured Video

What Is Love Pepsi Commercial

Planters 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Featured Video

Prince Caspian 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Taco Bell 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Tide 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Toyota 2008 Super Bowl Ad

Featured Video

Victoria Secret 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Vitaminwater 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Wall-E 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

White House ONDCP 2008 Super Bowl Commercial

Featured Video

Spider-Man 3 How It Should Have Ended

Avatar - How It Should Have Ended

How Lord of The Rings Should Have Ended

How Harry Potter Should Have Ended

Funny Wedding Quotes

Funny Quotations About Leadership

Funny Office Jokes

College Jokes

Track laying trains :Railway track construction

Wedding Anniversary Cell Phone Forwards

Good Night Cell Phone forwards