I like jokes.

2012-06-13T18:16:00.001-07:00

A little girl is riding her bicycle down the street when she comes to a stoplight where a cop on a horse pulls up next to her. He says, "nice bike you got there, did you get it from Santa?" and the little girl gladly says yes. So the cop gives her a $5 ticket and says, "next year tell him to put reflectors on the bike." So the little girl says," nice horse, did you get it from Santa?" the cop gladly says yes. And as the little girl rides aways she says, "next year tell Santa the dick goes under the horse and not on top."

2012-06-13T18:05:00.001-07:00

I hate weddings because old people always poke you and say, "you're next." ... So I started doing the same shit to them at funerals!. :)

2012-06-13T17:15:00.003-07:00

Accidentally ran over my neighbor's cat today and I was too scared to tell him so I left a note saying, "curiosity was here"

2012-06-13T17:07:00.004-07:00

My wife hasn't stop looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets any worse, I might have to let her back in.

2012-06-13T17:05:00.000-07:00

So I was in a banana suit earlier while I was eating a banana. I couldn't decide if it was cannibalism or canabananalism.

2011-06-02T17:20:00.000-07:00

Girl: “Forgive me father for I have sinned.”
Priest: “What have you done my child?”
Girl: “I called a man a son of a bitch.”
Priest: “Why did you call him a son of a bitch?”
Girl: “Because he touched my hand.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touches her hand)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call a man a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he touched my breast.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he touched her breast)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he took off my clothes, father.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: “Yes father.”
Priest: “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where.”
Priest: “Like this?” (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: “YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!”
Priest: (after a few minutes): “That’s no reason to call him a son of a bitch.”
Girl: “But father he had AIDS!”
Priest: “THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!”

Adult joke

2011-06-02T17:02:00.000-07:00

The teacher ask Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy *crying* because I heard my daddy say to my mommy, "I'm going to eat that pussy when the kids leave"

- If you like then follow the blog. More very day.

Hope they never invent this !

2011-06-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.
As the labor progressed, the husband felt find, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerable, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. the wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they arrived home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

it'll happen

2011-05-31T19:47:00.000-07:00

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen MAN: "Hello" Women: "Honey, its me. Are you at the club?" MAN: "YES" Woman: I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?" MAN:"Sure, go ahead if you like it that much." WOMEN:" I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2011 models. I saw one I really liked." MAN:"How much?" WOMEN:"$68,000." MAN:"OK, buy for that price I want it with all the options." WOMEN:"Great! oh, and one more thing... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000." MAN:"Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000." WOMEN:"OK. I'll see you later! I love you!" MAN:"Bye, I love you to. The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

How to incease GOOGLE ADSENSE

2011-05-31T15:11:00.000-07:00

Why Google Adsense CPC Reduced? How To Overcome?

Advertising Price up or down is very normal thing, especially for Google Adsense publisher. Many people think that what has been done by Google to reduce the cost per click price (CPC), In fact is not the case. Google will control all of the clicks price via SmartPrice, but this does not mean that Google intends to reduce the income of your sites, because google Revenue reduced too while your income dropped. To do so just to let advertisers’ investment more effective.

So, you may ask: why my adsense price reduced or dropped?

1. Advertisers adjust prices

This is the most unworthy complained reasons for lower prices. Because advertisers will be priced according to budget adjustments, and the usual principle is that the beginning of a day Price high, Price high when the week start, price high at the early month, high priced when festivals.

2. Too many invalid clicks causes low Google Adsense Unit Price

The invalid click is refers cannot give the advertisement host to have the actual benefit click, including user late, induction click, compulsion click as well as other malicious click, this continuously all advertisement advocates peace the promulgator most matter of concern.The invalid click filtration condition has very much very many, I thought the quite important judgment content .
1st, identical computer identical IP clicks on
2nd, identical computer different IP many times in certain time clicks on
3rd, different computer identical IP many times clicks on
4th, the identical computer different IP orderly click massively
5th, the different computer identical IP orderly click
6th, through the commonly used anonymous proxy server click
7th, the high click rate
8th, the neighbor IP section has clicked on
9th, massively, not the normal click behavior, for instance the machine or the procedure simulation clicks on

3. SmartPrice

1st, Many factors determine the price of an ad – More than conversion rate goes into determining the price of an ad: the advertiser’s bid, the quality of the ad, the other ads competing for the space, the start or end of an ad campaign, and other advertiser fluctuations.
2nd. Clickthrough rate doesn’t affect advertiser return on investment (ROI) – The percentage of clicks that convert for an advertiser is the most important factor in an advertiser’s ROI, so it’s not only possible, but common, to have a low CTR and a high advertiser conversion rate.
3rd. Google doesn’t make money from ’smart pricing’ – In fact, we make less money, since the cost to advertisers is reduced in order to provide a strong ROI. Ultimately, this leads to higher payouts for publishers by drawing a larger pool of advertisers and rewarding publishers who create high quality sites.
4th. Remember the old chestnut: “Content is King” – The best way to ensure you benefit from AdSense is to create compelling content for interested users.

4. The location and intended of the users

The cost per click depends on the location and intended appearance of the advertisement. That is, if you intend to put the advertisement such that the internet user may be able to know that it is really an advertisement, you will probably get a higher cost per click rather that designing your advertisement to deceive the internet user that it is part of your content. A scrapper site, as most of the webmasters called them, use these strategy. Trying to blend the advertisement to the content of their website that is solely created for Adsense advertisement purposes.
My advise is to design the adsense advertisement such that it doesn’t seem to deceive the internet user that it is part of your content.
How to do that?
1.) Place it away from your content but not very far, maybe just put it in a different cell or table.
2.) Dont camouflage your Adsense to the design of your website.

5. the number of advertisement

CPC depends on the number of advertisement. Google allow publishers to put up to 3 contextual advertisement, 2 searchsite, and 1 link ad in one page. And some of the publisher fully utilize that for the expectation that it will increase their number of clicks and thereby increase their revenue. But I think it will not work. What it surely does is it totally degrades the quality of your website thereby annoyed your users and make them not anymore interested in your website and all its content. Therefore, it will not help you achieve goal of having more clicks. But even if you gain clicks out of that overwhelming number of advertisements, I`m very sure it has low CPC.
Why?
Simply because of having so much advertisements, you are also advertising advertisement from a low CPC bidder together with the higher one. If you will just put atmost 4 advertisements (banner) you are so much sure that these for advertisers are the first four highest bidders and surely has high CPC.

6. New site Effect

This is google’s characteristic, treat good for newbies. New site will quick get a good rank on google search engine, but soon dropping day by day unless the webmaters perform a goos SEO.
Google Adsense is same as goole search engine. When a new adsense publisher approved, regardless of what ads matching, even in different languages or no related theme, always get a high ad price. We can conside this as a promotional method, so that the new publishers have more interest in participating in this advertising program. The new site effect will last several weeks, even more than 1 month. So, many webmaters launch new site Constantly, when the price reduced, a new site launched.

7. Your host health and speed

Regardless of search engines or Google Adsense required the good stability of the site. If your site can not access very often, not only it won’t get a good rank but also low-priced adsense CPC.

2011-05-31T12:23:00.000-07:00

joe says to mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like heck. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies
there is a diagnostic computer down at wal-mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you whats wrong and what to do about it.
It taks ten seconds and costs you ten dollars... A lot cheaper than a doctor. So joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to wal-mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak arm in warm water and avoid heavy activities. It willl improve in two weeks. That you for shopping at wal-mart."
Later that evening Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries to wal-mart eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction and waits the results. The computer prints the following: 1) your tap water is to hard. Get a water softener. 2) Your dog has ringworms. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.. 3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4) Your wife is pregnant with twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5) if you don't stop playing with yourself your elbow will never get better!! Thanks for shopping at wal-mart..

life

2011-05-30T22:19:00.000-07:00

Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last long if your morbidly obese.

05/31/11 laugh on this !

2011-05-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

I make jokes to keep ppl happy :)

I'm afraid when i meet god, he'll sneeze and I won't know what to say.

know this

2011-05-30T20:49:00.001-07:00